You find yourself, once again, walking through Ponyville with literally nothing to do. You'd think that with war just on the horizon there'd be something that needs doing, but apparently you'd be thinking wrong. The ponies themselves are going about their lives as best they can under the circumstances, which seems to be surprisingly well. There's a general air of quiet anxiety, but for the most part they just act like they do every day.

Your path takes you through the Ponyville market where you see ponies selling all kinds of pony stuff. You notice Applejack at one stand selling apples, The Doctor selling watches and hourglasses, wait, do ponies actually use hourglasses? Given they're some really fucking nice looking hourglasses, but still.

You return a few happy waves and end up passing through and out of the market. A little ways down the road you freeze, overcome by a feeling of utter... wrongness coupled with a mad desire to activate your raptor pack and never look back. You manage to shake it off, but there’s still an intense feeling of foreboding. And you swear the Chaos Gods are screaming in your ear for you to run.

You turn around to see what indescribable Warp horror must be bearing down on you. There is nothing. You look left, you look right, there is nothing. There’re three little fillies sitting a ways down the road looking in your direction, but other than that nothing.

You turn back around and keep walking, wondering what that was all about. You absently just chalk it up to pre-battle jitters and completely ignore the fact that you don’t get those.

But suddenly heart stopping terror roots you in place yet again. You turn around to face whatever the threat was, regardless of how the Warp screamed in your mind not to, and once again, nothing. But those fillies look like they got closer. Shrugging it off, you continue on your way.

After walking a little way you look back over your shoulder out of idle curiosity. The fillies seem to have gotten closer again, but they’re not moving at all. They’re just sitting there. You start walking a little faster.

Panic starts rising in your chest for seemingly no reason and you whirl around. They’re half their original distance from you. And they’re still just sitting there. You turn back around and walk as swiftly as you can without breaking into a run. You stop suddenly and whirl around, trying to catch them moving. They’re less than twenty feet away now. Just sitting there.

You turn back around an- HOLY SHIT THEY’RE RIGHT FUCKING THERE! You look down at the three little fillies staring up at you, eyes full of wonder.

HNNNNNNG, THEY’RE SO TINY AND ADORABLE! And yet you want nothing more than to run away from them as fast as you can.

You slowly turn around and- HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS?

”... Hello?”

Their faces light up as you speak and you swear you hear the Chaos Gods yell something in your ears. It sounds vaguely like “YOU DUN GOOFED!”

”Ah told ya he was real!” says the yellow one wearing an adorable bow in her mane. “Mah sister told me all about ‘im!”

”His costume’s nice.” the little white unicorn says.

”Yeah but you said he could fly!” says the orange pegasus. “How’s he fly without any wings?”

”I AM standing right here, you know.” you say.

"So yer name's Anonymous, right?" the yellow one asks.

"... Yes?" you answer hesitantly.

"Howdy! Ah'm Applebloom, Applejack's mah sister."

"And I'm Sweetie Belle, I'm Rarity's sister." the little unicorn says.

You look at the little orange pegasus. "Let me guess, you're Rainbow Dash's sister?"

She gets a wistful look in her eyes. "Oh man, I wish..."

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle roll their eyes at her behavior.

"Don't mahnd Scootaloo." Applebloom says.

"Yeah, she's obsessed." Sweetie Belle agrees.

”Uhhh...” is all you can manage.

”So mister, we were wondering if maybe you could help us get our cutie marks?” Sweetie says.

”Your... your what?” Everything about that whole sentence was completely wrong.

”It’s a mark on yer flank that shows your special talent!” Applebloom explains. That's not a whole lot better than what you were thinking.

”How do you normally get one?” you ask.

”You have to find what you’re good at!” says Scootaloo.

”Then why not try that?”

”We’ve already tried everything!” Sweetie Belle complains.

”I’m not exactly sure how I can help you then.” you say.

”Well yer an alien right? You’ve probly got somethin' we haven’t trahd yet!” says Applebloom.

”What about that Chaos stuff? Could that help us get our cutie marks?” Scootaloo asks. Except nope. You are not converting fillies to Chaos. Not gonna happen.

”Sorry, you have to be a human to worship Chaos.” you say. Not exactly a lie. It’s just that everything else either had their own gods or hated Chaos too much to be bothered.

”What about Discord? He wasn’t human and he was the KING of Chaos!” Holy shit. Right in the jimmies.

You laugh. “No. This Discord guy I keep hearing about is NOT the king of Chaos.”

”Well whah don’t ya tell us more about Chaos so we know?” Applebloom suggests.

”Hah hah. No. I don’t think that will be happening.”

”Aw come on! You told Rainbow and her friends about it!” Scootaloo complains.

