Prologue

The scent of rot permeates his van. He once again needs to dispose of bodies stored in the back overlong, but the Hobgoblins said last time they have enough for the next three seasons. As he has yet to meet anything else this side of the Hedge that would be interested in them, he will have to wait.

Unlike the seasons of his home, their passing in this world require lengths of time that differ by location. Not all seasons are represented everywhere and some areas even have extra seasons. He is still attempting to make sense of their Contracts.

A ding to warn him of low fuel interrupts his thoughts. He can ponder why some places get snow and others do not later later. For now, he looks for the nearest petrol station. He once attempted to persuade his van that it can function without fuel only to learn it has a pre-existing, seemingly unbreakable Contract with petroleum after it stopped functioning and refused to start again despite every Contract he offered it. Ever since then, he has been better about watching the gauge.

His travels see him currently passing through a small city, and a station is near. He stops before the pump and enters the store to pay. As with all human buildings, he must stoop to pass through the door. Clutched in his hand is what they call 'money'. The human agreement with these leaf-like bills is another of this world's Contracts he does not understand. He has attempted to offer stories from his collection as payment, but the humans always demand money instead. At least he has since discovered how easy money is to acquire from the remains of those who tell him worthless stories.

The station attendant is focused on a magazine full of images of unclothed humans. It spares barely a glance at its customer as it accepts the payment and activates the fuel pump. He surveys this human and considers asking it for a story, but its daydreams are fixated on the ritual of human breeding to the exclusion of all else. He instead accepts his change and returns to the pump.

As he is again helping his van to satisfy its bewildering Contract, two humans walk past the station. One, its flat expression matching its drab exterior, is perhaps the most humdrum example of a human he has yet seen. The other one draws his interest: It bears the marks of a Tenure it must have fled to return to this world. A Masque hides its undefined, malleable appearance from humans, but he can see clearly the work of The Faceless to convert the former human into a Mirrorskin.

Their fellow humans pass by and ignore them as they tend to do with others of their kind they do not know. When they come to the crosswalk, the grey one taps the heel of its foot thrice against the corner of the sidewalk and then holds a small mirror over its shoulder as it crosses the middle of the street.

Few humans know the means to turn away the attentions of Lurker in the Deep and The Faceless. Escaped servants rarely teach their still-human companions Arcadian secrets. Even he knows how fragile human minds are; reveal Fae matters to them as anything more than a story and they often end up painting walls in their own piss, shite, and blood. He re-evaluates the boring human in the light of its actions. If it knows those two signs, rituals he has not seen any other human perform in all the time he has spent in this world, then perhaps it knows a new story.

He uses his van to follow them until they reach an entrance to the Hedge masquerading as an alleyway. They attempt to enter it, but at least one of his ancient Contracts is still in force in this world. He calls on the thorns and vines to bar their passage as he exits his van to come up behind them and block the other side.

The Mirrorskin gasps in fear the moment he draws close, but it nevertheless moves in front of its companion. The grey one keeps its impassive expression even as its muscles tighten. He can feel a strong bond between the two, but the Contract between them is not one he recognises.

"Who are you?" asks the Mirrorskin.

"I left my Name in Arcadia. Until I can reclaim it, call me The Tall Blue Man."

"What do you want with us?"

"I want you to tell me a story, one I've not heard before." He reaches out and lightly touches the Mirrorskin, enjoying how its flesh ripples at his touch. The Faceless must have deeply loved this one. It pulls back from him.

"You've not told me your Names."

"Call me Ditto," replies the Mirrorskin.

"I'm Maud Pie." Maud looks about them as though seeking a path to escape. "Since you've trapped us here, I guess we aren't permitted to refuse. Do you mind if I negotiate for us both, Ditto?"

"Go for it. You have a sharper mind for dealing with Contracts."

"Right then." Maud turns its attention back to the man. "I would like to offer you a Contract," it states in its flat, boring voice.

He is beginning to regret asking it for a story.

"We'll each tell you half a story. If you accept our shared story as a new one for your collection, we'll be free to go and you'll never tell any other Arcadian or Hedge dweller or anything else that uses your type of magick about us or where you heard it. You will replace all the Names in it with fictitious Names of your own invention. If you don't accept it as a new story, you may do with us whatever you do to people who fail your request. Do you accept?"

"I do." His vocal agreement is sufficient to Bind him to the Contract, but he offers his hand regardless. Humans always seem to expect that, as though the physical gesture has some bearing on the weight of their Contracts. Once both have taken his hand, he says, "You may start."

They whisper to each other for a moment before Ditto begins: "Once upon a time, there was a young woman named Candy."

Chapter I

This story starts with the Court of Fear's ascension last year. Many of the Freehold's Changelings had gathered that day to pay their respects to the new monarch ... is what they claimed, but they were really there just to establish the new pecking order and try to cosy up to Ashen Monarch. That's a thing we've always done with each changing of the season.

Well, most of us. Darklings stay at the bottom except during High Winter, so I usually skip the transition ceremonies unless I'm ordered to attend. I was only there that day because I had heard two Mages were set to visit the Autumn Throne. This was hardly the first time members of their Consilium had come to visit us, but I had never got to see one of them on our turf before and wasn't going to miss it.

I was skulking in the back, blending into the scenery like I normally do. It's a good way to learn interesting secrets. Everybody's talking, bartering, issuing threats, the usual, when the whole room goes dead silent. Since Ashen Monarch wasn't issuing a proclamation, I figured our guests had arrived and looked around. Sure enough, there they were ... and Candy was their sponsor. She led those two Mages, Sparky and Midnight Radiance, right into the heart of the Freehold. I'd known for some time that she's chummy with a few of them, but I never thought she'd take the risk of censure or maybe being branded anathema for openly admitting to associating with them. Despite that, there she was introducing them to the throne and throwing her support behind their request.

