Luna sighed as she continued flying across her little space of heaven. Having the realm of dreams all to herself right now was both calming and lonely. She had partially felt the severing of the entire town of Canterlot from true slumber, but she had also felt twinkling lights of consciousness as her sister tried her best to fix the issue without alerting her more competent relation some hint of alarm. Luna rolled her eyes. How very like Celly to brute force something that took finesse and charm.

She swept through the mental wasteland, singing each and every dream to life once again. It led to some very inopportune glimpses into some of her ponies' sexual desires and she smiled usually when there were some that dreamed about her. She took it as a sign that maybe some healing was coming after her return. And then there was the flood of fantasies about her sister- cute, but night after night? Either some of these aristocrats had some repressed feelings or her sister's intense benevolence for a millennia made for a rather awkward morning routine.

She skirted through the dreamscape, each movement bringing the lightshow of emotions back to life, a veritable rainbow of colors, each hue representing a pony at that moment, the lights above her head connecting her closely to their hopes and dreams.

Luna smiled as she untangled the web of magic that this foul denizen of the deepest pits of Tartarus had cast on her ponies. She wasn't lonely. It was the principle of the thing, dreams were sacred to her and gave her some sense of importance here in this place. It was unfortunate that Equestria's enemies loved her sister's time of day. Luna mused that it was just coincidence that the land was invaded primarily when she was asleep. It must be because they were scared of her magical might.

"Or maybe it's because they need to sleep too, sister."

Luna turned and saw her radiant sister giving off light in her darkened and misty realm. "Well it still is a fair question why every time a bad thing attacks Equestria we are unprepared? What of the darker things that touch upon this place or of that Storm King that Discord loves bragging about knowing? What if they attack while we stand unprepared? What may we do while Equestria would burn?"

Celestia briefly frowned, her true emotions on full display. "Lulu, I have been trying to prepare our nation for war if need be for centuries. We had our shared castle in the middle of a dangerous forest, I built a new one. I brought us to ponies that needed us to show order after Discord's reign. I built the Royal Guard and Wonderbolts for protection from the darker sides of harmony. I did this for us. So you could come back and see that Equestria became what we wanted it to be and try and pass on the one burden you never cared for."

Luna's brow furrowed. "So it's the Elements again. It's always those things. Maybe I don't like having the power of judgement over an entire land with a sweep of thought. Maybe it's the nightmare that we aren't being harmonious. Those things came into our lives from that tree and all we got was heartache. You do remember how we found those right?"

Celestia bowed her head, letting out a deep breath as she saw the dreams of her subjects. "I know. That's harmony though. It's funny. I've heard musicians over the centuries debate on what harmony is. Some say it's a completely peaceful melody and yet others say they found melody in dissonance. To me, harmony is neutral. Neither good or bad, sister. Just existence turning through time. I know there were bad times. It's a fact of life. But I choose to look upon the good things and see those as little victories."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Ever the philosopher. Oh how can I debate your methods of peace since I'm just an alicorn out of time and was just stuck on the moon for a thousand years of nothing. I held courts of rocks and dust while I looked down and saw you build my dream. And yet every time we get invaded, I keep seeing ponies start losing faith in you and put their faith in somepony better than you."

Celestia stared into Luna's eyes, her voice like a dwarf star. Hot and biting, but lacking the warmth that her ponies knew. "I could do nothing against Tirek, and Discord is too random to beat in a battle of strength. I would have never hurt you. Is your little tantrums these last few months just because I lost during the Changeling Invasion? I could have used my full power. But you know what that entails, I'd be the avatar of the sun with all the pros and cons that come with it."

Luna rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes, the great and terrible Celly watching her loved ones all combust into cinders as their eyes boil from the heat and their blood turns to steam and skin cracks as the city melts away like runny lava down a slope. I've seen you bring the hammer down on Changelings and their like so I know you have no qualms on performing like one of our stature should. But no, now I see a dreamland populated by dreams about Twilight and her exploits with her friends while you wither away into the background. How do you even stand for that?"

Celestia cracked a broken smile. "Because I think she could do better than either of us. Sometimes the ways of intrigue and brute force do not work. And yet here's my former student reforming villains. A third option that in all our years, neither of us had tried."

Luna stamped a hoof. "I don't care about Twilight's skill at reforming villains. Her methods are interesting and her magic is revolutionary at times but Discord is still Discord. And yet here you are trying something terrible. You saw what Cadance did and want that. I see your dreams and your magical aura is eerily similar to Cadance's. Of course I'm worried about you. You've been training ponies as your students as a stand in for what you want." Luna sighed. "I may not like it, but I won't cause a fuss out in your day. And maybe I might like the family you create- one day. But now? No. I know you are head over hooves about Discord, I can see it in your dreams and your sickeningly sweet moments I'm awake. But I don't trust him, he's chaos incarnate and while I know you love finding a fixer upper stallion- he can't change. And yet here you are playing house while you know what he did while he ruled Equestria." Luna shook her head. "See you tomorrow, sister." Luna shot off into the sky leaving a trail of stars in her wake.

Celestia stood there for a moment and felt a hot tear run down her face. "I know you don't trust Discord, Lulu. But Twilight at least brought you back to me. And that's what counts." Celestia breathed in and tried to compose herself. She always wondered if Luna's transformation into Nightmare Moon wasn't partially related to fighting off Discord. Both had been only years apart. It was rather coincidental that she started learning dark magics right after that. Maybe he hadn't done what Luna believed he did. But it didn't really matter. Her corruption happened all the same. Celestia had tried to watch if Twilight had a similar reaction to Discord when the two had first met all those years ago. Just in case. She had then left the Elements with Twilight for months after Discord's reformation just in case he had lied about turning over a new leaf. For all Celestia had taught Twilight, she was too similar to her sister to keep the white alicorn at ease.

Twilight rolled out of bed, her dreams last night had been few and far between as her body seemed to reject any form of sleep. She had only been feeling the insomnia really hit these last few weeks and she wondered why. It definitely didn't help her mood any. She turned and blushed as she remembered last night's romp through the sheets. She turned away from Pinkie and his rising attention as she tried to think there wasn't something wrong with turning your friends into stallions the moment you two wanted to have fun. She didn't dare to ask Cadance about that issue. Last time she tried that, the pink alicorn had tried to definite what fetishes were and that was a terrible talk.

