The Golden Ticket

A few days had passed since the whole Nightmare Moon fiasco, and things had finally begun to calm down for me. Thanks to Princess Celestia's announcement that she had given to Ponyville, 'Never getting over how stupid the name 'Ponyville' is', the residents had finally begun to stop running for cover at the mere sight of me, but were instead beginning to get used to my presence in their quaint town. 'Hell, some have even begun waving and saying 'hello' and shit. It's progress, at least'.

As an extra positive, I've yet to find myself homeless, either. Twilight has been kind enough to allow me to bunk in the library for now, sleeping on the same couch that I had originally found myself on when I first met her and her friends. I've already told her that this can't be a permanent thing, what with the differences between a pony and a human. 'I mean seriously, the fact that I can actually fit in one of those showers that these ponies have? Jesus Christ, it's lucky I don't put a hole in the ceiling. And don't even get me started on the toilets'.

And as much as she's been trying to dissuade me, I've told her on numerous occasions that I would be paying rent. Or, at least doing jobs around the library to at least earn my keep, such as helping Spike to organise the library.

"I've said it before, Twilight, and I'll keep saying it until it gets through that horned head of yours," I say, "that as long as you keep me under this roof, I will earn my keep. I may be a sarcastic idiot at the best of times, but I am not freeloading sarcastic idiot." 'That title goes to my mate Jordan'.

"This again? We've already talked about this!" She whines. 'Yeah, and now we're talking about it again'

"Yes, we have. And I'm telling you again, that I will NOT live here, under your roof, and not do anything in return. That's unfair for both you and me. You, for the fact that you're getting nothing in return for taking care of my fine self, and me for the fact that it ruins my good reputation" I reply.

"But it's only fair that I house you! You helped us defeat Nightmare Moon, even though you had barely even known us for only a few hours! You saved me from that spell, a spell that could have easily killed you!" She counters. I shrug. 'Well apart from some mad bruising, it didn't really do much in the end, surprisingly. So why are you still upset about that? Mares.'

"Your point is?"

"My point? My point is, Greyson, is that I owe you for your selflessness, and as a friend, I'm not going to leave you homeless." She jumps up onto her haunches, reaching just below my neck, and hugs me. "Besides," she continues, still holding onto me, "I still have hundreds of questions about your species, where you come from, your anatomy, your-"

"I knew you just wanted me for my body!" I exclaim. Detaching herself from my waist, I was able to see her face. The poor mare was blushing like a tomato, and looking at me in a mix of shock and embarrassment. Unable to hold a straight face at the sight, I burst out laughing.

"Sparky...Oh...Aha..The look on your face was priceless!" I tell her, still chuckling. My laughter dies in my throat, however, when I see exactly what she was doing. And the dark smile on her muzzle. 'Shit'

"Sparkle....Put the books down.... What are you doing, Sparky?......Twilight?...Don't do it..." I warn, backing away from the deranged mare, who began slowing advancing, like a lioness to her prey, dozens of books levitating in the air. Looking to the stairs, I see Spike coming down, confused at the scene unfolding in front of him. "Spike! My hero! We're friends, right? Help a buddy out?" I plead to the baby dragon. Looking between both myself and Twilight, he laughs.

"Yea, but remember last night? We're getting payback, Grey" He says, adopting the same smile as Twilight, as he moves to join her. 'Oh hell'.

"Waitwaitwait! Shouldn't you both be going off to Applejack's by now?" I point out, hoping that they had forgotten, and would now kindly spare me from asphyxiation via book. They look to each other, then to the clock, and back to me.

"We have time."

"Aahh..Fuck."

With Twilight and Spike now out of the library, I decided to pay a visit to Rarity's boutique. I'd seen the place upon our return to Ponyville yesterday, and knew the way there from the library. Returning the waves given to me by multiple passing ponies, I quickly reached my destination. Knocking on the door, I await an answer from the seamstress. Hearing the door open, I turn to face Rarity.

Only, It's not Rarity who answers. Instead, it's a much more smaller unicorn. 'Did she shrink herself or something?'

"AAAAAAAAAAH! RARITY, THERE'S A MONSTER AT THE DOOR!" she screams, slamming the door in my face. 'Well that happened'. Hearing the commotion, multiple ponies turned their heads towards me. Giving them a smile that roughly translated to 'I-Don't-Know-What-The-Fuck-Just-Happened', I return my attention to the door. It's not long, however, until the mare I had originally been looking for answers the door instead.