The Mages, along with the Werewolves and Vampires, were in the middle of a war against other Mages. They were losing, badly, and had come to ask for our help. Ashen Monarch refused, that was hardly a surprise, and sent them away. She and most everybody else in the Freehold except Candy hate and fear Mages, just as they always have. It's tradition. What surprised me, though, was when she gave us permission to join their army or whatever it was on an individual basis.

Candy did not look happy. She made a quick announcement to everybody that she was going to be helping the Mages before escorting them back out. I was bored and curious, so I blended into the scenery again and secretly tailed them back to the street. Sparky and Candy talked a bit, Candy told them how to find a group of Created passing through town, and the Mages left.

Let's just say the whole thing had been underwhelming compared to my expectations. I was going to leave for what passes for my home, but of course Candy knew I was there.

"You can come out now, Ditto," she said. "Are you going to help us?"

"That depends on what deal the Mages are offering. I could poke my head out tomorrow and find Huntsmen have been drawn here and are running rampant because of them. What are they offering to make that a worthwhile risk?"

She looked hurt, saddened even, at my reply. That bothered me, the deep part where I'm still human. She did take me under her wing when I first arrived in the Freehold and gave me a Name when I couldn't remember mine. She's also one of the few who doesn't discriminate against Darklings. I wouldn't say I'll do anything she asks, but I'm a damn sight more likely to than I will for anybody in an 'official' capacity after the way they've treated me. Hell, you could even call us friends after a manner of speaking, or at least something approximate.

Candy has these really bright blue eyes that are ridiculously full of expression, not dead like most Beasts. She really knows how to use those big eyes of hers, going from weepy to happy to manic in less time than a hummingbird can flap its wings. She even had tears just waiting to fall if I refused.

"Fine, I'll help," I said when I couldn't take it anymore.

You might have thought I had promised her untold wealth for how she lit up at that. She even hugged me.

Candy's Mage friend drew up the plans and told her where to go and what to do. I was a tag-along with a death wish, except it turned out I needn't have worried. Candy had me stay hidden in the background the whole time "just in case the baddies need a double helping of Changeling persuasion." I didn't even have to do anything. Between the Created - who really aren't so bad once you get past the whole 'reanimated corpses' thing - and the enemy Mages effectively shooting themselves in the foot, I could have stayed home and accomplished just as much.

About the only worrisome moment was when the Mages broke reality and accidentally summoned a monster that puts even the worst of you Gentry to shame. I was sure my old Keeper would come swooping in and grab me, but I guess he was as preoccupied by trying and failing not to look at that thing as I was.

Thank the gods that Sparky girl knew how to deal with it, or there wouldn't be a city here for you visit. Or maybe there would, except it would be the ruins of a city that's been wiped from time but somehow still exists. I can at least say I wouldn't be here to tell you about it. Unless I was. But then I'd be a revenant or something?

Mages get into some really fucked up stuff. And people say we're the strange ones.

In the span of a couple hours, 'we' - by which I mean like six people out of our whole group while the rest of us just stood there and tried not to get in the way - defeated the bad guys and brought peace back to our city.

And the Normies never knew the difference.

Candy and I went back to the Freehold and reported the end of the war. I don't think Ashen Monarch believed us at first, given how quickly it ended. She just gave us the equivalent of a pat on the head with a condescending "good job" - by which I mean that's exactly what she did. We were war heroes, damn it, and we didn't even get a reward. I was still a titleless Darkling who was better neither seen nor heard ... nor welcome in the same room. Candy was still a Dame who likes to throw parties and kind of creeps out half the Freehold with her impossibly wide smiles full of fox fangs.

The bitch's response still pisses me off to this day. Even if they wouldn't admit it, our monarchs were freaking over that war. When Mages start throwing their magick around, everything and everybody nearby tends to pay for it. You know, the whole aforementioned "it's been written out of history" thing or the "monsters from beyond space and time crawling about the yard and eating your kids" thing.

Candy was pissed, too, if for different reasons. That's what leads to the next part of the story, but I think I'll leave it for Maud to tell. The meeting took place at her house, after all.

Chapter II

The meeting took place on a typical wintery Saturday morning. The sun was shining, but we were expecting a blizzard soon. Boulder was hiding that day after I had to put him in time out for breaking a plate. I was helping my sister make cookies and cupcakes for the guests she was having over when someone knocked at the door.

"Can you get that?" she asked. "My hands are covered in batter."

I used my clean hands to open the door. I had been expecting her old school friends because she hadn't told me anything about the plans for the party except she had friends coming. Instead of Sunset and the others, there were four Changelings I hadn't met before waiting on the porch. There was actually a fifth, but Ditto was hiding in the shadow of the roof overhang so I didn't know she was there yet and I did already know who she was because of my sister mentoring her.

"Hello. You must be Candy's friends," I said. "Come in. You can sit in the living room." I led them into the living room. "She'll be ready in a few minutes."

I went back to the kitchen, where my sister was washing her hands. She had probably licked all the batter off them again.

"Your friends are here," I said. "I'll get the dishes washed. Go have fun."

"I need to confess something," she said. "This isn't actually a party. Didn't you notice how I've only used half smiles today? This is a Serious Business meeting." She grabbed my head and pulled my face closer to hers until our noses were almost touching. "And I want you, my super brave and super smart sister, in on it."

I know my sister can be dramatic sometimes, but I've known her all her life and can tell when she's serious about 'Serious Business'. She can also be reckless at times. I didn't want to her to get hurt, which is why I decided to join.

"I'll do whatever I can to help," I said.

She started to grin like she usually does until she remembered the day was Serious Business and settled on a devilish smirk instead. She pulled me into the living room and put me between a Dancer and an Airtouched. There was a Drudge, too, who was cleaning the living room until Candy ordered him to sit. A Render had tucked himself into the corner next to the television since there wasn't anywhere else he would fit without being in the way. I still didn't know Ditto was there until Candy pulled her out of the curtains and put her next to the Drudge.

