Tempest Poppins
by Present Perfect

Part 3: Supercalifragilisticexpiyouaredeadnow

"Purple Pen!"

Purple Pen jumped, her glasses falling onto the book she had been reading. Principal Princess Twilight Sparkle's disapproving stare was unmistakable even without them.

Pen had been so sure the Princess wouldn't find this hiding spot. But here they were, once again, tormentor and tormented, locked in mental combat.

Falling out of the tree onto her knees, Pen sobbed, "Please don't make me go back to school, Princessipal Twilight! Please, please, please, I hate it!"

"Now, now," Twilight said, spreading a soft, comforting wing over Pen's back, "there's no need to cry. You're at the School of Friendship, Purple Pen. You should be making friends, not spending all your time hiding away from other ponies just to read books!"

Twilight's laugh quickly turned sour. "Oh my god, I sound just like my mom. I mean Celestia."

Pen squinted up at Twilight through her tears. "But the other students don't like me! They make fun of me for talking about the stuff I read about!"

"Hmm." Twilight tapped a hoof against her chin. "I can think of a few friendship lessons that would help the other students learn to be better friends with their introverted peers."

Pen stared at her, aghast. "D-don't make me the focus! I'll never hear the end of it!"

"Come, come," Twilight said, levitating Pen's glasses over and pushing her with her wing, "you'll learn far more about friendship from interacting with other ponies than you will from reading a book. I should know!"

Pen shoved her glasses onto her face and stepped back outside of Twilight's wing. "I'm sorry, Principess Twilight," she said lowly, "but you leave me no choice."

With a spark of fuchsia magic, Pen produced a scrolled, tied with a blue ribbon, from her hiding place in the tree. Grunting, she cast a spell on it, and it disintegrated.

"Uh," said Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship. "What?"

"Come on, come on!" Pen danced on her hooftips. "Where is she?"

They both turned their eyes skyward as a sound like a train whistle grew steadily louder. From somewhere above them, a pony was parachuting in, for lack of a better term, from nowhere, holding an umbrella in one hoof and a pair of saddlebags in the other.

"--aaaaaAAAAAAAAH!" shouted Tempest Shadow as she hit the tarmac in front of Twilight in a superhero landing.

"Tempest!" Twilight cried, smiling. "It's so good to see you! What brings you here?"

Tempest drew herself up to her full height -- which, it must be stated, was quite a bit more than even this dinkiest of alicorns -- and stared down her nose at Twilight.

"I got a letter."

Her eyes flicked over to Purple Pen. Twilight's did the same.

"A letter, you say?" Twilight gave a nervous chuckle. "What kind of letter?"

"'Dear Princess Help Pony,'" Tempest intoned, her gaze locked on Twilight, "'I hate being at the School of Friendship because everypony makes fun of me and Principal Twilight won't never let me just sit and read quietly when I want to. Please help, signed, Purple Pen.'" Tempest's eyes bulged.

"Uh," said Twilight Princess. "Are you... Princess Help Pony?"

"I am now."

Twilight took a step back. "And... how exactly do you intend to help... pony?"

Purple Pen grinned. "Ooh, is it with violence? I heard Princess Help Pony always helps with violence!" Her tail wagged.

"Yeah." Tempest cracked all four hoof-knuckles. "Violence sounds good."

"B-but," butted Twilight, as her butt abutted the tree, "she'll be much better off down the line if she puts her books down and learns the value of friendship!" Even she had to admit it sounded like a lame excuse.

Tempest hella flexed. She could have bench pressed Equestria. Twilight didn't know whether to be frightened or turned on.

"Do you miss reading as much as you used to?" Tempest brought her face right up next to Twilight's. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut.

"I totally do," she whispered.

"All right, then." Tempest breathed hotly onto Twilight's face.

"This friendship thing was a mistake," said Twilight.

Author's Notes:

Not even Princess Twilight Sparkle is immune to punchings. Can you tell I was just naming foals by whatever was laying around? :V

Major thanks to famous author King of Beggars for the idea for this chapter, including the final line. :)