Flash Sentry blushed as he laid on his back in front of Twilight. She was just laying there on the beach, reading a book well absentmindedly brushing the knots out of his belly fur. He wouldn't normally feel so embarrassed about it, but the humans were staring at him like foals who didn't know what a consort was. He half expected to have to give them "the talk."

Equestria was big on "free love," but the Princesses went a step further. The whole reason the royal guard was originally founded was so their princess had a harem of willing stallions. True the royal guard had evolved to have more duties as part of the actual military (even if they were glorified scouts), but the Princesses still pampered and fiddled with them.

Some guards were special though, the princess' favorites. They were called consorts and were given certain privileges for the princess' favor. Despite their official rank in the guard they could boss everypony else around. They offered the crown advice and emotional support. They got pampered quite a bit by the princess but weren't allowed to have other partners outside the Harem (to avoid bringing possible diseases back to the princess). They weren't really husbands though... more along the lines of willing sex slaves. They were somepony the princess trusted to experiment with her kinks and keep her confidences.

Unfortunately consorts usually were no longer allowed on reconnaissance missions as the Princess wasn't willing to risk them, which kinda sucked. Canned Cream was really lucky. He was a consort to Princess Luna but she still let him come out here into space without her. Shining Armor was probably the most famous consort, given his princess actually married him. Of course Twilight hadn't know her brother was even a consort and more then a little peeved when she found out. It was an honorable position but it was still an embarrassing one.

Flash was the only consort Twilight had brought with her, which did make him feel special... although part of him thought it might just be because he was the most vocal when she punished him... Twilight did love to punish her consorts and even gave them "maintenance" spankings. Those were supposed to remind them to behave, but it's not like guards are prone to disobedience in the first place. As well as into using whips and chains on them... not even her friends knew just how kinky Twi was...

Although Spike had walked in on Twilight spanking Flash over her knee. Twi played it off and pretended she was just disciplining one of the apprentices well Spike rubbed his own rear sympathetically... not sure why as Twilight once told Flash that she never actually spanked Spike, just grounded him and such. She told him that in confidence though... said since giving a spanking aroused her, it creeped her out at the idea of doing that to her ward or any actual child... yet she still read fiction were children were spanked... the princess confused Flash.

From a good distance away, watching the couple, Mouthy sighed as he looked at the princess with her stallion. They looked happy. It must be nice to be a consort. To be pampered and spoiled without a care in the world. Looking away, Mouthy saw Spike as the drake gave a lecture on Atypical Magical Manifestations.

"Classes are rare but can occur in any sentient creature." Spike blushed as he realized his mistake. "That is, any creature aware of mind and magic." Equestria had a different definition of sentient then humans, probably because humans didn't fall into that category. They were some weird gray area, no magic but easily having pony intelligence. They might even be smarter then ponies. No way ponies could have developed Warp Drive without magic.

Spike shook his head and focused back on his lecture, "There are 3 core classes; Rogues, Mages, and Warriors. Each class comes with it's own unique range of powers and natural talents. However there are also Archetypes, or rather secondary classes, which focuses on additional, more specialized, powers and talents. Everyone born with a class has both a core class and a secondary class.

"Warriors can channel their magic to give them burst of physical power, like what earth ponies can naturally do but to greater levels. Rogues have a number of powers and talents which make them superior scouts, born as masters of stealth to the point they can even travel through shadows. Mages have versatile spell casting, but not as realistically breaking as unicorns, more limited but still impressive in it's own right. A mage can cast spells without need of a focus like a horn or wand."

Mouthy sighed at the humans uncomprehending eyes. They just couldn't grasp that magic, at it's heart, is a pretty straightforward and simple concept. It just sounds complicated.

The young coltkit was laying off to the side, just watching the humans watch him. Nothing really interesting was happening.

"Boring, isn't it?" Mouthy heard a sinister giggle from behind him. Looking back there stood the lord of chaos and disharmony. "This isn't exactly the fun you were promised planet side."

Mouthy groaned out a sigh. "Not really. All we are doing is explaining common sense stuff to the humans. We can't even see the natives of this planet! I wanted to see how aliens live, not just lecture them on why our fur changes color when when we blush."

"It is indeed a shame..." Discord nodded. "How about we spice things up?" He snapped his fingers and suddenly Mouthy was gone. Twilight immediately jerked up to her hooves and ran over, but before she could get a word in Discord smiled. "You didn't think the test was over, did you?" he said as he vanished in a flash of white light.

###

Mouthy blinked as he appeared in a forest in his humanoid body. He wasn't really put out by this as he was naturally a shapeshifter (Kinda as he only had a handful of basic forms).

He had furless pale tan skin with a lot of freckles around my eyes but his hair was the same blue color. He still had his furry hooved lower legs and his fluffy fox tail and fox ears. His wings were also a lot bigger to compete for having a heavier body.

