12.1
So what made the difference this time?

Why?

We were so close for everything else. Dash was right there to step up for Soul when she needed her most. Soul accepted it. She loved it. All this time, she really did think their friendship had been that strong. Maybe… just another lie. Another in this life.

How many lies had she lived through? She tried to recall. If there were any times when she truly felt like things had been different. Did mom ever love me? She may have at some point. It sounded right, right? Moms love their kids. She may have loved me at some point, or she may have just done what all ponies do and lie to her. Why else would she abandon her? Like she was taught that she had some reason to her life. Was that true? I’m supposed to make… ponies happy, right? That’s what she was told. By those lips she vaguely remembered so long ago. To be there to make somepony smile.

That was it. For what greater thing could she ask for? All her life, everypony hurt her. She did think it would just be the right thing to do to just be there for another. As she had done with mom, who she tried so hard to please. As she did with Nimbus and Starry. Doing all they said and living up to their expectations up until that happened… that wonderful moment when Soul truly did learn what it was that life meant to her.

Her only goal left, even if it had been shattered. It still lived on inside her.
12.2
She looked out over it. The house she once thought herself to be safe at. Her home away from home, with the glowing rainbows laced all around its yards and the clouds surrounding it. Where lights flickered in the windows for she knew ponies were home. The ones she had thought were here family. No more.

No doubt, Dashie would not want to see me. After what we did. Soul looked down at her hooves. The same ones she had used to… to hurt her best friend. Pulling her down and hearing her wing snap. How terrible. Not the first time they had fought… but maybe this time, it was proof. Proof that… things just aren’t meant to be. Even if it did sting to think so… she found it so strange that it dulled over time.

Crying as she flew over here just to see if, maybe, she could just knock on that door and apologize. At the very least. For she couldn’t bear it. Bear that she had said the words that rang in her head, but not in her heart. You can still do what you need to do.

It had grown so much louder.

Huh. Like a pinprick in the back of her head. But for what reason to even think about it anymore? To think she could even try to gain the courage, because it wasn’t worth it. That is why she just hung there in the hailing snow above the houses where ponies stayed warm while she shivered. Not doing what she had wanted to. To go up and beg the ponies who left her behind to forgive her. For one reason.
12.3
Rainbow Dash doesn’t trust me. After everything I did for her. With a stare as cold as the air settling down upon the night sky. She could not see herself but she could tell her eyes must look so bad from how much they stung. How hard her entire body ached and her poor belly that rumbled. She doesn’t trust me. Wasn’t it what I did that helped her see it’s good to have friends? Or does she just not care.

Maybe I was right after all. Long ago, when I thought that terrible thought. The one that almost ended our friendship, and now it did. You can always prove her wrong. Ugh. Soul put a hoof to her forehead. It hurt. Right as a shiver went along her.

It was getting colder. The snow piling up on top of her head. Why? Why even prove her wrong? That’s… never been my goal. I always was wanting to be there to protect her. I promised to be there for her when she needs me most. Even if she won’t do the same for me. Guess I’m just too pathetic for her. For all the ponies that left me. Now another. Gone blank in her mind. But I am there for Rainbow. I won’t leave her. Because… she was the first pony who gave me so much happiness. I know if I knock on that door, they would kick me away. Rainbow Dash. Will there ever be a day you will forgive me? A day when things are back to normal.

I… I still love our dream. Like the pain had died away or… just used to it, she didn’t know. Only that her wings were still at her sides to flap free as the only thing left out here in the falling snow. She got colder and colder from hours of being out here. Gone from the warmth of friendly faces. She just couldn’t. There was no way she could go to knock on their door. I miss you, Dashie. But… you hate me. But I don’t hate you. Not at all. I really am stupid, but not stupid enough to not see that you… you are a pony I want to make happy. Forever. Because I care. Enough that she could still see herself holding that filly under a warm blanket again. Not tonight. As Soul wished for a warm bed. I only ever did have one home. Soul looked back over her shoulder and sighed. This is the only one time I’ve dreaded thinking about this.
12.4
Soul flew over the houses. On a familiar path. The one she took back from Dash’s often. Spotting all the same houses covered in snow. Candles flickering in windows. Lights glowing bright that they shone over the snowy front lawns through the windows. Where ponies enjoyed themselves together. Families. Friends. From a time where Soul had to pause and remember when she had that. Looking down over the houses and then going on. Just seeing them all, she didn’t feel any more pain. Just the ripping sting over her body.

She always loved flying over these parts. So often. Going to Dash’s or the store. Going to camp or just flying for free time or training. She never did know how precious those times were. Faded now. I’m all alone out here. As she left behind the one pony in the world she could still see herself able to fly with. Just a ringing inside that she had to do something for that pony. Even if she never forgives me, I can’t. She would not be able to live with herself knowing that she failed Dash. Fail her on top of making her hate me.

Soul sniffled and whimpered, flying off. Can life just be turned back? Even to change just one small mistake. Any mistake. As one thing pounded inside her that she didn’t want to feel. For it hurt. The only thing left that made her hurt inside anymore. Everypony left me. Nopony likes me. My life is ruined. But she couldn’t live with one thing. That it was her fault. Though… what Dashie had said. Made her think that… stop it. Just stop. Please.

None of it is your fault.

I know. I… I wish I knew! Just… shut up. All she wanted was herself to shut up. To get just one moment of peace. Peace in the most unlikely of places, the only home she had as she spotted it over the rooftops of the houses and flew into the fields of clouds where just one house sat out there. Her home.
12.5
Swooping over the same fields she always trained over. Where all was silent. All was dark. With just the glow of the rainbows among her house being the sole light of this place. Casting greens and blues. Reds and oranges. Yellows and violets all upon the lovely clouds set all around. Dotting the walkways in colorful spots and shimmering within the waterfalls that plummeted upon the tiny rivers flowing around the yard.

A dark house. A silent house. Even though so much has changed, its beauty did not. Like nothing happened. It still sitting there as a beacon to the last pony left that this home welcomed. Didn’t look like anypony was home. Probably left the same way she had left it. Though… she had her hopes as she had flown in that maybe it was all a dream. That she would see the lights and proof that Nimbus and Starry, her loved ones, had never left. Not to be.

Though her spirits could not fall anymore. Why bother being sad? Not like they can be here to help me. I couldn’t help them. All she did was take and take from them, that went so far for her. I’m done begging for help. I’m just done. There were no ponies left to help her. None to go to. May as well come back here. The one place left where she could at least be warm.
12.6
Not using the front door. Soul actually went over. Flying to the back and hovering right over where her window was. Shades wide open, she saw her bed in there. With its thick blankets and comfy pillows. A little sense of calm to see one piece of her life was here. Even more pleased when she was able to pull the window open for her to float on in with the snow flurrying in after her and a cool chill brushing over her rear right before she could even close the window. Back into the warmth of a home to her. Like her first ever embrace today while she turned back and looked over it all.

Nope, her room had not changed at all. Not since last night. When… she spotted her door left open. When…. Nimbus took me to bed. Even left her bed a mess from a filly eagerly kicking off her blankets to rush after the mare. She still heard her hooves galloping after just as her hooves plopped down upon the floor once more. Silence.

The one noise that rang out so softly before she stood still with her ears up. Listening and that made her sad because she did hear it all. All which was nothing. When this house… it used to be so alive. Yet she was the only one to give it any love any more. But she knew, could tell, she was alone. Alone in a still and silent house. The one that had kept her safe and warm for so many years now. Giving it to her one last time, just for coming back. Her shivering stopped.
12.7
What time even was it? Time for bed? No Nimbus here to tuck me in. To wish me good night. Though she had no doubt she could pass out as soon as she hit the bed with how badly her eyes stung and her body ached, she didn’t even think of doing so. Just walking along on the tips of her hooves, to set one upon the door and gently close it with nary a sound.

Safe in her room. One she looked back at. So weird. So very weird to look out upon it and wonder what would it be like tonight, tonight if Nimbus was here for her? How today could have been. Just a dream now. A dream. But life was always the true pain to her. Inside this room where she had nothing left for herself. Just a thought… one for Dashie. A thought of seeing that cyan filly smile. Can I smile with her? Together.

She cringed. No. Looking upon her room with her eyes pulsing yet no tears. Stricken for the sight of the two happy fillies, the ones she wanted them to be. Can it even be? A time when Soul can close her door and turn around to find Dashie there with her for a sleepover. Not at her house. But in Soul’s own bed this time. She could almost hear their laughter. But it was just her standing there in what little moonlight could shine in.
12.8
Her bed did call to her. Feeling its allure, but her stomach roared and she held it tight. No… no time for food. Even if she was hungry, she never even thought of eating. Never thought of sleeping. Just doing one thing.

She threw herself on her bed. Falling upon her back and letting her wings and legs spread till her feathers draped down over the sides of the bed. That was all she wanted. To relax. For once, and her wings thanked her. Crying out in glee at being able to rest. Not enough to make her feel any better.

Staring up at the ceiling. Her blankets spread around her and pillows left asunder, just able to put her head down on one. A nice and quiet place. For her to just lay there and dream. Like she floated in space. Her mind so hazy. Then a little heave in her chest. Settling once more when she could feel her tears die away as quick as they felt to come. No. No more crying. It hurt to do it. Nimbus always taught me sometimes it is good to cry to let out all that pain. It wasn’t working. Felt like it only made her feel more pain. Like an endless bubble inside her that wracked and rumbled, wanting her to cry endlessly in a pointless attempt to feel better. There was only one thing that would make her feel better.

A smile.
12.9
Something she could only dream of. Lay upon this bed. She rolled over on to her side and wondered. Just for a moment what it may be like. Though it took so long. Her waiting. Listening to the pitter patter of snow hitting her window. The one sound of the world. Though it could be so much more, like laughter. Yes.

What if things were better? What if I do make her smile again? Can it… can she be here? Laying next to her, face to face as they talked about their day in the dark. Passing the time with laughing and stories. Before… Dash would reach out and… pull Soul into her wings. For Soul to settle her face into her soft chest and… to know what it’s like to be loved by another as Dash would lull her to sleep with her soft breathing… and a kiss to the cheek. Rainbow always was such a tough girl, but she showed me a side to her that she was afraid to. A side of love.

I felt I did earn her trust. Enough to think of that dream. What changed? What did? Just another pain inside her of the pony she wanted to protect. To see smile and happy again. With me. Happy with me. So I don’t feel like I was just a mistake to her. That it was all pointless.
12.10
Soul felt her cheek tingle. Just one little wipe along her fur, one that made her look to see. Peering up along the head of her bed to where… she recognized it.

It was the hat. Cast deep in blue and white to rise up against the dark of night like a star shimmering over her bed. Right where she left it. That made her roll over and get on all fours once more. To gaze at it. Level with her eyes. Upon the Wonderbolts insignia upon it. It’s golden hue. A little shine rolling across it for just a moment. A remnant of a beautiful time.

We were supposed to wear these, that’s right. Soul placed her hoof under it and brought it closer to her. So close, she almost hugged it. Dashie and I were going to wear these to the show. As a symbol of our friendship. Even if that wasn’t what Dash had in mind, it was what Soul did. But part of her thought that it may also have been how Dash felt. Because of what these hats meant. Our love for one another. Dash gave me this, to tell me she loved me. That she thought of me. That I matter to her. The first gift from a friend. My best friend.

I’d love to show up to her house wearing it someday, with a dorky smile. Or when we become Wonderbolts. Any time we fly. Any time we are together. My symbol for her, to never forget her. As a part of the life she had lost. Right here in front of her.

That reminded her.
12.11
Soul jumped off the bed. With the hat held close, she leaned down. Propping her tail up and sliding her head down under the bed to where she had placed it. Gently set there upon a box down there. Her secret place. One she had recently made. To keep her memories. Of which, just one was there. One she pulled out and put down upon her bed. It had a thick blue cover over it with plenty of space. Nimbus had told her they could find stickers to put over it to make it look nice. Something they never got to do. She could only imagine how beautiful it could have been.

Her and Nimbus there together at the table to decorate it together and even more, because the true beauty was what could be inside. What made her flip it open to the many empty pages within. Blank, clear pages. With little openings at the sides. Big enough… for pictures. Our photo album. Nimbus’ Hearth’s Warming gift to her. Stored safely for when the time would come for it to be used. To mark the start of her journey to her dream. But what it could be, what it could be. When a time can come for her to open it up and find something wonderful to look upon.
12.12
First page, all the photos of the time when Dashie and her could start on their journey together. Not Soul’s alone. This book, it was going to be Dashie’s too. Something for both of them to use to remember. Like… like Dash does.

Soul smiled down at it, flipping the empty pages. Thinking over it. When we’re mares and look at how we were when we were fillies. Us goofy kids having so much fun. Seeing all the training we went through and what it would all lead to. We trained together and got so much better. All thanks to each other. Rainbow had her Wonderbolts pictures. Soul wanted different. Just a book of the two of them. The bestest of friends. Forever. What made a tear fall upon the pages. Clear, like water. A tear… that did not hurt. As she smiled.

Nimbus gave this to me with the best of intentions. It was so sweet. Like this hat that Dash gave me. We all had something beautiful together. For once, Soul had forgotten her past. All thanks to them. Her only regret was not telling them how she felt. That was the one thing she could have done differently. Because then… she would have been strong. Like they all were to show Soul how much they loved her.

And I threw it all away.
12.13
I… was never a mistake to Dashie. That is why she gave me this hat. The one Soul hugged with both hooves. She wanted so much with me. She wanted our dream. And I got rid of it like an idiot. It is all my fault. Rainbow Dash did everything for me and I repaid her with the worst… the worst words I could tell her. The ones that made Soul’s eyes widen.

I hate you.

Such a lie. Such a horrible lie. One she couldn’t forgive herself for. Ever. Never again. I won’t. I won’t. Soul slammed a hoof down on the floor. I’ll never forgive myself. Not until she is happy again. For all that these ponies did for me. Even if Dashie hates me, I still love her. I always will, and I’ll do anything for her. For Soul’s best friend.

She needs you. No matter what she says.

Dashie does need me. Just like Soul needed her before and she got what she wanted, a friend out of all of it and the courage she needed to protect her. But Soul had failed, she failed to keep her promise. To stick with her best friend and be there for her when she needed her. She could only imagine how sad Dash must have been to see they would not be together for the show today. Soul will never know how much she cried. Will never see how hurt Dash was. That was why Dash hated her. It had to be. And all the stupid things I did to her. How stupid I acted. There has to be some way. Some way for me to keep her happy. So she can keep on smiling. Whatever her future was. Rainbow Dash was in danger. Even if she hated Soul, Soul would not abandon her. The least she could do was protect her. To make sure that pony stayed happy forever.

There is something you can do.
12.14
But what am I supposed to do? Maybe try to go and see Dash. Even if she would yell at her, Soul needed to try to talk to her. Nopony else wants to help so maybe the two of them could try to deal with this together. Together, there was nothing they couldn’t do. Like how Dash convinced her to stand up for herself and both of them won their first race together. I could go see her.

But… Soul stopped herself, she just couldn’t get that horrible thing out of her mind. That Dash would not want to see her. She didn’t believe me anyways. Right before she told me she hated me. When all I wanted to do was help. But Dash was right. Soul had been a horrible friend. Enough to make her hate me.

