The rest of the first day in the forest was poison joke free. It was growing darker, not just with the passage of the day, but also the density of the canopy overhead. We were fully in the hold of the forest.

Work had taken over the wagon after lunch, and I moved to walk alongside him. "Work, do you know what this forest is like by chance?"

He cleared his throat softly. "I am, primarily, a Canterlot pony, but I have heard a few things. This is a wild place, infested with terrible beasts. Ponies proceed in great numbers, which scares many of them away and allows for safe passage."

I glanced around at my 'adventuring party' as it was. "Do we qualify as a 'great number'?" The trail didn't seem large enough to accomodate too many more people at once, though they could stretch backwards if they needed.

Easy shook her head. "I saw the caravans, they were usually bigger."

That wasn't comforting, but I kept putting one foot in front of the other. What was the other option, run back, through the poison joke, and abort the mission? Even if I tried that, it would be dark long before I made it back out. I'd just face the danger tired. "Any of you know any defensive or offensive spells?"

"I can't say I do," easily admitted Work Pants.

Water shook her head quickly. "I know a few spells for cleaning and tidying, sir. That is why we're not walking along with our fur coated in anti-spore cream."

I still had that stuff on my face and arms. I had managed to not even notice that they didn't have the gunk on them. "And you didn't use it on me?"

Easy snickered softly. "You didn't let her put it on, so she probably assumed. Anyhey, I know a few spells." She raised a hoof, her horn glowing and the hoof crackling with fits of electricity. "They're meant to entertain, but if you use them right, or wrong depending on how you look at it, it's better than nothing."

Water's horn glowed with far less electricity involved. She was whisking away the gunk. I could feel the magic peeling it away like a perfect scraper, leaving my skin clear. She worked over my face, then my arms, tossing the spent gunk aside with her magic as her eyes focused on me.

Then the magic went under my shirt, and I could guess where they'd go after that. "That's enough, thank you. You got it all."

Water's jaw set. "You didn't put any anywhere else, sir?"

"Just the exposed parts," I quickly replied, holding up my hands.

Water shook her head, looking worried, but she turned back down the trail and resumed the hike.

Her worry made me worried. "I wear a lot more clothes than the average pony."

She swiveled an ear back at me, trotting along as she was. "That is true, sir, but is it enough to keep spores away? It is not complete coverage... sir, but..."

Easy snorted softly. "So, what does poison joke do? Are we talking rash, feel terrible, or..." She glanced over at me. "Am I going to have to look for a new boss?"

Water shook her head quickly. "It's not lethal!" she squeaked out, face darkening. "Just... I'll keep an eye on you, sir."

Poison joke didn't kill, no, so far I knew. Well, crud, that hadn't been very smart of me. There wasn't anything to do about it though, so we all just pushed onwards, trying to get as much distance as we could. The canopy overhead was getting complete. It was dark, but my phone reported that it wasn't actually night yet. It didn't matter. We couldn't see the sun anymore. The phone doubled a a flashlight, giving some blessed light to press on through.

A piercing howl had us all jump. It sounded like a wolf, and too close for comfort. Was there a distance at which a wolf's howl was alright to hear? Through a computer, I supposed. A second echoed as if replying to the first, making it clear that there was more than one of the things.

This wasn't the Everfree, did it have all of the same hazzards? Of course, this was a wild Equestria, maybe all of the forests used to be that dangerous until they managed to tame most of them save for the one that literally had Discord's seeds keeping it wild and dangerous.

Water shied over to my side. "I suddenly don't feel as tired, sir. We should keep going."

Work swiveled an ear towards us. "While I agree on the urgency of leaving this forest, it's too wide to try to cross without sleeping at least once."

Easy's horn began to glow all the brighter, shedding light even greater than my phone could manage. "Part of me is hoping they show up so we can just take care of them now instead of worrying about them."

As if in reply, the trees to the left of us groaned as they were shoved aside to allow the presence of a great canine figure to surge through them. It was easy to think little of them, there on the screen, with ponies protected with obvious plot immunity.

That timber wolf was big enough to look me in the eyes, and it did, growling deep in its wooden throat as it stalked forward.

I was holding my sword. I don't remember when exactly I had drawn it. It certainly wasn't practice that let me get it out that quickly. I blame pure terror. I grasped it two-handedly, its hilt cool against my suddenly fevered flesh.

I was in a tunnel vision. I had no idea what the others were doing, just me and that massive creature, my heart pounding wildly in my ears.

