"Dash are you sure we don't have to get dressed up for the party?" Fluttershy craned her neck out of their now shared closet as she tried to see where Dash had run off to.

Dash's voice echoed from a room over in response. "No, Shy, we do not have to dress up for a night out on the town. That'd be super dumb. Like nopony else does it, so like if we walk up to the party dressed up in our Gala dresses, I think the town would look at us weird."

"But Dash, what if they do have a costume party thing and we needed to have dresses to be taken seriously?" Fluttershy scanned over her dresses, the scant pickings of years gone by stashed away in her closet.

Dash walked on over and threw a towel she had been lazily washing the dishes with on the floor near Fluttershy's feet. "Did Cloud Kicker say that costumes or dresses were needed?"

"No."

"Then, Shy, its fine. Just go with the flow. If somehow we needed them, then it would be better than showing up in fancy duds and sticking out like the fanciest idiot in the room. Just like breathe and relax. It's going to be fine."

Fluttershy heard a knocking on her front door and she decided that, at least for the moment, the search for a dress would have to wait. Zooming carefully through her house, she opened the door and was greeted by a bubbly, excitable mare that she had only really talked to a few times. Blossomforth grinned widely as she saw 'Dash' on the other side of the door, her eyes giving her ideas of what the two must have been doing this last week.

"Dashie, why look at you. Positively beaming with that after sex glow. Where's the lucky mare or stallion? Like I'd just say mare or whatever you like but like I've seen you around in my circles. Dude. remember the time you tried to pick up the spa ponies cause you though foreigners were hot? Good fucking times, slut."

Fluttershy tilted her head, her mind stopping for a moment to process the weird idea that Blossomforth of all ponies was at her house and the idea that Dash maybe was a bit into reciprocating feelings. And well the mix of proper language and swearing that Blossomforth tended to do threw her through a loop.

"Like, uh, yeah, totally? Uh, why are you here, Blossom? Did Cloud Kicker put you up to it or something?" Fluttershy tried to expect what Dash would say and went with it.

"Dude like cause Cloud Kicker was like 'Dude Dash is totally shacking up with this mountain bitch' and I was 'Nuh uh, she'd be crushed under the weight of sheer hugeness cause Dash is one of those midgets and totally the worst at relationships so four days of anything is godly cause you love that hit it and quit it kind of thing when you wingman me'. Well okay, I meant that when you, Dash, wingman me- but yeah like you get laid and then you feel awesome about it. I think that psych dude I screwed once called that like a commitment issue. I just call it rad and swinging." Blossomforth smiled and Fluttershy tried to grin sheepishly but she felt like it hurt somewhere.

"Hey, S-Dash, I was talking to you." Rainbow awkwardly entered into the conversation, saw who it was, and she froze. "Hey, uh, you. Welcome to my house and all. Dash didn't tell me that you'd show up."

Blossomforth bounded in past Fluttershy with a leap and bowed to Dash. "Well I guess I owe Kicker some cool fifty bits cause you are like the pinnacle of sheer hugeness like what do you eat like manly stallions for breakfast? But I dunno, you look familiar, but that's like impossible since I only read some of those smut books that get me going and yet you look like one of those rare model types."

Fluttershy felt her cheeks redden at the thought that maybe there could be photos of that very strainge and awkward time she was a model still out there floating around, but she tried to think of happier things.

"You girls want to go to Sugarcube Corner, cause I don't think Fluttershy here planned for another guest so early in the day."

"Dude. you buying cause that'd be good for me. But like I heard Pinkie's been experimenting with pumpkins in food and it is good stuff. Oh I have a great idea, let's race there and the first one there gets their food for free! " With that said, Blossomforth sped off, wanting to keep her bits intact because of her lost bet and also she hated paying for stuff.

Fluttershy turned and faced Dash. "So the whole one night stand thing she mentioned now?"

Dash glanced down at the floor. "Shy, it was a real bad time and Blossom doesn't really take no for an answer. Like I've been in stuff before, but the Blossom stuff? I just dunno. I played up my awesomeness and said I got with all these ponies to fit in her weird clique she has and well, if I'm honest, I never did anything."

Fluttershy raised an eyebrow and tried Staring. It still didn't work. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. Like the most I ever did with her playmare hookup ways was just talk to the ponies all night when I got one. Like I felt uncomfortable hitting on ponies, it just doesn't always work and Blossom's really pushy and kind of creepy sometimes so I went with it and that was it."

Fluttershy sighed. "Fine, but remember, we can't pull this messed up switch Twilight's stuck us in if we lie to each other."

"Sure." Fluttershy and Dash quickly and quietly did the Pinkie Pie Swear. They both knew that breaking honesty with one another now would invoke the wrath of Pinkie and both of them were typically scared of the pink pony's infinite rage. They tried to quickly shuffle out of Fluttershy's house to at least make it look like they tried to beat Blossomforth's farce of a race.

When the two pegasi got to Sugarcube Corner, they heard a large commotion coming from inside. Blossomforth's wavering high pitched voice echoed out into the street. The icy cold shift from bubbly Blossomforth to anger made the two pegasi try and find a way out of the situation if they really had to.

"What are you two doing here?"

Dash stopped for a second when she recognized the other two voices.

"I wanted pie."

"And I wanted to stop Soarin from raiding the Wonderbolt fridge and besides I have other reasons to be here Blossom. It's a free country and your commander of air flow hasn't been returning my mail or calls and those potions are expensive."

Dash yanked on Fluttershy's tail and jumped firmly into the nearest bush. Sure aiming for anything more comfortable would be both better for their backs and dignity but having Spitfire in Ponyville was the worst possible scenario right now. She never seemed to leave Canterlot if she didn't have to and besides Wonderbolt appearances where she seemed chill and calm, she was the scariest pony Dash had known since childhood and she was raised in a circus with hardcore performers.

"Dash, that really hurt, why are we even in this bush cause I bet this isn't even hiding us from the ponies that have you so spooked."

Dash pulled a broken branch from her pink mane. "Shy, once we get out of this bush I'm getting a better haircut for you cause this sucks but seriously that's Spitfire and Soarin in there and I really doubt you want to be in front of them acting like me. Also maybe I think better in bushes. It gets me in the zone."

Fluttershy laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of Dash. "What are you talking about? Spitfire seemed nice when I met her once or twice. She's probably fine."

Dash stared at Shy. "When did that happen?"

