https://youtu.be/8aQRq9hhekA

It's been a week since my return to Equestria. The contractors from Canterlot came over the day after and got started building the house. Hopefully, they can follow the design.

A little fancy for the farm I know, but one has to remember that a member of the royal family will be living there too. Anyway, I was walking through the orchard looking to see where dad went off to when I heard Jackie and Dash arguing over something. Jackie and Dash? It sounds like a tv show or something.

" I'm tellin ya, the most athletic pony in Ponyville is me and I'll prove it."

" Oh yeah, what's that?"

" I challenge you to the iron pony challenge!"

I decided to cut in. " Hey girls, mind if I join?" I got in between them and gave Jackie a kiss. " What's this I hear about an iron pony challenge, is that like a physical competition or what?"

" It's a series of contests to see who the best pony is. I think we need a referee though."

" No problem, I'll get Twilight and the others. Don't you two love birds do anything till I get back" Rainbow went off to get the girls and hopefully dad if she passed him by.

" Jealous!" When she was out of sight Jackie and I started setting up the course and activities. It took us a good two hours to finish up the last one, it was also around that time that Rainbow came back with the girls, Spike, dad, and a small group to watch the competition, which oddly enough had both of the princesses. " How is it they have so much time on their hooves?"

" Maybe Lulu wanted to see us compete, therefore dragging Celestia with her. Or maybe they wanted to be away from all the snobs?"

" Either way, you two are going to be left in the dust."

Rainbow came over with Twilight. " Alright, I've got our ref, let's do this!"

I looked to Twilight with some skepticism. " You know how to ref a competition like this, right?"

" Of course! I've read at least twenty books on the sport as well as-"

" Alright. You got the job." I turned to my two fellow competitors. " So, what's the first thing we do?"

We went over to the barrel run, Jackie was going to start off. Spike held a stopwatch while on Twilight's head. " Alright, ready Applejack?" She just gave a nod. " Ready. Set. GO!"

Jackie was off like a bolt, weaving through the barrels like a champ, at least until she hit the one barrel. " dagnabit!" She crossed the finish line and came over to us. " So, how'd I do?"

Spike held up the watch. " Seventeen seconds."

" Why, that's better than my last rodeo." She seemed happy with that, though I was waiting for the pause.

" But, you lost five seconds with that barrel, so that gives you twenty-two seconds."

" Darn, well I guess it's your turn Dash." For some reason, Rainbow was nervous about doing this. " Don't be shy Dash, it's all in good fun." This seemed to get her nerves in shape.

Rainbow went to the starting line and got limbered up. " Alright, ready. Set. GO!" Rainbow was off like a bat out of Hell. She was moving so fast she was leaving a rainbow trail. She weaved through the barrels like a snake. When she crossed the finish line, Spike called for time. When she came back Spike announced the time. " And the time is, eighteen seconds."

" ( Whistles). Not bad Dash, are you sure you're not secretly a rodeo pony?"

" Not bad chica, but I believe it's my turn." I went over to the starting line and limbered up.

" Alright. Ready. Set. GO!" No sooner was the last syllable uttered than I was off. The world around me became a blur as I went, weaving through the barrels coming within mere centimeters of the wood. Before I even knew it, I was across the finish line. Well actually I was fifty feet past the finish line, but who keeps track at that speed.

I went back to see the race results. Though with the faces they had, I'm pretty sure I won. " So, what was the time?"

Spike tried to calmly give out the answer. " TEN SECONDS." Or he could yell it, that works too.

" Joe, how did you do that?" Rainbow was a little peeved to have her win taken from her.

" Well, I was the running back for my high school football team, lead us to victory every game." Rainbow was mildly interested while Jackie looked impressed. Fluttershy went and chalked me up a point.

" As much as would like to hear that story, we still have a competition to do." Seems Rainbows getting impatient.

We went over to the high striker, that would be the game with the bell at the top, and Rainbow went first. With one leg kick, she rung the bell. " Ha, beat that." What is this a Hot Wheels commercial?

