My first full day in Magiville was shaping up to be a rough one shortly after breakfast. Granny Smith washed the dishes, passed them off to me to be dried, and I gave them to Apple Bloom to be put away. Applejack and MacIntosh were busy asking Ty about everything he was willing to do and then some in the living room, so I figured that they were going to give him a shitty to-do list and expect him to get it done without having any experience in farmwork. It threw me through a fucking loop when Applejack clapped Ty on the shoulder and told him that Big MacIntosh would be mentoring him for the day. I traded a look with Ty and we hashed it out with the usual method, so he played it cool with Mac and tried to get a couple words out of him, but the diesel farm boy was stoic as fuck. It didn’t matter anyway; once Ty got started the only thing you can do to get him to shut up is shove a bottle in his hand or a blunt in his fingers.

When they were heading out, Applejack turned to me and waved me over since I was pretty much just ear-hustlin’, so I didn’t even bother trying to act like I wasn’t listening. “I’m guessin’ we’re workin’ together today?”

She gave me a devious smile. “Not quite, Sugar. Fortunately for Ty, he looks like he can whack a tree good enough to shake it good in two swings. Unfortunately for you, that means we got unskilled hands on the farm and nothin’ to do with ‘em.”

I let my default expression take over. “I’m shoveling. Just don’t make me do it in these shoes.”

Her little smile got even worse. “Oh, if you’re careful and watch out, ya won’t step in a single droppin’. That ain’t whatcha should be worried about.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I get it Applejack, domination is your kink. I’m not fond of bein’ stopped from gettin’ my shit done, so lemme at it already.”

“You’re no fun, Sugar.” Applejack’s smile eased into an amused smirk. “No, the cows are good about rememberin’ their trainin’, so we don’t have to go out there too often to do much more n’ wash em. Which is what we’re doin’, if ya didn’t guess.”

“Sweet. Step one?” I asked, honing in.

I got a weird look. “Well, we gotta go outside first. And step two will be the barn, if that’s your next question.”

“Is this how you flirt or somethin’?” I asked.

I got another look, but it was a bitchy one this time. “Like I said, I ain’t exactly desperate, bud.”

That one missed whatever target she was throwing at. “That’s not answerin’ the question.”

Applejack glared at me, then stopped glaring and looked off to the side for a few seconds. “No, that’s not how I flirt. Why was I even upset with yeah?” She looked back to me with confusion on her face.

“I don’t know, but we got work to do.” I said, trying to get us onto our task.

She gave me an amused look. “C’mon then, I guess. If you’re really that eager to wash a bunch ‘a cows that’ll lick ya ta death...”

“I’m not worried about them licking me, I’m worried about them stampeding or something. Animals don’t like me.”

“Good to know. If the herd starts moving, I’ll be sure to use you as my shield.”

“That’s probably not a bad plan. I repel animals pretty well.” I said, grimacing.

“Well that ain’t exactly somethin’ good for workin’ with animals.” Applejack said irritably.

“Look, I’m a mechanical guy, Applejack. You want something fixed, I can probably do the job, depending on what you give me to fix it with.” I scratched my cheek.

“And what would you know about farm repairs, City Slicker?” She asked.

I shrugged. “Got in trouble with Ty a lot when we were younger and one of the places we got sent as punishment was a farm. That’s where I learned that I’m a real handy-man when it comes to just about anythin', tellin’ it straight.”

“Right. Well, what do ya know about plumbin’? Because we got a leaky sink that needs fixin’, but there are more important things for Mac and I to be doin’.”

“Lemme take a look.” I gave her a smile because I was supposed to since I was trying to appear confident. In all honesty, I actually am good with my hands, it’s just that I like to tinker with things a lot more than I probably should.

Applejack went and got me some tools, so I got to work. I’m not going to go into detail about tightening up a few of the right bolts and doing a few other minor adjustments since they were boring, but when I stopped seeing the rough schematics of what I was doing, I knew that the moment was over and I was done for the time being. Applejack tried to fuck with me and run the tap before I could get my fat ass out from underneath the sink, but my repair had gone well and it was no longer leaking anyway. I gave her a triumphant smirk since I like doing a task well, but she returned my smirk with one of her own, though Applejack’s was scarier than mine.

“Oh buddy, I got some stuff I need ya ta do.” Applejack chuckled darkly. “And lucky you, it ain’t all here on the farm!”

I shrugged. “Whatever earns my keep, Boss Lady.”

She gave me another look. “Ya really jus’ ain’t no fun, Sugar. Usually when I tell people I got work for ‘em, they get all chicken-shit or try an’ run off while they think I ain’t ready for it.”

“... I just want to get started.” I said slowly. “I’ve never been a guy that don’t do shit all day.” Whether it was studying, fucking around with scrap, or hanging out with Ty, I never did nothing with my time. I like to keep busy.

“Ya got a real strong work ethic to ya, but don’t let that stop ya from havin’ a little fun. I’m gonna write ya a list of stuff I was supposed to go fix for a couple friends of mine, and if ya get back before sundown, I’ll throw in a few more tasks for ya to do. How’s that sound?” She gave me a familiar smile, recognizing that there’s something not quite right about me. It was a look I got from a lot of people when it came to work.

I gave her a half-hearted smile back. “I can have fun when I’m done.”

“I got a couple cousins who are kinda like you.” Applejack said softly. “I think they got whatever it is y’all have a little worse than you do.”

“They probably do. I was diagnosed as a savant, but that’s not really something I want to get into.”

“Ah, so you’re a real high-functionin’ special guy?” Applejack asked brutally.

I gave her a dead look. “The only thing ‘special’ about me is how much I fuckin’ hate that word.”

“I don’t see why. It ain’t exactly an insult.”

“Skip it. Get me that list so I can get started, please.”

“You really didn’t wanna-”

“Please.” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose.

She patted my shoulder. “Didn’t mean nothing by it, Sugar. I’ll go get you that list.”

I wondered if I could get away with it, so I suddenly seized Applejack, spun her around, ducked under the haymaker she threw at my face, and rushed her for a hug. She hit me twice before she realized that I was barely holding onto her. “Uh… Sugar, why are ya huggin’ me? Don’t get me wrong; lotta ladies would like to be where I am right now, but why?”

“Seemed like a good time to let you know that there’s no bad blood here, but you officially owe me two licks.” I let her go and rubbed my aching side.

Applejack was already blushing. “Sorry about that, Sugar, I really am, but I thought you were tryin’ somethin’ while my guard was down to be honest with ya.”

“I might try to sneak in another hug, so if someone spins you around while you’re hear on the farm, throw a high punch and I’ll be sure to duck.”

She scoffed at me. “You this touchy-feely with all the ladies?”

“Just the ones I respect.” I gave her a little flirt, the action still a little strange to me. I don’t have a problem flirting, it just always struck me as an odd thing.

That earned a modest smile from Applejack. “Next thing ya know, you’re gonna be tellin’ me that you’re totally into beefy girls.”

I shrugged. “I don’t really have a preference on body type to be honest with you, but now I’m actually flirtin’ and not gettin’ my tasks done.”

Her brows raised a bit and her cheeks pinked slightly, so I figured that the flirtation had landed well. It was confirmed after she said, “Alright, alright. I’ll get ya your list, and quick like too, if ya do me one little favour.”

“What’s the favour?” I asked, having a vague feeling where it was going after having been dragged down the path with Ty more times than I care to count.

Applejack turned her face and tapped her cheek. “Give me some sugar and I’ll get to writin’.”

I gave her a quick peck since that was what she asked for, though I’d thought she was about to play hooky for a little while and try to fuck me. “Easy enough.”

The smile on her face made the simple gesture worth it, but when she actually did what she said she would do is when I started giving a fuck instead of the half I’d been working with. Applejack got my list to me and I started getting some more plumbing around the farmhouse fixed up before I moved onto some good old fashioned fence work. Shit sucked, but it was on my to-do list, so I got it done as well as I could instead of trying to get everything done as soon as possible. Getting the gate back onto the fence was tricky since it was heavy as fuck in the first place, but other than that, everything around the farm was something I’d already done at some point in time either around the hood as a side-hustle or around the house to keep the shit from getting moldy.

I took my list of crap to do and went into Magiville since Twilight’s crazy ass tree was first on my list of places to visit. Y’know, other than the place I started. Anyway, the walk over there was boring since pedestrians are weak to their automobile owning superiors, but I doubted that cars existed on Arkaid since that would just be fucking weird. I mean, the roads in town are cobbled together out of stone and the roads outside of town are all dirt, so why have cars? I gave that some thought up until someone came too close for me to be comfortable, which isn’t saying all that much to be honest. I just like my space.

“Hey there! Are you new to town?” A woman with pale blue hair and sky blue eyes asked.

I stopped walking and waited for her to come a little closer, though it was weird to just stop in the middle of the street. “Yeah, my brother and I just kinda popped in. What’s up?”

She gave me a pretty smile, and she was a pretty woman. So far, I’d yet to scope a girl who was less than a five during my walk, and even then a little makeup wouldn’t exactly bring most of them down. I thought it was odd that a solid seven and a half was giving me the time of day at all since bitches be trippin’ when they think they’re above a six. Before she could say anything else, I was already trying to figure out her angle.

