11.1
What time was it?

Soul blinked. Staring up to the ceiling high above her. Same old ceiling. Wrapped in churning clouds that shifted and rearranged in a never-ending loop. Her eyes hurt. Staring up at it. Hurt so bad she needed to squint hard. Shaking her head before she rolled over onto her side. Over onto the side of the pillow and she looked over. Along the red sheets she laid on and then the golden laced blanket that surrounded her… yet did not cover her.

That’s right… I slept in their bed. When I fell asleep in her wings. Before… a new tear rolled off her lashes.

Before everything… so raw in her mind. It hurt. She couldn’t even move. Laying there like a rock. Because it hurt to do anything. Her head pounded. Her wings shook and her heart… it felt so empty. Like it clawed at her chest with a dull ache. Just to think about it. For so long. Did she even sleep? It seemed like it. Like everything had stood still while she felt the fur along her face soak her. Like a true nightmare. For was it all even that?

Soul sat up. Letting her spread wings plop along the mattress at her sides. I’m alone. The bed was empty. Everything so quiet. Even when she looked over at the window at the head of the bed, she saw the snow coming down yet all was quiet. Not a sound to stir. Nothing to comfort her. Out there in that snow where she had flown in. Flown through that window, now sealed. Under the empty pillows. She blinked again. Was it a nightmare? She rubbed her eyes. Standing up and hearing something hit the bed beneath her.

11.2
Soul looked down. She stared. Knowing what it was she saw between her hooves. It was herself looking back at her… along with… those two. Starry with his beautifully sky-blue mane and shiny silver coat smiling up at the filly he held atop his head, and the mare. Nimbus with her gorgeous mane of the Sun and golden fur. Fur that would be soaked from the tear that fell on her picture.

Soul sniffed. I held that. The thing to remind her, and she looked up. Up at the pitiful filly staring back at her in the window. Her magenta fur so beautiful. Gorgeous but… drenched. Blackened around the reddened eyes staring back at her with their needle thin veins pulsing. Yet no water they shed could soothe them. All she could do was squint again to relieve the pain and wipe away the tears.

A nightmare? She turned to the door. Not like it should be. Like normal. When Nimbus would wake her up in the morning. Not leave her to sleep for long. Bright and early for a fantastic new day. She loved to assure her. Not this morning? Soul stood still. Finally bringing her wings back up to her sides and folding them up. Everything hurt. Now that her stomach growled.

“Nimbus… Starry?” She waited. Looking all around the room that wasn’t her own. I can’t stop crying. No point in her even wiping them away. Not when she felt her heart scorching inside. So much that she placed a hoof to her chest. Breathing deeply. Only made it hurt more. Unlike any nightmare before. Nopony here to comfort me. Soul looked down. Knowing she had to move. It was a new day… and I should enjoy it. She laughed at herself. Already regretting taking the first steps off the bed. Opening the door. Open to an empty and silent hallway.

11.3
She looked all the way down. Down to her still open door to her room. To the stairway where she knew to go. I don’t even need to use the bathroom. Nothing. No feeling at all. Just that pain inside her chest. Walking along the hall. Her ears twitching. Her eyes low to the ground.

Was this normal? What is normal? She remembered hearing the sounds of dishes and talking every time she would walk down this hall in the morning. Now. Now it was like she was in another world. So quiet. She could hear her own breath. Her own fur ruffling as she walked. Even noticing the slight crunch her wings made before they unfolded and she took flight down the stairs. Down to the empty living room where she looked out. Out to see the curtains still closed. Little light coming into the dark space. Nopony waiting for her on the sofa. No hugs. No questions on her sleep. It made it singe inside her. Almost too hard to breathe now.

She clutched at her chest. “Guys?” She looked over to the dining room. Where the deck door was left covered in cloudy curtains, no chairs moved. Her nose wrinkled. Missing it all. Missing the days she knew were normal. But what to expect to be normal anymore? Nothing was right. Everything hurt.

11.4
There were no smells in the air. No food to greet her. Even when she insisted on making her own food, most of the time there would be a plate of something on the table for her. Leaving such sweet smells all across the house. It just smelled… like the cold. Empty. Her stomach rumbled. Drawing her to go look. Peeking into the kitchen and seeing it… empty. The dishes from last night’s dinner still sitting on the counter. Nothing cooking. Nopony anywhere. I’m home alone?

“Are you here?” Or are you… Soul whimpered. Putting herself back down on the ground. I can’t even fly anymore. Not when it stings. Hurts so much to move. She may as well just fall to the floor. Strange how her legs did not give out. She could only cry. None of this is normal. It never will be. They are always here for me when I need them. Unless I push them away. Did I push them away? Is that why they left me? Left me last night… “Like all ponies do…” Pushing her hoof into her face. Crying into it.

I never did want this. This nightmare. But… what is a nightmare? Soul sat against the wall. Pushing herself against it. Just to cry in her forelegs. Sob alone in her fur. It wasn’t a nightmare… was it? None of this is right. There’s no way that it would be like this. Mornings were always something of joy to her. Even the most frightening of days had something happy for her when she woke up to those ponies. All the ones she relied on. To feed her and comfort her. Reassure her when she was down. There’s none here to do that now. When she needed it most. So… maybe… it really did happen. Something so unreal. It can’t be. It just can’t.

What am I going to do? What can I do?

11.5
“Tell me. I’m just a filly. I don’t know what to do… I need my mommy and daddy.” I loved them. But they left me. Like all ponies! Why? Why did they have to leave? Maybe… because I just was too much for them. Too much of a burden. I should have never asked them if I could sleep with them. Maybe then they wouldn’t have left.

This is all my fault. But I… don’t want to feel this. Soul wanted to wake up to the ponies she cared about and cared for her. Eat with them. Talk with them. Train and go outside to the lovely city skylines for them all to fly in. Have so many fun days. We were supposed to. We were. They had come so close. Just when Soul had felt that things truly had changed. But she had failed again. Now they were gone and going to forget her.

Will I?

Will they become a shadow to her just like her mother? She didn’t want to. Of all the ponies, she didn’t want to forget the ones who had given her so much. They promised her so much fun and such a lovely life. All thanks to them. But… without them. What did she have? I have nothing. I only have… what they gave… me. Soul sniffed. Her ears leaping when she heard… a knock at the door. Like ten of them so fast and excited. Only… one pony is like that. That’s right… they gave me this. This day. But… how? Soul was afraid to stand up but she knew she had to. What to say? We were… all supposed to see the Wonderbolts. But that… she cried. That’s gone. It made her legs spasm. Smacking herself hard with a hoof. Damn it! What… what can I say to her? Is there even anything that can be said? A filly in this moment. Left on her own. Again, and she had no idea how to do this the last time it happened so long ago.

11.6
She put her hoof on the doorknob. Flinching when another knock hit the door.

Really so many questions on what she could do. She was on her own for this. I… I have to tell them. But how? Who can I rely on? Nimbus taught me what it is to have a friend but… this is something else. Really, what could she do? Soul was at a loss. We were all supposed to have our fun day today. I haven’t even eaten… hahaha, let alone… I’m all alone. It hurt so much to think that.

All these tears coming down. Should I even… she dropped her hoof from the knob. Holding it there. I… I… look so awful. There was no way she could explain this. Any of it. But she needed somepony. I am a part of their family. I have a place with them. Dashie… you were always the one I could rely on. You taught me that. Through such tough situations, she was there for her. Because of that, she knew she couldn’t walk away. Not from this pony who didn’t walk away before. She will listen to me. They all will. I just need a pony to comfort me. Someone she could have by her side to get through another terrible time. The worst time.

Funny… yesterday… I expected to greet Dash just like she did for me. Soul wanted to be there, ready with Nimbus and Starry. All of them to head out together. What even was left to look forward to? Besides a hug from the one pony she had left. The only one left from those memories. Nimbus. Starry. You gave her to me. You helped me find a friend. Those memories gave her strength to put that hoof back on the doorknob.

I don’t even care how I look. All she wanted was to do what would comfort her after all that had happened.

11.7
She opened the door. Creaking open. Where what little sunlight could shine into the dark house now and small flakes drifted in to touch against her soaked face and the cold chilled her. But no matter how cold it was, outside… and inside her, she still had something there to warm her. Really the only good thing that could happen. The only good thing left. The best thing in her life.

There was Rainbow Dash. Right on the other side of the door there to greet her with a big smile on her face and such excitement. Of course, she had no reason to think otherwise. This was going to be an amazing day and they all knew it.

Rainbow and her parents all there. Just as they said. Just as Soul had forgotten. How everything has changed. So much, indeed. That Soul could no longer share in their excitement. When they could see her and how she was, they too lost that excitement in a flash. “Soul?” Dash said. She raised a hoof up to her.

Not what you expected, huh? Sorry… I… Soul’s legs shook. “Oh, Celestia! What happened to you, Soul?” Windy came up past Dash. Eye to eye with the filly. Soul didn’t even think of anything about it. She didn’t know anymore. Not with her terribly mangled fur and bloodshot eyes piercing into the mare. She had no explanation. Because what could she say? She didn’t even know what to do. Except for… being glad that the one pony she cared for the most, whom she had done so much with, was finally here in front of her. A familiar face she welcomed above all others. Without anypony here for her, she sniffled. Shedding her tears in front of them, not even caring if they saw it. All three of them shocked to see her like this. She could tell. But they are the only ponies left I trust.

The only pony I know who is there for me just like I am there for her. With how much we like to tease one another, Soul was so happy she didn’t make fun of her for crying in front of her. No, Rainbow pushed past her mom. Just wanting to get closer. Be there for her like a good friend. Her best friend. But Soul could not smile. Not with her heart in agony.

11.8
“Dashie.” Soul tossed herself forward. Landing right into the surprised filly and putting her hooves around her. Finally… somepony to hold. So she didn’t feel alone. Dash was quick to hug her back. Accepting her in her hooves.

After everything that has happened. At last… I know I still have somepony. The one pony who was there for her in any other bad situation. Soul was ashamed. She almost forgot about her. Forgot that she had somepony so dedicated and kind to her. Who defended her and played with her. Who wanted to be there with her in the future. Nimbus, she was the one who wanted Soul to find a pony like this. She was so glad she did and that Nimbus had done all she could to make it happen. Soul wanted to thank her. She really did. But she knew she couldn’t and that made her sob against Dash’s shoulder. Crying so loudly in front of the three ponies she had been with not long ago. All she had left. The only ponies left to comfort her.

“Hey…” Dash whispered. Pulling Soul closer and Soul felt her hoof going along the top of her mane. Staring into the darkness with her eyes closed and her face buried in Dash’s fur. “Soul, what’s wrong? Come on… you can tell me.” Soul tried to speak. Cursing herself when her voice came out a squeak. The most pitiful sound she ever made. Wrapped inside of her hoarse cries. “Soul…?”

“Dashie…” she heard Windy whisper from behind and Soul felt such a gentle touch on her. Didn’t need to look. She could tell that Windy was the one who was wrapping her and Dash up in her wings. Those soft feathers she could feel along her. So very warm and safe from the cold. No matter if the mare hugged her from behind, the now silent Dash still hugged her. Never letting go. Soul just leaving all of them to wonder what it was that was wrong while she cried under the falling snow. The only sound that was made was Windy softly hushing her.

11.9
Soul did not know how. She couldn’t. She just couldn’t stop crying. Every heave she made was so painful inside her chest. Her stomach spasmed every time she did. It hurt so much just to breathe, and she had to so much. Huge breaths only to wail out once more the pain inside of knowing they were gone. The only ponies she could call… her parents. They’re gone. They’re gone forever.

Please… please let this be a nightmare. But it felt so real and that only made her cry harder. Constantly until she couldn’t take those deep breaths anymore and her throat felt raw. Reduced to this. To whimpering in Dash’s shoulder while… while Windy ran her hoof through her mane. All they could do for her. A total wreck. Not knowing what she could do anymore. Life… it was like a dream now. So unreal when she had so much waiting for her. That… she had to. She had to say it.

“P…please…” Soul held her breath. Feeling a big pain inside of her roiling and all of it rushed out in a deep cry.

