Prelude

A couple of months went by and the only thing of significants was trying to find Jackie after she didn't come back from the Rodeo in Canterlot. We searched all over the country looking for her, hoping she wasn't held hostage somewhere. We finally found her working at a cherry farm in Dodge Junction. When Luna and I confronted her on why she didn't come back, she told us how she didn't receive a single blue ribbon and by extent no prize money to pay for the town hall repairs.

This got me pissed off at the mayor for making my wife think she needed to do something like that. Despite my anger, Luna and I comforted Jackie saying that she was and always will be, the best country mare in all of Equestria. Besides that, I told her I would dip into the hoard and pay for the damages to the town hall. This made her feel a lot better and she agreed to come home.

About a week later after that incident, we got ready for the busiest time for the farm. Cider season. Which is where we find ourselves now.

4 o'clock in the morning. Entrance to the farm. Joe's Pov.

" It's way too fucking early for this." I was trudging a large wagon to where the little stand was with Big Mac. On the other side of the fence was a line of tents that stretched for at least a mile. Now I've seen people camp out in a line for many things, concerts, movies, sporting events, but seeing this for apple cider? Someone must be shrooming.

" Well the way things have been going the last couple of years, we need to get an early start on making the product." Mac placed a good twenty or so barrels by the stand and unhitched himself from the wagon. " Although, with that technique of yours, we might be able to sell more than we usually do in a day."

" It's true, my skills have made this place into a well-oiled machine." I flexed my right bicep as I finished setting up the machine.

" I believe my daughter teaching you the ropes has more to do with it than your skills." Pear came up the road with Bright and Applebloom and was berating my skills as a farmer. " Though I will give you props for that ' Apple slam' technique you came up with."

" Thanks, Ma." I went over to the stand with a keg press attached just as it was becoming first light. As I put in the first keg of cider, I heard the flapping of wings off in the distance. When I looked up from below the stand, I saw Rainbow dragging Fluttershy through the air, heading straight for the stand. I walked over to the front to greet them. " Did you two come here for the cider, or you just want to see me?"

Rainbow was the first to answer. " We came for the cider." She then spotted the huge line of tents along the fence and her jaw dropped. " Where did these come from?" As if on cue, the first tent unzipped and Pinkie came out of the flap. " Pinkie! What are you doing?"

" Isn't it great! I couldn't sleep last night so I had this great idea to camp out here last night, so I told a few other ponies about it, and they thought it was a great idea too, so now it's like a big sleepover, Whoo Hoo!" Certainly explains the tent train. " Hey Joey, where's Applejack and Luna? I thought they would be out here with you."

" They'll be here after a few hours, we want to make sure the boys are getting their sleep." I looked out over the tents and I got a nasty idea. " Wait here a moment ladies." I went over to the wagon and grabbed the megaphone. I then went back to the stand and took a deep breath. " GOOOOOODDD MORNING PONYVILLE!" The announcement was so loud and so long, everyone got out of their tents, holding their heads to silence the ringing. " Cider season, has begun!" I turned over to Dash and Fluttershy. " Ya'll best get in line, don't want no one cutting in line." Fluttershy flew to the back of the line while Dash sped off before the line could get any longer.

" Was that at all necessary son."

" Any chance to quote a movie, I'm gonna take it Bright." I put the megaphone away as I greeted Pinkie as our first customer.

She brought out a huge sack of bits and dumped them into the cash box. Before AB could dispense any cider, I stopped her from giving out one drop. " Hey! What gives?"

" New policy, only one cup of cider, per day." I gave her back all her cash with the exception of the two bits required for a cup. The reason for the policy, too many ponies would complain about not getting any cider due to some ponies ordering great quantities at once. AB poured a cup of cider and I handed it to Pinkie. " Thank you for your business, enjoy your beverage." She took the cup and gulped the whole thing down in three seconds. She was in a state of complete bliss as the frothy beverage continued down her gullet. " Next!"

Nineteen kegs of cider later.

