This chapter is a soft edit with some grammar and spelling corrections. A final edit is pending review and will be uploaded when finalized. I apologize in advance for any errors that were not corrected.

After they were in the clear, Lumberman circled back with the instructions from Big Mac. They stayed just far enough away to avoid detection from the guards. Lord only knows how long Granny Smith could hold them off if she even could at all. Once back on the clear path, Lumberman pushed the limits of what was safe for all the passengers as he sped back.

Coming back down the familiar hills, Lumberman made a b-line straight to the front door and laid in on the horn. Once he reached the house and hit the breaks. The tires dug into the soft soil, digging up the grass and making the truck slide almost to the point of losing control.

As soon as the truck was parked, everyone jumped out that could. Lumberman opened the back door for Applejack. She looked out the door, worried and uncertain what to do. She'd been holding onto Kelly the whole drive. All the blood that had been bleeding over her was finally starting to take its toll on her state of mind. There had also been no sign of improvement the entire time she was there with her.

Cerb came in to take over. "Hey, come on. I can take her from here. We got to get her inside."

Applejack was a bit slow to respond. "Yeah. Right." She looked back down to Kelly's motionless body and her blood-stained shirt. "Do I..."

"Here," Cerb reached in, sliding her hoof away and taking the pressure off the wound. "You slid out, and I'll grab her. Lumberman, get the door."

Lumberman ran to the front door, practically knocking it off its hinges as he threw his shoulder into it. "Becky! We need you! Now!" He shouted as he entered the hallway. To his dismay, as he entered the kitchen, he saw a sight that made his heart drop into his stomach and steal his breath away.

"Lumberman," Becky asked, sounding a little scared from his entrance. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

Applejack trotted in not too far behind. "Hey, is there anything else I can do to help before-" Applejack locked up all fours and slid just passed Lumberman. The blood on her hooves making it difficult to keep traction on the slick tiled floor.

"Becky!" Cerb hollered, carrying Kelly in just passed the doorway, Big Mac right on his heels.

"Dude! Wait!" Lumberman hollered back.

Too concerned with Kelly, Cerb and Big Mac continued further in until he saw the same sight that made the others freeze.

"Is everything alright?" harked the royal voice of the one and only Princess Celestia.

All four stared in dread. In the living room sat all the others, a dozen royal guards, and Princess Celestia in the center of all of them.

"Applejack?" Celestia spoke up, seeing the red that had coated over much of her orange coat from the neck down. "What in the world are you covered in?"

"Kelly!" Becky screamed out. The sight of her friend unconscious in Cerb's arms, and both of them covered in blood took a moment to process. "What happened?!" She yelled, bolting out of her seat and rushing over.

Chris stood up from his recliner. "Holy fuck! Is she okay?"

Sniff jumped out of his seat, "I'll grab the medkit!" He yelled, running past them and climbing up the stairs.

Benny ran just behind him. "You grab the one in the bathroom! I got a bigger one stashed away in my room somewhere!"

Rainbow Dash stood up from the floor. "Medkit? Is she hurt? Should I get help?"

"What?" Rarity blurted out, jumping up and making her way to Cerb's side, with Fluttershy right behind her.

Cerb and Lumberman both eyed them with an unwelcoming stair but quickly turned their attention back to Celestia and the many guards that surrounded her.

Fluttershy hovered up to get a better view of Kelly. "What happened to Kelly? Is there something I can get to help?"

Becky was all over Kelly, holding her hand and calling out her name, She lifted Kelly's head. "Kelly, talk to me, hun. What happened." Seeing her friend like this was almost just like when they first arrived, and Kelly was cradling her instead.

"What happened?" Becky asked in a hushed voice, but she heard no answer. She looked up to Cerb, tears running down her face. "Justin, what the fuck happened!"

Cerb and Lumberman still stood silent. Their blood was boiling, but all they could do was stare at the room full of those they now held responsible.

"Justin! Say something! What happened out there?!" Becky screamed again.

"I'll tell you what happened," Big Mac answered, followed by a dull thud of something hitting the floor.

Big Mac pushed his way through, walking between Cerb and Lumberman, his mallet again attached to his wrist. With each step, he continued to tighten the leather strap.

The royal guards in the room took notice and raised up or unholstered their weapons. Tensions increased with sounds of metal clanking as they took defensive positions, their spears smacking against their armor and the swords unsheathing. At the same time, Lumberman slowly stepped back towards the shotgun left standing upright in the divider section of the kitchen and the living room.

Big Mac stood in front of his new friends, and now that some time had passed, the story of the battle back on the farm was showing. Much of his fur was matted and roughed up. Small bumps and bruises riddled all of his limbs, and his left eye was darkening with a healthy shiner.

"Macintosh," Celestia called out, concerned for his well being. "What-"

"Your Royal Guards accused Kelly of being a criminal! Tried to abduct her, and then stabbed her in the back as I held her in my hooves!" Big Mac screamed at the leader of Equestria.

Sniff and Benny returned from the upstairs with the medical supplies in hand but stopped at the sight of the standoff.

Celestia stepped off the couch and stood tall, radiating her authority. "That's not possible. My guards would never do such a horrible thing."

"Oh, it's true alright," Applejack countered with a mouth full of remorse. "I can't imagine what would have happened had I not stopped the other guard that tried to attack her, as well."

Applejack lowered her head and removed her hat. With sad eyes, she looked up and pulled what little hair of her mane covered her forehead, revealing a large knot. "He didn't appreciate me trying to hold him back from Kelly, and so he cracked me upside the head the pommel of his sword." She softly put her hat back on. "Better me than her," She ended with a sharp tone of anger.

The room grew silent. If Applejack said it, it had to be true. Who could question such a claim if it came from the Element of Honesty?

"I can't believe any of this." Celestia shook her head. "Where are the guards that did this?"

"Still on the farm, I reckon," Big Mac answered bluntly.

Celestia could tell that response didn't leave room for a good explanation. "Still on the farm? They were just sent to escort Applejack here to our new guest. Why are they still there?"

Big Mac swung his mallet up into his hoof and held it as he did before when he faced off with Spearhead. "They're still there because I didn't like what the dun did to Kelly."

Celestia gasped, and the guards moved in closer to their princess. "Big Macintosh! You didn't! Is that why you're-"

"I most certainly did, Princess," Big Mac answered back, his voice rich with ire. "I'm sorry things had to work out this way. But ain't no pony gonna hurt one of my friends like that and get away with it."

As soon as those words left his lips, everyone could see an instant change in the guards. Their eyes narrowed, and their bodies flexed, ready to fight and avenge their fellow guardsmen.

Celestia couldn't accept their story, but if one of their friends were injured, she would tend to that first. "I will get to the bottom of this," She stepped closer to the group. "Now if you would let me take a look at-"

Lumberman took a big step up in front of the group next to Big Mac and raised the shotgun. He racked in a shell. "Not a chance, Princess."

The guards jumped in front of Celestia, forming a wall of armored ponies, swords, shields, and spears. Big Mac raised the mallet up over his shoulder, ready for another round if that's what this was leading to. Even Applejack hunkered down in a fighting stance. The other ladies, both human and pony, shrunk back afraid of what would happen next.

"Woah! Woah! Woah!" Chris shouted out as he stepped in front of both groups with his hands raised up to hold each side from attacking each other. "Guys! This is probably just a big misunderstanding."

Chris turned to Celestia. "Princess, please. We made a lot of progress today, right?"

