During the night, I woke with a start. Had some monster come to devour us?! Was a raiding party descending on our camp to take everything not bolted to the floor?

No, it was Water Lily, snuggled up tight against me. She hadn't been there before, and she was making unhappy little noises. She was also awake, I was fairly sure. "Water?" I called gently to her, almost a whisper. "What's wrong?"

Work sat up, ear turning towards us. "It's almost your watch, sir. Perhaps providence. Is it alright if I retire?"

He didn't say it, but I felt certain from his voice that he was tired. "Go ahead, I'm up now." I sat up, keeping Water from falling free until I ended up with her head in my lap, her eyes still squeezed shut. "Water, was... it a bad dream?"

"Mmhmm." She cracked open one large eye to look at me. "You're too kind, sir. I just had a little scare and... we... we are a pair, if only barely. I felt safer beside you."

I brushed her warm cheek, feeling the fuzz of her pelt brush back with equal force against the tips of my fingers. "You're fine." I wasn't mad at her snuggling up. "What was the dream about?"

"O-oh, nothing." Her eyes looked away. Ponies were awful liars.

"Clearly something." I scratched gently just beneath her chin. "Pairs share their problems, so go ahead. I won't laugh at your dream, even if it ends up being silly. Dreams are like that."

I heard Work settling down, curling up in his own little ball to get a nap before morning. Water rolled up to sitting on her haunches, looking at me quietly a moment, just the sounds of crickets to keep us company as we watched each other. "We were lost in some dark woods... Easy and Work were gone. We were... running, from something. No matter how fast we ran, it was just behind us."

Her ears spread out in either direction. "You tripped, sir. It rushed to get you, and... I woke up."

"Let's..." I didn't like how that dream ended. "Let's just call that the worst case. We won't go down that path, I'm certain."

"How?" Her eyes sparkled, hoping for reassurance, I surmised.

"Easy." I reached for her, petting gently along her powerful neck. "We won't run. Running means a pony's getting caught. Whoever's at the wagon is being asked to sacrifice themselves for a chance for the rest of us. Even if that ended well, we'd be down a person, and our supplies. I don't want to give up any of you."

Water quirked a little smile. "You barely know us, sir."

"I know enough." I stood up and peered out into the darkness towards the forest that managed to be even darker still. The area we were in was lit by the moon up above, but the canopy of the forest ahead denied that fragile light access, keeping it in the purest of darknesses. "None of you deserve that. We'll make it together, or not at all."

Water swallowed roughly. "Or... not at all." I had failed to comfort her. She glanced towards the others, sleeping as they were. "Sir? If... something should happen, I would like to face it... without regrets."

That had turned more morbid than I had planned. "What are you regretting?" Maybe it was something silly that we could fix.

Her magic wrapped around my hand as she rose up and trotted away from the camp, pulling me along with her. "It is something you can handle well, m'lord."

As it turned out, I was a terrible guard. On the positive, nothing ambushed us, and I grew closer to Water.

As the morning sun began to shine down on us, skipping sunrise abruptly thanks to Celestia's unseen influence, Water trotted around the campsite with a content smile and a bounce in her step. She woke up Easy with a gentle hoof nudge. "Wake up, sleepy head," She said in a happy bidding. "We have a forest to get through."

Easy grunted as she shook out. "What's got you so happy?" She half-yawned, rising to her hooves. Her eyes darted to me and I looked away from her. Maybe I wasn't that much better than the ponies at hiding some feelings.

Easy burst into laughter. "Bagged him, huh? Was he any good?"

Water lit up fiercely and scampered away towards the wagon. "I don't know what you're talking about!" she defended as she went, fooling not a person present.

Easy snickered even as she ran a brush over her mane, taming some of the mess that had come of it from our journey so far. "Good job, boss. Let's see if we can get through this forest in one day. I'd rather not camp out in it."

Prompted, I dug out my phone and quickly had the map up. I ballparked how far we had come, and looked at how large the forest was. "If we can keep going as fast as we have been, it'll take us..." There was no specific tool on the phone to measure arbitrary distances across the map. That would have been too easy. "Probably two or three days?"

Work snorted softly. "This forest didn't look small, sir. Let's have breakfast and get moving."

So we did just that, swapping rations and a water skin. It was time to move. Easy moved to take her turn at the wagon, but Water got in the way. "Allow me," insisted the maid. "We should all take a turn."

Easy's eyes half-lidded with a knowing smirk on her face. "Was he that good?"

Water scrambled into the yoke and got the wagon moving rather than answer that question.

I flicked one of Easy's ears. "Don't tease her."

"Oh, fine, boss. I'll just tease you instead." She thumped against me as we began to hike. "So... Were you face to face with her?"

Oh, by all the gods above and maybe a few below... "We should focus on not being eaten."