It was now the middle of the afternoon and the last of the ponies were now in the front of the line including Dash and Flutters. I gave Fluttershy her mug of cider just as Dash came for her mug. Just as AB pulled the tab and nothing happened, Dash started to tear up. " Wwwwwwhhhhhyyyyy!?" As she rolled around on the ground crying about not being able to get any cider, I pulled out the last keg from under the stall.

" Looking for this?" I held the keg in one hand while I brought out six empty mugs for the rest of us. I went ahead and poured a mug for dash and she swiped it from my hands. She drank the cider as if she hadn't drunk anything for days, savoring the precious nectar that is the Apple family cider. I went and poured cider for the rest of us while adding some Jack Daniels to mine. " Job well done." I put the mug to my lips and chugged the delicious liquid down my throat. Suddenly, I heard a whistle down the road. " What the hell?"

A large machine was coming down the road, whistling and chugging up the road. When it got closer, the thing looked like a combination of a steam locomotive, and an old-time auto-mobile with a cowcatcher at the front. The behemoth slowed to a halt in front of the gate while bending the fence post. " Hey, get this damn thing off my fence!"

The occupants of the vehicle, a pair of unicorn stallions dressed like salesmen from the twenty's, got out of their seat and addressed us. " So sorry my good stallion, one second." His horn glowed green and the vehicle moved back from the fence. " There, all better." He and the other pony got off the machine and started a little song.

" Well, lookie what we got here brother of mine. It's the same thing in every town." The one without the mustache went over to Berry. " Ponies with thirsty throats, dry tongues and not a drop of cider to be found." Time to stop the madness. " Maybe they're unaware-"

" Stop that, stop that. There'll be no singing while I'm around." I went over to the two unicorns and addressed my concerns. " Now explain why you drove this damn thing all the way down here before I call my dog."

This time the one with the mustache spoke." Well, my bipedal friend, we are the renowned, Flim-Flam Brothers. And this is the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000, a revolution in cider making. And we've come all this way to offer our services to provide all the cider one could drink."

" That sounds nice, except we already served the masses and still have some cider to spare. Though tell me, what would you have done if we agreed to your help?"

" With our machine, it can triple harvest production and make cider at an incredible rate. If you allow us, we'll demonstrate what it can do." I gave them permission to use one tree to demonstrate their contraption. Their horns glowed again and the machine's hose hovered over the tree and started sucking up all the apples. " Once the apples are harvested, they go through quality inspection." We walked over to a viewing port on the machine to see it sort through the apples. Those that didn't make the cut were rejected. " Once the apples that passed inspection are processed, the head up to the juicer, and finally into a mug." Flam went over to the spigot on the machine and poured a mug of cider. " Here, the first one is on the house."

I took the offered mug and took a sip. " It tastes like a bastardized version of our cider." This did not go well with the two sales ponies.

" What would an ape, like yourself know anything about it? Your just some farming oaf these ponies took pity on and gave you a job!" The masses let out a huge gasp as they witnessed their prince being insulted.

I was about to show him the error of their ways until AB came up and did it for me. " Hey, you leave my brother-in-law alone! He was the reason why we were able to give everypony here a cup of cider, instead of having to make a good majority wait until tomorrow."

" So, you believe your brother-in-law can beat our machine?"

" He and our family can whoop that machines butt into next week! I bet the farm on it!" What!?

" Hold on there Applebloom, let's not jump to-"

" It's a deal!" Both brothers accepted Bloom's impromptu deal.

"The first one to make the most cider in an hour wins. We'll see you tomorrow." They both got back in their mobile bootleg operation and sped off down the road.

When the two Jackass' were gone, I grabbed Applebloom by the tail and headed for the house. " Guy's I'll be right back, Applebloom needs to tell her nephews how bad she screwed up." I carried her to the house by the tail while she squirmed. I made it to the house and went through the door. " Jackie. Lulu, you home?"