"Why did you want to see us on such short notice, Candy?" asked the Airtouched.

"Hey, this is a Serious Business Clandestine Meeting," she said. "We need to use code names. I'll be 'Glorious Leader of the Coming Storm-Slash-Revolution'."

She began pointing to each of us and giving us code names. I'll use those from now on to protect their identities. I was 'Rocktologist'. The Render was 'Destructor'. The Airtouched was 'Messenger'. The Dancer was 'Double Agent'. The Drudge was 'Saboteur'. Ditto was 'Spy-Slash-Recon'. After some debate, Candy shortened her code name to 'Leader'. She did salvage part of it by calling our group 'Troops of the Coming Glorious Revolution'.

"So what is this revolution, oh glorious Leader?" asked Spy-Slash-Recon.

"Guys, we're being pushed to the fringes," she said. "Our Freehold is struggling for resources, and it's only been getting worse over the years. I've called you here and trust you to keep our meeting secret because I know you've all felt the pinch. We're all near the bottom, the cast-offs who get called names and pushed about just because of who we are. Well, I don't know about you, but I won't stand for it anymore."

"So, what, we're going to overthrow the monarchs and instal better ones who will take care of us?" asked Saboteur.

"I'm getting to that. Let me finish my motivational speech first." My sister cleared her throat. "The members of the Concord are claiming all the good territory and alliances across the city for themselves. They don't have to waste resources to get influence over whole sectors of the city because they share with each instead of competing ... sometimes, anyway, and not always nicely, but they do. We've spent forty years competing with the Sin-Eaters for the scraps, and they put up a surprisingly good fight despite how hard it is for them to get Plasm compared to us collecting Glamour."

"Yeah, who knew those ghost whisperers could - wait, how do you know so much about Sin-Eaters?" asked Double Agent.

I think she was being rhetorical. If she wasn't, she never got her question answered because no one replied.

"Emerald Monarch just wants to fuck everything that moves, and I'm pretty sure he spends all the rest of his time admiring his leather collection. Crimson Monarch keeps promising to drive back the Concord and seize their territory for us, but that campaign never happens. Ashen Monarch adamantly insists 'everything is fine, why do you ask?' before slinking off to bully some underling who can't fight back. Onyx Monarch is a defeatist who's waiting for the sky to fall, and I am seriously surprised he hasn't just gone running back to Arcadia already. I mean, good god, what's with the overgrown emo boy? I get he leads the Court of Sorrow and all, but that's no reason to be a mopey-moper all the time. And another thing-"

I gave a small cough to remind our Leader to get back on topic.

"-and we'll talk more about the Court of Sorrow and its totally-an-emo monarch later, yeah?" She stood on her chair to finish her speech. "Brothers and sisters - and literal sister - the time has come to get out from under the current monarchs' feet. We must stand up and show this Freehold that we are not to be taken lightly. Together, we can make a bright future for all of us!"

"And how do you want to do that?" asked Destructor.

"Simple: We'll overthrow the Seasonal Courts and appoint me Dawn Queen of the Freehold, then I'll get us into the Concord."

After the shocked silence and ensuing argument, I would say the rest the meeting was productive. We came up with a plan to get the rebellion under way but also to keep it secret so we wouldn't be dragged naked through the thorns of the Hedge. Our first target was Onyx Monarch, though I think that was because my sister really doesn't like him. Since I wasn't there for any of that, do you mind taking over, Ditto?

Chapter III

We were all hesitant to declare our support. I think the only reason we did join is because Candy is the closest thing to a friend each of us has. Once we were all in, Double Agent, Messenger, and I started drafting a Contract. Candy put a stop to that.

"No Contracts," she said. "I don't want to bring magick into this. It's enough for me that I trust all of you, and I hope you trust me the same."

Then she brought in the eyes again, and we all broke down and agreed to do it like Normies. That put six Changelings and a human against the fifty-some-odd of the Freehold.

What do you do when you're outnumbered and outgunned? Get sneaky. That was what we all agreed was best, anyway. There was no chance we would survive attacking directly, and we couldn't hope to win a guerilla war. We estimated we had at most one week after we started moving to win or we were done and could look forward to slow, painful deaths or being sent back to Arcadia. Honestly, I'd take whatever death they offered me over that any day of the week.

Contrary to what Maud believes, Candy wanted to start with Onyx Monarch not because she hated him the most - she saved that place in her heart for Ashen Monarch, a fact we'll come to later - but because he was taking the throne with winter's onset. She said that actually made him more vulnerable if she played her cards right. None of us knew what she meant or what her plan was, only that her outsider friends would somehow play a role.

That secrecy set the tone for all our meetings. Candy was extraordinarily careful to make sure we only knew what we needed to know so we would always have plausible deniability. That's a thing with us humans where we bullshit our way out of compromising situations by having some half-arsed excuse for why we were there that everybody knows is a bald-faced lie, but they can't prove it's a lie and have to accept it because we've all agreed to the shared delusion of a concept called "innocent until proven guilty." This is called 'consensual reality', a concept I'm sure you find wholly alien.

Our neighbours - the Mages, Vampires, and Werewolves - all have an alliance with one another, that Concord we've mentioned before. Part of what helps them keep from breaking down and tearing out each other's throats is this annual party, something they call the Congressus Peculiaris, where they all get together and try to play nice. They held it on the winter solstice last year, and Candy's Mage friends invited her to attend with them. Of course she went, and of course our weepy Onyx Monarch was pissed when he found out.