Really, what has changed? What changed so much to make us from such good friends to hating one another. Though I don’t hate you. Not at all. It is why she wanted to do anything for her. You really do love her?

Soul paused. Staring down at the hat she held. Am I asking myself this? How can I think otherwise? Of course I love her. There was no other pony she would want in her life now more than ever. Except for maybe the life she had before all this to come back. The dream I want is for all of us to be together happy and without pain. This hollow pain in her chest. For Rainbow, I’ll love her forever. For showing me a better life, even if it was short. Because we can get that dream back, right? Right?

Of course.
12.15
That’s right. All it takes is some effort. For me to be strong. I’ll protect her.

There’s a way you can. Do you love her enough? Do I love her enough? Soul wondered, what was it she felt for Dash? Is it normal for best friends to be as close as they had been? For Soul to want Dashie to hold her and send her off to her dreams at night. The only pony out there who could calm her and whom she actually wanted to spend so much time with. No matter what. That Soul could see them being with one another forever. Never to leave the other. Even now. There must be some way, something I can do to make it all right. No matter what happened to Soul, she only cared for her friend. For what she wanted. For her happiness. Only.

I do love her. I love her so much, she’s my greatest friend. The only pony who understood me. Rainbow Dash hates me, so what? I don’t… and I’ll still be there. Even if she wants me away. I won’t leave her side. I won’t. I won’t!

I just… Soul looked up, over to the pony staring back at her behind her bed. Upon the mirror along her wall. The shadow of herself in the moonlight with her red eyes shining bright and a streak of light over her soiled mane. With bits of fur tufted along her body in horrible tangles where she could feel the pain of her wounds. Such a pathetic looking pony. Not that amazing pony who wowed so many fillies and colts when she won her first ever race. Like this… I just don’t know what to do.

Kill them.
12.16
What? Them? The ones who want to hurt her.

I… I can’t believe I am thinking that. It… those words made Soul shudder. Rippling of electricity along her body in a haunting chill. She… had never thought of such things before. All your life, ponies only hurt you. Maybe you should not take it anymore.

But I never had a choice. I was just a little girl. Who only was able to mess up and make others mad at her. No matter how much they hurt Soul, she always proved to herself she was able to walk away from it. Like when her mom left her. When all other ponies ignored her. When the other kids broke her wing and left her to cry in Nimbus’ hooves. Bullied her for so long and made her feel so alone. When Nimbus herself left her. When… when her best friend told her she hated her. She walked away from it. I can take it.

Can you really?

Yes I can! It’s why I was able to go on this long. Soul turned from that crying filly in the alley with nopony there for her into… she widened her eyes. Looking upon herself once more. Upon everything around her. The dark room she stood in to listen to the silent flakes hitting her window and the gentle breeze outside. She felt the hat fall from her grasp as her hooves fell back down to the floor. Settling next to the last thing she had left in her life. The hat she had been clinging. Like the doll I clung to. She saw it there and it made her head sting. For how stupid she was.

Nothing has changed.
12.17
I’m still that lonely little girl with nopony in her life. Always getting turned on and beaten by the ones she thought she could trust. Beaten till now… where her heart felt like nothing more than ice in her. It was true. I can’t walk away from it. All her life, she had been pushed and hurt. Just now seeing that it just won’t change. None of it will.

You can change it.

But is it right? Soul gulped. Why? What is wrong with me? I’m actually thinking about it! I… no! I was taught better. All I want is love. I can’t hurt others. It’s not right.

What is the point of it when there are none to love you? You need prove to all that you are strong enough to be there. Be there for her.

I won’t. I won’t hurt anypony! I’m a good girl, I’m not bad. There is nothing bad about protecting the ones you love. I do love her. There needs to be some other way. Please. Soul looked back at herself with a start. Her entire body was shaking. That is not a pony who hurts others. The one who looked at her with bloody eyes. She doesn’t. But she is one who is there for the ones she loves!

“I know I am!” Soul slammed her hooves upon the bed and made it shake. Burying her face within the blankets. To finally experience silence as her room died. Her mind settled. In time to the peaceful sounds outside and the calm all around her. That her legs could finally stop shaking. She didn’t even know her wings were flaring out the whole time. They settled. As the thoughts left her mind and only her desires were left. Her fleeting desires. But they gave her a sense of comfort. To think about it all, about who she wanted to be.
12.18
I used to read a book that spoke about stallions who would do anything for the mares they loved. Little short stories inside of a big book. Every story different from the other. Even with different settings. One could be a time when ponies travelled in little houses that could be carried along in wagons. Times of great castles. Even from times of Canterlot itself. The stallions who would take up any challenge to save the girl.

Saving. That wasn’t probably the right word. Sometimes saving, other times it was more like changing them. Changing the mare to think better of herself. To think better of the world even. Something that led to an ending where both could smile. Free from a bleak world. Oh all the things those stallions did for them. Any challenge they took up, they fought hard to defeat it. From puzzles and riddles, to traps and dragons. Or maybe even changing the words that another pony had heard to make them cry. Turning those sad tears to tears of joy.

Those ponies were always strong. Even when some acted like total fools to Soul, she was still heartened when seeing them strong enough to make another happy. To see them able to change things. All for the sake of reaching one dream. To make another happy. That would make them happy. That’s what I want. I want to make another happy, it’ll make me happy. For her to change what it was that made all sad.
12.19
Is it really right? Her dreams were always so big. For better times. It had come close and left, leaving her to seek for it again. Like always. Like so many times before. Yet there was one truth.

This time, nopony hurt her. Rainbow Dash had not hurt her. For the first time, Soul realized she had hurt another. I hurt Dashie. I am the one who made her sad. Now here Soul was, wanting to be the one who would make her happy. With my own hooves, these ones she looked at across from her, she had hurt another pony so dear to her. I’m no good. I’m a terrible pony. Soul, there was no one else for her to blame for the end of her happy life than herself. I only have two things left from it. Soul sat up, looking down at the scrapbook open before her. Below her, between her legs, was the most precious thing she had from it.

I… I’ll never use them again. Those two things, they were for a life she had lost. A life she wanted back. Oh yes, I want it back. I want it now!

Soul gritted her teeth. Pushing herself back off the bed. I’ll keep it all safe. Soul rushed to grab the book and her hat. Putting them to the side, she sat down before her bed. Able to reach down and pull out a box that laid beneath the bed. Just an empty box. Opening it up, letting the dust trickle down. But it was a safe place. I’ll keep them safe. I promise. She held the scrapbook in front of her, for but a moment. Nimbus and Starry’s gift to her. Softly put inside the box.
12.20
She held up… the hat. It looked back at her. With a little Wonderbolts icon on it. Giving her one last gleam in the moonlight. I really did love it, all of this. I always will. Until I come back for them. But it was hard, hard to part with them. Even harder to set the hat down inside the box right next to the book. I… just can’t. Soul closed it. Pushing that box back where it came from.

I’ll be back for them. I will.

She just could not leave them behind for anypony to see. Hoping they will be safe. She just didn’t know anymore. Didn’t know anything except for the mind-numbing pain running over her. A horrible and ravenous feeling until… it grew gentle. Gentle when she looked up to the window. Up to the pony who shone inside that vast orb of the Moon. Like it stared down and judged her.

“What do you know? You’d sooner hurt those who love you. I don’t even know if you regret it. But I do.” Soul looked away from the thing that always kept her company in the night and closed her eyes. Turning her back on it all. She walked past it all, leaving behind the life she once had. Left in a box beneath the bed.

“I regret it all.” Soul opened her eyes once more. Glaring out upon a room that glowed red before her. Rainbow Dash hates me, there is only one thing left I can do to make her smile again. To give her that chance. Like the heroes in those books. It isn’t wrong at all.

You were right.

There is nothing bad about protecting the ones you love. Nothing wrong with doing the right thing. I’ll give myself… to it. As she opened her eyes, shining bright in red. Red eyes that were not her own.

Otherwise, all will just keep taking from you. Hehehehe.
12.21
You know, it’s been quite a while since I made myself breakfast. Soul had been afraid she would burn down the whole place. It was kind of strange. She used to be so good at it, but this time she had been so skittish and feared the worst just from making some pancakes for herself. She almost forgot about them too, coming back in time to save them and now had a nice stack of them she set down for herself at the table with the aroma of something so good in the air. She had to sniff it. Then she sniffed the food itself. Her stomach roared in response, so much that she had to grip it once more. Like it was eating itself down there.

Her first meal in over a day. She surprised herself with wanting to make something. Sitting around all night and wandering her house. Her hooves were tired from all of it. Her eyes burned. But none of it ever made her stop and decide to eat, not until now with the Sun beginning to shine over the horizon upon a land where the snow fell so gently now. Becoming a beautiful sight. So many clouds out there that she saw, but not enough. There was a huge clearing in all of it for the Sun to peer through. Casting its radiance upon the floating city flooded in white.
12.22
It was mornings like this that Soul appreciated. Kind of like it was… normal. Even her pulsing eyes… they no longer bothered her. A cry from within for sleep. No time for that. She needed to be up and about. Much like she would be by now on a normal day. It did bring back memories.

As she sat there on her same chair looking over her pancakes and then over to… the two chairs across from her. Empty. She could only stare. Even though she could hear it… the sounds of laughter of ponies familiar to her. I would be talking about how I slept. Talking about what kind of day I would be having. It... was something else. Something for her to sit here with nothing to say as she stared ahead of her. Alone.

Thinking there would be ponies there for her. No, it’s just myself. Only me this morning. Again. She could only frown about it. Her dead stare sticking to the chairs for the longest time as the sounds of the world played outside.

She heard some actual laughter in the distance. Probably other kids playing in the snow. Lucky. Just like the ponies she envied long ago. She wasn’t as envious anymore. Staring out her window at them. Afraid to talk to them and only able to watch them have fun. Before she would go off and cry by herself. No time for that.
12.23
Really, what is the point of being sad about them? I… I got plenty to be happy about. Soul was going to do what she wanted to do. Make another pony happy. I… that will be good for me. Good enough. It always was my dream, to make others happy. To give them hope. I… I can live with that. “Yes I can.” Soul giggled to herself.

“I bet if you two were here, you would be so proud.” She looked at the two empty chairs. Yes they would. They were the ones who gave me something as wonderful as Rainbow Dash. Sending me to camp and giving me the courage to step up to be Dash’s friend. They’d love me being there to help her. She had to laugh. Slowly and then it died down as she calmed herself.

Oh yeah. I just wish they were here so I could see them be proud of me. I wonder what it would be like. What today would be like if things were back to how they used to be. Would Dashie be here? A sleepover after the show. Oh I could make her breakfast and then we can go and play in the snow too. Something before our return to camp. She bet Nimbus would be proud to go with the two of them to play as well. Also to keep them out of trouble.
12.24
Those thoughts faded. Back to where empty chairs and a quiet house returned to her. Quiet but able to give her some comfort. Warmth and a nice smell of food.

I really should eat. Soul had it all drowned in syrup. Sadly, they had been out of strawberries. Nothing to put on top of them like she liked. Sad because she really did want something sweet. Something to take her mind off things for even a little bit as this wait she was in was a bit hard to deal with. Just sitting around, not knowing what to do with herself until something happened. Kind of made her wonder how things will be. How will it be? Will life become this?

Just sitting around. It’s not like she had anything left, or even the chance she would get anything. Nothing except for knowing Dash could be happy. If that was enough for her. While Soul was left… behind.

Maybe… I can figure out what to do with myself when this is all over. Find a new place for me. When she really didn’t want to. Looking around this empty house, she really did prefer to have something else. Another purpose after this. How long can it go on? She fiddled with her plate. She always relied on Nimbus and Starry. Always relied on others. Did she really need to do everything on her own? Will there be another pony out there for her?
12.25
Meals like this, they only reminded her of the times she wanted back. Left to stay here and wait to do something that would make her feel better. Because it droned in her mind. She really did have a question she wanted to ask. But there was nopony here to answer it for her. She just really badly wanted to know something so it would finally leave her mind and maybe she could feel a little better. All night long, since she realized what she had to do, it lingered.

While she had paced the halls and sat on the sofa staring out at the night. Looking over the old photos and portraits spread over the living room and the dining room. Sitting out on the deck and watching the land she used to train over. Hours and hours of this. She had no idea how many hours. Yet she still had to endure this. This horrible wait. A wait for them to return.

Soul shook when her fiddling of her plate made it ring out as it slid over something beneath it. But she settled back down. Not a problem. It… it’s nothing. It actually startled her, hearing such a loud clank all of a sudden, she thought it may be the door opening or something to tell her that they were here. Ugh, I should eat. So she did. Taking her sweet time doing so.

It never took her this long to eat before. Slowly leaning down and ripping away at her stack of pancakes and chewing no faster.
12.26
Such delicious food finally, but to her… it was nothing. Every bite she took no different than before and it lost all the meaning it had to it. Like how she used to devour all the good food that was made for her during breakfast. Something so satisfying to wake up to. She had no appetite now. Even if her stomach growled. It just tasted like… disappointment. Such a long disappointment and she found she hadn’t even eaten a quarter of it.

She sighed. Putting one hoof upon the plate and pushing it away a little. Not enough for the plate to fall off all the stuff that it sat on. No matter how good it smelled, it couldn’t convince her to eat any more. Much to her stomach’s pain. I just can’t. Making her fall back in the chair and stare up to the ceiling. I wonder how I used to do this. Being all alone with nothing.

Was I better back when I was in that alley?

She didn’t recall if she felt this bad. This yucky inside. Enough to be both confident and ashamed of herself. Confident in her purpose. Ashamed of her decisions. Whatever, not like it mattered. I know I used to starve a lot back then. Having to rush to find food wherever she could and oftentimes going without any. Just a struggle for scraps. Now she had food, but it wasn’t enough for her. It will never be enough. Not with knowing she actually was a terrible pony. Not enough to stop herself though.
12.27
She pushed the chair out and leapt off onto the floor. Standing for a moment just to make sure, as she watched the front door with her ears up. Her fur stayed still. I still get to wait. It was so hard to. With all these butterflies in her. From fear or nervousness? Who knows?

But one thing remained, she was excited to do what she wanted to do. So much so that it was a pain to wait. Maybe I could go outside. Watch the snow fall. Sometimes it was fun to see what nature could do. What patterns it could make in the air.

Or just to go out there to do something to feel any better. Knowing her, she would likely ruin all her plans if she did go out there. No, it was best to stay in here. So she did. Stay in the house she would always call her home. Where she wanted to have her own family in, and all the memories this place made for her that she had always taken for granted. Maybe I can… she looked back at the kitchen.

Yeah. I know what I can do. Something that would make Nimbus and Starry happy. Like if they were here. I would instantly volunteer. Especially if they made me food. Soul went over to the kitchen. Spreading her wings and holding herself aloft once more to reach the counter. Where she cleaned up.
12.28
Wiping all the mess she made making her food and cleaning up the dishes. Putting them away and making the whole place look brand new. Just a quick thing she could do while the others got ready for the day, to make things easier for Nimbus and Starry.

