Rarity's 'Favour'

So, once again, a few things have happened lately. First and foremost, I found myself in yet another coma. This time, however, it wasn't a 'Magic-Being-Forced-Into-My-Body' sort of coma, but more of the 'Suicidal-Tosser' variant. Nothing new there then, right? Still, during those two weeks in which I was in this coma, life went on as normal for everypony else.

If this place can even be considered normal, that is, and I'm not even talking about Ponyville.

One of the more important things to happen during this time was what Twilight had tried to do for me. in a bid to find some way to heal me quicker, Twilight had scoured her library from top to bottom for a book containing such an ability. Finding no such book, she decided to visit the friendly neighbourhood African shaman, Zecora, in the Everfree Forest. Of course, this didn't end well for her, and she found herself turned to stone by a cockatrice. 'You had one job, Sparky. One job.' It was only due to the surprisingly ballsy efforts of Fluttershy that she found herself turned back to normal. Still, I appreciated the effort.

Of course, this wasn't the only thing to have happened whilst I was in that coma. Firstly, the Crusaders performed some sort of theatrical show, which fell on top of them. Literally. 'I feel as if those three and any form of building, whether it be a school or a stage, don't mix well.' Secondly, Rarity got kidnapped by a bunch of primitive dogs. 'Yea, that happened.' Finally, Fluttershy, of all ponies, somehow managed to 'kidnap' Princess Celestia's own pet phoenix. To be honest, I was more surprised by the fact that I hadn't actually seen her pet phoenix at all during my stay at the castle than I was at hearing what Fluttershy had done. She meant no harm, though. In the end, it all worked out and nobody was executed/banished/sent to the moon courtesy of Alicorn Airlines. 'I'd call that a win.'

Oh, and did I mention that Twilight has adopted an owl? That happened. 'Fucker has a penchant for appearing on my shoulder for whatever reason. Still, he annoys Spike sometimes, so he's cool.'

"So, Sparky, is there anything going on today? Am I running into another burning building? Evicting another dragon, perhaps?" I ask, raising my head up off of the couch and looking over towards Twilight, who was, unsurprisingly, reading one of her many books. For the past two days, it had only been me and Twilight living in the library, as Spike was busy in Canterlot doing whatever it was that Celestia had summoned him for. 'I should really pay more attention to what people tell me.' Looking up from her book, Twilight gazed over to where I've lying for the past hour and shook her head.

"Not that I'm aware of." She says, smirking in amusement at the bored sigh I let out in response. "Besides, even if there was an adventure planned, ordered by the princess or not, you wouldn't be coming anyway. You still need to rest, remember?" She adds, furthering my frustration. Whilst I felt as fine as can be, one does not simply come out of a two week coma fully recovered. After our reunion, Twilight almost dragged me back to the hospital so as for the doctors to tell me whether I was fully healed or not. Thankfully, I was, but with the limp in my right leg still prevalent, they'd suggested that I refrain from straining my leg. 'I'm more than happy to do that, seeing as how I'm a lazy bastard at the best of times, but now I'm just bored as all fuck.'

"But I'm borrreed." I whine in a childlike voice, throwing my arms out in exasperation. Chuckling, Twilight flips another page.

"Tough." She responds, her eyes glued to her book. "You're staying here, where I can keep an eye on you, and that you won't be tempted to run headfirst into another blazing building." 'What are you, my mother?'

"Great, so I'm stuck in this massive tree-brary, with nothing to do." Seeing the playfully offended look on her muzzle, I give her an innocent smile. "Apart from spending more time with my favourite lavender book horse, of course, whose reading a book that she's most likely already finished reading before. Twice." I joke,

"First of all, I'm not a horse. I'm a pony." Twilight begins, shifting her eyes off of her book and towards the smirking human lying on her couch. 'Yea yea, whatever, same thing.' "Secondly, what does it matter if I've read this book before? I'll have you know that this book is highly informative and beneficial to my knowledge...of...well, it's important." Curious, I take a look over towards Twilight, who had shifted both herself and her book away from me. Still, I could just about spot a blush forming on her muzzle. 'Ooh, is she reading something dirty?'