Pinkie rolled around and mumbled something in his sleep. His bubbly baritone causing Twilight some thoughts that she had to repress deep within herself to get past the one thing she wanted to do. Moondancer was the main issue and after yesterday- that was what she had to focus on.

Twilight stretched her wings and picked out the old feathers one by one. If she wanted to look like everything wasn't falling down around her, she had to fake it. She stopped once she felt a poke on her backside and turned to see Pinkie winking at her. Twilight rolled her eyes and continued.

"I'm honestly surprised you haven't really turned into a stallion yet. Twily. It's kind of fun. And anyway then you can do puns where you dick is the royal scepter. Think of all the possibilities of that coming up in a conversation."

Twilight turned crimson at the thought. "Pinkie, that's too. . ." Twilight paused, trying to come up with a good retort. "lewd for proper company. The aristocrats would have a fit if I stepped a bit out of place."

Pinkie rolled his eyes and began to tease Twilight in a mock imitation of her voice. "Pinkie, that's too much fun. The rich ponies all need to be gently coddled and kept in nice pens of boring rich pony stuff so they never realize how sad they are."

Twilight grinned. "I do not sound like that. And coddled? Where have you been learning that word?"

Pinkie stretched and laid back on the bed, lazily tracing figure eights in the sheets. "Well with how much time we spend together now, I have been picking up a few words of yours. Though we definitely haven't been spending our time learning words." Pinkie wiggled his eyebrows and giggled.

Twilight frowned and got off the bed.

Pinkie stopped laughing. "Did I say something wrong? Cause by how quiet you are. . .I probably said something wrong."

Twilight ruefully smiled. "It's nothing really."

Pinkie got off the bed, gingerly making sure his new accompaniments weren't in the way. "Twilight, when you say nothing's wrong, something is definitely wrong. It's like your thing." Pinkie edged up to Twilight and lay his head on her shoulder. "So tell your favorite pony what's your problem."

Twilight looked at Pinkie. "I didn't say you were my favorite pony, just one of my favorites."

Pinkie raised an eyebrow. "Sure you didn't say 'oh Celestia your dick is magical' yesterday.

Twilight sputtered. "I didn't. I mean I don't think I did." She looked at Pinkie's wide grin and rolled her eyes. "Fine. I'm just worried about us."

Pinkie cocked his head. "What?"

Twilight stared in the mirror and ran a hoof through her unkempt mane. "I mean all we do now is well. . .fool around. And everytime we do it now you're a stallion and we do it so much. . ."

Pinkie chuckled. "Twilight, for being super duper smart, you sure are dumb." Pinkie rubbed circles in Twilight's back. "I thought that this issue was already done and figured out. I don't care if I'm a mare or a stallion or if you find a way to make me a weird thing in between. I like fun, you tolerate fun, and that works."

"But like it's the only thing we've been doing together for months. Don't you want to like do anything else?"

Pinkie sighed. "Of course I do, Twilight, I don't just do parties all the time. I don't always want to have sex all the time. But your an alicorn and also, in Dashie's terms, a repressed nerd, so I get the hypersexual stuff. And anyway we don't always have fun the same way. I mean there was that time you turned me into a 30 foot tall stallion or when we played dress up."

Twilight frowned. "Don't remind me about that. I still have nightmares of you being stuck that way."

Pinkie booped the purple alicorn on the nose. "But I'm not and I'd say you're lucky you have me. Who else would keep up with your insatiable libido besides a strong earth pony." Pinkie stuck out his tongue and waggled his hips.

"Pinkie, it's not that bad."

Pinkie stretched. "Well it's fun. But Twilight, now I really want to see you as a stallion. Though now I wonder if ascension gave you a few extra inches or gave you a porn star physique."

"Pinkie!"

"What? You didn't figure out this spell before you were a princess. Sorry for me thinking that there has to be perks to being an alicorn besides being a mope sometimes." Pinkie rolled his eyes. "But your my mopey, worried princess and that's what we have to work with. Now let's get with the other girls before they try and walk in on us."

"That only happened once."

Pinkie put an arm around his purple marefriend and whispered in Twilight's ear. "Not from what Dash told me yesterday. She said you almost did it to her."

Twilight felt her cheeks redden as Pinkie walked away chuckling.

"Rarity, can you please be quiet?" Rainbow popped her head up from a bench as she tried to lazily sleep off her unbridled annoyance at the last few hours.

"But Rainbow I'm just saying that the two of them should have been here as Twilight said eight o clock sharp to head out. Not five minutes later than that. It's just unbecoming to have to wait for her to appear." Rarity tapped a hoof as she talked. "I mean honestly."

Applejack laid her face over her face and lay against a nearby pole. "She's a new princess. And don't Celestia and Luna show up anytime they right well please anyway? I bet it's one of them royal prerogatives to just come whenever they want."

"But Jackie, I had to pack all this stuff to even hope to come on a completely spur of the moment trip. It took me forever to decide on what outfits to bring." Rarity lay across her four different bags of stuff that she had behind her.

"Rarity, I know you didn't pack that." Fluttershy laughed as she lazed about in the sky, her blue wings drifting her around the meeting place.

Rarity was about to say something when Twilight and Pinkie popped into existence with a faint smell of ozone.

"Sorry girls, we didn't realize it had gotten so late." Twilight sheepishly grinned.

Rainbow glanced over and grinned. "Oh yeah I can see why." Rainbow eyed up Pinkie and demurely smiled.

Twilight glared at Rainbow. "Yes, well, it's not because of that. Now if we all got our little laughs about that out of the way, I hope we have an idea cause while I'd love riding the rails on a hoofcart, the sheer fact is that we just can't spend hours upon hours getting from here to Irondeer. That'd take days."

Pinkie raised his hoof.

"Yes Pinkie?"

"Can we do it anyway?"

Twilight rolled her eyes. "No, and no I won't turn myself into a stallion."