This is too hard. She couldn’t even talk. Couldn’t even beg them to help her. Please save me. That was all she wanted. She hated to ask it of Dash again, but she had to. There were no other ponies left. Putting such a big burden on her. I was taught to be strong but I’m not. I can’t do this on my own. She couldn’t even deal with this alone. Really, was there any other worse pain than… than when she was left behind the first time? Soul sobbed. Left to her pain. No amount of comfort she was given could end it. Not when she felt her heart rip apart and the cold came over her once more. So cold. Inside.

11.10
“Soul. Where is Nimbus and Starry?” Windy whispered above her after what felt like forever. When Soul realized… she couldn’t cry anymore. Refusing to open her eyes. Nimbus and Starry? Mom and dad. Where are they? I wish they were somewhere I knew. If this was a dream or reality. Where would anything be? Inside this world that felt like it had just been turned upside down. Where Soul slouched her shoulders and her wings, and she no longer felt… that pain inside her.

Now. What was it?

What could describe it. Any immeasurable feeling. Settling over her. Like her insides had fled and her chest… empty. Her breathing soothed once more but tears never stopped coming. She couldn’t even move. Couldn’t even think. What to say? Is there even anything to say? Soul just wanted to wrap herself up under the covers and sleep forever. Leave this all behind. Give up… like I always do. Because this is always meant to happen to me. Hehe, right? Right, mom? You wanted this. You wanted me to suffer since I could never be good enough. I deserve it all.

After all, it’s my fault they left. I got greedy. Pushed them to do something they didn’t want to do. What… what could she even say without fearing more would come? If these ponies would leave her too. Would they? Mom would think so. Wherever she is out there.

But… I don’t want it. Even if this is all supposed to happen to me. Nimbus and Starry. What…? What did she ask? Soul paused. Where are they? That’s right. Any reason to answer? Soul may as well just keep crying. May as well just find that safe corner for herself. Where nopony else can hurt her. “They’re…” I should though. Even… if I don’t care. I still can say… I love one pony. The last pony for me. The one that she held. I never want her to abandon me. “Gone.”

11.11
Silence. Guess they don’t understand. When she said it, she felt Dash shift her hug. Placing her head down on the top of Soul’s head. With a little whimper in her voice. Strange. Soul wondered why she made that noise. Why did they even care? Rainbow Dash was the last pony left that Soul could truly call a part of her life as her heart closed in on everything else. The last thing I have left from what they gave me. My best friend.

She had never felt so cold inside before. So stricken. As the air stood still. Your truest friend. She always was. Soul could only hold her tighter. Guard her closely.

“Soul…” Windy whispered from above. “Can we go inside your house and look for them?” Soul didn’t care. She couldn’t say anything either. Just nodding. “Bow, dear. Can you check around for me?” “Of course, I’ll be right back” she heard Dash’s father say. Then his hooves as he walked into the house before them all. I don’t know why they want to. You won’t find them. I know it. This is no different than… all my other nightmares. Except for one thing.

“Mom, can you go with him?” Dash’s voice rang out. “I want to be alone with Soul. Please.” Soul wrapped her hoof higher around the pony she held. Yes. With you. Grant me just this. One good thing out of all that has happened. I need something to make me feel better. To warm her heart once more. Feeling the ice over her. The dull ache all over her body. Not even her wings could move. “Of course” Windy gave in. “We’ll be right back. Dashie…” As the mare let go of Soul and Dash’s hooves wrapped tighter over her. “Please watch her.” “I will.” Then she felt the filly’s head look down upon her. “Everything will be okay.” Should I believe her? Soul just stayed silent while she listened to Windy walk into the house as well.

11.12
The two fillies all alone. Like every other time they needed each other. Back to the same. Just like nostalgia. I feel we’ve done this before. The two of them together once more to face down any problem. Any threat. Just like before. But this was not like before.

Soul’s heart hurt so much. So much she just could not look up from where she buried her face into that cyan fur because she knew she would fall apart if she did. Like this hug was the only thing keeping her going. With the entire world crashing down around her. Yet only she could see it, no way to tell how to take it. What she should do. Except for fall into the comfort that Dash gave her. Pure bliss.

“Soul, what happened?” What happened? Is that even a real question? Soul wasn’t even sure how to answer it. Really, after what she had gone through, how can she be expected to answer what she did go through? To speak of such a thing. She was only a filly. Torn away from the only ponies she came close to calling mom and dad. I almost did. I wanted to. Soul remembered the comfort she had been given. It dripped off her tongue. “I did it, just as you said. I wasn’t afraid to do it… I asked them last night.”

Dash was silent. But Soul knew she was listening and sure Dash could tell what she was talking about. “Nimbus stayed in my room and… she talked to me. We had a nice talk…” Soul whimpered. Sniffling to regain herself. Because her body ached with each word she spoke. It really did seem like such a perfect night. The closest the filly ever got to the mare. “But she wanted to go to bed… and I stopped her. Because you taught me I shouldn’t be afraid to tell her what I want. And… I did it. I got to sleep with Nimbus and Starry.” Soul could feel Dash’s hoof run up along her mane with that admittance. Brushing her softly. I’m not at all ashamed to admit any of this to her. Just like she did to me. Because we trust one another. Soul was so glad Dash didn’t tease her over this.

11.13
“She held me in her wings… even let me sleep… on her chest. I felt like… like… she was more to me because of that. I have never been closer before. She gave me… what I always wanted from a pony.” “You really did want somepony to hold you?” Dash asked.

I always did. For so long. I never got it from mom. I expected it from you, Dashie… but nothing. Even though I held you. But that’s okay because now Soul saw what happened when she got her way. Because with Nimbus, she had the truth about her life. “It was a mistake” Soul spat. Feeling Dash shudder against her.

“Soul… what happened?” You really want to know? Dashie, you’ve been my best friend for so long now. We’ve shared so much together and done too much to the point where I see you as no different than me. Sometimes it’s scary what we’ve become together. Where Soul had felt close enough to kiss the filly on the cheek. For her fur to touch her lips. How close are we? Is it close enough for me to tell you anything? Even if it’s insane. I don’t even know what is real anymore. This entire thing was like a waking nightmare to her. An illusion. A dream. So euphoric at times and so crushing at others. But one thing was still clear to her. That she did not feel real anymore. Because it’s all my fault. All of it is. Even if I tell her, what difference will it make?

“Tell me.” You really do want to know? Fine… Soul cursed herself. With every thought, a new tear was shed. A new pain inside her. It hurt so much just to say “I made a mistake. It’s all my fault.”

11.14
“I should not have asked them. I didn’t think it would be bad but… I forced myself on them and they… I ruined everything.” Everything. When I came so close to calling them my mommy and daddy. I wanted to. But they didn’t want it. They never wanted me like that. So that was why… “They left me.”

So many tears yet… she couldn’t tell. Her heart, it hurt no more or less than it had been. Inside an empty pain within. But her whole body shook. “They left…” “They ran off!” Soul admitted. Remembering exactly what happened to her moment by moment and hating herself because nothing made her feel any worse. Like it was all set inside her now. Permanent. “Flew away and I chased after them all night. I wouldn’t let them go. But… I…” Soul croaked. Finally looking up over the fur she had her face buried in. Out to see the rainbow hairs drifting along her muzzle. Flowing in front of her reddened eyes and her tangled mane. Staring out into the sky. The same sky she flew in. I was always so fast. So precise in my ability. But… I failed. Another failure. I didn’t succeed.

“I couldn’t stop them.” I stood there useless. Watching them leave me behind in their own world. When I should have ran up to them and hugged them. Told them how I felt. Begged them. I didn’t. And I was punished for it. I am weak. They made you strong. No! It’s all lies. How am I strong when I have nothing left?

Except for her.
11.15
She glanced to the pony she held. Looking down her sleek back all the way to her tail. Where Soul held her hooves around her and came together between her little cyan wings. All I have left. The one pony who I love. The one thing left from what felt like a life leaving her. Falling apart. It just came out. “I watched them die.”

Soul was blank. They’re dead. It echoed inside her. Dead. Gone forever. She will never hear them again. Never get to see them. Never fly with them. Nothing touched her, no shock in Dash’s gasp. No cold. No snow falling upon her. She didn’t feel it. Just that echoing emptiness. As the two ponies she loved drifted away. Because it was no different. It really wasn’t. The same when this happened years ago. Just a memory. Though she cried. Cried so hard. Yelling at herself inside. When had she become so cold to it?

“They were taken and I followed them. I went after them to try and save them but it was too late.” Soul surprised herself with how pathetic she sounded saying that. What has happened to me? “I found them. Both of them. They didn’t move. Didn’t do anything and I hugged them. Cried. Begged them. But they didn’t wake up. I watched them die and leave me. Then I flew away. From the monsters that took them from me. If I had just not asked them to let me sleep with them, they would not have left the house. They’re gone because of me.”

Soul blinked, finally. I can’t believe how awful I sound. But she didn’t feel it. Even with her tears flowing out. Drenching Dash’s coat. There was absolutely nothing left. We were supposed to all be together today. One family. So happy. Soul’s and Dash’s families together. Or so she thought she had a family. No more. Rainbow came here to have a great day with her. It was gone. There was nothing more to be happy about. Except for one. “Please don’t leave me, Dashie.” She’s all I have left. But the filly said nothing. Nothing about what Soul had said. Soul wasn’t sure how the pony felt but she did feel her hooves coming over Soul even tighter. The filly pulling Soul into her wings. Silent.

She has nothing to say? Does she believe me? Soul couldn’t tell but she believed herself. Freed from a dream. This was how her life always was. So many ponies. They all leave. Please be the one who doesn’t. The pony whose nose wiped along her cheek and she heard her breathe in her ear. Whispering to her.

“Cloudsdale Wingponies… forever.” That’s all I need. Soul put her head down onto her shoulder and closed her eyes. The one soothing voice left in the world to her. No other ponies left out there. Thank you. Thank you for being that pony. The one left to comfort her with a loving voice for she would never hear those voices again. Of the ponies she wished for the most.
11.16
“Uh… did we miss something?”

Soul’s ears perked up but she did not stop hugging her even with her eyes wide open and her entire body now wracked in a chill running down it hearing that voice. Like she was hearing things. She really thought she had. There was no way. It was silent yet she heard it playing over and over in her head. Nopony talked. But they may as well with the haunting and chilling echo sounding inside.

She never could imagine that voice would make her shiver.

So she couldn’t believe it to be real… until Dash… her grip loosened and the filly looked over past Soul to where she had heard it. Where Dash had heard it too. But it can’t be. No! Don’t let go of me. Soul gripped her harder but Dash let go. A star struck filly staring over Soul’s shoulder because… it was true.

“Soul, umm…” Dash started but her mouth hung. She didn’t have to say anything. I know what it is. I can’t believe it. Even more so when she finally started to let go and… she did it without wanting it. Her body moved on its own. Turning over to look. How is it possible that her heart hurt even more now? Now that she saw this. Now that this world made no sense anymore. Since she saw right there on the walkway to the door. Before both her and Dash, the two ponies. As confused as Dash was. Not as shocked as Soul was. On their own hooves. With wings folding up at their sides. Vast wings of gold and silver feathers with their eyes stricken in that of the Sun and the sky staring upon the two fillies with such a ravenous motion in their look that made Soul feel like… like she was looking into the turmoil of her own spirits. Churning and spinning. An endless dance in those gleaming eyes. The ones she always saw as gorgeous until now. So strange for who it was they belonged to.
11.17
Nimbus and Starry.

“Soul. What’s going on?” Dash asked with such a drag in her raspy voice. The filly looked to her and then back to the two. Soul… she never looked away from them with her wings completely collapsing. Like she couldn’t feel anything. Couldn’t even think anything except for one word. What? “That’s what we’d like to know” Nimbus said. The mare stepped forward and cocked her head at the scene behind the two. “Why is the door wide open? You’re letting all the snow in, and why are you two out here all alone?”

“My mom and… dad are inside…” Dash said, and Soul caught her eyeing Soul for a moment with a raised brow. Soul didn’t know what to say. “They’re… looking for you” Dash finished. “Looking for us?” Starry asked. As puzzled as all of them were. Except for Nimbus who smacked a hoof to her face and groaned. “Oh no, Starry…” she looked at him. “I told you we shouldn’t have left.”

