Cheerilee wondered if she was running away. Technically she was avoiding, making sure there were several other ponies between her and the threat at all times. She was safe as long as she wasn’t alone.

Though it had been quiet for a little while. Breakfast was wrapping up, and soon they’d be on the move. Then all she had to do was hope everything would be forgotten after Whimsyvale.

Sighing in relief, she allowed herself to look over to where Scootaloo was practicing her flying under Ivan’s watchful eye. While she was by no means a fast flier yet, she was starting to get quite comfortable for the brief periods she could spend in the air. Rainbow Dash had apparently taught her how to properly glide a little before the trip had started, and not having to flap her wings all the time to move allowed her much more time before she had to touch down.

Big Mac and the other two crusaders watched, and the latter would cheer every time Scootaloo tried a trick.

“Lovely to see them having so much fun, isn’t it?” The teacher nodded. Then the blood in her veins froze when she realized just who was talking to her.

Rarity’s smile was as sharp as one of her needles. Cheerilee had seen it first thing in the morning and managing to keep the rabid gossip at bay for this long was a miracle in and of itself.

She supposed it was time to face the music.

“Hello Rarity. Did you sleep well?”

“Certainly darling. Ah, but if it’s not too much trouble, I wanted to make an inquiry of sorts…”

“If you think it’d be too much trouble, I suppose there’s no chance this question would be intrusive at all?” Cheerilee wouldn’t be going down without a fight. Rarity was a sophisticated type. She wouldn’t ask if she thought she’d be invading her privacy… hopefully.

“Certainly not. A common question asked between friends.” Curses.

“I don’t suppose you could ask Ivan?” As a last ditch effort, Cheerilee decided to use misdirection. It would be throwing Ivan to the timberwolves, but the fashionista would probably take hours trying to come up with an approach that the stallion wouldn’t shut down right out of the gates.

“I might, but this is a delicate subject. Never doubt I respect him, but he can be a little… rough.”

“That he can… Fine. I give up. Let’s mare talk.”

Oh Celestia help her, Rarity squealed.

“Right then, so tell me, would you say you-“

“Sorry to interrupt ladies, but Cheerilee, we’re all packed up from breakfast now. Are we going to head out soon?”

“Oh, my, look at the time, it seems our talk will have to wait Rarity. Whimsyvale awaits!” Cheerilee took her chance to escape, leaving her poor savior stallion at the mercy of a no doubt livid Rarity.

--

“…uh… Tough Nails, you alri- whoa!”

“Oh Celestia, it was horrible… she said I ruined everything… she… I can’t… I… don’t…”

“…oh my… what form of sunless monster could have done this to you!?”

“It was…”

“Yes?!”

“…Rarity…”

“Nooooooooooooooo!”

--

“…um… Ivan, why aren’t you weirded out?”

“Been here. Before Ponyville.”

“…were you weirded out the first time?”

“Yes.” Scootaloo let the matter drop as she took in the sights of Whimsyvale. It seemed like a nice place, but…

It was just so… colorful.

She herself was a bright orange, but any orange she saw made her look grey.

And the entire town was covered in color. Everything on the spectrum. It was like a sonic rainboom all the time.

Of course, that was nothing compared to the local flavor.

“Forsooth! What do mine eyes see but a group of new faces! I cry welcome to our humble town!”

“…nothing humble about it…” Scootaloo muttered.

“Ah… yes, thank you. I wonder if you might point us toward the theatre?” Cheerilee asked, sporting a shaky smile and trying not to back away from the most flamboyant thing since… she couldn’t even think up a good comparison they were left so far in the dust.

The pony was dressed like a jester. With the most colorful costume any of the group had ever seen.

“There are no less then thirty-seven theatres in our fair Whimsyvale!” The jester declared proudly.

“…I believe it was called the, er… the Twinhorned Stage?”

“Just down yon road gentle lady. I do hope I’ve been of service!”

“You have, thank you. Good day.” All but one of them attempted to leave in a hurry.

On one hoof, Scootaloo was quite sure she was scarred for life. On another even worse hoof, Rarity appeared to now be asking him how in Equestria’s name he had managed to combine the colours he was wearing without having any of them clash.

…meaning that this would be following them back to Ponyville. Or anywhere Rarity sold dresses.

Whimsyvale had infected the rest of the world at that very moment.

“Will be alright.” Ivan whispered as she shivered.

She hoped so. Ivan couldn’t protect her from clothes without serving jail time.

At least he was a comforting presence. His hat and coat were the least colorful things in probably a few miles radius.

“Hey, Ivan, can I have a ride?” The stallion nodded and made to stoop down for her before she simply flitted up and perched herself on his back.

“Forgot I could do that?” She asked smugly as she made herself comfortable.

“Mm.”