Rarity's eyes twinkled at the thought of seeing what Twilight would look like. "Now hold on a minute. I really like where this is going, Twilight. Can't you just. . .model for me. . .just a teeny tiny bit?"

Twilight breathed in and out. "No."

"You know Twi, that the train's running again or did ya forget to look around again?" Applejack smiled as Twilight quieted down.

Twilight tried to clear her throat. "Yes, well, I didn't really notice the train," Twilight looked around, "literally right behind us or expected it to be there. I guess that Luna did it." Twilight awkwardly laughed. "Which I totally planned for. Good job, Luna. Yeah."

Everypony rolled their eyes.

"Whatever floats your boat, darling." Rarity smiled demurely as she floated her luggage aboard the train. "Now Applejack, be careful on the landing here, I don't want you to fall and hurt something."

Moondancer breathed in and out, her lungs like liquid fire as she fell forward into the waking world. The world spun as she tried to find her footing as the world felt wrong somehow. The last thing she remembered was being in her shop. And then there was horrible, stabbing pain. And then here. She didn't even know what day it was and why her vision looked all blurry and weird.

A rustling noise from a nearby door drew her attention and she weakly walked towards it, the door plain and wooden denoting nothing but it's function. "Hello? Is anypony or anything there? I just woke up and I really have a bad headache and I don't know where I am. Is anypony there?" Moondancer beat on the door for a few moments until a latch was unlocked and a bright light bled through the tiny eyeslit that some pony looked through.

A monotone voice lazily responded back. "Good, I will go tell the leader that you have awoken." Moondancer heard the stamping of hooves on wood as the pony moved and it felt like ages until a sing song voice came back and the door was swung wide open.

Starlight walked confidently into the room, her presence itself drawing Moondancer's eye. "Sorry for Party Favor, he's just so good at his job that sometimes he has no bedside manners." Starlight smiled as she eyed the room. "Now our little utopia here doesn't usually have guests so I had the other scrounge around for anything they had. Is it to your liking?"

Moondancer looked around and noticed how barren the room was. A chair, a tiny table with some gray cloth on it, a bed that looked uncomfortable, and one tiny handheld mirror was all she had. Add the deadbolted door and uncertain location with unknown parameters on magic suppression and Moondancer didn't know exactly what to do but nod and be polite. "Well, I'm used to my own apartment and all that but this is. . .adequate." Moondancer attempted a smile. She never was good at smiles.

Starlight clapped her hooves together. "Good. I wouldn't want one of my guests to feel out of place. Now I have to warn you, the food choices here are rather one note so if you aren't used to nutritious gruel, corn, and potatoes and maybe for the more adventurous- even fish- I'd warn you about our natural diet. It's probably not like they have in Canterlot." Starlight waved a hoof as she talked. "It's just so nice out here, back in nature."

"Uh, yeah sure."

Starlight smacked her head. "Oh, I nearly forgot. There's one little issue I have to catch you up on. It's not that bad, but some ponies might be surprised at what you look like." Starlight floated over the mirror and gently head it in front of Moondancer's face.

"What are you-" Moondancer stopped as she looked at the reflection. "What in the holy name of Celestia happened to me?" She tentatively traced the gash where a ruby jewel sat in her flesh, the blackened tendrils snaking through her body like veins and she could see her coat turn splotchy where they touched- her coat more like a black spotted cream to her normal look. She noticed what looked like obsidian holding the jewel in place like a necklace and as she touched that spot, her head roiled in pain. It was like little needles stabbing into her brain directly and jumbling her thoughts. She blinked her eyes and tried to use her glasses, but after a few seconds of extremely blurry vision, she decided to toss those aside. She looked further up and saw that her horn was now a deep reddish black and she shivered as she reached out her aura and felt it. It felt tainted and full of dark magic, she felt both better than she had in years and yet terrified that she couldn't find where the end point of her magic was. It was like a bottomless abyss and she couldn't breathe.

Moondancer tried to count to ten and lost her train of thought as she felt a nagging, seething anger deep inside. "I- what happened to me?" She tried to compose her thoughts as well as she could, for even if this transformation probably wasn't complete, she still was currently Canterlot's premier archmage.

Starlight smiled. "Oh you know. The usual. See you were horribly impaled from your shop and I saved you."

Moondancer rubbed her head, the picture of what happened blurry and tinged with pain. "And?"

Starlight chuckled. "See, that's the funny part. I brought you back to life. Just found the Alicorn Amulet laying around and shoved it right up in your open heart cavity. Honestly you should be thanking me from saving you from death's door. Rather messy, but I did keep my promise to never kill anypony. And anyway that's your fault for leaving such an important artifact near where I could get it. It's like you don't expect ponies to come and filch your death lasers or something."

Moondancer rubbed her temple and felt her body seethe in passions she tried to keep hidden. "I was trying to sort the-" Moondancer's eyes bugged as the memories flooded back into her. "That was you. You blew up my shop."

Starlight waved a hoof. "That place was going to fall over anyway. And come on, you were going to live out your days like the hermit you were. I gave you something to aspire to. I mean sure 'possible crazy villain turn' probably wasn't in your plan, but it's better than being impaled by a pole." Starlight saw the unicorn's eyes flash blood red and she smiled. "Also I hope the ring suits you well. I really wanted to match your coat color. Hard to do now what with you looking like an inkblot test. But I'm ever the grateful host."

Moondancer glanced back and saw a small black and white banded ring that she had missed in her quick look at her new reality, situated right at the base of her horn. She knew of the design- a self locking and resizing ring to lock away any hope of escape. Moondancer broiled with liquid rage. She surmised it was the jewel's influence that her emotions were on such a hair trigger, or maybe she was just not used to being outside of her comfort zone. And being locked up and experimented on without her permission was on the short list of things she would murder somepony for. She would rip this bitch's head off- Moondancer shook her head. No, that wasn't what she needed to do. She needed to check if this Starlight was being truthful. Maybe the violent murder would come later. She filed that hope away into the 'never touch' compartment in her head and grit her teeth. She reached out for her magic, felt it's existence just outside of her grasp, and nothing. She tried again with the same results.

