Authors note

So,  sorry it took me so long to work on chapter 2,  but I am annoyed at the prospect of having to rewrite,  I only find fun in writing stuff I haven't before.  But thank you for the nice rating nonetheless.  In light of my boredom,  I promise it won't degrade the level of writing.

On the bright side,  I will make SOME modifications to it all.

Also,  an apology this took so darn long to write,  Christmas and new year and all.

Chapter 2,  AWAY.

        The carriage barrelled through the clear blue skies as I lounged in the back,  trying,  and failing,  to catch a nap on the short carriage ride to my destination,  Ponyville.  I picked myself up groaning,  leaning back on the carriage and sitting in the comfortable seats,  realizing my endeavour to get sleep was going to be a failed one.  The winds rushed against my face,  flicking about my mane as the pegasi pulling me were no doubt trying to show off,  ducking and diving through the skies with agility,  mumbling to one another,  probably seeing if they could keep up with each other's tricks.  Cute.  I decided to avoid the more direct approach of insulting them I usually took when talking to a pegasus guard as not to further endanger my nap.

        "Hey guys.  Could you slow it down a pinch?  I didn't get much sleep."  I asked,  as politely as I would allow myself to ask a pegasi guard.  Which turned out to be through a slight scowl.

        Their response wasn't so polite,  which isn't exactly a big statement,  but still.  "Ha,  whatever kid.  Just sit back and watch a couple masters at work.  And when you land in Ponyville you can tell your friends."  The...one on the left,  carriage grunt #1 grunted arrogantly as his partner chuckled,  swerving between clouds and causing me to sway violently from side to side.  I was used to his tone,  but I was the one used to using it,  having it used against me wasn't as nice.  I decided to take the previously ignored direct approach to gain their attention.

        "Pfft.  I don't know why I bothered complaining.  A filly could sleep through these 'tricks'"  They turned around to glare at me,  looking right at me smug grin as I laughed at them under my breath.  This seemed to annoy them,  good.

        "You think you can do better?  You don't even have any wings!"  Carriage grunt #2 giggled from the right,  nudging his comrade as he did the same.  A lovely point,  if I'd ever said I expressed outward desire to become a winged,  carriage pulling over-glorified doorpony.  Still,  a pony could try.

        "Well.  I can keep the carriage afloat with magic,  and at a standstill it would be moving considerably fasting than this pace.  Really this is pathetic.  Are you guards or homeless ponies Princess Celestia pulled in from the street."  I mocked,  causing them to speed up and swerve more violently in anger,  turning around to check how close I was to puking.  To their further annoyance my smug grin had not been wiped off of my face.  They keep up this pace and they could enter in some butterfly racing leagues.

        "Yeah?!  Well maybe we do detach the carriage and see how you do plummeting to the ground?"  Carriage grunt #2 piped up,  obviously angered by my joking at the expense of his abilities.  He turned to face his partner.  "How about it,  lets ditch this runt!"  He motioned to the harnesses on their backs,  suggesting they unlatch what attached them to the carriage in tandem.

        "Woah.  Celestia wouldn't be too happy about that,  he's got to get to Ponyville,  even if he is wrong.  We might even get fired if we up and drop him!"  Carriage grunt #1 reasoned with his enrage partner,  trying to soothe him.

        "...You're probably right.  There's no rules against showing him what we CAN do though right?  Lets step up.  Watch and learn foal!"  He smiled,  speeding up and exiting his state of anger.  Unacceptable.

        ".....So you're a wuss?"  I taunted,  shrugging as he turned around,  once again fuming.  His partner looking worried.

        "Calm down...don't do anyth-"

        "NO!  This ungrateful foal is being ferried to his destination and he can't even bother to be thankful!  Hayseeds to him!"  He screamed angrily,  undoing his latch and flying alongside the carriage as his partner grunted and strained as he struggled to keep it upright,  slowly descending.  "What now?  Haha!"

        "...This?"  I jabbed him in the shoulder as my horn began to glow.  As did the latch attaching his partner.  "You started it!"  I said blowing a raspberry as the carriage stopped it's slow descent and took more to a style of free falling,  me still inside it,  still blowing a raspberry.

        His level headed partner didn't take kindly to this.  "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  WE'RE GOING TO GET FIRED IF YOU KEEP PULLING THIS STUFF!"  He shrieked wildly flying up to his friend,  who cowered away from his anger.  "We have to go get him!"

        That was my que to make myself scarce.  "Sorry boys,  gotta go!  I'll catch you later!"  I waved goodbye,  horn once again glowing as the entire carriage became coated in the same glow.  Slowing the descent to a safe hover,  not fast enough.  I turned the carriage to a dangerous nose diving position,  folding the wings out from their secret compartments as I picked up some speed then levelled out the carriage to a glide,  pushing through the canopy of leaves and into the forest below.  I heard the 2 exchange screams as I left view,  becoming quieter and quieter as they no doubt left to plead their case to the Princess.  I knew they wouldn't be fired,  just sent to find the carriage,  the Princess knew there was no harm in me being left alone,  but she would no doubt want her carriage back from it's parking spot.  I figured that it wouldn't hurt to give the them a little game of hind and seek,  parking the carriage in a nearby bush just large enough to contain it yet still show a small portion of it.  This would give their seeking skills a nice test,  really,  where would they be without me?

        I walked away from the carriage,  scanning the skies to find the outsmarted pegasi,  not finding them as they had scampered off as fast as their little wings could carry them.  I chuckled,  happy with my work,  feeling less tired and reinvigorated by the worry the skies vermin must be feeling about now.  I stopped patting myself on the back just long enough to continue on my way to Ponyville,  knowing way as I had seen it in the near distance from the carriage before it became one with the bush.

        I cantered through the forest,  seeing no road or pathway in sight and content with taking a straightforward path through the forest,  knowing there was nothing of danger here.  This was Whitetale woods,  the most dangerous thing here right now,  by a long shot,  was me.  And I meant no harm to the various tiny creatures and critters that inhabited this place.