“Oh, nothing’s up. It’s just a little strange that you’re walking around in broad daylight and you haven’t been thrown a welcoming party quite yet.”

I shrugged. “Not a fan of parties anyway to be honest with you. Too many people.”

The woman mimicked me with a shrug of her own. “I never have understood the feeling of ‘too many people’, but then again, I’m not exactly shy.” She gave me another winning smile.

“I see. I’m sure you meet plenty of new people being as outgoing as you are.” I said neutrally.

“Well, not really. Being a Weather Woman keeps me busy most days. Helping organize schedules, making trips to Cloudsdale, getting out in the sky and busting clouds on occasion.” She smirked and shook her head. “I’d like to meet a lot of people, but that’s just not how the small town life works.”

“I kind of prefer the small town vibe, coming from a bigger city myself, though I can see where someone with your general levels of smile and chat might want a chance to get out and use it.”

The woman gave me a strange look, but she didn’t seem upset or particularly confused. “You’ve got an odd way of putting things, but I think that makes you fun to talk to. At least, so far. Would you happen to have some time to talk?”

I shook my head. “I’d love to do it right and actually get to know you a bit,” so I can figure out what you want from me, “but I’ve got more tasks on my to-do list and I rather need to get it done.”

She gave me a sad smile. “Aww, that’s no good! We’ll have to set something up, maybe fan the spark a little?”

Oh?

Warning!

A New Challenger Approaches!

I gave her an oblivious smile because it was one that had suited me well over the years, both when I meant to use it and when I didn’t. “I think you might like to meet my brother. Why don’t you bring a friend and I’ll bring him?”

The blue-haired woman beamed. “Oh, I’d love to, but you wouldn’t mind if I tried to set my friend up with your brother, would you? He isn’t taken at the moment, right?” She asked hopefully.

“I was actually kind of hoping you’d say something like that. My brother is really used to talking to women, unlike me, so he’s usually in their company.” I gave her the same oblivious smile and hoped she got the hint.

She got it alright, but it had the wrong effect. “Oh? So you’re not as experienced with women as your brother?”

“I usually talk to guys. Women don’t usually seem too interested in me after awhile.”

Her eyes narrowed for a second and I saw the pieces slide into place, making me resist the urge to fist-pump and laugh at her. “O-Oh… Um… So what’s your brother like, sweetie?”

“He’s busy like me right now, so my name is Jay,” I kept the same smile and offered her my hand, “and I need to be on my way.”

She accepted it without hesitation, which made me wonder if she was just averse to sleeping with someone who wasn’t quite all there in the head. “And I’m Nimbo Stratus, but my friends always call me Strats for some reason. I like it well enough, but I think it’s just because I’m the Coordinator for the Weather Team.”

“Strats for a strategist. I like it.” I nodded. “When do you want to meet up? I should be off the clock at seven tonight.”

“That’s perfect! My friend gets off at- Wait, no one has a dibs on you, right?” Strats asked.

I gave her an odd look. “What?”

“If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then it’s a no. How about we meet up in Magiville Square for a tour around town since you and your brother are new?” She batted her eyelashes at me.

Sounded useful to me. “Sure! I need to get goin’, but I’ll be sure to make your acquaintance at let’s say… Seven thirty? Ten minutes leeway before anyone gets irritated?”

Strats gave me a funny look. “Are you trying to give yourself ten minutes to be late?”

“No, I’m trying to give either of us a ten minute window before we start thinkin’ that we’ve been ditched.” I gave her a bright smile.

“I’ve waited a lot longer than just ten minutes for someone to show up.” Strats said, chuckling.

“So have I, but it’s rude to keep someone waitin’ for too long. Goodbye, Strats.” The oblivious smile returned.

“See you tonight, Jay.” She gave me a hug out of nowhere and I was a little creeped out by the sudden contact from a near stranger, but my days of freaking out over minor personal contact were long gone.

We parted ways and I glanced back to see that Strats lacked a bit in the ass department, but her chest made up for it in my book. I wasn’t much breast or butt guy, having been a member of the thick thigh theocracy since I hit puberty, but when a woman lacks what I like, then it’s nice to have the other two as consolation prizes. I turned around just as I saw her head begin to move and heard a low whistle for the umpteenth time since I’d entered town. Applejack hadn't been lying when she’d said that Ty and I would get propositioned soon after coming into town, but I didn’t like the whole dibs thing at all. It made me feel like someone was constantly coming after me, and I resolved to start lying and saying that someone did have some sort of claim. Hopefully it would help weed out some of the sketchy, slutty slaws that might be on the prowl.

I made my way to Twilight’s place after being stopped two more times, but I was a little less pleasant those times since I wanted nothing less than to be left alone so I could go and get my shit done. It was shaping up to be a rough day with all the attention I was already getting just by walking around, but I couldn’t very well let that get to me since I just don’t like to be obstructed. I'm stubborn as fuck, and when I knocked on Twilight’s door and didn’t get an answer, I got irritated. I was dead set on fixing the gutter Applejack was supposed to have fixed a week ago, so I set myself to the task by climbing up the side of Twilight’s house. The bark of the tree was rough, but it was strong enough to bear my weight and let me get up the eight or so feet I needed to start getting the thing put back together.

Then I fell on my ass.

Rinse and repeat that process six more times before I actually got the bolt that was loose back in place so the damned thing did its job. My back hurt and my ass was killing me like Mandingo had paid me an overnight visit, but It was worth it to be through with the task. I checked the list again and scratched my head since I didn’t know where the fuck the southernmost side of town was. I figured that I’d just head out into town and wait for someone else to hit on me since it had already happened multiple times in the course of a few dozen minutes.

I made my way into town and meandered about for a little bit until a young woman, most likely in her upper teens, stopped me with a smile and a gentle tug on my hand. She almost got decked until I saw the look on her face, though the pastel pink and purple hair threw me off a bit. “Hi there! You must be new to town, right?”

She didn’t let go of my hand and I suppressed the urge to smack her. “... Yeah. My brother and I just came in yesterday.”

The young woman let go. “Well, welcome to Magiville! If you ever need a hand, never feel afraid to ask for help.” She smiled pleasantly.

“Right, thanks. By the way, and speakin’ of askin’ for help, I’m looking for the southside of town. One of the co-owners of Sweet Apple Acres gave me a to-do list and I need to get to a woman named Fluttershy’s house so I can fix,” I checked the list, “‘Damn near every faucet in the house.’. Applejack’s words, not mine.”

The young lady chuckled. “That sounds like Applejack alright. She never was afraid to let loose a few bad words when the time came.”

I gave her a look. “Aren’t you a little old for ‘bad words’?”

She blushed and pouted. “Don’t make fun of my morals and convictions, Mister! I’ll poke you something fierce!”

I resisted the intense temptation to pat her head. “Please don’t poke me and please do point me toward the south part of town.”

The chick glared at me adorably. “Apologize for making fun of me and I’ll take you there myself.”

“I’m sorry for bein’ culturally uneducated.” I said, getting closer to actually being honest.

She gave me a funny look. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”

I tapped my chest. “In American culture, my culture, most people get used to cursing around ten or so.”

“That sounds awful strange, Mister. I mean, I’m eighteen and my sister’s twenty-one, but neither of us do much swearing. I think it might just be a guy thing.”

I shrugged. “It might be. Can we go now?”

“You remind me a bit of my friend Scootaloo.” She giggled. “She’s a busy body too.”

“I know your friend’s name, but not your name. I’m Jay, by the way.”

“I’m Sweetie Belle, but you can give me a nickname if you want. I know it’s a bit of a mouthful compared to a single letter.” Belle smiled at her little jab.

I looked at her as she grabbed my wrist and started dragging me along, but answered anyway despite my discomfort. “My full name is Jameson, but I prefer Jay. I guess I’ll be calling you Belle.”

She turned and gave me a pouty look. “That’s not very creative.”

“I don’t really know you very well either.” I pointed out.

“That’s fair, I guess. Hey, do you wanna stop and grab something to eat? My last tour paid off pretty well and I’d love to share the wealth with a new friend!”

“Last tour? Are you a singer or somethin’?” I asked.

I could see the hint of a sheepish smile from where I stood. “Well, I only got popular in the last few months, but you could say that I am.”

“Oh? I’m in the presence of a risin’ star?” I said.

“Just with girls and women around my age so far.” Belle said quickly. “I mean, I’m nowhere near someone like Sapphire Shores.”

“I’ll have to attend one of your concerts some time.” I would have flirted with her, but I rarely ever set my sights on someone younger than me. That, and I couldn't think of a way that sleeping with her would have benefited me at all.

“Just not going to comment on the Sapphire Shores thing, right?” She sighed.

“I don’t know who that is, so I can’t really say much. Your voice sounds pleasant to me already, so I’d like to hear you sing.” I said.

Belle turned and gave me a big smile. “I don’t usually do private audiences, but I can always make an exception for the right price.”

I didn’t want to hear her sing that badly, but I figured that it would be a good way to grow closer with her as a friend, just in case I needed something from her later. “Name your price, Belle.”

Her cheeks pinked slightly. “Okay, that’s growing on me a little, but anyway, my sister and I are having a competition. She wants to see which of us can find a better date, and we just haven’t had any luck since we started. You seem like a nice guy to me, and I’m sure a nice, free meal seems like a nice bonus to our little exchange, so what do you say?”