Starlight yawned. "Oh dear. You didn't think I'd come in and talk about resurrecting you with an artifact explicitly known to cause intense madness and full villainy without one of the Storm Empire anti magic rings? And then lie about it? What ever do you take me for? Bit of a hard bargain, that one. But I wanted to welcome you and guide you on my ever so special tour. Not murder me and ruin the surprise. Though I did have to say that there's one amiable unicorn in the Storm King's army and we get along like gangbusters. Oh but that's not related to you at all. Sorry."

"Are you going to kill me?" Moondancer was used to the idea that some day she was going to be murdered by something. It kept her focused at night to read the accounts of previous archmages summoning something or going too far in their research and dying horribly. She never expected this, even in her wildest dreams.

Starlight rolled her eyes. "Why does everypony say that? It can't be because I'm intimidating. I'm fucking pink for Celestia's sake, that's the least evil color of all. And I saved you. To great cost to myself since I don't like using a lot of my magic unnecessarily. You think bringing back somepony is easy? No, that's why it doesn't bloody well come up in the old tomes. The mages all were pussies and thought 'well look we can't bring ponies back from the dead, that'd be wrong.' No leaving you to die like a dog would have been even worse. You'd think I'd murder you after that?" Starlight chuckled as she thought of that. She clapped Moondancer on her back. "You're like the best experiment ever." The pink unicorn smiled. "Now come on, I don't want to keep my ponies waiting."

Moondancer felt a harsh tugging on her tail and she glided across the wooden floor as she was yanked out and led outside.

"Are you freaking serious?" Twilight stared at the map that she had brought from her room in Canterlot. "Irondeer isn't on the map I got. How is that even possible?"

Rarity rolled her eyes. "Darling, don't get into a tizzy. Maybe it's just that it's a small enough town that it doesn't exist in the map. It has to be in the related nearby town section." Rarity fanned herself with a scrap of paper from her bag since she had been caught unaware by a heat wave that made the white unicorn find herself sticky in very unladylike places.

Twilight huffed. "I checked. It's not there. And it should be because the map has the guard battalion location right there." The alicorn punctuated her annoyance with a purple hoof. "Fluttershy and Dash have both said it should be right there so unless there's some gross mismanagement in the transportation office, it's odd."

Rainbow chuckled and raised a yellow hoof. "Yeah, but like probably nopony cares about some small little town on a stupid map. Calm your tits. Can't we just find a ride there and be cool? Be far easier than you complaining about some stupid map."

Twilight facehoofed. "Fine we'll just take the thirty mile long hike and maybe get there by nightfall. Or if anypony has any other suggestions, I'd be open to anything."]

Pinkie raised his hoof.

"No, Pinkie, I'm not turning into a stallion."

Pinkie giggled. "Silly Twilight, I was going to point out that there's a giant cart right over there."

Twilight glanced over and noticed what Pinkie had been talking about . "How in the world didn't I notice that?" A large cart, big enough for everypony to fit snugly inside if some sat on Rarity's luggage, sat there. Twilight felt it quietly judging her as she reassessed the situation.

Pinkie slid on up to Twilight. "It's almost like reading a map doesn't make up for the memories you can make when you don't have it in front of your face. Also there's cart rentals. But my statement sounds way more magical than 'Silly Twilight, you have to get to the middle of nowhere somehow'." Pinkie rubbed his marefriend's head and winked. "But you know, you always put the horses before the carts."

Twilight cocked her head at the incorrect wording of philosophy that the pink stallion used. She blinked and just took it that Pinkie was just being Pinkie. "Fine. Okay, now who wants to pull the cart cause somepony has to do it."

Rarity shook her head furiously. "Oh heavens no, I'm already hoofing it as it is and I dare you to get me to pull a cart again. I still have nightmares about all the dust and dirt I had when I had those Diamond Dog couple of days. Also I say Applejack is out due to her situation."

Applejack rolled her eyes and shot a dirty look at Rarity. "Now who gave you the right to get me out of hard labor cause I'm in the family way, even barely as it is? And anyway my ma carried me while doing all her chores up til the day I was born so if that isn't good enough for our kid, I'd be surprised."

Rarity poked Applejack in the chest. "While I'd love to hear more of how you were once again about literally born in a barn, I just don't want to see you have issues and honestly blame me for worrying. I got you into this mess and I want to keep you at least okay through the rest of this. And I'll worry about your health every step of the way. And the one thing I learned from my mother is how to be a really overbearing pony."

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Fine, but we're totally going to talk about this, cause I love you but I also love doing hard work and doing something with my day besides wait around for months doing nothing."

Pinkie raised a hoof. "I'll do it, I mean thirty miles? I do that before breakfast, though Mrs. Cake usually calls that a sugar rush. Which must be why I'm so fast."

Twilight's eye twitched. "Pinkie, I- that's not how that works. But any other takers?"

Rainbow rolled her blue eyes. "I'm not. Even if I have Fluttershy's huge body, I'm still peeved at you. So that's a giant no for me."

Twilight looked at Pinkie's rising excitement and grimaced. "Fluttershy, please tell me you want to pull the cart."

Fluttershy twirled her hair awkwardly. "Um, if Rainbow said no, I really can't. No offense, but I'm currently way too small to pull that cart. Also you did punch me in the face so maybe later?"

Rainbow chuckled. "That's true." Then realizing what Fluttershy had said about her very own body, she stopped. "Hey wait, my body's not small."

Fluttershy stammered out a rebuttal. "No, it's not. It's just your fun sized usually and that cart is not fun sized."

Rainbow eyed Fluttershy. "I'm still not sure that if that was a backhoofed compliment about my size or if your trying to say I rock what I got."

Twilight felt her facial muscles droop as she looked at the unbridled excitement that Pinkie had. "Ugh, sometimes I wish that I had stayed in Canterlot and maybe I wouldn't be out here near Manehattan wondering where exactly my life went wrong."

Pinkie squeezed Twilight close rubbing his face against hers. "Of course you don't, Twily. Your life wouldn't nearly be as fun. And even though you hate to admit it, you do love fun. I can just feel the love of fun just pooling off of you."