He summoned Candy before a tribunal on Christmas Eve. I don't know about you, but I think anybody who'd put somebody on trial right before the holidays is a dick and deserves what happened to him later. I didn't know yet this was part of her plan, only that all members of the Freehold were required to attend her trial. The only clue I had that this was what Candy wanted to happen was when she gave me some blue powder and told me to mix it into Sugar Drop's drink while everybody was distracted.

"Dame Candy, you are accused of willfully disregarding the directives of the Courts to associate with outsiders. Furthermore, we have it on good authority you have on multiple occasions revealed the secrets of our magick to them, an act of high treason," he declared. "How do you plead?"

She stood up tall and looked him right in the eye to say, "If going to a party with my friends is a crime, then I plead guilty."

"So be it. You are hereby found guilty of treason and willful endangerment of this Freehold." All four monarchs carry weapons, and his is a sword. He drew it and held it against her neck. "The punishment for both is death. Do you have any last words before I dispense justice?"

She gave one of those little smirks, the one she uses when somebody's right where she wants. Normally, it's a good thing, like when she's planning a surprise party. This time? It sent a shiver up my spine.

"You haven't left me with anything to lose, so I hereby demand trial by combat."

Our Freehold system comes from Europe and was invented back when trial by combat was an acceptable way to judge somebody. Since the monarchs swore to uphold the ancient seasonal Contracts, they're bound to obey. We almost never use it because few crimes would be worth the risk. In a trial by combat, either side is free to use lethal force, and most monarchs are pretty good in a scrap or have somebody on retainer who is.

I'd imagine that's why Candy's demand took the wind right of Onyx Monarch's sails. His eyes widened, half the courtiers gasped, and Sugar Drop just passed out then and there. Must have fainted from the shock, poor thing. I decided to be a sweetheart and carry her home, just as Candy asked.

"Very well," he said, though we could all tell he really didn't want to agree. Ever had a Beast smirk at you? I would have pissed myself. "Our contest will take place within the Hedge. I will sequester myself, and you will have one full day and night to find me. If you find me within the allotted time, we will engage in battle. All standard rules regarding the use of Contracts will be in force. If you fail to find me in time, fail to obey the rules as written, or lose our battle, you will be judged guilty. Our contest will start at dawn tomorrow and end the following dawn."

"Sounds good to me," she said, an eerily wide grin on her face. Keep in mind that she's a member of the Dawn Court.

Candy was kept imprisoned at the Freehold, but she was allowed visitors. Since we didn't want to appear suspicious, I was the only one to visit.

"I need you to get a message to the Hobgoblins for me," she said once we were sure nobody was spying on us. "Tell them to put the plan into action. They'll know where to meet me."

"What about the rest of us?" I asked.

"You know the spot between the candied lava lamps and the singing pistachios? Be there by sundown. B-Y-O-B."

I took her message to the rest of the team, including Maud. We weren't thrilled about escorting a human through the Hedge, but we had no way of knowing which of us Candy would need. We assumed she wanted us to help her in the fight.

If I've learnt any one thing in my years chumming about with Candy, it's that what you think she's planning is probably wrong. I should have remembered that before making a Contract with those hunting knives I ... er, 'borrowed.'

We showed up to that little corner of the Hedge as requested to find Candy and a group of Hobgoblins sitting about a fire. No worries, no tension in the atmosphere, seemingly not a care to be had. They were holding hands, bobbing back and forth as they sang a little ditty about spearing the captured animal and cooking it over the flame for dinner.

Behind them was a section of thorny vines that trembled and wept. My curiosity got the better of me when I realised none of the revellers were in a hurry to end their song. I took a peek into the vines.

I found what I first thought was a tumorous growth from a flesh tree. That lump turned out to be Onyx Monarch, but I could only recognise him thanks to the crown that lay on the grass beside him and some shreds of his costume. He looked as if he had quadrupled in size, just this disgusting corpulent mass that was trying desperately to roll out of imprisonment amongst the thorns.

He finally gave up and lay there sobbing and pleading to be set back to rights. Candy stood, walked right over to his oversized head, and squatted next to him.

"Will you agree before all these witnesses to a Contract lasting one lunar month to grant me any one request without restriction at the time of my choosing?"

"I agree to the Contract as stated," he whimpered.

"And will you further agree before all these witnesses to a Contract lasting forever and one day pledging that you won't tell anybody what happened here?"

"I agree! Please, just end this curse."

Candy stood, looked at her Hobgoblin crew, and said, "Sorry, guys, I guess he decided to be agreeable in the end. Why don't you put him back to normal, and I'll make some of my special cupcakes for you instead?"

They cheered and went right to working their magick. In a moment, Onyx Monarch was back to normal. He didn't say anything, just took off like a bat out of Hell, while we all gaped at Candy.

"The hell?" I finally asked.

"The rules say we can't call for retainers, but they don't say anything about not calling for help from friends. These little guys," she patted the closest Hobgoblin's head, "are my friends, not retainers, just like you."

"So that's why you didn't want to form a Contract."

Candy didn't reply. She just did a little happy dance as she said, "One down, three to go. This is going to be fun." She giggled then, but it wasn't like the kind she normally used. I'm not sure how to describe it, just to say that it caused me to shiver again. "Ditto, did you take care of Sugar Drop?"

"Yeah, no problems there."

She took a deep breath in and out through her nose. "I love the scents of fear, campfires, friends, and victory in the evening. I hope Emerald Monarch is ready for the dry, stale, three-day-old-leftover-slice-of-cake-you-forgot-about taste defeat, 'cause we're taking him down next."

While I did help in bringing down Emerald Monarch, Maud was more directly involved. Want to take over?

Chapter IV

Since my sister was forced to spend Christmas Day defeating Onyx Monarch, we ended up not holidaying with our family. I claimed to be sick and promised we would visit for the New Year instead. My sister was cleared of all crimes by Boxing Day.

