As Spike and I made our way back out of town and closer to our destination, I picked the sweet scent of fresh apples wafting through the air.

The smell did wonders to light my spirits and bring my mind out of the mire it was rapidly falling into and I smiled. If I was going to have an existential crisis, it would have to wait, because for now, I had a job to do.

The sight of those apple trees soon came into view and I quickened my pace slightly, eager to meet this 'Applejack'. The strange pink mare scared me for some reason, and I resolved to avoid her whenever I could, but not everypony in or near this town would feel the same, right?

Even if they all did fear, or at least were wary of me, they wouldn't all act like that mare did... would they?

No, I can't think like that.

I shook my head and continued trotting down the dirt path, determined to stay positive. No matter who or what I was, there was a whole world out there to experience and I wanted friends to share that experience with.

I'm not sure where this desire for friendship came from to be honest. It started out as a desire to know more about the world and the creatures in it—specifically the ponies that surrounded me.

It might've been when I had first read that letter from the Princess, thinking back on it...

I pulled that same letter from my bags and floated it in front of me as I trotted along.

I'd like you to try and make friends while you're out and about in Ponyville...

Friends...

The word made me feel oddly warm inside, and I couldn't fathom why, but after rereading the letter, I knew for sure that that was when things changed. That was the moment I had become enamored with the idea of making friends.

The more I thought about it, the more I felt it was something I had to do.

But then... something happened and I suddenly felt repulsed by the idea.

The feeling was short lived all things considered, but it was a strange and confusing situation nonetheless. I decided not to dwell too much on it as I neared the heart of the farmlands.

"YEE-HAW!"

The sudden enthusiastic shout snapped me out of my musings and I looked up to see an orange earth pony mare in a stetson further ahead. With that cry, she proceeded to buck a tree with enough force to send every apple in it tumbling down and into a basket below.

Spike and I watched her repeat the process a few more times before I decided to introduce myself, inwardly praying that this meeting would go better than the last. I took a deep breath and pushed my fears aside as I trotted towards the mare.

"Excuse me!" I called out with a bright smile, "you wouldn't happen to be Ap—"

"Twilight!"

"Ugh... Spike?" I groaned, "what's going on? Why am I..."

I shook my head and sat up from where I had apparently been lying on the ground. Something felt off again, and as I rose back to my hooves I felt a bit nauseous.

I stumbled a bit and would've fallen again had it not been for a strong pair of hooves supporting me. In my disorientation I wasn't completely sure, but I could've sworn I heard some odd line about 'trotting over a grave'.

"You alright there, sugarcube?"

I looked over to see the orange cowpony eyeing me with no small amount of concern. I blinked a few times and shook my head once more before taking a step back and answering.

"Y-Yeah, I'll be fine in a minute, thanks... um..."

"Name's Applejack," the mare answered with a tip of her stetson, "proud member of the Apple Family. Nice ta meetcha, Miss..."

"It's... Twilight, Twilight Sparkle," I replied uncertainly, "I was actually on my way to check up on the catering for the Summer Sun Festival, you were in charge of that, right?"

"Darn tootin'," Applejack replied with a nod, "mah family an' ah make the best apple dishes ya ever shoved down yer gullet, ah can guarantee ya that."

It was so quick I almost missed it, but for a split second, Applejack's earnest smile became unsure. Before I could ponder on it anymore however, she turned the other way and looked back towards me questioningly, "why don't ya come on back to the farm an' we'll set ya up with some samples?"

"That... actually sounds wonderful," I replied with a strained smile, "I do need to make sure everything is in order regarding the catering after all."

"Well, shucks, Twilight that practically goes without sayin'," Applejace replied with a chuckle before trotting ahead, "an' this'll give ya'll a chance ta meet the rest o' the family."

"Right," I muttered before following after the cowpony, "c'mon, Spike... let's get this over with."

Spike gave me another odd look, one I ignored, and followed behind me.

Going with Applejack to meet her family was suddenly the last thing I wanted to do... and I didn't really know why. I had another 'episode' which may have had something to do with it, but... why?

Why did this happen again? Both times this happened, I felt like I temporarily lost a bit of myself—like something was trying to push me out of my own head and replace me with someone else... someone I'm not.

Whatever the case, I wasn't going to let this stop me from doing what I needed to do, even if I really didn't want to do it now.

Spike and I arrived at the farm with Applejack, and by that time a little of the enthusiasm I had lost returned, making me feel a bit better. As we came to a stop in front of a large wooden table, I went to ask the orange mare where her family was, but I couldn't so much as get one word out before the musical clang of metal on metal filled my ears.

"SOUPS ON, EVERYPONY!"

And it was after that, that I heard the rumble of hooves... lots of them. I turned towards the sound and my eyes widened in surprise at the massive dust clouds being kicked up.

"Oh geez," Spike muttered, his eyes just as wide as mine as he took an involuntary step back, "that can't be good..."

"Spike, hold on!"

"Wha—whoa!"

I grabbed the little drake in my telekinesis and simultaneously cast a teleportation spell just as the rest of Applejack's family came pounding past. With a pop, I blinked out of existence and reappeared next to Applejack herself with Spike in tow.

"Could you maybe give a bit of warning before your family tramples us to death, please?" I asked with a frown, "it doesn't really set a good first impression y'know."

"What? What are ya..." Applejack looked over to where we had just been standing and at the deep dents in the ground from the many heavy hooves that had tread upon it. She looked back to me and chuckled sheepishly.