Then she went over and tidied up the dining room table. Finishing up and she looked back over at the front door. Expecting something. Still nothing. It agitated her even more. Not even able to crack a smile anymore. She almost was too violent in setting the table mats back out to where it made the table shake a little.

Ugh, no need to get angry. I’m just… making sure their spots look good. Soul put the mats back where she had expected Nimbus and Starry to sit down and eat. Nimbus never did want them to eat off the fancy mats they used. Just for decoration. Always putting them off to the side for food, Soul just moved them this morning. In case they wanted to eat with her. So stupid of her. Of course they wouldn’t. They’re gone. But she still wished it wasn’t so. For her to do all this stuff just to make them smile. Like it always was. That did remind her.
12.29
Soul flew off out of the dining room and up the stairs. Flying past the bathroom she didn’t even need to use since the other night. How long has it been since she had a good bath? No time for one last night. No time for that now. I got things to do.

Starting in her room where she darted back into. Oh man, that’s silly of me. She left all her blankets and pillows asunder. Like a storm went through her bed. Better get this done. Nimbus and Starry would have a cow if they found she left her bed a total mess, especially on a busy weekday. They will like it if I keep it all clean. She had the routine down. Fluff her pillows and put them side to side. Laying the sheets out above them and spreading them all over the bed right before she put that thick blanket on top so neatly tucked into the sides of the bed. Ending it all with folding her last blanket up on top of all of it. A lot of crap to deal with but it kept her warm at night during these winter times.

Haha, almost like I’m getting ready for a real day! I wonder what we could do today. Hehe, if only but… she could dream. The filly more than happy to smile over her work and pleased with herself like Nimbus and Starry would have been. Speaking of which, she did want to check again. Just to make sure. Before she did anything else. It could be possible.

So Soul left her room and went on to another room.
12.30
To where the door was cracked open to the room of Nimbus and Starry. Those two always closed their door for bed. But… yeah, that’s how I left it. Yet Soul landed in front of it and pushed the door open. Gently. Before she peeked in, and the words almost slipped out of her mouth.

‘Good morning.’

Stupid of me. So apparent it was when she found it all left exactly how she had left it. With pillows tossed aside of the bed and the scarlet blankets all jumbled up in a mess up top, where she had slept in them. But there was something off about it, only when she walked in. Soul didn’t usually come in here, but it felt so strange to walk in and listen to how quiet it was in this room. How still the air was in here like not even a particle of dust could float in it. Where she was the only thing that moved in here. Why is it that it feels so weird?

She liked to imagine how it would be if things were normal. She bet it would feel… like it did when she came in here to sleep with Nimbus and Starry. Something she had missed before. What was that feeling? Coming in here gave her a sense of it. Like all her troubles were gone, not anymore. Now, this room only made her sulk.
12.31
This room had been so comfortable to her, that was it. Stepping in it after so long to something so friendly and loving. Where… she held me for the first time. Let me sleep on her chest. Her warm chest and her soft fur that was like a cloud to Soul. I miss that.

There really had been no purpose to coming in here, not like they were here. Here for her to wake them up. They weren’t oversleeping. But she paused as she walked in past the side of the bed and saw something in the corner of her eye. She was still.

Maybe for a minute, looking over it. With her mouth wide open. Not even blinking. Before she reached out and pulled it close to her. For the scene to be right in front of her, as she held the picture in the heart engraved frame. One of many pictures in here. All of the same thing, but this one had been one to give her something. Like she felt a little trickle inside her heart for only a moment. The picture of her with Nimbus and Starry. Held between both of them atop their shoulders. With Soul up there, her wings spread, and such a wide smile on her loving face. When I was younger. This picture meant a lot to Nimbus. All of them did, as she looked all around her at the many, many pictures set atop tables and dressers. Hanging on the walls. Every one of them was the same thing, with that magenta filly in them.
12.32
I really do envy her, Soul thought as she looked back at the one she held. That filly in the photo. I… I want that. To feel it again, without having to know how life will be. I really did feel like all was good before. I should have learned my lesson. I always end up this way. Stupid, little filly. You never did fight to earn what you wanted. Now I got to do this. All on my own. Stupid.

Though she was gentle when she put the photo back down. Even if she hated the pony in that picture, there had been a pony dear to her heart that did not feel the same about her. Nimbus did love me. Until I let everypony down.

Soul closed her eyes, not letting go of the photo… until she heard the wind outside. It haunted her. Made her fur actually stand up. Like the wind itself went over her back and stroked her mane. Like how Nimbus… would rub my head. I miss that feeling.

Soul let go of the photo. She really did hate it. This room had been such a joy to get to sleep in, now it was nothing more than a memory. Like everything else. An empty, useless house filled with all the pain in her heart. A small squeak left her lips. I… I hate how I’m being.

Soul dashed out of the room. Slowing back down to a standstill out in the hall, and she looked back. I really am alone. There was nopony there to follow her back downstairs. I can’t believe I have to do this. But… maybe Dashie will forgive me, at least. She has no idea what I am willing to do for her. Nopony could suffer this way. Though Soul was not even aware of it. She only trudged back off to the stairs. Off on her go around of the house once more. All she could do in this incessant waiting. While her ears remained up the whole time, she felt nothing change.
12.33
She passed by her bedroom one last time, looking inside with dull eyes. Her lovely room. Where she always spent so much time in the past. Yet her heart ached seeing it. As she could see Nimbus in the same spot Soul was in right now, to open the door and wake Soul up. Or even more. For her and Dash to walk in through this door at the fall of nighttime. Both fillies so happy and laughing before Soul closed the door behind them.

The door did close, slammed shut as Soul pulled the door in. To get rid of that sight. I hate it. I hate everything that happened. These rooms only brought back to her the things she wanted again, and it hurt. Strangely, she didn’t leave. Soul sat herself down next to her closed door. Right before she lowered herself and spread out on the floor.

It will all be okay. Soul bared her fangs. I hate thinking that! Every time! It never is okay!

She put her hooves atop her head and buried herself under them. Folding her wings over herself too. Just shut up. Just shut up! Nothing ever turned out okay. Not when I was always an idiot. So stupid. I’m stupid enough to tell my best friend that I hate her. I won’t forgive myself, I won’t believe any of it. She glared at the darkness that her wings cast over herself. With so much time passing. She laid there, ignoring all the lies. Nothing is okay. If it was, I would be with Nimbus and Starry right now to go do something with Dashie and her parents. But now! Now Dashie and I hate each other. She hates me! And I have nopony left.

Though… I don’t hate her. That is what was too much. I still love her. Which is why I won’t be happy until I prove it to her. You are doing the right thing. I know I am. Rainbow Dash is in danger. Even if she hates me, I’ll do this to keep her from harm. Because its good. Yes. Such a good thing to do for her.

Soul’s ears flicked up, after so long of laying there, she finally lifted her head with her bloody eyes to peer out to the stairs ahead. Down below, where her fur stood up once more. A twitch in her ear, and a smile on her face.
12.34
Soul stood up. Atop her wobbly legs. Hehe, I already committed myself to this. For Rainbow Dash. I’ll do it. She almost stumbled over. Get a grip. Come on, Soul.

She looked back up when she heard the door open downstairs. Panting for a moment but she recovered. No, she let her wings do the work instead. Flying back up into the air. I… I think I know what I need to do.

She had spent all night planning it. Waiting so long for it to happen. Waiting since the night when they took the ponies I loved away from me. It just took her so long to see what she needed to do. So she did it. She actually went off to go and see. Because there was no turning back. Rainbow Dash is counting on me. One thing else was true. The only thing that made her go forward. Soul was indeed afraid and hurt so much. But her anger was too much to hold back now. Her anger at all that these past couple days had been. Time to end it.

Hehe, wish me luck, Dashie. I can’t wait to see you again. To tell you the news and for you to hug me when you hear it! You won’t hate me then.
12.35
But Soul did not leave. She hung upstairs, flapping her wings gently to lift herself up, but she did not fly down the steps. Only listening as she heard the sounds of hooves walking around downstairs. For sure now, there was somepony here. Even though she knew what it was she needed to do, having nowhere to go now, she still gulped. Her one last moment of fear before it all settled back down.

She breathed in deep and then let it out. Opening her cold and still eyes to the world once more to look down the steps and wait. Because it could be it was somepony else down there. Maybe Dashie had come back. That would be wonderful! So Soul would not need to wait to see if they could be together again.

“I’m tired, we can keep looking later.” No… that wasn’t Dash. In fact, it was a voice she really did recognize like it was meant to be here in this house because it was the voice of none other than Nimbus down there. Unmistakable. But Soul knew it wasn’t Nimbus. Otherwise, she would be ecstatic to hear her. They were never coming back. Yet for this moment, as she waited up there for some guidance, it kind of did feel like it were any normal day with Nimbus and Starry here with her.

It’s not them. They weren’t. As much as she hoped it to be inside of her, they never will be the ponies she wanted back. I get to meet them anyways.
12.36
The filly wanted to, it was just so hard to. Something she could do to stop this. I waited all night for this. Rainbow is in danger. I can’t step away now. Not like Soul had any way to step out of this. It would all lead to misery.

“They have a nice bed upstairs, I’m going to try it out” Nimbus said down there. “When were you fond of pony things?” asked the voice of Starry. Yeah… that’s not them. Not at all. Even worse with how they were talking. They want to sleep on… on their bed?! That’s Nimbus’ and Starry’s bed. The one I got to sleep on. No way would she be able to accept them using it. “I’m not but you have to admit that thing looked nice. …Don’t worry, I’m not growing fond of it. Besides, this house is just too dreadful to deal with” Nimbus said. “Better to spend the whole day wandering around this city?” “Maybe… a little better” Nimbus answered, much to Soul’s fury. She biting her little fangs down into her lip. Till blood trickled down.

You sons of bitches, this is the house I love. This is the house that the real Nimbus and Starry spent their whole lives building up to, just to give a home to Soul. Now those beasts were in here using Nimbus’ and Starry’s bodies while insulting their house. Maybe… it is right for me to do this.

Soul’s anger was just too much now. I’m done. Even if they look like them, they will always be the ones who ruined my life and want to hurt it even more. Besides, Soul still had her question she wanted answered, waiting all night for it. It all gave her what little courage left to actually do the unthinkable that no filly would do. But she no longer cared as blood trickled down her face and her eyes shone red. Soul flew down the stairs to meet them.
12.37
Those little moments flying down the steps being like a challenge on their own to her just to go down and see what it was she hated to see. Going right down these steps like any other morning, it felt very realistic. She had done this so many times before. If only it were normal, but oh… how lovely it would be for it to be real. For her to come downstairs as she did now, peering down past the rise of the stairway and seeing the living room shining in the sunlight that cast itself upon the two figures down there. The one standing by the door and another coming right towards her. Soul almost crossed paths right there, as she stared at her, with none other than Nimbus.

The mare looking back upon Starry and then… Soul felt a chill when both those familiar eyes turned to her… in shock. So I’m actually doing this. Her, all alone in the same room as these beasts, with Soul just hovering there above them. She didn’t even blink. She couldn’t.

Such a recognizable scene. Her here, together with the two ponies who had cared for her for so much of her life. Eye to eye like none of them no longer knew the other, for this was true. Their dumbstruck selves all together once more. Nimbus didn’t even look at all angry or scary. Just that mare with her lovely look and beautiful wings, standing before her. Such puzzlement in her red eyes. Yet no word was spoken.

Soul actually kind of thought it may be them for a moment. No. The real Nimbus would not be this way. She would be so happy to see me. Even more since I’m here to greet her from returning home. No, Soul only had another thing to say.
12.38
“Why were you two wandering around?” Soul really was curious, please. Perhaps it was something good. They all finally got to be in the same room once more and the filly had to ask that while she floated above both of them.

Nimbus finally cocked her head and then chuckled. Not even a scary laugh. She laughed like she was carefree. Just like Starry with his genuine smile. Pretty convincing of them. “We were looking for you, of course. We wouldn’t want you to be alone out there all night long. I’m actually kind of surprised to find you here.”

Soul shrugged at her and did something without even thinking about it. She flew past Nimbus. Over towards the dining room once more where she saw she had left the chairs pulled out and left her dishes laying there. She took time to reset the table but didn’t do that. She was slipping. “I’ve been here all night” Soul admitted.

She looked back at both of them before she did anything else. She couldn’t believe this was happening, but… she made no sound. Nothing to show just how utterly terrified and so broken she was inside. It was scary to her. Unlike anything she ever done before. To be so still and lifeless. All this time, like she was nothing more than stone. Not even a pony anymore, and how cold she felt inside. So much it gave her chills. She actually felt so nasty for speaking with such venom in her voice.

“I’ve been waiting for you guys.” “You were waiting for us?” Nimbus asked. Both ponies walking over to join one another. Standing there, like it was on purpose. Between Soul… and the front door. I don’t feel anything at all. No urge to run. I am staying here.
12.39
“Isn’t that nice of me?” Soul asked. She pushed in the first chair where she had sat for breakfast. Hovering over her half-eaten pancakes and the last dirty dish she missed. That looks better, she tapped the chair with satisfaction and looked back at the two ponies. She did expect something of them.

Why are they so quiet? Am I that weird? Not at all. I’m just doing the right thing like a good pony needs to do… to not feel like a bad pony. That feeling sucked. “Just been waiting in my house all night long hoping to see you two come back.” Soul said that with something else in her mind that these two did not know. She could practically sense Starry over there getting impatient with his frown coming over him and a small glare in his eyes. Twinkling like starlight. His hoof itched and fidgeted in place. “Yeah, pretty nice” Nimbus said awkwardly. “You seem different, Soul.”

Am I? It’s been a while since I looked in the mirror. “No, I still feel the same” Soul said. She went on over to the other two chairs. Much the same as she did yesterday. “I just wanted to be in the house I lived in for most of my life. It’s really the only nice place I have left. You know… that house that is so dreadful.”

She shot her glare at both of them, almost like it didn’t matter to either of them. Just a little draft in the air between them that Soul felt over her. Like it twitched suddenly, and then she caught it just in time. Spotting Nimbus shaking her tail for a moment behind her. Exactly like Soul did, nervously, at the same time. But even more.
12.40
Soul let her tail wag wildly behind her, dealing with the last two chairs. Glancing back at them and their horrible bodies. It was starting to get uneasy to just look at them. Just constantly reminding her. It made her wonder. But she looked up to the ceiling. Not to them. Just not able to bother with them what with all that was in her head. All the terrible thoughts and painful memories. What good there was only led to more sadness. Becoming a void… right where her heart should be. If she could say it like that.

It really did feel like an endless rip in her chest. A constant pulsing in there. Opening up to nothing. It really hurt.

“I really do love this house” Soul spoke out suddenly. “You know… I didn’t always live here.” She actually spoke to them. In time to see Starry starting to trot along past the table, slowly coming to join where Soul was, with Nimbus walking forth on soft steps. Soul only went on. Not even needing what they said to her.
“Really?” Nimbus asked. “I was actually brought here when I was a filly. Nimbus and Starry took me in and raised me. So many years… with them” she spoke reflectively on it all while she pushed in the chairs. Finishing that up. Starry stood across from her. Staring. Nimbus to her left. Soul didn’t care, not when she could see it all once again. How happy she was.
12.41
“I didn’t grow up with parents, they got rid of me when I was just a foal. But Nimbus and Starry, they put up with me and treated me like I was something special. They fed me and kept me warm. They taught me how to fly properly and even went beyond that. They taught me so much about flying that… some ponies actually think I am amazing. Even I think I can be something amazing. Like a great, world class flyer. How cool would that be?”