“Mom! Dad!” Dash called out. No. Soul shook her head. What is this? What? What could she even say? Nothing. As everything crashed in on her right there. Her heart burned raw and all the pain inside her… she couldn’t even stop with her tears. Stop with the billowing feeling inside her. I don’t understand. I don’t… “Nimbus!”

Soul raised her hoof in terror when Windy stepped out from the door. Looking at the shocked mare. None of them noticing Soul there. All of them all wrapped in the confusion while Soul… she didn’t feel anything but disbelief. I… Soul wanted to speak. Now that she saw Dash show just how… upset she was. The filly frowned. Not to Soul but Soul still could tell. But I don’t know what’s going on. “Soul said that you were gone and we went in to look for you” Windy said now that Bow came out to join her. “We found the poor girl in tears.” “Oh no! I…” Nimbus shook her head. “What a mess… Soul, we’re so sorry.” The mare looked down at her. That brief moment when her red eyes pierced into Soul’s, she felt her body shudder. Just forced to watch this all. With her mouth dry and… just not able to stop her shaking.
11.18
“She said you left her and that… she saw you both die” Dash whispered. Getting everypony to look at her.

“Saw us…” Nimbus put a hoof to her chest. Joined by Starry. They both could do nothing but lower their heads. Nimbus looking over at Soul. Her eyes never left. No matter how pitifully sorry they both looked. How Nimbus looked like she may break down. But Soul didn’t know why. She didn’t know anything anymore. Let alone what was real. When she felt so ashamed of herself. Forget the shock. I told her that these two were dead. What? What is wrong with me?

“Let me explain” Starry said. “I thought it would be a good idea for Nimbus and I to go out earlier this morning to get a little flying in together.” “I told you we shouldn’t have” Nimbus chimed in. “I know… but…” he looked up to all of them. “We both have gone through a lot of work lately and… I just wanted her and I to have a nice flight together like we used to do. I figured we should let Soul sleep in and we didn’t wake her. Guess I was wrong.”

“Soul, we’re so sorry” Nimbus said. “I should have stayed with you. I didn’t know you would have such a terrible nightmare. We’d never leave you like that. The mare stopped feeling sorry for herself. Coming up to tower over the filly with such a big smile on her face.

“We’re back…” she whispered and… Soul flinched when her hoof came down and stroked so softly along her mane. “I’ll never leave you alone like that again.” Soul said nothing. Sitting there like an idiot. With her eyes pulsing red and her stomach growling. She just slumped. Staring down at the snowy ground. A nightmare? But… she blinked… twice.

I thought that…
11.19
“We should go inside… I’m such an idiot leaving you like that” Nimbus let go of Soul and placed one wing over her, blanketing her as the mare walked towards the door and looked back at her. “How about I make you some pancakes? A lot of them with whipped cream and fruit, I bet that’ll be good.” “I’ll get started on it” Starry said and rushed past them. He looked so broken in his face. As down as Nimbus looked in her eyes. True shame. For leaving me.

Was it all a nightmare?

“So it was all a nightmare?” Dash said. When Soul looked at her and found the filly like this, shoulders down and looking off. So sad in her face. No telling how she felt. Please don’t be angry. Soul wasn’t even sure how to feel. This isn’t right. “But…” what can I say? Dash, Windy, and Bow. All three of them before her. She felt their eyes upon her. Staring her down like towering monoliths. Frightening. Reduced to just a shaking baby right there. For the first time, she felt useless. “I’m so sorry for that” Nimbus said to them all. “It’s all my fault.”

What are you…? Soul was frozen when that wing over her pushed her… pushing her back onto her hooves and she nudged forward. Stepping to the door with Nimbus at her side. “Come on, Soul… let’s get you out of the cold.” “But…” This isn’t right. Soul walked, pushed along by that big wing against her butt until she had to step over the threshold of the doorway. Walking into the house, looking back out at all the ponies. All of them looked so worried for her. Even Dash. But Soul, she felt like an idiot. In front of her best friend.

What more could she say? With her mind frozen and so much pain inside her. “I’m… sorry” she whimpered.
11.20
“It’s not your fault, I… let myself get carried away” Nimbus said. “Would you all like to come in for something to eat? Our treat for letting this happen.”

“We… were supposed to go to see the Wonderbolts” Windy pointed out. “The show is soon and we were coming to get you all.” “Yeah…” Dash said with such a hopeful voice. “We’re gonna all have fun today. Soul and I have been looking forward to this, I… I don’t think I can wait any longer.” The filly finally got up with joy in her face. “Let’s go. Let’s go!” She jumped up and down like nothing had happened. I wish I could feel that. Soul just frowned with her legs shaking.

I don’t feel good. I… she lowered her head once more. Why can’t I say anything? Why does it hurt? Not even able to say anything when Nimbus spoke. “That’s now! But… oh no, we didn’t know that.” Jumping around on her hooves. “We got to get ready and eat and I need to take a bath. Celestia, I’m all sweaty. I don’t know if we can make it.”

“But we talked about it!” After a long pause, Soul looked up. Up to the filly who had said that. Rainbow Dash stared at them in disbelief and… it made Soul feel herself collapse inside. Dash looked… sad. Desperate. When she finally realized what it was that was going on. “I can still go” Soul said. “But you need to eat and we need to get ready” Nimbus said. “How about we eat when we get there” Dash said. “Yeah, they got lots of food in Canterlot” Windy pointed out. That sounded good. Right? Soul smiled to Nimbus. Showing her approval. If only it was met.
11.21
“I won’t let Soul go to Canterlot without us. Starry and I have a lot to do before we can leave for the day. I’m sorry, I don’t think it can happen.”

That was when Soul’s entire self collapsed. Hearing those words, and she spoke out along with another voice. “No!” she and Dash said together. “Nimbus, dear” Windy spoke with such calm despite her anxious smile. “We already got the tickets and we can still all make it if we leave soon. I can buy you all food when we get there. Then Bow and I can help you with whatever you need to do after the show. What do ya say?”

“Please, Nimbus… I wanted to spend the day with Soul” Dash pleaded. So did I. What is going on?

“Nimbus?” Soul looked to her. The mare looked between all of them. Sighing. Such a long pause with only the wind howling over them all. Snowfall coming down between them, the only movement. Until Nimbus stepped up. Her hooves moved… into the house with Soul.

“Well then Soul should have told us when we’d be leaving. I’m sorry.” Soul just watched. Watched as her best friend gasped and reached a hoof out to her. One she wanted to reach for too and… her hoof stopped when the door closed in front of her. Silence. As the air stood still and the last bit of snow fell onto the floor. Melting away into the clouds under Soul. The filly left standing there with a hoof reaching out and her face frozen in terror.

When she realized what it was that just happened.
11.22
“Dashie…” Soul stared at the door. Left to herself. She just heard Nimbus’ hooves step away.

I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. What did happen? What even was that? Just when she felt her joy coming back, slammed shut on it. Nimbus and Starry back. All of us together. We could go to the Wonderbolts. Just like we wanted. Free of whatever this nightmare was. So much pain. She could already tell… Dash must be hurt. Yet Soul could do nothing. Like her hooves were glued to the floor.

What is this feeling? “Well I think we should go get breakfast started” Nimbus said as she trotted off towards the kitchen. “I bet you’re hungry too.” She didn’t care. Actually… it wasn’t hunger she felt. She finally let her hoof back down. Staring at the door and her wings folded up. She couldn’t feel her stomach ache as it growled. Didn’t feel the burning pain in her eyes. No that was not it. After seeing the two ponies she loved so much die, holding them in her hooves and crying for them. Leaving them behind. Waking up alone. Watching her entire world fall apart around her only for it to come back. Come back and now… she knew that Dash… Dashie wasn’t happy. I upset her.

We were supposed to have a fun day today and now none of us will. What of Soul? Right now, she felt like the one most upset now that her tears had stopped. All dried up. Just like her heart which writhed. Why do I feel like this? This… this isn’t like when she left me long ago. Soul lowered her eyes. Her mane coming down over her face. Like a shadow on her. She felt it looming. What have I done? What did I let happen? No. She no longer felt pity for herself. “You coming, Soul?” She looked over her shoulder. Over her flaring wings. Not like last time.

Soul was furious.
11.23
“What the hell?! Nimbus, how could you?!”

Soul leapt around. For the first time, baring her fangs. Of all ponies, the one who had cared for her for so long. But after all this, she didn’t care anymore. Nopony could go through all this and be expected to be happy. She actually wanted to hit Nimbus. Feeling her hoof itching. For all she did to her. This was not funny. None of this was right. How could she?

“How could you?!” That got her attention. Nimbus finally dropped her happy act. Acting like nothing was wrong. Everything was wrong. The nerve she expected Soul to let her come back up to her and try to place her hoof upon her head. Soul smacked it away. Getting back from her. “Soul, I…”

“Shut up!” Soul whimpered. Not believing how overwhelmed she felt. All of this coming at her at once. She already got to feel her heart break. Now… it felt like it was coming back again. That splitting agony inside. So many years together and Nimbus never did anything like this. She never made Soul feel this broken. I thought things were better since she held me. Proven wrong. That made her want to cry again but the tears, there were no more. “How could you leave me? You know I need you. Yet you’re just gonna leave me all alone.” “Soul, I didn’t think it would… we came back. We would never abandon you.” “But you did. You left… in the middle of the night. Left me all alone. I… I…” what to say?

Her feelings. Everything. None of this felt like reality anymore. She couldn’t even tell what reality was anymore. She was only a filly. But they thought she could do this alone. They both know better. Now that Starry stepped out from the kitchen. Looking over at them from across the room. Soul glared at both of them.
11.24
“That was the worst nightmare I ever had. But I woke up and you both weren’t there. You left me alone. I was just crying and wanting you both back. But you left. Like my nightmare had come true. Here I thought I could trust you both.”

I really did. After what you did for me. But this hurt her more than anything else. Right when she thought things would be better. Of course not. “I guess you both don’t love me.” “Soul, of course we do” Nimbus said. She didn’t dare raise her voice. Trying to lean towards the filly, but nothing more. Soul knew she wanted to reach out and hug her. No. Not this time.

“If you did, you would’ve been there for me. And now… now look what you did! I was looking forward to this. I wanted to see the Wonderbolts for so long now and now you kicked my friend away. My best friend! I… I must look terrible to her now.” Soul gasped.

No. Dashie. An inkling to run to the door and chase after the pony. I should just go by myself. Leave these two. That’s what I should have done. “It was going to be my last fun day before I go back to camp. Ruined.” Maybe she should run after them. Even though she wanted them to come with her. Until now. They just left me. What kind of parents do that. Parents… Soul looked away from them.

Maybe I was wrong.

“Soul. Starry and I know what we did was wrong. We both feel bad about it. After all we went through together, we both should have been there for you like we always were. I… I feel like a failure now. I should have been there to hug you and comfort you. If you… want… I can. I want to. I want you happy like I always did. Soul.” Soul just listened. Hearing the harsh wind outside. Striking the house. That chill. Like all the air wrapped around her and the wind was within her. So much so… she felt her fur stand up and her eyes wandered. Slowly looking back at Nimbus. So uneasy.

“Come on, we can have fun still. We can do some flying and we can go out together. Make our own fun. I know you wanted to see the Wonderbolts, but there’s always next time.” Next time isn’t good enough. I don’t know why you are trying to talk your way out of this. Nimbus broke her trust. For the first time. Not like her. Soul felt the chills. “We can still treat you… I love you… because you’re… you’re my daughter.” …My…
Daughter?
11.25
Soul widened her eyes.

Why is it so cold? Just then it got silent. All the fur on her back standing up and her mane crawled along her neck. A twitch of her tail and a flutter of her wings. That terrifying stillness between her and Nimbus. The pony who offered her hoof once more. Wanting to hug her. I should fall into her. Hug her back. For them to embrace like they always used to do. With new reason. Because… I’m her daughter? The words she always wanted a pony to tell her. …The words Nimbus never spoke. That was what made Soul back away. Flee from that chill. With both her wings spreading. She only shook her head. The words slithering out from between her teeth.