”Because Rainbow and her friends aren’t impressionable little fillies.”

They just stare at you.

”Because some of them aren’t impressionable little fillies.”

They keep staring.

”Because I like to hear myself talk.”

”Well then talk ta us!”

”Yeah! Can Chaos make me fly?”

”Can it make me finally good at magic?”

Okay no. Celestia had tolerated your flank spanks, but you’re pretty sure that teaching these little fillies about Chaos would be crossing the line. A line which flank spanking evidently did not cross. You wonder where exactly said line might actually b- NO, SEXY PONY PRINCESS LATER, DEAL WITH HERETICAL FILLIES NOW

”Well, you see girls, Chaos is like-” -WHOOSH!- You soar above Ponyville, almost feeling bad for ditching them like you did. But hey, they gotta find their own way, can’t hold their ha- hooves their whole lives.

”Woah this is awesome! So this is how you fly?” You look over your shoulder to see Scootaloo hanging off your pauldron. Sweet Slaanesh, how did she do that?

”Aw man, if this is what Chaos is all about you can sign me right up!”

”No! Chaos is not for little fillies!”

”Aw, come on!”

You scramble for a way to ditch the little filly hanging from your armor. You spot a familiar cloud formation and get an idea that might just be crazy enough to work. You angle yourself towards it and cut your engines.

---

You are Rainbow Dash and you’re just spending a lazy day on the couch watching movies. You briefly wonder what Anon might be up to. Maybe he’d wanna get a few rounds of cider later? You kind of regret not spending more time with him since he arrived, he seemed like a pretty cool guy. A pretty cool guy with a huge d-

Your thoughts are interrupted by the familiar whining of thrusters. Is Anon coming to pay you a visit? You’re not sure why, but you feel a little giddy at the prospect of him coming to your home.But before you can think anything else Anon plummets through your ceiling.

”ITHINKIHAVESOMETHINGTHATBELONGSTOYOUI’LLPAYYOUBACKLATERKTHXBAI!” And then he passes through the floor and is gone. Your wings droop a little when you realize he’s not actually coming to visit. But what was that he said? Something that belongs to-

”OH MY GOSH, HI RAINBOW DASH!” You look down to see a little orange pegasus filly beaming up at you in awe. Oh Celestia no.

---

You are Anonymous and that certainly solves one problem. You reactivate your raptor pack and alight gracefully on the ground. Well, as gracefully as someone in full power armor can. So only a small crater this time.

Heretical fillies averted, you decide to stroll back into town and look for something to do. Because why should impending war mean there’s stuff to do? Maybe you could go see Vinyl?

Sure, why not? She’s probably got something to do. And if not then you can just do her. Heyo! A few quick bursts from your raptor pack and you’re in front of Vinyl’s house. You give the door a quick knock and wait. After a few moments the door opens and you’re nearly knocked off your feet by the sudden assault of wubs. A tired Octavia emerges wearing a purple bathrobe holding a glass of orange juice. You’re not exactly sure why but her face turns a little red when she sees you.

”O-oh, hello Anon. C-come on in.” Well that’s weird. She wasn’t like that last time.

You enter the house and come face to face with the most adorable sight you’ve ever encountered. Vinyl’s standing in the kitchen next to a huge speaker that was rocking the house with the wubs it was emitting, bobbing her head to the beat and wearing a little apron that said “Wub the cook.” She looks lost in her own little world.

”What’s she doing?” you ask. Though you have to practically scream to be heard over the bass.

Octavia stares at Vinyl with the least amused expression you’ve ever seen.

”She’s cleaning the dishes.”

”How? There’s no dishwasher.”

Octavia sighs and puts a hoof to her face in frustration.

”She cleans them with wubs.”

Fucking GENIUS.

”She won’t be done for a while, care to come up to my room until she’s done?”

”Sure, why not?”

She leads you up the stairs to her room. She closes the door and immediately the wubs decrease in intensity. She plops down on a sofa and you take a seat on the floor as you want to refrain from destroying any of her furniture. An errant wub takes this opportunity to shatter Octavia’s glass of juice. She leans back and lets out a frustrated groan.

”I was going to be first chair cellist in the Royal Canterlot Symphony. How is this my life?”

You knew that feel. Hoo boy did you know that feel.

”You play the cello?” you ask.

”Mhm.” she hums, distractedly. “It’s my special talent.”

”Really? I happen to be a musician myself.” you say.

She fixes you with a flat stare. “Yes, I’ve heard your, eh... music.”

You wave her off. “No, not that. I used to be a real musician. I played the violin in my younger days.”