Was it strange that Nimbus was smiling? “I could tell they loved you a lot, don’t you see? Why else would they do all that? Weird though, here I always thought they were your parents.” Oh that’s another story entirely. Soul admitted that to herself. I would love for them to be my parents, hahaha. But that’s just stupid talk. What I want is always wrong. It’s all about what others want. I’ll do all I can for them. Like I should have.

“I really did appreciate all they did for me, sometimes… I wish I had done better at showing how much I loved it all. Just random, stupid stuff.” Soul flapped her wings. Flying over the table and over… to join where Starry was.
12.42
She stayed above him, almost feeling the timid side of her with being so close. But this was a time to be brave. Was she brave? Being this close to the two who had taken so much from her. She didn’t care. About any of her feelings. Just wanting to tell them.

“I did this a few times for them. But this whole thing right now, it sorta reminds me of it. Nimbus and Starry loved to go on morning flights while I slept on the weekends just to do some exercise. But I was always awake when they came back. Sometimes, I would make them breakfast while they were out and they came back, I’m there ready to eat. Got their plates out. They were both always so happy when I did that. Kinda weird, you two coming in here like this and me waiting for you. Kind of does feel like those times.”

“Well… I would never have taken you as the giving type like that” Nimbus said. “It’s a little funny. What if you had made us breakfast when we came back?” “Oh she made us breakfast” Starry said behind Soul. Feeling his malice behind her. It didn’t phase Soul. Not from seeing what she used to have.

“I did love them a lot” Soul said. “They were the ponies I wanted to spend the rest of my life around. Since they spent so much time training me, I wanted them to be the first ponies there to see me when I become a Wonderbolt.” “Sounds like you have big dreams” Nimbus said, the mare came a little closer to join them. Soul eyed the plate she left on the table and then looked back at Nimbus. Her fur standing up to Starry to her side. Surrounded by wolves, yet her calm somehow stayed for just a little longer… as she felt her heart writhe.
12.43
Each thing she said, like it was poison to her. She felt so terrible now. But… she couldn’t stop. “I was going to graduate for them. As a reward for all their hard work for me. Become one of the best flyers of all. So fast and skilled that nopony in all of Equestria could beat me. Well… except for that filly you saw yesterday. Rainbow Dash. She’s all I have left from what Nimbus and Starry gave to me. My first ever friend. The only other filly as good as me at flying. And she wanted to graduate with me. Both of us together with our parents there to cheer us on.”

“Really, what are Nimbus and Starry to you?” Nimbus asked.

That sank in. Sinking so deep though she did not answer her. Wildly set on everything in her that hurt. So much that the pain was becoming unbearable. I can’t even cry. She couldn’t even stop talking about it. Having somepony to talk to was good. Even if her hoof trembled for a moment towards the plate. Starry so close to her.

“Rainbow Dash was the first pony to ever teach me what it means to be strong and she gave me a purpose.” Such a great purpose. I need to do all I can to try and fix it, to live up to it. With what little was left. What little hope she had left in her. It drained fast. Each word she spoke only hurting her more. Till she really did want to just end it all.
12.44
“I got my own wingpony, my own future with her. My very own best friend…” Soul muttered.

“You love her a lot, don’t you?” Nimbus asked. “Yeah…” Soul said with her head down. “She’s the best pony in my life and was always there for me… until recently.”

“You had a fight?” Was that a fight? Soul still nodded. Didn’t seem like a fight to her. More like… the end of something great. Such a terrible end, with what little chance she had to fix it. How much she wanted it back. Deep inside. With Starry right there, she felt his breath upon her. Him looming over her. Nimbus in front of her. With a smirk upon her face. Soul held her breath and spoke.

“I told her… I hated her. But the truth is, I will always love her.” Like that alone was enough to make Nimbus smile and bare her fangs. “I do love her so much, so much that I’ll do anything for her. That’s why I stayed here waiting all night long. Because I want her back. I want my life back. The one that you took from me!” Soul’s ear twitched. All she needed to know… the harsh voice in her head.

Soul!

Too late… much too late to change now. Soul did what she had to do. I’ll do it! I will! Right as she heard Starry’s teeth coming to bare on her. Yet she was not afraid. Not enough to stop her.

Her hoof reached out, grabbing hold of the table. So she could duck down and grab. The plate tipped over. Pulling out what was hidden beneath it, between her teeth which gleamed white and shone in the reflection of the silver steel in her mouth. She closed her eyes. Just doing it. With nothing but instinct to guide her and a cold touch to her. The first time she ever felt so nasty and so terrible when she felt it touch against something, as she slashed.
12.45
Starry yelped in her ears.

Soul reeled back right against the table and shot her wings out enough to stop herself from falling. Just as something warm hit her face. She had to open her eyes. Turning back to face them with her hooves planted back on the ground.

I… I don’t even need to look. Down at the thing she held in her mouth to know what she just did. For the spots were all over the floor around her. Little drops… of red. Sprayed along, and she saw exactly what she had done.

Starry backed away, clutching at his throat with both hooves before he flew up on his big wings right back to Nimbus, where the mare ran forth and skidded to a halt. Shocked as Starry was. Both of them had no idea. Not even Soul did, she did not know what to do. What she was doing. Just knowing she had to do something. Her legs shook. Her wings flared out. Spread out, waiting for them with the large knife in her mouth. The same one Nimbus used to cut their food with, it always looked so big. Soul never thought of ever using it. Not for this. For doing the right thing.

For once, Soul was the one in charge. She was the one who could hurt. I’m not going to let them hurt me anymore. I won’t.

“You’ll never! I’ll never let you touch Rainbow Dash!”
12.46
Starry coughed but he let go of his throat, right where Soul could see the long cut along it. Where blood trickled out slowly.

Soul sighed. Glaring at them and angry at herself. Damn it. Not good enough. She hadn’t been close enough. I won’t back down. Even against these two. I’ll fight them. I won’t let them leave here to hurt my best friend. It’s the right thing to do.

She gripped the knife even harder with her teeth. Not caring anymore. All those stories she had in her mind left her. Just a single drive to protect the one she loved.

“Nimbus and Starry gave me the greatest friend I ever had. I won’t let you hurt her too!” Starry settled back down. Ignoring his wound. She faced down against both of them. With their fangs as long as knives themselves. Even after what she did, both of them only smiled. I’ll give you something to smile about. I’ll actually do it. I’ll do a bad thing because it’s the right thing to do. “My, my” Nimbus said. “The little filly has some fangs. I never would have taken you to be this way. You really have changed… a lot.”

“I’m just full of surprises… aren’t,… I?” Soul spat.
12.47
“You really are a crazy pony. A lot more defiant than any other. Really, what happened to you, Soul?” Nimbus said. “You were such a sniveling baby yesterday. When did you turn so cold?”

I’m not cold!? …I’m doing what is right. Soul angrily bit into the handle of the knife. Snarling at them. Louder than any other thing she could hear to where it frightened her. With her own voice. Like some sort of animal. I don’t care.

“I hate talking to you two. You’re… pretending to be the ponies I love. Just seeing you, it’s like hell to me!” “You won’t be seeing us for long for what you did” Starry told her. Rubbing his throat. Soul smiled so widely under her bangs. Glaring in the knife. Bringing it up to bare on them, for them to see it. Because it was funny. I won’t be seeing you two for long. Either… you die… or I die. One sounded a little better than the other. At least the other… she would stop feeling all this pain in her. But I need to protect Dashie.

You have to save her.

What is wrong with me? No, I won’t die to them. I’ll get rid of them. Forever! But… Soul wanted to leave them with one last thing. She still had… her question.

“You asked me a question” Soul pointed out. “What are Nimbus and Starry to me? Right? Well I have a question too.” “Do go on” Nimbus said. So much hate in her eyes to match that of Soul’s. Okay, I’ll ask. Because I need to know something. I really do need to. After all the years of this. Soul wanted to know why. “Why did you want to hurt me by taking them away from me?”

“Is that really all you want to know?” Nimbus asked. “Tell me now!” Ringing silence between them all. Nimbus took her time to say anything. The mare blinked. Grimacing like she was annoyed. Or even amused with herself. Her voice told it, she was amused. “Soul Serenity” she whispered. She gripped the knife tighter. What is it that makes others hurt me? Tell me now. These things that did the worst to me. Why?

“Because you are so weak.”
12.48
Soul didn’t move. Not from shock or despair. No, she was all out of that. All of it spent. The filly really had nothing left in her. Except for one thing. Just being confirmed. Yup, that’s right. Exactly as I thought.

Soul lowered her head. Her eyes still gleamed out under her bangs to the two ponies. Lost of all her feelings. Just… an unending sadness. That all of this was her fault. That is why nopony loves me. And now it’s why I have to do this. I was weak all the time and got hurt because of it. I want my life back so much. She wanted it enough to do this. To have the strength to laugh.

She laughed so hard. Cackling almost. So hard to hold the knife in her mouth thanks to it. But it was too funny. So funny to be right. That she was useless. Worthless to all the other ponies. That’s why. I have nothing for them… until now. I’ll show them all what I want. Even though… I know they’ll never love me like I do for them.

“Maybe I am weak. So much that I’ve been hurt so many times in my life. You’re right about one thing though.” Soul’s red eyes bore down on both of them.

Do it. Rainbow Dash needs you. “Hehehehehehe. I am cold… because of what you did. I lost Rainbow Dash. I lost my dream. Now I want them back. I want it all back. Especially the two ponies you took from me. So here’s what they mean to me. What they meant. I loved them so much… Nimbus and Starry. So much that… I wanted them to be my mommy and daddy. Yet they’re gone now.” Soul spoke with a darkness in her little voice. “I just don’t care… what happens anymore. Until I get my dream back.”
12.49
She really did think this was the bravest thing she had ever done. But it had all become too real to her when Nimbus leapt in the air so quickly. Coming right down on her with huge open wings and a mouth filled with fangs hissing out at her, so quick Soul barely saw it. She let out her own wings and her strength, quickly flying up over the table and just before Nimbus landed down on where she had been. Looking up at her yet Soul couldn’t even react before her ears caught it and she turned in time to see Starry darting at her too.

I’m… actually fighting them. Soul’s mind went blank when she leaned to the side and flew out of the way. Starry shooting right past her, where she did the unthinkable. She brought the knife out and down upon him. Every intention to do whatever this would do.

I’m going to… Soul gasped and cried out when she saw a jolt of darkness cut across her face. Where she saw and felt the punch to her face. Starry’s hind legs bucked into her face. Feeling it ring inside her. Like the knife vibrating so violently in her mouth, she didn’t even think on if it could cut her mouth like that. It really could have with how she saw it fling out from her mouth and fly across the room. Leaving Soul alone with the beast next to her, which she turned towards in time to see.
12.50
Soul backed off right as his teeth came down to try and get her. Hearing his fangs slice the air. That could have killed me. I… Soul snapped out of it. No time.

Where is it… she heard the knife clang down somewhere behind her in the living room. Over to where it lay by the windows. But she cursed herself for taking so long. Just staring at the two monsters that recovered and turned to face her once more. Ready to strike her. Ready to kill her. That was what shocked her, but why?

I… I didn’t know this… wait! She couldn’t even ask them to before both Nimbus and Starry came in at her. From above and below. Soul, you have to… Soul screamed and dodged away from it. I gotta get away. I’m fighting them and I don’t even have anything to do it with. I got to do this. I need to kill them first. Just saying that word inside made her stomach almost revile from it. It didn’t stop her from flying away as fast as she could Arcing over the sofas and going right at where she saw the metal gleaming in the sunlight. Until she stopped suddenly.
12.51
Something grabbed her and she looked. Finding Nimbus with her hooves around Soul’s tail. Pulling her tail in and she felt so much pain with the hairs being yanked so hard and the weight of that pony bringing her down.

Oh Celestia! What should I…? It shut her up when she saw Nimbus gaping her maw at her, salivating at the filly she held back and her giant wings flapped against Soul’s own wings.

“Let go of me!” Soul kicked hard with her free leg, without even thinking. It connected. Her hoof slamming right into Nimbus’ face and that was what made her let go and freed Soul to flee. Leaving behind the furious Nimbus and something more when she could hear the roar of Starry coming in on her. I got to end this fast. Already feeling herself out of breath, yet the rush pumping through her. Overwhelming. Not able to let her stop.

“I’m going to kill you, whelp!” she heard Starry yell after her. Nopony ever told her that before. Really it was not something anypony should ever hear. Yet here she was right in that situation with no way out. Almost like night and day with how much things have changed. So much so that Soul felt herself dreaming of seeing these two die before her. So disgusting that she thought that terrible thing. Yet she still smiled when she reached the knife and brought it up in her teeth ready for anything they threw at her.
12.52
“Just try me!” Soul tried to say as defiantly as she could but inside she felt her legs giving and the tingles in her belly grow stronger. What with seeing Nimbus rubbing her cheek and then glaring at her with such hate and Starry floating above her ready to pounce.

The stallion looked so strong compared to her. Both ponies did. While a lone filly stared them down and did all she could to keep herself from losing it. Could they tell? Soul hoped not. She felt like she may soil herself right there with all the fear inside her and all the strength she had now draining away at the terrible realization that… this was not what she ever wanted in life.

What have I done to myself? She couldn’t answer it, her eyes growing wide when she saw it. Not quick enough.

Soul screamed when that mass fell upon her. Knocking away the knife once more to land at her side and Soul fell on to her back. Her wings spread and legs pierced in pain. So sudden. Finding herself pinned down by the massive stallion. His hooves down upon her legs, and she looked up. Up into his blue eyes staring down upon her with such a horrible smile on him. So horrible. Striking the total terror of death upon her, to see just how helpless she had become.
12.53
Nothing she did worked. Soul wiggled and put all the strength she had to try and move her legs. It only hurt more. Such a heavy pony on top of them. A single cry coming out of her. Frantically pushing herself left and right, desperate to get out of this.

“No going anywhere” those fanged lips said to her when she looked back up at the pony leaning down on her. Rid of his blue eyes, nothing but a hollow shell of crystal where they had been. As shallow and dead as true terror was.

“Get off me!” Soul lurched up her body and fell back down to the floor. “Get off!” Soul screamed so loud. There was the knife. To her left, just… laying there by her outstretched wing. Her feathers wildly grabbing for it. Such a long wing yet not long enough to get it.

No, it was too far. No! I just wanted… Soul winced when saliva fell upon her face. From the same gaping maw that had taken… Nimbus and Starry from her. Now here she was. As helpless as they had been. I’m going to die. I’m going to end up like them. No! She really did think she could do this. Of course not. I’ve never been able to do anything right.
12.54
Soul felt such a pressure in her eyes. She held them closed. Not wanting to see. If only I could kick him. If only I could do anything. If I were strong, but not at all. I’m just a stupid filly. Trying so hard to protect the ones she loved. Protect them and now… this is going to go just as she feared. I’ll never see Dashie again.

