The Journey of a Thousand Miles, Begins With a Simple Misunderstanding.

Adrenaline. It is a truly wondrous thing. Junkies live on it, Olympic athletes need it, professional fighters rely on it. Adrenaline gives you that edge you need to either fight, or take flight in what could very well be a dangerous situation, where your very life may depend on your choice and it's outcome.

It's also a very useful thing to have when you're trying to outrun a gang of very angry men, determined to beat the ever lasting shit out of you.

"GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PISSANT!" Cried one of the men.

"I'LL KICK YOUR FUCKIN TEETH IN, YOU WANKER!" Shouted another.

"OH COME ON, BOYS! CAN WE ALL JUST BE FUCKIN CIVILISED AND SHIT FOR A SECOND?" I shout back, still running like hell. "IT WAS ALL JUST ONE BIG MISUNDERSTANDING! I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR GIRL! IF I KNEW MATE, I WOULDN'T OF EVEN TALKED TO HER!" 'Hey, now that I've told them it was all one big misunderstanding, maybe they'll stop chasing me and-'

"YOUR GONNA FUCKIN REGRET COMIN NEAR MY GIRL, YOU FUCKIN PRICK!" 'Oh. Guess not. Well, lets just keep running then, cause he does not sound like the happiest individual.'

Turning the corner, I find myself with two options. Either I carry on running down the well lit road, hoping that I find myself running into a police officer of sorts who could help me calmly diffuse the situation, and also ensure that I keep all my teeth at the same time, or I can run blindly into that darkly lit alleyway, where any number of 'respectable' members of society could be residing. Not to mention the fact that if I was caught in there by my new found friends, my kneecaps would most likely be smashed by Cunt McGee and company, who were quickly catching up to me. So, either carry on running, or take the stupid option and hope for the best. Be smart, or be an idiot.

I am an honest to God fucking idiot.

Sprinting towards the alleyway, I'm just able to reach it before my pursuers turned the corner I was just at. Keeping to the shadows, I crouch behind a nearby dumpster, keeping low and watching out for the assholes chasing me. Taking a quick glance behind me, my heart drops. There's no exit. It's a wall. I quickly realise what a dumb decision I've made, and that my only hope now is that the men chasing me don't come looking for me here.

There's no time to berate myself, however, as I hear the men quickly approaching the alleyway in which I was cornered.

"Okay God, if you're real and have any love for this idiotic cunt, please don't let Gary McFuckface and friends find me. Please?" I plead to the darkened alleyway, hoping that some higher power might just hear this poor sinners plea.

"Where did the little bastard get off to?" The leader growled.

"Maybe he ran straight down the road?" Another said. 'Oh please listen to this fine man. Please just listen to this son of a bi- '

"Nah boys, I reckon he's hiding down this alley" 'Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh FUCK. Whose great fucking idea was it to conceive this bastard?'

'This aint good, Alex. You've really fucked yourself here, mate. Hope you aint too attached to your kneecaps, you fucking idiot'.

Realising that the chances of me getting out of here in anything but an ambulance are now slim as all hell, I pick up a nearby brick and prepare myself for a fight. However, God himself must have heard my plea, as I received a miracle in the form of a Deus ex machina.

"Okay lads, what do you think you're all up to?" Somebody shouted, some distance from the alley. 'Oh? A concerned citizen?'

"Heh, hey PC" 'Well holy fucking shit, It's only a god damn constable! Fucking A, my luck has taken a turn.' "How's your night going?" The leader shouted back, trying his hardest (and failing at that) to not sound suspicious.

"It's going fine, Dean. Better question is, how's yours? Cause I've heard reports that not too long ago you were seen chasing a young man out of a nearby pub, for talking to a girl? And, seeing as how I've heard some rumours about how you've threatened other blokes to talking to your missus before, I get the feeling these reports have some merit. Am I right?" 'Oh my lord, this man is my goddamn saviour! I'd kiss him if swung that way.'

"Nah man. We just had a little misunderstanding, you know how it is. Just wanted to... uh... work it out with the guy, you know?" The leader, now known as Dean, replied.

'Oh yea, work it out of my broken fingers ya mean, ya prick' I vehemently thought to myself, thank god. I doubt that they wouldn't have probably heard me otherwise, and that's the last thing I needed.

"Yea? Well I think you've worked it out fine enough. Take your boys and go home, you've caused enough trouble for one night, let's not have the situation escalate any further, eh?" 'Oh come on boys, do what the good man says and fuck off, would ya?'

Dean sighed. "All right, all right, I got you. We'll go, but if you see the guy let him know that my bird is off bloody limits, y'hear?" My saviour chuckled in turn.