"What you talking about, Chris? What the fuck were you all talking about when we were gone?" Lumberman asked while moving the gun from one guard to the next, trying to keep each one in check.

"Biggie did murder Tupac, dumbass," Benny argued back.

Sniff stood up. "I can't hold a conversation with you guys if you actually believe Tupac is dead."

"What? Dead? Awe, no," Chris mockingly gestured. "He was just shot four times in the chest. How could he be dead?"

Sniff walked out of the shade and readdressed his friends. "Well, for one thing. Cerb took more hits than that, and he survived."

Benny turned away at the terrible joke. "Dude! Don't- Don't fucking go there."

"Dude? Really?" Chris shared the same sentiment.

Sniff didn't back down. "I'm just saying. Cerb went through worse and survived it in sand-country while being worked on by Uncle Sam. If that doesn't scream survivable, I don't know what does."

Benny was a little more pissed off now. Not from what Sniff said, but because he actually thought the joke about government medical services was funny. He turned away in shame. "Valid point," He answered, pointing a finger to emphasize his agreement. "But look at Cerb, and then think back to Tupac's scrawny ass. Is it really all that hard to believe that our Cerb would make it out and not Tupac?"

Sniff turned to his side, putting his hands together and resting them under his lips like a man who was contemplating something deeply. "Also, valid," He acknowledges taking a few steps forward. "However," He raised his right hand up, pointing to the sky, ready to drop a revelation on them. "You are overlooking one vital aspect of the Tupac assassination."

Benny rolled his eyes. "Don't tell me. Tupac was never-"

"Tupac was never shot!" Sniff finished before Benny could. "You are absolutely correct. It was all a clever ruse they both used so they could finally retire out of the rap game. However! Tupac made one fatal mistake. Actually, it was just a mistake because he didn't die-But one mistake!"

Chris bobbed his hands up and down, already knowing the answer.

"He kept making music." Sniff and Chris answered in unison.

"Man, it just makes you think," Sniff stopped, looking out towards the forest edge. He then noticed that Becky and Rainbow Dash had walked off, and that's where they were headed.

"I thought we weren't supposed to go in the woods? What the fuck are they doing?" Sniff asked the others as if they knew.

Benny leaned forward to see for himself. "He just caught the last glimpse before they disappeared behind the greenery. "Not alone at least. She's got Rainbow Dash with her. They should be fine."

Sniff propped his hands on his hips. "Is Lesbo Dash really her safest bet out there?"

Chris struggled to get back up on his feet. "A pegasus that can fly faster than the speed of sound and knows karate. Gee Sniff, I think you better go grab the twelve-gauge and babysit. Poor Rainbow will be so grateful that a big strong man like you came to protect her. Hell, she might even put a skirt on for ya as thanks."

"Gah," Sniff winced. "I fucking hope not. I mean. I'm all about get'n tail, but not fucking literally. Besides, didn't you already call dibs, Chubs?"

Chris hated that name. "Oh please, I doubt I like My Little Pony as much as you love getting pussy. You'll get thirsty sooner or later."

"Sniff is always thirsty," Benny added.

Sniff looked back at the sad state of timber they had collected. "No doubt about that. But Chris is the only one here who wants a drink."

Benny snickered, finally getting back up himself. "Damn, Chris. You just can't win, can ya?"

"So, Chris," Sniff turned back to his verbal punching bag. "Which pony you trying to get a sip of first?"

"Get a sip of?" Chris asked like he didn't know what Sniff was talking about. "How'm I gonna get a sip if you guzzle them all down before I even get there?"

"Oh, damn!" Benny egged the two on. "Shots fired!"

Chris kept the hits coming. "Shit, man. Might have to change your name to Drought after you drink the county dry."

"Ahhhh!" Benny exclaimed, overexcited. "Game over, bro. You got nothing on that. Take a walk."

Sniff tried not to let Benny push him away to wait out the clock so he could think of a comeback. "Yeah, well..." He sadly didn't have a comeback. "God damn it. This is bullshit! Chris has the home-field advantage."

Sniff marched off back to the ax in the tree. "Put me back in a world where the pussy is edible, and this shit wouldn't happen."

"Damn, Chris. Look at you," Benny said, congratulating the victor with a fist bump. "Moving on up in the world and killing'em dead. I'm proud of you."

"Don't encourage him!" Sniff shouted out from the loser's corner.

"Shut up, Sniff! You're a disappointment!" Benny ordered.

"Oh yeah?" Sniff mocked a sad voice. "Watch me chop up this tree. You'll see. I'll make you proud again."

Sniff pulled out the ax and weakly brought the ax back down on the log as a joke, bearly chipping any of it off. Before he could raise the ax again, a rainbow-colored blur zoomed in and out in front of him. Each time it returned another stack of sticks was piled up. It was too fast to keep track of how many times it came and left, but it quickly amassed for more wood than all three of them had since they started that morning.

Just as quickly as it started, it was over, leaving behind a sizable collection of wood to burn.

Sniff snapped back around. "The fuck just happened?"

Benny knew who it was. "I think that was your first sip showing you up, Slick."

Sniff was the only one there that didn't understand how ridiculously fast Rainbow Dash was in this world. "No. Seriously. Was that some kind of freaking pony rainbow magic or something?"

Chris strolled over and picked up one of the sticks and examined it. "Well, you see. Rainbow Dash is just stupid fast like I said earlier. So when she heard that you were thirsty for ponies, she brought these sticks to measure your level of thirst."

Chris tossed the stick back in the pile. "I guess she didn't have enough sticks."

Chris walked around Sniff and patted him on the shoulder. "Back to work, Sniff. I'm sure you'll want to impress your Rainbow flavored drink when she flies back."

Sniff turned back to Chris. "Is Lesbo Dash really that fucking fast?"

A gust of wind suddenly blew in. The familiar sound of wings flapping in the air directly behind Sniff left him scared that the rainbow-maned karate horse might have heard him. He stood still and hoped for the best."

"Woah," Chris spouted as he stumbled back. "Geeze. You... you scared me there-"

"Becky needs something to drink, what'cha got for me to take back to her?" Rainbow Dash demanded.

Benny blankly pointed to a small cooler next to the house. "We got a few water bottles left. You can take one for yerself too if you-"

Rainbow Dash flew with a blur to the cooler and then back into view again, only now she was holding up four bottles of water. "Okay, water. Great. This should be good. Oh, and probably should grab-" Rainbow Dash turned her attention back to the house and then again flew off at the same impossible speed. The three guys stood stupefied at the cocky display of the rainbow show horse, wondering just what the hell was going on. Rainbow returned back again to add more confusion to the situation. She brandished a tall thin bottle loosely held with a hoof she had uncomfortably hooked around it. "This is the kind of Voodoo Becky likes, right?" Rainbow Dash asked as she tilted the bottle of vodka back and forth.

Chris looked at the bottle he was sure was his. "Actually, that's-"

"Yeah, you're right," Rainbow Dash answered, obviously not paying any attention to any of them. "If this isn't enough, I can always come back for more. See ya!"

The three stood powerless as Rainbow Dash flew off again, taking four bottles of water and a whole bottle of vodka.

"Hey, Sniff," Benny called over. "Rainbow Dash just stole our water and booze. Now image she did that while dropping N-bombs. Still sound funny?"

Sniff started laughing. "You kidding me? She took Chris's booze. Not mine. That would have made it even better."

Chris turned around. "The fuck, man? How would that be funny?"

Benny started to laugh, too. "If it was Chris? Yeah. Okay. I'm sure we could all laugh at that."

