It had been several weeks since the moon nearly crashed into Canterlot Castle. While saving Equestria was an experience that Lyra and Bon Bon would never forget, they couldn't be content to dwell on the past. The two marefriends had to keep moving forward if they wanted to remain the most famous phone sex operators in all of Equestria. The dedication to their craft involved lots of practice and preparation.

It was evening, and the two marefriends were practicing their delivery by finding the perfect inflection for a convincing orgasm.

"Oh, Celestia!" Lyra groaned erotically, "I'm cumming!" Lyra panted and moaned with an animalistic carnality. Bon Bon hemmed and hawed over her marefriend's performance.

"What?" Lyra asked, breathlessly, "No good?"

"It was decent," Bon Bon said, "but you emphasized the hard 'C' sound in 'cumming.' Words like 'cock,' 'cunt' or 'cum' start with the 'K' sound, which is fine when you're doing dirty foreplay. The abrasive, hard 'C' is great for getting the caller's attention; but when it comes to the sensual symphony of an orchestral orgasm, you need something softer for your sexy speech."

"Such as?" Lyra asked.

"I think your delivery would sound more erotic with a slight adjustment," Bon Bon said, "Instead of the 'K' sound, try to put more emphasis on the 'um' in 'cumming.' The short 'U' sound is what helps callers reach their orgasm. 'Um' is like a roller coaster of sexiness that rises with 'U' and falls with 'M' until the callers reach their inevitable climax." With these new tips in mind, Lyra tried again.

"Oh, Celestia!" Lyra said, "I'm cumming!"

"Much better," Bon Bon said,"I felt chills; I really did! Average callers will cream themselves the instant you moan with that inflection."

They were about to go over more speech training, when they got a phone call. Bon Bon put on her hooves-free phone.

"Hello!" Bon Bon said cheerfully as she turned on her headset, "Thank you for calling Frisky Fillies; official phone sex hotline of the Royal Sisters. We serve stallions and mares of all shapes and sizes. Call in with requests or we have some surprises. We'll enact any fetish, so nothing's taboo. This is Candy Ass speaking. How may I help you?"

"Hello Candy Ass," the caller said, "I'm a stallion whose strange, sexual obsessions are the stuff of legends. My perverted fetishes are so numerous and infamous that they've been put into song. My name is Jelly. Mr. Hugh Jelly."

Bon Bon gave a small gasp when she realized the caller's identity. Having him use their services was the equivalent of a professional eater walking into your restaurant making a beeline for your buffet. Seeing the intimidated look on Bon Bon's face, Lyra felt prompted to turn on her headset and listen in to the conversation.

"Nopony, mare or stallion, has ever been able to equal my perverse desires," Hugh Jelly said, "If you can manage to titillate me to the point of orgasm through phone sex, I'll pay triple the regular rate for this call." When Hugh Jelly mentioned paying triple their regular rate, Lyra stared wide-eyed at Bon Bon, who gave a cocky smirk to mask her apprehension.

"Consider it done," Bon Bon said, trying to sound confident, "Any requests?"

"Well, since you asked," Hugh Jelly said, "are you familiar with that conservative cunt, Radiant Hope?"

Lyra and Bon Bon stared at each other in disbelief. They knew Radiant Hope's brand of bigotry only too well.

"What about her?" Bon Bon asked, trepidatiously, "Do you have an axe to grind with her, or something?"

"Oh believe me, I want to grind with her," Hugh Jelly said, "Radiant Hope's tight ass is the embodiment of sexual repression. As a moral deviant, I can't think of a better target to bathe in my cock sauce. Listening to her ramble about the moral degradation of society is music to my jelly-filled ears. Whenever she's a guest on the Howie Tern show, I like to jerk off while listening to her rant."

"So, it's safe to say you disagree with her anti-masturbation stance?" Bon Bon asked, knowingly.