" In the dining room honey!" I went over to the sound of Jackie's voice to find both her and Luna giving Orion and Jack their lunch. When she saw me, her eyes bulged as she saw Applebloom being carried upside-down. " What in tarnation are you doing with Applebloom?"

I put AB down on the table and crossed my arms. " Go on Bloom, tell them what happened!" Bloom told the story to both my wives how she made a deal on how if we didn't beat the Flim-Flam Brothers, we would lose the farm.

After the explanation, Luna spoke her two-cents. " Why would you make such a foolish deal Applebloom?"

" When they insulted Joe, I just couldn't stand it. So I challenged them to a competition. I'm sorry." She started to tear up as the situation fully slapped her across the face.

I gave her a one-armed hug and tussled her hair. " First off, there is no way in all the nine realms that I would lose to that hunk of scrap metal. Second of all, even if I were to somehow lose. There is no way they would get the farm since we didn't agree to it on paper, or shake on it." I put Bloom down and went over to my wives. " Listen, I'm going to get some help for tomorrow, so I'll see you four sometime before dinner." I gave a kiss to each of my son's heads, and one on the lips for each of my wives. " Hopefully, we can resolve this before it gets out of hand." I left out the door, and straight for Herot.

The next day.

I stood at the entrance to the farm with three teams of Ghost warriors to my back, my wives and sons to my left, our friends and family to my right, and an audience all around us, waiting for the brothers to show up. After another five minutes, the competition arrived. They strolled up in their machine with smug grins that later turned to looks of shock when they saw Luna by my side. " About time you showed up, I was beginning to think you weren't gonna show."

They quickly got off their machine and aimed their horns at me, ready to attack. Flim, or Flam I can't remember who's who decided to speak for them both. " Step away from our Princess monster." We all looked at them as if they've gone insane. " Princess, if you step away from the beast, we can-"

Luna had enough of this crap, so she decided to turn up the volume. " Speak one more ill word of my husband, and I will throw you both in the lowest pit of Herot's dungeon!" The two reeled back from her outburst and backpedaled to their vehicle.

Once they got over their fear, the one with the mustache spoke up. " This monstrosity is your husband?"

" I am also her husband." I put an arm around Jackie while Luna draped a wing over her barrel. " Which makes me, your prince." I never like to play the ' I'm royal' card but for these two, yeah they need to know who they're dealing with. " And since you challenged your king to a contest, I get to come up with the stakes." The two con-artists were now shaking in fear of what I might call to the table. " First off, the farm stays the property of the Apples, regardless of who wins. Second, if, for any inconceivable way you two win with that monstrosity, then we'll build a contract so you two can become employees to the farm and get a fair wage. If you win and don't want to be employed, then you can take a third of the profits from the cider your machine has made."

" A third!? I think we should get at least-"

" However!" The one without the mustache went quiet. " When not if, when we win, I'm gonna take that hunk of junk and tear it apart. Bolt. By. Bolt!" The twins started shaking again as the new terms were put in place.

Finally, they gathered what courage they had left and answered me. " We accept the terms."

" Excellent, we'll start in five minutes." I went over to my warriors and addressed them to give out their jobs. " Bloodhounds!" A group of five Diamond Dogs that resembled a bloodhound straightened to listen to my orders. " I want you on quality control with Granny. Rarity! You think you can help?"

" Any chance to help a friend in need darling." She went over to quality control with Granny and my warriors to make sure we use the best apples in the bushel.

" Good to hear. Greyhounds!" The next group of warriors to come up were lean with muscular legs, only four in this group. " I want you four to help Big Mac with the apple-press. You'll have a fifteen-minute shift to run the wheel, while the rest will switch the barrels for the cider. Dash, Twi, wanna give them a hand?"

" I can help with the barrels. Dash, think you can run the wheel?"

" In my sleep." She rubbed her chest with her hoof with a cocky grin on her face. She then proceeded to the wheel with Twi and the Greyhounds.