Twilight huffed. "That's just sweat, Pinkie. And disappointment. Lots of disappointment."

The pink stallion broke the hug. "But, Twilight, you get hot from having fun, so by the process of party elimination, you love fun."

The purple alicorn facehoofed. "I know I've been teaching you logic problems to see how your Pinkie Sense works, but that's horribly faulty logic. Like it's terrible."

Pinkie walked up to the cart and placed the harness on himself and looked expectantly at Twilight. "Well, I get to the better answer through my method." Pinkie feigned hardship for a moment. He couldn't hide his teasing tone as his voice wavered in pitch as he talked. "Twilight, this cart sure is heavy and with everypony going to be on here, it's only going to get heavier. I sure need somepony my size and strength to help me push this heavy cart, it's almost like you need to turn into a stallion to help." Pinkie faked exhaustion as his whole body hung limp.

Twilight rolled her eyes. "You know I could totally just turn you back to normal and get on with our lives just as easily."

Pinkie opened one eye. "But Twilight, then this job would be twice as hard cause then I'll be smaller and have to pull a relatively larger amount of weight."

Twilight never liked arguing with Pinkie, it was like arguing with a pony that liked the little roundabout arguments and also ran on a logic system that only she knew. And Twilight cursed her past self's idea that teaching Pinkie Pie some things just so they could hold a conversation past 'You are hot' and 'Let's have sex' was a good idea. It was a good idea, but this was the result. Intellectual loggerheads with a pony that knew how to push her enough to get what she wanted.

And Twilight kind of loved it. Sometimes. But not in public. "Fine, but if this turns out to be a terrible idea, I blame you." Twilight felt the magic spell slide over her body and felt the changes commence. From a larger barrel to longer legs and the weird feeling of having your whole entire genital structure reformat itself into male analogues felt like she had butterflies in her stomach mixed with a sharp pop as the magic finished the more noticeable work. Twilight blinked, now nearly a foot and a half taller than before as he tested out the first steps the alicorn took as a male. "How do I look, gals?" Twilight noticed the male voice that the spell gave him was way higher in pitch than the rest of his friends- almost on the cusp of femininity. He stretched his limbs and noticed his wings felt huge as he felt them wrap around his body like a cloak while the alicorn's limbs felt awkward and lanky.

Pinkie cocked his head upwards. "Well I wasn't expecting that at all. Not that it's bad. Far, far, from it."

The girls stood there speechless.

Twilight felt a large blush on his cheeks. He had known that whatever this spell had done to the new him, it must be the worst thing imaginable ever. "Okay, I'm going to turn this spell off if nopony talks to me and explains what's got your tongues all in a knot."

Pinkie choked. "Phrasing, Twilight." Pinkie coughed and pointed lower towards where everypony was looking. "Or should I say your royal scepter is way more majestic than what I had hoped for. I guess alicorns have it where it counts." Pinkie snickered.

Twilight looked down. "Royal scepter? Oh come on." Twilight was met with a dick that was three and a half feet long and while Twilight usually knew actual dicks in books, looked five inches thick and had balls the size of melons. Twilight looked at Pinkie's eyebrows just doing a seductive wiggle and blushed heavily."Just know that I hate you all right now with the burning passion of a thousand suns." Twilight quickly took his place next to Pinkie. "And nopony get any ideas, this totally isn't my true form. Just some kink I have to work out cause it totally works weird on alicorns. Yeah."

Twilight felt the silence as the other girls got on. Pinkie quietly whispered something in Twilight's ear that nopony else heard as they started walking towards Ironhoof.

"You know, Twilight, you shouldn't be ashamed of your spell accentuating your alicorn gifts. If that is true. I'm really really stretchy. Though if you ever wanted to work out that spell's kink, you know where to find me." Pinkie Pie giggled as he bounced happily next to Twilight. Pinkie always knew how to get a rise out of Twilight and this time, literally.

Twilight cursed his luck. He liked his friends but the alicorn was still not entirely used to how unlucky he tended to be with his spells. He mentally noted to get back at Pinkie later, even if it tended towards what the pink pony called 'fun' instead of a Dash prank. He was never good with pranking others, so blasting all of them with magic was not worth it. Also with how powerful his magic was now, he wondered if blasting somepony with magic for a prank wasn't a criminal act.

Moondancer rolled her eyes as she imagined every possible way to blast this town to smithereens as the few hours of joyful depression that this town peddled was paraded around like a parody of life. Especially their fantastic leader who had been singing some song about how her town was the best town ever. Moondancer shook her head, noticing how little the ponies were. Their ribs stood out in relief as she could see their bodies shrink away in fear as their smiles belied another emotion.

And Starlight either didn't care, didn't notice, or even worse, might relish in the fact that she could walk around openly and spread fear in these ponies.

Starlight stopped her humming as she walked up to the one place that had any ponies around it. Tired ponies gave her a wide berth as she stepped into the least impressive bakery Moondancer had ever seen. A cake that looked made out of chalky fondant sat there and as she looked, she noticed it moving. The splotchy unicorn looked away as she wondered what horrible bakery would allow that to be on display.

A grayish unicorn stepped out and bowed. "I'm glad to see you again, Starlight."

Starlight smiled and bowed as well. "Well, you did just see me recently, Sugar Belle. Now I really do hope you feel better after out re-education session that I had you go through."

Sugar Belle laughed, but as she turned back to the counter, Moondancer could see large gashes and welts that were still healing in blue black blots. The unicorn's smile reached her cold, lifeless eyes as her laugh rang out hollow. "Oh, you know how into re-education I am, I sure love learning how this is true freedom from cutie marks." Sugar Belle flashed her cutie marks, which Moondancer had seen on every other pony. A dull grey equal sign.

Starlight placed a hoof on the counter and smiled. "That's wonderful." Then as quickly as she had placed that overly cheerful voice on, her voice took a darker tone and her eyes focused on the unicorn. "Now I heard something from Double Diamond that our food is disappearing into thin air. Now, I really don't want to blame you, since you are one of my best subjects here. . .but have you heard anything about that. I mean I put you on food detail for a reason. And yet, even months later, there's still food going somewhere."