"If clop is murder, then I'm the biggest serial killer Equestria's ever seen," Hugh Jelly said, boastfully, "As a rabid sex fiend, it's my duty to liberate her lackluster libido from the fetid fetters of flaccid fidelity and the mundane manacles of monogamous morality."

The longer the call went on, the more intriguing it got. Lyra and Bon Bon were eager to impress Hugh Jelly with their phone sex skills. If that involved verbally violating one of their least favorite ponies, so much the better.

"It's important that you meet my expectations," Hugh Jelly said, "In addition to including Radiant Hope, I want to hear the most vile and disgusting things imaginable. The more indecent, the harder my penis gets."

"So, you want us to humiliate Radiant Hope?" Bon Bon asked.

"Not at all," Hugh Jelly said, indignantly, "I want her to enjoy it. Humiliation is just a matter of perspective. In a perfect world, embarrassment would not exist. Neither would restraining orders or sex offender registration, for that matter."

Bon Bon was contemplating what direction she would take the call, when Lyra interrupted.

"Let me do it!" Lyra begged, "I want to do it, please!" Bon Bon smiled and graciously offered the call to Lyra, who was eager to put Radiant Hope in as many disgusting situations as possible.

"Hey, honey," Lyra said, imitating Radiant Hope's voice, "Oh Hugh, my stinky diaper is so full. I'm such a dirty foal. Will you change me? If you do, I'll suck your bottle until your special daddy milk comes out." Lyra didn't ascribe to this particular fetish, but the caller wanted it gross, so she was willing to say anything.

"Yawn," Hugh Jelly said, dismissively, "Infantilism? Really? If I wanted to jerk off to diapers, I'd go back to hiding in the bushes behind the preschool. What else you got?"

Lyra was no stranger to unorthodox forms of sex. She and Bon Bon had done some rough stuff on occasion, just to keep things interesting. Lyra had no problem with sexual experimentation, but Hugh Jelly was pushing the limits of her perversity. She racked her brain, trying desperately to think of the grossest thing imaginable.

"I start cleaning your hooves with my tongue," Lyra said, "I like the undersides, completely cleaning them of dirt. Your hooves are soon coated in a thin layer of my saliva as you rub them against my face."

"You seriously think I'd be turned on by hoof play?" Hugh Jelly said, incredulously, "That fetish is too mainstream. I'm not paying for amateur hour here. If I don't start hearing some decent kink soon, I'll take my business elsewhere."

Lyra was at a loss, when Bon Bon switched her mic back on and rejoined the conversation.

"Sir, I assure you we'll fulfill your desires," Bon Bon said, "Please hold for a moment, and we'll be right back."

Bon Bon paused for a moment without saying anything, as though she was contemplating her options. She gave the caller enough time to wonder if she was ever coming back.

Lyra stared at her marefriend as Bon Bon sat with her eyes closed and breathed through her nose. She looked like she was lost in thought.

"Hello?" Hugh Jelly said, "Are we gonna do this, or what?"

"Hang on, Hugh," Lyra said, "My partner's building up to something, I'm sure of it."

After nearly a minute of silence, Bon Bon's eyes shot open, which startled Lyra.

Without any introduction or warning, Bon Bon launched into a retelling of a famous joke that was known to be one of the most offensive, outrageous and off-putting jokes in the history of comedy.

Since she had stopped working as a comedian, Bon Bon had pushed the joke from her mind, like an unpleasant memory. But now that the caller was asking to hear the most vulgar thing imaginable, Bon Bon's memories of the joke resurfaced.

The bit was a timeless joke that was known in comedy circles throughout Equestria by its simple punchline, 'The Aristocrats.'

Ponies who tells jokes for a living will eventually hear this particular joke in one form or another. Those who aren't professional comedians have probably never heard of it. It's like a secret hoofshake for comics, who try to outdo each other with each retelling. This joke is rarely, if ever, told to general audiences. It's mainly passed back and forth amongst comics who want to shock, impress or otherwise entertain their peers.