She sits up a little, looking genuinely interested. ”Really? I love violinists! Er, I mean, I love the violin. Yes.”

”Well I don’t mean to brag, but back before the Heresy I was quite a patron of the finer arts. All of the Emperor’s Children were warriors without equal, but Fulgrim believed that without culture to raise us up we were little better than the xenos we destroyed. So when not in combat we strove to better ourselves in ways other than warfare. After all, the end of our struggle was in sight and we Astartes would not be fighting for much longer. We had to learn to fit in with the rest of humanity when we no longer had to be conquerors, but simply humans again.”

She just looks at you for a little bit. “Well it seems I misjudged you, Anonymous. And here I thought you were just another crass DJ.”

You remove your helmet and grin at her. “Can I not be both?”

She chuckles. “I do suppose.”

She hesitates for a moment and a blush tinges her cheeks. “Do you... do you think you could play a song for me?” she asks.

You smile. It had been a very, very long time since anyone had asked that of you.

You reach into your belt pouch and withdraw a small cube.

”What’s that?” Octavia asks.

”Oh just a little something I stole from a haemonculus once. It’s called an Archangel of Pain. There used to be a tortured daemon in here, but after I set it free I figured I could just store stuff in here.”

You thumb a glowing rune on the cube and it opens up, a violin emerging from it.

”Sit right on back, Octy. I’ve got something I’m sure you’ll love.

It had been nearly ten thousand years since you played, but the second you draw your bow across the strings it all comes flowing back. After a little while you settle into a comforting rhythm. You close your eyes and let the old song come back to you, making yourself but a vessel for the music. Through the music you hear Octavia’s heart begin to beat a little faster and her breathing speed up.

Seems like she was really enjoying this. Hey, what can you say? The ladies really love a man who knows his music.

You smile to yourself as you progress with the song, it had always been one of your favorites. However you had made a few personal changes to it. You thought it was an improvement. You feel your armor’s vox systems begin to warm up while the war spirit practically purred with delight. Power begins to cycle through your pauldron vox amps. Under your careful ministrations even power armor is an instrument.

You draw your bow across your violin and briefly pause. Without warning your armor’s vox systems come alive and add the sounds of a medley of other instruments to your song.

The sudden blast of music startles Octavia at first, but she gets over her shock quickly and you can tell she’s beginning to really enjoy herself. You are too. It's been so long since last you’d played your violin.

Millennia ago it once adorned the left pauldron of your terminator wargear, held in place by a brilliant gold chain that had been handmade by your brother in Ferrus Manus’s Morlock terminator guard, back in the days when you served Fulgrim in the second Phoenix Guard.

But after the events of Istvaan when you struck down the very brother who made that chain you never donned the armor of the Phoenecian’s protectors again. A man who could slay his own brother so nonchalantly needed no protecting.

The song finally finishes, but you feel like it had only just begun. You come out of your little trance and open your eyes to see a wide-eyed, heavily blushing Octavia.

”You like?” you ask.

Words escape her for a few moments, but the ability to speak returns soon. ”Anonymous, that was simply amazing! I had no idea you were so talented!”

”Right? You’d never think it by just looking at me, but I can be one classy fucker when I feel like it.”

She chuckles. “That certainly is one way of putting it.”

You’re both silent for a moment and suddenly an idea comes to you.

”Would you like to play a piece together?” you ask her.

Her eyes widen and her blush intensifies. “Together? Really? I mean, um, of course, I’d love to! I haven’t done a duet with a violinist since that last stallion Vinyl tried to set me up with...” she shudders. ”So yes, I’d love to!”

She tosses her robe into a corner and goes into her closet to retrieve her cello. She comes back and stands her instrument up, taking a moment to tune it.

”So what would you like to play?” she asks.

”Well I’m probably not familiar with any songs from this world, so how about we just wing it?”

She smiles. “I suppose I can handle that.”

You smile back. ”Well then just follow my lead.”

You draw your bow across your violin and she follows after.

---

You are Vinyl Scratch and you are a bucking genius. This Basswasher is, without doubt, the greatest idea you’d ever had. It cleaned dishes down to a microscopic level and totally cut back on your water bill. The rinse cycle finishes and you open up the machine to inspect the dishes inside. Hah! Spotless!

You turn around to gloat to Octy but she’s nowhere in sight. You notice music coming from upstairs. Huh, she must’ve snuck off to practice. Wait, hold on a second, that’s not just Octy playing. Your trained musician’s ear picks out the sounds of another instrument playing in tandem with Octavia’s cello. Is that a violin? Oh man, did she invite that violinist guy back over? Hah! You knew he was a cool guy!