        I continued my scenic expedition,  marvelling at my surroundings.  I was quite the stranger to sights like these,  not getting the chance to admire the beauty of places such as Whitetale woods previously,  as my short time spent outside of Canterlot had been on missions.  I stared at the trees,  who's thin coats of sap seemed to reflect the sunlight in such a way that cast the illusion of light dancing upon the tree's themselves.  The trees bounced the light between one another giving the entire area a beautiful and peaceful amber hue.  This was even more beautiful than the palace gardens.  My casual trot seemed to,  however,  disturb the local wildlife,  if you can call them 'wild'.  Prompting them to gather around my hooves and tag along behind,  and alongside me.  No doubt curious to the new addition to their little slice of paradise.

        This inadvertently told me quite a bit about the denizens of Ponyville.  If the fauna were this relaxed around me,  they must have seen other ponies that were kind,  and presumed,  that because I looked similar,  must have been kind too.  Ponyville was the only settlement of ponies near here,  therefore,  the citizens must have been very kind and giving to not only their own,  but others.  While I did not consider myself at liberty to judge whether or not the animal's judgement of me was correct,  and I had no illusions that most ponies I had met would vouch against the animals,  I wasn't going to bat them away.  And continued my stroll with bunnies,  squirrels and birds,  walking,  gliding and hopping alongside me lackadaisically.

        In fact,  one plucky chestnut coated squirrel even decided to go one step further.  Grabbing onto my tail and scampering up it,  onto my back and eventually perching itself atop my head,  serving as a lookout.  I didn't really want a squirrel aspiring to become a watchpony on my head,  but shooing him off may contort the woodland creature's vision of a pony slightly,  which stood now as kind and giving.  So I let him be,  I didn't even know he was there most of the time.  Well,  apart from when he decided that rappelling down the front of my face was amusing,  but even I have to admit,  it kind of was.

        I went on my way,  the cluster of fauna around me strengthening in numbers,  the squirrel atop my head even beckoning a few more squirrels my way to add to my ragtag group of critters.  The group however,  did not last too long,  as a graceful noise caused the entire group to disband and take off running in the direction of it.  I thought them scared at first,  thinking the noise to be dangerous,  I picked my lazy canter up into a jog to find the source of said noise,  pushing passed branches and making sure they didn't whip back into some poor creatures face,  eventually finding myself at the epicentre of the animals attention,  a clearing,  housing a singing yellow pegasus.

        I sat and watched the pegasus,  kind of entranced by her beautiful singing.  She hovered gently in place with her front legs spread out allowing numerous kinds of birds to land upon them,  becoming a hive of activity for the wildlife.  Attracting,  and mesmerizing the group of animals that was with me,  along with many more.  The only able to withstand her allure was the squirrel atop my head who had become very comfortable there,  though even he was swaying back and forth gently,  keeping in rhythm with her melody.

        This was a nice change of pace from normal life,  the surroundings,  the fauna and now this pegasus.  Most pegasus I've seen have obviously been the cowardly guard ponies,  so I was happy to see all pegasi didn't live by their bad example.

        "Eep!"  The mystery pegasi squeaked as she spied me,  now sitting on my haunches and listening to,  and watching her performance intently.  Diving into a nearby bush scrambling her followers,  all but a small white rabbit who tailed her into the bush.  Okay,  so maybe she was a coward like the guards.

        "...Hello?...Sorry,  I...uhm...didn't mean to scare you....are you okay?"  I cautiously asked,  stepping forward not wanting to invoke more accidental fear in the dainty pony.  Not really sure of the words I should say in this situation.  I peered my head forward and crouched down in an attempt to see into the bush,  as the squirrel,  still atop my head mimicked my movement,  shifting his body forward curiously too.

        Slowly but surely,  the pegasus came out of her hiding place.  Slowly creeping out,  also with a creature atop her head,  the small rabbit who followed her into the bush,  he brushed numerous twigs,  leaves and berries out of her pink mane and tail and she exited the bush.  Her actions almost mirrored mine,  as she came out crouched,  I backed up allowing her the space she obviously needed,  then as she shakily rose to her hooves,  I did,  matching her speed,  not wanting to scare her.  I was inwardly smug about my correct assumption from earlier,  the citizens of Ponyville proving themselves to be,  as I assumed,  kind and caring towards the animals.  Well,  that's if she was a citizen of Ponyville and not just some woods dwelling crazy pony,  I decided another safe assumption would be if she was a crazy pony she wouldn't have been spooked by an onlooker.

        "....You okay?"  I outstretched a hoof in greeting,  which she shied away from quickly.  I withdrew it back to my side wondering what to do.  Introductions?  "...I'm Crimsonlight...and you are?"  I trailed off,  to show my expectation of her answer.

        "I'm...I'm Flutters-"  She became too quiet to understand after that point,  receding back,  towards that infernal bush.  Not the bush.  Anything but the bush,  who knew how difficult it would be to coax her out this time?

        I kicked the dirt with my hoof in awkward silence,  still not knowing what to do.  I felt another furry lump bound onto my head.  Great,  there was an entire party up there.  I looked up,  spying a white bunny looking back down,  with a Chestnut squirrel to his left.  They conferred with one another in whispered squeaks before they both began bouncing up and down on my head and pointing to Flutters...Fluttershape...Fluttersheep...or whatever her name was.  This was obviously a signal to attempt to greet her once more.

        "...I didn't get that...what's your name?"  I forced a smile,  extending a hoof again and leaning forward as the duo on my head did the same.

        "I'm...I'm Flutter...Flu-...Eeee."  .....Awwww....wait,  what?  Never mind....She once again receded further away from me,  much to the dismay of the pitter patter of little feet now assailing my skull.  The only difference being an awkwardly adorable squeaking noise she made in accompaniment with her retreat.  At least she had that over the guards,  they couldn't do THAT.

        Still though,  she was being very timid.  Had I given her a death threat previously in life and just...forgot?  I decided to pay heed to the two sets of tiny feet making my head a dance floor and decided to give it one more try.  This time with more gusto,  seeing it as somewhat of a personal challenge.

