Luna Drops the Soap, Then the Hammer
Dan's Comments
DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc.

As predicted, she'd tracked him down and surveyed the 'Rommel's asparagus', redoubts, and various warning signs that notified of minefields, financial audits, and disgronified insegrevious fields. The one gate that seemed both weakly guarded and isolated, unfortunately drew her attention. The small podium had a tea cup full of delicious smelling tea on it. Hidden behind a thick layer of glass was a cardboard box labeled in all sides 'emergency use only'. On closer examination the tea cup read 'to open' around the rim. She drank the tea and proceeded to the door.

What descended on her was worse than Nightmare. She saw how small and insignificant she was to the greater universe beyond. And how small and even trivial that universe was in the ebb and flow of universes birthing, aging, and dying to be reborn across the vast multiverse. She fully understood she would never be as beloved and respected as her sister. Not now, not ever, even when the mere thousand years was an eyeblink of a difference, she would be the inferior. In fact it was doubtful she would escape the shadows of Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadence. She comprehended that she would outlive all her friends, any suitors, and even the planet of Equestria, dying old when this universe itself died and was reborn. She understood that her achievements were a mockery of the power and ability she had been given unearned and undeserving, that all she had accomplished was an anthill compared to the towering mountain that she could have. She understood she had never been truly good, and even as Nightmare, truly evil. She had been a tepid, insipid dilettante at both, without the confidence to truly embrace either end of the spectrum, too dependent on appearing to be one or the other to truly embrace being one or the other. She also realized that this was an emergency.

As she walked, she was aware that every displaced stone and current of air had the faintest chance to prevent the rise of a great artist who would exalt the pony condition to heights undreamed of, and that those same displacements could unleash a monster of a pony beyond what would curdle Sombra's darkened soul. That with every breath a bacterium that had survived from the dawn of its species could be snuffed out in her body's defenses. She realized that every moment she dallied here, she was abandoning her ponies to the cruel agents of a heartless monster.

The glass shattered, leaving thousands of shards that could cut an unsuspecting pony to the quick, that the effort of the one who've poured and tempered it with his own sweat perhaps, had been undone by her selfish need. The cardboard was discarded, it fell to crush an insect or tiny sentient exploring from another realm, the loss of a race of friends and allies who would never know the fate of the lost one and would pine away awaiting his return, never risking to investigate.

The taste of peppermint schnapps and butterscotch rum jolted her thoughts out of the death spiral they'd been descending into, and the 3 quarts of alcohol in her empty stomach hit like a thunderbolt. She received one more revelation before she vomited it all up, and the alcohol scourged clean the less voluminous forces of the tea. 'I really should leave.'

She was at the tail end of the dry heaves when she left his dreamspace and he noted she'd completely missed the sign reading 'Tradesmen use the Servants entrance', and investigating it. He knew the tea there was far less entertaining and dangerous.

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Luna returned to the walking world, braced herself for a hangover of epic proportions, and was relieved that none came. The less said about the lingering aftertaste of peppermint schnapps mixed with butterscotch rum, the better. A small price to pay, she thought then shuddered at the revelations she'd been `granted` on drinking that tea, They are all true, but I think I'd rather not know them.

That revelation hit her like a thunderbolt. That's what he meant by pain causing growth, she thought and grinned, That is an evil that I think could be acceptable. If not to Celestia, then Twilight and Cadence should be agreeable, and even if I am overshadowed by all the others I think those two still see me as senior, and Celestia will listen to the three of us.

Her thoughts resolved, she headed for the Day Court, accelerating to a dead run at the sound of combat. Or more accurately, the sound of the guards in armor bouncing off the walls. The sight of Blueblood battered, bruised and bloody would normally be a daydream she could never have, but when the Prince stood at the locked doors to the court, as a bulwark between his beloved Auntie and another of these foul imposters Schadenfreude could not take hold.

The Prince proved his lineage and his diploma from the School for Gifted Unicorns, by weathering another blast from the sleek, blue-and-white, incredibly handsome, incredibly masculine, and incredibly DEAD for messing with her mind alicorn stallion.

"Celestia shall be my waifu!" he shouted.

