As we sit there silently, I start to get an uneasy feeling. Seconds soon turn to minutes, then minutes to, what I'd guess to be, a half-hour.

Once the strange roaring and quaking ceased, I continued to stay put. If not for the creature, then the odd music that came from out of nowhere.

Whatever this world has in it... I'm starting to see why these two ponies have been hiding me. From perhaps a deadly Dictator, to massive creatures, and so much more... I can't imagine what the hell I would find out there, in this world of sugar-coated death.

My thoughts are soon interrupted once I feel Lyra stir around in her sleep. Her hips start to scoot uncomfortably close to me, until...

Oh, COME ON! OF ALL THE TIMES IN THE WORLD TO BETRAY ME!

I take a deep breath, while trying to imagine as many disturbing things as I can to, hopefully, keep the blood flowing evenly, as opposed to where it's all headed at this moment...

Right, then... History Class! Math! Science! Zombies! Cute and Fluffy Animals! Cute and Fluffy Zombie Animals! Blood and Gore! Ponies! Ponies! Ponies! Ponies! Ponies!

It's starting to work! As the vile "Whyboner" finds its way back to a calmer state, I try to keep the rhythm going.

Ponies! Ponies! Ponies! Bon-Bon! Lyra! Lyra's Butt! ... Wait, what?

As if on cue, Lyra's rump soon makes uncomfortable contact, with the thin cloth of the tunic literally being the ONLY thing in-between us.

SHIT! RED ALERT! RED ALERT! WHYBONER INBOUND!

"WELL DOUBLE THE HORRIBLE THOUGHTS! WE NEED TO KEEP THAT BASTARD IN LINE!"

I CAN'T, SIR! LYRA'S BUTT SEEMS TO BE FROZEN ON THE SCREEN AT THE MOMENT!

"WELL WHY THE FK IS THAT EVEN WORKING TO BEGIN WITH?!

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, SIR... YOU MIGHT HAVE A PONY FETISH!

"WHAT?! I DON'T HAVE A PONY FETISH! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU THINK THAT?!"

WELL FOR ONE THING, YOU-

"AND CAN WE STOP SHOUTING, PLEASE?!"

... For one thing, you DID have a thing for Furries. And while they may not stand on two paws, they DO hold the same amount of intelligence as Humans, if not maybe even more!

"And how are you sure it's a PONY FETISH, and not just simply the fact that I'm PENT UP after being here for who-knows-HOW-long?!"

Your mind, Mr. Brain, Sir.

"What about it?!"

You were staring at her ass the other day, and discretely thought that it looked pretty nice while she was writing on those papers.

"Any OTHER Counter-Arguments you'd like to try convincing me with? Because THAT can also be caused by the Pent-Up Tension!"

You always thought those kinds of things specifically when you learned that you were into Furries. So now, what's there to say AGAINST you simply developing a new fetish?

"... Holy shit, I might be developing a Pony Fetish... I blame this damn Magic shit in the air!"

Well on the bright side, sir, you DID find the aliens attractive in Mass Effect! And it's pretty clear you're not on Earth right now, so... I guess it shouldn't be THAT taboo, if it's normal THERE, right?

"... Well, even if that may be, I'm already a Married Man, with a child! When I've completed my purpose here, I'll just have to explain my situation to them, and everything can go back to normal!"

*Ahem*... 'Why hello, Janet, my Beloved Wife! Sorry I haven't been able to talk to you for about a few months! I was kidnapped and dragged into another world, filled with Colorful Ponies and Big Giant Monsters! Also I might've gotten this REALLY awkward boner when a colorful green unicorn shoved her ass on top of my di-'

"OKAY, I GET THE PICTURE! I'LL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS SHIT TO HER!

"... But what point are you trying to make, anyways?"

Simple... you shouldn't feel ashamed that you've started finding these mares easy on the eyes! Maybe when you get back home, you can even start- hold on, I'm getting a call from Penis Department.

"Wait, what the hell are you-"

Shh, hold on...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dudJjUU9Nhs

"... You can't be serious right now! WHY THE HELL ISN'T MY MIND UPDATED WITH WIFI?!"

"... And why's it even making that noise to begin with?!"

Oh, SHIT! MAYDAY, MAYDAY! MOVEMENT DETECTED AROUND THE PENIS DEPARTMENT! BLOOD OVERFLOW IS IMMINENT!

"SHIT! TELL THEM TO STABILIZE THEMSELVES, OR SUFFER THE WRATH OF A MILLION ANGRY BRAINS!"

I CAN'T, SIR! THEY'RE ALREADY SUFFERING FROM BEING TOO PENT-UP AS IT IS!

"FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-"

I internally scream when I feel her starting to stir around some more. Her ass, once just sitting there plopped onto the South Pole, now starts to actually grind against it! It doesn't take long for the month of pent-up tension to show its evil, traitorous face... in the form of a very, very awkward boner, guarded only by the tunic.

Then my blood freezes once she moans, and makes her horn glow a feint green color, illuminating the darkness around us... and it doesn't really register to me until she turns around, that... she's woken up, now!

Her golden eyes lock onto mine, before slowly starting to trail down. I quickly clear my throat, however, causing her eyes to look back up to mine.

"Monster... attack." I try to tell her.

She takes a moment to figure what I said, before nodding her head in understanding. "Oh, right! That! Well, shouldn't be much of an issue, now... uh... wanna let me go now, or do you wanna keep cuddling?

"... N-not that I mind, of course!~" she concludes in a disturbingly forward-sounding tone.

I quickly release her from my grasp and lift the cushions up for her.

"Hmm... actually, you should probably keep hiding until I scout the area... just to make sure nopony else is wandering around here, okay? I'll fix your door afterwards!" she suggests.

I give her a thumbs-up and an appreciative smile. It looks like there's gonna be a lot of work in store for us...

Not wasting any more time, I crawl back underneath the cushions and blankets, and wait for Lyra to give me the all-clear.

As I make my way back upstairs, a thought occurs to me... DID I JUST MOLEST OUR HUMAN FRIEND IN MY SLEEP?!

I begin to worry, as Bonnie's statements come into play. Sure, I may have a Human Fetish, but still! They're as intelligent as WE are, and are NOT to be treated so improperly!

It's then quite clear what I must do... I have to apologize to him, and find a way to make it up for him! After all, that's what friends do, right? Heh... perhaps this is just one of those awkward moments we'll tell the kids one of these- STOP THINKING LIKE THAT, LYRA!

R-right! First, we need to block his room! Then we can discuss how to apologize to him properly, Brain!

Thinking for a moment, I decide to grab a spare blanket from across the room, and nail it to the Basement's Doorframe. I then turn back around to assess the damage...

...

Uh-oh...

As it turns out, the tremors of the Ursa Minor did a HUGE number on the Living Room! Wall Hangings now lay broken and/or turned over, onto the ground, the Front Door looks like it's been clawed by something, and is barely hanging on one hinge, and the Kitchen is still a total mess!

I clear my throat, and smile sheepishly. "Okay, then... let's see if we can get this cleaned up before-"

Before I can even finish talking to myself, the door falls down, and an angry-looking Bonnie stands on the other side, focused solely on me.

Before exactly THAT happens!

I notice Snips and Snails running away several paces behind her, which can only mean one thing... they must've lied and told her that I brought the Ursa into town!

"Uh... B-Bonnie?" I begin, only for her to raise a hoof to silence me.

She closes her eyes and sits on her haunches. Clasping her forehooves together, she raises them over her snout, inhales through her nostrils very slowly, then just as slowly, exhales from her mouth. She repeats her Anger Exercise a few more times, before opening her eyes and looking at me... with an unnervingly blank expression.

"... Proceed." she comments, motioning a hoof my way.

I raise a nervous hoof to speak, but pause, as the situation starts to dawn onto me. They must've followed the direction I told them NOT to go! Oh, those clever little foals... when I get my hooves on them, I'll... w-well, I can't really do anything about it legally, but... I'M GONNA TELL ON THEM! I'M GONNA TELL ON THEM SO BADLY!

... If I survive Bonnie's Wrath, that is.

"Now, in MY defense..." I try to find an excuse to at least turn this situation around... and then it dawns upon me that at least one object didn't get destroyed in the Ursa Minor's carnage!

I point at the untouched Coffee Table and exclaim, "At least the Coffee Table's still in one piece!"

As if on cue, the ceiling crashes down over the poor wooden Coffee Table, and a large pile of books fall on top of it, followed by a bed... my bed... and... wait a minute...

NOOOOOOO! MY PORN STASH! RUINED!!! I internally scream to myself. Looking up, I then notice that the roof has, quite literally, been bitten off of our house! Or more specifically, over where mine and Bonnie's rooms are!

"Um... at least you wanted a skylight over your mattress... right?" I sheepishly comment, slowly turning towards my angry friend once again.

Immediately she rushes towards me, hoof in the air. In a blurring speed, I see her hoof headed towards me, and I'm caught way too off-guard to even notice it until it's too late!

OH, SHIT! NOT AGAIN!

Author's Notes:

Don't worry, My Little Ponies! No Lyras were harmed in the making of this chapter... not too badly, at least.