"I was a model, Dash. I met ponies from all over for a bit."

Dash facehoofed. "Sure, whatever you go in there and meet Spitfire. Whatever. But I'm going to warn you that Spitfire loves to mess with ponies. Like she's super hardcore."

Fluttershy picked herself up and dusted herself off, checking for random branches and trotted inside. Dash awkwardly tried to follow and play it cool. It wasn't every day that Fluttershy fell into a bush. She could play it off probably. Dragging her hooves out one by one took some getting used to since her new size left a Fluttershy shaped hole in the middle of the bush. Shaking her head, Dash tiptoed into the Corner and breathed heavily to try and calm down her slightly racing heart. She blinked slowly as she saw a relatively normal scene.

Sure Blossomforth looked a bit miffed about something but it was Blossom. She'd probably forget about the slight in about five seconds after she saw a good looking pony to hit on. Dash heard Fluttershy move through the ins and outs of Canterlot etiquette well in regards to Spitfire: Step One, you suck, and Step Two, Spitfire knows best.

"Sorry about the whole, uh, not getting back to you thing. Guess I threw the mail into a big pile and forgot about it, my bad."

Spitfire smiled. "Oh its not too bad. It's so great to see a little town again like Ponyville. Reminds me of home. But if it happens again, I'm going to make your training sessions a living portal to Tartarus." Spitfire didn't break the smile.

"Fire, that wasn't what you said over here. I thought you said we just wanted to say hi and also party a bit. Why are you acting all tough again-"

A thump could be heard from underneath the table and Soarin' took a bite of his pie to keep generally quiet.

"And also its so nice to see Blossomforth, the best ex-Wonderbolt I know. Well I guess there aren't all that many but its nice to see one of the few celebrities that Ponyville still has."

Dash eyed Blossomforth. The light grey pegasus tapped a hoof as she tried to eat a pumpkin cheesecake muffin. In all the years that Dash knew Blossom, the idea that she was a Wonderbolt at some point surprised her. Usually there was just her insane focus to get laid to talk about and anytime Dash had wanted to know more about her and Cloud Kicker, the pegasus had changed the conversation into yet another wingmare attempt.

"Well I manage, Spitty, what do you do anyway again? I thought the leader of the Wonderbolts was built off backstabbing me. Cause that's what happened. I turned around for one second and there you were telling Celestia how shit I was at my job. Cool to see you too, really makes this awesome muffin taste extra bitter."

Spitfire stretched and laid a hoof over the booth. "I guess being the face of the Wonderbolts sure is awesome, Blossom, when you are the most notorious leader of the team after you've screwed every fan in existence."

Blossomforth slammed a hoof on the table. "It wasn't that bad. It was only like forty ponies or something and anyway I did my stuff after hours and completely consensual. I'm not a monster."

"Yeah, well. It kind of was the whole continuous orgy thing that looked bad. And the drugs and the vacations and all the stuff. But sure at least you have standards. Horrible, terrible standards that made everypony in Canterlot treat us like the biggest inside joke in the world. Like I couldn't go anywhere without a comment of "Wow, there goes another one of Captain Blossomfuck's harem" or something else. You almost ruined the Wonderbolts."

Blossomforth stood up and leaned over the table. "We both know of the kind of shit the past Captains of the 'Bolts did. I've read the histories and you have too, so get off your high horse and realize that maybe I was the one following the example of the greatest Captains in history and then there's just you. My second in command who just likes the rulebook so much she'd rather fuck it then act like a normal pony and actually live a little you straight edge bitch." Blossomforth breathed in and smiled. "Well sorry about that little outburst Sugarcube Corner, guess I have to fill up the swear jar. Nice to see you Dash and really nice to meet you Fluttershy, I like how you fill up the room, haha. But alas and alack, I really need to get some chill pills again and like go zonk out and all that." Blossomforth shuffled out and Fluttershy swore she could see a film of tears on her face as she passed by.

Sugarcube Corner stayed uncomfortably quiet for what felt like an eternity until the light gray pegasus left.

"Sorry folks, nothing to see here." Spitfire grumbled at the eerily silent ponies.

Fluttershy and Dash awkwardly squirmed in their seats, trying to find a comfortable position now that they seemed on edge from the awkward display.

Soarin put down his pie and stared at Spitfire. Spitfire looked back at him and groaned.

"What did I do?"

"You know what you did, Spitty. You said we were off the clock in Wonderbolt time and, you know what, it seemed like we were. And then you see a pony from out of your past and make them blow up for no reason? This sucks cause now I think this awesome pie is ruined cause it just reminds me of now and I don't really like now." He pushed the pie away, partially uneaten and crossed his hooves. "I'm just going to wait right here until you realize how childish you were."

Spitfire looked at both Fluttershy and Dash, trying to play the whole thing off cool. "Well, that's cool. See I still have two ponies that I was actually here for anyway so no biggie. So Dash, you know the whole Wonderbolt Season is coming up and I need to have you come in for routine training and all that jazz."

Fluttershy coughed awkwardly as she tried to put on a Dash smile but she just looked like she was in pain. "Sure, like I'm totally ready for that."

Soarin tapped a hoof on the table. Spitfire scowled at him and continued.

"Good, like can you come out probably like tomorrow cause then we can catch you up on the about, what was it again, four or five days of training you missed out on just by not responding to my messages." Spitfire kicked 'Dash' under the table to make a point.

"Ugh, sure, whatever."

Soarin cleared his throat and laughed. "See, Fire? Only took five minutes and can we now please fix the whole causing my second favorite and only ex-captain I know from running around like a sad pony?"

Spitfire scowled. "Well she did almost ruin the Wonderbolts."

He stared back and booped Spitfire on the nose. "And that was more than five years ago. By this point nopony cares. It's in the past and while I know you can be spiteful and nasty to ponies you don't like, can you please at least grow up and act like the captain I know you are ninety nine point nine percent of the time and like not stoop down to calling her names and all that?"

Spitfire pouted. Dash tried not to laugh but the idea of Spitfire, the most hardcore and terrifying of ponies being talked down to by Soarin, who while she thought he was cool at first, came off as bit of a nerdy egghead that knew way too much about pies, was kind of surreal.

"And what do I get out of this, Soarin?"

"I don't block you from your favorite pastime when on breaks."

Spitfire blushed crimson. "Fine. But this is definitely not going to be fun at all, you idiot."