        "The animals here really seem to like you.  You must really like them too?"  I began,  obviously doing something right.  As the bounding up and down on my head had turned into a congratulatory patting.  Great,  I was more their pet than they were mine.  "This squirrel is using my head as a house,  I haven't named him yet...maybe you could...help...me?"  I forced out those words more so than the others.  Which was painfully obvious to me,  this entire one sided exchange between Fluttersheep and I had been very strained due to my lack of social knowledge.  I was actually pretty proud of myself,  this may have sounded half decent if I wasn't straining them as I was.  I had to rely on the good nature I presumed her to have due to her presumed citizenship of Ponyville.  Lots of presuming going on.

        I leaned forward,  hoping this random pegasus would reply.  She stared back at me,  seeming to go over it in her head,  looking up to her bunny and my,  well,  the vagrant squirrel calling my head home.  I looked up,  seeing them nodding enthusiastically,  both apparently having a fairly larger grasp on the situation than I did.  She eventually unfurled from the ball she had halfway began to curl up in and finally spoke.

        "My name...is...is Fluttershy."  She whispered,  looking me in the eyes for the first time and holding her own hoof out in greeting,  which I grabbed and gave the softest handshake known to man.  There have most likely been butterfly's with stronger grips than what I had to use on her for fear of her retreating back into the bush.

        "Nice to meet you.....So...What are you doing out here all alone?"  I asked,  noticing her bunny hop from my head back onto hers giving me a thumbs up.  Good job me.

        "I'm just saying hello to some old friends."  .....What?....As far as cryptic answers go,  this one was a doozy.  The whole 'crazy forest pony' thing wasn't looking so bad right now.

        "....Friends?"  I tilted my head in confusion,  getting ready for her to leap at me with a sharpened stick and her bunny to pull out a tiny baseball bat.

        "Yes...I take care of a lot of animals,  and sometimes to keep it from getting overcrowded I have to release a few...I don't like never seeing them again so I come and say hello every now and then..."  Wow!  An entire sentence!  Given it was barely audible due to how quiet it was at times,  but I got it!  Good job for not being a crazy stick wielding forest pony Fluttershy!  "What do you do?"

        I puffed out my chest,  nearly rearing up on my two hind legs in pride in telling her my occupation.  Then I remembered the whole bothersome secret thing.  There's no way I could get away with telling some random pony the existence of the Blades or the Spear,  I could get away with telling the elements,  only because I was guarding them though,  any other circumstance and telling even them would end up with me on the streets.  I thought about what my lie would be.  Something not too amazing,  but nothing too...not amazing....dragon slayer?.....Was that even a job?...Well,  I guess the only job that would involve slaying dragons was,  well,  mine,  so that was a no go....Business pony?...No,  that would involve many,  many lies underneath that to back up my status.  Royal guard?  No,  royal guards had to be pegasi,  and they were larger than me.  Maybe I could say I was a special branch of royal guard?  A branch that dealt with larger problems......Wait....I was.....bodyguard it is.

        "I'm a bodyguard.  I guard the higher up....artists...fashion designers...and business ponies...."  I squeezed out the last few words thoughtfully,  trying to make my words sound as legitimate as possible.  The bunny atop her head looked at me quizzically,  trying to tell fact from fiction.  Fortunately she seemed to be a very trusting pony,  and took my words as truth without any questioning.  Thankfully.  She even seemed to perk up slightly at my mention of fashion.

        "Oooh,  you guard fashion designers?  My friend Rarity makes dresses,  and I like to keep up to date on fashion,  we meet up and talk about it."  I was taken aback by the sudden outburst of....well....talking.  And so was she,  suddenly becoming very aware of her herself.  "....Oh...um......Are you going to...Ponyville?"  She recovered from her stint of talking normally and went back to her quietly whispering.  I wasn't too fussy,  at least she brought the lie,  and even changed the subject for me.

        "Yeah...I'm taking a vacation...I heard it was....nice...this time of year."  I was now the one avoiding eye contact,  due to another obvious lie,  oh well,  her trustworthy nature proved itself once more,  seeming not to deliberate it.  The bunny on her head again playing the role of detective,  which was,  despite the fact that he was just a bunny,  slightly unnerving.

        "Oh...it is.  I could...take you to town?  My friend could even give you advice on the best places in town to visit.  She's a very smart pony."  She kindly offered,  I didn't need to think it over,  Luna hadn't exactly given me many details as to where I was going,  all I knew was that the Princesses protégé lived in the town library and that she was also the element of magic.  I could go to her 'smart' friends house,  learn the whereabouts of the library and be on my way.  Great!

        "Sure....That'd be nice."  I replied,  not knowing what to say again,  my social ineptitude shining through once more.  The squirrel on my head,  who I'd almost forgot,  once more began his tap dancing routine,  trying to get me to talk.  I decided to obey,  partly because I didn't want to seem rude,  but mostly because the furry little foal was beginning to annoy me.

        "So....Nice bunny...what's it's name?"  I clutched at straws,  motioning to the bunny on her head.  Who didn't seem too happy to be referred to as 'it'.

        "Oh....This is Angel...He helps me take care of the others."  She breathed out again,  remaining quiet.  "What's your squirrels na-Oh!"  She was cut off by Angel drumming on her head with his hands and feet,  at least I wasn't the only one who got that treatment.  "Sorry,  you asked me for help to name her,  didn't you?"  She asked,  the bunny atop her head seemed to be appeased she had used the words he had wanted her to.  At least we had one thing in common,  we were being mind control by 2 evil furry tap dancers who refused to move.

        "Her?  At least I know the gender now."  I smiled,  as the squirrel rappelled down onto the front of my face using my mane as rope and slapped me in the face.  Causing everyone but me to giggle.  "Ow.  Thanks.  So much for you getting a cool name."  My taunts were again greeted by a stomp to the top of my head.  When will I learn?  Never,  hayseeds to this bunny.

        The casual physical abuse and talk of animals caused Fluttershy to come out of her shell somewhat.  "Heh.  She looks like a....Hmmm...."  She held out her foreleg,  beckoning the squirrel to come closer.  And true to her animal magnetising form,  she did.  Hopping off my head and onto the waiting leg.