I blinked. “Sure. If you need to get ahold of me, I’m probably going to be at Sweet Apple Acres for a little while until I can either figure out how to go home or afford a place of my own.”

“Oh, so you’re living with Applejack? She hasn’t claimed you, has she?” Sweetie Belle asked worriedly.

“No one has any sort of claim on me at the moment, but I’m starting to think that I should be telling people that someone does.” I said drily.

She turned to give me a doubtful look. “Lying about being claimed won't make you any friends anytime soon. Actually being claimed, on the other hand, isn’t as bad as I’m thinking you think it is.”

“Would you mind explainin’ it for me then?” I asked politely.

She smiled. “I would not. When a woman puts a claim on you around Magiville, it’s mostly just a bracelet that says that someone already has their eyes on you and doesn’t intend on sharing.”

“... And what’s stoppin’ me from, say, wearing a random bracelet and saying that you're claimin’ me?”

Belle blushed brightly. “W-Well, I-I can’t say that I would mind if you did, but that really does imply certain things that I don’t think you’d be okay with.”

“Hmm?” I asked, knowing full well what she was talking about. “I’m not catchin’ your drift here.”

Belle didn’t lose her blush. “W-Well, I’m sure you understand that having a claim to someone’s heart means that you might have a claim on other things of theirs, right?”

I gave her my oblivious smile. “I’m guessin’ that it means somethin’ like sharing food and a living space?”

Belle nodded. “Well, that’s a really innocent way of looking at it, but yes.”

“So why don’t you claim me and I can stop worrying about getting hit on all the time?” I asked.

She let go of my wrist and started working her fingers; one of my own little tics. “Well, if you really want me to…”

“I feel like there’s more to it, otherwise you wouldn’t be hesitating.” I commented.

“Well… There's kind of the whole ‘couple’ deal…” Belle chuckled nervously, glancing at me as we walked.

“Really now? A couple of what?” I resumed my oblivious smile, dialing it down to a dopey grin.

She blushed again and rolled her eyes. “A couple, you silly man. As in boyfriend-girlfriend type deal.”

“The terms are unfamiliar to me. Is it like bein’ betrothed?” I asked.

“Kinda. It’s a lot less serious than that, but it’s still not to be taken lightly.”

“Ah, I see. So if I were to ask you to claim me, it would tell everyone that we were quote-unquote ‘drinking coffee’ late at night.” I said sagaciously.

Belle tittered. “That’s a really innocuous way of saying it, but yeah, essentially. I thought guys were supposed to be more vulgar than you’ve been so far.”

“I swear a lot when I’m with my brother, but that’s just because it makes him feel better when I do. Other than that, I don’t make much of a habit of it.” Which was bullshit. I swear in my head all the time, I just happen to know how to be polite.

“That’s not a bad thing, but that makes me wanna ask you a couple things, if that’s okay.”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t be.”

“Right! So why would you say I’m too old for bad words to affect me if you don’t say them yourself?”

“Because I do say them, I just don’t say them all the time. It’s not like ‘fuck’ is every other word out of my mouth like some of my kinsman.” White and Black. Fuckers need to stop cursing so fucking much.

I heard Belle mumble, “Wouldn’t mind if you did it to me,” before she audibly said, “It’s not that I get offended or anything, I just think it’s unnecessary.”

“I get it. You know, this is probably the longest I’ve walked through town without being bothered.”

She grabbed my wrist again and gave me a smile. “That’s because I was touching you. It’s an obvious sign to back off.”

I raised a brow. “So it’s like claiming me?”

Belle blushed again. “Yes, but it’s not as solid, you know? If someone walks up and wants to talk to you, I can’t really lie and say that you’re mine.”

“Ah, so it’s a halfway point or somethin’ like that?”

“Something like that.”

Belle and I chatted amiably all the way to Fluttershy's place, and I have to say that she didn’t piss me off at all. She seemed to be okay with just being friends, at least, for the meantime. I didn’t know how long that was going to last, so I enjoyed it while it was going on. As it turned out, Sweetie Belle didn’t mind singing me a little folk song, and it was a lovely little tune that I still remember to this day. When she was finished with her song, I gave her mad props for being a dope vocalist, and she let me know that she and Fluttershy sang duets on special occasions, and that I could probably convince them if I really wanted to. I chewed on that one for a moment and deconstructed that avenue. It would probably raise a flag-worthy event that I could capitalize on to grow closer to both Fluttershy and Sweetie Belle simultaneously with minimal effort, so I asked Belle for the thing since I could see ways that having their favor would work out for me. I mean, Fluttershy was already someone who’d piqued my interest, and Belle would probably have some sway due to her popularity.

Don't get me wrong now, it’s not like I’d just she their resources without remunerating them in some way, it’s just that I think about what I can do to make my path as clear as possible. It’s why you could call me an unknown serial killer and not be wrong, it’s just that I don’t feel the need to leave a calling card. Blood is all the proof I need to leave of my presence, and that’s all I ever leave, just none of my own. I’ve always been a planner while Ty’s been the impulsive one, and my skill at foreseeing random twists and turns usually does me pretty well.

While I thought about some of my past pieces of modernism, Belle brought us to Fluttershy’s cabin, and I do mean cabin. It was made out of logs and looked quite homely, though I was more tempted to call it a home for a Hobbit since it was partially built into a hill and was surrounded by a few different animals. I let Belle knock on the door since she obviously knew Fluttershy better than I did, but when the pale pink-haired woman opened the door, she smiled up until she laid eyes on me. Then she hid behind her hair.

“O-Oh… Hi Sweetie. Hi Jay.” Fluttershy said shyly, partially hiding behind her door.

“Hi Flutters! How are you today?” Belle asked pleasantly.

“I-I’m doing okay…”

I coughed a couple of times. “Applejack said you needed some plumbing work done, so I came in her stead. If it’s okay by you, I’d like to take a look at what we’re working with.”

Fluttershy blushed a little and the door opened, so Sweetie Belle lead me into Fluttershy’s house. It was a rustic little cabin where a few animals of various species could be seen chilling one way or another. A bear held a fox between its paws while both of them napped, a jackalope hopped around aimlessly, and a few birds chirped and fluttered back and forth, stretching their wings I suppose. There was plenty of movement in Fluttershy’s house, so I was a little edgy, and my presence made the animals go deeper into the house where I assumed there were more.

The woman I’d met yesterday showed me to her kitchen and critters of different levels of ‘Eek! (insert rodent)’ scampered off as I fucked around with her plumbing. I accidentally busted a nut (Ayy lmao. Didn’t think about it till I saw it.) and had to use one of the spares her father had insisted that she keep under the sink. It was all well and good, but Fluttershy still had a leaky shower and a dripping sink upstairs to fix, so I had her lead me to them and started getting those tasks done as well. The shower was an easy six since Fluttershy wanted to replace the fixed head with a removable one that gave me pleasant thoughts, but the dripping sink was just a bad seal that wasn’t even technically a fix in my book. It just took some tape and a washcloth to do up right, which meant that I only had three more things on my list to do, and it wasn’t that long since noon had passed in the first place.

Fluttershy was incredibly grateful that I’d helped her out, so she insisted that I sit down for a cup of tea, despite my desire to get to ‘Rarity’ so she could tell me what a ‘Palace issue’ was. I was pretty sure that it meant that her toilet was broken, but I only had so many tools on hand, and Applejack’s toolbox was a little heavy. Another trip across town was going to suck. Once Belle and I were sat down on Fluttershy’s couch, she brought us both a cup of tea, but when I sipped mine, it was a little obvious that there was a shot in the cup.

When Fluttershy sat down, I asked, “Are you trying to get me drunk so I’ll fix more things for you?”

The pink-haired woman giggled. “W-Well, there’s something wrong with one of my windows, too.” She teased mildly.

Belle tittered. “Oh, stop it, Flutters! He’s going to think you actually do have more work for him!”

Fluttershy giggled some more and sipped her tea. “It’s not exactly every day that we get someone as skilled with their hands as Applejack you know. Especially not a man with her talents at that.”

I smirked. “Marry me and your house will always be in tip-top condition. Just don’t ask me to tend your cotton garden.”

Fluttershy gave me an odd look. “I don’t think anyone grows cotton around here. It’s not really one of the Breadbasket’s things.”

“Breadbasket?”

Belle nudged me. “Magiville is on the outer edges of the Arcadian Breadbasket. Encantia is on the border of the Northeastern region.”

I ran through my memories and checked the map I’d seen in Twilight’s library. Arcania was vaguely shaped like the United States, and I do mean vaguely. It almost looked more like Ohio or some shit; a squashed up, squared version of America, the the edges were a bit ragged and there were islands on either side. If I stretched out my mental map, I’d have placed us in eastern Ohio, oddly enough. Fucking Buckeye pieces of shit, the only good thing I ever got from that shitty state was the candy buckeye I bought on a whim while visiting some of my Mom’s family (My Grandpa), though that was on the west side. I hoped that the sucky east side would be less sucky than the west side, but my hopes weren’t high in the long run.

“Ah, I suppose that could be useful information. Thank you.” I gave them the dopey grin.

Fluttershy responded to it well and Belle nodded. “No problem. I’m sure you have a lot of questions, being new to town and all. Especially since you don’t seem to be from Arcadia.”