Lyra had never heard the joke before. Not only that, she hadn't heard of the joke. Bon Bon had failed to mention it before, as though she thought her marefriend would think less of her for knowing such a tasteless and filthy joke.

Bon Bon was counting on the Aristocrats being unfamiliar to Hugh Jelly as well.

Every comic tells the joke differently and puts their own little flourishes in it and Bon Bon was no exception. It's like the joke was a famous piece of jazz music and the comedians were musicians adding their own riffs, so the joke was slightly different with each telling.

The joke itself wasn't so special. It was more of a non-joke. It became a favorite of comedians because it's the ultimate anti-joke. The comedy is all in the delivery. The idea is, if comedians can tell this joke well, they can tell any joke well. If they can amuse fellow jaded comedians with this, then they could amuse just about anypony.

The premise of the joke is basic. A family visits a talent agent hoping to break into show business. The talent agent asks about the nature of the family's act, so the family proceeds to demonstrate.

This takes us to the "freestyle" part of the joke, although it's really more like porn, because the family starts screwing each other in every possible way. Even the family dog gets in on the fun.

The point of the joke is to be as disgusting and degenerate as possible, with everyone in the family going down on each other and exchanging bodily fluids.

Bowel movements, urine, semen, snot, spittle, sweat. Gallons of various bodily excretions are produced by the family during the joke. Coming in and out of every orifice until the family collapses into a pile from sexual exhaustion.

At the ultimate climax, the talent agent addresses the family.

"Well, that was an interesting act," the talent agent says, "What do you call yourselves?"

At this moment, the family all leaps up proudly from the pile of shit, piss, semen, vomit and sweat. They take a great big bow and say, 'The Aristocrats!'

Lyra stared fascinated at Bon Bon, who seemed to have gone into some sort of comedic trance. It was as though her brain wasn't processing the things she was saying on a conscious level. Bon Bon ignored the outside world and focused on delivering the joke with conviction and perfect comedic timing. She talked without a filter as she gave her variation of the Aristocrats.

"Okay," Bon Bon said, "A talent agent is sitting in his office. You walk in with your wife, Radiant Hope, a beautiful blonde-maned mare with a gleaming white coat. Behind her are your two kids, your mother and the beloved family dog, Rags. The talent agent looks at your family and asks, "So, what kind of an act do you do?"

You start your act by having Radiant Hope coat your body in a layer of blueberry jelly from the neck down. Once you're completely covered, you set a black sack down in the middle of the floor.

Opening the sack, you pull out a limp, bloody, blue colt fetus and lay the dead foal on its back, with its head facing towards you. You also make sure to splay its arms and legs out, nailing them into the the wooden floor of the talent agent's office, in order to keep the body from sliding around.

You then take a large carving knife out of the sack and slit the unborn foal's chest down the middle, from neck to groin. Sliding your fore-hooves inside, you easily crack its tiny ribcage as a small pool of blood forms around the body.

Leaning your head down, you start licking the sides of the chest cavity as you would a labia; paying careful attention to the bloody folds as you lick up and down the rib bones and suck on its underdeveloped organs.

Speaking of underdeveloped organs, next you move up to the fetal colt's penis and proceed to gently nibble and suck on it like a clitoris. You tug the limp dick gently and circle your tongue around it ever so slowly.

By now, a ring of blood has formed around your mouth from playing with the dead fetus. You're now fully aroused and your jelly-covered cock is throbbing for release. Raising your fore-hoof above the fetus, you stomp hard on its head, crushing its skull like a rotten cantaloupe. You lift your hoof and look at the bloody red stain where there was once a face.

Rags, your beloved family dog, runs up behind you and starts licking up the brain and skull bits in between your hind legs. While Rags is busy eating the jellied pulps that were once the colt's eyes, you lean down over the fetus and bite its dick off and start chewing on it like bubble gum. As blood pools from the colt's mutilated crotch, you start humping its open chest cavity with your jelly-coated cock.

The smell given off by your stallion musk is giving Rags a massive boner. His thick doggie knot throbs as he continues to feast on the brains. Wanting to help your pent-up pooch, your wife bends the dog's cock back and starts giving him a blowjob.