"Define 'important', Sparky." I tease, sitting up and looking over towards the clearly embarrassed mare. The fact that she refused to make eye contact confirmed it. Yep, it's definitely something dirty. This'll be good.' Before I could further antagonise the mare, however, the front door to the library opened. Turning towards it, I raise a curious eyebrow towards the familiar unicorn. 'Oh look, it's Mrs Universe.' Whilst I was distracted with the sudden appearance of Rarity, Twilight hurriedly took the opportunity to levitate the book back into its designated shelf before I could get a good luck at it.'Dammit, mission failed, we'll get her next time.' Mumbling that she was no fun, I lie back down on the couch,

"Good morning Twilight. Good morning Alex!" Comes a beaming Rarity, gracefully trotting into the library and shutting the door behind her with her magic.

"Hey Snowflake." I reply, giving the mare a half-arsed wave.

"Good morning Rarity. How are you today?" Twilight says, the two unicorns embracing each other.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking." Rarity replies, before looking over towards me. "I've just come to talk to our dear friend Alex about the favour I mentioned earlier" This gets both mine and Twilight's attention. Sitting up, I look over towards the pair with a look of curiosity. 'This'll be good.'

"Oh yea, you've mentioned this 'favour' before. What d'you need, sweetheart?"

"Well, as you know, the Grand Galloping Gala is but one week from now, and I'm on the verge of finishing the dresses that we shall be wearing." She says, pacing back and forth. "During your unfortunate time in the hospital, I showcased to our friends their dresses, and, with their feedback, made the suitable improvements. Now, all that remains is to show them all the finishing products, so that we're all happy with the final design."

"Okay? That's good to hear, sweetheart, but what do you need me for?"

"I was just getting to that." Rarity murmurs. "Whilst I would have asked the girls to come to the Boutique to view my works, my sister and her friends have already made plans. Plans which involve them occupying the Boutique for a few hours." 'I think I can see where this is going...' "And I was hoping that, what with your fondness for the fillies, you could keep an eye on them and ensure that they don't ruin my Boutique whilst I bring the dresses here instead?" 'Yep, there it is.'

"So let me get this straight. You want me to babysit your sister and her friends, keeping an eye on them and ensuring they don't turn your home into a school sequel, whilst you showcase your clothing to the other girls?" I ask, the mare nodding hopefully. Leaning back into the couch, I sigh in resignation. 'Sure, whatever. Fixes my boredom, at least.' "Yea, why not. Not like I had anything else planned anyway." I answer, much to Rarity's relief. If I didn't know any better, I would also say that Twilight appeared relieved at my response. 'What? Does she not want me in the library?'

"Oh, thank you ever so much, darling." '~What can I say except, you're welcome~'

"No problem, Snowflake. Are they there now?" I ask, referencing the Crusaders themselves. Receiving a nod from the fashionista, I stand up from the couch and make my way towards the front door, grabbing my coat. Throwing it on with a flourish, I turn back around to see Twilight and Rarity talking in hushed voices. "What are you two up to?" I ask, giving the pair an inquisitive look as they looked over towards me.

"Oh, Rarity was just telling me how much she...uh... appreciates you doing this for her! Right, Rarity?" Says Twilight, turning to the mare in question. 'I heard that stutter, Sparky. You're plotting something, I know you are.'

"Why of course, darling! With dear Spike in Canterlot, the lucky dragon, I had nopony else to ask but you." She explains, turning and heading towards the front door. "And, knowing how close you and those fillies are, I didn't think I could ask anypony better." 'And you're in on it as well, Snowflake, don't think I'm not on to you both.' Even though I knew the pair were up to something, I decided to play along. For now, at least, until I could find out just what it was that they were planning.

"Fair enough." I shrugged, opening the door for the white unicorn. Smirking, the mare looked up towards me, fluttering her eyelashes.

"Such a gentlecolt, Alex. Why, you'll make a mare lucky some day." Smirking, I step outside of the library, closing the door and waving goodbye to Twilight on the way out. 'Is it me...Or did she seem a bit excited as I was leaving. The hell are they planning?'

"If I had a bit for every time I've been told that, then I'd be the richest man alive." '...Actually, I'm the only man in Equestria. By that logic, and the fact that I have some money on me right now, I technically am the richest man alive! Suck it up, Bezos.'

Our walk to the Boutique was not long, and after a quick chat with a few passing ponies, who suspiciously seemed to be heading towards the library, we'd arrived. We weren't even inside the building yet and I could already hear the Crusaders having fun inside. Of course, Rarity wasn't sharing their apparent enthusiasm if her expression said anything.