“Who are you?” Nimbus didn’t say that. She never did. “Nimbus… she doesn’t love me like that.” Soul was convinced. She wanted Nimbus to. Soul wanted to love her like a family. But… it never happened. After all, …all of this did happen. This is real. As real as that smug smile Nimbus had now. The mare looming over her. Keeping her huge wings to her side and… a calm look down upon the filly. It was unsettling how beautiful her voice was.

“You don’t know… just how much she did love you.” Coming out through Nimbus’ voice. With her mouth. With her tongue. But it was not her. Soul… she froze. When she realized the truth. But it was too late. All of it was.

This was real.
11.26
Everything that happened. Yet Soul, she didn’t even blink. Not with both of them approaching her. The two ponies she loved. Who had cared for her for all her life. But these weren’t those ponies. They didn’t wear their loving smiles. They didn’t have their vibrant care. They weren’t them and she saw them for what they were. Just a thought when she saw it all did happen. No.

Nimbus looked down at her. Not with her red eyes filled with life. But with blank eyes of the sea with not a single trace of a pony left in them. Just the eyes of the monster she knew them to belong to, that had stared at her when she lost both of the ponies she loved. Surrounded by all that was left of them. Nimbus before her and Starry with his blank eyes coming over. Pushed against the door, yet she didn’t move. Just lost. So lost… as to why she didn’t feel anything. Nothing more. Was it from all that she had went through? Or seeing the last trace of her loved ones left behind like this? Staring her down with razor fangs in their mouths and such horrible hate in their eyes. What was left of them inside of what she knew… were Changelings.

But all was silent. Even as she stared, watching saliva come down from their mouths. Like rabid animals. Her loved ones turned to this. Her last image of them. Only one thought came through her, locked in her frozen state. Like the entire world had stopped. She preferred that to be the case. Because then, this all could be what she hoped it to be.
11.27
“This isn’t a nightmare?”

Why? Why was that enough? As she saw those fangs close on her… and then stop. Nimbus closed her mouth. Not sure what she saw. Soul only seeing herself inside those blank eyes. That broken filly with her mane in tangled locks all over her head and reddened eyes. Where her fur was damp yet no tears fell. No nightmare. That’s… that’s me. What has happened to me? So strange. She looked so pathetic. So useless. Not the pony she came to see herself as. Like… this wasn’t the filly that Nimbus and Starry spent so long trying to make her in to.

She saw it. That’s…. that’s me. From long ago. That’s the filly she always knew herself to be. The one who cried inside of a box without her mother. Who feared everypony else and locked herself away to keep herself safe. Who didn’t expect to have friends.

This… this wasn’t the pony worth what Nimbus and Starry did for her. This pony… was a mistake. Now she was it again. Weak and backed into a corner. Left to fend for herself and fear everything. Yet, they didn’t come at her. She expected them to. Just staring at her. Why? I’m nothing now. She had nothing left. Like everything was empty. Nimbus and Starry are gone. Her love went with them. Because one thing was true.
11.28
“They did leave me. They did hate me… so they’d rather go and leave me behind than have to bother with me anymore. Of course… everypony does.” That was all that filled her mind now. Not even caring about these monsters before her. Both of them closing their mouths and looking to each other. What’s wrong with them? I lost everything. They never loved me.

It just seemed so fitting that Nimbus and Starry were here to back her up like this and make her feel so terrible. As they did before when they left her. They were no better than her mom. Them and these Changelings, they may as well be the same. They were the same. They all proved to her just how weak Soul was.

“They left me… because I wasn’t good enough.” Soul fell against the door. Letting her wings fall to her sides. It hurt. Hurt too much to do anything. She had enough. So weak. She couldn’t even move anymore. Couldn’t bear the gaping wound in her. I don’t want this. I want what I had. “I want them back.” She found herself questioning herself for looking up at those two in front of her. Nimbus and Starry. Yet them being those creatures of spine and thorns with skin as black as night who had taken them from her.

“I want what I had back. Why? …Why did you take them?” At least then she could have lived on thinking they loved her. Anything is better than this. But it was wrong. All of this was. Her asking them. The fact that they cocked their heads when she asked it. Pausing. Is what I asked too hard to answer?

“Tell me.”
11.29
“You really are a different pony than what we saw last night” Nimbus said. “Weird… you called them your mom and dad, and now you say they don’t love you?” Of course she was different. But she had nothing to say. Stunned that… that this one was actually talking to her. Towering over her with that comforting body she loved and the terrifying eyes she wished were not there staring down at her.

“You ponies and your feelings, so… malleable. It almost makes me shiver” Starry said.

“Honestly” Nimbus joined in. “How can you even think that they hated you? Are you really that insecure? Or just blind?”

I’m not. They would not have left if I had just kept my mouth shut and let them sleep together. But she couldn’t say it. Nothing. Just watching the two ponies pace before her. Looking at her. Like the gazes of the real Nimbus and Starry as they spoke their words… with their voices. “It’s crazy you think that. After all, those two gave us more love than anypony else. We could sense it. Smell it” Nimbus licked her lips. “Like no other. Oh… we never feasted like that before! We never imagined ponies could love like that, have such love for another. It was… divine.” Soul gulped. Almost sickened by what they said. Like she read in the books.

They… these monsters. They only see us as food. Talking about Nimbus and Starry like that. She wanted to scream. To hit them. But she had nothing left. Just to revile. Hate them. For taking that love away.
11.30
“I thought I had it, but I didn’t” Soul said. “So naïve” Starry chuckled. “She really is” Nimbus agreed. “Let me guess, something bad happened to you before and now it left you a total wreck. Grow up, kid.” She slithered a long tongue towards Soul.

“Maybe you should look at the fact that they did enough for you to… I don’t know, be your mom and dad. You clearly loved them. You really think they didn’t love you?” “I…” Soul shivered. Looking down to the ground. She really didn’t know anymore. She didn’t want to think they didn’t love her. But it all hurt. They hurt her.

“If they didn’t love you, then why was that love they had for you… so delectable?” Nimbus asked. She looked up to the creature. What did she say? “So much that we got so lost in it. So sorry they didn’t survive” Nimbus giggled.

“We can sense this type of stuff, those two harbored such a love for you” Starry said. Am I supposed to believe them? These beasts with fangs and murder in them. So much spit dripping from their mouths. Staring at her. She knew they wanted to do to her what they did to Nimbus and Starry. Why? Why are my wings not working? Why does it all hurt? Why did they leave me? “If they loved me, then why did they leave?!” A long pause. None of them moved.

Soul could only listen, her eyes closed. She could hear them. Their ragged breaths. Their still hooves. Her slow heartbeat. Wanting Nimbus and Starry to be here to answer her.
11.31
Nimbus spoke. “Because they were so happy over something. Must have been something big. Maybe they made a big decision. But we could taste it. They had something, something that made them so deeply in love and… it all centered around one name. Soul Serenity. It was a love we have smelled before.”

Soul opened her eyes. Seeing Nimbus right in her face. So close, she could smell the putrid scent of something foul in her breath. A love? “That of a love to a daughter.”

A daughter?

Soul blinked. “Really? Do you think they hated you? You were the only pony they did so much for. Felt so much for. I’m pretty sure they gave you lots. Lots to know they love you.” They… they did. Soul admitted it. Even if it was just basic care. Obligations to her. They gave her more. More than she would expect. They gave her something amazing. They gave her something her mom never did. A dream. One she could reach alongside the thing most precious to her. The best thing they ever gave her. One that she longed for. They gave her… a best friend. I would never have met Dashie without them. We would never be friends. Rainbow Dash. You… Nimbus, Starry… I’m so sorry.

She is all you have left of them.

All I have left. Dash is my world. She couldn’t believe it. There’s a pony out there that is that important to her. She is all I have now. “Rainbow Dash.” The best thing in my life. She taught me so much. I… I shouldn’t be weak. I need to be strong. A strong pony for her. Strong enough to stare down these two monsters before her with their mouths wide and fangs gleaming at her. Their slow steps towards her and their terrifying voices.

“Rainbow Dash has lots of love for you too. I bet she will be just as delicious.”
11.32
Soul. Run.

Run! I have to. For the pony I promised to be there for. My last love. The only pony to invite her to a party. The only one to step up to stand at her side. The only one she felt comfortable with holding… and kissing. To do everything with, just like we promised. That is our dream. Everything, we will do it all together. I won’t leave her behind. She gives her strength.

The strength she needed to flare out her wings and soar into the air. Not even turning back to look. She only heard the clamored and angered grunts of the two Changelings down below, and she didn’t look back. She couldn’t. She had to leave this behind. With it all ringing through her ears. The truth. Nimbus and Starry are gone, but they left me something. You need to protect her.

I need to be strong. They took my loves from me. But that last one was what made her soar. Zooming right past them. Through the house she had come to call her home. No longer. It may as well not be anymore. It wasn’t her home. No more. She had a new home and a new family. One that she was gifted. That was where she needed to be. For the pony she loved. Soul didn’t need to even try, just a quick lash of her hooves to send the deck door flying open and then… she was gone.

Zipping off into the sky.
11.33
Even if they are gone, I will do everything for Dashie. I promise this. Fly to any height and do any extreme to keep her with me. I won’t be that stupid filly who lost the two ponies who cared for her. Not again. I always just sat back and watched. I never did anything for myself to keep the ponies I love. But no more. She had no more tears to shed. No more pity in her empty heart. Just that ringing sensation. One she had long ago, when she decided to race for her own happiness. I will be strong again.

There was nopony left to hold her hoof. It was only her now. One filly. But she had all that was left of the two who loved her. A friend out there to protect. She will not let them hurt her. Hurt anypony else. They made fun of me and mocked what we had. I’ll show them. I’ll show everypony.

For the first time, she felt it. It wasn’t strength like she felt before. Or something beyond her control. She felt like she had it. Like it was her turn to control what happened. Finally. I will do it all. To protect her. That meant going to her. That is what Soul did.

Leaving behind that house she had lived in for years. Not looking back as she thundered across the sky and warped the air around her. Nimbus and Starry were gone. That made her sniffle but… she glared ahead. Going down the path through the sky she remembered. Flying with the determination and skill she needed. Something that Nimbus and Starry granted her. She didn’t even need to look to know she was safe. They may have Nimbus’ and Starry’s bodies, but they didn’t have their skill.

Soul was the last pony who had that. All their training so that no monster could catch her. Not even them. They would not stop her. I’m coming for you, Dashie. We stand together. Dash always had her fierce determination. Time for Soul to show it too. So strange. Even as her heart ached. As she saw her old world leave her. Never to come back. That all that love she had was gone. She wasn’t afraid. She still felt that drive like she did before when she decided to race alongside Dash months ago and changed everything. To protect the last love she had of the life she lost.
11.34
Off to the one life she had left. Flying high over the same neighborhoods as before yet all was so different. In an open sky that felt so heavy. Soul burst through the falling snow. Past all the other houses she had no business for. Only the one she spotted ahead with its rainbow encased lawn and the thick cloud monstrosity in the back.

She looked all around her. Just the sight of other pegasi flying in the sky with her amongst the clouds. Fillies like her playing in the falling snow. Colts alongside them. All of them together as friends. Something Soul could not do. Not again. That was what made her even sadder. Like she really did just lose all that. Left to make sure she was alone. Alone from… from Nimbus and Starry who she could not see.

One more tear but she furled her brow and dashed off to the one place she felt safe to go. She touched down into the cloudy gardens before the walkways. Rushing along it. The same steps she took not so long ago. So much happier then. No smile on her face. No bags for a fun night. Just her teary eyes and the fur on her back. Running up to the door. She took one last look back. Finding nopony there. None following her. Then she realized her heart was racing so fast it almost could beat out her chest. What has happened to me?
11.35
Soul didn’t hesitate. She slammed on the door. Over and over. Faster. Like she lost track of how many times she knocked on it with her head sinking and more tears streaming down. Until her hoof couldn’t do it anymore and fell away from the door. Damn it. All that strength gone and back again when she slammed her hoof one last time against the door. So hard, she startled herself with how loud it was. Fearing she may have made them upset. That is if… her fears weren’t growing over something else. The fact that she stood here and nopony came to answer the door. No. No.