After deep-throating the dog for several minutes, Rags growls in pleasure as he cums in Radiant Hope's mouth. She chokes and coughs as she swallows the dog's semen. The copious amounts of splooge starts to bubble up in her mouth and she gags, spilling some of the seed onto the floor.

The act of ejaculating causes Rags to void his bowels. With an involuntary shudder, the dog sprays Radiant Hope's face with explosive diarrhea. The thick stream of watery brown shit clings to her face and mane as she snorts some out her nose.

Rags had a bad case of intestinal parasites, so in addition to feces, Radiant Hope's face is covered with dozens of wriggling white worms; each one of them roughly about the size of a grain of rice.

Rags' stomach rumbles and your wife can tell he isn't finished. Radiant Hope leans forward and places her cum-stained lips over your dog's anus, eager to drink deeply from his brown river. Rags howls in pain as his second load of diarrhea fills Radiant Hope's mouth. She swallows all of your pet's watery waste before sticking her tongue inside to give Rags a rimjob and lick up any fecal traces she may have missed.

Once she's thoroughly slicked his sphincter with spit, Rags turns around and looks at Radiant Hope. The wriggling parasites tickle her nose and she sneezes on your dog, spraying his face with snot.

With your wife's boogers covering his face, Rags leans forward and proceeds to lick the shit off Radiant Hope. He then affectionately uses his tongue to lick up the snot dripping from her nose, which causes Radiant Hope to smile. She reveals her shit-stained teeth, crawling with intestinal parasites.

By this time, you've nearly reached your limit with the corpse. With a loud gulp, you swallow the unborn foal's miniscule mangled member. You then moan loudly as you dump a steaming load of testicle tartar into the dead colt's chest cavity. You fill the fetus up like a fancy pastry, with your excess cream spilling over the sides and squirting out the colt's open neck hole.

At this point, your mentally-retarded son, affectionately named Short Bus, starts screwing your 95-year-old mother doggy style. Short Bus is a large yellow earth pony with an overactive pituitary gland. He also has to wear a bright red helmet to prevent self-inflicted injuries.

Your mother, Peach Preserve, is an old peach-colored earth pony with a grey mane. Her pussy is like a warm grilled cheese sandwich; dry and crusty on the outside, but with a gooey and sticky center. Your mother has an uncontrollable bladder. As she became aroused, she started pissing all over Short Bus's crotch and legs. Your mom's various medical conditions caused her to discharge a viscous, mucus-like substance into her urine. Fortunately for your son, her sticky pee acted as a perfectly serviceable lube.

Short Bus laughs stupidly and drools all over his grandmother's backside while humping her pussy from behind. Rags, who's gotten stiff a second time, sets his sights on Short Bus' sphincter. Mounting your son from behind, Rags forms a train and sodomizes Short Bus' exhaust pipe with his doggie dong. The sensation of being anally raped was so shocking that it caused your son to spray chunky projectile vomit all over Peach Preserves' back. In spite of the pain, the anal rape did not deter Short Bus from his task. He continued to rail on your mother's mucousy muff, even after Rags slipped his doggie knot passed your son's sphincter.

Rags howled as he sprayed putrid puppy paste from his canine custard cannon into Short Bus's shit shaft. The sensation was too much for your son, who ejaculated inside your mother's malodorous mound. Loud, noisy queefs erupt from Peach Preserves' prehistoric pussy and echo throughout the talent agent's office. Her vaginal fart sounds became wetter as Short Bus' excess foal fondue started spraying out of Peach Preserves' putrid pie.

At this point, the only member of the family who had yet to join the act was your quadriplegic daughter. She has a copper-colored coat and a brown mane. She also has no arms or legs; only stumps. The neighborhood children pick on her because she can't stand up for herself. She may not be able to give a hoofjob, but she makes up for it by giving great head. You named her Penny, because all she does most of the time is lie on the ground and is considered practically worthless.