"Yeah... I suppose yer right," she conceded, "sorry about that, Miss Sparkle."

"Just Twilight is fine," I replied with a nod, before taking a seat at the table, "alright, so you said you were going to... Spike? Are you okay?"

I had already set the baby dragon down at the table as I spoke with Applejack, and it was only by chance that I happened to catch a glimpse of him as I took my own seat.

He looked like he'd seen a ghost.

He had gone pale—the color draining from his scales, and looking closer I could see a visible shudder overtake his tiny frame. I frowned and moved a bit closer, trying to comfort the dragon. I placed a reassuring hoof on his shoulder, only for him to violently flinch away.

The pang of hurt caught me as much by surprise as his sudden movement did.

"Spike?" I asked worriedly, "what's wrong? Talk to me..."

He must have seen that hurt on my face or in my voice, because he looked away with a guilty, if still somewhat fearful, expression. He gave another shudder before looking back towards me.

"I... I'm sorry, Twi. I'll be okay in a second," he said quietly, "just... just don't teleport me again, alright? I... don't think I like that spell very much."

"Why? What's wrong with it?" I pressed out of both concern and nervousness, "did I... do something weird again?"

"Well... I don't really know if it was—"

"Now that we're all here, lemme introduce ya!" Applejack interjected, sliding next to me and Spike, "these here are the rest of the Apples that came out ta help with the caterin'!" she gestured towards the many, many ponies milling about with heaps of food, "we got Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Gala..."

And the list of Apples went on and on to the point of absurdity. Strangely, the more ponies Applejack named, the more this odd bitterness ebbed away. By the time she got to Apple Bloom—an adorable foal with a red mane tied by a large pink bow—I was smiling and nodding to each of the family members in turn.

"...And Granny Smith," Applejack finished.

The old green earth pony mare snapped awake, muttering something I didn't quite hear, as I was becoming more focused on the massive stack of apple based treats that had been piled up as Applejack spoke.

I turned to Spike, still worried about what he had said earlier, but relaxed somewhat when I saw that he had already started digging in. I turned back to Applejack with a grateful smile.

"This is... quite a family you've got here, Applejack," I said as I looked around the large group, "and these dishes look delicious."

"Well, that's mighty kind of ya ta say," Applejack replied with a chuckle, "now go on, don't be shy, feel free ta eat as much as ya like, we got plenty ta go around," she nodded towards Spike who hadn't stopped eating, "yer little dragon friend's certainly got the right idea."

I turned back to Applejack with a nod and a small smile.

"I think I will," I replied, taking an apple strudel in my magic, "thanks, Applejack."

"Aw don't sweat it," she replied with a dismissive wave of her hoof, "just enjoy."

I eyed the treat held in my magic aura.

In truth, I had no clue if these were going to be good or not. In fact, I only knew they were edible based off the knowledge I had gained. That went without saying of course, but it felt as though somepony had only just told me food like this was safe to eat.

It felt like I had never eaten in my entire life.

In fact, the entire concept of eating to sustain one's life felt oddly foreign now that I thought on it. I... was fairly sure this wasn't a normal feeling, and that worried me. It brought up some rather uncomfortable questions I had tried very hard to ignore.

"You okay, sugarcube?"

I blinked and looked over to see Applejack eyeing me with a bemused frown. At my confused look, she gestured to the treat and elaborated.

"You've been staring at yer apple strudel fer the last minute or so," she pointed out, "is there somethin' wrong with it?"

"Oh... no! No, not at all," I quickly replied, "I'm just... not as hungry as I thought I was is all."

"Well shoot, why didn't ya say so?" Applejack asked with a shake of her head, "Ah'm sure we coulda gotten ya something a bit lighter."

"No, that's okay," I replied, lifting the strudel, "you went through all the trouble, the least I could do is finish what I started."

"Well... if ya say so," Applejack said with an unsure raise of her brow, "just don't push yerself if ya can't finish it."

I nodded and turned my attention back to the strudel with a small frown. Reluctantly—almost fearfully—I brought it to my mouth and took a tentative bite.

Nothing.

I took another bite.

I didn't taste anything.

My heart began to pound in my chest as I finished the tasteless confection. I quickly grabbed another treat and devoured it. Then I grabbed another, and another, and another, and three more. Eight apple dishes became ten, then fifteen, then twenty-five, and so on and so forth before they were all completely gone.

I couldn't taste a single one.

Not only could I not taste anything that was put in front of me, I didn't even feel any kind of fullness whatsoever from the food. It was like there was a void in place of my stomach.

It felt as though I could've eaten forever and still never have been full, not that it mattered, because this... food, didn't feel life sustaining—not to me anyway. In my sudden panic I failed to notice the shocked looks of Spike, Applejack, and the rest of the Apple family, but I didn't care at the moment.

I was far too caught up in my own frantic thoughts to give them any thought.

Maybe it's just apple based foods.

Maybe there's other things I can eat and I just... don't like apples?

I shivered as doubt, confusion, and fear welled up within me. These weren't the experiences I had been craving ever since I woke up. I wanted to live my life as anypony would. I wanted to fit in, be part of this wonderful existence and make friends along the way.

I wanted to learn.

I wanted to grow as a pony.

I wanted to experience these brand new thoughts and emotions that had captured my interest and held it so tightly. Instead however, all I got was uncomfortable—and sometimes fearful—looks, thoughts and feelings that were more confusing and conflicting than anything, and questions I didn't want to know the answers to.

Questions regarding who I really was.

...Or even what I really was.