“D-Dashie!” With another knock against the door. Damn it, no! Nothing. Soul spread her wings. I can’t let anything happen to you. She flew up into the sky, high over the rooftop of the house and around it. Over into a high hover above the backyard. Where is it? Where? She looked along the windows. Dash had… that one! A single window looking out upon the backyard compared to the two double sets alongside it. That was Dash’s room. Soul doing to her… exactly like Dash did to her on their first night together. If only it were the same.

She could only cry and float down to sit before Dash’s window. Where the Sun shone in to light it up the inside for her through the open curtains of cloudy blue and white. “Dashie!” she called out. Placing her hooves against the window. Looking inside at the room she recognized. Like nothing changed except only Dash’s bed was in there. Empty. A neat room. She even left one of her Wonderbolts books out on her bedside. But that was it. An empty bedroom and a silent house. All of that being what it took to make Soul even more terrified. She should have guessed. After all, I did bail on them. Last minute. She must have looked like a jerk. Now… she knew it. They were gone. Off to Canterlot. Seeing the Wonderbolts without her.
11.36
She almost did it. Smack her hoof into the window. Just short of hitting it. Left only to curse to herself. But we were supposed to see it. All of us. She… she had to get it out of her head. The longer she thought of it, the more it hurt. So much crying. It… began to hurt just to cry in her stinging eyes.

No more tears, Soul! She had to command herself. But. This. This was all too much. Just a filly left to become an adult right here. On her own. It’s not like I’m a mare. I need… I need somepony. She needed to be with Dash. The one thing left. But she didn’t know how.

Already thinking of doing it. Her wings readied themselves. Somewhere out in the valleys was the castle city they were supposed to go to. Far away in the mountains. Those spires and gleaming peaks inside the cliffsides. Inside the vast capital of the entire land. But she shrunk at the idea. Even with her wings ready, looking out into the sky past the giant towers of Cloudsdale, she didn’t even move. Frozen. No… how do I find them? Three ponies out there in a giant city. Where was the show even being held? She looked back at the house. Maybe they are home? She just needed to pound on the door harder or… maybe force her way in. Anything to protect Dashie. Unless they really are gone. Then what?

I got to go to Canterlot on my own. With no idea on where it was she was supposed to go. Who would… Soul looked up. Her eyes widened.
11.37
Nimbus and Starry.

She spotted them. Both pegasi flying across the sky. Side by side. Like no different than when they would fly together. Except it wasn’t them. If only it was. Looking around for her. Like they would do if she had gotten lost. No. Not this time. Not when she backed away and looked around. Hiding behind the house and looking out to nothing. Just left there fleeing from the two ponies she had loved. I just can’t. It hurt too much to do this. She had to go. She needed to find Dash. She had to go to Canterlot. Alone.

I’ll do it. She squinted her eyes. Spreading her wings wide and flapping faster. If she could cry any more, she would. All she could do was fly. Going right down and underneath the huge set of clouds that Dash’s backyard was covered in. She kept her eyes closed, rubbing at them. Not caring for anything. None of this.

Her eyes so heavy and stinging and like her body could collapse. But those wings kept going. Nonstop and she cleared the clouds, flying away from it all. Soaring off into the sky once more, no idea where. Somewhere in Canterlot. Somewhere far out there… that made her body shake and her entire self hurt. S-somepony can help me. That’s it. She would find somepony. They can tell her where it is. Yeah. That’s a great idea. Maybe then she would stop feeling all this pain. Be able to hug Dash sooner. It almost… made her giggle. After all, she was a helpless filly right now who needed her friend and needed to know she was safe. That’s all that mattered.

She knew… just where to go. Somewhere ponies can help. The only place left right now she could think of. A place… from happier times.
11.38
Those times were so missed. She could only rub her eyes as she flew and try to relive the pain in them, shaking her head and trying to look back out into the snowy sky she flew through. The same sky as always, though it was so much bleaker to her. Was it that she flew alone in it? No Nimbus or Starry at her side.

She could only tremble as she remembered and desperate to forget. Closing her eyes and holding them in her hooves when one little cry came out. She almost didn’t notice it till she heard the pony cry out and she looked back up with a start. Just in time to skid to a halt before she could run into the stallion flying before her, shocked that she had been coming right at him. Left to just float there in front of him and his unamused face.

“I’m sorry…” she whimpered. Holding her hooves close to her face. “You shouldn’t fly with your eyes… wait…” the stallion looked upon her but she only shrunk away.

“You okay, kid? You look terrible.” “I’m fine.” Soul only wanted to go. After all, looked like she only made this stallion upset with her. “I’m sorry I almost hit you” she came close to crying again and reeled back her wings. “Wait…” he held his hoof out to her. She wouldn’t have it. I just want to find somewhere safe.

Leave me alone. She banked herself right and dashed off away from him and the other pegasi she saw who noticed her little run in back there. All of them to see just how bad she was doing and then she couldn’t even notice it again until she felt it.
11.39
Soul shrieked and bucked sideways with a flash of her wings when she hit right into the icy cold clouds floating around them all. She couldn’t even think before her wing stung and she saw she had clipped right against one of the thick clouds packed with icy snow in her hurry, making her yelp and hiss with that left wing of hers waving wildly just to shake off the pain of running right into such a hard cloud.

With one eye, she looked out to all the pegasi who floated around and watched her do that stupid move. Some came closer. Offering their help. No. She held her wing in close, tired of letting her last wing do all the work and spread her left one once more with a stinging pain running down its span. Not enough to keep her from flying.

I look like such an idiot. I am an idiot. Sitting up here messing around. Nimbus and Starry were out here, and that fear of them finding her. It was real. Finding her before she could get to Dash.

Sweet Celestia, it hurt to move that wing, but she managed. Just another thing that made her shed a tear and she turned off to fly away from it all. That first flap so strong and it hurt the most. Almost making her gasp from the black spots that popped in her eyes and almost made her pass out.

“Wait kid!” She heard from behind. She didn’t. Only flying off over the houses of Cloudsdale and off to where she knew to be the last place she could go to try and find help. Running on nothing left, only the pain in her wing keeping her awake now as her stomach rumbled. She held it tight but never looked away from what was ahead of her. Off into the clouds.
11.40
But no matter how much she pushed, that pain did not cease. Felt like it was only getting worse. But what was it to her? Another thing on top of what she had to go through. It made her laugh a little to herself before she cringed in pain.

Smiling under her blood red eyes to the sunny sky piercing through the clouds. Not many pegasi could go through what she was. Maybe she was strong. If only it mattered. Nothing she ever did led to anything good. It only led to this. That was what she was convinced of.

May as well be this pain was punishment or even a trial while she flew the distance to where she wanted.

Off to the last place where she would fly together with Nimbus and Starry every day. When she would look over and see the smiling faces with her and they made her smile. It did that right now. Though it hurt inside to remember those times. But… when I rode on her back sometimes. Those times were great. I loved them. Nimbus was always so strong and always loved giving her rides. The filly couldn’t even slow her down. Just a chance for them to enjoy the sky together. Now she did it alone with no joy inside her. No happiness left. Just her blurry vision and the world spinning around her when a sharp pain ripped through her stomach from a growl.

Damn it. That pain made her leap for a moment and then she levelled out once more. Sticking her wings out and more pain from that. May as well be like she was being stung from all sides. Torn to shreds from within and nopony there to comfort her. Just a few ponies she saw in the sky that she passed who caught a glimpse of her failing in her flight. Right when she opened her eyes once more and saw it ahead.
11.41
The same place she would see every day. With its large, blue walls topped in clouds surrounding a massive plain for pegasi to fly free within all the vast setups of cloud courses and obstacles. Right there where the gate was surrounded by pillars where she would land at in the mornings side by side with the ponies she loved. Back in times when that was possible.

Today, she flew there alone. Nothing left in her except that aching agony to do what it was that she could to save all she had left. She had to keep going.

Zooming in on none other than Junior Speedsters flight camp. Past all the pegasi outside of it, past all the houses and open fields around it. Where she left behind the gate and flew over all of it. It was so different, it made her frown grow larger. The same place as before but so lifeless. So few ponies left here and… when she would come here and find so many. Damn it! She smacked her head. Stop it. Stop hurting.

I just need to… she looked and saw the ground coming in at her.

What!? Her left wing cracked. Froze up. With just a burst of speed from her right wing to turn her, she reared her hooves out and closed her eyes. Right as her left wing gave out.
11.42
Soul fumbled and her legs gave right as they hit the ground. Doing all she could with her last wing before it too could do no more and she fell over. The filly tumbling and falling on the ground with a loud thud and a crack of her wings. A noise so bad it would make her revile if she could bother without all the stinging pain coming over her.

Nothing more than a rag doll. Her body flipping over. Sliding along the clouds and digging a deep trench in the clouds. A scar along the fields of the camp she always came to. Where she would sit upon the stairs to the building before the gate and watch all the kids come in one by one. Back during dark days.

She never imagined becoming this when she finally skidded to a halt and laid there motionless. Crying to herself. Reduced to a broken mess before those very stairs. Like her entire body was ripped. Her insides torn.

She didn’t dare to open her eyes. Just hold herself and cry. Embracing even more. Terrible pain all over her body, she had no doubt she had hurt herself. But… did it matter? Coming back to this camp once more a shattered mess with hunger in her belly and her eyes stinging. But nothing, nothing came close to what she felt earlier. Why she could find a way to curse herself. Even with this agony. Nothing came close to the emptiness she had felt earlier.
11.43
For a second there, she really did think she had just done this in front of everypony. All the kids here to laugh at her once more. Dash to abandon her. Nopony helping her. Because she made a fool of herself.

Wait. That’s right, all the kids are at home. Hearth’s Warming break. She doubted anypony would care otherwise. They’d all laugh at her. Even with this terrible sting along her body that made her grip herself hard and yell out at the top of her lungs. Screaming when her wings spasmed and fell silent. On until her voice went ragged.

Please… why is nopony helping me? Soul opened one eye and clenched it tight. Rolling over on to her side and groaning before she screamed once more from the pain that came by just turning over on to her belly and sprawling herself out. Trying to push herself back onto her hooves. One. Two. She tried, then she fell back down. A little shriek from her being her reward. Get up. I got to… get help. Get… “Help!” She managed to scream with one faint breath.

Help me. She had to get up and find a way. If only… if only Nimbus was here. She would help her. Pick her up and fly her away. Soul wanted that. Through all this pain, she still wanted to be held by her. Again. Like you did before. Soul cried. Pick me up, mommy. Help me. Turned into a foal at this point left to cry by herself and slam a hoof against the clouds. Trying all she could. Lifting her wings. She tried so hard. But it hurt. Hurts just to move. It really is a trial. Like life testing her to see if she was strong enough to protect Dash. She is all I have left. I have to be strong.

Just… to do it alone.

So suddenly. More than any filly could do. All she wanted was some help. Once again. But she only laid there. Silently crying to herself. How… how am I supposed to find Dash? Not when I can’t even get up. She tried again. Again. Nothing. Then she tried again, and she gasped in shock when hooves came over her.
11.44
Nimbus? She looked up, up to whoever it was that picked her up. Upon wings that took her into the sky. So many wings, and her heart sank. Because they were wings she did not know. All of them.

Not rescued by the ones she loved, gone forever. Left to be rescued by a group of pegasi she did not know. None other than the stallion who she ran into earlier who was the one that picked her up, with so many other mares and stallions with him. She looked around at them all. All the concern upon their faces and shock at seeing her like this. Though none of them knew who she was. Yet they still came to help her. Is that more than what she could ask for? She would be grateful if it did not hurt so badly to be held right now with the stallion’s legs digging against her side… right where she had crashed on to.

“We better get you to…” Soul screamed before the stallion could finish and pushed him away. Slipping free from him and then… she had to do it. She flapped her wings and felt them scream inside just to keep herself from falling. That felt so terrible. No matter what kindness these ponies gave her, just touching her alone was too much.