"That was my vodka! None of this is funny!" Chris shouted.

Sniff playfully elbowed Benny. "Dude, check out Chris. Dat nigga's mad."

"Mad?" Chris asked. "Mad is gonna be Rainbow Dash when I tell her that you called her a dyke. She's gonna rip your dick off."

In that instant, Sniff was sure his heart stopped. He covered his crotch in fear that Rainbow Dash might be capable of doing such a thing. "Dude! No! I need my dick!"

Chris held strong his irate anger, glaring down at Sniff with fist clenched tight. Then, his glare slowly morphed into a shit-eating grin. "See how fast he went to protect his dick? Told ya Sniff was thirsty."

Sniff blinked, astounded at the trap he fell into.

"Oooooh, shit!" Benny shouted, jumping up and down. "My man is on fire!"

Benny bounced over to Chris hugging and jumping all over him like an idiot. Chris relished this moment. It was his best hot streak ever.

"Boom! Take a walk, Sniffles!" Benny laughed while he pointed off into the distance.

Sniff tossed the ax over the log. "Fuck you guys! I'm going for a walk."

The two continued goofing off and celebrating the epic burn. They couldn't wait to tell the others and listen to them rip on Sniff as well. Maybe offer him drinks all night. Then they looked back to the log. Still not chopped up.

"Fuck," Benny sighed. "You know what? Screw it. We'll use the ax another day. I'm going back to the chainsaw."

Sniff's walk of shame didn't take him very far. Only out as far as the garage as it turned out. He looked around at the clutter still not properly sorted through. "Stupid Chris and his stupid home-field advantage. Can't even tell who the fuck half these horses are half the god damn time or what not to say. Most powerful warriors in the land bullshit. Pink one bakes pies for a fucking living. Of course, Chris would know that shit. Probably went to bed every night dreaming 'bout eaten their fucking hair pies."

Sniff continued venting his frustrations and lost himself sifting through miscellaneous items and tools that were out of place. He eventually found himself sorting through a box of mixed nails, bolts, and screws.

One by one, he rummaged through the box, pulling them out and dropping them in some coffee cans not being used. "Nail. Nail. Bolt. Screw. Screw. Nail'n bitches. Nail another bitch. Bolt that needs a nut. Screw my life."

"HI!" Boomed a high pitched feminine voice.

"Gah-Jesus fuck!" Sniff shouted as he jumped. The coffee cans and all their contents spilled out of his hands. He turned around to yell at or deck who, or whatever just scared the shit out of him.

What he saw made him jump a second time. "Shit!" He fell back into the small shelf he was working on, his ass coming down on a pile of the nails and screws. "Fuck!" He jumped forward grasping behind him and pulled out a screw from his left ass cheek.

He examined the screw, then immediately came back to the mass of ponies before him. Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Starlight, a giant white alicorn he couldn't remember the name of, and too many other ponies of all kinds decked out in golden armor.

Pinkie Pie happened to be the closest to him and was bouncing like a toddler on a sugar high. She shared a broad toothy smile that was more creepy than comforting.

"Hello... Pinkie?" Sniff couldn't believe how quickly he could forget their names.

Pinkie stopped bouncing but kept a cute little bob going on with her legs. "Hiya, Smelly," She gleefully greeted him.

"Uh, no. Sniff," He tried to correct her.

Pinkie leaned in, and her nostrils flared as she inhaled deeply. "Yep, Smelly all right."

"No, I mean. Shit." Sniff turned to the open garage door and shouted into the house. "Becky! I need you! It's the ponies again!"

Benny heard the call and hollered back. "She's still in the woods with Rainbow! Who showed up?!"

Sniff looked over the wide cast of ponies, both in the garage and lined up outside of the house. He shouted back into the house again. "Uh... All of them?!"

"What's that in your hand?" Pinkie asked, carefully examining his closed fist.

"It's. It's just a screw." Sniff explained. He leaned closer to the open door. "Guys!"

"Did you screw your own butt, or did some other pony do it?" Pinkie asked, too innocent to know the great joke she made.

Sniff sulked, giving up on life. "That's it. I'm gonna hang myself."

Twilight walked up next to Pinkie. "Sorry to bring so much company with us unannounced."

"What? No. Come on. You know the saying. Two's a crowd. Three's a party... Eighty is... just another Monday." Sniff's sarcasm somehow was lost in the message to the ponies.

"Oh, good," Twilight sighed. "I thought this might be a bit overwhelming when we showed up.

For no reason at all, Pinkie's whole body stretch upward slightly, and she became hyper excited again. Her little pony legs rapidly jogging in place. "Ou! I'm gonna go say hi to the rest of the human peoples."

"Hold on, Pinkie. Wait!" Twilight pleaded to no avail. Pinkie was already gone.

From the backyard, their exchange could be overheard.

"Pinkie!" Benny greeted her.

"Troll Guy!" Pinkie shouted.

"Hey, Pinkie!" Chris yelled out.

"Squeezy!" Pinkie's voice echoed out.

"I'm sorry if we're interrupting anything important, but we really need to talk," Twilight announced, sounding more like an apology.

It didn't take long for Sniff and his friends to bring the other ponies in and get situated in the living room. Celestia on the couch, the other mares sat randomly around the room with a dozen guards posted around them. Another sixty guards stood post at every corner of the house and roved the perimeter.

Idle chit chat with Benny about his home and its furnishings ate up time while Rarity and a few of the guards went out to retrieve Rainbow Dash and Becky.

"It's nice to make a visit out of the castle and be able to use furniture that can comfortably accommodate a pony my size," Celestia commented, rubbing a hoof over the couch cushions. She looked across the room to Sniff who was leaning against the countertop. She hoped to get a response out of him since he hadn't been very talkative.

Chris sat nervously in his recliner adjacent to Celestia. "You're not that big, Princess."

"That big?" Celestia asked, questioning the comment as if it were some backhanded compliment.

Sniff recoiled inside. "Chris... just stop, stop saying words."

Chris realized his goof. "Oh, no. I didn't mean-"

"And look. More words," Sniff shut him down.

Celestia chuckled at their playful banter.

"Celestia," A pegasus royal guard announced. "Rainbow Dash and the other human are here for you now."

Rainbow Dash was the first to make her way in through the sliding glass door. "Sorry we took so long, Princess. This is Becky. Sheeee's not feeling too well today."

Becky walked in behind Rainbow Dash, holding one hand over her chest and the other carrying the vodka. "Hello," She roughly spoke, bringing on a few coughs. "It's a pleasure to meet you-" Her words broke down with a grindy mix of sounds that was supposed to be Celestia's name.

Celestia's horn began to glow softly. The pillow at the end of the couch in front of her levitated and floated behind her. She padded a hoof in the now empty spot. "Please, dear. Have a seat, would you?"

Becky slowly walked over and took her seat next to the princess. Rainbow Dash stayed close, choosing to sit by her feet on the floor.

Becky did a quick turn to Chris and handed back his bottle of vodka. "Don't worry. Half's still there," She ended with a patch of coughs.

"Half?" Chris answered. Sounding like someone ran over his dog.

"She's kidding," Rainbow Dash announced all too happily since the joke was her idea. "Becky said it was too early for that."

"Oh, good," Chris was relieved.

"So I'll be back tonight for it," Rainbow Dash said with a smirk.

Chris tucked the bottle back to his side, keeping it well guarded against the would-be thieves. "What! No!"