"Greyson, darling! I'm so, so sorry for what has just occurred! Sweetie Belle was not there for the Princess's announcement yesterday, you see, and so wasn't informed about your... appearance" She apologises. 'Well, that explains the screaming.'

"Meh, no harm done. I'd take 'Monster' over 'Mr Greyson' any day, so it's all good." I nonchalantly respond. She let out a sigh of relief at that.

"Thank Celestia for that. Would you like to come in?" 'No, I just thought I'd stroll all the way over here to get mugged off by a filly'.

"I would actually. I need to talk to you about possibly getting a new set of clothing. As stylish and comfy as these are," I say, pointing towards my worn out apparel, "they won't last forever. Plus, they will eventually start to stink. That is something I don't exactly want, to be honest". And with that, I follow Rarity into her boutique.

Leading me to a nearby set of mirrors, she has me stand on a podium. Levitating a set of measuring tape from a nearby container, she turns to me.

"Now before I can design anything for you, darling, I'll need your exact measurements." She says. "To that end, I'll need you to remove all articles of clothing so that I can get a perfectly accurate set of measurements". 'All? This may not end well.'

"Well alright, sweetheart, but don't be getting excited." I say, earning an eye roll from the indigo maned mare. Removing both my shirt and pants, but keeping my boxers where they were, I quickly take notice of that fact that Rarity's eyes were taking in every detail of my body. More specifically, my just-about-visible-yet-still-noticeable six pack. 'What can I say? I work out'. "Eyes are up here, sweetheart" I say, catching the attention of the blushing mare. Knowing that I'd caught her staring, the mare couldn't help but laugh.

"Yes, well. I apologise for staring, but I've just never seen such a well defined stalli- I mean, human, before." She admitted, before beginning her measuring.

"Probably because I'm the only human you've seen" I say, before cringing internally at what I'd just said. 'That still bugs me, being the only human around.'.

"How are you handling that fact, may I ask?" The mare asks, as if reading my thoughts.

"What? Being the only human around?"

"Yes, darling. Surely it must be coming as a shock to you, being the only one of your kind here?"

"Well... I've not actually thought of it so much, to be honest." I admit to Rarity, who had nearly finished up with her measurements.

"Have you thought about how you will get home?" 'Oh hell, I was wondering when that question would come up'. In the short time span I've spent in Equestria, I'd already become quite attached to the place. Befriending the six mares I'd travelled with yesterday, I had a feeling it would upset them greatly if I were to head back to where I'd come from. Unable to give an honest answer, I shrug.

"As it stands, I have no clue. I'll need to talk to your Princess about that. Seeing as how she's so powerful and mighty, as you lot have told me, she'll probably have the best idea of how to send me back." I respond. Nodding, Rarity ushered me off of the small podium I'd been stood on. 'Thank god she didn't have me remove my boxers. That would have been awkward conversation.' Pointing me towards a nearby couch, she headed off towards another room.

"I'll need an hour or two at most to complete your clothes, darling, so by all means, re-dress yourself and take a nap whilst you wait." She suggests. 'Is that it? Mate, she's speedy as hell'.

"Well alright then, I'll take you up on that" I say, heading over to and lying down on the comfy furniture in question, closing my eyes. It's not long before I find myself drifting off to sleep.

I awoke to a small prodding, coming from my arm, which was draped over the side of the couch. Opening one eye, I see that the small filly from before was poking my arm and hand, curiosity evident on her muzzle. "Can I help you, Sweetie?" I ask, remembering what Rarity had called the small filly. Jumping back in shock, her curiosity was joined by a mixture of fear and embarrassment.

"I'm so-so-rry to wake you, si-sir, but-but-I- wanted to apo-apologise for my be-behavi-viour from be-before." she stuttered, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. 'Oh...my...god. I can't stay angry at her... Hell I can't even BE angry at her!'. Turning my head towards the apologetic filly, I give her a soft smile.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo. We all make mistakes. And trust me, I know" I say, chuckling at my own banter. This got a small smile out of the little unicorn. 'Aah, there we go. That's what I want to see.'

"So... yo-you're no-not angry w-with me?"