"Oh dear, what mess are about to walk into?" She groans, bringing her hoof to her forehead dramatically. Rolling my eyes at the mare, I shake my head as I move towards the front door.

"Lighten up, Snowflake. It can't be that bad." No sooner had I said that, a loud crash was heard from within the boutique, followed by a worried sounding Sweetie Belle. 'Oh who am I kidding. It's the Crusaders, of course it's going to be bad.'

"You were saying?" Giving the mare a sheepish smile, I reach towards the door, gripping the handle. Pushing the door open, the pair of us step inside, revealing exactly what Rarity was dreading and then some. The entirety of her workshop was a complete and utter mess; dresses ripped, mannequins toppled, fabrics strewn across the floor. 'Yep, this is the Crusader's handiwork alright. And hey! Speak of the devils!' Those responsible for the state of the room were, quite coincidentally, standing right in the middle of it.

"What in Celestia's name happened in here!?" Rarity screeched, horrified at the scene in front of her. Startled, the fillies quickly turned their heads turned towards us, and their eyes widened in both surprise and guilt when they beheld just who it was that had shouted. 'You're in deep shit now, kid.'

"Erm...H-hi sis! Uh...S-sorry about the mess." Sweetie stuttered, swallowing nervously at the sight of her furious sibling. Seeing Rarity about to give the three an absolute earful, and knowing that my ears would probably be bleeding by the end of it, I go about diffusing the situation as peacefully as I can.

"Okay, Rarity? I can see you're upset-"

"Oh that's putting it lightly, darling." 'Let me finish, you bitch.'

"-but do keep in mind that they're just foals." I say, getting a sharp glare in response. Before she could begin ranting, I hold up a hand to silence her. "Tell you what, Rarity. How about you get those dresses of yours to the library, go flaunt them about or whatever it is you're going to do, whilst I stay here and make sure that these three little rascals stay here and tidy their mess. Sound good, everypony?" Giving the Crusaders a look that just oozed 'Say-Yes-Or-Else', they promptly began voicing their agreements to both myself and Rarity, already moving to sort the room out.

"Very well, Alex, I can agree to that." Rarity finally says, much to the relief of the three fillies. Making her way towards her own private workshop, the unicorn her head towards the fillies. "But I want everything exactly how it was before I had left, do you understand?" She demands, waving her hoof around the room.

"No problem, sis!"
"Ya' got it!"
"We got this, don't worry!" Satisfied with their responses, Rarity nods and enters her private workshop, the door closing behind her. A minute later, and she returned from the room with a number of bags, the dresses that she plans to show to the other mares most likely contained within them. 'I wonder if she's gotten around to making what I'd asked for. I'll ask her later.' Like the upstanding citizen that I am, I move to open the front door for her, the mare shaking her head as I do so. 'What? I'm being nice.'

"Darling, must you get every door for me? Whilst I do find it endearing, I'm not incapable of opening a door, you do realise?" She says, bringing a hoof to her horn. 'Well alright then, Mrs Independent.'

"And here I thought you loved being treated as a lady. But by all means, do it yourself." I shrug, shutting the door and stepping away. As expected, she did not look impressed.

"Stallions." She mutters, opening the door with her magic and stepping out into the streets of Ponyville. "Keep a good eye on them, Alex. I don't wish to return home later to find it reduced to rubble."

"Don't you worry, Snowflake. I'll keep a good eye on them. Anything they break, just blame Twilight." Hearing this, the mare turns back around, her expression one of confusion.

"Twilight? Why would Twilight be at fault?" 'Why wouldn't she be at fault?'

"Dunno. Just because. See you later, sweetheart." And with that, the door closes, leaving myself and the Crusaders alone in the Boutique.

"Is she gone?" Asks a hopeful Scootaloo, moving away from a half open wardrobe. Turning to face the three fillies, I notice that all of them were neglecting in their duties of cleaning the room. 'Oi, no breaks in my sweatshop thank you very much.'

"Who told you lot to stop cleaning?" I say, crossing my arms, smirking at them.

