I knew emotions were complex things, but I didn't imagine how complex they could really be to somepony like me, who wasn't used to them.

The chariot ride to Ponyville had been largely uneventful for Spike and I—at least outwardly. Inside, I struggled with odd conflicting feelings of being excited to meet new ponies, and being irritated at having to go through with such a task.

I don't even know where the latter feeling came from. I remember being happy that I could meet new friends, then something strange happened, and all that eagerness just... vanished. Suddenly I found the whole idea tedious and a waste of time.

As we made our way towards the small town however, those feelings of anticipation slowly crept back into my mind, and now I was at odds with myself. I was so distracted by the dichotomy of my emotions that I completely failed to notice that we had already touched down on the outskirts of Ponyville.

A nudge to my barrel brought my attention back to my surroundings, and I blinked before looking down at Spike. The little drake eyed me worriedly even as he stepped off of the chariot.

"Twilight, are you sure you're okay?" he asked again, "you were staring into space the whole way here. I know the Princess gave us this big task and all, but it's obvious there's something wrong with you."

"I... no I'm fine, Spike," I replied with an apologetic smile, "I just... need some sleep probably," I hopped out of the chariot, "come on, we should get this done so I can get some rest at the library before it's time for Celestia to raise the sun."

Spike gave me another dubious look. Though it was well meaning, his constant worry was beginning to wear on my nerves a bit and made it difficult to focus on what was happening to me. I cast him a side glance and put the tiniest bit of edge in my voice as I spoke again.

"Drop it, Spike."

Spike's eyes widened and he raised his claws defensively.

"Alright, alright fine," he said, backing away slightly, "I just want you to know I'm here if you need anything."

"And I appreciate that," I replied, making my way over to the town just ahead, "but it's really not necessary right now, I just need some time to think and rest, that's all."

"...If you say so, Twi."

"I do," I responded simply, "now come on, we don't want to fall behind schedule."

Spike nodded after a moment and I lowered myself down so that he could hop on my back. As he climbed up, I felt him pause and shiver before slowly crawling back down again.

"I uh... I think I'll walk this time around, Twi," he said, stepping back and looking away uncomfortably, "if that's cool with you I mean."

"What?" I asked, frowning in confusion as I looked at him, "why? You never pass up an opportunity to laze around on my back while I do all the trotting."

"I dunno," he replied with a half-hearted shrug, "just feel like doing something different I guess."

I frowned in bemusement.

Looking back in my memory, I knew Spike had trouble keeping up with me and other ponies because of his short stature and rather stubby legs. Whenever we went out somewhere together to do something that involved a lot of trotting around, he always chose to ride on my back.

...Maybe I was just reading too deep into it.

"Alright, if that's what you want, Spike," I replied slowly, "just don't wear yourself out trying to keep up."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Spike muttered stepping past me, "can we go now?"

I raised an eyebrow at the sudden attitude, but didn't comment on it. Soon enough, the two of us had reached Ponyville proper and were taking in the sights when the sound of jovial humming caught my attention.

I turned towards the distant sound as it got closer and discovered that the source was a prancing pink mare with an impossibly poofy mane and a smile as bright as the sun itself. Realizing she was heading in my direction I froze.

That strange dichotomy surged and I wanted to simultaneously call out in greeting and move along while completely ignoring the mare. In the end, my desire to communicate won out and I raised a hoof.

"Hey there!" I called out with a friendly smile, "I'm new here! My name is Twilight Sparkle and... I... just... wanted..."

I trailed off in confusion as the pink mare suddenly stopped and stared at me.

She wasn't smiling anymore.

In fact, she had no expression whatsoever.

"Um... hello?" I asked nervously, "is something wr—"

"You don't belong here."

My eyes widened in shock and I took a step back.

"E-Excuse me?"

But the pink mare offered nothing more than that as she backed away, never taking her expressionless eyes off of me. Spike and I watched her as she continued to backpedal away from me. After she had gained a certain amount of distance, she turned and quickly trotted the rest of the way until she was out of sight.

"Huh... well that was weird," Spike muttered in bemusement, "not exactly a nice welcome to Ponyville is it, Twi?"

I didn't hear a word of it.

I was still staring at where the pink mare had gone, my eyes still wide and my heart pounding in my chest. I didn't know who that mare was or why she had said what she said... but it hit me in a way I hadn't expected... and they hit me hard.

Her words had caused me to break out into a cold sweat and I couldn't stop shivering.

"Twilight?" Spike turned to me and his brows shot up in alarm, "Twilight, what's wrong?"

I just slowly shook my head and took a step back before trotting off in another direction.

"L-Let's just get going, Spike," I said in a quiet, shaky voice, "d... don't worry about that mare, alright? Let's just... let's just go find the f-f... first mare on the list," I lit up my horn and pulled the event scroll out of my saddlebag. Unfurling it, I scanned the list of events pointedly avoiding Spike's piercing and troubled gaze, "it looks like we're supposed to see a mare named Applejack."

Focusing on the task at hoof calmed me somewhat and I let out a quiet sigh of relief as the sudden anxiety ebbed. I rolled the scroll back up and put it back in the bags as I spoke.

"According to the list, she lives in Sweet Apple Acres just outside of town and southwest from here," I explained, "so... oh, right. We need to see Mayor Mare first about the arrangements at the library..."

"No we don't," Spike corrected with a shake of his head, "I took a look at the list on the way here. Everything's already clear, we only need to see her if we have any questions about the arrangements."

"Oh... well, thanks for picking up on that," I replied with a sheepish smile, "I guess we should head over to these Sweet Apple Acres then."

The little dragon just grunted noncommittally as we changed direction and headed for the farmlands. I would've worried more about how Spike was acting, but I was too busy trying to figure out why that mare's words had struck me so deeply.

I was aware that I had been asleep in the Darkness for a long, long time, and that I didn't have any sort of form before I woke up, but I was a pony now. I had memories of being a pony—growing up as a pony. I knew what being a pony was about and it felt natural.

I was—am, Twilight Sparkle, protege to the Princess and an intelligent mare with an insatiable thirst for knowledge.

Didn't all of that make me just as much of a pony as she was, even if I didn't start out as one?

What made me so different that she would just come out and say I didn't belong?

Maybe it was just me reading too much into things again, but the way she had said that... it sounded like she meant far more than just me not belonging in this town, I was almost sure of it.

I didn't like this.

I didn't like feeling this way.

First it was Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts, and Minuette, then it was Spike, and now this new mare. Why was everypony so wary of me? Sure, I might've done something bad to the first three mares I had seen, but that was an accident, and I didn't even know what I was doing—and besides, it wasn't like they got hurt.

I just wanted to talk to ponies and make friends like the Princess wanted. I already knew from my memory that I had several ponies who cared about me, and who I cared about, but it felt like I had never met them before.

Even though I had all these thoughts, memories, feelings, and sensations, it felt like I was experiencing everything for the first time... and maybe I was. Maybe I had gotten a chance to start over somehow.

Maybe I hadn't started out as a nonentity.

It was fully possible that I had always been Twilight Sparkle and had gotten some kind of second chance to experience everything anew—as though my consciousness had been... refreshed somehow.

But if all of this were the case, why did everypony I knew treat me as though I was acting out of the ordinary? If I started out as nothing as I had originally believed, then why would everypony fear me? Why would they fear something that came from nothing? There was literally nothing to fear before I existed as Twilight Sparkle.

...Unless I was actually something before I was Twilight Sparkle.

For some reason, the thought made me shake and my heart pound all over again.