Luna considered it an act worthy of Nightmare Moon, but she could easily justify it as defending her sister, their subjects and their kingdom. She duplicated the enchantment of the tea, and cast it on the alicorn.

After several minutes of the most ungodly, horrific whimpering, enough guards had returned to consciousness to take the wretched creature to the dismissal chamber. She actually expected Blueblood to challenge for the crown of 'Most Despised and Pathetic', but he'd taken the easy way out: as soon as the alicorn was neutralized, he'd fainted. More charitably, he'd passed out from shock and exhaustion. She ordered all the wounded taken to the infirmary before neutralizing the spells holding the doors closed. "I am Diarch of Equestria, I bid you open!"

"Sister," Luna said as she entered the court itself, glancing at the huddled masses of the nobles, marked who had armed themselves to defend and who merely cowered. Most she had predicted, but there were anomalies in both camps, that on any other day would have stunned her.

But today is a very different day, she thought as she approached their thrones.

She carefully approached a rather shell-shocked Celestia and explained, "I may have found the source of these villains. And an ally against that source." She nuzzled Celestia, and the answering forelegs and wings' glomp disconcerted her.

"They're in my bedchamber now," Celestia said.

Any guilt Luna felt at the tea spell burned away like a snowflake on the sun.

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Twilight felt more free and clear of thought than she ever had before. The occasional invasions of Ponyville had been irritating. The attack on Celestia by these invaders had her through angry, furious and insane, and out the other side where thoughts ran like crystal springs and limitations were for other ponies. She was glad that Luna and Cadence were taking the lead on this. She knew what she came up with would be brilliant, simple and effective. It would also get her a free trip to the statue garden when both she and Celestia returned to their senses.

"The Elf-Queen has no doubt sent these bronies out to attack the Bearers and now Celestia," Luna said.

"If this new friend of yours can be trusted," Cadence pointed out.

"It's an odd thing," Luna admitted, "In a casual conversation, I believe that you would be best discounting anything he said, until you verified it, even the sky being blue, but on this I think he was completely accurate."

"He still sounds like an evil force," Celestia said.

It pained Twilight that her mentor seemed so nervous about things. Celestia had always been her rock, now she seemed so uncertain, and frightened. More like a filly on her first ice skates that the mare she is, Twilight thought.

"He would agree completely," Luna replied, "Even congratulate you on your perspicacity, but at the same time, I think he can be trusted in this. If he swept into your bedchamber, he'd likely put on dab of white paint on the wall and tell you that it would eventually drive you mad searching for it to correct it. When the brush was dry the entire time."

Cadence snickered. "I'll take that kind of evil over who we've faced over the past months. I also suspect that the dragon that pony reported seeing at the death of Tirek was our friend," Cadence said, "So he's already done two good turns for Equestria. Small price to pay for a jack-in-the-box who might turn up shouting 'Boo'." She glanced at Celestia. "Somehow, I doubt he'd consider scaring you 'sporting' in your current state. Although he might coil around your bed and explain he was awaiting lunch delivery."

"Very apropos," Luna said.

"So if he's going to deal with the Elf-Queen, and he seems to have given you the upperhoof in dealing with the dream invaders," Twilight said, "What are we here to discuss and plan for?"

"That these invaders are getting more aggressive." Luna couldn't have picked a better phrase to snap Twilight out of her mental state. She instantly understood all that implied, and that she and her friends were all in danger.

"They'd come after . . . us, the same way?" she asked, instantly understanding Celestia's nervousness.

"Likely. There are defenses, our artisans are placing them in my and Celestia's bedchambers, and a team has been dispatched to Ponyville to determine which of your homes can be so fortified," Luna said, "Without her agents spying on the dreams of ponies, it is unlikely they could be as precise as the recent arrival was. But if we haven't found all of them, they could be funneling the Queen new information."

"That black alicorn who ran away," Twilight said.

"Unusual that," Luna said, "But less of a problem I think, they are never so indirect nor are they concerned about the opinions and desires of others. I will inform our friend, and see what can be done."

"If he's well enough behaved to not want a confrontation," Cadence said, "Maybe we should leave him alone. He's the only one who we've had to set up a dragnet for."