        "Melody?"  The squirrel nodded her head,  displeased.  "Oh...Sorry....Anastasia?"  The squirrel put a paw in her mouth,  making a vomiting gesture.  "I'm sorry...I...I don't know...."

        "Felicity."  I interrupted the failing naming process,  feeling very confident in the name I had chosen.

        "...Do you li-"  Fluttershy was cut off by Felicity leaping back onto my head and curling up in my mane,  patting my head in approval.  "Well...I guess she does..."  Fluttershy smirked,  watching the newly named squirrel settle into her nest.  Despite the fact her nest was showing displeasure at this.  "Hey,  look,  it's my friend's house!"  Fluttershy remarked,  pointing to,  well,  a tree.  Her friend lived in a tree?  Well,  to every pony their own.

        We approached the house...tree..house..thing.  Walking around to the front of it.  I noticed a balcony with a telescope sitting on it.  The owner must be a keen stargazer,  a hobby I couldn't completely exclude myself from,  I had done it on occasion,  there wasn't much else to do around the palace at night when the ponies to train with had been exhausted.  We walked around to the front door,  the bunny atop Fluttershy's head becoming restless and hopping down to walk beside her,  as did Felicity,  cool,  I had my head back!

        Fluttershy knocked daintily on the door,  which I barely heard,  so I have to accredit the owner of the place with super hearing.  The door was coated in a purple aura of magic and flung open,  we were greeted with a purple unicorn levitating many papers and books around her head.

        "Fluttershy!  hello!"  She greeted her friend,  then snapped her head to me.  "Oh,  hello,  I'm Twilight Sparkle!"  She welcomed me,  extending a hoof that I lazily grabbed.  I was only half paying attention,  and it probably showed.  I was too busy looking inside.  It may have been the bookshelves,  and it may have been the books in them,  but I realized something,  this was the library.  The hoof I was lazily shaking was that of the element of magic.  I quickly straightened myself out to be more formal.

        "Hello,  Miss Sparkle.  I'm Crims-"  But before I could continue my introduction,  a cyan pegasus bolted forwards,  bringing herself to a halt at a gentle hover above the element of magic's head.  And interrupted me in a not so gentle way.

        "Hey Fluttershy,  who's your new friend?  And who's the pony below him!"  She jeered,  pointing to Felicity who had recently jumped back atop my head.  This not only annoyed me but brought me to a conclusion about weighing the risks of exposing the Blades around ponies who may not be elements.  I decided upon taking the risk,  probably not a good decision,  but one I could have fun with.

        "I'll give you a good....5?..5 is good.  5 Seconds to take that back."  I grinned smugly,  not even knowing this pony at all and still opting to taunt her before introductions.  Fluttershy looked at me in shock,  suddenly realizing I may not be who I said I was.  Angel seemed satisfied with her previous assumptions,  folding her arms in success.

        "Regret it?  What do ya mean regret it?"  She asked,  landing in front of my face,  and pushing her nose up to mine angrily.  "Who do you th-"

        "Fooooooooour."  I cut her off,  attempting to annoy her as much as possible in the small window I had.

        "Don't interrupt me!"  She pouted,  crossing her forelegs and sitting on her haunches.  "She once again pushed herself up to my face.  "Now tell me,  who are you?!"  She growled with rage etched across her face.  Man,  this one didn't like not getting her own way.

        I brought a hoof to my chin,  looking like I was deep in thought.  After a second or two,  I said one thing that angered her more than pretty much anything else could have at that point.

        "3."

        Upon hearing this,  the pegasus struggled to contain yet another angry outburst,  at this point Fluttershy stepped in,  albeit quietly and with great trepidation,  to try and control the situation.

        "Uhm...Crimson?...Didn't you say you were a bodyguard?"  She said meekly,  as the pegasus in front of me adopted a triumphant pose.  Puffing out her chest thinking her friend had given her one up on me.

        "Ha!  A bodyguard,  eh?  I knew I was going to get it out of someone sooner or later!  Why didn't you just tell me to begin with?"  She taunted,  blowing a raspberry.  And unknowingly walking right into my trap.

        "'Cause I'm not.  By the way,  2."  I grinned a foalish grin,  knowing I had passed the point of no return.  As had the hot headed pony pony currently rocketing to the room to sit down and cross her forehooves and stare angrily at nothing in particular,  in a sense.  I turned to Fluttershy,  who seemed to be staring at me wide eyed,  having trouble dealing with the concept of lying.  I kind of wanted to apologize,  but I was currently set to the task of messing with a cyan pegasus,  which was going quite well,  as I had both figuratively and literally put her in her place.

        It was at this point that the element of magic decided to step in after seeing her friend get tormented by a stranger.

        "Okay.  You've lied to Fluttershy and toyed with my friend long enough.  Who are you?"  She asked sternly,  and I complied,  but not before I finished some business.

        "1."  I giggled,  before continuing.  "Okay,  okay,  fine,  if you must know.  I'm,  well,  part of a group of elite guards named the Sp-...Erm...The Blades of Luna.  I was sent her to protect the elements of harmony from an,  as of yet,  to me at least,  unknown threat.  And by the way,  I'm taking a rather large risk saying all this without the knowledge that all of you are elements,  these 2 are both elements,  right?"  I motioned to Fluttershy and pony sitting a small distance away.  My question was,  much to my relief,  greeted with a nod from a shocked looking librarian.  "..Good..."

        They stood,  and sat there in shock,  even Angel and Felicity,  I think,  I couldn't really get a good look at her being that she was still on my head.  I picked her off my head and placed her on the ground,  deciding now was as good a time as any to teach her the important knowledge that my head was not a bed.  This did nothing for the silence,  they still stared,  I didn't blame them for not knowing protocol here,  but come on ponies,  glass of water?  It was not too shocking that a certain pouting pony in the middle of the room broke the silence,  rather abruptly,  I might add.