As Ivan started walking again, she caught sight of Diamond Tiara looking her way and grinding her teeth for some reason.

…while Scootaloo had no idea what she’d done to put her in that state, she definitely wasn’t complaining. And while the surrounding area was burning her eyes a little, it was certainly interesting to see.

Throw in how good she was getting at flying, and today was turning out much better then even she expected.

They were even going to be exploring a bunch of caves later! Dare she say…

Today was going to be the best day ever.

--

“Hellooooo everypony! My name is Flabbergast!” Exclaimed a white unicorn, spreading his forelegs like some form of show star. His cutie mark was a laughing black mask.

“And I’m Lambaste, the only reason this place exists.” A black unicorn deadpanned, spreading his forelegs in much the same manner. His cutie mark was a crying white mask.

“And we’re the storyteller twi- Lambaste, why must you not co-operate? We rehearsed this!” Flabbergast paused in what was undeniably going to be something dangerous to berate his brother.

“You rehearsed this. You rehearsed this for weeks, despite the fact that we do it every bloody time that somepony comes through those doors, and every time we did I say I’m not doing it and you act surprised when I don’t. I’ve known you for your entire life, so why, oh why, don’t you take me seriously when I tell you something?”

“But the pose just isn’t the same without you!”

“You wouldn’t know. I’ve never done it.”

“You would like it if you tried!”

“I can’t support your weight without magic. And you told me that using magic would take away from the magic. Moreover, you can’t do a triple flip. You’d die if I let you try.”

“But Lambaaaaaaste, they came all this way from…” Flabbergast paused in his antics to look expectantly at the crowd of colts and fillies, and was answered with a resounding ‘Ponyville!’

“From Ponyville! That’s like, one whole half of two days away!”

“Oh come on, that’s not far at all. You think the bakery a block down the street is ten miles away.”

“You’re such a downer Lambaste!”

“Incorrect. I’m the only sane pony in this whole town.”

“What do I pay you for?!”

“We’re partners. You don’t pay me. Although if I had to guess, it would be because I help you tell stories. You know, those things that are the reason ponies even come to see us in the first place?” Lambaste turned to the crowd.

“I’m sure they’ve waited long enough. Can we show them we’re money well spent before they get tired of your posturing?”

“But we’re doing this for charity!”

“Maybe you are, but I like to eat sometimes. At that bakery that’s ten miles away occasionally.”

“Now who’s posturi- …oh my, do my eyes deceive me?” Flabbergast did a double take at the audience and rubbed his eyes in an exaggerated gesture, before looking again straight at one pony in particular.

“…it is! Lambaste, our friend Ivan has returned!”

“He wasn’t our friend. We paid him to manage the stage, and to help prevent you from burning the building down. It was business. Also he was sane and I liked that. If he was friends with you I wouldn’t have liked him.” Lambaste paused, before turning and nodding at the green stallion.

“Hello Ivan.”

“Lambaste.” Ivan replied, nodding back.

“What brings you to this neck of the woods?”

“Escorting friend.”

“Oooooh? And who would this be?” Flabbergast leaned in, as if about to learn a juicy secret. Ivan looked to Scootaloo and before the orange pegasus knew it, all the attention was suddenly on her.

“Ah, what an adorable friend you’ve made Ivan! What’s your name?”

“Erm… Scootaloo.”

“Well any friend of Ivan’s deserves the best! Now without any further ado, let’s get this show started! Eyegor!”

An earth pony with an extremely large set of eyes stuck his head out from the curtains.

“Yesssss master?”

“Hit the lights!”

“At once master!” And with a heave of effort, the stage hand threw a large rock into the rafters.

The lights went out, but it was unlikely they’d come back on.

“You hired him.” Lambaste said, totally invisible in the dark.

“But he seemed so promising!”

“He brought in muffins an- no. No we’re not doing this now. We’re on the job.”

“Quite right dear brother.” A deep violet glow from both horns lit up from either side of the stage, and the space of the stage seemed to shift.

“We’ll tell you a story today, colts and fillies.” Lambaste stated.

“Or fillies and colts, whichever you prefer.” Flabbergast offered, in a way that made his smile audible to the audience.

“Does it matter?” Lambaste asked.

“Not in the slightest. Now what should we tell them? Valkyrie, the first mare to tame the wind?” The stage warped and Scootaloo gasped as she was now looking into the open sky. An ethereal image of clouds being tossed around and a shadowy figure frolicking with a playful breeze.

“Seth, the soul of the harsh and lethal desert?” The scene shifted again to rolling hills of sand, a scorching unforgiving sun, a cold and silent moon, and fierce sandstorms.

“Oh, I know what we should tell them.”

“I suppose we agree once in a while.” And the scene burst into all consuming flames.

“Prometheus, The Conflagration.” Flabbergast stated, in a tone that had none of the nonsense from before. A tone that implied the utmost respect, as if he were speaking of the princesses themselves.