“What gave it away?” I asked neutrally.

Belle raised a brow. “I haven’t met an Arcadian with your hair and complexion. Your hair has gradations like my sister’s, but it’s curly like Pinkie Pie’s, and both of them were born just outside of Arcanian borders.”

“And? Why should that mean anything?”

“Your general lack of knowledge on Arcadian culture, perhaps?” She flashed a triumphant smile.

I made a face. “I almost had you going, so don’t give me that look.”

Sweetie Belle smirked. “You’re just mad because you got owned.”

I put my hand on her high on her thigh and squeezed gently, watching as her eyes shot open and her face flushed. “No one’s mad here, Belle.”

She didn’t say anything to that, so I turned to Fluttershy who was looking on with an expression that I’d seen on a lot of Ty’s girlfriend’s. Jealousy and envy were dangerous tools that I love having at my disposal, so I left my hand on Belle for a little longer than I needed to, at least, to get back at her properly.

When I took my hand back, Belle said, “Uh… Right, I-I.” She blinked rapidly for a moment before giving me a stern look. “Hey! That’s playing dirty!”

I gave her my dopey smile. “I don’t understand.”

Sweetie Belle glared at me and huffed. “You know what you did!”

“S-Sweetie B-Belle, Jay is from another world. That might be a normal thing for him.” Fluttershy said preciously.

Belle pouted a little bit and kept glaring at me. “I don’t know how things are wherever you're from, but you shouldn't be touching women there anyway!”

“It wasn’t an erogenous zone, so I don’t see what the big idea is. I’m sorry though.” I said, completely full of shit.

“... It’s okay, just warn me if you’re gonna do it again.” Belle said softly.

Fluttershy coughed, and I didn’t miss the minute glare she was giving Belle as she said, “So Jay, how are you adjusting to Arcadia so far?”

“Well, everything’s still so new, but I think I’ll be okay here. At least for awhile, or until I can make it home. I don’t think living here would be too bad, but America really is the best country on Earth.” I sighed.

“... Didn’t you say-” Fluttershy started.

“Yes, I said that a lot of terribly terribad things happen in America, but it doesn’t mean that the aspects of the country that are good aren’t extra good.”

“... Right. So… H-How do you like the tea?” Fluttershy asked.

I was taking a sip as she asked, so I said, “I’m not much of a drinker to be honest with you. I prefer the burning bush to the liquid fire any day of the week.”

She perked up immediately. “Oh! I-I have some of that particular herb on hand, but I don’t own a pipe or anything.”

I chuckled. “I keep rolling papers and a lighter on me, Flutters. No need to worry.”

Fluttershy flashed me a bright smile. “Then I’ll be right back!”

While she was rummaging through her cabinets in the kitchen, Belle brushed her fingers down the length of my arm. “So are you trying to get claimed by just anyone, or are you actually just not from here?”

“I’m not from here, but it just strikes me as odd that Arcadia has a system in place for making sure that a person’s prize is kept.” I remarked.

“Well, that’s just because the population tends to lean one way or the other. It makes it hard to keep the population stable, but it’s the best way to keep everyone happy without harems getting too big.” Belle explained. “I might be one of the few women in Magiville who could start her own harem, but right now mine would be filled with other women.” She sighed.

“Never send a woman to do a man’s job, like back rubs and omelettes.” I said darkly.

Belle stared at me until Fluttershy returned with a little jar full of her herb that looked… It was… It was magnificent. I could hardly see the green and gold past all the frosty trichomes covering the beautiful specimen. I felt the willy will itself to life as Fluttershy reached across the table and handed me the mason jar she kept her tasty, tasty shit in. Like, if weed was shit, I would have 2 girls 1 cup’d the fuck out of Fluttershy, right then and there, in front of Sweetie Belle too.

“Jay? Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked after a moment of me staring at her weed.

“It’s fuckin’ dope. This dope is dope. So dope.” I murmured, cracking the jar open so I could inspect the buds for myself.

“... Does that mean it’s good?” Belle asked, still a little weirded out from earlier.

“Bruh, like, yo! I’ve never seen weed this fuckin’ frosty! You gotta show me where I can get some of this!” I beamed at Fluttershy.

She smiled back at me bashfully. “I-I don’t know a-about that… Wh-What if you can only g-get it through m-m-me?”

Oh?

Warning!

A New Challenger Approaches!

The opening theme from Pokemon Emerald played in my head as a random Flag Event was tossed into my lap. I switched into the gaming gear and sent a hook of my own into the water with, “Well that would mean that I’d have to come and visit you more often, now wouldn’t it? I can’t say I see a downside, Ms. Drug Dealer.”

I heard Belle huff quietly as Fluttershy’s eyes sparkled. “Neither can I, b-b-but m-maybe it w-wouldn't h-have to be the sole p-purpose of the v-visit?”

I gave her an easy smile, the bait and hook completely unnecessary. My prey was trying to jump into the boat. A little gentle teasing would cement the deal, however, as experience has proven. “I don’t know... I mean, I’m not sure if you would enjoy my company very much.”

Belle squeezed my hand and gave me a warm smile. “I don’t know about Fluttershy, but I’ve very much enjoyed your company.”

“I-I’ve enjoyed your company too! You’re a very pleasant man!” Fluttershy spouted quickly.

“Thanks to both. Nice to know that I’m not unlikeable.” I said, wearing a small smile as I rubbed my left shoulder with my right hand; a gesture of weakness to bait them.

“Did someone tell you that, because it’s completely untrue! You’re a very likeable person, Jay!” Belle said fervently.

I gave her a little smile, saving a better one for Fluttershy. “Again, thanks, but I have my moments.”

“E-Everyone has their moments! A lot of people say that I’m really nice, but even I get snippy…” Fluttershy said, dropping in volume as she went along.

“More like slutty.” Belle grumbled, barely loud enough for me to hear.

I jammed a thumb into her side while smiling at Fluttershy. “It’s all about how the people around you vibe, y’know? I mean, it’s not like you’re just gonna be up and smiley while someone’s miserable nearby.”

The pink-haired woman gave me a questioning look while Belle glared at me, rubbing her side. “R-Right... “

I nodded and got started with breaking the bud down as the ladies watched on. I’m going to skip the process because it’s simple, and if you’re legal to smoke in a legal state, you’ve probably done it already, so it’s not exactly a long shot for me to say that whoever’s reading this should know what it do. I’m going to skip the smoking of the L because shit was lit and hearing about everyone coughing because the shit was that potent in more than passing is just unnecessary.

When the joint was roached and everyone was stuck, one way or another, Fluttershy sat on the other side of me on her couch, meaning that I was touching both women simultaneously. It bothered me. “So, Jay,” Belle began, her eyes crimson like the tide, “how long are you planning on staying in Magiville?”

“Until I can find a way to get my brother and I back home. If we’re stuck here, then I don’t really see a reason to move away. I mean, the place seems pretty good so far.” I replied, chilled to sub-zero.

Fluttershy’s fingers lightly danced over the back of my hand. “You know, we don’t really have a handyman around town. It might be nice if you stayed.”

I flipped my hand over so that the contact was mutual, thus making it okay. “I don’t think you’re going to convince me to abandon my home so easily.”

Fluttershy laid her head on my shoulder as Belle did the same, and they spoke at the same time, interrupting each other. The took a moment to get off of me and glare at each other and I felt rather uncomfortable when Belle said, “Maybe you should start building the groundwork for a life here instead of hoping for something that might never happen?”

I stared at her, but Fluttershy was the one who said, “Sweetie Belle, how heartless! You can’t just tell a person to give up on seeing their home again!”

Belle had the good grace to look ashamed. “S-Sorry, I didn’t think about it too hard.”

“I think it might be better if you left.” Fluttershy said, her tone clipped.

Sweetie Belle stood to leave, but I grabbed her hand and gave her a little smile. “I’m not upset, it’s just… Thinkin’ of not seeing my Moms again sucks.”

She gave me an apologetic smile. “I didn’t mean to bring up nasty thoughts.”

“It’s okay, Belle. Can I still expect an invite to your next concert?” I asked, extending a branch fucking loaded with olives.

She seized and ate the wood first, then the fruit of the tree. “Of course! The moment I organize another tour, tickets will be in your hands!”

I beamed at her. “Glad to hear that you can still be nice, meanie butt.” A little teasing for seasoning.

Belle put on a pout face for all of two seconds before smiling, but with a little extra behind it this time. “I can be even nicer if you want me to. It’ll definitely cost you, though.”

Oh?

Warning!

A New Challenger Approaches!

I gave her a fake ass, bitch ass pout. “Why does everything cost something? Can’t you give me a freebie?”

Sweetie Belle pretended to consider it for a moment. “Weeell… I guess I could give you a freebie. Just one though!” She pointed a judicious finger at me.

I rolled my eyes. “And if I want my freebie to be a mouth-hug?”

She blinked. “I don’t know what that is, but it sounds nice. I guess it could be that.”

I rolled my ass of in my head. “Are you sure? It doesn't have to be a mouth-hug.”

“Well now I’m curious! What is it?” Belle smiled, her eyes gleaming as her trespass was forgotten.

“I think it’s just called a ‘kiss’,” I threw up some quotations, “here, but in America, it’s called a mouth hug. I was warned against greetin’ anyone other than close friends that way last night.”