" We'll see. Huskies! Front and center!" The last group of Warriors came up to me. The group consisted of twenty of my strongest and well-built warriors that had the resemblance of Siberian Huskies. " While Jackie and I take care of the trees, I want ten of you to bring the baskets of apples to the bloodhounds. I want the other half to stack the barrels of cider, pyramid style." They went over to their designated areas and waited for the signal to start. I went over to Luna and the boys for one final job assignment.

" What shall the boys and I do?" She cradled the boys in her wings while she walked up to me, giving a slight sway to her hips.

I kissed her and the boys on the head when I reached them and looked her in the eye. " You, are going to join me and Jackie in getting the apples out of the trees, while Pear watches over the pups." At that moment, Pear came over to take the young ones from Luna and went over to Bright and my father who decided they were going to watch from the sidelines.

I went over with Luna to the center of our side of our team and cleared my throat. " Alright, listen up!" Everyone gave me their full attention. " I know that the farm isn't on the chopping block, however, its reputation is." A few of the warriors and the Apple family started to get pumped during the speech. " We are going to show the world that no bucket of bolts can ever match up to the hard work and dedication that we put in every day. That a machine will never be as good as a farmer's hands, hoofs, or claws. Now, let's go out there and show those P.T.Barnum wannabes, whos method of cider making is the best." At that, all my Warriors chanted in unison.

" Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!"

The mayor came over to us after their chant. " Joe, we're ready to begin."

" Excellent." My wives and I went over to the trees that needed to have their apples taken. " Start the clock when the music starts alright!" The mayor gave me a wave indicating that she heard me. I gave a confirming nod to my wives as I put some magic in the air to put all of us in the mood to work hard. " Alright, let's do this with grit, sweat, and love." With that, I switched on the song and the clock started.

https://youtu.be/oQSBcTm7CRM

Once the music started, I rose up forty feet in the air and then dived down onto the ground with the force of a blockbuster bomb. The shock spread to fifty trees, letting the fruit fall into the baskets below. Once the fruit went in the baskets, Bloom and the Huskies brought them over to Granny, Rarity, and the Bloodhounds where the good apples proceeded to the press. Once the apples made it to the press, the Greyhound team ran with either Dash or Mac, spewing cider at nearly the speed of a fire-hose, straight into the barrel. Once the barrel filled to the brim, Twilight sealed it and handed it to the other half of the Husky team, where they stacked them in an open part of the farm.

Within Two-minutes, we had two-dozen barrels of cider on our side, compared to the machines five barrels. We had this in the bag. " Keep up the good work everyone, these guys don't have a chance!"

Flim's POV

We couldn't believe our eyes, twenty-four barrels in two-minutes to our three. This was not good, for our machine or reputation. We needed a quicker way to make cider. " Brother, we need to increase the power or we're going to be the laughing stock of the entire town!"

" I concur, crank it up a notch." We then increased the power on the suction and the hose started sucking up the trees as well as the apples. Unfortunately, all this did was slow our production as all the apples we harvested were crushed or the machine just went through the entire tree. " Uh, this isn't helping."

I had to think fast or else our hard work will be destroyed. " Quick, switch off the quality control!" Flam switched off the quality control and our machine started spitting out barrels like it was nobody's business. Slowly but surely, we were catching up.

Joe's POV

We were neck and neck on this now. With only five minutes to go, I started rising higher and dropping faster, giving us a wider range to work with, though I had to be careful not to cause any splits within the earth. As the time got closer and closer to the end, I started to slow down once I saw what the brothers were doing to get more barrels out. No need to waste energy on a sure thing.

" Time's up!" We all stopped when the timer ran out and the last barrel was stacked and ready to be counted. " I'll tally up the barrels." The mayor went over to our stack first and started counting how many we had. While she was doing that, I went over to the audience and headed for my boys.

" Did you boys behave for Mom-mom while daddy was putting the pressure on those two?"

" They were perfect little angels, though Jack did try to eat some of my mane half-way through the race." Pear then nuzzled them on the cheek while on her back. I tickled them both and made them laugh just as the mayor went in-between the two stacks of barrels.