Wanting to be part of the act, Penny begins writhing in excitement, while her little pussy squirts juices everywhere. She vocalizes her delight, making these cute and innocent coos and squeaks. In addition to being a quadriplegic, Penny has cerebral palsy. She squirms in her red wagon and watches her family perform the act without her.

Suddenly, Penny starts foaming at the mouth and shaking wildly. She's having a seizure, which greatly displeases you and your wife. Penny always had a hard time following the routine, so she was rarely able to contribute more than the occasional unintentional series of loud queefs and farts. Today however, you needed to bring your 'A' game if you wanted to impress the talent agent, so you found a way for your daughter to play a more pivotal role in the act.

"If you're gonna act like a vibrator," Radiant Hope said curtly, "then we'll treat you like a vibrator!" Your wife then lays on her back and spreads her haunches wide. Her improvisational skills are what caused you to fall in love with Radiant Hope in the first place.

You lift your still-convulsing daughter out of her red wagon and set her down in front of her mother. Taking careful aim, you shove Penny's head into Radiant Hope's puffy pussy.

Your wife's belly starts swelling as Penny returns to the womb that carried her misshapen body for nearly a year. Penny's torso is still shaking as you shove half of her inside her mother.

"Oh yes!" Radiant Hope screams in orgasmic delight, "That feels good, Penny, you stupid, quivering queef queen! Keep shaking for mama!"

Penny's lower half was protruding out of your wife's pussy, making it look like your wife was giving birth to a log of shit. Being scared of the dark, your daughter pissed herself in fear. Her urine sprays your cock, making it nice and slick.

Seeing Penny's underage vagina is too tempting to pass up, so you shove your cock inside her. Each thrust tears her accordion-like folds a little more, coating your cock in her blood. Each push sends your daughter deeper inside her mother's womb.

Radiant Hope groans in discomfort as her stomach swells from Penny's painful unbirth. You've achieved a feat few had thought possible. They said it was just a myth, but you proved that it was possible to bang your wife and daughter's twats simultaneously. The cunt-ception tightly grips your shaft as you pump in and out of your wife and daughter.

The speed of your thrusts increase as you force yourself towards your second orgasm. The pussy lips of your wife and daughter stroke your stallionhood until you cock head explodes, filling Penny's underdeveloped womb with semen. You're not concerned with her getting pregnant. Her pussy is too young and too stupid to know how to make a foal.

Penny's pussy grips your cock so tight that when you pull out of Radiant Hope, you pull your daughter out as well. Cum and blood oozes from Penny's snatch as she gasps for breath. Her seizure is over, but she's still twitching from shock. Radiant Hope's sticky vaginal secretions and blood coat Penny's deformed body. Your wife pauses to catch her breath while playing with her gaping goo gash. She shudders as a quart of dark blood spews from her loose cooze.

Meanwhile, Peach Preserves lays on her back while your idiot son sits on her face. Her nose is buried in Short Bus' bloody crack. His retarded rectum is ruined after the reaming he received from Rags. Your son gives a loud fart before he expels his shit, blood and Rags' canine cum into your mother's mouth.

While this is going on, Rags is humping Peach Preserves' messy meat flaps, enjoying the feeling of sloppy seconds as your son's jizz flows from her Cretaceous cunt. While still sitting and shitting on your mother's face, Short Bus starts peeing on Rags. The dog opens his mouth and happily gulps down the retard's urine.

While using your mother's tongue as toilet paper, Short Bus reveals his deepest secret.

"Dad, I'm gay," Short Bus said.

Radiant Hope overhears this and is infuriated, just like any other good mother would be.

"No son of mine is a queer!" Radiant Hope shouts, "I will beat the gay right out of your ass!"

Radiant Hope shakily marches over to her son with blood still leaking out of her pussy. She yanks Short Bus off of your mother before she starts mercilessly beating him. Your retarded gay son's helmet does little to protect him from her wrath as she hits him repeatedly in the nose, smashing it flat. She holds her fore-hooves over his throat and starts choking him until his face turns blue. Before Short Bus can pass out, Radiant Hope releases him, but not before giving him a swift kick in the balls.