I thought we wouldn't be needing to rush into the next confrontation anymore since Onyx Monarch couldn't share his humiliating defeat even if he wanted to. My sister had said nothing to us about immediate plans to move forward.

I was settling down in my room to read the latest issues of EARTH Magazine and Geological Magazine. I was just getting into an article about the effects of ancient megafloods in shaping canyons in Iceland when I heard my sister coming in. She went straight to her room. I wouldn't have thought anything of it except for a thud that caused the floor to tremble. Thuds and other noises aren't that uncommon when you live with her, and I've learnt over the years how to differentiate between them: The door slamming, her backing into the garage, the oven exploding, the latest dance craze taken too far, and loads of others. This was more like she had dropped something heavy. She didn't call for me, so I went back to reading.

That evening, after I finished both magazines, I went to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. As I passed by her door, I heard some grunts and moans coming from inside. That was new. I was worried she might be hurt and decided to check on her, so I knocked on her door.

A moment later, she asked, "Who is it?"

"It's Maud," I said. "Is everything alright?"

"Oh, we're just dandy in here," she said.

"Do you have a friend over?" I asked.

There was a brief pause. I heard rustling and what sounded like her whispering. She opened the door just enough to let me see her looking out at me. A few drops of sweat trickled down her forehead and her face was flushed.

"It's just me and Gummy here. Nobody else. Just a quiet evening in to catch up on my reading. I bought the latest Betty Crocker cookbook that I'm reading all by myself. Except for Gummy. I don't have any company over, no siree Bob." She giggled, but it was forced and she was starting to sweat more. "Have you ever wondered what Bob has to with it? I know I have. Maybe I should save my new cookbook for later and try to figure out what Bob has to do with anything since I definitely don't have anything else going on and no company."

A paper fluttered from her room and out her door to land on the hall floor. I picked it up to give back to her, but then I saw the words written at the top: TOP SECRET PLAN TO SEDUCE EMERALD MONARCH. There was a checklist underneath, and the first item was 'chloroform'. I stopped reading then and held it up for her to see. She started sweating even more and turned bright red.

"What's this?" I asked.

When she didn't say anything, I started to reach for the door. She tried to grab my hand, but that caused the shoulder of her loose tee-shirt to slip down her arm. Instead of her normal bra strap, I saw the top of what looked like a leather vest or something. I'm not sure what it was, since I'm not really into that type of thing. She saw that I had noticed it and quickly pulled her shirt back into place.

"Are you wearing leather?" I asked.

"No," she said, her voice stammering a bit. "Why would you think that, my poor sleep-deprived sister who is definitely having visual hallucinations? Besides, I wouldn't wear leather right now. Rarity says it's three seasons ago, and I'm pretty sure PETA would firebomb the house if they found out."

I gave her what she calls my 'big sister stare'. After a few seconds of that, she broke and started to cry.

"I'm going to die alone and unloved," she said through her tears.

I realised I had overshot getting her to confess what she doing and turned down the intensity of my stare. She started to calm down right away and opened her door to let me into her room.

Tied to her bed was a naked man. He had a gag in his mouth, and he looked at us with wide eyes. In the corner where my sister usually kept her stuffed animals was a collection of bondage equipment. There were several lit candles, a cat-o-nine-tails, and fuzzy handcuffs on her nightstand. She pulled off her shirt to show that she was wearing a full body leather outfit that was one size too small for her and probably chafed. Based on the note, I surmised the man was Emerald Monarch.

"My first question is: Are you using protection? My second question is: Have you established a safe word?" I asked.

"How is a whip supposed to hurt if you have protection?" she said. "And how can he say 'safe' when the gag's in his mouth?"

"Never mind," I said. "How will you keep anyone from noticing he's gone?"

"Oh, Ditto is taking care of that," she said. "She's a Mirrorskin, after all. Sugar Drop is going to tell everybody she's spent the last day with him because she'll think she has."

"That makes sense. What exactly is your plan here?" I asked.

She fidgeted for a moment before she said, "Well, I heard from Sugar Drop that Emerald Monarch likes it rough, so I've been trying to seduce him into agreeing to the Contract, but I must be doing it wrong because he just keeps crying and demanding I release him every time I take out the gag."

"Is the gag supposed to have that big hole in it?" I asked.

"I don't know. Some guy at the adult store recommended it. There wasn't an instruction book," she said. She gestured to the candles. "And these scented candles aren't very good. They only smell like hot wax."

"I think you're supposed pour the melted wax on him, not scent the room," I said.

She lit up at that and rushed over to the side of the bed. "So that's what I've been wrong," she said as she grabbed one of the candles and poured wax across his chest. He started screaming through the gag and crying.

She took out his gag and asked, "Are you starting to be seduced now?"

"When I am free, I will see to it you suffer one thousand times the pains and humiliations you've inflicted on me," he said.

She put his gag back and said, "Well, that's a bust. Now I'll try Plan B: Wait for him to try to escape again so we can re-enact that one scene from Misery."

"Which scene?" I asked. "The one where she breaks his legs?"

"That's the one," she said.

I turned toward her door and said, "As much as I appreciate your attempt to be authentic, substitution plans tend to fall apart if the mole has to spend too much time undercover. Let me get one of my sledgehammers. Do you want the ten pound one or the fifteen?"

"Might as well make it the twenty," she said. "Let's do this right." She moved to kneel next to her lamp and turned it on so she had a lightbulb over her head. "You know, if we're not worrying too much about authenticity, why stop at his legs?"

Emerald Monarch began thrashing about on the bed and squealing through the gag. My sister and I turned back to him.

"I take it you're ready to agree to the Contract now?" she asked.

He nodded vigorously. She removed his gag and made him swear to the exact same contracts she had given to Onyx Monarch the day before. Once he did, she let him go. He ran out of the house naked, even though she had his clothes right there.