Becky snorted. Another joke from her new friend Rainbow Dash landed hook, line, and sinker. She looked to Chris, who almost looked terrified at the idea of losing his bottle. She shook her head, silently letting him know that they weren't actually going to steal his booze.

Celestia laid a hoof on Becky's leg. "Twilight has told me about your unfortunate condition. No matter what happens, we'll do everything we can to see that you're taken care of."

"No matter what happens?" Sniff didn't like that choice of words.

Celestia pulled her hoof back. "Yes," Her voice reflecting an apologetic tone. "Twilight and the others have assured me that you and your friends are, well, friendly and will be welcomed members of our peaceful communities here in Equestria."

"But?" Sniff rudely interjected.

"Peter," Becky used his proper name, sternly. "Let her finish."

"Don't mind him Becky-buns," Pinkie Pie's chipper voice inserted itself. Pinkie appeared behind Sniff, rubbing his left ass cheek. "He's been a bit sore since he got screwed in the butt when you and Dashy were out getting wood."

Sniff slapped her hoof away from his ass. "That's not-" He sighed heavily and facepalmed. "Does the walk away rule apply if the Princess is here? Please say it does," He groaned, his face still buried in his hand.

"Sorry, Princess," Starlight apologized. "It's a game they play with each other."

Celestia sat puzzled at the explanation, or lack thereof.

Starlight grinned nervously. "I'll have to explain the rules to you later. It sounds like it could be really fun when you understand how to play it."

"Ooo!" Pinkie cooed brushing up against Starlight. "Can you tell me now, so we can start playing?"

Rainbow Dash swatted Pinkie in the back of the head. "Focus, Pinkie."

"Right!" Pinkie sat up straight and took a deep breath. However, in true Pinkie fashion, she exhaled and slumped over to Rainbow. "What are we focusing on, again?"

Rainbow Dash sighed, giving up with Pinkie.

Celestia looked about the disarray of the conversation in the room with concern. "I'd much rather have as many of you all here as possible, so if you can hold off any of your games, please."

"Awe, poo," Pinkie whined, before getting knocked in the head again by Rainbow Dash.

Not wanting the conversation to be hijacked again, Celestia jumped right into it. "I need to know if any of you here have had any interaction with, or have any knowledge about, a very dangerous pony name Sunset Shimmer."

"Sunset Shimmer?" Chris asked, a bit taken back.

Becky cleared her throat. "You mean your old student that turned on you and went through the mirror?"

All the alarms in Celestia's brain went off, but she held her concerns at bay and played dumb, hoping they would give more information without being formally interrogated. "So, you do know about her and the mirror?"

The other ponies, aside from Rainbow Dash, all felt their heart speed up. To them, the possibility of the humans being a threat for the first time might have some validity to it.

Chris readjusted himself in his seat. "Yeah, not that much though, because-" He paused with a thought. A plot hole just revealed itself.

Chris looked to Twilight like he'd been betrayed. "Wait. Twilight, I thought you said you'd never seen a human before?"

"What?" Twilight snapped defensively. "Of course, I haven't. You're all the first Equestria has ever had."

Chris continued his accusations. "Yeah, but you went through the mirror. You've been in the human world."

"What?!" Nearly half the ponies in the room shouted together.

Becky cleared her throat again. "Well, it wasn't our human world."

All eyes went to Becky. Everypony awaited an explanation.

"But that was for a spin-off series. I don't think it's supposed to be part of this cannon." Becky answered in a manner that sounded like she was questioning herself.

"Cannon?" Twilight asked, sounding inordinately puzzled.

"What kind of cannon?" Starlight followed up, more concerned than puzzled.

Pinkie rose up and braced herself on Starlights head with her front hooves. "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Is it a party cannon?"

Starlight's horn shined and wrapped Pinkie in its aura. Starlight picked up Pinkie and slowly levitated her over her head, so they were eye to eye. Pinkie smiled big and wide as she was held upside down, not knowing why Starlight might not have appreciated having her head stomped on.

Starlight released the aura, dropping Pinkie flat on her head.

"No. It's not an actual cannon," Chris clarified. "We use the term cannon in reference to shows and movies. Cannon just means that characters, stories, events, or things that makeup how a world works are officially part of that universe."

"Uh, Chris?" Sniff interrupted. "You wanna try to explain that in a way so that those who aren't a bunch of nerds can understand it?"

Chris groaned. "Alright. Okay, so. You all know about the Daring Do books in this world, right? Not you, Sniff. Shutup."

Just about all the ponies in the room nodded or verbally acknowledged the book series.

Chris went on. "Okay, so you have Book 1, Book 2, Book 3, 4, and 5 come out, and they all follow the same characters, the same history, and the rules for how things in that world work. Then say the author writes a sixth book where she fights... some creature that she just made up. Doesn't matter what it is. Then she jumps into a well that's actually a portal to another world and has a bunch of adventures there."

This was turning into somewhat a lengthy explanation, but Chris continued with his scenario. "Later on, she does the seventh book but doesn't mention anything about the events in the book where she went to the other world. They become two completely separate storylines of two completely different universes, but they share the same history from the first few books."

"But Daring Do didn't do a story like that," Rainbow Dash complained.

Chris blinked a few times, thinking of how to respond. "Yes... that's why this is an analogy. But yeah. So after those two storylines split, there would be a cannon for what's true and applies to the alternate universe, and canon material that only applies to the storyline that never went to the other world."

"Eeeeeeeeeeegh, I still don't get it," Rainbow Dash whined.

"Okay, that's partially my fault," Chris apologized. "I told you that analogy to help explain this next part. So, remember how I showed you the video about the show based on you guys, right?"

"Yeah!" Pinkie burst into the middle of the conversation. "It was so amazing. There was a theme song. Then it was me and Maud in Canterlot. And we were-"

"PINKY!" Celestia shouted in the Royal Canterlot voice, scaring everyone and everypony in the room. "Be quiet, please," She softly spoke.

Pinkie didn't say a word. She stood tall at attention, rendered a proper salute, then pulled a zipper across her lips that zipped her mouth shut.

Sniff eased himself out of his panic position from the countertop. "I think a peed a little," He said, sliding his hand away from his heart.

Celesta glared at Sniff. "That's disgusting." She turned back to Chris. "Please continue."

"Okay..." Chris answered, his heart still racing. "Ah, right. Yes. The show. There was the show that focused on all of you. But then they did another show called Equestria Girls. It started off with all of you girls in the Crystal Empire castle. Sunset tried to steal Twilight's crown but tripped over Spike, and you all chased after her, but she got away with the crown through the mirror portal. Then Celestia sent you alone with Spike in after her to get it back."

"Why would she send me alone with Spike? Shouldn't we all have gone in after her?" Twilight asked.

"Well, actually she just sent you in alone. Spike snuck in anyway. The why? -" Chris thought about that. - "Bad writing from whoever wrote the script? I dunno. Something about the human world couldn't handle that many ponies going in at once. It was stupid. But anyway. You wake up over there and freak out because you were turned into a human and Spike was now a dog."

"What?" Twilight freaked out at the thought. "Me? A human?"

Rarity's fashion senses went off. "Chris, deary. Did she at least look nice?"

Chris shrugged. "I dunno. Seven outta ten?"

"A seven?!" Twilight protested in offense.

"Hey," Chris retorted in defense. "Don't look at me. I didn't make the show. Besides, I think you rank much higher than a seven as a pony."

