“No no no... this can't be happening!” I cry into my hooves. “I shouldn't be here! I need to be back at the Everfree! That foal is in serious danger!”

I rise to my hooves again, and turn away from the door. Maybe I can get help from ponies in the park; they might not even notice the foal is gone yet! If I run now, there's still a chance to get that foal some help! I can still help!

The large wooden door behind me creaks open, and hooves crunch across the ground behind me. “Soren, you just tried to leave Ponyville, didn't you.”

Turning around, my tear rimmed eyes meet Twilight's own tired eyes. How could she have... No, there's no time for that! “Twilight, quickly, we have to get back to the Everfree!”

Her eyes grow confused as she stares at me. “Why in the Equestria would you want to go in there? Zecora comes—”

I slam my hooves down defiantly and lower my head. “Zecora be damned; there's no time for talk!” Turning away, I begin to trot off to the south, only to be caught up in the lilac unicorn's magical aura. “Put me down, Twilight! A foal is in danger!”

Levitating me back to meet her eyes, she gives me a concerned look. “Settle down! You aren't making any sense. What foal?”

“The one who ran off into the Everfree!” I hiss, tears streaming down my face. “Why don't you believe me?”

Shaking her head, the unicorn lowers me to the ground beside her, but doesn't release her magical grip. “You have to understand, you're under a lot of stress. Combined with your exhibited history of psychotic episodes and the way Lyra's body has been fighting the self-preservation node, the possibility of you hallucinating again is not out of the question.”

I look at her in horror. She doesn't believe me because of that freakout in the subspace highway? Is that really enough for her to doubt me? This isn't anything like the Twilight from the show. The Twilight I know trusts ponies and thinks things through! Are the ponies like this very instance Equestria—different from the show in frighteningly subtle ways?

The tears flow freely down my cheeks. All my heart is allowing me to feel is betrayal. First Lyra, and now Twilight. “Heartless bitch!” I want to scream that right now, but the comment dies before ever leaving my throat. From my peripheral vision, I can clearly see a panicked and deflated looking Pinkie Pie trotting up to the library. Oh no... Please tell me it wasn't...

“T-twilight?” she whispers hoarsely, shifting on the spot. Her eyes are darting everywhere, looking for something. “You haven't seen Pound anywhere, have you?”

The lilac mare shakes her head. “No, I haven't.” she responds in a measured tone, hesitantly eyeing me. A pressure exerts itself on my muzzle, and causing my jaw to cramp. “Sorry, Pinkie.”

“We were just playing in the park. Oh, I only turned my attention from him for a moment!” Slumping to the ground, Pinkie covers her head with her hooves. “The Cakes are going to kill me if I don't find him!”

Releasing her magical hold on my body, Twilight seats herself beside the party pony. “It's okay, I'll help you find him. We'll all help you find him.” Stroking her friend's mane reassuringly, Twilight helps Pinkie to her hooves. “Let's go get the others.”

I struggle against the cramped jaw muscle, I open my mouth. “S-search the Everfree.” I grunt through still-clenched teeth. “I saw him there.” Catching a sour look from Twilight, I cringe, knowing that it was probably some sort of lockjaw spell. “I don't care if you're convinced I'm hallucinating because of the stress of losing my mind, Twilight. I know what I saw and I saw that brown-maned brown-eyed pegasus foal with the cream coat, and I tried to catch him right up until he crossed the threshold to the Everfree. Then I got warped back here.”

“Soren, that's enough,” Twilight commands. “Pinkie is distraught, and there's no time to waste.”

“Oh, I agree completely, Twilight,” I snarl, lowering my head and pressing my ears flat against the side of my head. “Just remember it's better to follow all possible leads and be right than to dismiss the obvious ones and in turn ignore the one that will save a life! Then again, it's clear you don't actually trust me anyway, 'cause I'm not actually a pony. But go ahead and ignore me. Ponies seem to have a habit of treating me like a friend and then abusing me later. It would just be another thing to add to the list of terrible things happening to me lately. I'll just wait here.”

I turn back towards the library and storm off through the still open door. Yeah, I've only been blown up, loosing my humanity, losing my mind, and raped. What's the death of a foal on my conscience?

This is fucking bullshit. I should be out there helping search for Pound Cake—hell, I know where he fucking went—but I'm pretty damn sure Twilight cast some kind of hex that binds me to the limits of Ponyville, transporting me back to the library if I so much as cross that boundary. Why would she do that though? I mean, it's clear that she doesn't trust me nearly as much as I thought, but what motivation is there to do this? If they were worried about me getting lost, they could easily have just cast some sort of tracking tag charm or some such thing. It seems like a much easier thing to do. Far more reasonable, too.