Soarin grinned and leaned back, gingerly taking a bite of his pie. "Well if it wasn't going to be easy, then it would be your way of doing things. I think I remember a few days in Las Pegasus where we totally had one of these hard times." The light blue pegasus laughed and quickly finished his pie. "Well, if you really want to get going to fix your little mistake, I'm done with my pie now so I'm good here. Guess the taste came back again. You coming or not?"

Spitfire twitched in her seat, thinking of all the possible ways to get out of apologizing to a pony that she really did not care for. Soarin just waited and tapped a hoof. "Fine, okay. I'll go fix this whole thing just so you can stop looking at me like that."

Soarin beamed and chuckled. "Well I do know how to push your buttons. But see you two around cause I don't think you or your friend here, Dash, really wanted to see some old Wonderbolt drama. It really hurts the look Spitty here's been cultivating for a few years of complete infallibility."

The two Wonderbolts left and the two remaining pegasi sat there in silence. Fluttershy tried to speak first but a quiet squeak came out instead.

"Yeah, Shy, I really don't want to follow them or get a muffin. I just want to get out of here as fast as possible and relax. That sound good? How about we hang out with Scootaloo or something way simpler than this?"

Fluttershy nodded.

Twilight stretched her wings and looked around expecting Pinkie Pie to burst out at any moment. She had told the pink pony to meet her to fix the whole predicament of Pinkie being a stallion. Cause having one less mess on her hooves made her sleep better at night.

"You know you'll have to do the thing, Twilight." Luna started snickering as the thought passed through her half conscious mind.

Twilight groaned. "Like we haven't tried to figure out like ten different options for that. And anyway stop getting in my dreams, I really find it awkward for you always commenting on my deepest fantasies like that."

Luna blinked herself awake and rolled out of bed, falling face first onto the floor. Shaking herself awake, she looked up at Twilight and smiled. "Well there are always perks about controlling and guiding the dream world. One of those is having a ton of dirt on everypony ever."

Twilight shivered with how easy Luna could destroy Equestria if that was true. "Well, like don't cause the sheer problems I could foresee just by letting that information out is horrible."

Luna chuckled. "It's just your viewpoint, I do believe. Having a bit of fun with one's subjects in jest can be quite invigorating. Or maybe being stuck on the moon for a thousand years makes somepony find small joys like that exciting." Luna sipped a coffee she had floated over to keep her awake out of necessity and smiled.

Twilight heard a clattering of hooves, or most likely the pitter patter clopping of bouncing hooves. That should be Pinkie, Twilihgt surmised, since the bouncing strides that the pink pony did to move around usually went against all forms of normal pony strides. She halked it up to Pinkie either being a secret chaos powered pony or Pinkie being Pinkie.

Pinkie skidded into the room, his stop casually vaulting him into a somersault that Twilight thought should be impossible due to momentum and physics and a dainty bow once his hooves had finally reached the floor again, a perfect display of how strangely athletic and nonchalant Pinkie could be about the weird skill he possessed.

"Hiya, Twilight, sorry for taking so long, I would have come over sooner but there was like a big whole mess at the Corner and some Wonderbolts were super mad at one another and like it really got awkward, and then I realized that you told me to come over and like I did so I'm here now." Pinkie grinned and patiently waited for Twilight to get all the information. Pinkie knew that Twilight took a little while to figure out exactly what he meant. Which was kind of funny to Pinkie, if Twilight was such a smarty pants, it surprised her how easily Pinkie could derail Twilight's thoughts just by speaking.

"That's- thank you Pinkie, that's something. Um, well, okay then, Let's see." Twilight carefully floated over her mathematical diagrams and notes and skimmed them quickly. "Okay, yes, Pinkie you just have to stand right there and let me and Luna get down to business."

Luna giggled to herself. "Well that's the most diplomatic way to put dispelliing a sexual enhancement so entwined with one's own mystical aura to be almost perfectly attuned to one's own self visualization and also I can see what fun enhancements our newest Princess put on it to make a little more fun."

Twilight blushed heavily. "I mean I didn't want to waste the chance and then once I kind of found out that I really could not end the spell cause it mixed too well, then I called you."

Luna floated over a pitcher of coffee and a hair scrunchie, she winked at Twilight as she fired up her horn. Taking a sizable gulp of the hot and so very addictive liquid that Equestria was now so wonderfully blessed with, the blue princess set it back down and turned to Pinkie. "Yes, and I do love seeing what fun shenanigans our sister's most favored student and best success story can get up to while she's playing Starswirl the Bearded's role and its so wonderful. But I do prefer the more direct route to explaining our fun little session here."

Twilight stammered out a hasty rebuttal. "Yes, well I was totally going to get to that and all but it takes time and preparation to get into this spell."

"Yes, and by that time I would have needed another pot of coffee and there's no time like the present. Let's get down to brass tacks because there's only so much time in the day and I have to get ready for both taking a nap and preparing for a party invitation. But no matter-" Luna dispelled the invisibility spell that she had felt when Pinkie had entered the room and the pink monster that Luna surmised Twilight had hidden with such grace and finesse flopped out and greeted her. "it looks like our business is just getting down to the fun part. And also Twilight, I can see why you can remind me so very much of my sister when she was young."

Both Pinkie and Twilight tilted their heads. Pinkie out of actual interest, since it sounded like a setup for a joke; Twilight's movement was because she was confused as to why Celestia had been mentioned. Twilight let out a faint reply as the sheer fact that the idea today of Princess Luna being so strangely normal and in front of her currently male marefriend and the sheer strangeness of her life hit her. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Luna wryly grinned. "Oh just because she was also what these ponies today would call a 'size queen.' Though bravo. That took her like four hundred years of being generally unhappy with the sexual prowess of her attempts at love. It took you like two. Now can we please get down to the fornication because this may be one of the most impressive stallion rods I have seen in many years."

Pinkie awkwardly laughed, the sentence Luna said finally hitting him. His deep baritone sputtering as the idea hit his brain and rattled around there. "Uh, thanks? I guess? I mean Twilight was the one who did the spell and all that. And what was that about sex?"

Twilight facehoofed. Of course the whole spell cancellation test would be a mess. "It's just that the only way the spell seems to work is that we have to shock your system back to normal. And the quickest way is that one."