Then the room was awkwardly silent, and the reactions to Chris's words were wide and varied. Blank stares were common among the mares, though many of the guard ponies shared the expression of trying to hold in their laughter or seemed to be embarrassed for him.

Pinkie slowly slid across the floor next to a blushing purple princess. Pinkie slowly unzipped her mouth. "Hey Twilight," She stage whispered. "I think the squishy one thinks you're pretty."

Soft chuckles from some of the guards losing their military bearing only made Twilight's cheeks burn brighter.

"Hey, Twilight," Pinkie continued to stage whispered loud enough that one would wonder if she was trying to let everyone hear on purpose. "I know you're not doing anything this weekend, so maybe you-"

Pinkie's words thankfully turned to mumbles. Twilight had used her magic to rezip Pinkie's mouth closed and was pushing the mumbling pink pony behind her. Pinkie continued to mumble what sounded to be like very poor dating advice.

Pinkie continued her inaudible instructions for setting up the perfect date night, complete with hoof gestures. Those gestures became more enthusiastic as she was pushed outside past the sliding door. She tried to get up to come back in but was held down by the magic Twilight refused to relinquish.

Still, not enough. The handle to the door shined with same aura and Twilight pulled it closed. The lock clicked in place, but couldn't completely shut out Pinkie Pie.

All still present in the room looked away from Pinkie, out of respect, or embarrassment. Pinkie had moved on to making lubby dubby gestures and turned her back to the princess with her hooves wrapped around herself, giving the appearance of making out. Truly an Equestrian first for intelligence gathering operations or a diplomatic mission.

Chris wanted to take some of the awkwardness away. "You know. Just to be clear. I think that all the ponies-"

"Chris. Please stop." Benny insisted. "You're much better and shoveling exposition than you are digging yourself out of holes."

Celestia leaned into Starlight's ear. "Is this where he would have to walk away if they were playing the game?"

Starlight couldn't even look Celestia in the eyes. She gently raised a hoof to Celestia's neck and guided her away from her ear. "Not now, Princess. You're making it worse," She whispered, but not quietly enough.

"Sooooo...." Rainbow Dash redirected the conversation. "Spike was a dog, huh?

"Yep!" Chris answered, not losing any of his awkwardness.

"Neat," Rainbow Dash nodded. "How high would you rate him out of ten?"

That was too much. Sniff, Benny, Becky, Rarity, Starlight, and all the guards lost it. Sniff doubled over and went down to his knees from laughing so hard. Whatever sense of seriousness the threat of Sunset Shimmer had, was gone. Only this was going to be the take away from their meeting today.

Chris looked around the room. There was going to be no support from his friends. Fluttershy met his gaze, but for only a moment. Even she wore a smirk and had to look away blushing. She was trying so hard not to laugh with the others.

Twilight's condition was only worsening. She had turned so red that the blush was spreading to her neck.

Celestia, on the other hand, was far more sympathetic. She looked down on him with such sad eyes. Her hoof raised slowly and gently waved him off. She didn't even have to say the words "Walk away."

Chris stood up and excused himself, sulking away out through the garage and taking his bottle of vodka with him. He was never going to live this one down.

Having her fill of this, and thinking Chris was far enough away, Twilight unloaded. "Quiet! It's not funny!" She hollered, silencing much of the laughter.

Pinkie Pie pushed herself up against the glass, laughing hard into it. "No! It was hilarious!"

Twilight growled as her horn began to glow again. The aura around Pinkie returned again, zipping her mouth shut and forcing her rump back to the ground.

Pinkie's laughs turned to grunts as she tried to undo the zipper and pull her rump off the ground. In both efforts she failed and quickly gave up, crossing her hooves in a humph.

Now that Chris was out of the room, even Celestia started to laugh her cute little laugh. "Okay, everypony, quiet down." She politely ordered before addressing her student. "It was funny, though, Twilight."

Twilight growled again.

Rainbow Dash snickered. "Don't feel too bad, Twilight. With a little luck and a lot of makeup, you might end up tied with Spike."

All the ponies again laughed. Even the guards joined again at the site of Celestia throwing her head back because she was laughing that hard.

Benny and Sniff were laughing harder than the others. The double entendre of being tied with a dog version Spike was far funnier than ranking the same on a beauty scale.

Twilight wasn't pleased at all and repaid Rainbow Dash for her joke with a telekinetic pillow to the face, hard enough to knock her off her ass.

"Okay. Simmer down my little ponies," Celestia ordered, still laughing herself. "We need to get back on track."

Celestia looked around the room with the three remaining humans. "So, can any of you pick up where Chris left off?"

Sniff shook his head. "I never watched the show."

Benny shrugged. "I only saw a little bit of the show, and I think what I saw happened way before any of that went down."

They looked to Becky, who was sucking down a bottle of water. She cleared her throat. "Umm," She cleared her throat again. "I think I can, but I might not be as good as Chris."

"What can you tell me, dear?" Celestia asked in a comforting tone.

She thought about it. "Well, if what Chris said about the worlds having different cannon, then this world doesn't make any sense."

"How so?" Celestia asked.

"Because you can't have overlapping cannon from two continuities." Chris's voice declared from the garage. He emerged through the door, sipping from a red solo cup.

"Dude, that wasn't nearly enough time away after a burn like that," Sniff joked.

"Yeah, well sue me," Chris snapped. "There's two different realities with Celestia and Sunset. One where you had Sunset as a student who went through the mirror, and one where that didn't happen at all. Everything about this world reflects the one where that didn't happen with her. Otherwise, she would have came back by now. However, she was your student and did go through the portal. So why didn't she come back?"

Celestia lowered her head. "She can't."

"Why not? You said it opens every thirty moons. If she won't come to us, surely we can go to her, right?" Twilight asked.

Celestia sighed again. "No, we can't. We can't because the mirror is broken. It broke sometime after Tirek was defeated, though I do not know how it happened. It wasn't till shortly after Starlight Glimmer had decided to join you and the other Elements of Harmony that I had gone back to see it again. Seeing you take on a pupil of your own made me think back to when you first came to study under me. It also reminded me of the fears I had with you after my failure with losing Sunset Shimmer."

Celestia looked again to Chris and Becky. "Also, I never had the mirror sent to the Crystal Empire, though the thought had crossed my mind. And that alone makes me ponder now. This show of yours, with our stories being told. Is it possible they somehow got it wrong?"

Becky didn't have a clue on how to address that question. Chris, however, stood in the hallway, swirling his drink. Seemingly lost in thought.

"Hmm," Chris lifted his cup and downed at least three shots worth of vodka. "Well, if we're talking about a multiverse theory, then anything is possible. This might be a version of MLP FIM universe that's different from both shows for all we know."

"Dude," Benny shook his head. "This is My Little Pony, not Marvel."

"Same concept, Ben," Chris replied back. "That is a good example, though. Similar worlds, all of them with a lot of the same characters and rules on how their worlds work. But all of them are different, yet they're are still connected to each other. Maybe we're in one of those off chutes."

"How many are there?" Benny asked.

"Well," Chris bobbed his head back and forth, trying to think about it. "Anywhere from three, with the two shows and the comics toooooooo..." Chris gave an intentionally long delay for suspense. "Infinite."

"Infinite?" Twilight blurted out. "That's not possible."

"It is with String Theory," Sniff corrected her.

"I've never heard of a theory with such silly name," Twilight scoffed.

"That's because human scientist thought of it, sweet heart," Sniff answered with a smirk.

