At that point, we had two monarchs down and two more to leave with PTSD. Speaking of which, I was going to need time and therapy to recover from being Emerald Monarch, not that we could wait that long. Sugar Drop is a freak, and I don't mean that in a good way. I have scars from her spurs.

We were heading into the New Year, which is both a wonderful and terrible time to launch a coup d'état. Candy was supposed to visit her family, but she couldn't afford to leave and risk Crimson and Ashen Monarchs discovering our plans. Maud ended up covering for her so she could stay.

The Court of Sorrow was solidifying power for the season and declared a non-mandatory revel for the New Year. Candy said we needed to take down Crimson Monarch before that.

Winter and summer are polar opposites of seasons, and that reflects in how their respective Courts view the world. Because of that, the Court of Wrath and the Court of Sorrow are usually the two with the worst relationship. Our Crimson Monarch isn't any different, and he made no secret of his particular loathing for Onyx Monarch. That, said Candy, would be his downfall. She gathered us for a meeting and we formed our plan.

It's worth noting Destructor used to be a member of the Summer Court before some kind of falling out with Crimson Monarch. I still don't know the details to this day, only that it had been humiliating and Destructor wanted revenge. Given that Candy always seems to know more about the goings-on of the Freehold than anybody else, I assume she knew that when she promised him the central role in our plot.

As for the plan itself? All the Courts have legends and myths about their foundings. We tell each other those stories for a variety of reasons, and most of us have favourites. Crimson Monarch was known for favouring the Tale of the Three Siblings, and Candy used that information when she approached him with a proposition: To remind everybody during this season of sorrow that they're basically white-wearing emo wannabes, why not put on a play of the Summer Court's founding and remind them what strength is?

His eyes lit up like hers do when there's talk of uneaten cupcakes available. He agreed without even thinking about why several Changelings completely unaffiliated with the Court of Wrath were offering to help promote the Court of Wrath.

Since Onyx and Emerald Monarchs were watching us warily all the time, we decided to skip rehearsals. Crimson Monarch was happy to oblige. The only thing bigger than his axe is his ego, and he couldn't wait when she promised him the leading role. Candy offered to handle everything, told him he only needed to show up the next day.

This time, all of us except Maud had a role to play. Messenger was playing the youngest sister, Destructor was the eldest brother, Candy was the middle child, and Double Agent was handling the wolf. Since Drudges do their best work when nobody's looking ... or are even aware they exist, actually, I've no idea to this day what Saboteur was doing. He must have done his job right, though, or I'd be drawn and quartered now instead of telling you this story. Oh, and I was the narrator. Officially.

Crimson Monarch showed up, and he made sure we had a full house for the show. He was all "I'm ready to show the glorious history of the Court of Wrath!" Candy just told him to get into costume straightaway. He was playing Highest Summer, the sun that gave Summer Court its Mantle. He wasn't thrilled at first until Candy pointed out he'd be acting as the very elemental force of nature that gives so much strength to those in a Contract with it. She basically stroked his ego until he agreed.

So we started. Most of the story was as any Summer Courtier can tell you: Three siblings escape Arcadia, notice a wolf chasing the sun, and leap into action to help without thinking. Youngest sister gets the wolf to chase her, middle child eats a trough in the Earth to trap the wolf, and eldest son chucks a mountain atop the wolf's grave. Highest Summer, grateful for the help and impressed by their mad skills, makes a Seasonal Pact with them. The story normally ends there.

I think now even you can understand why Crimson Monarch was so surprised when we announced a brief interlude before the second act. You see, the end of the normal story warns that the wolf is going to escape someday. When he asked what the hell we were planning, Candy fed him some line about ending with modern Summer Courtiers taking down the wolf once and for all, and that was all it took to get him pumped for the second act.

How did we open that second act? With the wolf's escape and his subsequent devouring of Highest Summer, of course. When that announcement came, there was this pause, as though everybody was trying to decide if they'd heard the narration correctly. That moment of confusion was all we needed to put the real plan into action.

Remember when I said I was 'officially' the narrator? What nobody outside our little group knew was that my lines were recorded and I'd been hiding in the shadows of the stage the whole time. When Crimson Monarch was distracted by being 'devoured,' I hit him with a dart full of horse tranquiliser. He's a big guy, but even he couldn't withstand that. Nobody watching even knew. He just sort of stumbled about the stage mumbling something until he collapsed. From what I heard later, that was widely agreed to be his best performance.

Anyway, with him sedated and no longer needed for the play, the rest of the gang wrapped up whatever crazy story Candy wrote. I moved his unconscious body into the back and then took his place long enough to take a bow for him. Our show received a standing ovation, though most of those were from the Crimson Courtiers.

I think Emerald Monarch knew we were up to something; he kept eyeing me suspiciously as though trying to decide whether I was really Crimson Monarch or not. After all, the one drawback to our plan was that 'I' couldn't be on the stage to bow at the same time as the person I was impersonating. Candy did her best to cover for me by having me take a bow on my own. My pre-recorded narration received more applause than anybody except Double Agent's wolf. Even Emerald Monarch applauded me ... though he remained seated, the bastard.

Ah, right, I should get back to the point of the story. After we lowered the curtain, our troupe was left with one unconscious monarch who would definitely be missed. I didn't know him well enough to impersonate him, and we were all certain Emerald Monarch would test anybody looking like him after we had already used that trick once. We needed to get Crimson Monarch to agree to both Contracts quickly.

"I still get to handle 'negotiations,' don't I?" asked Destructor.

"Of course. I'd never go back on a promise to friend," replied Candy. "He's all yours. You have thirty minutes."

"I'll have him offering to retrieve all our stolen Memories from Arcadia by then."

He picked up Crimson Monarch and carried him off to the changing room. There followed much agonised screaming for about twenty minutes before they returned. We all watched as Crimson Monarch prostrated himself before Candy, the proud King barely more than a quivering mass of jelly at that point.

"Please, I'll do anything, just make him stop," he begged. "I can't take it anymore. There should be laws against this. This is a crime against humanity!"

"You'll do anything?" asked Candy.

"If it'll put an end to listening to his poetry, I would even swear to go to your old Keeper's Demesne and attempt to retrieve your Memories."

"Told you," said Destructor.

"I appreciate your offer, but I have most of my Memories already. I'll tell you what you can do for me."

She presented the same two Contracts. He once again agreed immediately.

After that, we only had the Autumn Court left to topple. I say 'only', but we all knew that last one would be the most difficult. They don't call themselves the Court of Fear for no reason, and it's really hard to get a one-up on their members. Ashen Monarch was certain to be expecting us.

Candy had this firm resolve in her eyes I've never seen before as she promised everything would end at the New Year revel. Maud even came back from holiday early for the final confrontation. Want to take it from there?