"Angry? No way." I reassure the filly, sitting up in the process. "Heck, if anything, I'm impressed with what you did." Unsurprisingly, she didn't understand why that was.

"Impressed? How can you be impressed?" She questioned, tilting her head in the most adorable way possible. 'Hhhnnnhhg, stahp'. Keeping my eyes fixed on hers, I sit myself onto the floor, bringing myself closer to her level.

"When you opened that door, you came face to face with something you had never even seen before. Something, that was more than triple your size. If I were in your hooves, I wouldn't have even moved because of how terrified I would have been. But you? You slammed that door in my face, and called me a monster. And as bad as that sounds now, what you did would have alerted both your sister, and any passing ponies in the street, who would have come to help you. What you did, Sweetie, was brave. Stupid, yes. But still very brave." I finish, looking at the awestruck filly, the same, reassuring smile from before still on my face.

I was taken by surprise, however, when I suddenly found myself being tackled by the filly. 'I'm not even going to complain'.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" She exclaims, tightening her grip around my neck, yet not enough to hurt me. 'Daw, this is nice'. Returning the embrace, I laugh.

"Good to see that cheered you up. But, just for future reference, the name's Greyson, okay sweetheart?" Feeling her nod in response, I return to the hug. The moment ends all too soon, when she lets go.

"Thank you for not being angry, Mr Greyson!" And with that, she scampers off. 'If anyone has the privilege to call me that, it's her, and just her.' Returning to my feet, I'm just in time to hear Rarity returning from her workshop.

"Aah, Rarity! You finished with the clothes, yet?" I ask, already knowing what her answer would most likely be.

"Why, of course, my dear Greyson! Whilst it was a challenge to come up with something that I believed would be to your liking, I do believe I have succeeded." She proudly proclaimed, flipping her mane in the process. Holding up the clothing in question, I couldn't disagree with her. Multiple pairs of black and blue denim jeans, along with socks to replace the worn out grey ones I had been wearing for the past few days. Thankfully, the seamstress had also taken the time to design a couple sets of boxers, alongside the lower body wear. 'Thank god for that'. Rarity had also fashioned a number of shirts for me, colours ranging from dark grey to a light blue. Looking at the far end of the clothing, I realised that, along with the clothes, she'd also fashioned another set of footwear to replace my worn and torn ones. 'Not bad'. But what impressed me the most, however, was what she was levitating the highest, above all the other articles of clothing.

'She fashioned me an honest to god Overcoat? You beautiful, beautiful mare!'

"Rares, believe me when I tell you that what you've done is absolutely amazing! You are an absolute legend, and let nopony else tell you otherwise." I say. My response is yet another giggle from the mare, and a light blush. 'I just can't stop myself, can I?'. Suddenly, a thought occurs to me that wipes the smile from my face. 'Now how in the fuck am I meant to pay her with no money? I only have like £20 with me, and I don't think they even take British money in Equestria anyway.'

Voicing my dilemma to the mare, she laughs in response.

"Darling, please! I am the Element of Generosity!" She says, "I could never charge a friend

"Rarity, as much as I appreciate that, I can't just take all of this for free. I need to pay you back somehow... Aah! How bout I take you to Pinkie's.....place....Oh wait.. I have no money. Heh" 'Well this is awkward'

"Nonsense, darling! I'll take you myself, as a treat for what you said to my sister." She replied. 'Wait, she heard that?'

"You heard that?" I say, cheeks red in slight embarrassment. In response, she let out a soft chuckle.

"Why of course I did. Who would have thought you would be so good with foals? My, if only more stallions were just like you." 'Then this place would be well and truly fucked.'

"Come to think of it, why do you wear so many clothes, Greyson? You shouldn't be ashamed of your natural appearance, darling, and many mares would be quite impressed with your.....exotic appearance." She asks, giving me a flirtatious smile as she finishes. 'Cheeky'

"Well, humans don't have fur like you ponies do, so we need clothes to keep our bodies warm. Stops us freezing to death, Also, it hides and protects our...more...private regions" I say. Realising exactly what I mean, she nods in understanding, albeit with another light blush

"I perfectly understand, darling. Now, hurry up and put those on! I want to see how they look!"