Fluttershy gasped. “Don’t tell me you kissed Applejack!”

I gave Fluttershy a stern look. “Of course not. I kissed her Grandmother.”

Silence ruled the room before the two women both started giggling at the mental image of me kissing a woman who was most likely in her upper seventies. “That’s hilarious! I don’t know if I want to give you a mouth-hug now!” Sweetie Belle said through her laughter.

“Would you be willing to accept my lower head into your mouth?” I asked, sounding innocent.

Belle stopped laughing and lit up. “Uh…”

“Jay! Don’t pretend like that’s just a normal thing to ask of someone!” Fluttershy pinched me.

I gave her a shit eating grin. “What would you have done if she’d have said yes?”

“I would have made you get out of my house too!” Fluttershy huffed. “In fact, why don’t you come visit again sometime soon?”

“Ah, the undertones of dismissal.” I chuckled. “Sorry Fluttershy, but I thought it was funny.”

She gave me some serious side eye after brushing her hair behind her ear. “... It was, but that was very inappropriate.”

“... Just so we’re clear, Jay asked me to give him a lick and he knew exactly what that implies?” Sweetie Belle asked.

Fluttershy nodded. “Yes.”

Belle glared at me adorably. “I bet you knew that grabbing my thigh was a dirty move all along, didn’t you!?”

I kept my face blank. “I don’t like being touched at all, so I don’t know where people should and shouldn’t be touched since I really try not to do it.”

She gave me a doubtful look. “Are you sure about that? You already tried to pull the wool over my eyes once!”

I pointed at Fluttershy since I’d scooted away from her after Sweetie Belle stood up. “I stopped touching Fluttershy since there was space on the couch so I wouldn’t have to. I don’t really like personal contact.”

Belle made a face. “So what about when I lead you here by the hand?”

I shrugged. “It was easy to keep my mind off of it since we were talking.”

“Oh… I’m sor-”

I waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. You can pay me back by taking me to the Carousel Boutique since I was supposed to be there already anyway.”

She blinked. “Oh, you’re coming to fix that infernal door!”

I raised a brow. “Do you work there when you’re not on tour or something?”

Belle and Fluttershy giggled. “No, that’s my sister’s shop. I used to stay there with her a few years ago when she first got her business up and running, but then I made my own way in the world. I can’t believe you haven’t mentioned where you were supposed to be going next!”

I gave her a look. “Well it’s not like you ever asked.” I turned to Fluttershy and gave her a quick hug. “It was nice to see you again so soon. Here’s hoping we don’t get tired of each other at this rate.”

She giggled and gave me a squeeze, holding me even as I let go. “Come back soon, Jay. I’ll be sure to make cookies next time.”

“Sweet! Snacks and eye candy! I might grab another cup full of diabetes and lose a foot or something.” I threw it out there to see how it would be received.

Fluttershy let me go and gave me an odd look. “I-I understood that you’re excited about snacks…”

I gave her a winsome smile. “I am.”

“... What were the other things?”

“If I kiss your cheek, can I skip the explanation?”

She tilted her head. “I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I. Guys are weird.” Belle said flatly.

“No, what I just said made perfect, logical sense. It’s a well known scientific fact that women are genetically insane.” I said, quoting my Biology and Sex Ed. textbooks by heart.

They both gave me looks that I’d seen Ty get a thousand times, but it made no sense to me. “... What's with the looks? It’s not like it’s an insult or anything. Men are perfectly capable of being insane and some do.”

Fluttershy recovered first. “Wait… A-Are you serious?”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah. It was a recent discovery, shortly after my people discovered the ‘cure’ for insanity. The cure turned out to be an extremely expensive treatment that would grant a patient days if not months of lucidity if taken at the correct dosage, but they identified the chemical that’s released from your brain that causes things like depression and psychosis in the process. It was discovered that carrying two ‘X’ Chromosomes would mean that your brain would slowly release more of the natural neurotoxin as your body matured and continued through the monthly cycle-” I lectured ruthlessly.

“Stop! That’s- That’s- That’s just- Jay!” Fluttershy cried, unable to handle old news.

I shrugged. “Like I said, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about or anything. It’s just nature.”

Belle groaned. “Do you seriously think that we’re crazy people?”

“It’s impolite to point it out. I’d rather just support you as I can in your endeavors.” I gave them an easy smile. “Let’s get goin’ Belle. We’re burnin’ daylight as is.”

Fluttershy gave me a pouty look. “You called us crazy!”

“I dindu nuffin. I never called you in particular crazy. It’s just that Human women are nuckin’ futz.” I said honestly.

Fluttershy gave me a stern look. “Maybe the women from your world are crazy, but the women here are all perfectly sane.”

I nodded, but Belle cut in with, “Well, not Pinkie.”

Fluttershy grimaced. “Not Pinkie, but most.”

I nodded. “Of course. I shouldn’t expect the same laws to apply across worlds.” Give way, nice and easy. Don’t scare them off.

They nodded simultaneously. “Exactly. Just because something is one way in your world doesn't mean it’s going to be the same in this one.” Sweetie Belle said firmly.

I wanted to see if I could tug on their heartstrings a little, so I closed off my body language and tried to appear nervous, not saying a word. Fluttershy caved first and said, “It’s okay, Jay. You just didn’t know, right?”

“Right… Still, even if you were, it’s rude to even say anything. It’s just supposed to be understood.” I maintained.

“So why say anything?” Belle asked irritably.

I shook my head. “If I lose focus, I start saying bad stuff. It just happens.”

“So you're just constantly trying not to swear at people?” Belle asked doubtfully.

“I’m constantly trying to clean up my language, yes.” I answered.

Belle wore the pout she usually wore until it turned into a look of acceptance. “I guess it must be really hard for you to adjust to a new country and all.”

“I’m from another world.” I said casually.

That earned me a look. “Right. I sure do believe you.”

“H-He’s telling the truth.” Fluttershy defended quietly.

Sweetie Belle’s jaw dropped. “Wait, seriously!? We’re in the presence of an alien!?”

“I guess you could say that. Just don’t deport me without my brother.” I nodded once.

“No one’s deporting anyone!” Belle said, shocked. “Arcadia doesn’t deport peaceful people!”

“Well, that just sounds like a better reason to stay smiley and happy time. I don’t wanna get deported, Granny Smith cooks too well.” I made a sad face.

The ladies giggled. “I guess the way to a man’s heart really is through his stomach.” Belle said.

“It would certainly seem like it. I wonder if I could win Jay over with a nice dinner.” Fluttershy said, only half joking.

Belle gave her a triumphant look, but dialed it down when she saw that I was watching. “I don’t know, Fluttershy. Maybe we should be making him work for his food?”

I gave Belle my most serious look. “It’s been a lot of work already, keeping my hands to myself. Both of you look like you take time for your hair, and it definitely shows.”

She blushed and smiled. “Well thank you, but why would that have anything to do with keeping your hands to yourself?”

I tilted my head at her. “Is it common for Arcadians to touch each other’s hair?”

“Yeah! When someone takes really good care of their hair, it’s not exactly odd for someone to come up and compliment you on it. I’ve had dozens of my fans ask me how I make my hair shine.”

“But do they actually touch you?” I asked.

“They touch my hair.” She answered.

“Strange.” I commented.

Belle shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll have time to get used to it. After all, I know I’d like to touch your hair, I just don’t know if guys treat it the same way girls do.”

I touched the curly mess that was my hair and pulled my pick out of my back pocket. “Let me do a little a little extra maintenance and I’ll let you cop a feel.”

The young singer blushed and looked at Fluttershy. “That sounded like innuendo.”

Fluttershy looked a little irritated. “You might be hearing things. Jay might have different terminology for things like that.”

“Feeling hair?” I asked obliviously.

Belle gave me a look. “We’re not going to give you more opportunities to mess with us.”

I continued picking out my hair. “Sounds lame.”

“It is lame. Now, are you one of those people who came multi-task, or do you have to finish with your hair before you can walk?”

I gave Fluttershy a quick hug and a subtle peck on the cheek because she was my favourite so far. “Sorry to cut the visit a little short, but I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time next… Time. I don’t like saying the same word in the same sentence.” I frowned.

Fluttershy giggled. “Goodbye, Jay. It was really nice to see you again so soon.” She said, blushing lightly.

I gave her a warm smile. “If you promise not to make me fix too many things next time, I might give you a special present.”

That piqued her interest. “Hmm?”

I gave her a wink and a lowkey grin. “You’ll see, beautiful.” I said softly. More loudly, I said, “Let’s get goin’, Belle. We’ve got an infernal door to take care of, right?”

Belle beamed brightly. “We sure do!” She flashed a smug grin to Fluttershy who was still touching her cheek from where I’d kissed her. “It was great to see you again, Flutters. We’ll have to get together again over lunch or something soon.”

Fluttershy blinked a couple of times before smiling some more. “Uh… Yes, that sounds lovely.”

Belle gave her some unimportant response that was laden with gloating, but Fluttershy bore it with a smile since I’d given her more affection than I’d given Sweetie Belle, and I fully planned on keeping it that way. The absolutely stacked, dumb thicc woman had little to fear from the slender, younger woman who severely lacked in the thigh department. Belle was bony whereas Fluttershy had a nice musculature to her while still being soft and supple, which I liked a lot about the woman. It didn’t hurt that she was a classic shy girl and that she was easily a nine out of ten, even when you could only see half of her face.