Luna chuckled. "Well the one which was the least painful. Now let's just see what little Twilight gave you." Luna bent down and stared intently at the whole package deal. A two foot dick stared back with a pair of apple sized balls. Luna coughed. "Well that's truly something. Twilight, you are truly my sister's protege in every silly sense of the word. Cause this is not going to work the normal way."

Pinkie's ears perked at the thought of there being new and exciting ways to spice up the parties the pink pony threw. "Does this mean this is going to be the most fantastically memorable and slightly awkward fun time cause that's what I ten to see at parties. Ponies being horribly, horribly awkward and I guess it makes sense cause y'know like sex is this whole mess and all that and-"

Luna held Pinkie's mouth shut with a bit of magic. She loved seeing the different ways Laughter could be used for the best kind of medicine and she felt a kinship to this pony because of the ways she exuded the Element in her daily life but she needed to not be off track.

"Yes, well, if somepony hadn't been slightly a tad bit reckless with her powers then we wouldn't have this impressively sized problem."

Twilight scoffed. "Yeah, I mean it wasn't like I fixed the main issue of having a thirty foot tall Pinkie Pie with weird tentacles and a stallion. That took some wrangling to figure out."

Luna raised an eyebrow at Twilight's snark and shook her head. It was probably just some reaction to the nearly week long stresses of Princesshood. "Well, let's get down to business to fix this issue so I can take a nap. Twilight, if you please, let's go through the two main plans B and C, since A- the ever so useful oral stimulation route is mostly off the table."

Pinkie sighed. "Well that's unfortunate, Twilight has great oral skills. I mean what with all the big and multisyllablic words she knows, its like a party in her mouth." Pinkie smiled, his beatific visage making Twilight blush furiously.

Luna giggled. "Oh, I like you." Luna and Twilight fired up their horns, as they ran through spell matrices and different forms of magical usage in their heads, their auras shifting between different hues of colors as they both they to create the most stable kind of alicorn magic in this context that they could. Finally, Twilight settled on the one magical thing she had learned about while she was stuck in the human world for a little bit- the hand and its many flexible joints still fascinated her with the possibilities it offered, while Luna set up a spell that Pinkie felt immediately. A creeping sensation of many differently sized tongues wrapped around the affected area and began their ministrations.

Pinkie bucked his hips as the feelings flooded his brain as synapses kept firing through cycles and cycles of pleasure as he realized that maybe being a unicorn had some magical perks in this whole fun thing. "Oh this is a wondiferous thing."

Luna smiled to herself. "Yes, well, I took a bit of inspiration for this little idea from both of your minds. And while I like the feeling of cooperation I have with helping Twilight in this case, I am not Cadance so this is not my speed." Luna's horn flickered as she sent the spell's control to Twilight, the blue aura mixing with Twilight's purple and letting Twilight take this whole situation over. While she doubted Twilight was skilled in the requisite areas of a spell like this, she noticed that the purple alicorn worked off experience and techniques that made her proud of her sister's choice. And while she would love spending time with her subjects in this way, the two ponies here needed time by themselves. "And with that, I bid you adieu, cause I need my beauty rest, else I can't share my time with the nightlife here."

Luna turned and left the lovers in their embrace. And anyway, if she wanted to play around with ponies, it was so much easier to do it in their dreams. She didn't know where to start with real life after just coming back and returning to public life. Glancing back, she saw Twilight's eyes shift to pinpricks as the overload of magic started going under control. Yes, Twilight was a master of magic, true, but there was still some fun ways to tease her. Luna yawned and headed off to bed, since dreamland was far more preferable to late afternoon silliness.

Soarin looked through the last possible place that Blossomforth could be- after a long few hours of tracing back the steps of a mare that moved in very strange ways, weaving in between stalls and houses in a beeline of confusion for any pursuers- Soarin could swear that the previous Wonderbolt captain really didn't want to be found.

But she hadn't met his determination of completing this assignment, or the sheer annoyance and intimidation Spitfire could muster when she really wanted to get what she wanted. Soarin wondered if Spitfire should find at least one other hobby than himself, it'd probably make her a more balanced pony. Or at least give him some free time every once in a while.

"Are we done yet? Cause after running into that spa and fending off two rather insistent spa ponies about staying there for some celebrity special, I really think this town is not all what its cracked up to be."

Soarin silently agreed to that fact. Ponyville was anything but normal. "Well, we only have to find Blossom and then we won't have to deal-" Soarin's agreeable response was cut off by the door he was standing next to swinging open with enough force to stun him. Glancing through the spinning birds that were spinning around his head, he looked and saw Cloud Kicker. He groaned out a "We found them." and fell asleep for a bit.

"What the fuck are you two even doing here?" Cloud Kicker spat out.

"Is that the reception I get everywhere I go in this town? I mean there was Blossomforth which is expected and then the nice ponies from the flower stalls and the spa ponies and now I have you berating me for doing my job and accidentally meeting a pony I thought was probably dead or something." Spitfire crossed her forehooves and glared back, undaunted by years of Solar Guard training that Cloud Kicker held in reserve.

"Well maybe if you didn't make my generally fun to be around roommate and whatever else start sobbing like a bitch, then sure I would think the harsh reception would be unwarranted. But nope, you are on my shit list."

"Well can I just come in so I get this over with. Cause while I love to mess with ponies and make their lives a living Tartarus, I don't like when my life is worse than a normal day and this week's been real shitty." Spitfire sighed and waited.

Cloud Kicker narrowed her eyes. "Fine, but if you try any funny business, I have a ton of weapons here. One step out of line and that's it." Cloud Kicker drew a hoof across her own neck to prove a point.

"Loud and clear." Spitifire walked over broken shards of glass and a hole in the roof where light streamed in bringing dute motes and shattered wood into relief like an abstract painting.

"Oh I'm super fucking sorry about the mess, its not like my generally okay on and off girlfriend flew home at two hundred miles an hour. But I guess I could get Lyra and Bon Bon to help me. They owe me after we stopped a Changeling attack here."

Spitfire cocked her head at that. "But there hasn't been Changelings since the wedding."

Cloud Kicker chuckled. "Yeah, that's true. Or at least reported sightings that go beyond a minor foothold- but believe you me, its a real mess out there and one day the Changeling horde will come and try again cause their queen has a grudge against ponies."