"But-"

"Don't 'but' me, Scoots. You messed this place up, you get to fix this place up. Now get back to work, you lot. The sooner you finish, the sooner you can get back to searching for your 'Cutie Marks', or whatever it is us Crusaders are meant to be doing." Letting out an annoyed groan, Scootaloo nevertheless returns to where she'd left of, collecting ripped pieces of fabric from the floor, whilst Sweetie and Applebloom worked together to re-stand a fallen mannequin. Heading into Rarity's kitchen and finding myself something to drink, I return to where the Crusaders were working and threw myself onto the couch, much to the chagrin of the fillies. 'Sue me, you adorable lil' bastards.'

"Oh come on, really? We have to slave away doing all this whilst you just lie there doing nothing?" 'I'll do what I want, kid.'

"Yup."

"But that's not fair!"

"Life's not fair. Now get back to cleaning, else I'll find more jobs for you to do." 'Fuck me, I sound like my mother.' Seeing as how there was no further use in arguing with me, Scootaloo turned back to doing what it was she was doing, mumbling under her breath about the unfairness of the situation. 'Suck it up.'

"Mr Greyson?" Out of nowhere, Sweetie had appeared next to the couch. Turning my head to the side, I see the unicorn filly staring up at me with her big, puppy dog eyes. 'Alright men! This is the moment of truth! You will not fear! You will not falter! You will not give a single step to the enemy!'

"What're you up to, kid?"

"Can you please help us? Please?" She pleads, clasping her hooves together, her cuteness increasing tenfold 'Oh for fuck sake, this just isn't even fair!'

"Sweetie, I'm not helping you lot clean up this mess. Y'all dug your own grave, now you get to lie in it." Hearing the disappointed whimper that I got in response, I'm positive that a part of my soul died. "But I tell you what," I continue, rising up from the couch, "if you three have this place completely spotless within the hour, I'll find something to reward you lot with. How's that sound?" Judging by the way her muzzle lit up, along with Scootaloo's and Applebloom's, I guessed that such a compromise would suit them. Within seconds, the filly had returned to her friends, and the three fillies were now working twice as hard to clean the room within the hour. Chuckling at their newfound enthusiasm, I take note of the time before lying back down onto the couch, closing my eyes. 'One small nap wouldn't hurt.'

"WE'RE DONE!"

"AH JESUS CHRIST!" I cry, falling off of the couch and onto the floor, much to the amusement of the Crusaders. Propping myself up against the couch, I take a minute to allow the three fillies to get their laughs at my misfortune out of the way. Eventually, the three calmed down, allowing me to finally get a word in.

"Are you three done laughing at my pain and misery?" Nodding, the three gesture around the room, giving me smug looks.

"So what do we win?" Sweetie asks, the three fillies now awaiting their reward. To be quite honest, I didn't actually have a reward in mind, as I doubted that they'd manage to tidy the room in the hour that I'd given them. In my defence, the place looked like an absolute mess, so I thought it would take them longer. 'Serves me right for believing that they wouldn't do it. Fuck what I think, right?'

"Well colour me impressed girls, you actually did it? Huh. Good job."

"That's right! When we put our minds to it, we can do anything!" Cheers Scootaloo, the other two Crusaders quickly following suit in her celebratory cheering. I couldn't hold back my smile at the scene. It reminded me of my sister, back when- 'Stop it, Alex. Only bad memories lie there.' "So what's our reward?" She asks, turning the topic back onto their prize and bringing me back out of my thoughts. Scratching the back of my neck, I chuckle nervously.

"Well, about that...I didn't actually think you three would manage it in the hour, so I uh...don't have a reward." Upon hearing this, their muzzles dropped, and they stared at me in disbelief at what I'd just said. 'Hehe...Woops?'

"W-what!? But you said that-"
"Now just wait a minute! Ya' said-"
"Oh come on, Alex!? You-"

"ALRIGHT ALRIGHT I GET IT!" I shout over them, silencing their cries of my unfairness. Seeing as how they'd never shut up if I didn't keep up my end of the deal, I take a deep breath, already knowing that I'd most likely regret what was about to come out of my mouth. 'Forgive me God.' "What would you three like, then?" For a few moments, they just stayed there, blinking at me. Then the three looked to each other, and moved away from me, forming a small circle to discuss what they were going to ask for.

I couldn't quite distinguish what they were saying as their whispers were to quiet for me to pick up on. This went on for about 20 seconds, before the three unanimously nodded and moved to stand in front of me again.