Moondancer saw the sweat drip down the smiling face of the unicorn. "No, I haven't."

Starlight arched her back and flipped back into the sickeningly sweet voice again. "That's good. Now remember your education and tell everypony to never steal food from others because then they'd be a bad pony and also hurting the productivity of others. Oh and say hello to Moondancer, she's the newest pony of our little community here."

Sugar Belle smiled. "Oh that's great. Can I teach her how to bake our freedom cakes? Please? I swear I won't use more than the recommended amount of food." Sugar Belle groveled at Starlight's feet.

Starlight glanced over to Moondancer and shrugged. "Well she already has a full schedule with the others, but I bet if you be a good pony and wish really hard, I bet she might. Now go have the recommended relaxation time, you earned it."

Starlight led Moondancer out and as Moondancer looked back, she saw Sugar Belle quietly sobbing in the corner and trying to knock her head against the wall, each time getting close enough to touch it, but unable to hurt herself. Over and over again in quick, jerking movements she pulled her head back and attempted to slam it into the wall as fast as she could. But her head jerked to a stop each and every time.

Starlight glanced back and rolled her eyes. "Still trying to get the kinks out of the whole cutie mark spell I'm using. Hard to keep everypony alive and well when they keep attempting suicide." Starlight shook her head. "But that's what happens when you test spells on ponies all willy nilly, as a friend would say, it can get rather messy. It's okay though, I found a work around. I just modified their self preservation drive so they would stop right before they did it. Not to toot my own horn, but it was just a stroke of absolute genius."

Moondancer gritted her teeth as she could feel the corrupting influence of the jewel almost sing at the thought. She tried to think what Twilight would do in this situation. "So what do you want me to do about it? Give you a pat on the back for ruining their free will or something?"

Starlight facehoofed. "I didn't take away their free will, I just gave them a reason to live again. And come on I saw how great Canterlot was for the common pony. Celestia's great. I do have to applaud her for building a society around individuality and all. Everypony's special and let's spread the message of friendship around the world like the good ponies we are. Newsflash, the rest of the world can be a shitty place, but at least other creatures know what friendship is."

Moondancer rubbed her head. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Starlight stopped. "Nothing. Just me being moody." Moondancer saw red lightning dance across Starlight's fur. "Remembering the past. Now do you want lunch cause I'm just famished." Starlight tittered out a nervous laugh.

"Are we there yet?"

Twilight wiped his brow. "No, Pinkie, you can obviously see that we aren't."

Pinkie groaned. "Okay, but I'm going to keep my eye on that horizon so it won't pop up and surprise me."

Rarity lifted a bottle of water she had packed in her luggage and wiped her brow. "Well, I hope we'll get there soon, because I'm getting positively icky." She wiped her face and frowned as black mascara came back on her hoof. "Thank goodness I brought spares of my makeup kit just so the horror of me going into a new town without putting the best hoof forward can be averted."

Applejack lifted her hat and looked at Rarity. "I've seen you without makeup and you still look fine to me."

Rarity smiled. "Well thank you for the compliment, but those were private moments and what a lady does in her private moments without expecting a business offer is completely up to her. And honestly, I just don't feel myself without at least a layer of self confidence applied directly to my face."

Rainbow giggled. "Phrasing."

Rarity shot a look at Rainbow. "Quite crass of you, Rainbow. But I guess that would be the charm of you."

Fluttershy popped her head out of Rainbow's lap. "Be nice, Rarity."

The white unicorn feigned outrage. "Well she's the one who hinted at me doing something naughty."

Rainbow stuck out her tongue. "No I didn't. I just said 'phrasing' which says that somepony might see something sexual there. I didn't say you did anything. But if you're going to spill the beans, I'm all ears. And anyway Rarity, we do all have sex."

Rarity's face contorted in anger. "Twilight. When are we going to get off this cart?"

Twilight rolled his eyes. "Rarity, I can handle one pony asking that question. Not two. But if you're asking. Soon and no we aren't there yet."

Rarity crossed her forehooves and looked out on the way they came, the gently sloping hills near Manehattan had turned into steeper hints at mountains as the way narrowed into one wooded path. "This is why I never go out into nature. Too hot, too remote, and nothing to do." Rarity tapped a hoof on the bottom of the cart.

Pinkie chirped up a response immediately. "We could totally play 'I Spy' cause that usually got me through Pie family trips. Oh let me start. Uh, let's see." Pinkie looked around quickly. "I Spy with my Pinkie eye, something that is large."

Twilight rolled his eyes. "Pinkie, don't."

Pinkie giggled. "Score one wrong answer for Twilight. It is not your dick. I have more depth than just wanting that. Like cakes and being good with kids, and also being the best party planner ever. Also being a decent sister or brother, if the case permits. And maybe knowing my way around a dick or two, but that's neither here nor the answer." Pinkie winked.

Fluttershy swept her multicolored mane out of her face. "Well, then it has to be trees. Cause the Manehattan spruce can be up to two hundred feet tall and that has to be large enough for you."

Pinkie looked up to the canopy of trees above them and whistled. "That's one large tree, but even Fluttershy's weird obsession with trees has brought zero correct-a-mundo answers in this search for big stuff." Pinkie's voice echoed as he got into his little game.

Rarity moaned. "Fine, it's the sun. It's huge and making me die."

Pinkie shook his head. "Silly, Rarity. Usually when you ask for I Spy answers, you want things near you. The sun is super far away from us and if it was really close we'd all die. Creative answer, but no. But seriously, I wish Celestia would learn how to keep the heat away from us."

Rainbow thought for a moment. "Well then if it has to be really close to us, it's the cart. Cause it's big and wooden."

Pinkie grinned. "Oh you're so close. Getting warmer and all but no. I definitely wouldn't have said a big, wooden cart. I wasn't the two time champion of Pie Family I Spy for nothing."

Applejack leaned back and stared at Pinkie. "It's friendship. Cause you'd be sappy enough to talk about how far we come as friends and all."

Pinkie held back his tears with short sniffles. "That's. So touching. But also. Wrong!" Pinkie wiped his eyes and bounced along waiting for the question to be asked.