“His origins were unclear, but all who met him knew that he was gifted.” Lambaste continued, as the scene showed a field of grass and a large black earth pony with red and orange flames painted up his hind legs and halfway across his barrel. Soft music began playing to compliment the tale.

It took a moment before Scootaloo realised that the flames were his cutie mark.

“Every now and again, a pony is born with something different about them. Prometheus was one of these. A pony with all the fury of the angry violent earth.” The black stallion stomped his mighty hooves, and the scene went black as he was surrounded by fire.

“He was gifted by nature herself. One who had the power to burn the world to ashes. Prometheus quickly became arrogant, burning all he saw that didn’t please him.” The flames died to reveal a barren wasteland. And the stallion kept walking as if nothing had happened.

“He demanded tribute from every settlement he passed. Crops. Money. Possessions. Refusal was met with fire. Never to the pony who slighted him, only to the things that weren’t given freely.” He walked through a crippled village, razed crops and ruined houses, not heeding the cries of the ponies he left in poverty.

“Eventually he happened on Castle Canterlot, and he saw a home worthy of his majesty. And so he journeyed to make it his, uncaring of the pony who resided there.”

“The gates were closed to him. The castle’s master was having breakfast, and court would not be for a few hours. Prometheus smashed the gates with his mighty hooves and walked on.” The grand wood and iron of the gates splintered and shattered under the force of a single blow, and Prometheus entered the castle demanding to speak to it’s master.”

Light spilled out of an open doorway when his voice was answered.

“It was the first time Prometheus had met a pony taller then he.” Scootaloo heard as she watched the villain stare down the princess of the sun.

“Our fair Celestia requested to know what matter was so urgent that her gates needed to be bashed in. Her doorman was reasonable she said. The matter would’ve been brought to her attention if it was dire.” The music reached a crescendo as Prometheus took the first attack, throwing the alicorn through a wall.

“All Prometheus saw was a pony who thought she was the mightier presence, which was an insult in and of itself. He struck Princess Celestia a blow that would’ve broken the body of a lesser pony. And before she could retaliate, Prometheus brought down the castle around them.”

Shields of light protected the castle guards and servants, as Celestia herself stood up from the rubble of her home.

“She bade her subjects to run to safety as she defended her people and country. And she leapt into battle, prepared to destroy the threat that would trespass against all she loved.”

Scootaloo had seen princess Celestia before, once or twice. She visited Ponyville on occasion after all.

Every time, the pegasus would be amazed at her beauty, grace, and occasionally, her magical power whenever she felt like showing it.

Even if it was a conjured image, it was the first time Scootaloo had considered the princess of the sun as somebody formidable. Before this, she couldn’t even imagine her in a fight. The idea of a pony raising their hoof to her in aggression seemed impossible.

Whether this story was true or not, she would be imagining her sovereign in battle for quite some time.

And as the flames of the earth battled the light of the sun, she wondered how it was possible for anypony who wasn’t an alicorn to even be this strong. Supposedly he was born gifted.

…she wondered if a gift like this was where alicorns came from in the first place.

“Though Prometheus was strong, his power could not outshine the sun. And as his body lay prone before Princess Celestia, she asked him; ‘How many of my countryponies have you harmed?’”

“His answer surprised her. ‘Not once would I kill one of the earth’s children with her flames. You are the first to feel them.’”

“She told him ‘You have yielded to me. You will obey.’, and he agreed. And thus she ordered him. ‘You will walk Equestria to every place you have burned. And you will make amends until you are forgiven by every last one of my countryponies that you have wronged.’ And left with no alternative, Prometheus agreed. ‘When you have done so, you will return to me and tell me what you have learned.’ And she sent him out again, knowing he would not discard her words.”

“He wandered again, submitting himself to the whims of those he owed their dues. And so his lessons began.”

“As he worked to till the fields, and replace the crops he had taken, he learned honesty. The values of a living sustained by hard work, blood, sweat, and tears.”

“As he played with the children who had refused to serve him, he learned laughter. The joys of enjoying all that life has to offer.”

“As he endured the assaults of those whose loved ones he had threatened, he learned loyalty. The motivation that drives heroes to defend that which they love from those who would bring it harm, no matter the threat it presents.”

“As he rebuilt the homes of the ponies he had demanded tribute from, he learned kindness. A warm home, and the family within that shared their lives with each other.”

“As he sewed clothes for those who would freeze, and served the elderly in tasks that they were no longer capable of, he learned generosity. Giving to those in need, and receiving naught but gratitude and happy satisfaction in return.”

“And he approached the lone cottage where he had started his march, long since rebuilt from his foolish actions. His lessons thus far weighed heavily on his shoulders, and he bowed his head to the family and begged forgiveness. And with no compensation needed, he received it. The family smiled, and invited him to their table. They asked to hear the stories of his travels, and treated him with respect and dignity. At that moment, he learned true friendship.”