        "Why I oughta!"  Came her well thought out response,  diving from in the middle of the room,  aiming to go over Twilight's head.  She was travelling at pretty impressive speeds too,  I gotta give it to her,  not fast enough,  though.  I coated myself in lightning,  and without giving her time to react,  sped around Twilight and into the middle of the room,  effectively switching places.  Leaving everypony rather confused,  none as much as the one who had attempted to tackle me,  who must have been wondering why she was having a dirt sandwich.  Twilight looked like she was trying to figure out what happened,  Fluttershy was,  well,  terrified from the crack of lightning,  given it could have been a bird's chirp and scared her,  but still,  Angel seemed to have retreated into Fluttershy's hair,  and Felicity just looked downright confused at the fact that she had switched ponies.

        "How did you do that?!  You cheated!"  She yelled nonsensically in anger,  picking herself up and dusting herself off,  spitting dirt out of her mouth.

        "What part of elite guards went over your head?"  I smiled as she huffed and turned away from me,  stomping indoors as Fluttershy followed,  with Angel,  and now Felicity on her head,  who could apparently go no more than 2 seconds without knowing she was messing somepony's mane.  She slammed the door behind her,  causing Fluttershy to jump with fright.  The element of magic then began to speak....

        "....It's a pleasure to meet you,  as you know,  my name is Twilight Sparkle,  and this is Rainbow Dash."  She began,  finally granting me the ability to put a name to a face.  But it was what she said after that that interested me.  "What is not a pleasure,  however,  is you taking it upon yourself to aggravate my friend,  I understand she was rude and hot headed,  but that is no explanation."  She reasoned,  adopting a somewhat motherly tone.  She was slightly reminiscent of Princess Celestia  in her controlling yet soft tone,  and in that she was insisting upon something,  giving me nearly no choice but to give it to her without saying it directly.  In this case,  it was an apology for her friend.

        I rolled my eyes,  making it clear that whilst Rainbow was getting an apology I didn't like it.  I felt like a child,  but it was still kind of worth it when I saw a few specks of dirt on the now smug looking pegasi's face.  "You're right,  my apologies,  Rainbow Dash."

        "In your face!"  Rainbow pointed at me,  spreading her wings to her side in victory.  I stared back and cocked an eyebrow as if ask how the dirt tasted.  Twilight cocked an eyebrow of her own at her,  assuming the role of voice of reason once more,  effectively too.  "I'm sorry."  She whimpered,  retracting her wings and bowing her head,  causing me to giggle like a schoolfilly.

        "So.  Crimson,  this secret organisation,  what can you tell me?"  Twilight asked curiously,  beckoning forth a pencil and notepad magically.

        "Not much,  Miss Sparkle."  I responded,  opting to speak formally to the owner of the residence.  Also opting to dash her hopes as her pencil and notepad were released from their magical grip and dropped to the ground,  her face followed suit,  dropping too.

        "Fine."  She humphed,  tidying up the mess in the room in a whirlwind of flying objects all being put neatly back in place.  "...You sure?"  She pleaded tapping a hoof next to the notepad laying on the floor,  exposing her insatiable curious side.

        "Sorry.  I can't go into great detail."  I replied,  once again causing her mood to drop,  still being cautious about saying too much despite the fact that I now knew I was in front of only elements,  and 2 random woodland creatures.

        "Darn."  She magicked her notepad and pencil tidily onto a table,  her ears drooping at denial.  She perked up once more at random,  her mood swings now beginning to worry me.  "So.  Being as you're guarding us,  you'll be attending the sleepover tonight?"  She happily asked,  as Rainbow Dash seemed to increase her pouting tenfold.

        ".....Sleepover?"  I replied,  not ecstatic at the idea of going to a sleepover with Celestia knows how many ponies I didn't know,  one of whom seemed annoyed by my presence.  Twilight Sparkle seemed quite the opposite.

        "Yes!  Were going to do a little stargazing!  And almost all the attendees will be elements!"  She beamed,  smiling in her knowing that I had no choice but to come to her sleepover now.

        "...Fine..."  I grumpily said,  turning away in annoyance.  Rainbow Dash nearly mimicking my movements in the same frustration.  "What do you mean almost?"

        "Oh,  my assistant spike,  and Fluttershy's bunny Angel.  And the squirrel you came with."  She motioned towards Felicity,  who didn't take kindly to not being called by name as she had apparently taken a very quick liking to it.

        "Her name's Felicity."  I nodded to my 'pet' as she chirped happily and bounded off of Fluttershy's head and towards mine,  bounding once more up my tail and to the top of my head.  Once more being shoo'd off,  she cross her arms on the floor and sat on her back legs with her bushy tail sticking upright.

        "Hah.  Okay then,  at great risk,  I have to leave and do some tidying up before the rest arrive,  I'll leave you to...mingle?"  She said,  in the form of a question,  unsure as to whether she really should leave her hot headed friend with a pony who had,  in his first 5 minutes of being known,  annoyed her to the point of sitting grumpily forelegs folded.

        "I'll be good."  I responded to assure her,  I probably would be good,  so it's okay.

        "Okay then,  If you need anything just call!"  She cheerfully hopped off,  no doubt anxious for her little get together later.  Much less could be said about me,  I had never been to a sleepover before,  and didn't know etiquette very well,  but if they tried to give me a makeover I had a feeling Luna may need to commission a squad of ponies to protect the elements from me.

        The tension was in the room that took the place of the element of magic after her departure was comparable to that of Luna's first feast after,  well,  trying to kill the world.  We sat there in silence for about 20 long,  long seconds before I decided to slowly canter over.  Fluttershy still looked slightly terrified by the concept of a lie,  wincing away from me to avoid eye contact with me as I moved forward,  Rainbow opted to growl and turn away.  Felicity joyously absent to the awkwardness of the situation as she jumped beside Fluttershy,  Angel jumping next to her as they began squeaking to each other.

        "So...Fluttershy....Sorry about lying...I had to,  you understand right?"  I opted to take the easy route first,  knowing Rainbow Dash would be much harder to win over.  I asked her as gently as possible,  fearing any noise may provoke her to burrow into her own hair in sheer terror.  To my relief she seemed somewhat soothed by my apology,  seeing that I had no choice but to be dishonest.