"You three thought of something then?" They nodded, yet remained silent. "Well? Are one of you going to tell me, then?" Stepping forward, Sweetie mutters something intelligible, to which I shuffle closer towards her to hear her better. "Come again?" She does so, yet I still can't hear a word that she's saying. "Kid, I literally can't hear a single word you're saying." Shuffling forward one last time, now literally within an inch of the trio, I'm about to ask one final time as to what it is they wanted, when Sweetie Belle suddenly smiles in victory. 'Oh fuc-'

"NOW GIRLS!" It took me a second to figure out what was happening, but that was all they needed. I realised to late what had just happened. They'd set a trap, and I'd sprung it gloriously. Before I could do anything, the three fillies jumped towards me, the sudden impact to my chest forcing me backwards and onto the floor once more. It then took me another second to realise that I wasn't being murdered by three giggling fillies not even a quarter of my size, but that they were instead trying to hold me down. '...They do realise I'm, like, five times as strong as them, right?...Apparently not.'

"Good job, Crusaders! The evil human has been captured!" Scootaloo cries from my left, lying on top of my arm. To my right, Applebloom was doing the same. Meanwhile, Sweetie Belle was standing on my chest, giggling at how powerless I must've appeared. "Maybe next time he'll think twice before breaking his promises!" 'I never promised you jack, you little shit.'

"Oh no, I'm being held against my will by three, adorable, to-cute-for-their-own-good fillies. Whatever shall I do?" Rolling my eyes at their antics, I can't help but laugh anyway at what I was looking at. My laughter soon stopped when I realised that I wasn't the only one laughing.

"Well darling, I do believe that in this situation, then the guards would have to be called."

"I don't know, Rarity. I think this might be a case for the Princesses." Shifting my head to the side, I spotted both Rarity and Twilight standing in the doorway, giggling away at my misfortune. Wanting to retain at least some of my dignity, I give up on the whole powerless charade and lift my arms up, both Scootaloo and Applebloom hanging on and letting out a high pitched squeal as I did so. Before Sweetie could do anything either, I brought all three of them onto my chest, wrapping an arm around the trio as I pushed myself off of the floor with the other. With the three mischievous fillies now secured and snuggling into my chest, I pumped my fist into the air in triumph. 'Huzzah, I overpowered my captors. I feel so accomplished.'

"Nope, I got this all under control. The Princesses can sleep easy." I boast, the two unicorns shaking their heads at my antics, before Rarity's eyes suddenly widen in worry. 'Oh here we go.'

"Oh no! My bags!" She exclaims, looking over both herself and then Twilight, the latter looking at her in concern. "I must have left them at the library!" 'Her bags, hmm? What are you up to, Snowflake?'

"Are these the ones with those dresses of yours?" I ask, the mare frantically nodding in response. Shrugging, I gesture to the door. "Then... should we go get them then?"

"Oh we simply must, darling! So much time and effort has gone into those dresses...why, I can't even fathom the thought of losing them. Or worse, the dresses being damaged somehow!" Throwing a hoof to her forehead, the distressed mare levitates the couch that I'd been lying minutes ago towards her and dramatically collapses onto it. 'Bloody drama queen.' Looking over to Twilight, she just shrugs and, nodding her head to door, exits the Boutique. Following her, with the Crusaders still quite comfortable with their situation, I also exit the Boutique, Rarity quickly recovering and following thereafter.

Ignoring their disappointed whines, I release the fillies back onto the ground, before then turning back to the open door. As I'm closing it, I become aware of the hushed whispering coming from behind me. Straining my ears, I'm annoyed to find that, like the Crusaders before them, I couldn't make anything out. 'They've got to be planning something. Does it involve the dresses? Am I gonna get jumped in an alley? Are they gonna jump me in an alley and then force me to wear the dresses?' Locking the door, I make my way back to the group, where an innocent looking pair of unicorns and a trio of fillies were waiting expectantly.

"Well I do believe that we have spent enough time dawdling. Let us head back to the library to collect my dresses, and then we may call it a day." And with that, our little merry band began heading away from the boutique, and towards the library. Within a minute of our journey, I noticed something odd. 'There's a severe lack of ponies out and about... am I missing something? Some pony holida- wait a second, those ponies from earlier, the ones heading towards the library...Hmm, something's going on, and it involves a hell'va lot more ponies than just Sparky and Snowflake over there. Best keep my eyes open.'