Work nodded. "A far more pressing concern than our relations." He coughed softly, moving to walk alongside Water. "I wish you the best, ma'am." He moved away from the blushing maid, giving her space.

Easy hastened to be beside Work. "You can't say you aren't curious."

"I can and will, ma'am. 'Tis inappropriate for any stallion, or mare, to ponder such, all the more so when it brings discomfort." He swiveled an ear towards her. "They will speak what they are comfortable with speaking. We should not press for more than that. What are we, savages?"

Easy sagged a little. "Brutal... I was just having a little fun. Walking isn't that... interesting. The first little 'something' happens, and you want me to just pretend I didn't notice." She looked back at me. "You're not mad, are you?"

It is hard to be angry at a pony for too long, especially with her looking at me with piteous eyes, hoping she hadn't offended me with her nettling. "I'm sure everything went, you know, fine, boss..." She kicked a small rock on the path as we pushed into the forest proper. The calls of birds seemed to pick up from the branches as if they were making note of our entry into their domain.

We let that topic fall off and hiked in relative quiet, watching mossy trees pass by on either side of the narrow trail. Narrow or not, it had seen other wagons and travelers. It was a real trail, which meant our own wagon moved reasonably well. It was mostly flat too, which I counted as a blessing.

Water suddenly hastened, racing to be beside the other two. "Stop!" They did, going still as statues as she pointed up ahead. "A patch of poison joke is infesting the road."

The bright blue flowers were spreading across the tiny trail, from one massive bed of them on the right to another growing patch on the left. I knew what poison joke could do, in theory. What they'd do, in practice, one couldn't know without trying it, and we didn't have Zecora around to fix it, not that she'd be born for hundreds of years. I waved at the mess of dangerous blossoms. "Can we get rid of them? There's only one trail."

Water wriggled free of the wagon harness and circled around to the back. "I think I have something..."

Work sat down slowly. "Do you mind if I inquire as to the nature of this hazzard? I've never heard of 'poison joke'. What's the humor to be found in any poison?"

Easy rolled a hoof. "Maybe it's a joke because you think it's a pretty flower and bam, you end up with a rash everywhere the next day. Ha ha, funny?"

Work raised a brow at Easy. "That hardly seems humorous, ma'am."

Water smiled as her magic pulled a small wooden box from inside the wagon. "Here we are." She popped the box open along a small hinge and lowered it to where she could peer inside. "Oh, don't try to pick them. It takes a very careful hoof to pluck them without getting their powder on you, and that's what causes the problem."

Easy hiked a brow as her magic glowed around one far away from herself. "How powdery can they..." She yanked the flower free and almost invisible, but not entirely, spores spread out in a cloud all around the flower, spreading out in fine tendrils of promised corruption. "Nevermind!" She dropped the flower to thump against the other flowers, sending up smaller clouds.

Water shook her head as she pulled out a small bottle. "We have to cover ourselves with this. It'll protect us from the spores."

I believed in good luck, but... "You had anti-poison joke, just in case?"

Water blinked at me. "It's effective against the spores of many toxic plants, including poison joke." She suddenly smiled. "You sound like you know what poison joke is, sir. You've read about them?"

She popped the cork out of the bottle and approached Easy. "Sit still, please." She began spreading the thin goop all over Easy. All over. Easy squirmed, but allowed herself to be thoroughly coated, as did Work. When Water came trotting up to me, I was not... as eager.

I put out my hand. "I can take care of myself, promise."

She looked a little upset. Had she been looking forward to that? Well, too bad on that one. I took the bottle and got to spreading it over my face and hands and arms and anywhere else that would be exposed to air before giving it back to her.

Water looked at me uneasily a moment before she took care of herself, spreading the goop across the entirety of her form with sweeps of her magic. "We can continue." She was hastily back under the harness and pulling the wagon ahead. "Try not to breathe while you're in the middle of it."

Mutagenic spores? What else would anyone want in their lungs? I took a deep breath, held my nose shut, and plunged ahead. I heard the others pick up to race with me, rushing right through the dangerous patch on through to the other side. The cloud was thick from our, and our wagon's passage, but we didn't sprout any new limbs, and soon emerged on the other end, intact for our troubles.

I moved away from the bed and shook away what bits seemed to want to cling to me. Only once we were about fourty feet down the trail did I finally let my breathe go with a mighty woosh, resuming my gasps for air. "Everyone alright?"

"I'm fine, sir," assured Water.

"No sweat." Easy gave a hooves-up.

"I'm not certain how toxic those things were, sir, but better safe than sorry." Work nodded as he pointed up ahead. "I think I see a clearing beside the trail up ahead. Perhaps it is a campsite ponies use along this trail?"

At least we had somewhere to enjoy lunch.

Author's Notes:

That could have been worse, eh? The poison joke thinks typos are funny, so watch out for those with all these spores kicked up.

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