"Have you learned your lesson, faggot?" Radiant Hope asks.

"Yes, Mom," Short Bus said, weakly, while shielding his nuts with his fore-hooves.

"Good, now on with the show!" Radiant Hope commanded, happily, "Bend over so your father can sodomize you."

Obeying his mother's commands, Short Bus lifts his blood and shit-covered body and presents his ass to you. Your son lets out a painful scream as you spear his rear. Rags' doggie dick may have loosened your son's sphincter, but he still wasn't prepared for the girth of your jellied javelin. You start mercilessly reaming his rectum, while giving him a reach around. So there you are, covered in shit, blood and jelly as you sodomize your retarded son while jerking him off.

We're nearing the finale now. Peach Preserve vomits up Short Bus' bloody, cum-covered shit onto her chest and rubs it all over her body as she climaxes. Her sticky Jurassic jizz squirts onto Rags like crazy glue.

After smelling your mother's expired equine ejaculate, Rags pukes onto her chest, which mingles with her own vomit. Rags then pulls out of Peach Preserves' decrepit dick dugout and runs over to Penny so he can start humping her face.

Radiant Hope walks over to your mother and proceeds to flip Peach Preserves onto her stomach. You watch as your wife violently shoves her fore-hoof up your mother's ass.

Radiant Hope then inserts a toaster into her stretched snatch and sticks two slices of bread into it before turning it on. The heat is excruciating, causing her pussy lips to blister; but your wife's a professional and is willing to make any sacrifice for the act.

Short Bus starts sobbing, with blood pouring from his shattered nose as your ram your turgid horse pole balls deep into his ass. Watching your wife mercilessly hoof your mother's ass reminds you of your honeymoon.

Rags barks proudly as he cums down Penny's throat. The stupid filly thinks the dog's dick is her feeding tube and sucks happily on her puppy protein shake. Penny hiccups as her nose blows a large canine cum bubble.

After multiple orgasms, Rags' balls are now thoroughly drained. He pulls out of Penny's mouth and walks over to the dead fetus and starts lapping your semen out of the colt's open chest cavity. Once he's had his fill, Rags wanders over to a pool of vomit and starts rolling in it.

You can smell the bread browning in your wife's hot box and know that you're running out of time. Holding your son's flanks between your hooves, you pump back and forth with blistering speed as you desperately try to cum.

At the last second, you pull out of your son's ass and ejaculate into the air, just as the toast pops out of the toaster embedded in Radiant Hope's singed snatch.

Two shots of your jizz travel in an arc and hits the toast mid-air. Your cum coats both pieces of bread on one side. The jizz-drenched toast hangs in the air for a moment before falling towards the ground.

For a moment, the room goes silent and you watch the bread in breathless anticipation. You wonder whether or not the toast will land cum side up. It's details like this that make or break your act. Your family gasps when the two pieces of toast land on Penny's back, cum side up. She farts in surprise as you breathe a sigh of relief.

Radiant Hope removes the red-hot toaster from her pussy and shoves it inside your mother's gaping asshole. Your wife then walks next to Penny as you approach your daughter's other side.You and Radiant Hope each take one of the cum-drizzles pieces of toast off of your daughter's back and take a big bite.

After you and Radiant Hope finish eating the spunk-splattered toast, Short Bus, Peach Preserves and Rags join the rest of the family on a line.Your entire family is panting heavily and shaking. Everyone, including Rags, is covered in a mix of blood, sweat, snot, shit, piss, puke, cum, vaginal secretions and jelly. You all look at the talent agent and take a bow; all except your daughter, who's already as low to the ground as she can get.

"Well, that was an interesting act," the talent agent says, "What do you call yourselves?"

At this moment, you and Radiant Hope smile proudly and say, "The Aristocrats!"