That's how my sister took down the Court of Desire. I missed getting to see how she dealt with the Court of Wrath since I had to go see our family, so Ditto can take over.

Chapter V

At that point, we had two monarchs down and two more to leave with PTSD. Speaking of which, I was going to need time and therapy to recover from being Emerald Monarch, not that we could wait that long. Sugar Drop is a freak, and I don't mean that in a good way. I have scars from her spurs.

We were heading into the New Year, which is both a wonderful and terrible time to launch a coup d'état. Candy was supposed to visit her family, but she couldn't afford to leave and risk Crimson and Ashen Monarchs discovering our plans. Maud ended up covering for her so she could stay.

The Court of Sorrow was solidifying power for the season and declared a non-mandatory revel for the New Year. Candy said we needed to take down Crimson Monarch before that.

Winter and summer are polar opposites of seasons, and that reflects in how their respective Courts view the world. Because of that, the Court of Wrath and the Court of Sorrow are usually the two with the worst relationship. Our Crimson Monarch isn't any different, and he made no secret of his particular loathing for Onyx Monarch. That, said Candy, would be his downfall. She gathered us for a meeting and we formed our plan.

It's worth noting Destructor used to be a member of the Summer Court before some kind of falling out with Crimson Monarch. I still don't know the details to this day, only that it had been humiliating and Destructor wanted revenge. Given that Candy always seems to know more about the goings-on of the Freehold than anybody else, I assume she knew that when she promised him the central role in our plot.

As for the plan itself? All the Courts have legends and myths about their foundings. We tell each other those stories for a variety of reasons, and most of us have favourites. Crimson Monarch was known for favouring the Tale of the Three Siblings, and Candy used that information when she approached him with a proposition: To remind everybody during this season of sorrow that they're basically white-wearing emo wannabes, why not put on a play of the Summer Court's founding and remind them what strength is?

His eyes lit up like hers do when there's talk of uneaten cupcakes available. He agreed without even thinking about why several Changelings completely unaffiliated with the Court of Wrath were offering to help promote the Court of Wrath.

Since Onyx and Emerald Monarchs were watching us warily all the time, we decided to skip rehearsals. Crimson Monarch was happy to oblige. The only thing bigger than his axe is his ego, and he couldn't wait when she promised him the leading role. Candy offered to handle everything, told him he only needed to show up the next day.

This time, all of us except Maud had a role to play. Messenger was playing the youngest sister, Destructor was the eldest brother, Candy was the middle child, and Double Agent was handling the wolf. Since Drudges do their best work when nobody's looking ... or are even aware they exist, actually, I've no idea to this day what Saboteur was doing. He must have done his job right, though, or I'd be drawn and quartered now instead of telling you this story. Oh, and I was the narrator. Officially.

Crimson Monarch showed up, and he made sure we had a full house for the show. He was all "I'm ready to show the glorious history of the Court of Wrath!" Candy just told him to get into costume straightaway. He was playing Highest Summer, the sun that gave Summer Court its Mantle. He wasn't thrilled at first until Candy pointed out he'd be acting as the very elemental force of nature that gives so much strength to those in a Contract with it. She basically stroked his ego until he agreed.

So we started. Most of the story was as any Summer Courtier can tell you: Three siblings escape Arcadia, notice a wolf chasing the sun, and leap into action to help without thinking. Youngest sister gets the wolf to chase her, middle child eats a trough in the Earth to trap the wolf, and eldest son chucks a mountain atop the wolf's grave. Highest Summer, grateful for the help and impressed by their mad skills, makes a Seasonal Pact with them. The story normally ends there.

I think now even you can understand why Crimson Monarch was so surprised when we announced a brief interlude before the second act. You see, the end of the normal story warns that the wolf is going to escape someday. When he asked what the hell we were planning, Candy fed him some line about ending with modern Summer Courtiers taking down the wolf once and for all, and that was all it took to get him pumped for the second act.

How did we open that second act? With the wolf's escape and his subsequent devouring of Highest Summer, of course. When that announcement came, there was this pause, as though everybody was trying to decide if they'd heard the narration correctly. That moment of confusion was all we needed to put the real plan into action.

Remember when I said I was 'officially' the narrator? What nobody outside our little group knew was that my lines were recorded and I'd been hiding in the shadows of the stage the whole time. When Crimson Monarch was distracted by being 'devoured,' I hit him with a dart full of horse tranquiliser. He's a big guy, but even he couldn't withstand that. Nobody watching even knew. He just sort of stumbled about the stage mumbling something until he collapsed. From what I heard later, that was widely agreed to be his best performance.

Anyway, with him sedated and no longer needed for the play, the rest of the gang wrapped up whatever crazy story Candy wrote. I moved his unconscious body into the back and then took his place long enough to take a bow for him. Our show received a standing ovation, though most of those were from the Crimson Courtiers.

I think Emerald Monarch knew we were up to something; he kept eyeing me suspiciously as though trying to decide whether I was really Crimson Monarch or not. After all, the one drawback to our plan was that 'I' couldn't be on the stage to bow at the same time as the person I was impersonating. Candy did her best to cover for me by having me take a bow on my own. My pre-recorded narration received more applause than anybody except Double Agent's wolf. Even Emerald Monarch applauded me ... though he remained seated, the bastard.

Ah, right, I should get back to the point of the story. After we lowered the curtain, our troupe was left with one unconscious monarch who would definitely be missed. I didn't know him well enough to impersonate him, and we were all certain Emerald Monarch would test anybody looking like him after we had already used that trick once. We needed to get Crimson Monarch to agree to both Contracts quickly.

"I still get to handle 'negotiations,' don't I?" asked Destructor.

"Of course. I'd never go back on a promise to friend," replied Candy. "He's all yours. You have thirty minutes."

"I'll have him offering to retrieve all our stolen Memories from Arcadia by then."