“Get away from me” she yelled at them. Floating back on her hurt wings with all they could do to keep her aloft. The filly rubbing her side and looking over at it to where she could see how badly ruffled her fur was all along it with so many small scrapes blistering out through the magenta fur. Gently settling her poor body except for her wings. They could get no rest. Just a little… blood on her pooling down along her fur. Not nearly as bad as what she had gone through before. Certainly not enough to stop her.
11.45
“Kid, we need to get you to the doctor” the stallion said as he approached her but Soul backed away. Backed towards a mare who came in just as concerned.

“What happened to you dear?” “Is she going to be okay?” “Poor thing.” “Somepony get help, quick.”

All these damn voices around her ringing in her head. Really it takes me getting hurt to get others to help me? She put her hooves to her ears, drowning them out and cringing. So angry at this with her wings pounding behind her in agony. She just wanted to go back now to other times when ponies ignored her and let her do what she wanted. Not threaten to take her away to help her, not when she couldn’t do that. Screw her injuries. She looked up to the ponies before her. I’m not a problem. She didn’t want them to help her with this. With the ponies coming to help her, she flapped away further and shouted.

“Get away from me! I don’t need a doctor.” Just how closed in she felt made her want to fly away. With the entire world crashing down on her. This was not what she needed now. Don’t help me, help me help Dashie. “Sweetheart” a silver mare spoke out among the adults. “You need help.”

“All I need…” They can help me with something else. “Is to know where the Wonderbolts show is.” They all looked about as confused as she’d expect of them. Either way, she made it apparent she would not cooperate. Regardless of what she thought. Just keeping away from them with her wings ready. Knowing she could fly off if she wanted. If they didn’t want to help her. She no longer cared about herself.

Only one thing was important. “Please tell me.”
11.46
“Why do you want to go? You know the show started about an hour ago from what I remember” one mare said among them with a voice so soothing. Like they all just wanted her to calm down. Like they would believe me.

Haha, just tell me. Soul fought hard to hold back a snarl. Doing all she could to stay calm despite her stomach rumbling again and making her flinch. “I… overslept and… I want to go see. At least a little of it. Where is it?” Just then noticing she sounded like a total fool. Ugh, it hurt too much to bother. Right now, it took all her strength just to keep from snapping at them all. Just to keep a fake smile. Or they may take her to the doctor. Dashie, I won’t be able to help her.

Please just tell me, she came close to shedding another tear. The ponies looked to one another and the same mare finally answered. “It’s in the Canterlot Castle but…” Soul leaned in and listened. Yes. What is it? “I need to get there quickly, what’s wrong?” Soul pried from her. “You kind of need your parents to get in, otherwise…” the mare shrugged. “You won’t be allowed in.”

Wh-what?! But Soul could have sworn this event was open to any pony. What was she even saying, needing her parents? That can’t be. “Why do I need my parents?” “It’s sort of a more closed thing, dear. The princess herself is attending it.” “So… I need my parents to get in and…” she almost said ‘save Dash’.

She held her tongue which went dry and her spirits sank. “That’s just how it is this time, kid” the stallion said. That… Soul shook her head. They had to be lying. No. This must be some trick, something to keep her away. Even if the princess is there, …I should be allowed in. Without fearing guards would throw her out. Somewhere out there in the Canterlot Castle. When all I want to do is…

“No! You’re lying!” Soul accused them and felt a crick in her wing that made her shut up and gasp in pain. She almost fell right there. “Kid, you’re in no condition to go there. How’s about we find your parents and get you some help” the stallion said. “I don’t need help! Just… tell me how to get into the Wonderbolts show… please.” That was when Soul let out a tear. Something that I can do. Damn it, I’m just a filly. Why do I have to be just a filly?
11.47
“Hey now…” the stallion whispered and came a little closer before Soul shot backwards away from him even quicker. By then, the pain had dulled. Like it was not even affecting her anymore. Not like it matters. Not with the pain in her heart.

“Just show me and I’ll go…” Soul said.

“Soul, you’re not going there alone” a familiar voice spoke out.

Like all around her. Filling her ears and pounding inside enough to make her widen her eyes and gasp. No. No. Soul backed away. Almost in time, right when the mare came down to join them all. Nimbus flying in with her huge wings. Looking like nothing was wrong. Like all was good even if she looked so concerned for Soul. Right with Starry coming in and that was when Soul truly felt terror. Surrounded by all these ponies. All of them and what it was she now faced.

“You know you aren’t allowed to go” Starry said, with all eyes on him and Nimbus. What is this? Those looks in their eyes. Like they gave a damn. Like they did to Dashie. Damn liars. Even as Soul’s eyes twitched, she managed to bare her fangs. With all the fear inside her. All the silence in her. Such shock. Shock that they had found her.
11.48
“You know her?” the stallion asked Nimbus and Starry. “We’re her parents” Nimbus said with such confidence.

No, you’re not. Soul shook her head. I have no parents. Not anymore.

“Soul, you need to come back home so we can help you. Oh no… you had a terrible fall.” Soul hated how Nimbus looked so concerned for her. She despised it. Saying things she would want the real Nimbus to say to her. How dare her. How dare she make me cry, with tears streaming down. Every word she said, a lie through Nimbus’ teeth. You took her from me, and now she’s trying to be Nimbus. To me!?

Leave me alone. “Leave me alone, you’re not my parents!” Soul shouted. Turning heads. So loud was she. So much anger in her voice. She completely forgot how much her wings hurt as both of them flapped wildly. She could actually show how angry she was now that she was surrounded. Surrounded by so many ponies who didn’t want to help her. By the two ponies who looked so broken at hearing her say that.

“Soul…” Nimbus whispered.

“What’s going on here?” one of the mares asked. I’ll tell you what’s going on. Soul grinned. Feeling it sting inside her with how much she hated having to do all of this. “They’re monsters!” Soul pointed at Nimbus and Starry, both ponies taken aback by what she said. “They’re trying to hurt me! Get them away from me.”

Please help me. Now that she had ponies with her, for once they could do something for her. For once. Even as Soul backed away further, she did not let up with her angered glare at them. Anything to keep them away. Because they are not my parents. They are nothing, and they both had all the ponies staring at them.
11.49
“Soul, how can you say that… after all we do for you?” Nimbus asked. A hoof to her chest like she was hurt.

After all you do?! “Shut up! Leave me alone. You’ve done nothing for me” Soul yelled. The real Nimbus and Starry were the ones I loved. Not you. She felt her glare fade and that sadness inside well. She had to wipe her face. To come to this. It felt like she was yelling at Nimbus and Starry. I never want to say these things to them. But they’re gone… forever. They aren’t here to protect me.

“Is there a problem here?” The stallion asked the two fakes. Some of the ponies gathering around them. “What is she on about?”

“Oh… for Celestia’s sake” Nimbus said and put a hoof to her head. Shaking it. “I can’t believe this.” She sighed. Watching it all unravel before Soul. “Soul had a tantrum this morning, okay.” Nimbus groaned. “I kind of didn’t want this to happen but she insists on seeing the Wonderbolts even though she refuses to eat her breakfast. Ugh, I’m so embarrassed.”

“What!?” Soul yelled out over them all. Seeing all the other ponies looking to her and, among them all, Nimbus snickering under her hoof. That little… I can’t believe this. Me, a tantrum?! Surely they don’t believe this. “Oh… I think she needs to go to the doctor’s” the stallion said to them. “She had a bit of a crash.”

No way. Soul felt her entire body slump when she saw Nimbus agreeing with him and just how all the ponies backed away and looked to her. With only Nimbus and Starry there to try and come closer to her. Like they did care. Meeting her eyes with such comforting smiles as they offered to help her. “Come on, sweetie. Let’s get you patched up and we can get some nice pancakes.”
11.50
I can’t believe this is happening. They’re supposed to help me. But Soul only looked across them all and saw just the vacant stares of ponies who did not care. Even some… who shook their heads at her. But I’m… I’m not a bad kid.

Please, I need help. “Please…” she whispered. Her wings flapped and she floated away softly as Nimbus and Starry came closer. All I want is to help Dashie. But nopony is here for me. I really am alone. Dashie… how can I help her? She’s so out of reach. Out of reach of this filly holding herself and looking away in fear. Trembling. She closed her eyes and wept. Please stop. Stop this pain. It hurt so much. Inside her heart. “Soul, let’s go home.” None other than Nimbus said that.

I really wish I could. I really want to. But home was no more and Soul hissed her heart ache between clenched teeth. “Get away from me!”

Soul beat her wings as hard as she could. One final burst and she flew off. Off into those icy clouds once more. All alone. Nopony will help me. She no longer blinked. Just staring ahead of her with a trail of tears behind her flickering in the snow. I can’t even do anything.

Dashie… I need you. I don’t want to be alone. But she was. Flying off. Where to go? There was only one last place. Somewhere to hide. Until she could find her beloved friend and hold her once more. I’m so sorry, Dashie. I really am useless. I can’t do this alone. She soared off. One magenta feather left to float in grace behind her in the wind. Softly touching back down onto the city she left behind.

The world she left behind.

I know you can do it. You always did before.
11.51
The day didn’t make the snow any better. In fact, looked like it was getting worse. Worse for Dash to fly through. She had no idea how the Wonderbolts were able to pull off such hard stunts inside of this weather. Even doing a quintuple loop without losing any speed, with five of them side by side in perfect synch, really astonishing.

She just wished Soul had been there to see it.

That is what brought her down. No matter how much she smiled and cheered at the spectacle, there was always that knowledge that she was alone without the one pony she had wanted to come with her. She couldn’t be mad. She didn’t want to be. After all, things just didn’t work out with Soul and their instructors. Really no use in being too upset over it even if it did suck. A lot. But she believed she had gotten over it. She wanted to.

Since she had waited so long to do this with Soul and it didn’t happen in the end. Mom seemed to understand. She had been sure to give Dash lots of hugs throughout the day… even when Dash cried in her hooves. Soul, I really did miss you. Remembering all that just made her feel worse.
11.52
Yet Soul was nowhere to be found. She had hoped for the filly and their instructors to show up during the show, but they never did. Never saw a glimpse of them anywhere. Reminding Dash that Soul really was gone.

She had bailed. So this show… it wasn’t that great. Not without Soul.

It was just another Wonderbolts show no different than any other Dash had been to. She hated to admit she was in a foul mood. Luckily the falling snow calmed her as she flew through it. Away from the spires and vast setups of houses and rolling cloud fields that made up Cloudsdale. While her parents went home and let her go to fly on her own for a little bit.

Dash couldn’t place it but looked like Windy understood why when Dash asked to be alone and gave her one last hug and a kiss to her forehead as if saying all was going to be okay. Windy could have come. Could have helped her. But Dash figured it would be best for her to have some alone time. More of it, like she was used to.

Flying alone up here over the icy rivers inside the clouds and empty fields that the setting Sun came down over within the horizon patched red in bloody light. The Sun just barely able to peek out over the clouds and light up the glimmering snow coming down in a hail all around the land. Shrouding the cloud mountains in their hazy embrace. Dash flew right through it all. To a place she knew she could go to be alone. The best place she had to just sit down and relax after such a terrible day. A place she could see when she cleared the falling snow and fog and saw the landing perched out among the face of the cliff.
11.53
A good time in the sauna was what she needed.

She set down on the landing. Nopony here like normal. Seemed quiet, and she had nopony to talk to. No friend at her side to join her for this like normal. For now, it was just best to leave it that way. Take time to relax which she really needed. Sheesh, the flight from Canterlot is actually a lot longer than she thought, and sitting for hours in the cloud stands, her haunches chaffed. She had to stretch them out again before walking over to the opening in the clouds.

Stepping down into a world so recognizable. Where the clouds surrounded her and water drained down all around her. Chilly to the touch now, soaking her and making her shiver. Though she didn’t pick up her pace. Just a slow walk down the steps. Not even time to flip her drenched mane out of her face.

No. She couldn’t look up from the cloud ground she walked on. Just being in here, it kind of hurt. Was it a bad idea? Weird to ask that now that she stood in front of the door. Inside where it was warmer and more lovely than out here in the cold yet she hesitated. Enough to look back up the stairs she just descended. Yeah… nopony was with her.