“Get off me, please” she begged. “I just want my life back.”

One without this fear. Without any of this. Her life had been so pleasant. So lovely. With lots to look forward to and so much joy she had. Where every day had been like a dream come true. Taken from her. Turned into this. And now I’m gonna die. In this… very familiar moment.

Nimbus… where are you? Please. Please save me. Like you did before. Save me. As she heard that terrifying hiss upon her. Almost able to feel it.
12.55
I never was strong.

Couldn’t even last a minute in this. I was so stupid to try. Now, she had thrown her whole life away. Her dream was gone. Nimbus and Starry were gone. Now she could not be there to protect Rainbow Dash.

I’m so sorry, Dashie. I never should have told you I hated you. It was a lie. If only I had not been so mad lately. I just want to be happy again!

Tell me what it is you want. What will make you happy?

I always did think about that. It just wasn’t till lately when she realized what she wanted. Taken from her. Forget staring out at the other ponies and all the fun they had. Forget being sad about mom leaving her. Forget the fact that she drove everypony away from her and killed her own dream. Life always did this to her, it was always the norm. Something she really hoped to end someday. I felt like I was so close to being happy, but… showing how much I love ponies is not enough to make them like me. To make me feel like they like me. It always ended up like this.

I love Nimbus. I love Starry. I love Rainbow Dash. Now they are all gone. Now I can’t get what will make me happy.

What is it?

Soul opened her eyes. Ignoring the sight in front of her. What I want. In the final moments of her life.

I want somepony who loves me.

Then you have her.
12.56
Starry stopped. Like he and the world held still before it all shattered in the sound that blistered Soul’s ears and screeched through the air, before she screamed. Her scream was drowned out by it.

An explosion. One of glass, the window above her tearing to pieces. So much glass, falling like the snow. A snowfall in the house wrapped in red. The glass became one with it, the red falling like water. Like a lance of fire blasting forth and carving through it all. Destroying the window so the Sun may shine through and snow came in. Splattering the entire wall in it. Dripping and flowing. From the wall and from… Starry.

Soul could not even tell what happened. Just to see the stallion fall upon her. Motionless. His huge head falling upon her chest with his eyes buried into her fur, stained in the red that flowed from… the huge hole… where his head should be.

Glass fell all around her. Around the stricken filly. Her eyes wide. All of it missing her. Crumpling around her. Soul did not think she should look… but she did. She craned her neck.
12.57
That… that was the window. Right above her, upon the wall she lay against. With a huge hole in it. Blackened in glass falling all around and more shards left dangling. Nothing but red plastered all over it. A stream of it.

The same color that she saw… flowing out of Starry. Through his wide, cavernous hole in his head. Seeing it all… inside… and then Soul could tell. Tell just how much of it there was. Covering her. Turning all her fur red. Splattered in disgusting things she could not even describe. Now that Starry was nothing but a lump upon her. Covering her body.

His legs spread and wings limp. Not a single move he made.

Starry? What…? Soul moved her leg. His head rolled off her. His whole body slumped. Revealing the blank, blue eyes that stared off into space. Nothing left in them as the red water flowed upon them. Soul couldn’t breathe. That was… how…?

Oh my Celestia. Her breath slowly coming back and then becoming like wild fire. When her heart finally beat as hard as it could, and it all came to her.
12.58
Soul screamed. At the top of her lungs. Kicking her hind legs and bucking the stallion off her.

He’s… he’s dead! The pony fell away from her and laid there upon his side. All of that… that blood trickling down his head. I’m covered in his blood! Soul looked all over her and screamed once again. All her beautiful fur turned to that terrible color. All of it flowing down from her. She felt something warm soaking between her hind legs and so much relief down there. Just like the pools of blood forming beneath her. All the pools that were fed by the blood flowing from the wall.

What just happened!?

Soul flung herself up. Desperately trying to get on her wings but both of them spasmed and she only fell over. Close to slipping on the blood soaking upon the cloudy floor. But she had no time to think. No time to even do anything. Just all the fear inside her when she stumbled in front of the dead stallion. Seeing him again. Staring into his… his eyes. As blue as the sky, turned to stone. Lost of their light.

She didn’t scream. Nimbus did.
12.59
The mare standing across from them. She was actually afraid. A Changeling terrified. With her hooves to her mouth and that horrible face she had back to that of the mare Soul recognized. Where she could see true terror in her eyes.

I didn’t… Soul wanted to say it. Something. But there was nothing to say. She didn’t even know what happened. Not before Nimbus ran. Galloping on all hooves for the front door.

“Wait!” Soul cried after. I don’t… she looked back and then heard it… in an instant.

A blaze of bright red wind. Slashing forth through her ears and ringing across the house. Like metal grinding upon metal. Faster than she could blink. Could even cringe at the sound. Then the mare screamed and the sound of wood collapsing. Where Soul turned and saw that… the front door falling upon the mare. The frame cleaved in two.

Nimbus fell and disappeared under the front door. Singed and smoldering. Its berth fell right off its hinges.

I don’t even… Soul gasped. She saw movement rolling towards her, really thinking it had been wood from the door. Coming to her. Then stopped. Covered all over in the same red that Starry was covered in, except… the golden fur that managed to stick out in that blood. In all four of them.

Nimbus’ legs.
12.60
Her legs… Soul shivered. Backing away from the sight.

What just happened?! All those sounds. They still rang in her head. Then all of this. What… Nimbus, Starry. Starry was silent. Nimbus… gone. Under the door where she saw little streams of blood come from under.

Now, now the house fell silent. Only Soul was the one who made a sound. A little whimper. The only thing moving in this house save for the snow settling in through the open door and the huge hole in the window. Burned through it where blackened cinders smoldered and cooled under the snow. That was all the filly could do. She had nothing left. Nothing to feel. Even fear left her. The entire world had stopped. Stopped for her. She was left to collapse. Fall upon her rear and sit there in a pool of blood.

All of the blood smeared across the house. Painted in it. A shadow of what this place used to be. Where Soul had felt so much love and comfort here. Turned to this.

She listened to the drops of blood coming down from her body. Blood that was not her own. The first time when she felt this… the feeling of another’s blood. She hated it. She wanted to scream. She wanted to run. Damn it. Her legs would not move. Nothing obeyed her. Nothing as her chest felt so much. The pain. The heartache. The weight lifting off it. Like something had left it. Released. Now… she felt it. The true pain inside her heart. With one last breath she made… before another cried out.
12.61
Nimbus screamed and the door flung off her with a flap of her huge wings. Revealing her. A panicked mare.

Her red eyes bleeding and blood dripping from her mouth. Coughing it up and then crying out again. She couldn’t move. It was true. …Nothing but stubs where her legs had been. All four gone.

Soul had never seen a pony without legs before. Never missing even one. She never had wanted to see it be this pony. To see her become so pathetic and helpless. Left to cry out for help and flail her bloody wings. A cry of pain. A cry of agony. Inside of the one voice that hit Soul’s ears and she remembered. All hitting her. This is not what I wanted. This is not what I wanted to ever hear. To ever see us become. Soul blinked. The wind roared once more. Hailed and screamed. The sounds of the air she had always loved. Drifting around her and drowning out the cries Nimbus made before they disappeared forever, and Soul’s last thing to ever remember her by… were her cries.
12.62
There was no way for her to tell what happened. When whatever it was burned through the air and scorched the ceiling. Just a spark of red. Gone before she knew it as it sliced forth upon the mare. More red liquid pluming out.

Soul’s heart skipped a beat. Blood splattered. So much of it. Ripping the air and flooding the walls. Turning the ceiling red. All of it from… Nimbus. The mare who fell forward and laid there. Still. Silent. Left… there.

Now… the house fell silent. Not silent to Soul. It echoed in her head. The screams of the ponies she had loved. Not sure what was happening to her. This pain… it never was this bad. Not since.

She held her chest so tight. Not since in the forest.

Nimbus. Starry. She looked up. Upon the corpse of Starry laying in front of her. Nimbus over there with both pieces of the door laying beside her and snow falling in upon her. Both of them torn to shreds. In an instant.

How did this… Soul cringed. Clinging on to her heart. So much pain. It hurts. It hurts so bad. Why?! I just didn’t want it to be this way. Why? Why did this have to happen?! Why did all of this happen?!

“Why!?” Soul cried out as loud as she could. Till her throat ran ragged. Her voice turned to rasp. Yet she didn’t stop. No way she could. When all the pain in her heart exploded.
12.63
What was it? Was it the sight of all the blood? The murderous cries in the air? What she had just seen? Whatever it was that made none other than a tear fall from her eyes. Not one of hate or pain. No. Soul, she felt… grief. Then another.

Soul sobbed. Just one look. She had to look away after, seeing that haunting scene. No! I don’t… she tried to run. Only falling over on herself. Looking back up to the walls. The walls she spent all her life in now painted in the blood of Nimbus and Starry. The moment when this, her home, was not her home anymore.

Everything was gone, and she just could not get it out of her head. With all the pain in her heart, none of it stopped. Stop it! I don’t want to see it anymore. But their eyes were in her head. Starry. Your eyes of the sky, as beautiful as a cloud. Shining of the stars. Ripped of all it. She would never see it again.

But… Nimbus.
12.64
She had the most gorgeous eyes. True suns. They always warmed her day like her golden body and lovely mane. Even if she had that scar. Even if Nimbus was so self-conscious. Soul always saw her as beautiful.

What was she now? What were they? Starry nothing but a body with his head… torn away. Nimbus. Your… your beauty. Not able to run anymore. The same slender back Soul had ridden on so many times, torn open all along its length. Blood flowing from the trench carved in her around… she saw it. Her charred spine.

…We were supposed to spend our mornings together. You guys wake me up. We eat together. Get ready and all of us get to leave to have fun. No matter what it was. Soul always loved it. Until her life changed entirely. When she made a friend. Like she really had a family. It’s all gone.

Nimbus and Starry. In the forest? Or here? Just left to remind her that they were gone. In the same house they always spent happy times in. Now she sat there crying to herself with the bodies of the two ponies soiled in their blood. Gone with the wind. Taken from her. So quick and without warning. She did not even know why. Why any of this happened. It was all over.

All gone.
12.65
Nimbus and Starry are dead. Her house torn apart. Rainbow Dash is… gone. It’s true. I caused all this. With the last of it gone, all the weight on her heart. Soul felt true pain inside her. One final cry coming from her mouth.

“Mommy! Daddy!” …Dashie… “Rainbow Dash!”

I love you all. It all slipped away. The cold was gone. Entirely. Her heart… felt warm. Even if it stung. I hate myself. No wonder everypony hates me. Even I do. I hate it. I hate it! I hate me! She should have never told Dash that lie, then none of this would have happened. It was wrong. And now they’re all gone. When all I want is a friend. When I don’t want to be sad. But that’s what life was to her now. It was true. Her life had finished. It was all gone now. Her dream… was gone.

All she could do was cry. Cry and miss everything. I miss it all. I miss everypony. I love them. Rainbow Dash was gone. Nimbus and Starry laid dead. All of it just to try and make Dash happy. Disappeared. All her chances. Like the last of the gusts of wind flowing through the house, the whispers of sorrow in them. The cold in her heart. Leaving just a small filly behind to deal with it all. To wish for the one thing she wanted too. Soul wanted to be happy as well.

I… I need to leave.
12.66
Soul wiped her tears. More just came. I don’t need anything else. She flapped her wings. They moved as she wanted. Taking her off the floor.

I don’t want to… she looked away from it all and flew right for the massive hole in the window, wailing and tears flowing from her eyes to rain upon the blood covered floor. Chilling in the winter air. Soul dashed out the window. Not looking back. Just ahead. Blood dripped onto her face from her drenched mane. She closed her eyes and ignored it all. Ignored the feeling. Ignored the blood.

…Ignored the ponies in front of her house. All the pegasi who she left behind, hearing their shocked cries until they disappeared.

Soul left them with it. She left it all behind. Never wanting to see it again. Never thinking she will have the strength to see it again. Doing what she always did. She fled. Fled for the one safe place she had. One place to feel like things were normal. Back when things were normal.

“I’m so sorry.” Goodbye.

I miss you all.
12.67
So… this is the place, huh?

Did not seem like it would serve what it now served as. So inconspicuous and pleasant. With the right amount of life in it. Vibrant colors and lovely scenery.

She looked out over the landing upon the clouds. Folding her massive wings back up from her flight. Just taking in the sight above it all and seeing this land out there. One so different now with all that has occurred. Like a veil had come over it. One only she had seen through the faces of the disheartened ponies of Cloudsdale and when she walked in. Past that destroyed doorway and got to see it all for herself. It would be best to forget it all. As much as she could. For now. It wasn’t right. Not something she should focus on when she needed to be strong enough to do this. For herself. For the city she looked out upon. With its vast and endless cloud expanses running to the horizon, torn through by the massive spires and towers of the great Pegasus city. Where the darker clouds hung high over it. A calm and beautiful winter day. Blanketed evermore in the snow coming down. That touched her back. A flake falling upon her nose. She ignored it. Ignored the cold.
12.68
So much grief inside her heart while looking out at it all. I come here so often, but I never knew I would ever come here feeling like this. To see the things I have seen. There it crept in again. Just so hard to forget it.

But I mustn’t get angry. Not now. This was not like any other situation. No. Not since I heard of it, I just can’t feel anger. It never came. Only pain in her heart. To see such tragedy befall the city. To see it effect so many. To see it effect the one she had a heavy heart for. No matter what she had heard. I just can’t get mad. She closed her eyes and looked away from the sight. Turning on towards what she had landed at. A break in the cloud walls surrounding the city. Where the waterfalls had turned to ice around it. A solitary hole that led down into darkness.

The ponies said this place was some sort of private sauna only a few were allowed to use. A place where pegasi could relax and have fun after a rough day of flying. Also… the last place she could think of now to look.
12.69
I’ve scoured this whole place for the past two days now. I’m so tired, but there is no time to sleep. I need to do this. This is one of the few places left from where everypony had said… she had flown off towards. A kind direction from the locals but she had to wave them off and say to them how she had to do this alone.

She was alone. Nopony around. None to join her as she trotted in through the opening and into the cavernous cloud sanctuary. She looked all around her. Stepping forth, amazed at this place. It was a lot brighter inside than it looked outside. Sunlight actually shone in. Following in her hoofsteps. Rays of light crisscrossing about her. Shining and gleaming along the walls and ceiling. Wait. No, that gleam was from… icicles. Hanging like long spears all along the ceiling. Like they threatened to fall off and skewer any below them.

She was not afraid. Intrigued. Really, this place must be beautiful. She could only imagine water streamed around here when it was warmer with how much ice was everywhere. Clinging to clouds all about. I really should come here to relax, but… she could tell, as she looked down the stairs that stood before her, the idea of it would be too much for her to handle.
12.70
This place made her feel more and more like… she was right. That made her gulp. Made her afraid. Down those stairs… must be something. A secluded place for ponies to rest. Safe from the wind and hailing snow.

So quiet. She heard her own breathing and her panicked whimper before she got the strength to step hoof down upon the stairs and she descended down into the depths of this place. Careful on the steps. Lots of ice. Though she could not stop looking all around her. Taking it all in. This place must be such a lovely thing for pegasi, even more for who she felt may be here. If she was here, this place must mean something to that pony. Something special. It really did feel safe down here from anything, and now she was here to break that calm with her heavy hoofsteps and flittering feathers upon her wings.