Everything seemed to go by in slow motion for Bon Bon as she gave her version of the Aristocrats. Her heart was pounding in her chest as she concluded the joke.

Bon Bon blinked her eyes as though she was coming out of a comedy-induced trance. She listened for Hugh's voice on the other line. All Bon Bon could hear was obscene heavy breathing. Her caller gasped for air before he spoke.

"I came everywhere," Hugh Jelly said, while basking in his afterglow, "and it was glorious."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Bon Bon said sweetly, "Please consider us for your next ejaculation."

"Oh I will!" Hugh Jelly said, emphatically, "You just earned yourself a regular customer!"

After the caller had hung up the phone, Bon Bon turned to Lyra and smiled. Her accomplished grin soon faded when Bon Bon saw that Lyra was lying still on the ground.

Bon Bon had been so focused on telling the joke that she had ignored the world around her. She didn't realize what effect her version of the Aristocrats would have on her marefriend.

Lyra had found the joke so hilarious that she laughed herself into a coma. She lay on the ground with her eyes closed and her mouth formed into a dopey grin. Bon Bon was legitimately scared now.

"What have I done?!" Bon Bon shouted as she cradled Lyra's limp, smiling body. Dragging her marefriend outside and loading her into a cart, Bon Bon ran as fast as she could to Ponyville General.

Lyra lay in a hospital bed while being hooked up to machines that monitored her vital signs. Bon Bon never left her marefriend's side. She stoked Lyra's mane and tried to communicate with her.

"I'm sorry," Bon Bon said anguished, "I'm so sorry. The Aristocrats was never intended for general audiences. I should never have exposed you to it."

Lyra lay there with her eyes closed and made no response. Bon Bon started to fear that she'd never hear her marefriend's voice again.

"Please say something!" Bon Bon said desperately, "Tell me about your human theories! Anything!"

Her pleas were met with Lyra's stoney silence. Bon Bon was about to slip into despair, when she had one last desperate idea. She would attempt to rouse Lyra from her coma through sexy talk.

"The nectar from your minty rosebud tastes exquisite," Bon Bon whispered seductively into Lyra's ear, "Your petals are so puffy and wet. I want you to cum for me."

Lyra's eyes twitched as her nethers began to grow moist from the thought of her marefriend's touch.

"Bon Bon," Lyra muttered weakly, "I'm cuuuummmmming..."

Lyra made sure to emphasize the short 'U' sound. Bon Bon's face lit up as she saw the effect her words were having. She tried tried to further motivate her marefriend.

"Yes, cum for me, Lyra!" Bon Bon said louder as tears filled her eyes, "Let me drink deeply from your sweet pussy punch!"

Lyra's medical equipment was beeping frantically as her heart rate increased. She was experiencing an unconscious orgasm.

"I'm cumming!" Lyra shouted as her dam broke and she soaked her bedsheets with mare lube. Slowly, Lyra opened her eyes and looked at Bon Bon, who was crying with joy. Lyra smiled weakly at her marefriend.

"I had the craziest wet dream," Lyra said, "and you were in it." Bon Bon threw her arms around Lyra and hugged her. After looking around her hospital room, Lyra looked slightly concerned at her marefriend.

"How long have I been out?" Lyra asked. An earth pony nurse had heard the recent beeping from the equipment and came in to check on the patient. She walked in and smiled when she saw that Lyra was awake. The nurse stood at the doorway and listened to Lyra and Bon Bon talk.

"You were unconscious all day," Bon Bon said, "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I remember the dog filling Radiant Hope's mouth with diarrhea," Lyra said, "After that though, everything became a blur."

The nurse's face grew pale and she slowly backed out of the room and pretended that she hadn't heard anything.

"I thought that I was going to die laughing from that joke," Lyra said smiling.

"You nearly did," Bon Bon said cautiously, "The Aristocrats is too dangerous for mainstream audiences. I should never have told it while you were there."