So strange. It’s been so long since she had felt lonely. I should have invited somepony. Maybe Amber? Maybe… she should have looked for Soul. If the filly wanted to go with her. She sighed. What a day. A miserable day. She put a hoof out and swatted through the clouds until she stepped through it all and into a place far warmer to her.
11.54
Even in the dead of winter with so much snow falling outside, this place still managed to be a refuge from it all, such was the beauty of it. Stepping into it and she already felt the warm gust of steam come over her and all the cold from outside swept away. No way it could be in here. The whole sauna was filled with steam still rising from the lake in the middle and warm water coming down all around her. Not even the waterfalls streaming all over the walls had frozen over.

Just coming in here and she already felt a little better, like all her worries melted away slowly. Except for one gnawing thing inside her that no warmth could get rid of. She looked around her and remembered, this was where I made friends with Soul. When we learned to trust one another. Months ago. Yet this place hadn’t changed. No. Not at all.

Dash worried though if they had changed.

It hurt to feel so miserable. Dash had wanted both of them to come here together after the show to warm up. Play in the water together. Then let their day drift away inside this lovely place. The end of their vacation. In such a beautiful way. She didn’t get that feeling now. Just that hurt inside of her. So this is how our vacation actually ends. Well… not everything works out even if it made her sniffle to think that. Staring down at the ground with her ears flopped. What a way for it to end.
11.55
It took a while for her to decide to do anything. Anything other than stand there.

She trudged on over to the lake. Seeing that steamy veil over it like a sheet come over the air. Water flowing out of these clouds and pooling again from the waterfalls above in an endless flow, where the sunlight always shone in from above. Red light coming down from there. Glistening in the water. She stared down at the water. Seeing herself. That cyan filly looking back at her with her mane hung over her face and not even a smile left for her to give. No.

She looked away from herself for a moment, hating how she looked. Really, what is wrong with me?

She took another step and leaned down to take a deep drink of the warm water, lapping it up. So what? It was the only refreshing thing she had today. Hot water or not. A long drink before she reeled back and got the last shiver she had out. That actually tasted good.

Rainbow sifted a hoof through the water. Once then twice and then she put it in right before she stepped in entirely. Ooohh that feels good. The water going all the way up to her wings and warming her up. Sending ripples that finally got rid of that filly in the water that had looked back at her. I feel better already.
11.56
Rainbow sat down in the water. Letting her wings out and reclining against the wall of the lake till the water came up to cover all but her head. Ah, as good as it always was. Peaceful and relaxing. Really the best way to finish off a long day.

Today wasn’t a total bust. Even with that huge disappointment. Yeah. I saw the Wonderbolts. Now she could plan for the next show. Though she would need to get her bits back by then to pay for it. Unless… maybe mom would buy the tickets. I just wanted to do it this one time as a treat for my best friend. That turned out well. Maybe I should be more careful next time and make sure before I go and do something stupid like that again. That is if she wanted to ask Soul again.

Ha! That’s not what she needed, for Soul to do that again to her. After all the planning and effort they had gone through. All that anticipation. Months of looking forward to it. Dash didn’t know if she wanted to deal with that again. Or maybe Soul just didn’t like hanging out with her.

Could it be I did something wrong during our sleepover? Or maybe… this made her sad. So sad to think. That Soul maybe didn’t like her. That she did do something wrong all this time and Soul had enough of her. Or something else. Well… I would say I deserve it. Probably Soul getting back at her for all the mean things Rainbow had done to her in the past.
11.57
Now here she was, all alone in the water. The same water she would play in with Soul. Back when Soul wasn’t so crazy to her. When things weren’t so confusing. Now she had to sit here and wonder what it was that made Soul do this. Regret everything. She hated feeling this way.

Today was supposed to be our day. Soul could see what it is she wanted her and Soul to do together. I just… Dash groaned. Splashing her hoof into the water and bringing it back up to drench her face in a splash. I need to just shut up and deal with it. This isn’t the first time Dash felt this way. She really did hope it would be the last. The last in a long line of disappointments. For now, just take time to relax. Splashing more water in her face again and again till she stopped. Except the water didn’t and her ears perked.

Wait a minute. She heard the splashing again. Echoing inside the sauna. That’s not me, no. She looked over to where she heard it. Across the lake. Past where all the steam rose and filled the air in a misty gaze like it threatened to blind all from what could be seen around them… except for Dash who peered into it and saw the sight of a figure across the lake from her.

Somepony else where the splashes came from and she saw them throwing their own hooves up with water splashing on their face. Who is… looked like… a filly? Too small to be one of the adults. Like any adult would be out here now. Who in the hell is out here now?

Dash stood up.
11.58
She really didn’t feel like playing games right now. Nope, she quickly made sure to try and figure out who was with her because whoever it was better not be trying something.

“Who’s out there!?” Dash called out to whoever it was. Her own voice echoing with the sounds of running water. The pony out there sure did hear here when they stopped in their tracks and she saw their head flailing to look and see. The darkened figure quickly rose to its hooves in a start on the other side of that steam wall. Yeah… it was another kid. They looked so small. Suddenly, Dash felt a lot less worried.

“I can see you” she said to the figure. “Come on out.” They stood there for a moment but then…

“Dashie?”

Wait. Rainbow’s eyes widened. That voice. Like a bell ringing inside her. How was it able to calm her for just a moment? To know she was here. “Soul?” Their two voices met together inside of that veil of steam, not enough to keep them apart as both fillies stepped forward. Dash came closer, seeing her walk towards her too. Lifting the shroud between them slowly, she could see her. The shade of magenta fur in breadth of the steam along the filly who stared back at her… and the joy she began to see on her face. Where Rainbow could see her smile.

“Dashie, …it’s you.” One hoof came out clear through the steam and Dash felt herself actually able to smile. For just a moment.
11.59
Soul stepped out.

Not the filly that she remembered as Dash stood shocked at who it was before her. Soul, what happened to you? That same fright she felt long ago when she saw Soul hurt… she held herself back. Terrified. Not able to meet the happy filly with a smile. Just drenched silver hairs soaked down along her face… just barely able to see one blood red eye looking back at her.

Soul! It almost made Rainbow scream in terror of never seeing anypony look so bad before. So ragged where the veins in her eye pulsed and so much wear and tear along her face. She… she looks horrible. And… is that blood?!

Dash saw all the scratches and scars on her. Running all along her side and her wing. This… this wasn’t the same filly she knew. Looked like she just got out of a fight or something. You look awful. Dash shook her head. Realizing that her mouth was agape. She could finally speak. “Soul… what happened to you?”

“Dashie… it really is you. Thank Celestia” Soul whispered. The filly finally stood still only when Dash waved a hoof at her before Soul could run into her. Almost nose to nose and Soul coughed. Holding a hoof to her mouth and shaking it off to look back up at Dash with her bloody eyes and a smile. It sent shivers down Dash’s spine.
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Even if she was mad, it hurt Dash to see Soul like this. Because she didn’t know what was wrong, even more since Soul was so blank right now. Like there was nothing in her eyes. Where… where had that beautiful light in them gone? Is this even Soul?

“You found me…” Soul said. Managing to do a happy laugh. “And you’re alright.”

“Soul, snap out of it” Dash put a hoof to her shoulder. Something to get her to stop. She didn’t know why it was things got to this, but she had to know. “Tell me what happened, you’re hurt.”

She eyed the blood trickling out along the small openings in Soul’s side. Tiny streams of it. Almost impossible to see in her magenta fur. For just that brief moment, it made Dash forget she was upset. So much like when Soul had gotten hurt long ago. I need to help her. No matter what pain Soul had done to her. “Oh… don’t worry about it” Soul said. “I just fell is all.” In a voice so cold to Dash.

“I’m kind of surprised to see you here” Dash said. “I thought you’d be home.”

What is with her? Soul just stood there staring at her for the longest time. Except she finally stopped smiling. Dropping that happy act because there was no doubt something was wrong. “I came here to wash up a bit, it’s really the best place I have left to be safe… and now you’re here. At least I know you’re safe too.” Soul turned and stepped past Dash. So close, the stunned cyan filly could see it. The dark haze in her friend’s eyes. Shimmering in shadow. Soul would not even look. Just going on past her. That haunting gaze on her. “I’ll keep you safe… just like I promised” she heard the filly whisper.
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Why did she shiver? Just from hearing that. Like something clawed at her from behind in a frightening whisper to her. Piercing through her. Even with Soul there, like somepony else touched her.

All of it crashing down on her in that scary thing that Soul said.

Keep her safe? What are you on about? She wanted to ask Soul. But her mouth didn’t move. But… every time that Soul whispered to her, it always was so soothing and calming. A chill of the cool air to her that always helped. Able to even lull her to sleep. Not this time. What has changed? Soul was something… different. Much like she felt when she saw her for the first time today in her doorway this morning. That scared filly with a ragged mane and bloodshot eyes. Not the filly who made every day so warm to her just by being near her. No. I shouldn’t feel this way.

Dash followed her movements. The filly stumbled over her own hooves in the water and recovered, just keeping up her pace to go over to the edge of the lake and then look back at Dash. “We should go home, you can tell me all about today. I don’t know about you but… I’m up for a little flying. Something to get my mind off things.”

Soul giggled and tried… she did try to open up her wings but even Dash could sense the creaking inside them as those giant wings opened and then stopped midway. Making Soul flinch.
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“I don’t think you can do any flying” Dash pointed out. “What’s wrong? Please tell me.” She came over to join her. Having forgotten her feelings all this time, but until now when she heard Soul say “Tell me how the Wonderbolts were. Was it fun?”

You mean… the same Wonderbolts we were supposed to see? She wasn’t even answering her question. But it sure did make Dash frown. This filly really trying to make it out like nothing was wrong. Soul was stubborn, but not to this extreme where it was annoying. “It went fine…” Dash spat. “Had a front row seat and everything. Got to see the princess and eat some good food while watching the very ponies you and I were supposed to see together. It went so well.”

Just saying that last part. She felt her heart bleed a little though no tears came. No, …she had no more to shed. Otherwise, it only hurt to try and cry. Pain in her eyes. Our chance went by. It’s gone, so now she knows. Unless she wants me to keep going. This filly with her dumbfounded look like nothing was wrong.

Soul was just blank. How? How can you be so heartless? Dash clenched her teeth. “They pulled off so many tricks. Lots of team tricks I want to do, I really wish somepony else had been there to watch them with me so we can do them together. But I had to sit there by myself for most of the show. I had a cloud just for the two of us… too bad I didn’t get to share it.” Until mom came and wanted to sit with me… but she wasn’t the one I wanted. I wanted the pony who held me. Who made me feel so… she growled in her mouth. I can’t even speak anymore, and like Soul couldn’t either. No. The filly stood there, staring back at her with eyes that just lost all their luster.

Soul finally blinked and she sighed. In the most chilling rasp she ever heard come out of Soul’s mouth. Like it wasn’t even her voice for a moment. Something deeper and scarier to her.
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“I’m so sorry. I’m glad… that at least… at least you got to go. Make some good memories and now… Dashie, you better make sure you remember them. Those types of things, being with ponies who care for you, it’s stuff you should love forever. Cuz you never know when it will be taken from you.” All that did was send chills down Dash’s spine.

“What are you even saying?” She never heard Soul talk like that before. It sounded so terrible. “Maybe sometimes, you and I can make more memories?” Soul asked. “After all, I’m gonna miss all the stuff I had before. So… can I…” she looked back up at Dash. “Can I be with you? I can protect you, as long as you don’t leave me too. It’s all I ever asked of ponies.”

“Soul…?” “We’ve known each other for how many months now? All the memories we made together. When really…” Soul looked down at what Dash saw to be her own reflection. The terrible looking magenta filly looking back up at her before it was cast away by a splash of Soul’s hoof. “I never deserved any of what you gave me.”

She sounded so angry when she said that. But… it struck at Dash’s heart. You did deserve it. Soul was the one who did so much for me, the least she could get was somepony who cared for her when nopony else did. Does she really think she’s not worth it? It was true, this was not the same Soul she came to know, and Dash did not know why.
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“You gave me my first flying partner. My own wingpony. So many hours of training… and you gave me a new dream. You gave me the confidence I needed to stand up for myself and you were there for me when I needed you most. You played with me and took me places. We got to see things together and we even got to sleep with each other. More… much more than anything I can say my useless mom ever gave me… or… or even Nimbus and Starry. None of them cared enough. Can I… can I ask you something?”