I just want this over, the pain is too much. Too much, she wanted to be there to do something. Something right… now that all the panic was strong in her mind. All the words she had heard, yet comfort still found its way into her heart. Enough to show it. Seeing the last step and the cloud wall below. Just as the pegasi had said. This place was an endless cavern of clouds. Walled in and few breaks in it. Yet there were places that one just had to look for. She was one of them. To find something more.

She pushed her hoof through and then stepped inside.
12.71
Incredible. It was so warm in here. Finding it truly to be a sauna. Even in the winter. Like she stepped into summer. Out of the icy air and into the bed of steam rising up and shrouding the air. Broken through from the Sun. One little ray of light coming down from high above, guiding her way. To step through the steam and look out onto a sight most wonderful. A lake, just as they all told her.

A lake inside of the clouds. Where it sat in endless warmth. So much, it felt even better than anything she had felt from normal saunas. A nice, warm and so very hospitable place for ponies to be. To relax and escape the cold. To see just how beautiful nature could be. I really wish I could come here more often. It only took her one quick look at it all to see how it was, and then staring forward to know for sure… this was one place she could never see again as her heart plummeted and all her fears were made so. All the sense of beauty in here… gone.

She lowered her head. Down to the banks of the lake she stood over. Listening to the water ripple and rock so subtly.
12.72
So it is true. It is all true. Just when she was starting to hope she may not find anything here. Anything this soon. Though it was bound to happen. Eventually, all of this would come to her and she would need to deal with it alone. But I have to do it. For all ponies… and one in particular. Most important to her after what happened.

A pony out in the water before her.

Deep in the steam. But she saw her. None other than a filly who sat across from her. Looking out upon the water that separated them both. Separate but not apart as both ponies stared out to one another.

She looked down upon her. The other pony looked up to her. As still as could be. A filly all alone out here. It had to be her. It had to be and her chest felt so much tighter. Forcing all she could to make a smile. To not show how broken she was. To watch any pony that she cared about become this.
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What should I do? She must be afraid. Terrified after everything. I am probably not the pony she wants to see after it all. I wish I could be. Oh… but I must be.

Even as they both stood there motionless for so long. With the wind howling outside and waterfalls crashing down all around them. Both frozen in a scene together. She could not run away. She knew this. And I don’t want her to run from me. I want to protect her. To protect all ponies. No matter what. That is why she lent a hoof out towards her.

“Come now, young one. It’s all okay. I won’t hurt you.” Silence. So silent. But I need to be there for her. I can’t give up.

“I know you are afraid. I know everything that you have been through has been a lot. This is not something a young pony like you should have to suffer. Even for just a moment… would you allow me to be there for you? After it all… you are still my little pony.”

She sat herself down. Giving the pony… her first real smile in so long. Regardless of the situation, she is still one of my youngest ponies. I can’t help but see her as anything less no matter what others say. I am open to her. She opened her hooves to her. Pleased to hear the water shift.
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The filly rushed forward. Panting behind the steam. Her shadow growing more and more. Coming right towards her. I’m not afraid. I can’t be. Not of the sweet thing that ran through the steam. A filly as innocent looking as any other she had ever seen before. Her magenta fur. Her silver and violet tipped mane.

You must be her. You are her.

She smiled for the filly. Holding herself still for when the filly did something she knew her to do. No reason to be afraid of her. Only to pity her. The filly hugged her. Threw herself right into her hooves and did all she could to try and clench her tiny legs around the large body she tried to hug. Even for a moment, I’ll be there for you. I promise, as she listened to the filly weep beneath her. Burying her face into her fur.

This must be the most comfort you have gotten in so long. I’m so sorry. I just hope… I’m not the last to be there for you. She wrapped her huge, white wings over the filly. Circling her hooves around her, careful to keep her adorning regalia upon her hooves from poking at the filly. She held the crying pony close. Hushing her. Staying like that for so long. I’ll give you the comfort you want. As long as you need it. But a time will come when we must go. Together. Back out into a world gripped in fear, yet she was able to feel all that fear leave her and warmth in her heart. A brief respite. From the most unlikely of ponies to give her a little happiness on top of the massive grief she felt deep down. Knowing what needed to be done. Later. For now, just rest.

She looked down upon Soul Serenity.

“You will always be my little pony” Princess Celestia said to her.
-----
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Her head was pounding. That knocking sound, it rang so much, sure didn’t help it.

How drowsy she was, the entire world spun and her dizziness settled. Finally. Enough for Soul to see again. See the same sight once more. Nothing changed. Staring up at the pale white ceiling. Not a cloud in sight. So unlike anything like a Cloudsdale home. But that’s just how it was.

This just wasn’t Cloudsdale. Not anymore.

Yet every time she saw this, it only reminded her of home. How much she missed it. Waking up to it once more. In a room that was not her own. The ringing in her head died off. Slowly. Just a dull ping left from all directions. Her only company. The only sound that broke from the monotony. She closed her eyes. Opened them again. Nothing changed. Soul Serenity still found herself in the same world she had been in for so long now. The quiet. The loneliness. All of it came back to her. Revealing herself to be back inside a life she did not enjoy waking up to. As much as she hated to, she kept her eyes open. Laying against the soft pillow gently caressing her head. Awake to another. The day, as she had heard. Though she still did not know what it meant. She hardly knew much of anything about it all anymore. Just that her head hurt and her back chafed.
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Soul sat up. Slowly leaving that lovely pillow. Finding the golden blankets laced in fine black and red stitches there covering her up. Keeping her warm all night long in the winter chill of the land. Sometimes that cold got in and really did drop the temperature.

She was almost mistaken right there. For a moment, like so many other times, she thought this may be her own bed. No. Of course not. Wherever that was, long gone. This bed kept her just as warm. Just as soft. Yet she hated it. Luxurious and beautiful. It just wasn’t right at all. But that’s just how it was. How all of this was. Waking up, not in her own bed, to find herself in this room once more as every day that passed. Three walls of pure white. Combed in beautiful banners of blue to blanket the walls. Shining so bright. The sunlight hit her.

Soul covered her eyes for a moment and then she looked. Back out to a scene she missed. Out through the one window in its thick glass. To see the sky once more. My only friend. How I miss you. Soul sighed. I really just don’t want to. Her legs moved though. What else was there to do? Hard to do much when she felt this pitiful.
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She kicked her blankets off. Hearing something fall to the floor which made her jump and then calm when she saw what it was. A book. The one she had been reading before she passed out last night. Nothing special. Just another one of the many history books that lined the shelves of the bookcase at the far end of the room. Not like the flight books she so very missed to read.

She didn’t bother to put it back. She only fell upon all four hooves next to it when she dropped down. Hearing the clanging behind her when she moved. She didn’t care on it. Hearing it a million times now. Every time she moved. I just wish I wouldn’t need to hear it. Even for one day.

Soul frowned deeply. Just to get that feeling again. The one I want. The filly stepped forth towards the window. Always being her one source of comfort. Coming close each day to sit before it and look out at the sky. For hours. Just thinking. Just dreaming. It was a beautiful day out there. The Sun was shining deep inside the thick cloud layer up there in the giant skies that showed her their beauty, like their own good morning to her. The snow still fell. A lot. Some days it came down so bad that the window was blanketed in it. Most days, it did this.

Just a gentle fall. Enough to keep the outside fresh in a layer of snow, she bet… if only she could see what it was like outside. The window too tall. Locked in place, she found no way to even move its thick berth. Only there to show her the world outside like it mocked her.
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It really did, every day. Yet she always came here to sit before it. The most enthralling thing in her life. Even if she hated it. Just because it gave her that one little glimpse she wanted of the world she so deeply missed. One of open skies. One of freedom. For her to fly through once more. How long has it been?

That’s right… two months.

Two months since she last felt… that air out there. How it went through her feathers. Kissed her cheek. Give her some pride of being a Pegasus. Pride in her talent. I really want to again. Soul didn’t cry. It was something she cried so much over for weeks at first. I’m used to it now. Didn’t change that she wanted it. How I would love to spread my wings once more and enjoy that loving touch the sky always gave me. The one friend who never left me. Not like everypony else.

Instead, I left it. Until the day… Soul put her hoof upon the wall beneath the window. Looking up to it. The day I can fly in that lovely sky once more. I just don’t know for how long. For how very long. Her wings ached. Really wanting to stretch them. Exercise them. She still remembered all the techniques she had learned. But the chances of practicing them now gone, it ate at her.

It’s my punishment. Something Soul had grown to accept. Because she was a bad pony. Bad to all who had ever known her and bad to herself. That’s why I got these.
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Soul looked back upon what it was that clanked loudly when she tried to move her wings once more. The reminder that her life was not hers anymore. Not when she couldn’t fly. Not when she was held back. Both her wings held inside steel. The long brace that encased them entirely, never to be seen. It felt a little tight today.

Her wings really were hurting and her back was sore. Laying on this thing was not fun at all. Not being able to move her wings, it hurt too. Not so much physically. But it hurt so much. She hated to look at it. Hated to see it there. A constant reminder of her mistakes. Of her stupidity.

I deserve it. She tried to spread her wings once more and only heard them hit the shell inside. Its only right for my dreams to be taken from me. Even if what I did was right. Soul never let go of that thought. All this time. All the blood and fear. All the pain and tears. Suffering it all for something that was right even as it haunted her memories. Haunting so deep, it was all she had left of that terrible day. I… I killed them. I killed those two.

I did it for the right thing.
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What would be the point of going on if she knew she had failed? Failed to keep hold of what she vowed to do. To do anything. Anything for that one pony.

Soul looked outside once more. The one pony who was out there. Somewhere. Free. Happy. All because of me. Not a day went by when Soul wondered if that pony would be happy now if she had not done what she did. She gets to fly freely. Pursue her dreams. Make friends and live. Live with her family. Live with joy. While I stay in here. Because nopony listens. That’s okay though. I deserve this.

After all, I was a terrible friend to that pony. Something Soul will never forgive herself for. I threw away my life, my happiness, my family. All for her happiness. And I didn’t even prove to be a good friend to her.

Now, Rainbow Dash could live on, living with the last words Soul had told to her. That I hate her. Never the truth. Otherwise I wouldn’t be hurting for you. I wouldn’t sit here every day and wonder how you are doing. Are you awake now? If so, how long have you been? Are you out there training? Did Windy… give you a kiss goodbye this morning? The perfect family that Soul missed. The life they had that she was no longer a part of. As long as I’m stuck in here.

I made them all leave me. Soul was never wanted. Never loved. Dash said it herself. She hates me. She should. I hate me too. I mean, what idiot would force their own best friend to abandon them? Me. So that’s why I’m here. Soul looked past her wings and turned around. Facing the last and darkest wall of this room she had to herself. A constant reminder of her failures. Of her pain. Of how much she was hated. The thing that kept her from the world she missed so much and the life that was gone forever.

Bars.
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Locking her away forever.

Soul stepped back up to those same bars. These bars so tightly packed together, she could only stare out of them and into the empty hallway beyond. Where few came and went. None who would talk to her. Leaving the filly all alone in the comfort of her silent room. Soul sniffled. Staring down at her hooves. I really wish I had a friend right now. I really wish I had not been so stupid. This was her punishment. Well aware of what it was.

Imprisonment. Because… they all call me a murderer. When all I did was the right thing. Nopony will ever understand. It didn’t matter. I have nopony left for me. Everypony hates me and my best friend is gone forever. She will never get to know the life I have now. How so very sad she was. Deep inside. Where her heart ached every day, and Soul just no longer cared about anything else. Just focusing on that one pain inside her, greater than that of anywhere else. I go from a life of joy with ponies who love me… to this. Just shows… nopony ever loved me.

Soul looked up and eyed him. Especially him. A stallion trotted down the hallway towards her. Looked like he held a plate in his mouth. She knew what that meant. Really the only nice thing she could ever expect for herself anymore. To them all, to all ponies, I’m just something to hate. I should be used to it by now. Her own mother hated her. Rainbow Dash hated her. Still, she didn’t like it. I just want somepony there for me. No… I’m always meant to be a bad pony.
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Soul sat down before the bars and waited. Keeping her head low. Not out of pain. She was afraid. As the hoofsteps grew louder. Till they stopped before her. Nothing came.

She flinched. Anticipating something. Anything. Keeping her eyes closed. Truly becoming a defenseless filly as she always was. But it was true. Nothing came to her. No pain or hurt inside her. No insults hurled at her, words to make her cry. Nothing even struck her.

She just lifted her ears when the plate touched the floor before her. Scared at first of the sound. Sounded so close to when she was sent flying across the floor and left to cry against the wall with a scar on her forehead. Or was that another pony who did that? They all looked the same to her. They all did the same to her. How nice of them, Soul thought as she slowly opened her eyes once more. Nice how they do not do any of that stuff when… when she is around. Princess Celestia. Just… another pony she grew to know as no different from any other.

The princess hates me too. No matter how sweet her voice is. No matter how often she comes by and tries to talk to me about stupid things like life or books or even food and cakes. There was not one pony out there who didn’t hate her. She was so happy… to not be struck right now.
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Soul got her food when the plate that the pony had been holding was let down and pushed in through the bars for her. Soul only looked at it and then, with much hesitation, she looked up at him. Another one of the armored guards she always saw in this place. Every day, a new one each time. Though they all wore the same golden and black studded armor all along their entire bodies. Shining bright in the light and reaching up to their rimmed helmets where she barely saw his eyes looking down at her. Vacant eyes that just didn’t move or care with seeing her.

None of these guards really cared for her. She came to know that. Probably just want to see me hurt and sad all the time. “Eat” he said in a hushed voice and then he trotted off from her. Leaving her there alone to watch him leave, though she was still shocked that she had not been struck, and so very relieved.

Yet, as she looked down at her food, she bit her lip. Just a plate of food. She… she wanted to ask.

“Can…” a long pause. Rare did she speak in here, her voice was a little ragged and she had to clear it. “Can I have some water, please…?” I hate eating without something to drink… or having to go the past day without anything to drink. That question actually made the guard stop and look back. With the same unfeeling look she grew to accept from them.
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“Her majesty said for you to eat so you will only eat. Go on now. You have a big day, freak.”

I’m not… a freak. Soul lowered her head as he walked away. “I’ll be back when you’re done. The princess wants to see you” he called back to her. They are always so mean. All because I did something bad… but it was the right thing to do. None of them will ever understand. None seemed to anyways. Leaving only Soul there to believe that what she did was what needed to be done to save the one pony out there she still loved. She still missed. That I hope to see again.

I really want to leave this place, she looked down at her food. Eat the food I miss and… not this crap. But to eat with Dash once again. Like we did on Hearth’s Warming Eve. Such a long time ago. Felt like forever. But it won’t happen, will it? At least… I would love for her to come and visit me. Not the princess again. So I get to see her again today. Great.