“When he finally returned to Princess Celestia, the castle had been rebuilt to be even more radiant then before. At the sight of him, the gates opened, and the princess received him in her court where he told her everything he had experienced. And so he apologised for the last of his transgressions, and asked what she wanted of him next.”

“’What do you want to do now?’ Celestia had asked. And Prometheus answered. ‘I want to continue to learn.’”

“’And so you shall.’ She replied. Prometheus was given a bracer of iron and leather, engraved with the mark of Princess Celestia’s honour guard. And he was told to wander the land and right the wrongs he found. To use the mother earth’s flames to help her children.”

“Prometheus wanders Equestria to this day, serving our princess in protecting the land as penance for his sins. Others witnessed his exploits, and made bracers exactly like his, pledging themselves to preserve justice and law. They would eventually be known as warders, those who protect the world from that which would harm it.”

A pair of red curtains closed over the scene, with a large set of letters saying ‘THE END’ appearing. And the images faded as the music ended. The audience broke into applause.

…though the lights didn’t come on.

“…Ah, Ivan, don’t suppose you could help us out here?” Flabbergast asked when the hoofbeats stopped.

Scootaloo heard Ivan sigh next to her, before his hat fell onto her head.

His horn glowed, and flames appeared on the end, casting light throughout the room.

“Ah, much better. I say, Lambaste, what do you say to getting some torches set up? It’d save on electricity, and you can’t argue that the ambience is something special.”

“…I might just look into that…” The black unicorn mused, examining the way Ivan’s flames cast shadows over the theatre. “Something like this would be good for when we break out the scary stories.”

“You’ve got scary stories?” Applebloom asked. Flabbergast grinned.

“Well of course we do! Would you like to hear one?” The foals roared their affirmative, and the twins exchanged glances.

“Well we would acquiesce, but…”

“We just told a story and we’re tired. We will be for a little while yet.” Lambaste finished. The foals groaned.

“Well wait a moment dear brother, what if we took a break while somepony else told them a story?”

“Like who?”

“Well, we have in our midst a wanderer like Prometheus himself! Though perhaps not as powerful. Or so conceited as to take a swing at the heavenly empress.” Flabbergast nodded to Ivan, who was now the center of attention.

“How about it? I’ll give you a muffin? I’ve always wanted to hear something from you, but you were always so tight-lipped about anything that wasn’t work…” Ivan sighed again as he heard the foals start begging him to agree. A small pair of hooves pressed against his foreleg and he looked down to see Scootaloo giving him the best pair of puppy dog eyes he had seen yet.

“Please?”

Ivan put a hoof to his chin, making a show of thinking it over.

“Muffin… what kind?”

“Blueberry!” Ivan shook his head.

“Double chocolate.” Flabbergast hissed through his teeth.

“You drive a hard bargain…”

“Oh just give it to him. Be thankful he doesn’t want a cut of our pay.” Lambaste said and Flabbergast hung his head.

“Oh fine…” Ivan nodded, and took his hat back as he walked to the stage. The brothers took seats in the audience, Flabbergast on the edge of his seat. He looked like Hearth’s Warming had come early.

When Ivan stood on the stage, he thought about what story would be scary enough for the foals. He decided on one his father used to scare him with when he was young.

“Pale Scythe, The Reaper.” He announced, as the fire dimmed, making him barely visible on the stage with his black clothes. Whispy green shapes, improvised versions of his projection skill, danced and took form as he began.

“As old as death, with a name for every pony who fears it.” A skeletal figure, somehow seeming to belong to none of the three tribes, jumped from hiding place to hiding place, from shadow to tree to roof.

Ivan couldn’t make music with his magic, but the atmosphere seemed to make up for it.

“It watches, never resting. There is no escaping.” A unicorn stumbled, and the reaper’s scythe whipped out of nowhere to harvest. The pony was no more.

“A gifted can starve. A princess can wound. Pale Scythe waits and watches. Patient as a shadow. Irresistible as smoke. Unbreakable as water. It’s ally is time. It’s weapon, the inevitable. It does not give sickness or twist fate, merely takes the opportunity as it comes.”

“On occasion, a pony will thwart it. Escape their fate momentarily, and are rewarded with a glimpse of it, and their screaming eyes reflected on the scythe poised above them. This rare occurrence is the only reason we know it exists.” A pegasus walked, terrified, looking over his shoulder as the reaper followed.

“It is ‘it’, because gender has no sway in death. It is named because we named it. Nopony knows anything of it. Whether it has a true name, or a history. Nopony survived long enough to find out.”