He picked up Crimson Monarch and carried him off to the changing room. There followed much agonised screaming for about twenty minutes before they returned. We all watched as Crimson Monarch prostrated himself before Candy, the proud King barely more than a quivering mass of jelly at that point.

"Please, I'll do anything, just make him stop," he begged. "I can't take it anymore. There should be laws against this. This is a crime against humanity!"

"You'll do anything?" asked Candy.

"If it'll put an end to listening to his poetry, I would even swear to go to your old Keeper's Demesne and attempt to retrieve your Memories."

"Told you," said Destructor.

"I appreciate your offer, but I have most of my Memories already. I'll tell you what you can do for me."

She presented the same two Contracts. He once again agreed immediately.

After that, we only had the Autumn Court left to topple. I say 'only', but we all knew that last one would be the most difficult. They don't call themselves the Court of Fear for no reason, and it's really hard to get a one-up on their members. Ashen Monarch was certain to be expecting us.

Candy had this firm resolve in her eyes I've never seen before as she promised everything would end at the New Year revel. Maud even came back from holiday early for the final confrontation. Want to take it from there?

Chapter VI

Our family home is about two hours from the city. Because of everything happening here, I hadn't planned to go back for holiday in case my sister needed my help. She told me to go to maintain her cover. Any spies keeping an eye on us would report me leaving like I do every year. Her remaining here was the only anomaly, but she made sure to issue a public RSVP for the Winter Court's revel so it didn't look too odd.

I told our family she wasn't feeling well. Late on New Year's Eve, she rang me and pretended to have taken a turn for the worse, giving me an excuse to come back here. Our family believed it, thanks to her magick changing her voice to cause her to sound as though she was on the edge of death itself.

I was back home about two hours before midnight. My sister was waiting for me. She had me get into a costume because the revel was a masquerade ball. People like me, who can be exposed to Faerie magick without going mad, are rarely allowed into the Freehold. Revels are the exception. I was going as her partner like I usually do.

As usual, none of us knew what she was planning. We spent the entire trip to the Freehold listening to my sister talk about her Mage friends. She was trying to make it sound like her normal chatter, but I noticed she kept referencing the war. My sister doesn't like to talk about that time because two of her closest friends were murdered and several others nearly died. I think it was on her mind at that time because we were going up against Ashen Monarch, the one who refused to help the Mages.

The revel was already underway when we arrived. According to the others, most of the Freehold were in attendance. Onyx Monarch was on the throne, overseeing everything. They all use the same throne, but they use magick to change its appearance to match their season. His was a greyish white with a snowflake above it. The other three monarchs were spread about the room with their allies.

"Stay casual," my sister whispered to us. "You'll know when it's time for you to act if you need to do anything."

Everyone else dispersed. I stayed with Candy because I was her partner. She likes to dance and I don't, so I got a drink and stayed on the side while she danced with some of the others. She even dragged Emerald Monarch onto the floor with her. He looked uncomfortable the whole time and tried to keep her from touching him.

I had noticed Ashen Monarch looking at me sometimes while she was talking to her allies and retainers. About forty minutes before midnight, she approached me and said, "What a surprise to see Dame Candy's ... sister, if I remember correctly? I heard you were visiting your family. What brings you here?"

"I promised to attend tonight's revel," I said. I made sure everything I told her was true because Candy warned us Ashen Monarch might have a Contract to detect lies. "It's always interesting to visit the Freehold."

"The two of you are nothing alike," she said. "Might she have been adopted?"

"I remember when she was born, your majesty," I said.

"Switched at birth, then?" she said.

"You know, I get that 'were you adopted or switched at birth?' question a lot whenever somebody meets me family," my sister said. She had come up beside us. She took my arm as though to lead me away. "If you'll excuse us, your majesty, I would like to talk to my sister privately."

"I grant you some of my time and this is how you respond?" Ashen Monarch said. "We are in the middle of a conversation, Dame Candy. When will you learn to show some respect?"

"Respect?" My sister's real smile vanished as she spoke. She had a fake one instead. "Sure." She turned toward the crowd and called, "Can I have your attention please?"

The music stopped, the dancing stopped, and our friends started shifting toward us. Ashen Monarch looked surprised at Candy calling attention on us, but she went back to her normal neutral expression quickly.

"I know this is a Winter Court revel, but I would like to acknowledge our Ashen Monarch," my sister said. "Did you know she's both the oldest member of the Freehold and has been here the longest? How about a round of applause for her?" The audience seemed confused, but they went along with it once our group started. "You know, that might make her sound old, but she's really not. She escaped Arcadia about forty years ago, when she was still a little girl." My sister's fake smile turned into one of those smirks Ditto described earlier. "And now that I think about it, that's pretty impressive, too. I mean, every single member of the Freehold who was here when she returned is dead, disappeared, recaptured, or moved away." She looked at Ashen Monarch. "Let's have another round of applause for the monarch who's been able to avoid all of those for almost forty years now!"

"What are you doing?" asked Ashen Monarch. "Are you attempting to imply some illicit behaviour?"

"Not at all, your majesty," said Candy. Her voice had that fake sweetness she uses whenever she talks to people she doesn't like but doesn't want them to know. "But you know, I've noticed only people who are guilty of something ask questions like that. This one girl who bullied people in my secondary school used to do that, and it was always a sign she'd done something bad until she got smart enough to stop doing it."

"I have had enough of your insolence, Dame Candy," said Ashen Monarch.

"And I've had enough of your retainers spying on me, your majesty," my sister said.

"How dare you-" Ashen Monarch started to say, but my sister got close to her and whispered, "And I know about what you did with your father."

Ashen Monarch smacked her and said, "I will be done with you, cur. You cast aspersions upon me. Such behaviour is tantamount to a challenge."

"A challenge? I accept," Candy said. "How about a duel, weapons only, no Contracts?"