"Wu," Twilight didn't appreciate being talked down to in regards to intellectual and scientific studies. "Well we ponies have studied both science and magic, so I think we would have a much better grasp on dimensional limitations."

"Hey Twiggels, humans don't have magic. So what do you think we've invested more time in researching?" Sniff countered.

Twilight wasn't about to take that sitting down. "Well, that doesn't-"

"We created a way view into your world, by accident, with a cartoon show for little girls. We also, know about other dimensions that are already linked to this one and have explained how two can coexist from a single separating event. All from theory. And you're still trying to catch up." Sniff responded sharply, laying his cockiness on thick.

Twilight grumbled for a moment. "Well, no. You only know about one dimension linked to ours, so you're already overstating the extent of your knowledge."

Chris leaned into the debate. "Well, no. There's also the space for alicorn ascension that Celestia met you in when you got your wings. Tartarus is a pocket dimension that you control access to."

"Luna can enter the dream realm. Technically, that's a dimension all on its own," Becky added.

"Fine!" Twilight shouted in frustration, trying to stop them from adding any more examples. "You can have your string theory."

Sniff turned to give Chris a fist bump. After the bump, he gently pulled Chris over and whispered in his ear. "Thanks, bro. I didn't know shit about the other dimensions."

"Well then," Celestia retook the lead over the conversation. "I'm going to take your word that all of you are both have no connections to Sunset Shimmer and that you are no threat to my subjects. So, in an act of good faith, I am willing to offer you the following."

Celestia stood in the center of the room to address the four humans equally. "I, Princess Celestia, do hereby decree that the humans of this dwelling, who have been delivered to Equestria by no means of their own, to be granted the status of Honorary Guest of our Kingdom. And that they are awarded all of the same rights and privileges that are granted to all citizens of Equestria."

Benny eyes trained from left to right over the room. "Wait. So you're saying that we're now legal residence of your country and get equal rights? As a guest?"

"Yes," Celestia answered with grace. "Furthermore, I declare that this dwelling, as well as a sizable donation of land on where it lay, shall be given protected status as the first human embassy for Equestria. If, of course, they wish to accept this offer."

Benny was more than taken back. This was just utterly huge. "I, uh-Thank you, Princess." Benny was still beside himself and didn't know how to reply properly. "Um, what do I need to do? Do I need to do anything at all, even?"

Celestia smiled. "Oh, just the usual Equal Forces Agreement for establishing Embassies, nothing serious."

"Here you are Princess," Twilight offered up her parchment, already filled out. "I memorized all the Force Agreement documents in preparation for meeting with the Yaks.

Celestia looked over the paperwork. "Well... It appears you did."

"Yep," Twilight answered, all to pleased with herself. "Just need whoever's in charge, or a designated representative to sign, and then either Celestia or myself can sign for the rest."

Chris looked between his friends. "Wait, do we even have a leader?"

Sniff brushed off his shoulders. "Ahem. I'm pretty sure I'm the Boss."

Benny stepped up, holding out his hand for a pen, realizing it was a mistake even to ask that question in front of Sniff. "Don't listen to him. This is my house. I bought it. If anyone has a right to take charge of this place, it should be the guy who owns it."

Becky and Chris nodded and voiced their agreement.

Sniff stepped up behind Benny and patted his shoulder. "This guy right here. He's the owner."

Benny eyed him sideways. "Yeah, dude. We just went over that."

"Yeah, I know," Sniff admitted while stepping back. "But I'm still the boss. Just saying."

"Yeah," Benny said dismissively. "You might want to take that up with the owner. Where do I sign?"

With a few short flicks of the wrist, his agreement to the deal was acknowledged. Celestia signed her piece to approve it, and the contract was official. The humans were now all Honorary Guest of the Kingdom of Equestria.

"So that's it?" Benny asked, still overly excited at the generous offer.

Twilight rolled up the parchment and tucked in her saddlebag. "Well, this is just the initial agreement that only establishes the basics of residency, terms of legal protection and rights for all lawful actions, and the designated location and lot size for the embassy. Typically its only six square acres, but I penned you in for nine," She answered with a wink at the end.

Celestia eased in next to Twilights side. "All multi-national agreements are only valid for one year unless other agreements are made to extend it. There are also other items concerning taxes, fees, civil and criminal jurisdictions. Lot's of things can be negotiated under different agreements."

Sniff turned to Chris as he retook his spot on the recliner. "You hear that, Brony Boy? We got some legal work set up for ya. You might actually start pulling your weight around her for once."

Chris flipped him off, though he was excited to put his legal knowledge to work. As he lowered his hand, he noticed Rainbow Dash had her neck craned over to look up at him. "Oh. I worked as a paralegal back home. I did research and prepped legal documents."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "I didn't ask you about that. I was just wondering how someone as big as you couldn't pull their own weight."

Becky so badly didn't want to laugh at Rainbow Dash's horrible burn, but Chris's dumbfounded expression sealed the deal. "Oh my god, Chris. I'm so sorry," She managed to speak through the laughs. "Rainbow, that was too much."

Rainbow Dash looked back to Chris, not an apology to be found. "Hey, Too Much. Aren't you supposed to walk away or something?" She lifted her wing and shooed him away with the tips of her feathers.

"Soooo. How do we celebrate?" Becky asked.

Pinkie started going crazy on the ground outside. This was her time to shine, but she was stuck in the grass with her lips sealed. She hopped and struggled to free herself, reaching out and pounding on the glass.

Sniff looked down to Twilight. "Are you gonna let her get up?"

"Eh. Eventually," Twilight joked.

You could feel the frustration radiating off of Pinkie. It would have been sad if it were not so comical.

Chris started walking back out to the garage. "I guess we wait until the others get back."

"Oh, yes!" Rarity squealed. "I mean. Then we can all go out to a nice dinner to commemorate such a tremendous occasion. Oh, dear, what shall I wear?"

Fluttershy softly pawed at her hair, bringing her bangs into view. "Um, Rarity? Do I look okay? I mean, for a night on the town, I mean?"

"Of course, sweety," Rarity was all too happy to bring her wingmare in on this venture. "I mean, I can always doll you up a bit more with a little something here and there. But you are still without a doubt are going a catch an eye or two."

Fluttershy blushed and leaned down to let her hair cover her face. "Oh, well. Hmm. Thank you for saying so."

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea, Rarity," Celestia beamed, happy to see things turned out the way they did. Even if some doubts still weighed on her, she had to make the best of this and keep things as peaceful as possible. "Twilight, could you let the other guards outside know that everything is fine and they can retire for the day. And could you also set up a reservation for us in town? Whatever you think would be most appropriate."

Lumberman pulled the shotgun closer into his shoulder. "Come on, Chris. What story did she feed you when Big Mac was getting his ass kicked to save Kelly? What did we miss when she was bleeding out all over us?"

Chris moved closer to Lumberman to minimize his exposure with the shotgun. "Ben signed a contract. We're all Honorary Guest here, now. And this house and the land around it is our Embassy. We have legal status and rights, the same as any other citizen here."

"Benny?" Lumberman called out, not sure how this might change things. "What's going on, man?"

Benny walked up closer into the group. "It's true. Everything he just said. Legally speaking, this is our sovereign land and jurisdiction. And I don't think she would have wanted this to happen to Kelly. But we're not doing her any good just standing around, guys."

Cerb finally took his eyes off of the wall of royalty in front of him and looked down to Kelly, still limp and lifeless. Even her breathing seemed to be dropping.