"Don't worry about me," Lyra said, "I'll be fine. What about the caller? Did you impress Hugh Jelly?"

"I did," Bon Bon said, reluctantly, "but it wasn't worth almost losing you..."

There was an uncomfortable pause. Lyra looked at Bon Bon.

"What are you saying?" Lyra asked.

Later that evening, Chatterbox was signing paperwork in her office, when there was a knock at her door.

"Come in," Chatterbox said in her naturally sexy voice. Lyra and Bon Bon walked inside her office and stood in front of her desk.

"I wanted to thank you for giving us a job at Frisky Fillies," Bon Bon said, "Unfortunately, Lyra and I need to quit. The rigors of the job have put a strain on our relationship."

Chatterbox stared at Lyra and Bon Bon. She looked each of them in the eye before she smiled.

"I completely understand," Chatterbox said, "Most ponies only take this job when they're desperate for money. This profession has an abnormally high turnover rate. Quite frankly, you two have stuck around longer than most phone sex operators."

"So, you're not mad that we're leaving?" Lyra asked.

"Mad? Never!" Chatterbox said, "I'll certainly be sad to see you go, though. Candy Ass and G-String have become the unofficial voices of Frisky Fillies. Your interview with Howie Tern really helped put us on the map and generated loads of new business. Phone sex just won't be the same without you two."

"It's not like we're never coming back," Bon Bon said, "We're just going to take a break while we pursue other career paths."

After thanking Chatterbox again and giving her a goodbye hug, Lyra and Bon Bon left Frisky Fillies headquarters. The two marefriends went home to look for their next vocation.

Chatterbox returned to her desk and let out a sigh. She pulled out Lyra and Bon Bon's employment records. Their portfolios were thick from caller feedback and other notes. Chatterbox was about fill out the necessary paperwork for their resignation, when she received a phone call. The mare on the other line sounded intoxicated.

"Hallo?" the tipsy mare said, "It this Ponyville Liquor Delivery? I'd like to place two of my regular orders, and an additional case of spiced apple cider." Chatterbox was about to hang up, when she heard a filly's voice speak in an annoyed whisper.

"No, Mom, this is Frisky Fillies, remember?" the filly said to the drunk, "Just read from the script like I told you."

"I'm sorry Pinshy," the mare said as she started to cry, "Mama's trying, but the words keep jumping around on the paper."

"Oh, never mind," the filly said as she took the phone away from her mother. Chatterbox was curious as to where this was going.

"Hello, Chatterbox?" the filly said, "My name's Berry Pinch. You don't know me, but my mother works at Ponyville's cryobank. I have a proposal for you which I feel will be mutually beneficial."

It had been one week since Bon Bon had taken Hugh Jelly's phone call. After quitting Frisky Fillies, the two marefriends were finally getting used to sleeping at night again.

Lyra was watching the evening news while Bon Bon made calls in another room as she searched for their next job.

"And in business news, the stock price isn't the only thing rising at Ponyville's cryobank these days," Erin Bro-nett said, "The bank's brain trust, Berry Punch, recently struck a deal with the phone sex service Frisky Fillies. A private hotline has been installed in each of the sample collection booths. Cocks and stocks are up, as the cryobank recently reported the most successful quarter they've seen in years. Productivity is at an all-time high, and the baby gravy train shows no signs of slowing down."

"Well, good for them," Lyra said as she turned off the television. At that moment, Bon Bon entered the room with an excited look on her face.

"Good news, Lyra," Bon Bon said, "I've found our next job!"

"Don't tell me," Lyra said, dubiously, "You signed us up to work at an exotic bakery; but due to a typo in the ad, we'll actually be working in an erotic bakery and spend the next several months making genitalia-shaped cakes."

"No, Ms. Smartypants," Bon Bon said, "I figured we could use our descriptive talents to entertain instead of arouse. I got us a job at Ponyville Library. We'll run the weekly Storytime Corner, reading books to children."

"Oh," Lyra said surprised, "That actually sounds like fun. Okay. Let's do it!"