“It watches us even now.” Ivan whispered, and everypony heard. Suddenly, the floating fire exploded into a roaring blaze, and chilling laughter filled the room. A pony’s shadow and a spinning scythe appeared and swooped down toward the audience.

Everypony screamed. The foals fled, tripping over themselves to get out of the room.

And as the light faded to the level it had been before Ivan started the story, he ignored the shocked gazes of those left in the audience, and turned to the stunned twin unicorns.

“Muffin.”

--

Ivan stepped out of the theater followed by Cheerilee and the rest of the adults munching idly on one of a pair of chocolate muffins. Flabbergast had been so impressed he had given him two. Had he more, he would’ve given the rest, he claimed.

“That was so cool!” Scootaloo squealed as she pranced over. Ivan smirked. The second muffin floating behind him split itself in half, and presented itself to the pegasus.

“Thanks!” She said, digging into it. The second half was offered to Cheerilee, who took it gladly.

“So why don’t you talk at length all the time?” She asked. “You did it just fine a second ago.”

“Storytelling. Different.”

“So I see… where did you hear that one?”

“Dad.”

“I bet you tell it better.”

Ivan lifted his hat. “Cheated.” He said as his horn twinkled.

“Can’t argue with the results though. You know I should be mad at you.”

“Oh?”

“Half of them might have nightmares for weeks.”

“Bribed.” Ivan reminded as Cheerilee popped the last portion of muffin into her mouth.

“Yes, yes, I know. I said ‘should’, didn’t I?”

“What now?” Ivan asked, lowering his brim to protect his eyes. They stepped out of the theatre, and the brightness of the sun forced everypony without the proper headgear to squint.

“Well, I’d say we’re through with the storytelling. It was supposed to last about this long anyway. We’ll head to the caves now.” She turned back to the assembled ponies, half of them making sure their foals weren’t traumatised.

“Who’s ready for some cave exploring?” The children shouted their approval, fear forgotten. Cheerilee smiled.

“Shall we then?”

--

The catacombs weren’t far from the town, and before long the entrance loomed over them. Tiara studied the map posted out front, and noted that they stretched for quite a distance.

“Daddy, could me and Silver Spoon go off on our own?” She asked, looking up at Filthy Rich.

“Of course, just don’t go too far…” He answered, before turning back to Silver’s father. Tiara forgot his name.

“Think there’s anything cool in there?” Silver asked as they approached the cave’s mouth. Everypony was pretty much allowed to do whatever they wanted provided they stayed in the roped area. Getting lost would be difficult since they were told maps were posted all over the place.

“It’s a tourist attraction, there’s probably nothing. I just want a quiet place to plan.”

“Plan what?”

“Revenge.”

“…wait, you’re still mad?” Silver asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You were there! She brushed me off like I was nothing!”

“Look, we’ve been calling her the same thing for… pretty much as long as we’ve had our marks and she hasn’t. Which is a while. Maybe it’s just gotten old?”

“Probably yeah, but she still needs to learn her place.”

“So, what, you’re going to plan some elaborate prank to humiliate her in front of everypony?”

“Especially that stallion in the hat.”

“…Alright, I’m with you. Just… calm down, alright? I’m all for pranking that idiot, but you need to calm down.”

“How can I calm down when she’s been flaunting that awesome new stallion like she owns him, acting like-“

“Actually…” Silver Spoon mused as they entered the caves. “Do you remember all those stories about a pony who’s been pulling them out of trouble over and over again?”

“Great, he’s a hero too. One more reason why that blank flank doesn’t deserve him.”

“Well, what are we gonna do about it?”

“…Alright, I’ve got an idea. We’ll need a bag of feathers, some glue…”

“Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about this where the adults can hear us.”

“…yeah, you’re right. Come on.” Tiara lifted one of the ropes barring a side path.

“You sure we should be doing that?”

“Nopony’s watching, and we won’t go far. Just far enough to get the plan ready.”

“…alright.”

--

The spelunking tour ended up being uneventful, though the foals enjoyed themselves, with a few mineral displays and animal habitat factoids being the only real things of interest.

They walked out a few hours later, and Cheerilee took a head count. And on a sudden burst of paranoia, Ivan checked on Applebloom and Sweetie Belle to make sure they were there.

They were. And Scootaloo was still on his back.

He sighed obvious relief. Nothing went wrong.

“…Tiara?” A stallion called, and Ivan seized up.

“Silver, where are you?”

“No. Please.” Ivan muttered, wishing with everything he had that the foals in question would just speak up, and they could eat and start home and everything would be good. Good and not him going back into the caves to find a pair of lost foals.

“…Can’t find them.”

“Probably still inside.”

“Go talk to the staff.”

It was a good thing there was nothing solid nearby. Ivan had the sudden urge to smash his head against something until he no longer minded that his overactive conscience was urging him to run back in there and get two possibly lost and scared foals back to safety.