Every pony yelled out the same question. "What is it then?'

Pinkie bounced along with renewed glee. "It's the journey. Cause are we there yet?"

Twilight's color drained out of his face as he realized the joke. "Were you seriously trying to have us spend all that time figuring out that just so you could ask that question?"

Pinkie wiggled his eyebrows. "I saw my chance and knew that you were testy with testosterone so roundabout question it was."

Fluttershy piped up. "So Pinkie, who was it that won all your Pie Family contests? I thought you briefly mentioned you only won it twice."

Pinkie's voice grew quiet. "It was my sister, Marble. She's the real conversationalist in our family." Pinkie shivered. "The few times I won I had to cheat to get past her powers of observation. I knew if I didn't say exactly what I chose as the correct answer and let her move on without grilling me about it, I could eke out a win."

Twilight rolled his eyes. "That sure sounds like the most intense game of I Spy I've ever heard of."

Pinkie Pie stared at Twilight. "When you live on a rock farm without anything to do but stare at rocks and play games, games become serious business." Pinkie's mood brightened back to normal. "Which now come to think of it must be why I'm so good at organizing parties."

Twilight just nodded, quietly thinking that maybe Pinkie was just too. . .Pinkie to understand fully.

Moondancer pushed her food around as she felt nervous. She glanced at her arm and noticed that it was becoming harder and harder to find her original creamy coat that she had gotten used to. Now it was just inky black with barely a hint of white. And that was just after hours of being awake, which worried her especially. There wasn't a tome of how to reverse corruptive influences and if there was, she doubted there could be one called 'What to do if you have evil gems in your chest: a handy guide'. Moondancer laughed quietly in her head as she pushed the potatoes and gruel around. There had to be something she could laugh about or else the reality of her situation would be too sad.

"I'm guessing you don't like the food." Starlight smiled as she waved her fork around.

"No, I'm just trying to figure out what's your plan here?" Moondancer took a bite of her gruel and barely was able to swallow the horrible tasting slop.

"If you're talking about you. . .well all I want to know is where I could find my friend Sunburst. Bringing you back to life all evil was an unfortunate circumstance."

Moondancer laughed openly. "You know you could have just walked up into Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns and asked about him, right? He's a public servant and it's public record. Where have you been that attacking a major town and enslaving others is easier than just talking to ponies?"

Starlight glared and Moondancer could felt her breath grow short as mounting pressure closed around her neck. "That's rich coming from you. But if you want to know where I've been for nearly a decade and a half, I've been out there." Starlight motioned around. "And you may call me insane and a bit off kilter, but I've seen things you wouldn't believe. And I know for a fact that ponies don't need a cutie mark to survive out in the wild world of everywhere else."

Moondancer choked out a groan. "Yeah, right. And I'm the pony boning a princess."

Starlight cocked her head and let go. "Odd choice of words, but I swear that I've seen ponies like that. Not what you describe, definitely not. Markless ponies? Sure. You've probably heard of the Storm Empire, yes?"

Moondancer rubbed her neck. "Of course, who hasn't heard of the worst place to live in the world. Heard the dungeons are prime real estate."

"Very funny. But I'd bet the general in charge of the Storm King's armies would torture you to the brink of death before she'd laugh." Starlight lazily looked at her hooves to check for dirt.

"And why's that? She live in the swankiest dungeon ever?" Moondancer rolled her eyes.

"She's a pony without a cutie mark. And there's enclaves of ponies without them all over the place out there. I'm doing this just to see if there's a way to give ponies free will outside of some scam that doesn't need to exist." Starlight's horn glowed red with anger.

Moondancer pushed aside her plate and laid her head down on the table, the wood still warm and comforting. "So what if your conspiracy theory is true? It's still more preferable than whatever you're peddling that makes ponies actively try and kill themselves or break down. I mean if Celestia pulled your kind of attempt here, the nation would be dead in a month."

Starlight opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a harsh banging on the door. Starlight yelled."Yes, what is it?"

A tired looking pegasus stumbled into the room. "You wanted me to warn you before ponies from the outside came. I did what you asked. I did." Night Glider breathed in deep and rolled onto her side, letting Moondancer notice the patter of welts that she had as well. "Did I do good? Please don't send me to the mines, I'll be good. I'll be good." Night Glider groverd at her hooves, grinding herself against Starlight.

Starlight got up and stretched her whole body. "Yes. You did good. And tell Butterscotch or whoever's in the depths to prepare to release the hounds at my signal. Maybe these ponies just want to say hello and thank me for Canterlot." Starlight edged up to Moondancer and whispered into her ear. "Though I bet seeing you, they might just blast you off to the sun or moon and leave you there. I mean I have read my history and it seems like some princesses just love locking away their failures. I do that too, but at least I try to find use for them before that point. Oh no the trustworthy mage turns to darkness, which legend was that again?"

Twilight released the spell as they reached the outskirts of Ironhoof. While she grew sort of used to the new height and all, the cons vastly outweighed the pros. And she didn't need more jokes from ponies to feel self conscious about her body. The town was absolutely silent and outside of a few flashes of movements that Twilight swore she saw from the corners of her eyes.

"Girls, be ready for a trap."

Rainbow swept her pink hair out of her face. "You know, after the third or fourth time we've fought bad dudes, I'm actually expecting a trap."

Twilight heard a song echoing through the town, joyous and happy tones just hanging in the air.

Pinkie crept closer to the group. "I usually like singing, but that feels really wrong."

The stomping of hooves could be heard throughout the town as two figures walked out to greet them.

Fluttershy quickly hid behind Rainbow Dash as she tried to use her new found size as a shield against the chance that a very familiar pony might see her. Dash wanted to do the same thing as ponies poured out of each house. She had a quick memory pop up of being young and seeing her first clown cart- the ponies just pouring out of places that seemed too small to contain them.

