Tempest Poppins
by Present Perfect

Part 4: Chim-Chim-Che-Wrecked

Dear Canterklaas,

All I want for Hearth's Warming this year is for my mommy and daddy to love each other again.

Sometimes, Mommy and Daddy fight, and it makes me really scared, but then they make up and everything's better. Last Hearts and Hooves Day, she told him she never wanted to see him again. She packed her little blue suitcase and said she was going to live with grandma. I thought that sounded fun (grandma always makes raspberry drop cookies when I come visit), but then mommy didn't come back.

Daddy says he and mommy are getting a "different force". I don't know what that is, but I wish they would take it back to the store. Mommy only comes over to pack more stuff in her suitcase, and just after Nightmare Night, she had some moving ponies come and take dressers and bookcases and the mattress. Daddy sleeps on a cot now.

I love my daddy, but he isn't good at cooking broccoli casserole like mommy is. I liked going out for take-out food for dinner every day at first, but I'm tired of it now.

I just want my mommy and daddy to stop fighting, and mommy to come home and stay with us, and tell me she loves me. I don't know what I did wrong, and I don't know why they don't love me anymore. (I promise I'll eat more peas if that helps.) Maybe if I tell you to give my toys to poor foals in need this year, it will make us a family again.

Please, please, please make us a family again.

Love,

Kettle Corn

Kettle sniffled as she put the letter in the fireplace. Usually, having a fire for Hearth's Warming meant fun times with her family. This year, it just made her sad. Their tree was scrawny and mostly bare. The fire was small and sickly, barely enough to burn her letter fully; that was the best way to make sure Canterklaas got letters.

"Kettle!" called her mother from the kitchen. "Would you come here a minute?"

Sighing, Kettle loped her way into the other room. Her mother had said she'd come home so they could spend some time together for Hearth's Warming Eve, but she'd just been boxing up books and yelling at her father the whole time. Kettle was glad her mother was at their house, but it still didn't feel like a home anymore. Her father was out getting dinner.

"Kettle." Her mother's blue eyes sparkled as she bent low, beckoning Kettle closer. "I wasn't sure whether I should do this now, but..." She sucked in a breath and gave Kettle a smile that made her stomach feel sick. "I want to give you your Hearth's Warming gift early."

That got Kettle's attention. Seeing her mother was one thing; early Hearth's Warming presents was rather another.

"What is it, Mommy?" she asked, rear legs prancing. "What is it, what is it?"

With a smile that didn't reach her eyes, her mother said, "You're going to come live with me and grandma now! Isn't that exciting?"

After a long pause where Kettle's prancing ceased and her ears gradually lowered, her mother added, "That way we can spend more time together! And... grandma said she'll make the cookies you love!"

An icy, poison feeling settled in Kettle's stomach. "But..." Her mouth was dry. "Is Daddy coming with us, too?"

Her mother's ears splayed. "No, honey. No." She gritted her teeth and all but growled, "I knew he was going to start putting ideas in your head."

Kettle's mother sat down, reaching out a leg to pull her daughter close. "Kettle, sweetie, the truth is..." She sighed. "Look, I know you love your dad, but he's really not good to be around. He's not as good with foals as I am. You'll get to come live with me, and I can raise you better! I promise."

"No!" Kettle shouted, pushing away from her mother. "I don't want to go away! I like it here! I want you to like it here too!" She began to cry. "I don't want you and daddy to stop loving each other! I don't want you to stop loving me!"

"Oh, sweetie." Her mother tried to hug her, but she backed away. "I won't stop loving you, I swear. I know change can be scary, but--"

The door opened with a tinkle of bells, and a stallion's voice cried, "I'm home!"

Kettle wiped at her snout and scrambled into the living room as her father dragged some heavy bags in behind him.

"S-see?" she cried, turning to her mother and pointing at her father. "He brought dinner home! We do need him!"

Her father scowled as her mother trotted into the living room. "What's this about not needing me? Key, are you filling our daughter's head with garbage again?"

Key Fob snorted. "No more than your garbage, Roadblock. And I thought you were getting pizza."

Roadblock rolled his eyes. "Pizza place was closed. Ling Shu's was open, though." He grinned at Kettle. "Who wants noodles?"

"Ugh!" Key Fob turned her back on him. "You know Cantoneighse doesn't agree with me! You're doing this on purpose, as usual!"

"Oh, come on, Key," Roadblock wheedled. "It's Hearth's Warming Eve, for crying out loud! Everything's closed except Cantoneighse!"

"You're just making excuses! You always do!"

"Excuses? Well, excuse me for not making restaurants be open on the biggest holiday of the year!"

"This is just like you!"

"Don't think I haven't forgotten that bit about not needing me. What've you been telling Kettle?"

Kettle Corn felt sick. She didn't make a sound, though tears streamed down her face. Her parents just kept shouting, louder and louder, and it was all her fault. There was nothing she could do to stop it.

"--irresponsible, narcissistic--"

"--your mother would--"

"SHUT UP."

Key Fob and Roadblock stopped shouting. They blinked at one another, then turned to their daughter. Kettle, shaking, her tears momentarily stemmed, pointed at the fireplace. All three of them turned to watch a large form, covered in soot, extricating itself from the extinguished fire.