“It’s alright.” Cheerilee said, trotting up. “They’re probably prepared for something like this.” Yes, they probably were.

“So who’s going in after ‘em?” one of the staff asked. “I’m part time. I don’t know which way is up in there.”

“Huh, me too.”

“Hey, where’s the supervisor?”

“…I think he went back into town. Something about being ‘in desperate need of ale and wenches’.”

“Well the drink I can understand, but why would he want wrenches?”

“Well… um…” the schoolteacher floundered. And for her sake, Ivan didn’t expand the vocabulary of every foal in the vicinity.

“…Going.” He said, cursing Brony’s Law with everything he had.

“…I’ll go too. A pair of fillies breaking the rules is my responsibility first.”

“I don’t suppose there’s room for one more in this little search party?” They turned to see Rarity approaching.

“…I suppose. Sweetie’s here, though, so why are you concerned?” Cheerilee asked.

“Since she’s here, I can use my dousing spell to help us find our way out. Wouldn’t do for us to get lost once we find the little troublemakers, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Fair enough. Let’s see if we can at least get a map from the-“

“Right here.” Said a stallion Ivan only recognized in passing. One of the group. He passed Cheerilee a folded piece of paper.

“Ah, Filthy, I guess you’ll be coming for Tiara.”

“Certainly. I’m sure Silver’s father would too but… he doesn’t handle anxiety well.” The stallion pointed a hoof at another pony off to the side curled up in the fetal position and nursing an inhaler like he was in a desert and the little device had the only water in the world in it.

“…Alright then. Um… hey!” Cheerilee shouted at the squabbling teenagers.

“We are trying-“

“Yeah, I just wanted to know if there’s anything we should be on the look out for in there.”

“Wait, you’re going in there? Score! No responsibilities!”

“Yeah, nothing to worry about in there! You’ve got a map, you’ll be fine!”

“So, lunch break?”

“We had lunch.”

“We haven’t had second lunch. Ale and wenches!” The part timers nodded in agreement and galloped off into the nearby town.

“…Ivan?”

“Mm?”

“If they don’t get fired for this, would you please blow them up?”

“Sure.” The unicorn replied, wondering how long this violent streak of hers would last. He found he rather liked this side of her.

And so the rescue party entered the cave as Cheerilee growled under her breath about sunless idiots abandoning foals in need.

--

Checking the allowed tunnels yielded nothing, so the search party lifted a rope and, lighted by a floating flame, trekked into the darkness.

“So, you’re Ivan?” Filthy Rich spoke up after a while of silence.

“Yes.”

“Huh. From the stories I heard, I half expected you to breathe that fire.”

“Oh?”

“A lot of ponies are talking about you. Those fillies pretty much tell anypony they can. I’m guessing it’s… exaggerated?”

“Mm.” Filthy chuckled.

“Heard you helped out the Apple family a little while back. Any friend of the Apple family is a friend of mine.”

Again, Ivan had to do the projection thing to shake a pony’s hoof.

“Filthy Rich.”

“Ivan Hooves.”

“Now that introductions are out of the way, I don’t suppose either of you have a spell to better find my daughter?”

“Just because we’re unicorns, doesn’t mean we can do everything with them.” Rarity said, lighting up her own horn like a flashlight.

“Fair enough. You know, no offense, but I more expected this out of…”

“Me too.” Rarity replied. “In fact, that’s half the reason Ivan’s here.”

“Huh. Official caretaker?”

“No paycheque.” Ivan grumbled. The others laughed.

“Let’s have a look at that map.” Rarity said. “I’d like to know how big these caves are. Cheerilee, you remember which turns we took, yes?”

“I do… we should be right aroun-“

“Daaaaaaaaddy!”

“Heeellllllp!”

“…Found them.” Ivan deadpanned, as the sound of clopping hooves drawing closer.

“Daaaaaaddy there’s a monster!”

“Huh. Wonder what it was that they saw?”

“Knowing them, we’ll have to find it and light it up before they stop insisting that they-… what’s that noise?” Filthy said, straining his eyes to see in the darkness.

A pair of scared fillies darted out of the darkness and hid behind the assorted adults. Then something else slunk out of the shadows.

The light didn’t reveal much. It was black, it’s eyes were bright red, and it grinned, revealing huge fangs. The rest of it was hard to make out.

“…Ivan.” Cheerilee said.

“What?”

“…is that a cave monster?”

“…Brony’s Law…” Ivan growled, stepping forward, flames going out as his horn glinted threateningly at the creature.

Hopefully the fact that they were in a large group would make it leav-

The creature lunged, and a green hammer materialised out of nothing and ‘redirected’ it into a wall.

It hissed, righting itself. Ivan didn’t hear footfalls as it got up, and he wondered if it had legs at all.