"I'm sure by now he understands that message already. Go on now, get going" He replied. And with that, Dean and the rest of the tossers walked off to parts unknown, hopefully to never be seen again. Which, knowing my luck, would probably be unlikely. 'I'd best not go near that pub for a while, let things blow over. Then I'll go back, probably get punched in the teeth, and proceed to get hammered. That's a plan.'

With Dean and the gang now out of sight, the officer who saved my sorry ass from being kicked from here to Trafalgar decided that, with the situation resolved, he could now carry on doing whatever it was that he had originally been doing. And with both parties gone, and me seemingly in the clear, I got my sorry self out from behind the dumpster and got the fuck out of dodge.

A few minutes later, I came to a stop in an underpass some distance from the alleyway I had taken temporary refuge in. Taking a moment to catch my breath, I reflected on the events that took place tonight. Mainly the one thing that instigated the entire situation, and I gave myself some solid advice that all males should take seriously if they fancy

"Whew..... okay.... next time... I talk to a girl.... make sure.... she aint taken... already... Jesus Christ..." Panting, I slid down the wall, deciding that it would be best to just rest up for a second or two. However, even though I was sure that I had escaped the men who had been dead set on introducing my face to solid concrete, paranoia had taken its toll on me, and I had a nagging feeling that something rather unpleasant was going to happen to me any second now. And with that, I decided that it would be best if I got inside somewhere safe, mainly somewhere warm and with a decent bed.

Getting up from the dirty floor of the underpass, I continued on my way. Coming out of the underpass, however, I quickly realised that I'd somehow found myself in a familiar neighbourhood. My neighbourhood.

'Hallelujah, I'm home free! Chuckling at my continued streak of good fortune, I turned right and began heading through the park. It's an easy route from here, just through the park, across the road, turn the corner and I'm sorted. My lovely, definitely-not-run-down-and-shitty apartment just waiting for me to get there. And the bed. Oh god that bed is going to be mine. As soon as I got there, I'd be safe and sound.'

Unfortunately, the universe had other ideas in mind, as no sooner was I halfway through the tranquil park that something.... strange happened. I began to feel.. warm? Happy? It felt as if a pleasant, unseen aura had enveloped my entire body, inducing me into a state of sudden euphoria. This only lasted a few seconds, however, before I shook myself out of my stupor and carried on as if nothing happened. Looking around, I realised I was alone in the dimly lit park, with only a few insects scurrying about for company

'Must be the after effects of what I've been through tonight. Fuckin with my system. Yeah...Yeah that's what it was. I'll get myself some sleep and be sorted and sound in the morning. That's a good shout, that' I concluded, trying to rationalise the strange euphoria I had just experienced.

"Still, what the hell was that? Like seriously, that aint normal. I've gotten wasted before and I have never felt like that. Next thing I know I'll be achieving Nirvana like that Buddha bloke, or falling down Alice's rabbit hole" I joked to myself.

In retrospect, the latter was not actually that far off. Also, I need to learn to shut my fucking mouth. It'll be the death of me.

Lost in thought, I didn't notice the strange lights surrounding my body until I noticed that the park had suddenly become a little bit brighter, due to my spontaneous transformation into a human lamp. Shrieking in alarm, I was paralysed at the sight of my arms being covered in what looked like tiny... stars? Stars...and...moons?

'Did someone spike my fucking drink?' Believing myself to merely be seeing things, I began shaking my head in a vain attempt to dispel what I was seeing. It didn't work. I then slapped myself. Hard. It still didn't do jack. Coming to the conclusion that hurting myself would do nothing more than cause myself unneeded pain, I did the one thing that came to mind in such a unnatural situation. I screamed. A girly scream. Yea, not my proudest moment. Recovering from my sudden lapse in masculinity, I did the next best thing.

"WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FU-" I was unable to finish my shout, however, for as quickly as the sparkly celestial miniatures had appeared on me, circling and dancing around my body like a moth to a flame, they had disappeared.

And me along with them.

Author's Notes:

And it begins. Here is the prelude introducing our knight in swearing armour, Alexander Ian Greyson, and the events leading up to his sudden departure from our world, and into his new home. The next chapter will be him falling face first (quite possibly literally) into Equestria, and trying to figure out what in the hell just happened to him, and whether or not his sanity is in question. Hint: It really is

Whilst I think there aren't too many errors here, I know for a fact that I am not perfect, and neither is anybody else. So it is inevitable that there will be mistakes and errors here and there, and I will try my best to keep them to a minimum. However, should you spot any, please tell me in the comments where they are so that I can rectify them. Also, don't be afraid to leave any feedback, positive or negative. I'm a big boy, and I can handle it.

I think

If people actually do enjoy this story and the gentlemanly vocabulary of our protagonist, and the misadventures he'll be getting up to, then do please favourite, like and overall shower me with positivity and encouragement. It helps me sleep at night. And with that, I hope you all have a great day/night. Peace.