Applejack went over next, I know she won't disappoint. " Let me show you how it's done." She positioned herself so she would kick the target with her hind leg. With one swift motion, her kick broke the target and the bell, sending the ringer sky high. She walked by the tree Dash was sitting under. " Years of apple-bucking." She then kicked the tree to emphasize her point by having a few apples fall on Dash's head. She then walked over to me. " Sorry Joe, guess you can't compete in this one."

" Don't worry about it, it's all in good fun anyway." I bent down and gave her a kiss. " Besides, the way I see it, we've only just begun."

Since the high striker was destroyed, we went on to the next game. Which happened to be an arm-wrestling contest. Needless to say, I won that so, on to the next event.

The next contest required an assistant. " Why am I doing this again?" Since the event was a wrestling contest, we needed a wrestler. And dad was the only one truly qualified.

" Because you love me and your ass was getting tired of sitting around all the time." Dad gave me a disapproving look. " Kidding, any way Jackie's up first so good luck."

Dad went to the middle of the pen and took his shirt off. A few mares started whistling and giving him the bedroom eyes. I even saw Celestia give him a seductive look. Anyway, Jackie went into the ring and waited for the signal from Spike. " Alright, the rules are. No cheap shots! No biting! And finally, no flying!" That last rule was directed at Dash and me. " The winner is the one who pins the grey wolf" Dad always insisted on that name. "or whoever lasts the longest against him." And so it begins.

'Ding!' As soon as the bell rang, Jackie went to tackle my dad. Unfortunately, dad flipped her and pinned her to the ground. She squirmed to get free, but dad had her down for the count. " Five! Four! Three! Two! One!" The crowd counted down and cheered for my father's victory and Jackie's defeat in twenty seconds flat.

Jackie got out of the ring and Dash went in. Dash had told me how she trained in martial arts and had multiple trophies in said events. Of course, that won't mean squat when going up against my old man. 'Ding!' The bell went off and so did Dash. Unlike with Jackie, Dash was able to grapple around dad's legs and pin him to the ground. The crowd was about to start the countdown until dad flipped her to the ground and held her there. She squirmed and kicked trying to get out, but by the time she made a little headway, the crowd already counted her down. Dad let her up and told her she did well. Her time was thirty-five seconds, not bad.

" Alright old man" I went into the ring and took off my shirt. All the mares were screaming my name, though none more than Lulu and Jackie. " its go time!"

" Bring it on boy" 'Ding' Unlike the last two times dad actually went for me. Dad and I met in a grapple and tried to get the upper hand on each other. Dad tried for a sideswipe with my legs to get me down but I wasn't having any of that.

I took hold of his right leg and flipped him in the air making him land on the ground hard. I then proceeded to put him in the full nelson. " Give up yet old-timer?"

" You wish!" He wrapped his legs around my legs and kicked forward, making me lose my balance and fall on my back. He then flipped himself around to pin me, or at least he would have had I not springboarded him out of the ring.

I got up off the ground triumphant. " I win!" It was more to my dad than the competition but whatever. The crowd cheered as I made a spectacle of the event. I finally made my way over to dad. " You alright dad?"

" Of course I'm alright, my son just made me proud." He then gave me a hug which I returned.

" That was amazing! I can't believe we're not selling tickets to this thing." Spike was utterly amazed by the spectacle. " On to the next event.

Over the next couple of hours, Jackie, Dash and I would compete in various activities that tested our strength. Some of them were a total waste because Dash would use her wings to get the upper hand. When the last event was over, the score was Jackie 5, Me 5, and Rainbow 10. What a load of crap.

" Awww yeah, I am the iron pony" Rainbow flew up to pose while a couple of pegasi stretched out a Rainbow banner. I wonder if they had a banner for me and Jackie?

" You ain't no iron pony! You cheated!" Although she had a point, there was no need to announce it to everyone.

" What do you mean? I didn't cheat!" Rainbow was furious, apparently, she doesn't like being called a cheater.

Soon the two of them were going at it like a couple of dogs fighting over a piece of meat. Looking around to try and defuse the situation, I caught a glimpse of a poster advertising for the running of the leaves. Loki must be listening or trying to fuck up my life.