“Rarity! Light!” He yelled, and the unicorn complied, illuminating the passage.

The creature’s grin widened for reasons Ivan really didn’t want to know. At the least, he could see it clearly now.

Scales covered the entire body, or at least that which wasn’t hidden by the clothes it wore. It’s entire lower body was a tail, and there was a cobra hood around it’s head.

It had arms, and hands. Hands that were outstretched at it lunged again.

The hammer returned, aiming overhead, but the creature twisted out of the way.

A hand closed around his throat, and another around his good foreleg. And Ivan discovered how strong the creature was when it flung him hard into another wall.

Ivan landed painfully, but just managed to roll out of the way before the tail crushed him. And instincts he didn’t know he had took over as he did the one thing he wouldn’t do under any right mindset.

Threw his horn down and charged.

--

It was the first time Cheerilee had ever seen Ivan in any sort of dangerous situation. She had heard about the cockatrice, the diamond dogs, the death traps, but she had assumed every time that whatever she heard wasn’t altogether true.

Ivan seemed capable enough, she admitted, but he had a broken leg. There wasn’t much chance he could hero the way the crusaders said with a hindrance like that.

At least that’s what she thought before Ivan dodged out of the way of the creature’s tail, darted forward, and whipped his horn up. A green shape moving too fast to accurately make out landed a crushing blow into the side of the monster’s head and toppled it over.

Ivan was literally locked in mortal combat with something out of her worst nightmares, and was holding his own. Broken leg and all.

“Rarity, can you help him at all?” the teacher asked, not taking her eyes off of the fight.

“I’d like to, but I can’t cast two spells at once. And I’m quite sure that thing can see in the dark.”

“…Then we sh-“

“Dear, excuse me for saying so, but I don’t think either you or Filthy here would be of much help.”

“Well that’s tru-“

“And we need to be here in case we need to protect the foals.”

“…how in Equestria are you so calm?”

“Slow breathing, dear. Getting riled up would make it harder to maintain the light Ivan needs.”

“…what do I do?”

“Wait.” Filthy said. “We can’t find our way back without Rarity, and taking her light with us is leaving Ivan for dead.”

“But… Ivan can keep a flame lit an-“

“I don’t think he could do that while in a fight.” Filthy said as Ivan flew backwards into a stalagmite, shattering through it.

“…I feel helpless.”

“You’re not the only one dear. Breathe. Stay calm.”

--

Ivan dodged the tail again, cursing that he couldn’t make the thing explode. Given the stalactites he saw hanging, causing any tremors would possibly kill them all.

So explosions were out. …wait.

An axe appeared above the monster’s head, slicing through rock and sending a stalactite falling towards his enemy’s head.

He barely reacted in time for when the monster caught it and hurled it at him. A spectral halberd spun out of nothing and cut it in half as he rushed the beast.

A shield, not a wall like the others, but an actual shield he could float and manoeuvre appeared and batted aside a grasping hand as he thrust with the halberd.

Before he knew it, they were going back and forth in the middle of the passage, throwing an attack, blocking, rallying like they were playing an extremely deadly game of tennis.

Ivan marveled at how naturally this came to him. He had been in fights before, but they were different. Minor scraps with idiots who had something to prove, and decided the quiet pony in the corner was an easy mark.

But here he was fighting to the death with something (he didn’t even know what it was, only that it was probably strong enough to rip him in half if he failed to block) and it came to him as naturally as breathing.

It felt like something he was born to-

Ivan moved as if he had four hooves instead of three and faltered. That single second was all it took for the tail to coil around his body and throat, squeezing painfully.

He was dead.

“You’re dead!”

Wait, what?

“I killed you!”

“…um-“

“See, the way I’m wrapped around you, I can crush your body or snap your neck! So I win!”

“…you… win?” Cheerilee asked.

“So we’re friends now, right? Defeat means friendship!”

“…I think…” Filthy said slowly. “…that we’re missing something here.”

--

“Alright, so I’m going to go over this again.” Cheerilee said.

“Sure!” The monster replied.

“So you live in these caves, scouting them and making maps for the ponies who run the attraction.”

“Yup!”

“When you lunged at Ivan, you were trying to hug him…”

“I like meeting new friends!”

“Aaaand when he bludgeoned you in the side of the head, you took it as a challenge…”

“Fighting is my favorite thing!”

“…and ended up fighting to the death.”

“I killed him! You all saw it!”

“She did.” Ivan said.

“You’re not helping.” Cheerilee replied.

“The little ones screamed and ran away! I wanted to make sure they didn’t run into a wall, or fall into a hole.” The monster said. “I’m like, the only one who can see in the dark around here. I’m kinda surprised they didn’t.” She leaned down towards the fillies who obviously didn’t know what the hay to think.

“Don’t play tag in the dark.” She scolded. Tiara and Silver nodded dumbly.