"So you'd ensnare him in a dragon-net?" Luna asked, eliciting a faint smile from Celestia, "There is the possibility that one of these 'bronies' actually believes 'love and Harmony' have nonphysical components."

"You mean he's the only one not acting like a filly in her first heat," Cadence said, "Fortunately, there've been none in the Crystal Empire, or Shining has dealt with them so quickly, I never heard about it."

"They aren't exactly subtle," Twilight said, grimacing about her encounters.

"Could that alicorn have been a changeling?" Celestia said, "Trying out something new?"

"That would explain why he ran away, but not how he outflew Rainbow Dash," Twilight said, "Not only speed, but altitude."

"The real problem remains: the Elf-Queen sending these creatures. To wit: what was she offering them? If not for their inexperience using their powers, we would have been overwhelmed time and time again," Luna told them.

"What could she possibly be using to power such mighty transformations?" Celestia asked, slowly drawing out of her shell, "If my dreams are any indication, she is not that formidable personally."

Twilight cleared her throat. "Since these 'bronies' don't dream, that may be what's powering them, their ability to dream, and their belief in themselves and the strength of their desires."

"They are so strong because they think we are less real?" Celestia asked, she looked over at Luna, "That may explain your ally. As dark as he proudly is, he may believe in friendship as powerfully as we do." She nuzzled Luna. "I trust my sister. Do what you need do. If it protects our ponies, I will learn to live with it."

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Sergeant Posey Blossom of the Los Pegasus Police and Guard felt she was walking on a cloud. The only dark part that promised a silver lining was her coltfriend had been abused and lied to so horribly. She knew mares who played such games with a string of stallions who never could be more than beasts of burden for them, or emotional dumping grounds for the travails of the day. She'd despised such mares. The irony of being an 'honorary stallion' among the police was she could see their troubles, revealed only over a cup of cider among other stallions, then laughed off as his problem with some advice and gentle ribbing. It came as no shock that some of that advice was bubbling through her mind now. How to approach a stallion who had been treated that way, letting him know how interested she was, without scaring him the other way.

That she spotted him surrounded by a few other police mares gave Posey some worries. Then she overheard the conversation. "Agamid Don, we need more than that."

"Yes, I never got his name, but you all frequented his shop," Don told them, "He must have given you some clues about where he might have to run off to. I can run the shop, but it really isn't mine."

Posey relaxed as she realized they were here as part of a missing persons investigation. "His name was Recurring Snow," she said, "And he had a mountain with layered snowlines as his cutie mark."

She looked over at Agamid's flank, and frowned. He looked over and frowned. "It's a dog's nose, my sense of smell is particularly acute. Of course it's all in black, so it's impossible to see normally."

"How does that segueway into a baker?" Lt. Rosethorn asked, "And how does that do with your name?"

"I cook by smell rather than taste," he explained, "As for the name, dragons have the best sense of smell of the various races, and mine is even more 'educated' than that. I'm just glad my parents didn't name me Turkey Vulture, or Bloodhound."

That got them all laughing. Rosethorn collected the others with a glance. "We have enough to start looking. I just hope he didn't run into that Tirek creep." She gave Posey a saucy wink and a quick flip of her tail that had Posey blushing furiously.

At remembering their encounter with Tirek, Posey and Don both cringed and watched the others go. He very ostensibly sniffed her. "You missed me," he replied.

She blushed right down to her fetlocks.

He stared at her, then covered his mouth. "Fancy shampoo," he exclaimed.

She relaxed, and reminded herself how cute he looked when he was embarrassed. She kissed his muzzle and smiled. "Maybe you can sniff out a good restaurant."

He glanced at the watch on his foreleg. "Well, I go for the food, not the fanciness, so if you don't mind a good hole-in-the-wall, I'm your stallion," Don said.

You certainly are, she thought as she nodded and followed him. She remembered that despite how cute and fluffy he looked, there was a body beneath that fluff that would put most guards to shame. She nearly facehoofed as she realized that he moved heavy objects all the time, so being built like a mountain hoss was perfectly reasonable.