" Hey, girls, how about we settle this with a race." I showed them the poster and they seemed to agree. " Excellent, we'll settle this tomorrow."

https://youtu.be/XAKN_zYAwV4

I was at the starting line with a couple of dozen ponies who are running in the race as well. On my right, AJ was stretching and giving me a rise. Oh, the things I'm going to do to that mare tonight. Ah and on my left was Dash, with her wings bound by rope. The rope was there to make sure she didn't fly ahead and win. Though what really surprised me, was that Twilight was in the race too.

" So, Twilight. Quick question. Why are you in the race, I mean don't get me wrong but, you really don't look like the athletic type."

She seemed a little miffed but she answered. " I'm doing my part to help with the leaves." She pulled out a book entitled how to race for beginners. " This book taught me all I needed to know."

" That's great Twi, still gonna leave you in the dust though." Soon enough we heard the horn signaling us to get ready. We all lined up at the starting line to start this race.

Up in a hot air balloon, Spike and Pinkie played announcer. " On your marks, get set, GO!"

The racers ran ahead for the best lead they could get, though I stayed back for a bit. When I saw Luna look over at me curious as to what I was doing, I just gave her a wink. Once I felt I gave them a good head start I took off my shirt and slipped off my sandals then went on all fours. " Time to show who's the fastest in Equestria." I sprang forward onto the track while donning my wolf form to catch up.

It took me no less than five minutes to catch sight of the rear of the group, though I did pass Twilight who was moving at a light jog. No matter, as I was getting closer I decided to have a little fun with the racers, by letting out a big roar.

https://youtu.be/HiTXARq9YGg

The two mares in front of me looked back and near shit themselves, although thank the gods they didn't because then I would be stepping in it now wouldn't I? Anyway, I pushed through the crowd to get to the front where Jackie and Dash were, though push is an overstatement when everyone moves to the side.

As I was getting closer, Jackie tripped over a rock and face planted hard. " Jackie!" I stopped in my tracks and made sure no one trampled her. " Jackie, are you alright?"

She got up and dusted herself off. " Yeah, don't know what happened though?" She finally looks at me and notices I'm in my wolf form. " Why are you in your wolf form?"

" To answer your first question, you tripped on a rock in the ground. And two, I wanted to scare the crap out of a few of the racers."

" Hi you two, how's the race?" Twilight came up behind us, still just jogging at her own pace.

" It's going pretty well, though if we continue to chit-chat, we'll never finish the damn thing." I let go of Jackie and was about to run, but first. " See ya at the finish line with victory champagne!" I slapped Jackie on the ass and left before I could get any kind of punishment.

" Joe, When I get my hooves on you, I'll have you hanging from the rafters by your balls!"

" Don't threaten me with a good time!" I kept on running till the two were out of sight.

" By the god's what's taking so long?" Me and Twilight, along with a bunch of tired contestants, were waiting for Jackie and Dash to finally cross the finish line. In all honesty, I thought that Jackie would have been right behind me taking second place. Now I'm actually worried that they may have been attacked.

" Here they come!" Indeed they were on their way, in a dust cloud of two fighting ponies. Dammit, girls. " It's Applejack! No, it's Dash! Somebodies leg! Cthulhu! Someone's dirty sock! No. It's a tie!" They both crossed the finish line and stopped fighting.

" A tie for first?"

" More like a tie for the last place." They both took looks of defeat. " You know, If you didn't stop to do all that Willie Coyote crap, you might have actually had a better position in the race."

" Yeah, I guess your right." It's a gift. " Sorry AJ for making you run up that cliff."

" Sorry for getting you stuck in that maple sap." That actually gives me an idea for later.

Luna came over with Celestia to speak with us, while they walked over to us, the crowd would bow in their wake. " Well, I believe a celebration is in order. Don't you think Joe?"

" Yes, I think so." I turned to the girls. " While the race was going on, Fancy Pants came over to tell me the house is finished." Everyone was excited to hear that, especially Jackie and Lulu. I grabbed them both in each arm. " Let's go see our new home."

We went down the road heading to the new house. When we came upon it, it was magnificent, though not the original design it was still a triumph.

The girls all had smiles on their faces and gave out cheers. My two girls each gave me a kiss on the cheek and the whole world was perfect. " Welcome home"

Author's Notes:

Finally! A permanent residence for Joe and his pack. Now I believe it's time for our hero to get ready for the Gala.

https://youtu.be/rCHGzxSBn-c