“Now that that’s out of the way… my name is Memry!” She said, thrusting out a hand to Ivan. “You fight good!”

“…Ivan.” He replied, shaking her hand with the magic hoof. “You too.”

“We should do it again sometime!”

“…sure.” Ivan said. And he meant it. That brawl, in retrospect, was the most exhilarating thing he had experienced in quite some time. Could be fun if he knew he wasn’t fighting for his life.

Maybe he could get a house halfway between Ponyville and Whimsyvale, and-

…and he had put that issue off for long enough. He was going to give it thought later.

“…so… now that we know you’re not some crazy beast out to kill us, we can go, right?” Cheerilee said.

“Sure! Exit’s this way!” And Memry slithered off.

“…I guess we follow her?” Rarity suggested. Everypony else shrugged, and did so.

--

“So, if I have this right…” The pony in charge said. By massive coincidence, he also happened to be the same pony who had given them directions to the theatre earlier that day. “Mine coworkers abandoned you in your hour of need, left two fillies lost in the caves, and didn’t tell you we employed a terrifying lamia you could meet up with and end up mistaking for a threat to your lives?”

“All in all, yes. That about sums it up.” Cheerilee said, grinding her teeth at the thought of those jerks.

“Unacceptable! I shake mine hoof in righteous aaaaaangeeeeerrrrrr!” He did, for a few moments. Either he didn’t notice everypony staring, or he didn’t care.

“…so they’re totally fired, right?” Cheerilee asked hopefully.

“Indeed.”

“Oh good.” She said as Ivan huffed in disappointment. She wondered if he would’ve actually blown them up if she asked.

“Mine most humble apologies for the state of affairs.”

“It’s alright. It all turned out in the end, and nopony got hurt.” Ivan coughed. “…well nopony got hurt too badly.”

“Then I must away! Firings are afoot! Farewell!” He galloped full tilt back into town. Cheerilee sighed in relief, and turned back.

“Are we leaving now?” Asked the lamia.

“…We are. I don’t know about you.” Cheerilee replied. Memry was busy letting foals climb all over her. In the light of the day, she looked far different from the vicious monster they encountered in the cave.

Her body was covered in black scales, and she wore a black robe with blue and green designs on it in a style that nopony had ever seen before. Without the toothy grin she wore when she was fighting Ivan, the lamia (note to self, Cheerilee thought, visit library and find out what the hay a lamia is) looked almost tame. Friendly even.

“I’m coming too!”

“…why.”

“Days off! And Ivan promised a rematch!”

“I did.” Ivan said.

“…you… want to fight her again?” the teacher asked in disbelief. Ivan shrugged.

“Fun.”

“…I… whatever. Are we all packed up?” Affirmative murmurs went through the assembled crowd. “Great. Let’s move out.”

--

Soon they had stopped for dinner and sleep a fair distance from Ponyville.

Memry turned out to be somewhat ditzy (she’d probably get along well with Ditzy, now that she thought about it), but watching her chat with Rarity about her robe, which she apparently made herself, she could almost forget the fight altogether.

…on that note, where had Ivan gone?

She eventually found him a ways off, watching the sun set.

“What are you thinking about?” She asked as she approached.

“Stuff.” He replied quietly.

“Like?”

Ivan replied by lifting the tail end of his coat. A crossed sword and wand was branded on his flank.

“…during fight.” He replied. “Talent.”

“…so your talent is violence?” She asked. Ivan shook his head.

“Violence, impartial. Battles, chosen.”

“And that means?”

“Got protecting them. And you.” He paused as Cheerilee’s chest tightened. And then he removed his hat. Before she could reply, he spoke again.

“Want to stay.”

“…really?” He nodded, eyes locked on hers. He wasn’t lying.

“Ponyville…is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” He said.

“It must be, if you’re saying it with more then two words.” She said, inching closer to press her side against his.

“Serious.”

“I know.” She said as she leaned into him. “So you got your cutie mark protecting me?”

“Not just you.”

“Shh, don’t ruin the fantasy.” She said, giggling. “Not only that, but going by what Memry said, you sort of died for it.”

“I-“

“Shh.” She shushed again. “…do you have your pen on you?” Ivan nodded, looking over to his bags, sitting nearby.

“Well, get it out. I’m the only one who hasn’t signed this it feels like.” The pen floated over, and some awkward positioning later (since there was barely any room left on it) Cheerilee gave the pen back and settled back against him.

She sighed in contentment as he tentatively put a hoof around her withers. And she giggled again.

“I just realized we’re watching the sun set. I don’t think this could be any more romantic if we tried.”
Ivan hmm’d idly, and drew her a little closer.

Thankfully, since Rarity was otherwise occupied with Memry, they went undisturbed.

--

I love you.

-Cheerilee