Starlight raised a hoof and the town became silent again. "Why, hello again. Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity. I do hope your trek all they way here from the big city treated you well. Though I thought my spell would have worked a little bit longer than that. It feels like I just got back. I mean honestly, I poured a lot of myself into that spell so it lasting a day or two at most is highly disappointing."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "Starlight, as a princess, I have-"

Starlight turned. "No business speaking? I actually don't know you. So unlike your little friends who are far more interesting than you, I don't really care. Probably you're going to say something about how I'm evil and all, but I don't deal in moral absolutism. I mean unlike you, I've done something here. I've brought ponies happiness. My methods are crude, but don't they all look positively happy? Smile, everypony." Every pony surrounding them smiled as wide as they could.

Twilight blinked before continuing, the sheer fact was that those smiles reminded her of how she knew predators looked before circling in for the kill. "Yes, well we can debate that later after you have turned yourself in for crimes against the populace of Equestria and kidnapping one Moondancer, current archmage of Canterlot. And my first friend."

Starlight scratched her head. "Well this is just horribly awkward. Let me see? Moondancer? Where exactly did I put her? I definitely don't know-" Starlight whistled as she cast her aura around Moondancer's hoof. "Oh here she is." She waved it around wildly. "Though I guess the whole surprise is ruined when you can't realize your first friend is right here. Though is that the fault of the magic or are you saying stuff you don't really mean?"

Rarity whispered to Applejack. "I thought that Sombra came back. That can't be who we're looking for right?"

Twilight cocked her head. "That can't be Moondancer. First of all, where would she have the-" Twilight's eyes slid down the inky black body and fixed on the jewel. She knew that one well after Trixie tried taking over Ponyville. "Oh Celestia. what exactly happened to you?"

Moondancer felt burning tears down her face as she tried to talk. She had been practicing this moment for years, but the words just did not come out right. "Hey, Twilight, I guess you got wings a while ago. Um, things sure do happen fast like that. One moment you're a unicorn and then poof?"

Starlight clapped her hooves. "Oh I just love a good reunion. Though I'm sorry for cutting it short as I am a busy mare and I have better things to do. Lemon ripple ice cream sure sounds nice today."

Pinkie cocked his head. "Now what is that supposed to mean?"

Starlight teleported her and Moondancer out of the street and cupped her hooves together. "I called the guard company."

Pinkie shook as his Pinkie Sense ran full force through his whole body. He quaked all over as his body exploded into mini twitches. "Oh crud. Oh this is really, really bad."

A baying noise kicked up as large dark shapes galloped out of the hills. Each thing looked larger than a pony and faster than they looked. They growled and snarled as they bounded through town, not caring about any ponies in their way.

Twilight smiled. "Hey Starlight, I think you forgot one thing. I'm an alicorn and while these things look tough, I bet we can take them."

Starlight sat back on a bench and wrapped a hoof around Moondancer. "Oh I bet this right hoof you won't."

Twilight frowned, and channeled her magic to a rudimentary beam. She felt the magic come into her in one deep breath and as she aimed for the large monkey like creature, she breathed out and for a moment there was blinding light as a pinprick beam arced through the square leaving a trail of ozone in its wake. Twilight opened her eyes.

And saw the creatures still barreling down the street, without a scratch.

Twilight shook her head. That should have worked and without a doubt it had. She channeled the magic, it shouldn't be possible to just walk away from a blast like that.

Twilight dug down deep and tried to remember lessons that Luna taught her. Quickly bending the air around her, she breathed in and out focusing the air on one tiny little point. If beams didn't work, maybe a blade would. Folding air upon itself over and over in seconds wasn't something most mages had to do. She kept putting in her magic until it was densely packed and should take out most sizable threats.

Most mages weren't Twilight Sparkle or had lessons from Luna.

Starlight bet forward to watch the display, mildly curious if Tempest Shadow's reserve troops would come out of it alive. If not, then she wouldn't have to feed them again. If so, then the armor they wore really did work. Either way, Starlight won.

She aimed the shimmering air at the nearest one, only now a few dozen yards away as she breathed out. It zipped across the dirt, leaving a deep gash where it passed over and Twilight saw it hit the creature straight in the chest. Silently cheering she began to cast the spell again, until she saw the shimmering air bend around the creature and dissipate into silent, sparkling rain.

Starlight clapped. "Bravo. That was better than I expected. Now I definitely have to remember your name. Twilight, I have one question, can alicorns heal themselves on the brink of death? I really want to test that experiment, though honestly can you blame me for curiosity's sake?" Starlight whistled to the Storm Beasts. "Hounds, please leave her and her friends alive. But leave her just barely."

Twilight's concentration broke and as she turned, everything slowed down. "What are you-" She felt the first punch connect with her left wing, fracturing the entire structure as she heard it pop like glass. The next hit hit her right in the chest, knocking out her air with a loud whuff. The third and fourth blurred together as she felt her jaw dislocate the same moment as she was picked up and driven directly into the ground again and again. She could felt her ribs breaking, each bone stabbing into her and making her grit her teeth in agony. Twilight could only hear her world in muffled sounds as she noticed Moondancer sobbing and she heard other ponies cry in muffled sobs. Was Pinkie okay? Were the others okay? That was what truly mattered, not her body.

Twilight choked out a sentence before her body blacked out. "I'm okay."

Starlight cupped her hooves. "Anypony else want to show off?" She leaned her head in to listen for a few seconds, only to hear silence. "Okay, no takers?" Starlight whistled her way down the steps. "Hounds, listen closely, the pegasi come with me. The rest go in the mines. Okay?" Starlight gingerly stepped over Twilight and grimaced. "Oof, I sure hope you heal right. And just to think, I might have not called these big thugs if you just didn't interrupt me. I mean I might have anyway, but we were just getting along so well. Though honestly all you had to do was not follow me and we'd all be living in peace. I'd have gotten what I wanted all for the price of one unicorn. Was that too much to ask?"

A Storm Beast picked up Twilight and slung her roughly over its back as other rounded up the other ponies. Pinkie was glaring daggers as her looked ahead, his body and hair limp as he stared back at Starlight. Rarity and Applejack huddled close together as they were pressed forward towards the Crystal Mountains that the town sat next to.

Starlight smiled up at the sky as she looked at a passing cloud. "Oh and welcome to Utopia, everypony. The happiest little town in all of Equestria. Now I hope you enjoy your stay."