So why, then, would she put such a tight leash on me? It would almost certainly have been while I was under from that thing she did to me earlier. What if it wasn't then though? Might she have done it the very instant she brought me here to Equestria? Given that whole thing with the subspace highway certainly disturbed her, it kind of makes sense that she would have done it then—especially if she thinks I'm dangerous.

I groan and rub my eye against my fetlocks before letting my face come to rest on the oak table. It sucks just sitting here not out there helping! So what if they don't trust me? I proved myself by saving Sweetie Belle! Didn't I?

“Here.” Spike's voice draws my attention away from my thoughts. In one of his outstretched claws, he is holding a saucer and a teacup. “You look like you could use it.”

I look at the little dragon appreciatively. If anyone can understand Twilight or ponies in general, it's probably him. “Thanks, Spike, but you didn't have to do that.” Tentatively taking the saucer between my teeth, I lower the drink to the table. “I'll drink it when it's cooler. Feeling a little burnout after everything yesterday.”

He simply nods his purple and green head knowingly. “It's the same way with Twilight when she overexerts herself.” He gives a weak smile. “You're not going to ask me to lift the teacup for you, are you?”

“What? No!” I'm taken aback by his question. Does Twilight honestly use him that way? “About Twilight... You've been with her since you hatched, right? Does she normally treat strangers warily and without trust?”

A confused frown overtakes his smile as he eyes me warily. “What?”

“I get the distinct impression she doesn't trust me. For the life of me I can't tell if she thinks I'm some sort of threat, or if I'm too mentally incompetent at this point to trust.” I lean my chin on one hoof and look at him. “I mean, I end up on her doorstep throwing a fit because of her enchantment bringing me back here while I was trying to stop a foal from running into the Everfree. She seemed almost convinced I was simply having a psychotic episode.”

Spike looks at me with a growing look of unease. “Oh... Oh!” he intones. “Yeah... Twilight is very much the analytical pony. When she has a puzzle to solve, she very much likes to solve them. When a particular puzzle or mystery proves particularly tough—or things simply don't make sense—she either obsesses, like when she tried to understand the Pinkie Sense, or she becomes... frustrated From what I've been able to gather, she finds you—or your kind, rather—fascinating, but when she came back this morning, she was grumbling about what a maddening enigma you were. She said something like 'How can something with a frightening mind like that be so infuriatingly helpless?'

“I'd like to think she's simply being silly old Twilight, and that she'll come around, but she really seems convinced that you're... wrong on some level.” He sighs. “I've never seen her this way about anybody but that changeling impostor at the wedding. Even then it was simply because she knew Cadance. I think you scare her.”

I'm wrong am I? Now what would give her that impression? Was it the subspace corridor, or maybe it was the fact that I'm slowly losing my fucking mind. I'm scary? Boo-hoo hoo!

“I see,” I mumble in monotone. It occurs to me to ask what his thoughts on being born into servitude to Twilight, but I think better of it. The last thing I need is Twilight hunting me down and turning me to stone for turning Spike against her. “Do I seem untrustworthy to you? Do I scare you?”

He locks his gaze with me for a long while. It's almost as though he's reading me on some level, but then again he probably is. “No, you don't seem untrustworthy. You're full of self-doubt, but I don't think you'd ever go out of your way to break someone's trust.” A smile graces his scaly lips. “You don't scare me, either. You might be from another world, but you aren't all that different from ponies. The fact that you're different is actually comforting, if that makes sense.”

I think I understand where he's coming from there. He's the only dragon in a village of many ponies. The only non-ponies he encounters on a regular basis are livestock. Occasionally he might encounter the odd griffon or minotaur, but aside from that he's outside the norm. Having an alien in a pony's body here in town would mean that he's a little less abnormal.

“If only Twilight could see it that way.” A sigh escapes my lips as I lean down to sip at my tea. It's rather fruity in flavor and aroma, not unlike a nice Earl Grey. “She just seemed so against me speaking when Pinkie showed up all deflated, going on about how Pound Cake was missing.”

“It's no wonder she didn't want you to say anything.” Spike crosses his arms and begins shaking his head. “When Pinkie's in one of her depressive states, you have to be careful about what you say. I should know.”

Fuck, I never even thought about that. I was too agitated at the time to even think about what I was saying. I'm not going to feel bad about this though. It's Twilight's fault that was in that agitated state to begin with! Still, I feel sorry for Pinkie Pie, having to have gone through all that she has and then face that.