You trot upstairs to take a peek in Octy’s room to see what’s up. You crack the door open and the sight that greets you is not one you were expecting at all. Octavia’s playing her cello in a duet with... Anon?

You’ve really got no idea what to make of this. Since when did Anon play the violin? And how the buck did he manage to walk right in the front door without you noticing? That last one really through you for a loop.

Either way, you smile as you watch the two play, seems like Octy took your suggestion after all. You notice the slight blush tinging her cheeks as they play and you get an idea. You resolve to sit back and wait for them to finish their song.

After a few moments they finish up, both looking very satisfied and you take this opportunity to burst into the room. ”Hey guys!”

”Vinyl! Haven’t you ever heard of knocking?” Octavia scolds.

”Well yeah, but if I knock then I can’t catch you two doing anything naughty.”

Octavia blushes and sputters incoherently while Anon just snickers like a school colt.

”So what’s up Vinyl? Come to make our duet a trio?” Anon asks with a wink.

”Hmm, tempting, but maybe later. I was actually wondering if you wanted to maybe go out on a date tonight.”

”A whatnow?”

”A date. You know, when a mare and a stallion go out and do stuff together?”

”Oh right, those are a thing aren’t they?”

”Yeah, I know this great place in Canterlot we could go to.”

”Boy, looming war sure does not put a damper on you ponies, does it?”

You shrug. “Way I see it, we could all be dead the day after tomorrow. Why not live it up?”

”It’s as though Slaanesh speaks through you.” Anon remarks. “I’d love to.”

You see Octavia looking at the floor, more than a little sadly and you grin.

”Hey, chin up, Octy. You’re invited too.” Her head snaps up and the blush returns.

Anon thrusts his hands into the air. “The mares have been doubled!” he yells.

---

You are Anonymous and really. What the fuck is a date? You agreed to meet her at around five, so you had about five hours to figure out what the fuck was going on. Rarity was classy. Maybe she knew what a date was? Worth a shot.

You head over to Carousel Boutique and decide to give it a shot. You knock on the door and are greeted by Rarity.

”Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is- Anon! Oh hello darling, do come in!”

You duck into her house and take a quick look around. The quality of the decor reinforces your belief that Rarity was definitely the right pony to go to. Rarity herds you over to her living room and drops down onto her chaise. Again, you opt to just sit on the floor.

”Now tell me, darling, whatever brought you here?”

”Well Vinyl invited me out on a... date? The problem is I have no idea what that is.”

Rarity gasps dramatically.

”Oh well then you certainly came to the right place, Anonymous!”

Oh thank Slaanesh.

”Oh, I’ll have to make you a new suit and everything!”

What?

”Now tell me, where exactly are you going on your date?”

”Um... well she said there was a nice place in Canterlot that-”

You’re cut off as Rarity emits the most intense squeal you’ve ever heard. ”Oh my, Canterlot? Oh this changes everything! Here, I have the perfect suit for you!”

”And you just had this lying around?” you ask incredulously.

”Why whatever do you mean?”

”Are you trying to tell me you had a suit tailor made for a Space Marine just lying around?”

”Um, well... yes?”

You stare at her for a moment. ”Alright, sure. Why not?”

Rarity sighs with relief. You’re not exactly sure why.

”Now you’re sure this is what one wears to a date? Doesn’t it seem a little... I dunno, formal?”

”Well of course it’s formal! You’re going to be in Canterlot, dear! You have to look your best!”

”Are you sure? I didn’t think Vinyl would want to go anywhere so... fancy.”

”Oh nonsense, darling! All girls have have that desire for a romantic evening in Canterlot, I’m sure Vinyl’s no different.”

”But it just doesn’t seem like her.” you protest.

”Oh come now, I’m sure you’re just nervous, is all. You may be a Space Marine, but there are problems in the galaxy that you can’t solve with a sword or a gun. Sometimes you need class.”

That was... oddly insightful.

”Oh, and don’t forget a bouquet! Mares LOVE bouquets!”

”But I don’t have any money.”

”Oh that’s no problem!” Rarity levitates a bulging pouch of bits over to you and sets it in your hands.

”Are you sure? I can’t pay you back.”

”Oh darling, think nothing of it!”

”Are you sure?”

”Oh certainly. Just look around, darling. I’m loaded!” You look around the boutique and, sure enough, pretty much everything is covered in gems.

”Well if you’re sure...” Gods damnit, where was this conscience coming from all of a sudden?

”Like I said, think nothing of it! And I’m sure I can count saving Equestria from evil aliens as ample payment.”

You smile. These ponies. These fucking ponies.

”Thank you, Rarity. I swear to you that come the battle, I’m gonna save the FUCK out of Equestria.”