The room was deadly silent again, save the sound of blood dripping down and splattering on the floor. Tapping over and over like the tick-tock of a clock that had slowed down over time.

"Justin, James," Chris pleaded. "Think about it. Look. She came here to make sure we weren't mixed up with another villain from the show. It took all of ten minutes to get that cleared up. Then she immediately handed over the paperwork to make us legal and give us an embassy. Does that sound like someone who would send out a kill squad after you?"

Cerb felt trapped. Kelly needed help, and they were wasting time. Time Kelly might not have. But there were too many guards to try and handle in such a confined space. The other guns weren't in reach, but he couldn't do anything himself without putting Kelly in even more danger. Lumberman had only five rounds he could pump out if he started shooting. That would leave at the very least seven more guards that Big Mac couldn't possibly handle after the last fight he had. He could count on Applejack, but it was clear that her nerves were shot after everything that had gone down. The other ponies seemed to be allies, but would they turn against their country over strangers they barely knew? He didn't count on it.

Then there was Celestia herself. From what little he knew, the unicorns could do magic, but what could she do? What powers did she hold that made her the ruler of this land?

Suddenly, something came in that distracted both sides. The sound of large flapping wings came overhead with grunts and groans that sounded familiar. Even Big Mac's ears twitched and honed in on the sound.

The flapping stopped with a thud and the clunking of metal outside the sliding glass door. A mostly crushed gold-colored helmet tumbled into view and bounced off the closed section of the door. There was also a low audible boom that went off, though that sounded a bit farther away.

Lumberman aimed his gun to the open door. "That ch'yer boy, Mac Daddy?"

Big Mac dropped the head of the mallet, letting it swing around one more time around his hoof. The leather creaked as it grew tighter than it needed to be before the mallet fell back into his other hoof. "I reckon it is, Timbers."

"Princess!" Spearhead's voice urgently shouted into the room. "The Apple clan, and the human-"

Spearhead stumbled into through the doorway. Lumberman contemplated putting a round of buckshot in his neck right there and then, but the situation was about to be flipped on his head.

"Halt!" Celestia ordered with an outstretched wing in his direction, yet her eyes stay focused on Kelly and the others.

Spearhead locked up his legs and fell face forward on the floor.

"Princess," his voice now reflecting the fear that only an alicorn could instill. "We need to act fast. There was a human-"

"AT ATTENTION, SOLDIER!" Celestia's voice boomed.

Spearhead snapped to attention from off the floor without hesitation. He stood up straight and tall. Upon examination, the abuse from Big Mac that riddled his face and limbs was impossible to miss. From the hairline of his mane to his snout, and stretching all the way through his jawline was the discolorization as one oversized bruise. A large knot protruded from the top of his head, and the rest of his features looked to be much worse off than what Big Mac had suffered. It was clear he was hurting just from standing, yet the fear of disobeying Celestia held him in place.

"Our new guest and the Apple family tell me that their friend Kelly was stabbed in the back by one of the guards I sent to retrieve Applejack," Celestia's voice was harsh and cold, yet controlled.

Benny and Cerb both knew what her voice was entailed. They'd both heard it many times in their years of service. This was not going to be pleasant for Spearhead.

His lips quivered as he tried to explain his urgency. "The human became a threat as we told her she-"

"I told them that it wasn't possible. I told them that my guards would never do such a terrible thing," Celestia's anger becoming more clear despite her monotone voice.

"Big Macintosh wouldn't let us-"

"I told them I couldn't believe any this."

"Pri-"

"Why?"

"... why?"

A brilliant flash illuminated off of Celestia. Her transparent flowing hair blazed back as waves of prism colored ethereal light radiated from her body. The light warped around every weapon in the room and ripped them away, not even Lumberman shotgun or Big Mac's mallet were spared. Each became a part of Celestia's arsenal, bearing down on her insubordinate guardsmen. Swords, spears, the gun, and the mallet drew closer, all closing in onto Spearheads already beaten face.

"WHY WOULD I TELL THEM THAT I COULDN'T BELIEVE THAT MY PONIES! MY SOLDIERS! MY VERY OWN PERSONAL ROYAL GUARDS WOULD NEVER DO SUCH AN APPREHENSIBLE THING!" Celestia's Royal Canterlot voice returned.

Spearhead's legs shook wildly, giving way for him to fall back, cowering. His mouth hung open, a silent scream wanting to escape, but nothing would. He looked into Celestia's eyes like he was staring into the mouth of death itself.

"BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER ALLOW ANYPONY TO DO IT! NEVER IN ALL MY YEARS HAS ANYONE VIOLATED THIS MOST PRECIOUS LAW AGAINST SUCH VIOLENCE! BUT YOU! YOU! AFTER I PERSONALLY ASSIGNED YOU TO DO ONE SIMPLE TASK!" Celestia's rage grew with the bands of ethereal light. The lights radiated much brighter and grew warm. Some of them hissing and sending of small pops of flames.

"It wasn't him!" Applejack called out, fearing the worst from Celestia.

The lights died down, and the heat faded. Celestia strained her neck back. "Did Spearhead not stab your friend?" She turned back to face him. "Is that not why his face has been so thoroughly pummeled?"

Applejack stepped forward. "N-no, your highness. He was there, yes. But it was the earth pony that was with him that stabbed Kelly, with a spear. Spearhead is the one who first tried to stop Kelly from leaving, saying that she had to go with them. There was also a unicorn with'em that popped me in the nogging before we could stop'em, so I didn't see exactly how it happened. But it was clearly intentional."

Celestia eyed over the frightened mess of a stallion that was cowering under her presence, yet none of her anger was diminishing.

Applejack continued her testimony. "He didn't stop either of the guards there with him. Not before or after. Didn't even offer to help me or Kelly. And that's why Big Mac here... well... he did what he had to do."

Celestia moved in even closer. Everything she was hearing only added more fuel to the fire burning inside.

Applejack remembered the last thing she heard in the back seat of the truck, which brought back a fear she hadn't thought of since arriving at the human house again. "Granny Smith had to stay behind to distract the rest of the guards just so we could get away! I-I-I-I don't even know if she's safe anymore."

Celestia swallowed her anger for the time being. Clenching her eyes shut, she forced herself to think like a Princess, again. The weapons were pulled back from Spearhead, returning all the swords and spears to her guards. Regaining her composure, she walked her self back to their company.

"Guards," She ordered, again with a calm and cool voice. "Arrest, FORMER Captain Spearhead, on the charges of disobeying a direct order by deviating from his mission and failure to control his squad members, leading to the injury of a Guest Visitor of Equestria under the approval of Princess Twilight Sparkle.

"Bu. Bu-bu-bu, but," Spearhead could bearly muster a single word. His world was ending, and the life he knew was over.

Celestia faced him again, glaring down with disgust. "We will conduct a full investigation to determine if further charges will be warranted."

Two guards marched forward, picked up Spearhead under his front legs, and began to carry him away.

Celestia gave one final order to her guards as they were dragging him out. "And if he refuses to obey any orders or attempts to flee, you have my permission to use any techniques implemented under his command to detain or restrain him."

Without needing a request, Big Mac's and Lumberman's weapons floated back to them. The mallet was returned to Big Mac's horse collar, but Celestia held onto the shotgun in front of Lumberman, eyeing him with an apologetic stare.

"I apologize for grabbing your... thing. I shouldn't have. I don't even know how it works, to be honest," Or so she claimed, releasing it back into his hands.