While walking with Sweetie Belle, she chatted on and on about how I was going to love meeting her sister, but she also took the time to remind me on multiple occasions that I’d agreed to go on a date with her instead of Rarity. I found it a little irritating to be reminded of the fact that I’d made a promise for the simple reason that I don’t forget such things. If I don’t keep a promise, it was either out of my hands, or it was stupid in the first place. I don’t make promises I don’t intend on keeping, and I had to let Belle know that I wasn’t exactly trying to switch teams on her at the moment.

Belle held my hand once we got back into town, and when we got to the Carousel Boutique, she called out, “Sis! I’m back!”

I looked around the ludicrously garish shop; mostly a study in white, blue, and violet. I liked the colours well enough, but I felt out of place in the extremely evident upper-crust atmosphere and tried to stick next to Belle since she was the one who had lead me into the strange place. It honestly reminded me of heading up to Pennsylvania to go visit with my Mom's other half of her family (My Grandma's half), but with more clothes that were far fancier than any those White Devils could ever afford. Snobby, stuck-up fucks were always quick to point out that I wasn’t purely white, or that Mom’s didn’t have the same kinda cash flow, so I wasn’t really expecting Rarity to be worth a used piece of toilet paper, let alone a shit from the source.

While I was having my misgivings, Belle was giving me a nervous smile. “I’d just show you to the thing that needs to be fixed, but Rarity is really persnickety about who she lets into the kitchen. I don’t think we’ve ever actually had a guy in there.”

“It’s a good thing that I’m just a woman with flat breasts and facial hair then.” I said seriously.

Belle giggled. “You’re funny, you know that?”

I gave her an odd look. “I identify as a female.”

She blinked. “I-I don’t understand.”

“I was born a female in a man’s body. It is a terrible curse.” I nodded.

“... So… you’re a guy?” Sweetie asked slowly.

“I look like one.” I answered.

“Right. Do you have the… equipment, shall we say, to be a guy?”

“Yes.” I nodded.

Sweetie Belle looked at me like I was crazy. “If you were naturally born a guy and you have guy parts, then you’re a guy.”

“That’s not how it works. Gender is a mental construct.” I said wisely, quoting the lunatics who still spouted that decade and a half year-old nonsense.

Sweetie Belle just gave me the funniest of looks. “You’re an odd one, you know that?”

“It’s usually the order of the day.” I gave her a little smile.

She rolled her eyes, but didn’t comment on it. “You don’t really think you’re a girl, do you?”

“No, but there were people from my world that identified themselves as all manner of things. It makes no sense to me, but Ty gets it. He’s really against it, but he gets it.”

“Doesn’t make any sense to me, but then again, it is a concept from another world.” She said.

I shook my head. “It feels like a concept from another world to me too, but I’m from that world. Shit don’t make sense, but it’s not my job to make sense of it.”

Belle nodded. “Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean that you should judge someone on it.”

I gave her a look. “You were judging me when you thought I was being serious.”

“It’s a concept from another world; you don’t have to understand it.” She said, giving me a mischievous grin.

I poked her and she poked me back, which made me poke her, thus making her poke me back. It was mutual contact most of the time, so I was okay with it, but when this one bitch with way too much makeup came from behind a curtain that reached the floor of the doorway, Belle straightened up and I got the last poke. She flashed me an irritated look and I gave her a smug smirk, so she tried to deny my status as winner by poking me, but I just stepped away.

“Sweetie Belle! I see you’ve brought a friend along.” The person who I assumed was Rarity said.

Belle gave me one last look before turning to her sister. “Yeah, this is Jay. He’s new to town and staying with Applejack for a little bit.”

Rarity came over as she said, “Well it’s a pleasure to meet the friend of a friend!” When she got within arm’s reach, she extended a hand. “I’m sure Sweetie Belle has already told you my name, but I’m Rarity, the owner of this establishment. I’d give you my usual slogan, but I have a funny feeling that you’re not here on business.” She said with an amused smile, her accent irking the fuck out of me.

I gave her my oblivious smile as I shook the proffered hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Rarity. I actually am here on business, though I think fixing your door is just a little task.”

Rarity’s smile froze. “You’re here to fix my kitchen door?”

I nodded. “It was on the to-do list Applejack gave me.”

“I’m dreadfully sorry, in that case.” She gave me an apologetic smile. “It would seem that you’ve come all this way for nothing.”

I blinked at her. “I’m not allowed to fix the thing?”

“Well, it’s just that I happen to prefer to keep the actual home part of my home private.” Rarity said begrudgingly. “It’s not exactly often that I let strangers into my living quarters willy nilly. I’m sure you understand.”

I tilted my head. “But the door is broken and I can fix it.”

Rarity gave me an odd look. “... I’m sure you could, but this is more of a task for Applejack herself.”

I nodded three times three separate times, thumbing my nose on the last nod of each set. “Yes, it’s Applejack’s task. You say it’s Applejack’s, it’s your house.”

“... Right.” Rarity took a half-step back.

Belle touched my arm. “Are you okay, Jay?”

“I don’t like it when I’m supposed to do a thing and I’m told not to do the thing.” I said truthfully.

“Ah, I understand that feeling, to an extent.” Rarity chimed in. “It’s like starting on a new piece and then having someone cancel on you, I would say.”

I nodded. “I guess it’s pretty similar.” I checked my list again. “I have more tasks to do. I hope I’m allowed to do these ones.”

“Oh? What all do you have left?” Belle asked.

“I have to go to Sugarcube Corner and fix some lighting and a few wobbly tables.” I replied. “It doesn’t sound like anything too difficult, but I’m not sure if I can do the lighting. I don’t think I’ve seen an actual wire or any sign of electricity, come to think of it.”

Rarity gave me a funny look. “I think the Tenotites and the Argons use electricity since their Medeis population has always been historically miniscule, but Arcadia’s population has always been suited more toward magical energy.”

I blinked at her and tilted my head. “You mean everything runs on Magic?”

She nodded slowly. “Yes, darling.”

“Jay is from a different world, apparently.” Belle added for fun.

“I am. I come from a planet called Earth where there isn’t a drop of Magic, at least, not to my knowledge.” I replied.

Rarity took another half step back. “Right. Well, I’m terribly sorry to cut our visit short, but I was rather busy and I simply must get back to my work.” She gave me a nervous smile because she thought I was crazy.

I figured I’d be nice since she was one of Applejack’s friends, and probably one of Fluttershy’s too. “In that case, I hope you have fun with your work and have a good day.”

Rarity nodded curtly. “And the same to you, Jay.” She looked at her sister and sweetly asked, “Sweetie Belle, could I speak with you for a moment?”

Belle grimaced and grinned. “As much as I’d love to have a quick word with you, I think a needs me to lead him to Sugarcube Corner, right Jay?”

I liked Sweetie more than I did Rarity, so I said, “If it’s no trouble. I don’t want people to keep hitting on me.”

Rarity paled slightly. “So you haven't been claimed?”

I shook my head. “People have tried, but I just want to be left alone at the moment. I’ve only been on this planet for a few days, and I’d rather try to go home than find love, y’know?”

The seamstress (I assumed at that point. I know for sure now.) paled even further. “Are you saying that you really are from a different planet?”

I pursed my lips. “Well, I either come from a different planet, or I was born on this one and am completely crazy.”

While Rarity was thinking of the most polite way to tell me to get the fuck away from her, Sweetie Belle grabbed my hand and gave Rarity a smile. “How about we just let you get back to work and I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Her sister gave her a tight smile. “I’ll be done at the usual time tonight, so why don’t you come by then?”

Belle chuckled awkwardly. “I’m so sorry, but I have a thing I have to do. I’m sure you understand.”

There was a glint in Rarity’s eye that made me worry about Belle’s flat little ass. “Of course, dear sister. I completely understand.”

My new friend breathed a sigh of relief. “Great! I love you, sis, and I’ll see you around, say, lunch?”

Rarity nodded once. “Lunch it is. Do take care, Sweetie Belle.” She cast a quick glance toward me.

I gave Rarity a dopey smile. “Belle won’t have to worry! She’s been really nice to me all day, so I’ll definitely repay her kindness when it’s time for us to go our separate ways.”

The fire of an older sibling’s protective streak sparked to life in Rarity’s eyes. “And just how do you plan on doing that?” She asked coldly.

“Rar-” Sweetie Belle began.

“Well, Belle took me over to Fluttershy’s house, lead me here, and said she’s going to take me to Sugarcube Corner, so I should make her a pie!” I lightly clapped my right fist into my left hand like the idea had just struck me.

A familiar look crossed Rarity’s face before she gave me a familiar smile. “OH! Well in that case, I hope you two have a wonderful walk.”

Belle gave her an odd look since she didn’t know the significance of the facade I’d put up. “I’m sure we will. Before we go, I feel like I should tell you that Jay’s agreed to be my date for our little competition.”

A few expressions crossed Rarity’s face in the course of a few moments, but I had trouble telling what they were specifically. Something had made her a little happy, somewhat irritated, and at the end, she just put on a fake smile and said, “I suppose I’d better get a move on in finding a date of my own then.”