She giggles. “I’m sure you will. Now run along, don’t keep your mare waiting!”

”Mares.” you say.

”Oh?”

”Yeah, Vinyl invited Octavia along for the date as well.”

”Oh my! How risqué! Well I wish you luck with your mareS then.” she says, putting emphasis on the plural.

”Thanks again, Rarity. I’ll not be forgetting this, I assure you.”

She waves a goodbye to you and you return it as you leave the boutique. Now where the fuck were you going to find a bouquet? You decide to try the market and see if there’re any flower stands open.

As you navigate the streets of Ponyville yet again you’re greeted by a familiar voice.

”My oh my, look at you all dressed up!”

A brown earth pony trots up to your side.

”Hey Doc-”

”AH!”

”Sorry, Time Turner.”

”So, what’re you all dressed up for? Big night on the town?”

”Indeed, my friend. Vinyl and Octavia invited me out on something called a date.”

”Oh dear goodness, two mares? You’re playing a dangerous game here, my friend.”

”Oh? Do dates normally involve fewer than two mares?”

”Do you not know what a date is?”

”Nope.”

The Doctor chuckles. “Oh, oh dear goodness. That’s simply hilarious!”

”Glad to see my predicament is brightening someone’s day.”

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?”

”Well Rarity told me mares like bouquets. Know where I can get one?”

”Just one? Oh my, if you’re going to be taking out two mares you’ll want two bouquets.”

”This is complicated.”

”Well get used to it, my friend. It only gets worse! Mares are the most complicated things in the galaxy! I know!”

”Bouquets?”

”Oh, right, sorry. Got a little carried away there, didn’t I? Anyways, yes, bouquets. There’s a flower stand in the market that I’m sure will suit you just right run by the flower sisters; Roseluck, Daisy, and Lily.”

”So what exactly do I do?” you ask.

”You know, if you just give me the bits I can go get the bouquets for you. The flower sisters and I know each other *ahem* quite well.”

You hold out the pouch of bits Rarity gave you and drop it into The Doctor’s waiting hoof.

”You’re a real brother, Do-”

”AH!”

”Ugh. Time Turner.”

He chuckles. “Can’t have you exposing me now, can I? And think nothing of it!”

---

Where in the infinite hells of the Warp WAS that fucking pony? A few more minutes pass and, as you’re about to storm into the market to look for him, an extremely satisfied looking Doctor comes trotting out of the market toting two of the most colossal bouquets you’ve ever seen, each comprised of flowers of damned near every color of the rainbow.

”Where the WARP have you been?” you demand.

”Heh heh, sorry. The flower sisters had, um, -important- business to discuss with me. Heh heh.” You notice a few poorly cleaned lipstick smudges adorning his face and roll your eyes.

”Right. Thanks for the bouquets. I’d best be off now, gotta meet them in half an hour.” You take the flowers from The Doctor and move to leave.

”Oh wait! One more thing.” The Doctor tosses you the pouch of coins not missing even a bit.

”How did you-”

"I told you, chap. We’re very good friends.”

You grin and hold out a fist to him.

Surprisingly, he knows exactly what to do and bumps his hoof against your fist.

”Go get ‘em, Anon!”

”Allons-y!” you exclaim.

”Now hang on just a moment, that’s my line!”

”Well now it’s mine!” you yell back as you rush off to Vinyl and Octavia’s house.

---

You knock on the door to Vinyl and Octavia’s house, nervously straightening the tie on your suit. Why the fuck are you nervous? You sieged the palace of the Emperor! You fought the Behemoth, the Kraken, and the Leviathan! You kicked over so many of Tzeentch’s sandcastles that his own vizir had cursed you! You stormed Cammorragh, for Chaos’s sake! Why in the name of the Ruinous Powers were you nervous about going out with two mares?

Looks like The Doctor may have been right after all. You hear the door open followed by Vinyl’s voice.

”Hey Anon- wow. Hey, you somewhere in there, Anon?”

”I was told mares enjoy flowers?” you say hesitantly.

”Well you were told right! Hey Octy, get out here, Anon brought us flowers!”

You hear approaching hoofsteps. Fuck these bouquets were fucking huge.

”Oh my! Wow, Anonymous, you certainly know how to treat a mare.” you hear Octavia say.

The bouquets are enveloped in an azure aura of magic and you let go of them as Vinyl takes the form you. You’re finally able to see Vinyl and Octavia. They look... Absolutely normal. They’re not dressed up or anything.

Vinyl notices the suit you’re wearing. She starts to snicker. Which turns into giggling. Which turns into full on laughter.

”BAHAHAHAHA! Oh man, Anon, what on earth are you wearing!”