Spitfire shrugged. Well if that problem isn't a major one then that's fine. She walked up to the door that had Blossomforth's name splashed on it in neon pink and green paint. Tacky, but Spitifire liked the idea of at least being able to see where she was going in a house that went through a equine disaster. "Quickly poppimg her head in to see a giant mass of blankets and no complete mess of a pony staring back at her, she entered and sat herself down and started talking to a lightly breathing and sobbing blanket fort. Just like awkward and horrible times when Soarin got into his mare flick phase. "So Blossom, we got super on the wrong hoof."

Spitfire could hear a sad muffled whimper from the blankets as she said that and she carefully picked her next words carefully. "Sure, I didn't expect you to be in that decent bakery but not entirely cause I hate you- though I have major issues with you, I mean I still can't deal with pudding the same way after you flooded the whole palace with tapioca pudding, or that time you gave poison joke to kids that was probably a complete felony there. Or when you tried to screw Discord's statue when you were drunk. But I thought you ran the Wonderbolts decently in between the outright haze that you held most days and you made the Wonderbolts the most talked about sports team in the country. Sure that was mainly because we were having scandals so frequently, it sucked to be your number two but I don't know. It's a horrible thing and I hate most of it looking back but its this nostalgic thing I can't just pretend didn't happen."

Spitfire could see movement and she noticed the glint of eyes staring back at her red and bloodshot through an excess of tears and Spitfire shrugged. "I guess seeing you put some things that have been stewing in the back of my mind out in the front. I mean you didn't destroy the Wonderbolts with your antics and here I am maybe wrecking them with mine-" Spitfire breathed in to stop her from becoming a mess like Blossomforth was. "Blossom, I might actually need you to help me deal with the ponies of Canterlot cause I really suck at dealing with others and like I just got a notice that the Wonderbolts- they might be shutting us down."

Blossomforth's head popped out of Fort Cotton and she quickly dried her eyes on one of the structural beams of the plush fort. "Wait, wait, wait, is this a get out of ostracism and complete social inanity free card you are offering? Cause I'd be down for that- well on one condition."

"What's that?"

Blossom's answer was given when she felt her head jolt to the side with one of the strongest backhoofed slaps she had felt since her training. Blinking past her body's natural reaction to start welling up tears and wiping a split lip that started oozing a bit of red blood down her yellow orange coat, she slowly started to laugh. Slowly because her cheek felt like it was on fire and it hurt to move her tongue around in her mouth.

"I deserved that."

Blossomforth sighed. "I-I'm sorry about that. It's just after years of nothing from you and living out here in a town that I truly have grown to like but its no Canterlot, just wondering if I could get the call back from the cold and here you come years later asking for help cause your terrible bedside manner has ruined the one organization I have cared for in my own way it sucks. It does. That's all my anger out there, I know I should be far more angry with the world for throwing me out like last year's fashion but I can't its just not me." Blossomforth giggled. "I mean I don't care about what other ponies think and here you are worrying too much. But seriously don't do this again."

"Sure."

Blossomforth stared at Spitfire dead on, unblinking and serious. "No, I mean don't do this again. Cloud Kicker really doesn't like it when I'm super sad and depressed. Plus she knows how to murder ponies."

Spitfire awkwardly laughed and glanced at Cloud Kicker's unmoving face.

"So uh, like, we are all starting training tomorrow. So are you good skipping out on work for a bit?"

Blossomforth happily chirped at Cloud Kicker. "Hey, CK, is it fine that I can skip out and hang with my old crew here?"

Cloud Kicker nodded. "I guess I could run the ship with four ponies and a few auxiliaries on the team. Plus its not like Dash is gonna worry about this shit. So I'm good with it, go paint Canterlot pink or whatever."

Spitfire wondered if she was going to regret her decision later when she was asleep and thinking rationally.

"Hey Dash!" Scootaloo ran up as quick as she could to her favorite blue pegasus. Running face first into her mentor, she looked up to see what exactly would be happening today. 'Dash' smiled at her and tousled her hair as she tried to thik of what to do- with the party only a few hours away, the idea of spending hours with Scootaloo was inconceivable.

Fluttershy glanced over at Rainbow Dash, even though Dash was supposed to be acting like her Fluttershy noticed the pegasus being unusually quiet.

"Well, uh, Scoots, we are going to see Twilight cause she could probably help you with your problem."

Scoots brightened up immediately. "So does that mean magic could like give me a chance to fly?"

Fluttershy tried to put on a brave face for Scootaloo. "Maybe." She completely doubted that was possible, but Twilight did impossible things on a regular enough basis that she was unsure.

The three pegasi began walking towards the library. Fluttershy noticed a line of a few ponies waiting for the doors to be opened- which she thought was weird. With how the sun was positioned in the sky, the time had to be around 3pm which was hours after Twilight usually opened the palace to nopony in particular. Ending up at the back of the line behind, of all ponies, Sparkler and her horrible attitude, Fluttershy tried to smile. In front of them stood both Applejack and Big Mac and they looked peeved about something.

Thankfully before Sparkler could berate her least favorite ponies in the world, the doors slowly opened and Pinkie glanced out. An oddly normal Pinkie. Back to normal mare Pinkie. She quickly pushed down a stuck patch of hair and broadly smiled at the line. "Well isn't this a party? Well I guess I haven't really been doing parties as of the last week cause y'know being a dude and all that but look I'm back to the Pinkie we have come to know and love and generally tolerate if my small list of ponies I don't like can attest."

A loud crash could be heard from the inside as Twilight's muffled pains echoed through the halls into the bring and cheerful day outside. "Pinkie, this is the fifth worst mess I've had to clean up due to a spell and I once turned my kindergarten class into sentient mold. It's all in my hair and everything."

"Twilight, you have visitors, do I have to ask them to come back at a better time or what?" Pinkie yelled back with a sheepish look on her face as multiple ponies rolled their eyes at the weird display of a princess being a normal pony.

More banging and flashes of light later, Twilight sputtered into the daylight, her eyes squinting at the throng of ponies there to meet her. Quickly catching her breath from running the whole length of her oversized castle, she hastily apologized. "Sorry about that, my, uh, super personal appointment at ten went about four hours over schedule."

Pinkie giggled. Twilight glanced at her and sighed.

"Yes, well what wonderful friendship issues can I solve today?" She quickly pointed at the most angry and annoyed pony in the line. Who just so happened to be Sparkler, whose unbridled waves of annoyance made her have a wide berth. "Yes, and what seems to be the problem I can solve like magic for you?"