I really don’t care anymore. About anything. Anything other than what she believed. I… killed those monsters for her. To save a pony. I just hate how everypony hates me for it. The one right thing I have ever done in my life. Still a mistake. Soul sighed so slightly. It’s not worth being sad over. Though she felt a little tear on the corner of her eye.
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I will always be this. A sad pony all alone in this place. Never to feel like anypony loves me. That’s all I ever wanted. It was enough to make her look lifeless. Sitting before the plate and then reaching down to eat the steamed greens and fruits she had been given.

Better than her normal food here but it was all the same to her. Eating alone, left in here forever. To always feel sad. To never smile again. Like it has been. For how could she ever be happy again?

She finished it all up and wished to have something to drink now. Well… at least the princess is coming. Maybe she would be nice enough to get me something. She always was giving to her. Until then… more of the same. Soul left the plate and went back to her bed. Having not even the strength to try and climb up. She just fell down next to the bedside and curled up. Hearing the rattle of the metal around her wings as it banged against the bed. All because she tried to cover herself up with them. Left to only use her long tail to wrap herself up and lay there for so long. Like every other day.

I don’t want to read. I don’t want to do anything. Not without the life she had lost. It's gone. Gone forever. How much I miss it. I just would like there to be a day where somepony came and hugged me. I want a hug. Right now. I want to lay in my own bed. I want to eat food that was made for me. From ponies that care about me. I want to fly again.

But most importantly, she wanted her friend again.
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Soul opened her eyes, thinking she may have whacked the metal brace on her against something, but no. The loud clank that startled her was actually… the bars… sliding open. Princess? Soul sat up. Finding not the princess, but two of the guards. Strong in their looks with such long horns upon their heads.

You’re… oh no, please don’t hurt me. They looked so strong to her. Such frightening stallions. Really… I just want to go home. I hate being here, always afraid. I hate it. Please. She heard them walk towards her from out her closed eyes and she backed against the bedside. Folding up again and hiding under her hooves.

“Don’t hit me…” she begged of them. I don’t like it. It hurts… please. Rainbow Dash, where are you? I want you with me again. The only time I didn’t feel afraid… was with you. I’d give up everything for you.

“Get up” she heard one of them say above her. Soul didn’t even get a chance to get up, not before two hooves slipped under her chest and forced her onto her hooves. That was what made her open her eyes once more to see the guard pointing ahead for her. “Time to leave.”

She eyed the open bars ahead of her and then a gentle nudge to her rump. Making her finally walk. Stumped as to why. Followed right after by both guards. But… why? What is going on? Soul stopped at where the room ended and hesitated to even set hoof outside of the bars. Am… am I being allowed to leave? Another push to her rear. She kept walking, then realizing she set hoof outside the bars for the first time since she came here. She was walked off. Into the hallway and away from that lonely room.

Wherever she was going, she did not know. To be honest, she didn’t care either. Sadly trudging along where she was sent off to. Thinking to herself just how much she wanted things back to normal. She knew that they never will be. Nopony wanted her. Everypony abandoned her. Her mind went blank. The first tear finally fell from her face. Rainbow Dash hates me. So really… all of this… I deserve whatever comes to me.

But I really don’t want it.

None of this.
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I really want none of this. Yet here she was dealing with it on a day she had not been looking forward to for so long. Since the day she had to bring the filly here to the castle. Just knowing that once the word got out, that things would all lead to this. In a scene she had not been a part of for so very long.

Within the glimmering throne room she had not had to use for such a thing for so very long. Except there was one big difference. Long ago, it was in another throne room. Not this one. But now, now this one got to see the same thing. Give her the same feel as it haunted her.

Princess Celestia looked to the high ceiling above the throne with its panes lighting the halls in the sunlight that pierced through the sheets of snow that began to reform over the castle. Like the Sun she had to look up to long ago for this same thing. Lacking that shroud of darkness eclipsing it. Gone full circle again. Those memories hurt. But she really did not want to do that. To repeat the same thing. None of this bode well for her. For her happiness.

Really, did any of them even know just how much this put on her? How much it made her upset. The ponies all spread about within the throne room. Atop the stands and booths all along the walls to overlook the open chamber below from which she presided over. Dozens of ponies. Talking among themselves. Shaking their heads and just exposing how much this all affected them. Such is the case for something like this.
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Just incoherent chatter. Ramblings of dignitaries and emissaries from all across Equestria. Filled with the same venomous tongue that made her flinch.

The air felt heavy in here. Noticeable, for this room she overlooked each day never had this feeling before. She couldn’t blame them all. All these ponies. Really… the same things she got to deal with for two months now. So many sleepless nights. So many harsh meetings and angry complaints. Celestia was exhausted. She did all she could to not show it. Keeping her luscious wings as vibrant as ever and her rapturous crown to shine perfect behind her horn. As golden as her smile she faked to every pony who passed her waved. Off to take their seats. To find their booths to watch over this decision to be made. Whichever one should be made.

They all had something to say to her. Weeks and weeks of demands and requests. Hitting at her mind and reminding her just how big a situation she was in now. Because this situation was unlike any other. Over something that had not been seen in Equestria for centuries. All from… a little girl.
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That poor and frightened thing. All I did to keep her safe and keep her company. Yet I know I can’t protect her forever. These past two months had been impossible to make that happen. Three guards now she had to punish for finding out what they did to the filly when Celestia did not look. However many more may still do it… she dreaded it.

All these ponies in here she could tell felt the same sympathy as those guards.

I just hate it. All the anger she felt daily from it and how sad she was to know what the filly was going through. She only wanted it to end for her. For ponies to see reason. It may be too late. “Well I heard her home was blocked off and nopony is allowed there. Quite a gruesome sight.” Celestia’s ears perked. Turning slightly towards her left where she could spot the ponies in the booth closest to her talking among themselves. “She honestly doesn’t deserve a home, the wretch should rot forever.” “That may be too kind for the likes of her.”

Really? Celestia lowered her head. This is what ponies come to… when fear takes them. As she had seen for so long now. Wherever she looked. Like she did now, staring across all the many ponies within the chamber and their roars and chatter rumbling the throne she sat upon. Ponies from all over. Manehattan. Vanhoover. Los Pegasus. No place was safe from the same fear and hate she had to deal with towards the filly as the news spread far and wide.

“If only it had not come to this…” Celestia whispered to herself. My own throne room to become this place where fear and hate flourish. Even she felt it. I just can’t get out of it. Despite all I tried to do.
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The great doors at the end of the chamber closed shut with a resounding bang. More of the guards quick to line up around that doorway in their stalwart lines. The ponies who had just came in must be the last of the dignitaries. No more will be allowed in now. The guard was on point. Surrounding the chamber now. The biggest lineup of guards she had seen the captains enforce. Like they turned her own throne room into a military parade. All for safety… apparently. No, she knew it was to keep the guests here feeling safe.

Terror can really grip powerful ponies. Especially when they saw the ghastly sights of the corpses… and heard what had been seen. Enough to make even Celestia’s stomach churn when… when she had to go to the scene itself. She had talked to so many. The same ponies lots of the other officials here had talked to as well. All of them learning what had happened, and… oh joy. Celestia frowned seeing him before her even spoke.

“Your majesty, oh I humbly thank you for hosting this little council” a stallion garbed in black over his shining scarlet coat said, none other than one of the two ponies she had the honor of accompanying together to see the sight themselves. The mayor of Baltimare. One of the many guests from across Equestria. Come to greet me before making me go through with this?

Celestia tried her best to smile to the stallion who came before her on his way to… what she hoped was his seat so he would be out of her sight. “Perhaps afterwards you and I can go for a drink to celebrate the decisions to be made here” he spoke as he passed. As cold as he had been when they had to be together to see the scene.
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“After all… I trust you will make the right decision” he grinned. “I wouldn’t want my son to inherit these problems. Or to live in the same land as a monster like that.” That did make her flinch. I hate that word. So mad she could not put him in his place now in front of all these ponies. Or she was just too tired to do so. She no longer knew. Only wanting it to be done.

“Greetings, sir” she tried to express any joy left in her. “I’m glad you made it and am flattered… but I will have to pass on that offer. Please take your seat.” He giggled. Headed off to his own booth. “Prove them all wrong… dear princess.” “My decision will be my own” she informed him. No matter… what you all think.

Even if this all had to happen. Even if I need to deal with it. I can at least still feel for her, which was impossible to lose. After all, she is just a little filly. One of my young subjects. No matter what is said, I can only feel pity. Even as I have to do this.

Celestia stood up off her thrown and came up to the podium before her. Atop that pedestal rising high over the chamber floor. Where her shadow came over it all, and silence began to fall with them all noticing her. She set her hooves down. There is where I must be… to make my decision. Normally, papers would be here upon this podium. None this time. She needed nothing to tell her what to say. Though she had no idea. So many voices. I feel I am right, yet he is right too. Really, what should I do? She looked to her side and wondered.

What would you do… sister?
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“Trust what you believe in, your majesty.” Breaking her out of her gaze. Finding it was not the voice she had thought it to be, but it was familiar. From a mare who stood before her. The last of the guests. None other than the other pony she had escorted too through the scene in Cloudsdale.

“Ms. Mare, I’m… actually glad you made it” Celestia said to the pink maned pony. “I wouldn’t leave you to deal with this alone” the pony said to her. Really, one of the few voices of reason she could listen to here. The few ponies who she could be around and not feel so broken over all this. She was happy to have the young mayor of Ponyville here. Always such a sweetheart even during tough times. If only we had time to talk.

“Thank you so much for coming, I really did need a friendly face for all this. Its… been tough” Celestia told her. “I can only imagine what it’s like, but you had to make these decisions before… just this time, you have a friend you can count on.” Ms. Mare placed her hoof upon the pedestal and then turned off on her way. Not before saying one last thing. Something that shook Celestia to her core. “Do the right thing instead of what fear tells you to do.”

You mean… like back then? So very long ago.

Decisions, decisions. Yet she had to make one. But would it be right? Either that… or what everypony else demanded her to do to a filly. A mere filly. I hate to make any choice, but I have to. For the ponies of my land. And… for her. Strange for the alicorn to once again feel some sort of comfort from the simple earth pony. Yet Ms. Mare always managed it. Even if it was a little unsettling. “Thank you, dear. I’d love to have a drink with you later” Celestia said after her. “I think we will both need it after this” Ms. Mare nodded back to her with a frown and went off to her booth. Yes. We do.

Like that, …it all fell quiet. The last pony to arrive. All knew their place. As did Celestia. The princess dreaded it. But… now that all were here… it could begin.
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Silence preceded the clank of heavy doors opening. All turned to it. Towards the doors that flooded sunlight in behind the princess. Behind the throne. Opening up this scene to a lone figure who stood in the shadow of the alicorn. Both of them reunited once more, though neither could smile.

Celestia turned away, unable to watch the filly gripped in terror upon her face. Then whimpering when the filly was made to move onwards by the guards. Neither could lock eyes. There were no bars to keep them apart now, but they felt so far apart. As she got to witness such a young and beautiful pony forced to step past her. Made to stand before all the ponies around here.

Poor Soul Serenity. Though I feel I am the only one here who feels that way. All the council she held with these dignitaries. All the meetings and inquiries. For her to see how much they truly did despise this sweet filly. Surprising how quiet the room stayed. So solemn when both ponies caught glimpses of the other as Soul passed.

Celestia there to see the pain inside that tired, young face. How pathetic she had become. With her wings chained behind her and damp streaks along the fur of her face. It made the princess’ own heart weep. That this needs to be done to her. That I need to do something for this filly. Something neither of us will like. I would much rather do something else. When Soul was herded in front of Celestia. Standing all alone as the guards left her. The filly in the middle of the entire chamber. Trembling on her hooves. The Sun upon her. All eyes surrounding her. Looking up to the princess. Like she begged for help. Not knowing what was happening at all.

I would much rather comfort you. Sit you down and read to you… like I did the first night she came here. Those times were all gone. Now, now both ponies were here. Not alone together in a room upon a cozy bed. But staring up and down at one another with the eyes of the land upon them both. A land that hated this filly.
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Months of review. Months of planning and talks. Of investigation and questioning. Some of the longest nights Celestia had ever dealt with. Why she was always so tired. So broken. The more and more she learned, the closer it came to this day. To this moment when the alicorn had to stop being the joy she wanted to be in this pony’s life and become the one who would stare down upon her. Where Soul was busy staring across the large chamber at all the ponies who stared at her. All these ponies she didn’t even know and Celestia just wondered if the filly could sense the harsh tone in the air like she could right now. Now that everypony got to see the one who they all had heard of. To see she really was nothing more than a child. All coming just to see whatever it is I decide to do with her.

Though I know exactly what they want me to do.

The question was, should she even let the filly know? For how else was she to… punish this pony? Like any stern mother who disciplined their child. She really wished it would be left at that, just a lecture of the child. No. It cannot be.

As Celestia slammed her hoof upon the pedestal and rang it loud across the chamber. Turning all to her but, most of all, making the filly jump to turn towards her. Back to where she felt heartbroken at seeing the pain in her face and the fear inside of her. Two long months. Finally leading up to this moment. I’m sorry.
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“Mares and gentlecolts of Equestria” Celestia sounded out over them all. Forcing any semblance of strength out in her voice. “I have brought all of you here today, as per your requests and the decision I have made for myself, to bring this matter that has shaken all of us to a close. In whatever way, it remains to be decided. Heeded by all your counsel and advise, I seek to make the final choice today.”

She looked out across all the many faces who looked upon her. From all over Equestria. From Ponyville’s Earth ponies. Canterlot’s unicorns, and the fellow pegasi from Soul’s own city. All walks of life. All across the land, as all of Equestria would know what it was that would happen here today. Along with the guilt inside Celestia that she kept hidden from them all of forcing this poor filly out in front of all of them. The little pony unable to even move. Like a defiant stand before her, if Soul had not been shaking.

No, all she could do was stand and wait for the princess. Not at all knowing what was happening, but she no doubt knew what it had to do with. Soul always had done a good job of appearing so mellow and lost whenever Celestia had seen her, but it was obvious there was a deep pain inside her. If only I knew what caused it. Soul just never would talk to her. Just know what it is and learn why it was you did what you did.
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Celestia paused for so long. Seeing that she was stalling. She stopped. Looking back up at them all. “It is my hope that… on this day, something right can be made out of all the wrong that has affected all of us. As your princess, I…” she gulped. Just unable to stare Soul in the eyes without feeling like such a cruel pony. Without even trying to. To do something right, not just for Equestria, but for the pony before her too. After all, this pony was one of her subjects.

“It is with a heavy heart… that I must carry out this process.” She spoke sadly. Able to hear a small chatter amongst the crowd now knowing her feelings on this. Very well. I need to speak my mind freely. I need to know for sure. As it was just getting too hard to make the right choice. What every pony wanted me to do. To a child. I… I just can’t… not yet.

She was always a quiet filly and so reserved. Even so, there being something in her that made Celestia always pause before leaving her to her cell. She slammed that hoof down again. The sound of metal from her golden horseshoe against the podium silencing all. Meant to silence them. Not to scare Soul.

Where Celestia returned to seeing just who it was before her. A defenseless filly with her wings tied behind her. Whom never did speak to her though the princess wanted her to. Now more than ever.