GODS DAMNIT RARITY!

”Oh stop it, Vinyl. I think he looks rather dashing.”

”You look like a tool!” she says, amidst her laughter.

”Rarity told me this was how one dressed when going on a date to Canterlot.” you explain.

Vinyl finally calms down. “Yeah, I’ll bet she did. But don’t worry, we’re not going to a fancy restaurant or anything, you can ditch that if you want to."

OH THANK SLAANESH! You grab hold of the front of your suit and promptly tear it off, revealing your full set of power armor underneath.

Vinyl and Octavia just stare at you.

”How did-”

”That’s not-”

”But you-

”HOW?”

”Not important!” you say. “We date nao!”

Vinyl just laughs. “Alright, Anon. Let’s get to the train station, we’ve only got twenty minutes till the train leaves.”

The three of you head out into Ponyville and you decide to try and make small talk.

”So where exactly are we going?” you ask.

”Mmfrrgle!”

What? You turn around to see Vinyl with a mouth full of flowers and a huge bite taken out of the bouquet you gave her. Octavia is munching away on hers as well. What the f- Oh right. They’re ponies. Ponies eat flowers.

She swallows the bite. “It’s a night club I DJ at occasionally. It’s a pretty fun place. I’m sure you’ll love it, Anon.”

Octavia nods in agreement. “She’s even managed to get me in there before. It is indeed fun."

Everything they said was pretty irrelevant, honestly. You’d been hooked at “night club.” The three of you arrive at the train station and it’s not too long before you’re on your way to Canterlot, Vinyl and Octavia munching on their bouquets like giant cotton candies the whole way.

---

You finally arrive in Canterlot at around nine o’clock. The sun has gone down and the moon is high in the sky and you have no idea how, but the two ponies with you each ate a bouquet as big as they are. Fucking ponies, man.

”You ready for the greatest night of your life, Anon?” Vinyl says.

”We shall see if you ponies can compete with the great raves of the Slaaneshi.”

Vinyl smirks. “I think we might be able to surprise you.”

You smirk back. “Like I said, we shall see.”

Octavia just sighs.

The three of you take your time walking through the fortunately empty streets of Canterlot. It really was a magnificent city.

”Why’re the streets so empty?” you ask.

”Well most ponies are pretty strictly diurnal and prefer to be in bed when the sun goes down.” Octavia explains.

”Oh wow. That’s INCREDIBLY boring.”

”Well there’re still ponies like us who love the nightlife. It’s just that the vast majority live like that.” Vinyl says.

"Well I pity them.” you say.

”Me too, man. Me too.” Vinyl agrees.

You follow Vinyl deeper into Canterlot, leaving behind the pristine streets of the upper levels and descending into the less reputable parts of the city.

”So what’s this club you’re taking us to?” you ask.

”The greatest night club in all of Canterlot of course!”

”Not as specific as I was hoping.”

”It’s called The Red Saddle.” Octavia says helpfully.

”Hoo boy. Sounds fun.”

"I DJ here every once in awhile. Trust me when I tell you that it’s fun.”

You look to Octavia for confirmation.

”I suppose it’s pretty fun. Not something I care to do too often but I admit every once in awhile a good party is just what I need.”

”Bah. Every day’s a party with Chaos.” you say.

”Well I guarantee you’ve never partied like ponies party.”

”Then you clearly don’t know Chaos.”

”Well maybe you just don’t know ponies.”

”Girls, please. You’re both VERY pretty, I assure you.” Octavia interjects.

”You’re damned right, I am.” you shoot back. “I’ll thank you to take note of my girlish figure.”

Vinyl and Octavia both laugh at the comment.

”Oh hey, here we are!” Vinyl says, pointing to a building with a colossal line of poines waiting to get in.

”Oh my, looks like quite a wait.” Octavia remarks.

”Eugh.” you groan.

”Guys, guys, remember who you’re with! Just chill, I got this.” Vinyl says.

You and Octavia follow behind Vinyl as she struts right to the head of the line to the two burly stallions standing at the doors. One of them brightens noticeably when he catches sight of Vinyl. The other just stands there. You wonder if he can even move with all those muscles.

”Hey Vinyl. These two with you?”

”Sure are.” she says.

”Cool, head right on in. Oh, and you picked a great night to come. We got a guest DJ tonight.”

”Oh yeah? Anypony I know?”

He shrugs. “Might be, you’ll have to find out for yourself.

”Pfft, fine, be that way.” she says, with a smile.

He smiles back. “Well maybe I will then. Have a good one, Vinyl.”

Your eyes narrow and you suddenly feel an intense hatred for this pony. You’re not entirely sure why. You follow Vinyl into the club and the three of you are immediately deafened by the volume of the music. Out of the corner of your eye you catch Octavia smirking at you.