        "I....It's okay."  She replied in short,  short or long,  it was acceptance of my apology though,  so I didn't care.  I had bigger fish to fry anyway.  I turned to Rainbow Dash,  who met my stare with her own,  nearly burning a hole in my skull with her angry gaze.

        "Still a little saddlesore?"  I joked hoping to ease the tension slightly.

        "I'm fine."  She intensified her stare,  a gesture very contrary to what she had just said.  It could not be avoided,  I had to do it.  Something I deep down knew I owed,  an unprovoked apology.

        "I'm....Sorry....I acted foalishly,  I'm not the most social of ponies,  understand that."  I muttered under my breath,  causing her angry stare to morph somewhat into shock.  Somewhat.  It was still mostly angry.

        She seemed to give my words some thought for a few seconds,  Fluttershy stared at her as if trying to will her to accept my apology.  She finally spoke,  re-meeting my gaze.  "....It's fine....Just....One thing?"

        "What?"  I strained,  wondering what silly request was about to befall me.

        "You're NOT faster than me."  She said sternly,  as if laying down the law.  Underlining the word 'not' much more so than the rest of her words.  

        "Yes I am."  I kept it simple.  Not wanting to incite another riot.  I realized shortly after these words left my mouth,  these were probably not the wisest riot avoidance words.

        "What?!  I'm totally faster than you!  Race me!"  She hovered in the air and began flying circles around me much to Fluttershy's disliking.  I remained stoic.

        "I can't race you,  I'm supposed to be protecting you.  I don't have time."  I reached out a hoof to stop her from flying around me,  grabbing her tail and yanking her back down to the ground as she had began kicking up quite the little mess.

        "Scaaaared?"  She poked my nose as she said this,  great,  she wouldn't be content with herself until I was angry or racing her.  Fine then,  I would comply.

        "I'll race you."  I sighed as her face brightened up.  "After I'm done here.  When the 'danger' the Princess spoke of is gone.  And even then,  don't expect a win."  I actually quite looked forward to the prospect of racing her,  that little tackle from earlier showed she had some speed,  if she actually combined that with thought I may have to break a sweat or 2.

        "Good with me!"  She shook my hoof happy that she had gotten her own way.  "You're not so bad after all!  You'll be even better when I beat you!"

        "Just remember what I said."  I smiled back as I felt a nice little friendly rivalry brewing.  Awww,  you ponies.  "So.  The other elements,  tell me more about them.  But,  could you keep it vague?  Just their jobs,  I kind of like a little mental challenge,  you know?"  I asked,  half curious and half wanting to begin a normal conversation before an argument had chance to take place.

        Rainbow Dash stared at me like I was an extra terrestrial for a few seconds before replying in a somewhat confused tone.  "I...don't...Whatever."  She shrugged,  maintaining the same strange look.  "There's a farm pony,  a fashionista and a baker."

        "And what elements do you,  Fluttershy and Miss Sparkle represent?  And what does that leave?"  I asked,  only wanting the bare basics to work with.  I had become accustomed to brain teasers when I could get them,  they were a somewhat amusing form of self entertainment in an otherwise mostly uneventful job.

        "Twilight is magic,  Fluttershy is kindness,  and I'm the element of loyalty!"  She emphasized her own element much more so than the others.  She then stood up on her hind legs and began to make cheering gestures with her forelegs.  I could only imagine the theme music an cheering crowds playing on a loop in her head.

        "Uhm,  that leaves laughter,  honesty and generosity...."  Fluttershy whispered,  deciding if she didn't tell me then Rainbow would forget to amidst the imaginary body surfing that was no doubt going on.  I nodded to her in thanks to her intervention as Rainbow Dash snapped out of her self congratulatory trance looking slightly confused as to what conversation she was having,  as I had presumed she would.

        Before she could further demonstrate her downright goldfish like memory she was saved by a couple hard knocks on the door.  "Could you guys get that?"  Miss Sparkle shouted from upstairs,  too busy with whatever she was doing to answer the door.  I turned to go towards the door and found a white bunny clinging to the doorknob trying desperately to turn it around.

        Fluttershy giggled and pranced over,  helping the helpless bunny out,  opening the door for her friend.  An orange mare with a very strong Maressissippian accent and a cowboy hat covering her blonde hair,  sporting 3 apples as a cutie mark.  "Hey y'all.  How're ya?"  She cheerily said,  nodding to the room then taking a bag off her back and placing it on a table.  "Ya should let those cool down a little,  they're a pinch hot."  The bag unfurled slightly,  the delightful scent of all different types of apple treats filling the air,  immediately perking up Rainbow Dash as she stood upright focused on the treats.  "Heh,  not for now.  Oh!  Hello!  Ah'm Applejack,  and you are?"  She turned to me,  extending a hoof in greeting,  as did Rainbow Dash,  no doubt anxious to see me get her wrong.

        "I'm Crimsonlight,  and you must be the element of honesty,  correct?"  I grinned at her,  she seemed slightly taken aback,  but mostly uncaring.  Rainbow Dash however was staring at me looking like she was trying to learn my otherworldly secrets.

        "Heh,  blabbermouth over there tell you?"  She motioned to Rainbow Dash who seemed to still be staring at me trying to think of a sufficient retort.

        But before I could open my smug little mouth to speak,  Rainbow Dash seized the moment.  "How did you know that?"  She asked calmly,  but with an obvious hint of suspicion in her voice.  Like an interrogation.

        I inhaled deeply,  planning to thoroughly enjoy this.  "Well,  she has a strong Maressissippian accent,  and most ponies down there are farm ponies.  Judging by the apples as a cutie mark,  and,  of course,  her name,  it's no long shot to presume that she works on an apple farm.  Most farm ponies have a childhood in which honesty and a hard working attitude are taught to them.  Making her a very likely candidate for the element of honesty.  Tada."  I smiled,  extending a hoof as the toxic levels of smug began to pulse from me.  Applejack and Rainbow just stood there,  one wide eyed and the other a little confused.  Fluttershy and her woodland friend,  along with my very own woodland friend were actually clapping.  I'm not sure the critters knew what they were clapping for,  but I was still pretty impressed they were making an effort.