"Well, here we are!" Twilight says as we come to a stop in front of the library. Taking a good look at it, I couldn't really see anything suspicious. 'Rainbow isn't hiding on the roof, is he? Or Pinkie? Hell, I may have been inside the library an the boutique all day, but I usually see at least one of them every day. Mainly Pinkie, the pink lil' psychopath.'

Turning my attention away from the building and towards the streets, my suspicions only increased when I saw that, like it was outside the boutique, the streets were absent of ponies. 'It's just like the Zecora incident, except this time, there's no Zecora...I think? The girls haven't said anything yet, though... This shit's weird, mate.' Keeping my thoughts to myself, I turn back to the group, only to see that they were no longer there. 'The fuck? The hell'd they go?'

"Are ya' comin', Alex?" Applebloom says, standing in the doorway. 'Oh, the library. That's why the door's open, you blind bastard.' Stepping into the library, throwing one last paranoid look over my shoulder as I do so, I turn back to the face the group, my face one of confusion.

"Right, I can't be the only one whose noticed the severe lack of ponies out there? Like seriously, what-"

"SURPISE!" 'JESUS FUCKING CHRIST'

"-THE FUCK!?" I scream, falling backwards onto my arse. Standing right in the middle of the room was what must have been at least 3/4 of Ponyville itself. How the hell they'd all managed to fit inside is beyond me, but seeing as how there were some ponies in the stairwell, the kitchen, and quite possibly upstairs, it must have been a tight fit. 'How in the fuck did I not see them as I came in!? You fuckin' blind or something, Alex?' In addition, there was also a large banner above the ponies, with the obviously hastily painted words of 'Alex-Greyson-Is-A-Hero!' written onto it. 'Daww, that's cute.'

"O-Oh man, big guy! Y-you should see y-your face!" Rainbow struggles to say, most likely due to the fact that she was currently laughing her arse of, along with everyone else in the room. Except me, of course. I was still sat on the floor waiting for my heart to stop trying to burst out of my chest à la Alien chestburster.

"Ya' need a hand, sugarcube?" Asks Applejack, offering her hoof. Nodding, I grip it and, in a surprising show of strength, the mare pulls me off of the floor and onto my feet. 'Fuck, how strong is she?' Wiping myself down, I take a good, hard look at the massed group of ponies inside the library, their laughter dying down into silence. The silence was then broken by the sound of clapping, coming my hands. '

"So whose grand plan was this then?" I say, giving the crowd a lighthearted smirk. Truth be told, I already had a good guess as to was responsible, with the mare that I was thinking of already bouncing towards me with one foreleg raised in the air. 'Of course it would be her. Who else would it be?'

"Surprise! It was ~meeee~! Were you surprised? Wait, of course you were surprised! We surprised you so hard you fell on your butt you were that surprised!" Came the ever exuberant Pinkie Pie, literally bouncing up and down, circling me as she talked.

"That you did, Pinkie. That you did. So this explains why the town has been so mysteriously quiet today. So you were all just preparing this? A massive party for me?" A chorus of 'yes' and 'of course' was my answer. Nodding, I chuckle at the absurdity of the situation. 'So what did you do today? Of? Well that's nice. Me? Of you know, got jumpscared by a fuckton of multi-coloured ponies who wanted to throw me a party. Y'know, just Tuesday things right?' "Well, I'm not one to say no to a party. Especially if there's alcohol involved...There is alcohol involved, right?"

"Well, it mightn't be Apple Cider season jus' yet, but ah' thought that ah' may as well-" 'Say no more.'

"Point me to it, Texas." I interrupt, praying to every deity that I'd ever heard of that, unlike Flash's pitiful excuse of an alcohol, Applejack's 'cider' would actually be halfway decent. Guiding me to the barrel in question, she places a mug under the tap, twisting it and letting the cider flow. Passing me the now full mug of cider, I snatch the mug from her hoof and, to the surprise and amazement of all those present, down it in one go, the liquid rushing down my throat. 'Well fuck me sideways, they actually CAN brew something decent in this world!'

"Applejack?"

"Sugarcube?"

"Marry me?" 'Please?'