Sparkler stared at Twilight for a few seconds and spoke. "Yes, well like you stole the Winter Wrap Up Team Manager job from me and I hate you and also I think you and your crazy friends with the stupid baubles of magic are trying to destroy the peace and sanctity of this town. It's a yearly event to get the town destroyed now and its usually your fault."

Twilight stared at the pony seemed so very familiar. "Uh, what's your name again? Amethyst Star? Or was that a random Canterlot pony I knew once?"

Sparkler breathed in and out, trying to find her happy place. "It's Sparkler."

Twilight beamed. "Ah I knew it would come to me once you said it. I mean I probably could give you your favorite job back in theory, since I am a princess now and my powers of state could trump weird red tape- but like go to City Hall for that. I think the Mayor's a better pony to get that sorted out. Aha, I know what might help." Twilight floated over a dusty stamp from her nearby chair, it zooming past her and stopping inches in front of Sparkler's face. "And Pinkie if you can pull out a scrap of paper please. . ." Pinkie dug around in her hair, and while Twilight wondered how Pinkie could house objects on her self so easily without a bag or pockets, she chalked that up to once again Pinkie being Pinkie and moved on. "Good, now if you just hand me that and, hmm, affix the royal seal of friendship and do a bit of magic and here you go."

Twilight floated over a hastily sighed document with her cutie mark and an indentation of her hoof and signature. Twilight awkwardly smiled at the incredulous unicorn. "I know, I know. I should have probably stopped at the royal seal but then I worried that someone as studious with her bureaucratic matters like Mayor Mare, could see it as a forgery so I added in the other things as a greater way to let her know that it is my idea. But with that I bet you'll be able to hold the Winter Set Up and Wrap Up celebrations this year, and with me being a princess and all, I probably can't fit that into my schedule and with how this weeks been going I need something off my mind." Twilight stopped her rambling mid thought and faded into silence. She never was one for royal proclamations.

Sparkler quietly floated the document into her bag. She breathed in and out for a few seconds and wiped a tear from her eye as she realized that she was that much closer to doing her dream hobby once again. Her life had meaning beyond the drudgery that, while she was the best manager ever in Ponyville Hayburger history, it wasn't the job she wanted. She collected her thoughts and turned back to Twilight. "So, uh, about the whole Elements of Harmony being a magical magnet for evil thing?"

Twilight rubbed her chin for a moment. "Well the theoretical possibility of them acting as a point of pure good could be related to how gravity could work in theory upon space time. I mean it could be such a force for good that it draws evil towards itself and unfortunately we all live in Ponyville. But then if that was the case, even if we lived on six different equidistant points in Equestria, then the place evil could appear would be in the center or thereabouts and then I don't know where that would leave us."

Sparkler nodded, maybe understanding a third of that. "So we might be stuck with the threat of unknowable, existential dread and horror either way?"

Twilight cocked her head at the thought. "I mean, I guess so, but its more of this might be the safest way to keep Equestria safer overall. If, and a big if, your hypothesis is true. I mean we could always test that and I don't currently have a pony to really help me in the stranger ideas I come up when I have one of my insomnia nights. And anyway, Pinkie can't keep taking time out of her day to spend time with me."

"But Twily, you don't seem to mind when I do take time out of my day." Pinkie winked at Twilight, who blushed a deep crimson before coughing and moving on.

"Yes, well, I mean after this week of having you with me all the time, I might need a bit of a break."

Pinkie nodded sagely. "That's fair."

Sparkler connected the dots. "So are you giving me a job or not?"

Twilight composed her thoughts. "Well I guess I could see this as a trial period, so yes? But we'd probably have to hash out a contract so this is legit." She awkwardly patted down an out of place part of her mane. "I mean being a princess adds all these layers and paper trails. I can't just expect somepony to come work for me cause I tell them too. Plus it just feels weird. But I guess if you want a bit of tea, I could fit you in like in a few days once you think about it." Twilight smiled her best impression of a Celestia smile. Which given her untrained facial muscles, came out more of a strained grin.

"Uh, cool, I got a lot of business to think about." Sparkler walked off, holding a hoof to her head.

Twilight pointed at Applejack and Big Mac. "Uh, what do I have to do for you two this afternoon?"

Big Mac stared down at the short alicorn. "I reckon you got to explain to at least my sister that she shouldn't be using that gender flippery spell you made cause Rares used it and now I keep worrying the whole world would be topsy turvy and weird again. Also I worry that somehow your spell worked a bit too well and my sisters stuck in the family way."

Applejack punched him in the side. "I told you that in confidence you big idiot and I never said I was. I said I might be. I don't know how magic works, especially all this sex stuff. I didn't even know that was a possible spell or whatever but like I was thinking super hard after I had a wee bit of a freakout and like can your spell you gave Rarity do that?"

Twilight sputtered. "I mean, I think so, but the possibilities, and the, well." Twilight breathed in and out. "I mean sure if you had one of your cycles and also if you two were having a bit of personal time." Twilight tweaked her word choice after she noticed that Scootaloo was in the audience- though she was mainly bored.

Applejack covered her eyes with her hat. "I mean it might have gone that way, ah, maybe once or twice."

Twilight took a measured breath as she tried to think of the most delicate way to put this. "Well AJ, then you are most likely. But we'd have to run tests and everything to make sure if that was the case. I'd say go to Ponyville General and explain to Nurse Redheart your problem and all that and get that checked out first. While I know a fair bit of magic and dabbled in medicine when I was bored out of my mind with Canterlot parties- I don't know what's what with your problem." Twilight turned to Big Mac. "And Mac, I get having a weird time when a sibling gets all in love with somepony. It's weird, horrible, and I still can't entirely look at Cadance or Shining Armor directly at family functions after hearing what went on in their bedroom. While I made the magic, talk to Rarity if you had a problem with her conduct."

Big Mac looked at Twilight with a puzzled expression. "I never said that."

Twilight coughed. "Oh sorry about that, mind reading trick Luna's been teaching me off and on between the whole "my life is a complete dumpster fire and I don't know what to do about it" kind of feeling this last week has been. Sorry. It's just its so handy and I might be completely sleep deprived so as to not question the moral problems of mind reading. But just talk to Rarity. She'd probably be far more open to this than I would be and anyway you have a problem with her and not me." Applejack and Big Mac shared a look and shrugged.