        Applejack turned around to see Rainbow Dash pouting,  quickly piecing together one and one.  "Bahaha!  Either I'm missing something or you jus' made her look silly!"  She laughed,  presuming we had some form of bet on.  Not caring so much of the bet,  but that her friend had lost.  I was okay with this reaction.  Rainbow Dash apparently didn't.  Scratch that,  I loved this reaction.

        "Something along those lines."  I smirked mirthfully,  shaking her hoof.

        "Hey AJ didn't you say that Pinkie was coming here with you?"  Rainbow questioned,  as Applejack raised a hoof to her chin in thought.

        "Ya know Pinkie Pie,  she'll show up eventually!"  She tittered,  as did everypony else in the room,  and Angel.  Felicity and I exchanged awkward glances as we were left out of an apparently humorous inside joke.  "So,  what brings ya to town?  Don't think ah recall seeing ya around here before."  She asked,  relocating my mind to where it should have previously been.  Making me internally ashamed.

        "Ah....Right...I have to guard you.  No I don't know what from,  how long or why.  So please,  no questions."  I almost barked out,  not wanting to dwell on something I knew nothing about,  partly because I was slightly embarrassed to be saying 'I have no idea what I'm doing here'  partly because I plain didn't want any questions.

        She seemed slightly annoyed,  furrowing her brow in frustration at my not wanting questions.  "If you say so."  She sighed,  obviously having some questions lined up,  but still showing respect for my wishes.

        Everything was relatively normal up to this point,  well,  I stretch the word relatively,  but it was all pretty much within my realm of expectations.  That was,  until,  a potted plant began to shake.  All attention in the room turned to it as it rocked back a forth,  I decided given the nature of my assignment it would be best that I take the mantle.  I cautiously stepped towards it,  observing it's motions,  back...and forth....back...and forth....and stop.  I caught it as it rocked towards me,  stopping it in it's tracks.  Only then did it go from it's previous shaking to a now violent rumbling,  I moved my hoof away,  fearing the worst and standing at the ready.  The plant pot jumped a good foot in the air,  and with it,  in complete ignorance of logic and the fact that she was LARGER THAN THE PLANT POT,  out jumped a pink pony,  clutching a tray of cupcakes.  Horribly burnt cupcakes.

        I wanted to say 'Pinkie Pie,  I presume?'  in a smug voice,  but I was honestly terrified due to her law of physics defying antics.  Dragons,  hydras and manticore,  let it be known that what finally brought Crimsonlight to his knees was a pretty pink pony leaping from a potted planted clutching a tray of charred cupcakes.  "What are you guarding us from?  How long for?  Whyyyyyy?"  She blurted out,  obviously listening to the guard part but simply not caring about my distaste for playing 20 questions,  as she planned to exhaust all 20 before I could answer one.

        "I....I don't know...."  I said,  still shocked,  the others seemed to be laughing at my inability to cope with this,  like it was an everyday thing for them.  If I ever said Ponyville was a quaint village full of quiet ponies,  I take it back,  this place is hardcore.

        Before much else could pass my mind,  this pony apparently took the initiative and jammed my gaping mouth full of what was probably supposed to be a cupcake.  "Here,  taste this!"  She squealed in delight as her friends giggled and I fought off a sudden urge to choke and die.

        "Mmmmf!  Ahgaaaa!"  I cried in frustration turning around to avoid more cupcake to throat aggression,  forcing down the cupcake with a wince,  not wanting to spit up all over an elements floor.  At this point all of the other elements were full on laughing at my reactions,  the wizard behind me remaining quiet.  I spun around to face said wizard,  having a few things to say to her about trying to kill the pony guarding her.  Much to my disbelief,  dismay,  and many other 'dis's' however,  she had,  without a trace of dirt on the floor around the pot,  disappeared.

        ".....Erm....Hello?"  I said cautiously,  still slightly scared.  Which I took great shame in,  but I really had no choice in the face of such absurdities.  I poked at the pot,  lifting it up,  nothing.  No trap door,  it wouldn't matter anyway,  there's no way she could fit in there.  I then heard giggling,  though this was different from the general giggling in the room,  this was right behind me....

        "Psst.......Down here..."  I turned around,  looking for her as she spoke amidst torrents of giggling.  I couldn't see her,  then I decided,  against my better judgement,  to look down,  and saw something that destroyed any hope she wasn't a wizard.  Two lumps at the edge of Miss Sparkle's rug,  these lumps were the ONLY lumps in the rug,  meaning she was hiding under there and only her eyes were registering with the universe as being existent.  So either this was a VERY elaborate prank involving trapdoors and a degree of unicorn magic that they would not be able to hide this well.  Or she was a particularly cruel ghost.  Honestly,  as much as it pains me to say this,  I was leaning towards the second.  Either way,  I had had enough of this,  and grabbed the rug to  pull it off and get to the bottom of this.  She was having none of this,  and the second I grabbed the rug,  she sprang up,  standing next to me,  with a tray of cupcakes stuck in her mouth,  a cupcake tray that was,  against all logic,  which seemed to be her mantra,  was not poking from underneath the rug.

        "Seriously.  How are you doing that?"  I asked,  peeking under the rug to see nothing but a wooden floor.  She seemed amused by my disbelief.

        "Doing what silly?"  She leaned in as I leaned backwards to avoid a clash of heads,  not wanting to harm her.  For all her wizardry,  I can't recount a time when the pony with the horn didn't come off better in a head butt.

        "....Your...things...I mean stuff........Whatever...Hello,  I'm Crimsonlight."  I whined,  wanting to avoid further confrontation.  I decided I needed some time away from all this friendship stuff,  prolonged exposure to social ponies was resulting in a migraine,  and I doubt even Celestia knew what prolonged exposure to the pink one's powers would do.  If these other ponies were anything to go by,  I'd either become a silent recluse,  an easily irrirated hot head,  compulsively wear a hat,  or be purple.  I decided not to risk it,  and magicked open the door and began to walk outside.

        "I know your name!  I'm Pinkie Pie!  Are you Rarity's cousin?  You're the same colour as her!"  She extended her hoof to me,  I turned and shook it,  hoping this to be the last physical contact I make.