And boy was she happy with how it turned out, if the 'squeeing' noise she made was any clue. 'Mares are weird'

Now finely dressed, I swagger out of the boutique with Rarity, heading off towards Sugarcube Corner. Turning a corner, the pair of us find ourselves coming across a familiar trio. "Hey girls, hey Spike," I call, getting their attention, and an evil look from Spike. Ignoring the baby dragons glare, I continue. "How d'you like my outfit?" I say, gesturing to my new attire. Judging by the shocked looks I got from the three, I took an educated guess and believed that they were impressed.

"Wowie! Looking good, Greyie!" Pinkie cried.

"Pinkie?"

"Yea?"

"Never call me that again?

"Nope?

"I hate you."

"No you don't!" 'I know'. Turning to the lavender unicorn, I notice that she was in awe of my appearance. "Twilight? Hellllooo?" I say, waving a hand in front of her muzzle. This brought her back to reality, as she shook her head. "Hey, Greyson. Nice outfit! Did Rarity make it?" She asks, gesturing towards the seamstress herself.

"Why, of course I did, darling. And I must say, I do believe I have outdone myself, if your reaction to our dashing friend's appearance was anything to go by?" She said, resulting in both her and myself giving Twilight a smirk. Before we could embarrass her any further, Rarity gasped, noticing something golden in Spike's claw. 'Are those tickets?'

"Are these what I think they are?" She asks, getting a closer look at the tickets.

"Uh-"
"Yes, yes, yes! Twilight's taking me to the Grand Galloping Gala in Canterlot!" Cried Pinkie. 'Gala? Is that one of those old party things that you dress up to?' Before I could voice my question, Rarity spoke up.

"The gala? I design ensembles for the gala every year, but I've never had the opportunity to attend. Oh, the society, the culture, the glamour! It's where I truly belong, and where I'm destined to meet him."

"Him?...... Who's him?" Questioned Pinkie. 'Aint that the question of the hour'

"Him.." Replied Rarity, who then began to talk in long detail about her fantasy of meeting a prince whose name was pretty stupid, a wedding, the Princess and more things I wasn't paying any attention to. Sitting on a nearby bench, I sat and waited for the whole thing to blow over, now that Rarity was questioning Twilight's decision to take Pinkie over her.

I don't know how long I was sat waiting on that bench, however, as when I next looked up, all of our friends were now here, arguing over who should get Twilight's spare ticket. Getting up, I walked over to Twilight, hoping to give her some advice on how to deal with this clusterfuck. She beat me to it, however.

"QUIET!" She shouted. 'Well shit, somepony's gotten assertive'

"And then I said, "Oatmeal, are you craz--" oh." 'The fuck were you talking about'

"Girls, there's no use in arguing." Pointed out Twilight.

"But Twilig-" Rarity was interrupted by Twilight, who shushed her.

"This is my decision, and I'm gonna make it on my own, and I certainly can't think straight with all this noise....not to mention hunger. Now go on, shoo!" She said to the now grumbling and vacating ponies, plus one human.

"And don't worry, I'll figure this out...somehow."

Returning to the library, I lay back down on the couch that I'd called my bed for the past few days, picking up one of the books that I'd been reading. I didn't get far however, when a sudden bout of tiredness came over me. Thinking that the day must've taken a lot out of me, I placed the book back down onto the floor, and closed my eyes, hoping to get a quick and uninterrupted na-

"YAAAAARGH!

"OKAY HOLY SHIT I'M AWAKE WHERE'S THE FIRE!" I shout, falling off of the couch in the process. Turning towards the lavender pony who had decided that the most effective method of waking a sleeping human is by screaming, I realise that her attention wasn't on any fire or emergency. I turn to look at what she was looking at, seeing the five mares from earlier now looking down on her, looks of shock on their faces. 'The hell is this?'

"I can't decide, I just can't decide! It's important to all of you and I just can't stand to disappoint any of you, and giving me gifts and doing me favours won't make any difference, because you're all my friends and I wanna make you all happy and I can't, I just can't!" She cried, falling to the floor. Trotting up to her friend, Applejack placed her hoof on Twilight's.

"Twilight, sugar, I didn't mean to put so much pressure on you, and if it helps, ah' don't want the ticket anymore. You can give it to somepony else. Ah' won't feel bad, ah' promise" Reassured the farmer.