”Oh my goodness, you’re jealous aren’t you?” she says, just enough above the music for you to hear but not Vinyl.

What? Pfft, no. Of course you weren’t jealous. You just wanted to pummel that stallion into the pavement for sounding so familiar with Vinyl. Two completely different and unrelated things.

”Of course not. Astartes are above such foolishness.”

Her smirk only grows at your words.

”... Maybe a little.”

The three of you step into the club proper and you have to say, Vinyl really knows how to pick her clubs. The entire room is blacklit, just about everypony is wearing some kind of glowstick accessory, and the music is nearly deafening. Just like back home in the Eye.

”Hey!” Vinyl yells to get your attention. “You guys wait here. I’m gonna go get us some drinks!”

You and Octavia nod your assent to her and she trots off towards the bar.

”My oh my, you certainly are quite taken with her, aren’t you?” Octavia remarks.

”She certainly is... unique. I’ve not met a female like her in ten thousand years.” you say.

”Oh? And what is it about her that you find so appealing?”

”She exemplifies everything I believe. It’s as though she’s a gift from Slaanesh himself. And her taste in music is perfect.”

”It would seem you two were made for each other then.” she remarks.

”Well after today I think I’ve found myself rather taken with you as well.” you say casually.

While you appear to be surveying the club, you’re actually keeping your full attention on Octavia out of the corner of your eye. In your periphery you notice her blush quite profusely at your words.

”P-pardon?”

”Vinyl is my present. Wild, reckless, impulsive, passionate. But you remind me greatly of what I used to be. You make me remember everything good about my past. Elegant, sophisticated, classy, tasteful.”

You turn to her with a smile. “I dare say I would be hard pressed to choose just one.” you say.

Octavia blushes and mumbles something.

”Come again?”

”Vinyl... might have mentioned... something... about sharing.” she said, her voice growing smaller and smaller with each word.

”Well it’s good that that’s settled then!” you say.

Octavia smiles too, still blushing. The two of you fall into a comfortable silence as you wait for Vinyl. Well, as close as you can get to silence with the earth shaking noise.

”So which one of us gets you first?”

Octavia sputters incoherently for a moment. ”What?” she all but yells.

”Well you said Vinyl was fine with sharing, right? Which one of us gets you first?”

”I- but she- I didn’t- not sharing ME!” she finally musters

You suppress a grin. You know exactly what you're doing.

”Oh, my apologies. We’re sharing Vinyl then? Would you like her first or second? If you choose second I cannot guarantee she’ll have much energy left for you, I’m afraid.”

”Sharing YOU! Sharing you!”

Now it’s your turn to smirk ”Oh yeah, I know. I’m just fuckin’ with ya.”

Her face turns completely red.

”Oh you... you...” When it looks like she’s about to burst she immediately deflates and smiles at you.

”I think I’m rather going to like you.” she says.

”Likewise.” you say with a grin.

”Hey, you two been gettin’ cosy while I was gone?”

You turn to see Vinyl come trotting up with three drinks suspended in her magic You reach out and pluck one from the aura.

”Ah yes, something about sharing I believe.”

”Oh Octy ran that by you? Awesome.”

Octavia takes her own drink and sips it. ”It’s amazing how nonchalant you’re being about this, Vinyl. Most mares would be furious at the prospect of sharing a stallion.”

You raise an eyebrow at her.

”Oh, eh, I mean man.” she corrects herself.

”Better.” you say.

”Holy crap, Anon. Did you already finish that?” Vinyl asks in awe.

You look at your empty glass. ”It was alright. I mean it tasted good. Didn’t do anything for me though. I’m a Space Marine, we’re all but immune to poison, which alcohol technically is.”

”Well that’s not fun,” Vinyl pouts.

”Actually there’s a chapter of loyalists called the Space Wolves who found a poisonous plant that inhibits Astartes poison resistance and, instead of weaponizing it, they use it to brew the only ale in the galaxy that can get a Space Marine hammered, Chaos bless their souls.”

”So we’d have to poison you to get you drunk? Man, that’s no fun.” Vinyl complains.

”Hey, look at the bright side. That means more for you. And besides,” you say, pulling the sack of bits from your belt pouch. “Drinks are on me tonight.”

Chaos damn it, but that Doctor was a true brother. Vinyl’s eyes widen as she beholds the bulging sack of bits.

”You are, without doubt, the greatest guy I’ve ever dated.” she says.

”My oh my, flowers and drinks?” Octavia says. “Why if I didn’t know any better I’d say that you were just trying to get on our good side so you could have your way with us.”