"Whoof," said the shape, shaking itself, "they don't make chimneys like they used to."

"C-Canterklaas?" Kettle Corn squeaked. Judging by the lacey frock, wide-brimmed hat and broken horn, this probably was not Canterklaas, but she couldn't think of anything else to say. Her parents stared, open-mouthed.

"Sorry, kid," said the mare, shaking the last of the soot out of her hat and replacing it on her head. "Not him. But I did get your letter."

She turned a baleful gaze on Key Fob and Roadblock, who shrank away as though she might bite.

"Wh-who are you?" asked Roadblock, swiftly regaining his courage. "And what are you doing in my house?"

"I'm Tempest Shadow," said the mare, pulling herself up to her full, very impressive height. "And I'm here to fix what you broke." She pointedly looked at Roadblock, Key Fob and Kettle Corn in turn.

Key Fob's eyebrows shifted down. "Now wait a minute, who are you to break in here and try and tell us how to run our lives? I've half a mind to call the--"

She was cut off as lightning blasted out of Tempest's broken horn, swirling around the room, crashing into furniture, overturning packed boxes and knocking knickknacks off shelves. While her parents huddled together, Kettle Corn watched the ball of magic with amazement. At least, until it hit the tree and set it on fire. All three members of the family shrieked, and Kettle's mouth hung open in dismay.

"My card," said Tempest lowly. To Kettle, she whispered, "I'll fix the tree in a minute, promise."

"W-we'll get back together!" sobbed Roadblock, clinging to his soon-to-be-ex-wife.

"We'll do it for Kettle!" shouted Key Fob, in tears. "She deserves to be happy, right?"

"NO!"

Tempest stomped, knocking over a cabinet in the kitchen with the crash of shattering antiques. In the blink of an eye, she was nose-to-nose-to-nose with both cowering parents.

"If you two have actual, irreconcilable differences," she hissed, "then forcing you back together is just going to put you back into the same old cycle of recriminations, disharmony and breakup. I'm not here to fix relationships, I'm here to make sure a special little filly doesn't have to be sad on Hearth's Warming."

They all turned to look at Kettle Corn, who was watching the scene with a look of equal parts sadness, confusion and awe. She turned away from their stares.

"Do you have any idea what this divorce is doing to your daughter?" Tempest said, rising. "Why haven't you been talking to her?"

"M-my parents split when I was nine," said Key Fob lamely. "I got through it. I guess I never thought that Kettle might... have trouble."

"Good for you," said Tempest icily. Her eyes flicked over to Roadblock, who cleared his throat.

"I've been kind of... distracted."

One elegantly plucked eyebrow arched. A cold sweat ran through Roadblock's body as Tempest asked, "Distracted?"

"Y-y'know..." He swallowed. "Everything... It's making me feel like I failed, as a husband and a father. It reminds me of when I was dating Key and all my college buddies said she was out of my league."

Key Fob snorted. "They were right."

Tempest shot her a glare, and she wilted.

"Suck it up, buttercup," said Tempest. "You're the adult, you don't get to play the victim here. And you--" she hadn't taken her eyes off Key Fob-- "don't get to assume that your daughter is the same cold-hearted bitch you are.

"Starting now, you two include your daughter in the discussion about your households. You will be open and honest with her, because since neither of you is willing to talk to her, she is blaming herself for your divorce!"

The two ponies stopped their shaking, giving each other dejected looks. Ears back, they both gazed at the ground and listened intently to Tempest's words as she turned to Kettle Corn.

"There is no magic that will fix your parents' broken marriage," she said, not unkindly, though Kettle's ears drooped. Tempest reached down and lifted her chin with a hoof. "Instead, you have to help them be better ponies. In return, they will help you cope with the changes going on in your life. Because none of this is pleasant, and it certainly isn't fair, it just is."

Kettle smiled at Tempest, then at her parents, who, hesitantly, returned it. Then they smiled at each other, an unspoken relief washing over them that maybe, just maybe, despite all the pain and heartache, everything would turn out just f--

"AND ANOTHER THING!" Tempest roared, shocking them out of their moment. "If I ever catch wind that either of you have so much as sniffed a desire to turn your daughter's love and loyalty against your ex-spouse, I will personally introduce you to the flavor of your own dock. Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-yes, ma'am," said Roadblock.

Key Fob fainted.

Tempest regarded them with a look that could curdle milk.

"Kettle, I'm counting on you to tattle if anything goes wrong."

She turned her milk-curdling stare on the Hearth's Warming Tree, which shuddered, righted itself, and grew several feet taller. It filled out, not just with lusher pine needles, but with a full array of ornaments, baubles, tinsel, fake icicles, and proper Hearth's Warming Lights. The living room was positively aglow with holiday spirit.

Tempest gave Kettle a knowing grin. And then, laying a hoofsie aside of her nose, she left by the front door.

Because chimneys are just not made for going back up.

Author's Notes:

I hope this chapter did not dredge up any painful memories for any readers. D: I just wanted to show that the beatdowns do not always have to be physical. (Though Twilight's was, trust me.)

Trivia: This chapter originally starred Cozy Glow in the "filly I am going to be unnecessarily mean to" role, but then she showed up in a second episode, and I figured I should maaaybe not make this too dated. Thanks to Starlight Glimmer for "Canterklaas".