"Me too. I feel just awful that I made you feel so awful." Fluttershy said, flying down to join her friends. One by one, the remaining mares voiced their apologies for pressuring the lavender unicorn into giving one of them the ticket.

"Yes! That means the ticket is mine. Ha ha! I got the ticket, I got the ticket-ow!" Her celebratory chant was interrupted, when I threw the book I'd been reading earlier at her. Noticing the disapproving looks the group was sending her way, she also gave up her claim to the ticket.

"We're sorry, Twilight" apologised the five mares. With that, Twilight rose to her feet, and turned to Spike.

"Spike, take down a note.Dear Princess Celestia,

I've learned that one of the joys of friendship is sharing your blessings, but when there's not enough blessings to go around, having more than your friends can make you feel pretty awful. So, though I appreciate the invitation, I will be returning both tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala" In response to this declaration, the mares gasped in shock.

"WHAT?" They protested. Ignoring their shouts, Twilight continued.

"If my friends can't all go, I don't wanna go either." She finished.

"Twilight, ya' don't have to do that!" Protested Applejack. 'I think she just did?'

"Nope. I've made up my mind. Spike, you can send the letter now." And with that, Spike opened the nearby window, set the letter on fire, and blew it away, much to my everlasting confusion. 'Fucking magic'

"Now you won't get to go to the gala either" Pointed out the yellow Pegasus.

"It's okay, girls. I couldn't possibly enjoy myself without my best friends there with me, so I would rather not go at all." She said, being embraced by her friends. Deciding to make my presence known, seeing as how I'd more or less been ignored throughout the entire conversation, I spoke up.

"As touching as this all is," I say, bringing the girls' attention to me, "I'm sure if you just asked Celestia, she'd happily give you more-" Suddenly, Spike began to choke, before suddenly belching up another letter, with the Equestrian royal seal emblazoned onto it. "-tickets."

"A letter from the Princess? That was fast" Exclaimed Twilight. Unfolding the letter, Spike turned to the rest of us.

"My faithful student Twilight,

Why didn't you just say so in the first place?" He said, before pulling out six more identical tickets from before. "Six tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala!" 'I love it when I'm right'.

"Now we can all go!" Exclaimed Twilight, causing the rest of the girls to cheer in delight. Their cheers are cut short, however, when they realise that whilst they could all go, two of us still had no tickets. And whilst I certainly didn't care at this point, only wanting to go back to sleep, I could easily tell that Spike was slightly disappointed.

"How come I don't get to go?" He asked, before suddenly belching up another letter, holding a seventh ticket.

"There you go, problem solved." I say.

"But what about you, Greyson? We can't just go without you." Asks Twilight, whose statement is supported by five nodding mares and a dragon.

"Well, A) This Gala sounds girlish as all hell, so I'd much rather pass. B) There's only seven tickets, and I'm sure Spike wants to go more than me. And C) See my previous points." I reply, turning back towards the couch. Before I could even lie down, however, my attention is once more directed towards the familiar sound of Spike belching up a letter. 'I swear to god, if that's what I think it is...'

" And lest I forget, one for Mr Greyson himself. We shan't be leaving out our newfound friend from this festivity now, will we?" Spike said, putting extra emphasis on my name.

"Fucking BITCH!"

Author's Notes:

And we're back! Hope you all had a very lovely Christmas. I know I did. Alex has now met one third of the CMC, gotten himself some swanky clothing, and has now received his very own ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala. Oh boy,

Because I don't think I am the best at describing things like clothing, here are what they more or less look like:

https://truclothing.com/pub/media/catalog/product/cache/c687aa7517cf01e65c009f6943c2b1e9/m/a/makrom-k0003-mens-high-collar-grandad-nehru-wool-jacket-overcoat-smart-casual-winter-slim-fit-1.jpg

http://bodjeans.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/Mens-Dark-Denim-Jeans-gdbqx5ji311.jpg

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcSJ5k58QqAP79DOE9YcUcoOVMGVmMJ18XDyU9CgW2a6viWDH2xKN8XmzBmkQv7eh30q2iLEv1U&usqp=CAE

So when you picture our protagonist, just imagine him wearing them, and you'll get a good idea of his every day appearance. However, he won't be looking so roguish all the time, though. Events such as, oh, I don't know, a wedding, will demand a more refined appearance.