Applejack turned to Twilight and looked her in the eye. "Well sure, but if this comes back all positive or whatever those doctors say in the General, I'm gonna come back up here and drag Rarity with me so as to get all this figured out. Cause it may not 'be your problem' but you did make the magic so I count you as either a godmother or the worst aunt in existence."

Twilight cringed. "Well I don't know, with how often I get to see Flurry Heart, I bet if you have a kid, they'd have to fight for the right to call me the worst aunt ever."

Applejack facehoofed. "Twi, you know what I mean."

"Well I didn't exactly get the nuance there but I'll guess that was me misinterpreting the intent or the tone there. But sure I'll take partial responsibility for a mistake or two."

Applejack rolled her eyes. Sometimes talking to Twilight was more of a hassle than it was worth but she guessed the purple alicorn had her heart in the generally right place. Deciding that any further talking would lead Twilight into weirder tangents and derail the entire conversation enough that the party's supply of cider would never appear, Applejack nudged Big Mac in the side and quickly left without saying much in the ways of goodbyes.

Twilight awkwardly turned and breathed out a sigh of relief. "Well I'm glad that's, uh, put off until another day. Now what can I do with you besides switching your brains back, Dash and Fluttershy?"

"Twilight now what are you talking about cause see we came here for Scootaloo and not whatever problem you dreamed up." Fluttershy spoke up and tried to deflect the big reveal since almost nopony knew about the two pegasi swtiching bodies- especially not the one orange filly that looked up to Dash.

Twilight realized what she said as her stress abated and tried to laugh it off. "See that's why I can't always get one off on you, Dash, you are too fast." Twilight hated that this sounded like an alien possessed her and was failing at talking like a normal pony but she was stressed out.

Dash rolled her blue eyes and took hold of idiot and cuter idiot trying to talk to one another. "Uh, Twilight, Scootaloo has a problem here and she really wants to have you, uh, fix it with magic."

Twilight looked down at the filly and bent down. Breathing past the stress she gained from flubbing a major secret, she looked down at the pegasus. "Is it about flying again?"

Scootaloo nodded and handed her the doctor's note she had got back from the two pegasi while they walked over here. Twilight looked over the note, realized that she could barely read it and quickly performed a silent translation spell to make the point far more legible. She glanced from the note, to Scootaloo, and back to Fluttershy and Dash.

"Oh well that's something. You want me to fix this with magic?" Twilight floated over a collection of medical tomes that she had accrued through her "Welcome to being an Alicorn" country tour. Some of the tomes had been lost outright when Tirek had blown up her treehouse, but most had survived when she put a hasty shield spell on them in the nick of time. Flipping through tomes as fast as she could read, she came upon the one diagnosis that the doctor had written down. "Oh. Well that's. . .something."

Scootaloo's ears perked up at that. "Is that a good thing or not?"

Twilight glanced at Dash. "It's well, its not great. I really, really don't want to touch this with magic what with your age and all that- and really with my track record I'd be worried I'd make this far worse or something."

"So I can't fly at all?"

"No that's definitely not what you mean, see this diagnosis is for cerebral palsy and I'm most definitely not a medical doctor and there's so many differences between each pony diagnosed with this, its- I just can't. But I guess you look far more normal than the worst cases in this book, though that doesn't mean you don't have symptoms of it. And it won't exactly get worse with some help but flying may be possible. It might just be difficult."

Scootaloo looked down and stayed quiet. "So like could it go away after I get my cutie mark and all that?"

Twilight drew in breath and sighed. "No, no it won't and it won't go away when your an adult and depending on how your body will react then, it might be not the, uh, best time. But I could see you maybe having a pretty normal life." Twilight quickly racked her brain for at least one example of a decently okay pony here. "Uh, Ditzy seems completely fine with her disability and lives a normal life." Twilight inched away and floated the books back into her castle.

Dash spoke up. "Well can't we at least make it so she could have a support system besides y'know Lyra and Bon Bon?"

Twilight nodded. "Yeah sure, that could easily be arranged I mean if you have at least a plan of what to do about it I could easily set up any help she needs."

Scootaloo quickly ran up and hugged Twilight. "Thanks. And thank you Dash and Fluttershy."

"Yeah no problem, uh, Twilight can you keep an eye on Scootaloo for us because while we'd love staying and being totally awesome, the time's getting late and I don't want to bring a kid to a party like the one we are probably going to. And anyway then you can start helping her out cause wouldn't this fall under a friendship problem in the most loosest of ways?" Fluttershy was being proactive and since Dash was still being quiet she decided to take the reins on this.

Scootaloo looked up at Twilight and tried bouncing but failed due to overexcitement. "Really? Does this mean a sleepover or something cause that sounds kind of cool and then you can magic up random pranks and everything."

Twilight sighed. "Whatever but don't touch the stuff I tell you to implicitly not touch. I have already too many weird things in my life, I don't need to have a charge of being a danger to children with magic."

Scootaloo walked over quickly to 'Dash' and looked up at her and hugged her. "Thanks, Fluttershy."

Everypony stopped for just a moment. Fluttershy chuckled and tried to push a polychromatic lock of hair out of her eyes, while Dash was trying to curl up into a Fluttershy shaped ball.

"What?" Fluttershy laughed awkwardly as she tousled Scootaloo's hair.

"Well I guessed something was up when Twilight was acting all weird and also I hang out with Dash all the time and she doesn't handle sad or emotional things as well as you have been handling it so I guessed you were. Plus you keep making yourself act too much like Dash so you seem a bit like a cardboard cutout or a board or something. Also Dash is usually all loose and flying around all calm and carefree and I have barely seen you get off the ground." Scootaloo paused. "I may be super bored in class so I keep getting bad grades, but it doesn't mean I don't notice weird stuff."

Dash spoke up first. "Shy, this is the worst kept secret ever."

"Welcome you mares and stallions and anything in between to the hippest party in the Ponyville area, because its the only party in the Ponyville area! Put your hooves together for Songbird Serenade!" Vinyl Scratch turned off her microphone as the mega popstar took the stage with a flourish and a bow.

Fluttershy and Dash awkwardly turned back towards the bar. "I knew we shouldn't have come. This is just so much and there's so many ponies and I don't know what I'm doing." Fluttershy twirled her multicolored mane in worry as she looked around the packed bar.