        "What?  Who's.....Never mind....I know your name..."  I murmured in defeat,  ignoring her question about this Rarity pony for the better.  Walking out the door I caught the smug look on Rainbow Dash's face,  and decided to take the risk of opening my mouth to wipe it off.  "She's laughter."

        At least that brought me some joy,  as her grin was morphed into another pouting visage.  Applejack and Fluttershy once again giggling along at their pouting friend,  not that they had stopped since Pinkie Pie made me afraid of the stability of the world around me,  but still.  The pink pony herself also joined in the giggling,  well,  not so much giggling as hysterical laughter,  I don't even know if she was in on the joke or just laughing in general,  wait,  how long had she been listening in?  Best not to think about it.

        I stepped outside,  closing the door behind me and even considering locking myself out.  I stared at the serene village in front of me,  slouching against the treebrary thing.  Ponies of all shapes and sized going about their daily lives with a smirk on their face,  pretty brave considering they were living in the same village as an ancient evil.  Agh,  no dwelling on that.  I took solace in this modicum of private time,  allowing the cool winds to soothe me,  no pony bothering me,  asking me questions or forcing me to be social.  Just me,  the wind and my thoughts,  and the occasional giggle at a wall eyed mail pony who consistently flew into things.

        I then noticed a most peculiar site,  a white pony with quite a well styled mane being escorted by....a dragon? ...Scratch that,  a dragon with a whole load of quills,  some baked goods  and what appeared to be a coupon for a sofa in his claw.  My natural instincts were telling me to fry the purple lizard,  but I decided against it,  he was only helping this pony carry some....well,  all of her stuff.  I studied them for a while,  with nothing else to do,  as the mail pony had since navigated the wall,  they went from stall to stall,  well,  the white pony went from stall to stall,  the dragon followed her,  apparently quite smitten.  

        After perusing some,  well,  all the stalls,  they began to make their way towards me.  Were they selling stuff?  She did seem to be having short conversations with the ponies at the stalls,  were they friends of Miss Spark-  Wait!  Didn't Pinkie Pie say I was the same colour as somepony called 'Rarity'?  Maybe she was Rarity?  And judging by her looks she was the fashionista,  it was obvious Pinkie Pie was the baker,  if you can call those cupcake monstrosities baking.  What other reason would she have for coming here,  and this must be Miss Sparkle's assistant Spike!  It seems a fitting name for a dragon.  I decided to amuse myself by messing with them a little bit,  I needed it after my close encounter of the Pink kind.

        "Rarity,  the element of generosity I presume?"  I walked towards them,  springing to life,  causing her to take a prideful look on her face.  Not the reaction I was hoping for,  I then noticed the dragon drop all of his things and stand in front of her defensively,  somebody have a crush?  "What's the matter Spike?"  I asked him tauntingly,  realizing I could mess him with,  I was,  however,  interrupted by a bragging pony's braggery.

        "Oh!  A fan?  Admirer?  No need to be so defensive Spike,  the gentlecolt has probably just heard of my wears!"  She pridefully stated,  moving the dragon to one side and grabbing my hoof,  shaking it.  The dragon looked on with a degree of jealously,  gathering his things from the floor.

        "Nope."  I plainly stated,  deciding,  despite earlier events,  to take this a little further than nescessary.

        She pondered for a moment before speaking.  "Maybe a fellow fan of fashion?  Oo!  Another designer?  Of course,  how could I be so silly.  Do you wish to work with me on a grand dress or suit?"  She over dramatically stating,  emphasizing her words with her hooves a little too much.

        "Nope."

        "Then who are you?!"  The young dragon intervented with obvious irritation in his voice as the fashion wondered who I could be.

        I decided to let it go,  wanting to avoid more confrontation.  The air in there with Rainbow Dash was already a tiny bit tense,  and I feared for my life around Pinkie Pie.  The last thing I needed was more stress.  "My name is Crimsonlight...aaaand....I'm a guard!"  I smiled.

        "...Like the royal gua-"  Spike began,  before I cut him off.

        "No,  nothing like them."  I butted in,  not wanting to be compared to them.  "I'm part of a more skilled and secretive group,  I was sent by the Princesses to protect you."  I said proudly to the listeners.

        "Like super guards?"  Spike simplified.

        "...If you must."  I replied in a dull tone,  not wanting any form of comparison to the royal guard.  Still though,  this was vague enough for me not to kick up a fuss about it,  besides,  he called me super!

        "But what are you guarding us from?"  Rarity asked,  trying to extract any bit of information from me she could.  She was probably a gossipy type,  fashionistas,  eh?

        "No idea.  All I know is that I'm guarding you."  I wanted to put an end to the questions.  Apparently I didn't need to,  as she was in a world of her own.

        "Oh you must meet my friends.  You'll simply adore them!"  She over socially said,  obviously quite certain that I'd love her friends just as much as she did.  She magically flung the door open,  leading the way,  Spike,  true to lovestruck form,  scampered in after her.

        "I've met th-...Oh never mind."  I sullenly walked in,  rather enjoying my me time,  knowing these fashion ponies had an amazing ability to block out every sound not coming from their own mouths.

        "Girls,  I'd like you to meet Crimsonlight!  He will be guarding us!"  She said,  pointing to me as I felt something like a trophy.  I noticed Miss Sparkle had rejoined her friends downstairs,  all the others were there too,  even the pink one,  suddenly not performing her usual trickery now that I wasn't in the room.

        "We've already met him,  Rarity."  The element of magic giggled as Rarity deflated,  wanting to be the one who had first dibs on the gossip.

        "....Oh...Well that doesn't mean we don't have to be hospitable!  Would you like something to eat?  I insist,  here,  have this,  they're to die for!"  She offered me a cupcake,  an ACTUAL cupcake,  still though,  as much as I would have loved this 10 minutes ago,  the burnt thing Pinkie Pie gave me ruined my taste buds for the time being.

        "No thank y-"  I was cut off by a pink pony bouncing up to me bearing gifts.

        "Do you want another of mine!?"

        Dear Princess Celestia,

        Help me.