"Now then," She said, taking in a deep breath. "I owe you all a great apology that I may never be able to live up to. However, your friend still needs help, and I will do all that I can until we can get some more experienced hooves in here to take over."

She took another look to Kelly and Cerb, the blood still running down her side and dripping off his knuckles. There was no loss of anger in his eyes, either. Lumberman and Big Mac were just the same. Everyone else just looked frightened.

Celestia looked around the room, focusing on what was most important. "We'll need a clean area to work if we are to tend to her injuries. I would offer to help move her to a hospital, but I'm afraid of how much more damage could be done if we do not get her stable first."

Benny pushed his way through the crowd standing in the hallway to the living room. "Here. Clear the table."

Benny walked to the far side of the table, Chris was already at the other end, picking up items and stacking them in his arms.

"No," Benny grunted. "Just," he started clearing everything off with his forearm. "Just throw it off. I don't give a shit."

"Towel!" Sniff hollered behind the counter, tossing over a drying cloth from the kitchen.

Benny wiped off the table just enough for Kelly's back to have a clean section to lay over before Cerb set her down.

"Move, move, move," Becky barked, clearing her way to the table. "Cerb, take your hand off."

She peered through the hole in the shirt, but all she could see was poorly lit blood. Cerb reached in and ripped the shirt open. Tearing it down its side and off from around her neck.

"Thank you..." Becky put her hands on the gash and carefully looked inside. "Holy shit that is big. Water, I need water to clean this up."

Sniff started moving in the kitchen. "Water, on it!"

Amidst the chaos, Rarity nudge Fluttershy. "Fluttershy, you take care of sick and injured animals all the time. Is there anything you can do?"

Fluttershy had been weeping as soon as she understood the severity of Kelly's condition. "I only treat small injuries and common illnesses." She looked back up to see Sniff starting to pour a bottle of water over Kelly's side and a wave of red washing off into the carpet. She fainted at the sight and fell back into Rarity.

Celestia called out to her remaining guards. "Did any of you have the good common sense to send for a doctor?"

"Yes, Princess," One replied. "We sent our fastest flier to the nearest hospital and another to alert Princess Twilight."

Celestia marched towards another group of guards standing by. "I want to know as soon as the doctor arrives. Make sure they are sent directly-"

"Look out below!" A feminine and familiar voice screamed at the guards standing outside. "I said get out of the way, ya jerks!"

"I'm going to start charging you double if you mares keep doing this to me!" Screamed an unfamiliar female voice.

As if it was an act of magic all on its own, Rainbow Dash swooped in the open door carrying a white earth pony mare with a pink mane and tail, dropping her on the floor.

The white mare stood up and brushed off her coat, letting others see the red cross for a cutie mark she had. "Last night one of your friends teleported me to her castle for practically nothing during my off hours, and now you fly me out to the middle of nowhere on my off day."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really sad stuff you're telling me, here," Rainbow Dash sassed as she ignored her complaints and started to dig something out from under her wing. "You're breaking my heart with your sob story. Now take your stupid hat that you just couldn't leave without. I told you, this is a real emergency."

Nurse Redheart finished brushing off her coat just in time to look up and be pelted in the nose with her nurse hat. "If this is an actual emergency, it would be the first one-"

"Nurse Redheart," Celestia was glad to see Rainbow Dash's fast thinking but didn't have the patience for those two to quit their bickering. "-did Rainbow Dash fill you in on the emergency on your way here?"

"Pu-puh-Princess Celestia?" Nurse Redheart jumped into high gear spinning around, unprepared to see her princess. "Ugh, no. We just-" Her eyes moved from the familiar sight of her princess to the emergency and all the confusion she'd be throwing herself into.

Applejack was painted red on most of her fur from the neck down, and she was comforting her brother. Big Mac was roughed up something fierce, and held the hand of the oddest looking creature she had ever seen. Scratch that, there were more of them. Each more bizarre than the last. A tall, pale troll looking one with red hair, a large golem-like beast, and she couldn't even describe the others comparing them to different species she knew. Fluttershy was asleep in Rarities lap. Pinkie Pie sat with droopy eyes and her hair deflated.

Then she noticed the creature on the table again as the troll looking one moved over. She was covered in red. No, leaking red. It was like a flashback to the night before, only times a hundred.

"Oh by Luna's moonlight at noon, what is going on here?" Was all Nurse Redheart could say.

Rainbow Dash loudly clopped her hooves together. "Come on, Redheart! Are we paying you double time or not! You're on the clock! Get moving, would ya!"

Nurse Redheart ran up to the body. "I'm here to help. Nurse Redheart, nice to meet you. What are we dealing with here?"

Becky held open the wound and squirted in water with a turkey baster since it was the best thing she could find. "Female. Age 28. Stab wound through the latissimus dorsi. Victim was stabbed with a spear by somepony who's going to get his shit pushed in if we ever get a hold of him."

Big Mac sat and rubbed Kelly's hand. "I beat you to it. But I left enough for seconds." He tried to sound strong, but he was holding back a lot of tears, and everyone could hear it.

"I dunno sugar cube," sighed Applejack. "Big Macintosh here slapped'em around the kitchen like a rabid dog with his favorite chew toy. Then he bucked his sorry carcass through the wall harder than a- Harder than... Well, shoot. I ain't seen nothing as hard as that buck, Macintosh. You sure got'em good."

Another promising voice came in from outside from one of the winged guardsmen. "Clear the area below! Doctor inbound!"

Celestia wanted no delays and stepped out to brief the doctor herself.

Nurse Redheart watched the inside of Kelly's gash as it was flushed out again."I'm sorry, ugh-"

Becky knew she was the one being addressed. "Becky, just call me Becky."

Nurse Redheart nodded. "I'm not familiar with the anatomy of your... species. But I think I see the main source of the bleeding, but I'm not familiar with stab wounds. Or bleeding. Or anything dealing with blood in general."

Every human in the room shot her a dirty and questionable look.

"Yes, I know. I went through the same round of questions last night with another patient. Patients with bleeding wounds just don't happen in these parts. I'm pretty much working on medical theory at this point."

"Make room, make room," A new voice entered the fray. A male one this time.

Nurse Redheart sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness. Dr. Horse. I'm so glad you're here."

A caramel colored unicorn trotted up to the table. "Oh my, that is a stab wound."

Nurse Redheart huffed in frustration. "Don't bother with the I've never seen a bleeding wound speech, doc. We're all aware."

The doctor adjusted his glasses. "Well. I'm sorry, but at this point, I'm going to be pretty much working on-"

"Working on medical theory, we're past that part too," Becky snapped.

Dr. Horse just nodded. "Well, alright, then. Let's get started."

A medical bag floated up in the doctor's aura and opened, allowing a series of medical instruments to levitate out, landing neatly on a white cloth that spread itself out.

"I take it you're an MD as well, Miss?" The doctor asked, getting his tools in order.

"No," Becky said bluntly. "Two-year medical school drop out."

Dr. Horse blinked repeatedly. He was hoping to have some more qualified assistance. "Well, that still makes you the lead expert in this case. I'll be relying on you for a lot of help. As for everypony else, if you can't get out of the way, please leave the room."

Applejack pulled away from her brother. "Come on, Macintosh."

Big Mac didn't budge. "I ain't leaving."

"Sir," the doctor asked. "Where you close with the victim."

Big Mac looked down at her tired body. The blood-stained shirt was now tattered and frayed. He held her hand in both hooves and stroked it from palm to wrist. Tears streamed down his cheeks and fell into his lap. "Almost..."