Dash didn’t know what to say after all that. This was… nothing she ever heard before. Because this was not Soul.

This was not her Soul Serenity. Just saying all that, Dash’s eyes hurt so much. She wanted to cry. She felt it. Nothing came out. It broke her heart to hear Soul say that stuff, and she thinks she doesn’t deserve it. Rainbow was the one with the question. After everything that happened today. She had one.

“Do you think our friendship isn’t worth it?” Rainbow asked. “Of course I don’t think that… it’s why I want to be there for you all the time now. Because you’re all I have left. The only pony who ever made me happy. Because you never ran away from me. Like everypony else did. But I need to ask…” Soul stopped. Sifting her hoof up and down her leg. Rainbow let her go. Watching her friend fall apart before her. A timid little child now. Shaking on her hooves. As if she was afraid. Afraid of who?

“Do you really want to be my friend? Will you just leave me?” So that’s why. She’s afraid of… me.
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Soul was not that strong pony anymore. She was not the pony who raced alongside her to crush the competition. To prove to all that they were strong together. Now, now Dash felt it slipping. Soul was afraid and she did not know why.

“Why would you ask that? Do you really think I’m like your mom? Soul, …tell me what happened. Please.” Soul laughed. Startling Dash. Her laugh echoing all along the room. So loud that she could see anypony outside able to hear it, though it was a short laugh. One that left her speechless at seeing her friend almost give up in front of her and come close to collapsing in the water.

“You’re not my mom. Not even close. She hated me. Wanted me to die because I was not what she wanted. Putting me in a box in the rain, behind some old shop like I was just a stray. Hell, you’re even better than Nimbus and Starry. Those two didn’t even want to stick around to see what I could become. After all the training they gave me and all the hours we spent with them hugging me and telling me how proud they were, that didn’t stop then from leaving my life. Not like you. You were there for me. I want to be there for you too.”

“What did Nimbus and Starry do? Tell me.” Dash had enough. Something did happen and Soul needed to tell her. Those two ponies had been acting strange and they better not have hurt Soul. “I told you this morning” Soul said.

Yes, you did. You did tell me something. Rainbow frowned.
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“Nimbus and Starry… they…” Soul paused. Blankly looking past Dash and then she gulped. Shaking like mad on her hooves. For just a moment. Soul placed a hoof to her chest, like something was wrong with her. Something inside. She didn’t stop. Even with her eyes so wracked in pain now as they trembled. “Are gone.”

Exactly like she said this morning. Before Nimbus and Starry showed up. Rainbow put a hoof to her cheek and rubbed it with her eyes clenched shut. I can’t handle seeing Soul this way. Let alone hearing her be this way. I don’t know what happened to you, but this was not cool. “You’re all I have left, Dashie.”

“Soul.”

“I thought they would be with me forever but I guess I was an idiot.”

“Soul…”

“Please don’t leave me like they did.”

“Soul! What in Equestria are you talking about? I saw them with you this morning before you bailed on our Wonderbolts trip together. Or maybe… you’re gonna spin that whole story again, right?” Dash scowled at her, making Soul shrink before her. The filly sat down and her ears drooped. Right there, cowering before Rainbow. That made Dash widen her eyes.

Oh no, I didn’t mean to… she looked down at her and then to herself in the water. What has today done to me? I just don’t… I don’t know if I can keep this up. After crying all day long and regretting all that had happened, this was not what she needed. Just a day of some quiet… for her to just relax. Maybe she could talk to Soul then. For now, she just wanted to walk away from this. Yet her hooves stayed in place.
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“How can you say that? Do you think I’m lying?” Soul asked. “I watched them die in front of me. Do you know what that’s like?! To see the ponies you love gone. Nimbus… she held me, she let me sleep on her last night and now she’s gone. She was my m…” Soul stopped. Though Dash knew what it was she was about to say. But she didn’t feel the pain. Nothing. She just yelled at herself inside. “And now the Changelings that killed them are out there… and they… they want to take you from me too. I didn’t ask for this. Any of this.”

Dash wiped her face. “Soul…” But she just kept panicking. Practically yelling now.

“I was looking forward to today. But they had to leave and they’re gone now. I won’t let them take you too! I’ll do everything I can to protect you. You’re all that I have left.” How can you say that like I’m some damn prize to you? Shut up. Just…

“Shut up, Soul!” That did it. Soul backed away. She did as she was told, not another word came out. Turned back into that terrified filly that Dash hated to see, but she was too angry over this. Everything Soul was saying was just too much for her and she felt herself about to just break down. Seriously, stop. It hurt too much to try and cry. Soul couldn’t even cry anyways. Yet she thinks I can deal with this?! After what she did to me.
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“I don’t want to talk about it right now. Soul! You hurt my feelings this morning. Don’t you care!?” Dash leaned in on her and Soul leaned back. “I do, Dashie…” she whispered. “Then stop treating me like an idiot. For Celestia’s sake, you really think what you did was cool? I spent so much money for this. I worked so hard and waited for so long to do today with you, but you bailed on me. For what? For this stupid story you keep telling me! Just shut up, Soul and give it a rest!”

Dash turned away from her. She could feel her cheeks red now. Like all the storm clouds in her were boiling and finally able to feel just how angry she was. How much she wanted today. But Soul ruined it.

After all I did for her. What kind of friend does that? No friend I ever had. Soul, you taught me what it is to have a true friend, why would you do this to me now? Did any of it matter? If you’re so desperate to be with me, so afraid of me, why even bother?

“So… do you… do you even trust me? I thought… we trusted each other” Soul whispered behind her.

Dash gritted her teeth. “That was before you lied to me, you jerk!” She stamped her hoof in the water. Turning to Soul. “You don’t want to treat me as a friend, then maybe I will leave!” Her answer to the question. Echoing inside the room. Before all fell silent and she saw Soul do nothing but tremble before one little motion caught her eyes.

Falling from Soul’s eyes.
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Two little streams going down her cheeks. Wrapped in color they should not be. As Soul cried blood… inside eyes that were no longer her own.

So now she does… it hurt too much to watch. Damn it, Soul. Dash closed her eyes and she too felt it, the pain inside. Too much. She had to. Her wings spread and Dash took off. Leaving the water behind. Leaving Soul behind. I can’t do this anymore.

“No!” she heard the scream behind her. Not even able to sense it before hooves came over her. Soul fell upon her. The filly with her huge wings grabbing hold of Dash and… she couldn’t even do anything. Dash found herself falling. Right back down to the lake. Held around the flanks, she could only make one little scream before she hit the ground on her side. Tumbling down into the water with Soul next to her… and she heard the crack before she could even do anything. Dash’s eyes widened… with pain flushing over her and she cried out.

It all happened so fast. What happened to us? Dash looked over to her side, where her wing sat under her weight and she could see it bent. See her span pushed backwards… sickening. Crying out over it in a wail.

What did you do, Soul?! She just found the filly laying there next to her, looking up with shock in her bleeding eyes to see Dash in pain. Ah! Damn it. Dash rolled over. Just doing that hurt so much with her wing now freed and the other one frantically flapping in place. But it was true, she was hurt.
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Rainbow cried out again. Moaning… letting herself be in agony as she stood back up to the best she could do. Feeling her wing limp on her side… before she moved it and felt the sting come over her. But… it moved. Enough for her to flap it. Flap it once and she limped forward with a stumble.

“What… what the hell, Soul?!” “No, …I… I just didn’t want you to go. I need to protect you, please” Soul frantically said. Rushing back up onto her hooves. “Don’t go.”

“So this… is how you do it?” Dash asked. “I just wanted time alone. We could talk about this all later. What made you think this was cool? You jerk.” Dash groaned once more when she tried to flap her wing again. Didn’t feel like she broke anything. Though… it scared her to think how close she may have gotten to breaking something. All because of this idiot.

“Please… stop it. I didn’t mean it” Soul said. “You’re my friend, I just want to protect you.” It hurt too much to hear that. It hurt because of all that had happened. What we have. So why? Why turn your back on me?

Like everypony… everypony else did to me.

She turned back to Soul. Face to face. The running water could not drown it. Soul’s ears perked. Rainbow’s voice lashed out.

“I hate you!”
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I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

The words went on along the walls. Ringing in her ears. As the only thing that Dash thought. Glaring at the pony in front of her. Who cried those streams of red, and whose legs gave under her. With her wide stare, Soul did not even breath.

The words echoed all around. Even Dash could hear them. Even they were enough to hurt her. She could not imagine. But… it was too late.

“Please…” Soul muttered.

I can’t. No more. I don’t want to cry anymore. Dash closed her eyes. “I thought we were friends” Rainbow said, before she turned… and ran. Even with all the pain in her wing. The pain in her heart. Pounding inside… her heart screamed. She screamed too. Running on… past the same place… the same place where they became friends. She passed it all. Leaving it all behind with the wind howling over her.

Soul… Rainbow ran through the wall and left the room behind. Behind… where she heard her. The last sound of the pony she did love.

“I hate you too!” Going through her like a knife. That was what made it happen.
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Rainbow Dash cried.

Her tears finally came out. Out in droves. Flooding the air behind her. Like little sparkles in the cold air as she ran out onto the landing, her tears turning to ice. A stinging pain in her eyes and in her chest, ones that made her sob. Running from the place where it all began… and where it all ended. Soul Serenity. It never happened before where Dash wanted to get rid of her. Even when she yelled at her before. She never knew it. The pain of being hated.

She wanted to fly away. Go back home. To the only place left where she was safe. To never see that pony again. The one she truly did love. I loved her. Soul, you were everything to me. Her wings opened up, running up to the edge of the landing. Out into the sky. Her wings stung but they would do it. She would fly away. Away from it all and never come back.

I wanted to be her friend. So much. My best friend, I left her behind. Friends no more. Like everypony I ever did love. But she was the best one. She was the greatest friend Dash ever had. All ended by three words she spat out of her own mouth. The words that came back to her. Ones she never thought the two would say to each other.
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With all we could have had. Soul Serenity. You were the pony I wanted to fly with forever. The only one I felt comfortable with and could tell anything to. The only pony I could cry in front of. Confess my feelings to.

She always imagined it.

The two of them going on forever to become the greatest flyers side by side. The day they joined the Wonderbolts together. Perform together for all. We could go anywhere. I wanted to take her to so many places and her to do the same to me. Mom and dad saw her as part of the family and so did Dash. They did everything together, and our birthdays… so close. Even if she had missed it, we… we could go to so many Wonderbolts shows together. Dash opened her eyes. Skidding to a halt just short of the edge of the landing. Right over where she could look out upon the fields of cloud that the Sun shone over. Out in the hailing snow that danced all around like pegasi in flight. Like two fillies together in an endless bond within the sky. The bond we lost.

Lost.

I just lost the only pony I ever wanted. Why did this have to happen? She looked out at it all. All of Cloudsdale with her teary eyes. The city we would grow up together in and then go out into the world together. To make more friends. To know more about this world. While you are always the first true friend I ever had. Until the day we graduate… and our parents are there. My mom and dad. And the two ponies you think aren’t that… but they are.

All of them there to hug us as we wear our uniforms together. For the first time. With you, the one pony… I do trust. Trust enough… to have feelings for. To make Dash place a hoof to her chest. You’re more than a friend. You’re my wingpony. The best one out there.

The one I wanted… to kiss back.

Dash looked back. “What have I done?”

No!
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Rainbow got on all hooves and rushed back. Faster than before. With her wings beating the air. Forget the pain. She galloped all the way back. Into the break in the clouds, rushing down the stairs once more. Screaming out her name.

“Soul!” The cyan filly ran in, blasting through the cloud wall and back to where it was warm once more. Stopping there. Where she found it. Herself, …alone. With nopony here but her. She looked left and right.

No. No… Rainbow Dash sat down. Her ears hung low. As did her head. Alone… as she wanted. As ever. With all she had left… of what Soul had taught her… about friendship. She could only leave it with the words she wanted to say to her, left to only be heard by the place… the place where their friendship ended.

“I’m so sorry.”

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