I want to know.
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“Such a burden I feel to do this… I simply can’t without first doing something” she spoke to all. She cleared her throat. “On this morning, I stand before Soul Serenity of Cloudsdale and extend my hoof to her… not as her princess, but… as a friend who only wants to know the truth. Will you accept it, Soul and listen to me?”

The princess rose a hoof over the podium towards the pony down before her. So much silence as the entire land watched and waited alongside the princess in seeing just what it was that unfolded here. When today was meant to be a punishment, I seek only to delay it… or even to end this day another way.

Please, Soul… will you listen to me? She had no idea on what to expect. If the filly down there would walk up and even place her own tiny hoof to Celestia’s larger one. Some miracle out of all these days and weeks of misery. Yet I expect that out of a terrified pony who has lost everything and knows only pain in this world. This world she does not belong in anymore. Unless something can be done. For once. For you to tell me. I stalled this day for too long, now is the last chance I can give you. Soul did not move. The filly just waited and watched. Dumbstruck even. As expected. But she never let her eyes off the princess. Nopony spoke.

Do I have my chance to speak?
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“We have all had to bear witness to the reality of what has happened to our land. Something that has never been seen for hundreds of years. Two months ago, two ponies were found slain in their home in Cloudsdale. Nimbus Swiftshot, a proud mare who headed the Junior Speedster’s flight camp’s young trainees. Along with her husband, Starry Veil, assistant and private trainer at Junior Speedster’s. A scene very few of you had seen, and a scene I wish nopony more would have to see.” Such as I.

“These two young pegasi had their lives cut short in the most dreadful of manners that Equestria had thought itself to be rid of long ago. Both ponies were beloved by their students and valued by all of Cloudsdale as champions of the youth and future flyers of Equestria. Wonderfully skilled flyers and kind souls. Kind enough to adopt a young filly into their home. Where they devoted themselves to training her, nurturing her, and giving her a path in life.” Like a truly beautiful sense of family Celestia had got from them from all the words she had heard. A dream life. Made her wonder so much how lovely the dream had been… now that it was gone. Cut so short.

She couldn’t believe it to be true if she had not seen and heard all that she had to lately. It took a toll on her. To see such tragedy befall her land. Reminded her so much of herself.
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“Soul Serenity stands before me as that adopted filly. …Accu…” Celestia hated this so much. She had to finish this. She had to do this. But one last chance. I need to. I need closure for this pony. The one thing nopony else would give her.

“Accused of… taking the lives of the two who had… cared for her.” Her tongue rolled up after that. Looked like everypony noticed how hard it was for her to say all this. It was. Taking life. It just can’t be. But she had seen it all. All these ponies had heard of it all, and as much as they would like to see her deal with this, she would do this first. “I offer you the chance to speak to me… as I have wanted you to. To tell me what it is that is on your mind. What it is that bothers you. Why all of this happened. And what it is that you are holding back from me. Soul Serenity, I offer you the chance to speak for yourself in front of the land. But, most importantly, to me. As I am the one who sees differently.”

She addressed them all. “I came to you many nights and spoke to you. Spent time with you to learn more about you and, while you never spoke to me on it, I could see you were something more than what we all have come to see. I could see there is something… inside you. Something you are holding back. As the pony who wants to help you, I will listen to you. Tell me.”
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That was what caused the uproar. So many of the dignitaries standing up in their seats to yell out at this. At what the princess wanted. To hear Soul speak. Celestia closed her eyes. “She doesn’t deserve to speak!” “You think you can trust her?” “She killed them!”

I really don’t know anymore. Know what to do. Who was right? So many ponies had seen Soul do it. Too many. A weapon had been found there covered in so much blood, and the unicorns had found it to be used by… this filly. But that was it. She was just a filly. Pulling off that… scene? That is what left her torn. To do what the land needed or… to do what Celestia needed. Help me decide, Soul. Help me ignore it all, even as Celestia drowned out all the noise and heard only the faint taps of small hooves upon the floor. Of a filly stepping toward her. One step, two. Then she stopped. Terrified. Celestia could tell.

“Silence” she spoke softly. Somehow reaching all their ears. Everypony slowly falling silent with only a few hushed whispers that too died off. It is my decision to make.
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Opening her eyes once more to the filly. To turn to her and let her see that, right now, it was only her and the princess. Like every other time. No different. So please, talk to me and tell me what is wrong. What had happened? Without it, nothing would change. Even when I really want for her dream to come back. A dream that all young ponies want. Whatever hers is, I don’t want to take it. But all these voices. All this hatred towards the filly.

Help me calm it, Soul. So you may get that dream back.

Soul only slid a hoof over her leg. Staring down at the floor. Just seeing her little eyes looking out left and right upon all the ponies around them. I know it’s hard. She must feel it too. The hateful looks in here. How hard it was to breath in here. With such suspense in it all. She wanted to find the end of it as much as Celestia wanted. So please talk to me.

“It’s okay, Soul. It’s just you and I. You can tell me anything.” She only heard the filly whimper. A sound that made the princess cringe. Even worse than the tears she had seen on the filly before. Nothing more could make her pity the pony more than that. Extend her hoof out to her once more as time passed. Silence settling yet the storm in here did not die. Yet each moment was like a knife to Celestia’s chest. Till it became hard to breath without feeling the heaviness on her heart. Growing so as the filly stayed quiet.
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“You can trust me.”

Soul turned to Celestia. Upon hearing those words, the little pony perked her ears. Where she could find that she really was not alone. Celestia made the choice. She stepped down from the pedestal. Away from the podium. Onwards down to stand with Soul. “I know you are afraid” she said to the filly. Stepping closer. Doing her best to show just how it was that she was calm with Soul. That Soul should be calm with her.

“I know things have been tough for you and you have gone through a lot. Trust me, I understand… what it’s like to go through so much turmoil.” I still feel the pain all the time. Though she always did a good job at hiding it. She wondered if the silent filly knew what it was she referred to. One last thing she wanted to show to the filly, to prove to all that we aren’t so different. She has every right to be afraid, and so do I. I don’t want to let her feel hopeless here. Hopeless while I feel so backed into a corner. A corner that grew tighter for Celestia as all watched her. Expected of her.

If only she had something to show them all. So Soul can go back to who she was. To what she had before.
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“I lost my own sister. My little sister, the… the very pony who loved me so much. Who was always there to protect me and help me. My one and only family. We did everything together. We played and learned. We attended get togethers and dress rehearsals. Fought one another with food one time. We made quite a mess together.” She smiled remembering that all. “Such happy times that we had together. But… I still lost her. And it was my fault.”

Look into my eyes, Soul. Celestia looked down at her. Look and see just who it is that is your princess. Not something you should fear, but a pony much like you. I may have wings and a horn and status, yet I won’t let it make you feel fear. Right now, I am just like you. This last moment for us to have together. “I never even knew just how sad she truly was. My dearest sister… I miss her so much. So much.” Celestia fought back a tear.

So long. I only hope to see her soon. For me to apologize to her. “And it is all because of me that I feel this way. Even after everything, I still was the one who sent her away. And I regret it so much. Yet none seem to ever understand how it is I feel about it. Because nopony ever knew loss like I did. Except… for you.” Soul shuddered a little from that. Gripped by what Celestia said. As is my hope.

We are not too unlike one another. Can you trust me enough to tell me what bothers you… as I do for you? “I never forgave myself for it, not until I can apologize to her… I never will forgive myself. My dear sister. Maybe… you understand what it is like. For something to eat away at you. Like it hurts in here.”

Celestia placed a hoof to her chest. That is what made Soul’s eyes actually widen.
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“Sometimes… it’s good to talk to another who understands” Celestia said, as she could tell Soul did. “Tell them all about what troubles you. Would you do that for me? Can you trust me now that I told you what bothers me?”

Celestia did it. She offered her hoof to the pony. So close to her. Close enough for Soul to reach out and touch it if she would. Where Soul stared at that large hoof. Then back up to Celestia with a look that told her something like the filly was asking if she may touch it. No matter how small you are, you are no different from I.

I will listen to you. Soul.

Celestia let her. Offered it to her. Under the gaze of all of Equestria. To see if she would trust her. I know how hard it’s been. But you can still trust one who trusts you. I will trust you, Soul. Then the pony looked back down. Soul lifted a hind leg. Like ready to step forward to Celestia. But… it held in the air. Before that hoof came back down to ground.

Celestia’s question was answered. Soul looked away. Closing her eyes and taking a step back. Away from the hoof given to her. I see. Though it hit so hard, and Celestia’s heart plummeted. Just like every other time. Soul does not trust me. Not at all. The filly shook. Even too afraid to accept what was offered to her. Shocked but also… angry. The filly shied away from her with all the hate and fear in the land laid upon her. As Celestia knew.
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Whatever chance Celestia ever had to connect with her was gone. It had always been gone. The filly was the same as she had been when she first came here. Alone and afraid. But something more. That is what it was. Celestia just did not accept being unable to see what it was this filly was truly feeling. But she could tell one thing. Whatever it was, it hurt the filly.

Something happened to her. It had to be… to be enough to do what it was that she had done. Yet I will never know. Painful enough so that she never smiled. Never showed happiness. Celestia had to accept it. With all that had happened and all she felt around her, this pony… poor Soul, she will not be happy again. Much like another pony out there, far out there, that she too feared would not be happy again.

Soul no longer gave her a chance. Set before her, terrified. Shaking wildly. Seeing all the ponies around her and closing her eyes once more with a tremble in her meek voice. A little squeak from her. Then… something that made Celestia hurt even more. A tear fell from Soul’s cheek. Soul… was all alone. All alone in this, the end of whatever life she had.

I pity her.
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“Soul” Celestia offered to her. The filly didn’t speak. She wept. Tears of true pain. Ones that made Celestia stop right there. Making those eyes glossy, the eyes of the Sun that turned to look back at the princess.

Just a brief moment. But Celestia felt it.

Something. Looking into those eyes looking back at her. The most brilliant of gold mixed in fire. Shining just like the Sun. Exactly. Without its warmth. No warmth in those eyes. Only icy cold. Never something to be seen before in those eyes. She had seen ponies cry before. She had seen children cry before. Never like this. She had never seen a pony cry with such pain and heartache in their eyes. Deep and intense. That she never wanted to see in the eyes of a child. For how could a mere look chill her to the bones? Seep deep down and tear open flesh. Getting at even her. Enough to make Celestia herself, of all ponies, shed a tear too.

It hit her hard. Those are not the eyes of a filly. Those were not eyes of a pony. No. Those are sadness.

Sadness so deep. It could never belong to a pony. They did not belong to Soul.

“Get rid of her!”
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Celestia snapped out of it. Hearing the crowd roar around her. All around as ponies came from their seats and demanded the same. The same horrible thing they all advised her to do. That all expected her to do. Celestia looked all around at them. Still… so much pain inside her. Just trying to concentrate. But it still stared into her. Those eyes. The ones she looked at again, gone with that pain. Soul’s eyes. Pure and still before they closed once more.

Get rid of her? The pony who now backed away in fear. The distance growing between them. The gap too wide now. No, it cannot be reached. The filly was too far gone. After all that pain she had seen. Soul, she just could not go on. Not after what she did. Not after all that has become. The princess no longer believed she could. It had to be done. Something had to be done. If not for the land, but… for Soul herself. Though we are divided, I want to help.

I want to make everypony happy. Even you, Soul. But how?
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It’s not right to do. Not right to do what everypony else wanted her to do. I can’t bring it upon myself to do that to a child who has lost everything. Who is all alone. I can’t do that to her. The last time I had to deal with a pony like this… I made… my choice. Because it was what that pony would do. That pony had been so merciful and so open no matter how immensely tough things had been. Even if she was younger than Celestia, sometimes, she was smarter. She was more ready to deal with things like this.

So how would she do this? The way she would before I hurt her so deeply.

My dear sister, Luna, you would make the right choice. Even when you turned on me. You made that same choice. Celestia looked out at the crowd who chanted. Out at this world that was no longer a part of Soul. One that was gone, and she saw it. In their faces. The same pain she had seen in Luna’s. What they wanted. What I want, though. What Luna would do.

Despite all of this, Celestia managed to breathe deeply. Opening her eyes and finding a friendly face. One kind soul who knew her struggle. Who understood. Even if Luna wasn’t here, she had reassurance. Ms. Mare among all the others out in the booths. The one pony who stayed seated, who nodded to the princess. Telling her to make her own decision. You are right. I have to, and I have. That is what Luna would do.

Luna would get rid of the pain, like she tried to do long ago. When she tried to get rid of me. So I must do… for another. I must do it for Soul. “So it shall be.”
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The pain was washed away. All the fright in her heart. Drowned away in the warmth of the light that lashed out all across the room. Right from the pony in the center of it all. Atop her horn. That flush of power radiating through her. Shining across all.

Darkening the sunlight from outside. Enveloping it.

Her light was the one true one. The one that made all the ponies fall silent. She could not though. I have to do this. I must. For her own good. For her sake. Luna, was it as hard for you to make such a decision? To lose yourself to it. Like it feels like now. Celestia could feel herself tearing just from knowing she was to do this.

To do this… again.

The light burst out. A flash of gold and a shock of thunder rumbling all across the chamber. Shaking the walls. Making Soul’s mane fly. Exposing both her eyes to the princess. As it did to the princess. Her aurora mane flowing along her and breaking from the power atop her horn. So I stand here before this filly with so much sadness. Lighting the room, yet so much darkness filled her heart. Holding on to the last scrap of knowing this was right. Even if it hurt. Hurt seeing Soul so afraid in front of her.

The filly could not even move. Gripped in fear. As she realized what was happening.
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“Soul Serenity” Celestia spoke out. “You have been found guilty of the murders of Nimbus Swiftshot and Starry Veil. As ruler of Equestria, I make it my duty to protect the ponies of the land from any threat. Outside… and inside. But even if I must protect the land from you, I… I still see you as a pony of my land. I still embrace you as one of us. And I always shall. That is why I must make a decision. One that I have made.”

Her light grew brighter. Rippling of heat and thunder across the length of her horn. Like soothing light inside her. Was that why she had enough to make this choice? She would never know.

For one moment, Celestia could think. For one moment, Soul stood still, and the two of them joined together in one last moment. Just the two of them. Face to face with only the light of the Sun around them. Nothing else.
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Your life is over. The world you had, is gone. Yet I won’t leave you to know that as your last moment. Soul Serenity, I will get rid of your pain. Never fear hate again. Never fear others again. In this last time for me to see you… I still see the good in you. Cherish it forever.

Princess…
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Celestia blinked. Hearing that last word in her mind. Echoing. It made a tear fall. From her and from Soul. But Soul, she… looked to the floor. Stared upon it and wept. Though she no longer ran. No longer shook. Only showed to her that she knew Celestia was going to do something. Not what all think I will do.

Soul Serenity, I will miss you. I will never see you again. But you will always hold a place in my heart.

“Never forget… the life you had and cherish the happy memories you have.” The light grew brighter. Bright enough to shine over Soul herself as the filly did one last thing. One last thing that shook the princess… forever.

Soul looked up at her. The most quiet and lovely voice she could ever hear.

“I’m sorry.”

Is it to me or to somepony else? Celestia closed herself to it when the light blinded all. Then it faded to dust. Where the princess… stood alone. I’m sorry, …Soul.

Soul Serenity disappeared.

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