"Ah'll think about it, sugarcube. For now, how bout' we get this here party started!" Within seconds, the room became a flurry of activity, with drinks being passed around (the foals being given what I could only guess to be something non-alcoholic) and ponies forming their own little groups. As for me, I was perfectly content to chill with the massive barrel of cider that Applejack had so graciously brought, conversing with anypony who wanted to talk to me. Those who did were mainly those who wanted to express their admiration of what I'd done for the Crusaders two weeks ago, with the exception of a few unknown mares asking if I had a 'marefriend' back home. When I told them that I didn't, I'm quite positive that a large percentage of the mares in the library turned their heads toward me, some of whom were already married. 'Oh look, I'm turning into the Equestrian variant of Charlie Sheen.'

As the night went on, a large portion of those present called it a day and returned home, including the Crusaders, much to their annoyance. Those remaining in the library were of a smaller, yet familiar bunch; me, Twilight, Rainbow, Applejack, Lyra, her closet girlfriend Bon Bon, a mare who I didn't recognise yet looked quite shifty, Vinyl, and a bunch of other ponies whose names I either didn't know or had forgotten. Most likely the latter, with the amount of cider I'd drunk this night. 'Drink till' you drop, and even then I ain't gon' stop! HOY!'

"Hey big guy!" Rainbow called from across the room, hovering in the air. "How about we play a game!" This grabs the attention of all those still present, who turn their attention towards us the two of us in the centre of the library. Moving away from the barrel of cider that had been my best friend for the past hour, I step forward, intrigued by Rainbow's suggestion. 'Oh?'

"A game, skittles? What kinda game?"

"A drinking game of course! What else?" Comes her playful reply, those in the library having mixed reactions at the prospect. Whilst some seemed excited at the prospect, others seemed worried, whispering about the amount of alcohol I'd already consumed that night. 'If I'm still conscious, then it's not enough.'"Unless you're a lightweight, then-" She didn't even get to finish her sentence before a table and two chairs had been placed before her, with me already sitting down at one end of the table.

"Let's fuckin' go then, you cocky twat." Grinning, she took her place at the opposite end of the table, whilst Applejack came over and began placing mugs on the table, the rest of the ponies forming a circle around us. This night would definitely be one to remember. That is, if I didn't drink myself into a coma. Raising her mug to the air, Rainbow gave me a cocky grin, apparently believing that she had this in the bag. 'Oh just you wait. I'm about to absolutely ruin your life.'

"You know, you can always back out if you wa-"

"Rainbow, I'm gonna drink you under the table, over the table, and through the fuckin' table."

"On yer' marks... get set... GO!" And for the next hour, this is exactly what the both of us did. Drink, drink, and drink. I couldn't remember anything past the 8th mug of cider, though those still at the party later filled me in on what had happened.

Apparently, I was true to my word. I was told that after Rainbow blacked out after her 18th mug, I'd jumped up from where I was sat and, during my celebratory dance, which I was told consisted of a lot of cussing and gesturing involving my middle fingers, I'd thrown Rainbow over my shoulder and proceeded to slip over the spilt remains of her drink, the pair of us crashing through the table itself, knocking me unconscious as well. Whilst we were both completely hammered, I was most definitely the undisputed winner of our little contest. 'That should have come as a surprise to nopony at all. I'm Alexander Greyson, boys and girls, and there isn't any chance in hell that a bloody pony of all things was gonna out-drink me.'

Still, it was most definitely he funnest night I'd had since coming here. The hangover the next morning, though? 'That shit was the stuff of nightmares.' It was only made worse by the knowledge that Twilight had a cure for it, yet refused to give it to me. Her reasoning for this was, and I quote, "I quite liked that kitchen table." Still, I now had something I could rub Rainbow's face in, and most importantly, I'd discovered a halfway decent alcohol. 'All's well that ends well.'

Author's Notes:

And they said I'd never amount to anything. (Cheers again for the feedback, mate. Much appreciated.)

To those who play Warhammer 40K, there's a lil' reference to my favourite DoW game in here. Can you find it?

Anyway, this was a fun chapter to write. Greyson babysat the Crusaders, got Pinkie'd at the library, found a good alcohol courtesy of Applejack, and then completely destroyed Rainbow at a drinking contest. Along with Twilight's kitchen table. And most likely Rainbow's legs, but I digress.

See you in the next chapter, folks! Peace.

EDIT - Also deleted all of the (Alexander) POV parts at the top. I'm sure you're all smart enough to figure out when the OC is speaking, especially when he's swearing at everypony else.