Water's squeal broke the spell. A second wolf had burst free beside her and was already snapping at her, going for the weakest member of the party. Easy spun around in place and lashed out her hooves, electricity rushing up her legs before impact, bright flashes and sparkles cascading out from her hooves into the tough wood of the beast.

The sound of wood thudding against the ground brought my attention back to my original enemy. The wolf was charging for me. I did what I hoped would help, I swung the sword. It bit into its tough side, sinking in a precious inch. The thing howled in what sounded more like fury than pain, unstopped in its charge.

It crashed against me, its wooden stacks of teeth sinking into my shoulder. Let me note that I had not fought for my life before. The biggest thing I'd been bitten by was a cat, and it wasn't even really angry. That moment was different, very different.

I wasn't thinking about it. Adrenaline and fear had become a heady mixture, thoroughly distracting me from pain. The arm that was pinned against me, pressed between the wolf and myself, thrashed. I grabbed whatever sticks I could feel and wrenched them free even as I brought my free fist in, punching wildly. I wasn't holding the sword anymore. I had dropped it, likely when the thing barreled into me.

I heard... something. It sounded familiar, but the sounds of the wolf and my own efforts were all I could focus on. The wolf was suddenly forced off of me. Work had crashed into the thing's side, knocking it clear of me.

The wolf turned on its new target, baring its wooden teeth that dripped with blood, my blood. I grabbed the dropped sword even as the wolf lunged for Work. My shoulder screamed in agony with every motion, but it was a distant scream, easily ignored in the battle haze.

Work was doing the best he could, kicking out at the hungry animal, but that only bought him a precious moment before a great swipe of wooden claws sent him crashing against a tree with a pained wheeze. The wolf seemed triumphant, following him and maybe ready to grab him and run.

I knew only fury and desperation. I didn't want to lose anyone. I held the sword as tightly as I could and charged forward at the back of the wolf. I didn't trust myself with even trying to swing it at the thing. Its hide was too tough and I was too inexperienced. I needed a strong hit, a deep hit. I ran with the sword straight out.

Time seemed slow, as if I was running through molasses despite the strain I could feel with every stomp on the ground. I was bursting into a dead sprint as if my life depended on it. It did, I realized after the fact. Time suddenly resumed as if making up for lost time. I slammed into the back of the wolf, the hilt of the sword punching me in the gut in a nauseating jab of pain.

However uncomfortable it had been for me, the tip of the sword sank true and deep into the thing's back. The wolf writhed at the end of it before falling to pieces, allowing me and the sword to crash to the ground amongst the collection of twigs and branches.

"Show's on!" called Easy as she spread her hooves out, flames erupting between them into the side of the howling and squirming second wolf. I would have laughed, had I the strength or awareness. She was schooling the second wolf as if she were born to the task.

All I knew was that my moment of immunity had passed. My shoulder hurt. My stomach hurt. I hurt. I needed... a moment. Just a moment.

It all went dark as I slipped from that cruel reality into a more comforting place.

I was laying down, my head resting in the lap of someone, a woman. Her hand was gently brushing my hair as she smiled down at me with both love and care. "Are you feeling better?" she asked.

"I am." The fight was forgotten. All I needed was that woman.

She leaned in, bending over me for a kiss, but as she drew closer, I realized something was awry. Women did not have big equine ears jutting from the top of their head. Women did not have such big nostrils. She pressed her pony snout to my lips, somehow we were face to face in the logic of dreams.

Her arms were around me and mine were coiled about her in a shared embrace. I could feel her tail twitch against my fingers, reminding me that the creature that I was with was no woman, not a human one anyway. I didn't care, in that way that dreams worked. I ran a hand down her back towards her bottom and that tail brushed all the more easily against me.

I fell over backwards. I wasn't sure what made me do that, but also didn't question it. Dreams rarely had to follow that sort of logic. She fell on top of me, her hooves landing on either side of my head. She was a pony, a specific pony. Water smiled down at me radiantly. "I love you," she whispered.

I grabbed her at the sides, and we began to physically show our love. I was certain, before, I had been wearing clothes, and then I wasn't. Dreams don't have to explain these things.

Her noises were music to my ears, and my own tried to rise to match her, to announce to the world that we were together. She was perfect, and I was a match for her. Even her insides seemed to match my outsides. How did that work, if we weren't even the same species? I didn't question it too hard. Dreams didn't leave much room for those kinds of thoughts. I was her stallion, and she quite willingly was my mare.

Water splashed against my face and I started awake. I had a harsher, but truer, world to face.

Author's Notes:

We had a howling good time in this chapter. Dreams are where typos are born, so watch out.

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