At first, Ashen Monarch only stared at her like everyone else did. She chuckled and said, "Very well, but do not think I am unaware of what manipulations of the law you abused in your contest against Onyx Monarch. We shall duel, weapons only, no Contracts permitted, as you request. However, I add another condition: Neither of shall request or receive help from any other party living, dead, or otherwise."

I thought she would refuse, but Candy only said, "I agree. Start in five minutes?"

"Agreed," said Ashen Monarch.

They broke apart. Before I could say anything, Candy said, "I know what I'm doing, Sis. This ends tonight."

Ashen Monarch had two weapons: A bow and a hunting knife. I didn't know what weapons my sister had, though I assumed she had at least one given she seemed to have been planning to provoke a duel. When the time came, everyone cleared a space for them to battle. The other monarchs arranged a barrier so we could watch safely. They had a circle of about fifteen metres.

My sister dropped her Masque. She's always a fox underneath it, but her Masque somehow lets her act like a normal human. I don't completely understand it, just that she can fit through our doors in her Masque and not when she's a fox, except she's always a fox. I guess that would make sense to you, since you come from Arcadia. Ashen Monarch removed her Masque, too, and revealed she's a Leechfinger.

They started fighting right away. Ashen Monarch didn't bother with her bow. She dived at my sister with her hunting knife. Candy ducked and moved away. She was faster than Ashen Monarch, but I could tell right away she didn't know how to fight very well. Her dodges left too much exposed.

Ashen Monarch did know how to fight and took advantage of that. She managed to cut my sister's ribs twice, both enough to draw a medium amount of blood. I think Candy changed her mind about how she wanted to fight after the second cut and tried to bite Ashen Monarch. The Queen dodged it and grabbed one of my sister's cuts, then she used her magick to drain even more blood.

I was worried at first until I saw my sister grab one of Ashen Monarch's arrows and stab her in the arm with it. She screamed and pulled back. Where she'd been stabbed was turning black, and I realised the arrow tips were made of cold-wrought iron.

After that was more back and forth. Both were seriously hurting each other, and I was growing more worried about my sister every time she took another wound. Those arrows weren't the only weapon made with cold-wrought iron. Ashen Monarch's hunting knife was made of it, and she used that to stab Candy in the side. I thought my sister was going to die, except she had managed to wrap her teeth about Ashen Monarch's neck.

She bit down, not hard enough to break her neck or crush her windpipe, just enough to draw blood. Normal foxes have strong jaws like most members of the Canidae family do, and my sister was turned into a humanised red fox during her Durance. Another cut, stab, or blow would cause her to bite down.

Ashen Monarch must have understood that because she said, "I yield."

Almost everyone watching gasped in surprise.

"Dame Candy is the victor," said Onyx Monarch. "In accordance with the traditions, we will now hear your demand of Ashen Monarch in exchange for sparing her life."

I had not known before then that Changeling duels were normally fought to the death. Knowing my sister, she probably didn't tell me so I wouldn't be even more worried about her than I was.

"My demand of her is to relinquish her crown and throne and swear her fealty to the Dawn Throne instead," my sister said. Before anyone could say anything in response, she added, "And you know those Contracts I have with each of you, Onyx, Emerald, and Crimson Monarchs? To fulfil those, you'll have to do the same."

"You're the only member of the Dawn Court in this Freehold," said Emerald Monarch. "That would make you Queen."

"Huh, I guess it would," Candy said with that smile she uses when someone gives her a present.

"This is madness," said Onyx Monarch. "Breaking the cycle like this, each of us casting off our Mantles at once, will assuredly bring the Gentry down on us."

"No, it won't, not if the Dawn Throne takes power at dawn," she said. "Which is when it will unless you want to carry the title of Oathbreaker. What'll it be?"

I don't fully understand everything that goes with being branded an Oathbreaker. I've heard it leaves physical marks and makes it easier for one's old Keeper to locate them, but that's as much as I know. Whatever the specifics, I assume having to take that brand was even worse than what my sister demanded, because they all agreed.

At dawn this past New Year's Day, Candy went from being a Dame, the lowest title in the Freehold, to being the one and only Queen. She changed the throne to pink, orange, and gold, the colours of dawn. Since all four former monarchs knelt and swore fealty to her at the same time, most others did the same. She's had to spend the past year dealing with the few who refused. Unlike the previous rulers, she doesn't arrange for them to disappear or have accidents. She usually bribes them with empty positions and titles if she can't persuade them to 'live and let live'.

Her first proclamation was to allow people like me to join the Freehold as auxiliary members. Her friends were all put into positions where they would be happy and helpful, except for Ditto, who refused anything except a Dame title. She likes being a loner.

By the end of January, she completed negotiations with the other supernatural communities to join the Concord in time for the Freehold to be able to attend this year's Congressus Peculiaris. That was the first time I had ever met any Vampires and Werewolves, or Kindred and Uratha as they prefer to be called.

Not everything is perfect. The Changelings are still learning how to get along with everyone else after so many years of self-imposed isolation, and I've heard the others are still learning how to deal with Changelings. My sister has had to smooth over loads of disagreements and confrontations, but she doesn't complain too much except when someone is intentionally pushing the boundaries.

She's also trying to convince the Sin-Eaters to join, but that's a slow process. They don't have a central authority the way the Freehold does.

Despite the problems she's faced since becoming Dawn Queen, my sister is very happy with how everything turned out.

Oh, right, I'm supposed to do this like a storybook: And so we all lived happily ever after. Except for Emerald Monarch, who seems to have decided he liked what my sister did to him and has asked her to marry him twice now. She rejected him both times. He technically asked thrice, but she was gone the night he came to serenade her under the moonlight. I invited him inside and introduced him to my rocks as a consolation. Boulder took quite a liking to him. I never knew Boulder swings that way.

Now I can say it: The End.