”Trust me, I don’t need things like flowers or drinks to get into a girl’s pants. I’m quite a hit with the daemonettes, you know.”

Mostly because you just raped them. But hey, they were daemonettes. Rape happened to be their fetish. But if they liked it then technically it wouldn’t be rape then... But if it wasn’t really rape and they liked it did that mean rape WASN’T their fetish? Holy shit this was some serious philosophical shit. Nope! Not dealing with this tonight! Tonight was for partying!

”So the colt at the door said something about a guest DJ?” you say.

Vinyl shrugs. “Yeah, but I don’t have any clue who it might be.”

”Don’t you know all the popular DJ’s?”

”Well yeah, but I can’t think of any special enough they’d make this big a deal out of it. But whatever, we’ll find out when we find out. For now, let’s just dance!”

You could get behind that.

”You wanna come or just chill here, Octy?” Vinyl asks.

”Oh I don’t think I’m nearly drunk enough to go about making a fool of myself out there just yet. But give me a little bit and I’m sure I’ll join you.” she says.

You toss Octavia the bag of bits and she catches it in her hoof. ”Get as drunk as you want.” you tell her.

She chuckles. “Oh don’t worry about me. You two go have fun now, I’ll join you in a bit.”

You and Vinyl head out to the floor with all the dancing ponies. As the two of you make your way further onto the floor and more and more of the ponies notice you they all stop and stare at you in awe. Eventually the whole dance floor is just staring at the colossal metal monster in the middle of the floor. Hell, even the music stopped.

You idly cast your gaze over the assembled ponies. You unlock your helmet from your belt and leisurely place back over your head, the seals hissing as your suit pressurizes and quickly turn to face the DJ, who also happens to be gawking at you. You raise a hand and thrust a finger out at the DJ pony.

”DJ! The music is far too quiet! Drop that bass!”

The DJ grins. “Yeah! Now this alien’s speakin’ my language!

”YES! THINGS SHALL GET LOUD NOW!”

---

You’ve been dancing for a while, but it matters not to you. The sons of Slaanesh never tired on the dance floor! Your feet strike the ground in perfect time with the beat, your raptor talons kicking up showers of sparks with each shuffle. Various ponies around you all attempt to keep up or outdo you, but you pay them little mind. BECAUSE CHAOS SHUFFLES AT ITS OWN PACE!

”Now is the hour of shuffling! For this moment alone was I made! Look upon my dancing, mortals, and despair!”

One by one the ponies drop to the ground, exhausted.

”Fall before Anonymous! You have no hope!”

At last only Vinyl dances with you. Her eyes lock with your helmet’s eye lenses and the unspoken challenge passes between you. However, before the two of you can begin to dance in earnest the music ends. You and Vinyl cease your dancing and look around in equal parts confusion and agitation, shit was just gettin’ good, man!

The ponies around you start picking themselves up. Then a voice blares out across the club.

”And now, fillies and gentlecolts, the moment you’ve been waiting for! Our special guest DJ, DJ Darkside!”

You remove your helm and cock an eyebrow at Vinyl.

She shrugs in response. “Never heard of ‘em.”

A cloud of fog obscures the stage. A flash of light is seen within the fog which is then followed by a voice.

”GOOD EVENING, CANTERLOT! SHALST WE COMMENCE WITH THE RAISING OF THE ROOF?”

”Throne of the Corpse-Emperor,” you mutter.

”Is that who I think it is?” Vinyl asks incredulously.

The fog parts to reveal none other than Princess Luna at the turntables.

”By the Dark Gods, it is.”

”WE ARE AWARE THAT OUR ESTEEMED GUEST, ANONYMOUS, IS PRESENT HERE THIS EVE! WE WOULD LIKE TO PLAY OUR FIRST SONG OF THE NIGHT IN HIS HONOR!”

The club erupts into raucous cheering and shortly music starts playing. You jump as you hear your own voice blaring over the speakers. Holy crap. That was the wub battle between you and Vinyl from when you first came to Equestria.

And fuck, you sounded damned good. Vinyl puts a hoof to her chin in mock thought.

”Well at least she’s got a good taste in music. I’ve always liked the work these guys did."

You both share a laugh at that.

”So what now?” you ask.

”Woo! Outta my way, everypony! Octy’s BUCKED UP!”

You and Vinyl turn around at the sound of the voice to see a drunken Octavia dancing her way through the crowd. Well shit, she was actually pretty fucking good.

”Follow the leader, I guess.” Vinyl says.

”I can dig it.”

And so you danced.

Next Chapter: Revenge Be Mine Estimated time remaining: 1 Hour, 35 Minutes