Dash took a drink as confused patrons looked on. Fluttershy was not known for drinking or going to parties. "I dunno Shy, like just do what Twilight does in those moments and find your happy place. Cause while I'd love not being here since everypony's giving me a weird stink eye, I don't want to skip out cause Cloud Kicker will put that on you and I don't want that crud."

Fluttershy took a deep breath and tried to relax as the music switched off and Vinyl turned on her microphone again.

"Well when I sent an invite to this next guest, my roommate told me I was insane but look at me now. Welcome to the stage our favorite princess, Luna!"

Rainbow Dash shrugged and took another pull of her cider. "Well that's something you don't see every day."

"Oh thank you, its so nice to come back from my sister's imposed time out and have a, what's the word, fanbase. I think that's it. But without further dilly dallying I could perform a little song I wrote while being stuck on the moon and its called 'My Hatred Flows Forever Like Your Coal Black Heart.' Now Vinyl if you could be a dear and put the instrumental I sent you, it'd be, um, radical." Luna smiled as Vinyl clicked the track into place and a loud unending wall of sound crashed into the partygoers as they scrambled for cover. Luna took a deep breath as the bassline wrapped itself her and fired up her horn's magic. If Songbird Serenade had stallion back up dancers to accentuate her song, Luna decided to one up her favorite pop star and do literal nightmare back up dancers. Celestia always said she had a flair for the dramatic- weaving each dancer out of dreamstuff, she heard the club grow silent as they were confronted with their own worst fears. And then that was when Luna began growling into the microphone.

"Okay, this is probably the worst thing I have ever seen at one of these and I saw Cheerilee strip tease." Rainbow turned away as her nightmares of cute and fluffy woodland creatures singing about their happy lives surrounded her. She could swear she could heard their jovial song in her head as she stuffed napkins into her ears. She glanced over at Fluttershy as the currently blue pegasus was shaking like a leaf. Deciding that anywhere was better than here, she dragged her date into the safest place she could think of- the nearby bathrooms.

Gliding her way through the floor as she saw smiling cartoon animals dancing on the ceiling and walls, she passed a rather awkward scene of Big Mac and Caramel huddling under a table and seemingly making out. Weird place and time to be doing that, but good of them.

She swerved into the bathroom and closed the door. The sound level automatically went from a soul crushing 100 decibels to a more reasonable 80. Though she felt her ears ringing like crazy and tried to hum them back to normal. When that didn't work she moved on- muffled hearing was better than none. She hugged Shy close, the image of a large yellow pegasus enveloping her blue friend in a hug while death metal electronic music played almost made Dash laugh at how ridiculous it was. "Shy, it's okay."

"But the animals, they were all-"

"It's Luna being, I guess, really edgy? Nightmares. It's nothing real."

Fluttershy breathed in and out. "Well, I don't really want to go out there until that's over then, Can we just sit here?"

Rainbow laughed, her voice like tinkling glass. "I guess, I mean if you like sitting on a dirty bathroom surrounded by stalls that ponies probably have some kind of encounter in. Sure. Not my plan for a date though."

Fluttershy wold have said something but she heard a loud retching from a nearby stall. She turned and a familiar pony shambled out. Blossomforth wiped her mouth and waved at the pair, noticeably swaying as she sashayed over and put her forehooves around them and squeezed them tight.

"Dude, isn't this the best party ever. I mean if it isn't, it's like top three. Oh and sorry for ruining your cute gay moment but I just took some of that Poison Joke laced cocaine and boy now I can see in infrared. Or is it chocolate? I don't know. I think my mind is having a mini stroke and I always hate it when that happens. But like remember bitches like tomorrow's Canterlot day and it's going to be awesome."

A loud banging happened as Cloud Kicker dragged herself in, dragging a chair leg in her teeth as she was covered in little cuts and bruses from traversing the glorified mosh pit of horror. "Well shit, this is going in my fucking report. Dear Celestia, your sister's a crazy bitch that things deploying psychotropic magic on ponies is a damn fine and normal idea. Plus she has a weird obsession with sending you to the sun as payback. Your favorite guard, Cloud Kicker." She blinked and noticed that she wasn't talking to a mirror. "Well look at our merry band of idiots. Blossom I told you to lay off the drugs, I know you like getting in 'the danger zone' but like we need you to be on your best behavior. And you two, well keep being gay, I guess, you just chill here cause out there's the Badlands after Celestia dropped a bit more sun on them. Pretty much it's Tartarus."

"Cool." Fluttershy tried to think of a the best place to relax with the dancefloor being a mess. "Hey you want to all go to Hayburger?"

Dash glanced at Shy and shrugged. "Well I guess I could eat."

Blossomforth giggled to herself. "And I need to get back to normal so like yeah food."

Cloud Kicker sighed. "Whatever. But I'm keeping this chair leg. Might fashion it into a handy bat or something after this. It's seen too much action already."

"Well, Dash, how are we getting out of here since the front door's a no go area?" Rainbow leaned over and raised an eyebrow at Fluttershy.

The currently blue pegasus scratched her borrowed polychromatic mane and came up with an idea. And idea that she didn't particularly like but if it meant not facing down her nightmare of magically induced chimeras that ate ponies- she could handle the issue. She quickly whispered into Dash's ear and outlined the plan.

Dash rolled her eyes and walked to a nearby wall that was facing the outdoors, with one tiny window to let in moonlight and breathed in and out, staring at the tiled wall and glancing back at Fluttershy to see the final signal. She waited and as Fluttershy nodded, Dash wound up and hit the wall straight on as hard as Fluttershy's body could.

Dash felt the tile break under her hoof and wondered how Shy could handle the stress of knowing how easily it could be to break stone with her potential. Sliding her hoof back, she poked the wall again and it came tumbling down with a crash, falling outward and the group awkwardly stepped over concrete blocks and checked for glass as they walked in the night air.

Cloud Kicker whistled and hit Dash squarely on the back. "Man, Fluttershy, I haven't seen that kind of weird and unnatural power except there was this one time there was another quiet mountain. Eh, whatever. Guess ponies can punch through a building and take it down with just brute strength. I'd offer to let you join some Canterlot guards but I'd worry you'd rend them like paper." Cloud Kicker laughed, her laugh echoing through the night.

Blossomforth bounced up and down. "Dude, that was rad and also when I'm at Hayburger, I'm ordering all the stuff on the menu. Cause I dunno, but like the munchies are totally hitting me right now."

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy snickered to each other, the day's insanity finally getting to them.