“Think you could leave me be for a bit?” I whisper, afraid my voice might tremble. “I need some time to wallow in whatever it is ponies wallow in, and I kinda don't have anywhere else to do that right now.”

Footsteps on the stairs jerks me out of a nap. They’re definitely footsteps and not hoofsteps. Is it Spike again? No, probably not. He’s a lot lighter than the source of those footsteps. Lyra then? Probably. I listen as whoever it is makes their way up the stairs. There's the distinct clicking of a raised heel in their step. Yeah, it’s definitely Lyra; Rarity must have given her those sandals.

The footsteps stop when she reaches the top of the stairs. What is she waiting for—an invitation? She probably met up with Twilight and thinks I’m crazy now or something. Then again maybe she feels guilty—and rightfully so—about last night. “Lyra?” I ask, lifting my head. “Is there any word on the search party?”

There’s a sniffle and the shuffling of feet on the wood flooring behind me. Before I can turn to catch sight of my assailant, a pair of arms wrap around my neck, and an almost equine muzzle presses into my mane. A flood of panic and disgust bursts through my mind at the sudden quasi-intimate touch. If it weren’t so important to hear what she might have to say about the search for Pound Cake, I’d probably be biting and kicking until she lets go of me. I still might.

“Oh Soren, it’s horrible!” she whimpers into my mane. “It’s too awful for words.”

“Spit it out, Lyra,” I hiss. “What. Happened?”

The not-quite-mare begins sobbing into my mane. “They found him in a clearing not far from Zecora’s hut. He was turned to stone by a cockatrice!” She nuzzles into my mane once more. “Not far from the clearing, a dead cockatrice was found. It was only freshly killed, but there’s nothing you can do for a cockatrice’s victims if it dies!”

My blood turns to ice. “W-what?”

“There’s nothing anypony can do for him now.”

Struggling against her hold, I begin to sputter and rant. “That’s complete bullshit!” My hoarse shout fills the chamber. “Nothing we can do? We have a magical princess who can turn ponies to stone and send them to the moon, but saving a foal from the cockatrice’s gaze is beyond her power? You’ve gotta be joking.”

Tightening her hold around me, Lyra whispers, “It’s not your fault.”

Biting into her arm, I begin thrashing about until she lets me go. “The fuck it isn’t my fault,” I shout. “I was right there in that park. I followed him ALL THE WAY to the Everfree trying to catch him! If I’d just been able to use some magic, none of this would have happened. If I had just been able to catch him, I could have saved him, just like Sweetie Belle!”

“You can’t save everypony!” a cold voice shouts from the stairs. “Nopony can save everypony! Not even us!”

When Lyra finally releases me, I take up a defensive stance on top of the table. I watch warily as Twilight Sparkle takes measured steps toward me. Her sclera are stained red by tears, but what strikes me is that empty look in her eyes. She looks almost heartless right now.

“Maybe so,” I spit derisively, “but I’ll never know if I could have made a difference now, because you fucking hexed me!”

“It was my decision!” Lyra cries, burying her almost-equine snout in her stubby hands. “I was worried you’d freak out and vanish from Ponyville. I was worried you’d get yourself killed or I’d be eternally lost after the switch back. I asked Twilight to bind you to Ponyville until the end of the final day. She didn’t argue.”

I stare aghast at Lyra before looking back to Twilight. “I would rather have died trying to save somepony than try to save them, only to be whisked away at the last moment.” My venomous glare lands on Twilight. “As far as I’m concerned, the blood is on your hooves, whoever you are.”

If Twilight is hurt by my words, she makes no outward sign of it. “What do you mean ‘whoever I am’? I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s personal protege.” She takes one step forward, fixing me her own heartless glare.

“Bull-fucking-shit you are!” Cringing away, I try to force the tears from my eyes. “The Twilight Sparkle I know wouldn’t be so fucking callous. She wouldn’t treat somepony she worries might be at risk of having psychotic episodes like they can’t be trusted. The real Twilight would understand that treating them this way is highly likely to inspire a psychotic episode!” I rear up and slam my hooves onto the table for emphasis. “She wouldn’t act so damned emotionless either. You’re nothing but an impostor!”

For the first time since she entered the room, I catch some semblance of emotion in those eyes. “Get out,” she orders. “Get the buck out of my library before I remove you!”

“Twilight, Soren wai—”

“With pleasure.” With an annoyed snort, I turn on my hooves and jump down from the table. “This is getting really old anyway.” Breaking into a gallop, I dive through the nearest window. Fuck stairs, fuck Twilight Sparkle, and most of all, fuck Lyra!

Author's Notes:

Re-edited 12 July 2017