Belle gave her a patronizing smile. “If you can’t find one, Jay has a brother. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind setting you two up.”

I considered it quickly, taking in Rarity as a whole, using what I’d observed from her so far to come to my conclusion. To a point, she was right up his alley since he was really into rich Snow Bunnies with the little accent and all, plus Rarity wasn’t exactly rough on the eyes. She had a great figure on her, though she seemed to lack in the ass department like her sister. She made up for it by being built like a tempting secretary in the chest department, and she was rather pretty, just not to my tastes.

After that brief second, I smiled and said, “I think you'd like him. He’s more handsome than I am and he tends to hold a conversation better.”

Rarity flashed her sister an irritated look before giving me a small smile. “While I’m sure that he’s nice-”

I made myself wince. “Well…”

Her brows raised. “Oh? You would have let me go on a date with someone who wasn’t nice?”

I tapped my index fingers together rhythmically. “Well, it’s not like he’s a butthead all the time.”

She huffed playfully. “Well I’m glad you told me sooner rather than later. Perhaps I should meet this brother of yours and teach him some manners?”

I dropped the shy act and gave her a look. “I’d pay you for the kindness. I’ve been trying to get that guy to act right for years.”

Belle tugged on the sleeve of m jacket. “I’m not letting you drag this one out, buster. We’ll catch you later, Sis.”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Do take care, Belle. Be sure to spend your time off wisely.”

“Won’t catch me wasting a moment!” Belle announced as she dragged me out the door.

Sweetie Belle didn’t stop dragging me until we got off of Rarity’s street and into the town square where she eased up on her grip and slowed down. I didn’t comment on it and kept my eyes wandering as we passed through the German-esque, colorful old town. The architecture was nice and rustic, but there were discrepancies, like with how the windows were definitely modern when compared to the older stylings of the house. It was a curious little thing, but as I noted the opulent amounts of floral arrangement adorning just about every open space in the town, Belle came to a stop in front of a building that looked like a mother fucking gingerbread house and gave me a little smile.

“This is it! Sugarcube Corner; the best bakery in the Breadbasket!” Sweetie Belle announced happily.

I nodded and started walking toward it. “It’s structure is strange. What's it made out of?”

“Enchanted baked goods.” Sweetie said, giggling.

I nodded again. “Okay, that’s odd.”

“I’m not being serious! No one actually knows what it’s made out of other than the Cakes and Pinkie Pie.”

“Those are names, right?”

“Yep!”

“Alright. I suppose I’m going to be meeting the Cakes and Pinkie Pie here in a sec?”

“Sure are!”

“Cool.” I said, opening the door to the establishment. The smell of dozens of different kinds of sugar goodness assaulted my senses.

It gave me a headache from the get go since too many smells give me headaches, but it was a pleasant headache, if that makes any sense. Like, it didn’t feel terrible, but it was an occasional throb that, while hurting, still felt pretty decent afterward. Belle let me take a few more steps before she took ahold of me again and started leading me over to a counter slash display case that held a number of delectable looking confections. Lemon squares, many kinds of cookies, fudge-iced brownies, and a few cakes that had slices taken out of them. The lemon squares made my mouth water since I like them, but my attention was on the short, pudgy woman in from of me.

She had terribly hot pink hair with a pale pink streak down the middle, but she wore a motherly smile as Belle introduced me. “Hey, Mrs. Cake! I brought someone to lend you a hand!”

Mrs. Cake raised her brows and gave me an appraising look. “Ah, a handyman, are we?”

“Somethin’ like that.” I gave her a little smile.

“Well, Mr. Somethin’, I have a few things I need you to take a look at, if you don’t mind.”

I didn’t mind and I took care of business as usual. The tasks weren’t hard to complete and usually only took a couple of minutes, so I was able to leave Sugarcube Corner pretty quickly. It was only about five thirty by the time I was done with all of my crap, so Belle asked me if I wanted a tour around town since I had some free time. I asked her if I could reschedule on that so I could see if Applejack had anything else for me to do and she just gave me a pouty look that probably didn’t do what it was supposed to. She compromised and asked if she could come along, so I agreed and we chatted some more on our way back to the farm. Belle basically gave me a crash course on everything she liked, which included long walks and talking, visiting friends, checking off tasks on a list, and cupcakes. The last one was probably one the forefront of her mind because she’d just gotten a cupcake from Sugarcube Corner.

When we got back to the farm, I had no idea where any of the Apple siblings were, so I headed inside to the living room. The moment I stepped through the door, Granny laid eyes on me as she was coming from the kitchen and said, “Ya can’t be done already! AJ told me that list she gave ya shoulda taken a couple days!”

I gave her an odd look. “None of those tasks were particularly difficult compared to some of the jury-rigging I’ve had to do. Having proper tools made this a lot easier, if it’s any explanation.”

“I don’t usually watch people fix things, so I can’t say whether you were fast or not.” Belle said, scratching her cheek.

“It was my normal working pace.” I answered. “Is there anything else I can do?”

Granny scratched her chin. “Well, ya could wash up and help me with dinner.”

I nodded. “I like cooking.”

“Mind if I pitch in? I’ve-” Sweetie Belle started.

Granny pointed a crooked, damning finger at her. “Oh no you don’t! I still remember the time you an’ Apple Bloom turned my poor kitchen into the second Reign of Discord!”

The younger woman blushed brightly. “That was years ago! I didn’t even have my Mana Mark yet!”

“Uh-huh.” Granny said drily. “I’m sure ya got better things ta do than stick around here and crush on Jay, so why dontcha come a’callin’ on the weekend?”

Belle stayed red. “Granny! I do not have a crush on a guy I’ve known less than a day!”

The older woman raised a brow at me. “What do you say, Jay? Ya seem like a pretty observant guy to me.”:

“I’ve got her wrapped around my little finger.” I held up my pinkie, grinning.

“That’s what you think, Mister!” Belle objected.

“I got you to lead me around all day, didn’t I? Remember how reluctant you were to help out the weird guy?” I teased.

She gave me a womanly look. “If I remember correctly, I offered to help you.”

I gave her a hug, surprising her. “And you’re the sweetest Sweetie Belle for that!”

Granny gave me an odd look and I just gave her a wink, receiving a nod in turn as Belle pushed me away, her face bright red. She left her hands on me when she said, “I’m the only Sweetie Belle you know.”

“You’re also sweeter than a lot of people that I know.”

“Well, thank you, I guess.”

I patted her arm. “You’re welcome. It’s time to get washed up, so unless you want to scrub my back…?” I wiggled my brows at her.

Belle rolled her eyes. “I’ll be going home now. Take care, Jay. Bye Granny, I love you!”

“Bye darlin’, love you too.” Granny chuckled.

“See ya later, Belle.” I gave her a smile.

She smiled back before rolling out, so I went to go do the scrubbing before I got into the kitchen and helped Granny whip up dinner. We made pork chops, mashed potatoes, and corn, so Granny let me shuck and slice the kernels off the cobs of corn and peel the potatoes, but when it came to the actual cooking, she took care of everything and I basically just tried to stay out of her way. She added some bacon fat that she kept in a jar to the mashed potatoes and I thought she might actually be trying to give someone diabetes. After tasting them, I brushed the thought aside and concluded that she was trying to send someone to heaven.

Applejack, Macintosh, Apple Bloom, and Ty all came in from the orchards smelling of sweat and Apples, so Granny made them hop in the showers before ordering me to do the same. Ty and I just kinda scratched our heads because we didn’t have anything to change in to, but then Applejack and Big Mac pulled through with some of Big Mac’s old clothes. Ty wasn’t much smaller than MacIntosh since the farm boy was only bigger around the waist, so they were able to wear the same clothes. I, however, got some older hand-me-downs that were well worn, though well looked after. I’d always had a soft spot for old clothes since I liked using things until they couldn’t be used anymore, but that was always tempered by my enjoyment of new trinkets and things like that.

When the clothing situation was sorted, Mac took Ty to one set of showers and Applejack took me to another, which I thought was weird since we were going to have to shower one at a time anyway. Or rather, so I thought. When it turned out that we were heading to a type of communal bath type deal with shower stalls, I wondered why the fuck I’d been set up with Applejack instead of MacIntosh since she was his sister. I mean, I’d rather be the person seeing my sister naked than some stranger whose intentions I know nothing of. Maybe my logic is lacking, but as Applejack started to strip, she noticed my hesitance.

“What? You ain’t afraid of a little water, are ya?” She teased, stripping her shirt off to reveal something I wasn’t looking at.

I kept my eyes straight ahead as I said, “I’m more surprised that you’re okay with me seeing you naked after only knowing me for a day.”

“Not sure I follow your line a’ reasoning here, Sugar. I’m sure I ain’t got nothin’ you ain’t seen before.” She scoffed.

“True, but I haven’t seen it on you.” I tried to head toward one of the stalls with my clothes in hand when Applejack caught me. A quick glance told me that she’d just gotten her boots off.

“Look, that’s real sweet of ya and all, but modesty ain’t exactly common ‘round here. You’ll probably see whatever I got to offer a couple a’ times while you’re here, so ya might as well get used to it.” Applejack said, amused.

I looked her in the eye. “Why am I here with you instead of with Ty?”

“Because Mac and I don’t shower together and there ain’t no way in Tartarus that Mac would let your lecherous brother come close to me while I was wearin’ less than jeans and a shirt.”