" The number of barrels for the Apple family is two-hundred and twenty." The crowd gave a loud cheer as it seemed we had this in the bag. " As for the Flim-Flam Brothers, they have a total of two-hundred barrels. However! Seeing as most of the barrels do not meet health standards, the usable total is only fifty-three." This got the crowd to cheer even louder. As a result of our victory, I went over to the losers.

" First off, I commend you on your determination to win. That being said, you lost because you tried to weasel your way out and made most of your cider into something you might find on an ogres taint."

The brothers looked slightly ashamed at their actions and had their heads bowed. Finally, the one without the stache spoke. " We thank you for your criticism and will strive to be better for it."

The one with the stache then stepped up to me to give me his sob story. " My brother is right and when we head back, we'll perfect our machine to where it'll produce twice as many barrels and be of the finest quality. Come, brother of mine, we have some work to do." They quickly zipped over to their machine and tried to flee the scene. Not on my watch.

With a hard flap of my wings, I was able to get to their machine before they could even make and headway. " Where do you think you two are going? You destroyed a few dozen trees that belong to this farm. Time to pay up." The twins then put all their magic into the wheels to try and escape. With some quick thinking, I grabbed onto the cowcatcher on the front and brought it back to where they had parked it. Once it was back where it was, I got under it and with a little bit of struggling, lifted it over my head. " You two might want to get off that thing."

Once they jumped off their machine, I took it over to where there was nopony around to get hurt and proceeded to smash the hulking monstrosity, until it was nothing but broken wood and twisted metal. When the deed was done, I brought over the steering wheel and one of the many broken light bulbs. " Here. Your change." I gave them the pieces of scrap and patted them both on the back. " Have a nice day fella's." I walked past them and straight for my family. " Was that too extreme, what I just did?"

" I think it was the right amount of destruction, considering how many of our trees they destroyed." I chuckled and gave Jackie a kiss for her upbeat attitude. " Now the real question is, what are we going to do with all this cider?"

" I believe we'll take the terrible cider and take it to the criminals in the dungeon." Luna always did like to find new ways to give criminals an even harder time. Though the cider might be heading into the area of cruel and unusual. " As for the rest of the cider."

https://youtu.be/xqBNw4WSBQU

We decided to celebrate our victory by giving out our last hundred barrels free while we partied the night away. Dash went and guzzled through a whole barrel by herself while the rest of us just went ahead with just having one mug at a time. The party took place in the barn with music blaring and ponies dancing with whoever was close to them.

I was in the far corner with my boys, about to give them their first taste of cider. I poured a little cider into two bottles then put nipples on them. " Here you go, boys." They reached out to the offered bottles and started sucking greedily at them. " Slow down boys, you might get a tummy ache." Off to the side, I saw Dash groaning on her back, complaining about how she drank too much cider. " Like your aunt Dash over there."

" Yeah, she never really had any self-control when it comes to cider. Hopefully, you two won't go overboard with this stuff." Jackie gave a tussle to both their heads making them laugh between their gulps. " Do you know where Luna went?"

" I am the cider queen!" As if to answer her question, Luna was on top of the rafters with a drinking helmet attached to two barrels of cider on, screaming how she was the queen of cider. " As the queen of cider, I order the fun to be doubled!" The whole party cheered louder, as the announcement for extra fun was ordered.

I shook my head and grabbed another mug while the boys, Jackie and I watched the spectacle of my lunar wife acting like a fool in the rafters. " Well, let's not disappoint our queen. Let's party till we drop!" I gulped down the mug and started mingling amongst the others while carrying the boys in my arms, letting the others meet them. Best cider season yet.

Author's Notes:

First off, sorry for the delay. I was in the Bahamas for a few days and couldn't be bothered with this chapter, especially with no internet. For the next chapter, I was thinking of some Valentine fun and drama. Sorry, Hearts and hooves day fun and drama.

Clip.

https://youtu.be/sKhScy7E_aI