I nodded. “I see. So you trust me, but not him?”

Applejack narrowed her eyes at me. “My brother says that Ty might be the one we should be lookin’ out for, but I say it’s you. You’re the dangerous one.”

I tilted my head. “Of course I am, but I don’t understand why you’re letting me have so much leeway, giving me so much space to move around. I visited two of your friends today, after all.”

Applejack raised a brow. “Ya shoulda met four of ‘em.”

“Twilight wasn’t home and Belle told me that Pinkie Pie was probably the person I was supposed to have talked to when I went to Sugarcube Corner. I talked to Mrs. Cake.”

“Ah. So you’re wonderin’ why I’m lettin’ ya walk around instead of keepin’ ya on a tight leash like Ty?” I nodded. “Because you’re not the right kind a’ dangerous. You’re an administrator type and Ty is the one who gets his hands dirty. Without your brother, ya might as well be a King on a chess board.” She smirked at me.

I gave her a gentle smile. “You’ve got it all wrong, but you’re as right as you need to be.” I patted her bare shoulder. “Oh yeah, I have a double date with Ty at seven-thirty, so don’t expect for me to sleep with you tonight.

Applejack gave me a look. “I’ve never had a man and I don’t need one, Sugar.”

I snuck her a kiss because I could, but Applejack didn’t pull back right away. She let her lips linger for a moment before she leaned away and gently pressed a finger against my lips. “How many women have you kissed with those lips today?”

I tilted my head at her, the finger still on my lips. I held up a one with my hand and she asked, “So who was it?” as she took her finger away.

“I kissed Fluttershy’s cheek because I like her too.” I said.

“Why didn’t ya kiss her like ya kissed me?”

“I didn’t feel like it.” I replied simply.

Applejack patted my cheek. “Give me some warning if you’re gonna try that again. If I like it enough, I might just have to put a claim on ya.” She smirked.

“You’d put a claim on someone as dangerous as me?” I asked, amused.

“Shit, Sugar. I’m the only one I’d trust to put a claim on you besides Twilight.” Applejack said drily. “If you’re interested in Fluttershy, I’m gonna have ta stonewall ya unless ya let me supervise.”

“Voyeur much?”

That got a blush out of her. “I just don’t want ya hurtin’ anyone.”

“I won’t until someone gives me a good reason. I don’t make a habit out of lashing out for no reason.”

Applejack turned me so that I was actually facing her and it became a lot harder to look her in the eye. “What do you want while you’re here, Jay? What do you want out of Arcadia if you can’t go home?”

“... Guess I want a nice place to live were I ain’t gotta worry ‘bout no bullshit. Just want some peace and quiet, maybe get rich and relax in life.” I answered honestly.

She gave me a warm smile. “You know that’s the Arcadian Dream, right? Lotta people who manage to get here the legal way find it.”

“Sounds like the American Dream.” I said drily. I took a deep breath and said, “For the time being, I need to get Ty and I on solid footing, so if you can help us find work-”

“Bub, work a couple a’ days on the farm a week and ya can stay here until ya find somethin’ ya actually wanna do… Might find some kinda bargainin’ chip later, but I doubt you got one right now. Anyway, that’s what I’m offerin’.” Applejack raised her chin and dared me to disagree.

“Three days and we look around town. If we’re not looking, we’re working.” I stated.

“As I’d expect.” She answered curtly and extended a hand.

I shook it. “It’s hard to take this seriously when you’re jiggling, but I’m managing so far.”

Applejack gave me a flat look. “Ain’t you seen a pair before?”

“I’d say more than my fair share, but I think more than the ones on the women I’ve slept with is too many... “ I made a face.

That put a funny look on Applejack’s face. “You’re not gonna try somethin’, are ya?”

I cringed visibly and she crossed her arms. “Ew! You’re sweaty! Why? Why? Why would I even do that when your genitals have sweat!? I’ve seen you lick your lips and saliva is all well and good, but no! No!”

I said the wrong words.

Applejack hopped out of her jeans in mere seconds before leaping at me, wrapping me up in a gross, squishy hug. She was still wet with sweat and I could feel it through my clothes as she clung to me and my insides were melting at the feeling of it.

“RRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!” The filthy normie was all over me. The filthy fucking normie was all over me with her FiLtH. It was awful.

Applejack held on and laughed her ass off. “What in tarnation kinda noise is that, Jay!?”

“Oh my God please!” I shuddered.

She let me go and and I raced off into one of the stalls, stripping my clothes off as I went until I fell into a door while trying to take my pants off. I scrabbled under the door as I got both my boxers and pants removed and clear of the splash zone moments later. Saying fuck it to being fancy with my socks, I tore them off and forgot about my glasses as I got the water going. It was cold as shit when it started, but I needed to get clean, so I grabbed the soap I’d brought in with me and got to scrubbing every inch of skin I could reach while Applejack laughed her ass off for a good few minutes. Once all I could see was bubbles on my skin, I exited my stall, entered the one the little shit was still giggling in, and slapped the fuck out of her fantastic ass. She jumped about a foot in the air and whirled around.

“Hey! You better keep your hands-” Applejack started.

I quickly and accurately flicked one of her nipples. “Where you can see them!? Fuck off!”

I left her stall, but she followed me into mine saying, “Just where do you get off flickin’ somethin’ so sensitive like it’s a paper football!? You know good and damn well how tender a nipple is!”

“Well you shoulda thought about how tender your nipple was before you started rubbin’ ‘em up on me when you were covered in sweat.” I grumbled.

Applejack slipped a finger up the crack of my ass and I could have touched the ceiling if I’d have thought about doing it. I landed and glared at the invasive lil’ bitch and she crossed her arms, meeting my look with a glare of her own, so I got in her face. “Fair warning.”

She narrowed her eyes. “What?”

I kissed her again, not shy about giving her a little tongue. Now that she was clean, I wasn’t grossed out by touching her, so I was perfectly fine with placing my hands on her hips and stepping close enough so that her breasts were touching me. Can’t say that I was terribly surprised when Applejack didn’t put up much of a fight, but when I started 'poking' her, I pulled away before the second head could wake up and do some thinking that I wasn’t okay with. It probably would have ended in the same thing, but for now, I wanted to hold off on actually sleeping with anyone.

Applejack chuckled when I let her go and said, “I see ya’ve got some restraint.”

“Doesn’t hurt to have a little.” I turned and went out go rinse off.

Applejack followed me after a moment, just as I’d planned. “Y’know, it wouldn’t be a stretch if ya wanted me ta claim ya…”

I looked at her over my shoulder. “The kiss wasn’t clear enough?”

She smirked. “Message received. Don’t expect to be doin’ that kinda stuff often.”

“I expect five a day. It was a necessary minimum for a healthy relationship in America.” I said, quoting a few different studies that I’d felt like looking up.

“Five? Shootin’ a little high, ain’tcha?” She asked, smiling.

“Are you gonna say no?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “We’ll see how that goes. You know Mac told me to snap you up the second I told him you weren’t claimed, right?”

“Don’t see why he would.”

“I dunno. He’s steered me away from pretty much every other guy, but for some reason he says you’d be alright for me. Guess we’ll see if that’s true, huh?”

I gave her a smile. “So when do I get my bracelet?”

“When I feel like makin’ it, that’s when.”

“Fair enough. So are you going to stare at my bubble butt all day, or are you going to go wash yourself?”

She rolled her eyes one more time and got out of my stall, so I scrubbed down one more time before drying off and getting dressed. I didn’t know how the shampoo and conditioner was going to treat my hair, but white people shit had done it alright in the past. Still, I didn’t want my shit getting all dry and brittle because I didn’t take care of it. I wasn’t all that worried about it as I avoided watching Applejack get dressed, and when she came over to me, she offered me her hand.

“You gonna stand there all day?” My new girlfriend asked.

“I could, dependin’ on how long you wait around for me.” I said cheekily, taking her hand.

“Unlike someone, this gal had to swing a mallet all day and she can feel her stomach grumblin’, so come on.” Applejack started dragging me along and I wondered if it was just a Magiville thing, a Breadbasket thing, or an Arcadian thing for women to lead me around by their hands.

Dinner was nice, but I had to sit across from Ty since the slight to Applejack would have pissed her off. Ty didn’t give a fuck since he’d been doing nothing but cutting up with Mac since they’d gotten in and Apple Bloom was just sneaking little smiles his way. My brother always did make friends fast, even if I wasn’t there to do damage control. Mother fucker just had a natural charisma that got people to do what he wanted, but I had a hard time believing that he’d use it while there was shit to hit. Muscle-head ass boi.

The food was great and the company was good, but Applejack made sure to give me strict instructions that I was not to let Nimbo Stratus give me a claim-bracelet before she did. I just gave her a look and told her that I was just trying to get Ty laid, which earned me a look, an eye roll, another look, a shake of the head, another look, and finally acceptance. I was ‘allowed’ to go meet with Strats, and that was also nice.

However, that’s something I’ll record next time. I’ve been at this shit for way too long anyway and I got shit to do in the morning.

Author's Notes:

Fun with words. I don't mean for these chatper to be much o=longer than 10k, but they just turn out that way. Oh well, we get to see some development a little early on as our sociopathic main character starts building bridges.