He often wondered just what this form was until he met the humans and saw the subtle similarities, well looking past the major differences. His foalhood tutor had called this his "humanoid" form and Mouthy just assumed that it was a bizarre made up word the yokai used.

There was a flash of light and Discord appeared next to him.

"Here is your chance." Discord smiled. "Let's see if you can make a new friend."

Mouthy blushed and squirmed. "I'm not really the most... socially adapt at making friends. Can you bring Spike here or-"

"No," Discord dismissed. "The very reason you struggle with such things is why you are perfect for this." Discord knew I f Mouthy failed Discord could claim it was because he had a natural handicap but if he passed Discord could rub it in Q's face that even Ponies with disabilities were capable of greatest. It be a big win with little risk. "Don't worry about it though. You have 3 weeks before your crew will find you."

"Three WEEKS!?!"

"Well, 2 weeks and 9 days, starting... now." Discord disappeared in a flash of light.

###

Twilight was panicking. "Discord!" she screamed at the sky as the humans stared at her like she was mad. "Discord!!!" she shrieked. "You can't just run off with one of my subordinates! We have been through this! Bring him back this instant." She stomped her hoof. What should have seemed childish made the humans fearful as the ground split open and cracked.

"Watch yourselves Twi." AJ walked over. "Mind that Alicorn strength."

"He just took him!" Twi snapped.

"I saw." AJ nodded. "But yelling at the sky won't help. Ya'll need a... kinder approach."

Twilight sighed and looked over at Fluttershy, who immediately eeped from her place by the human foals.

Fluttershy steeled herself and flew a bit away from the children. Landing on the beach Fluttershy spoke with rare authority, although barely raised her voice, "Discord?" she asked, more as a disapproving mother.

There was a flash of light and the long, almost serpent like abomination, appeared before her. "Yes, Flutter dearest?" The creature twisted in the air, yet it's mismatched wings didn't move.

"Why did you take one of our apprentices?" Fluttershy remained stern before the giant. The humans were just gaping at her.

"Well you did so poorly on your last test, I thought you could use some extra credit, well the rest of the class took a pop quiz." The abomination smiled deviously.

Twilight sighed as she landed next to Fluttershy. "More tests Discord? Can't we just relax for a bit?"

The humans stiffened at the word "Test". Was this a Q? Was this what they naturally looked like? Captain Indiana shared a look with his first officer, before walking over to creature. He stood beside the pony princess.

"Well if you want everyone to die for the sake of catching a few Zs." The creature smiled.

Twilight took notice of how the human stiffened. Still she addressed Discord. "Alright, you have our attention."

"The hooman can explain it to you better then I." This... Discord informed the Princess. It taunted both the Captain and the Ferengi, who stood further back in the trees.

Twilight looked at the human captain. The man remained stiff but the look the abomination was giving him told him he had no choice. Hopefully he could make the ponies understand the necessity of it. "There is an asteroid, about the size of a continent, on it's way here. It should be here within a month."

Twilight gaped, "An ASTEROID!!! While we are here sipping martinis by the beach!?!"

"You said we would only be here a week. That's more then enough time to get out and-"

"He hoped he could get you out of here before you noticed." Discord smiled. "For a civilian that doesn't have a god they are big on the 'divine judgment'."

Indiana glared. "This planet is on a collusion course with that asteroid. It is an apocalyptic event."

The Ferengi hissed as he stormed over. His stance aggressive and bouncy, clearly wanting a fight. "You Federation slime!!! Where do you get off judging if this planet has a right to live!!!" he didn't really ask. "That is why you were mining the Dilithium, isn't it!!! You were trying to save it, but the people? No, WHY SHOULD YOU BOTHER WITH THE PEOPLE!!!"

"The Prime directive forbids interference with the natural development of a planet!" the human Captain roared. "You think I like the fact I was ordered to save rocks over people! But this planets time has come!"

"You soulless MONSTER!!!" Solopax hissed.

"Like your people are any better." The human glared. "You would force the planet to surrender their most valuable resources and lively hoods before stepping in. They might as well be dead after you got through with!"

"That's enough!" Twilight spoke up, before looking at Discord, "How long do we have?"

"hmmmm," Discord pondered uninterested, "2 weeks and 9 days." He waved off. "By your pony calendar."

Twilight nodded. He horn glowed and her voice echoed across the island, yet somehow didn't hurt the ears of the people next to her, "Everyone back to the Ship, Code Red,"

The entire islands began packing up as fast as they could.

"Your highness," the human tried. "Can't you see what this thing is doing? It WANTS you to interfere. It wants you to put yourselves above common decency and declare yourselves superior. It WANTS you to fail."

Twilight just looked at him. "I think it is time you explained to me the purpose of this 'Prime Directive'," she said as she headed back to the ship. She paused and looked at Discord. "Why exactly did you take the deck hoof?"

Discord smiled. "Your poster colt will figure it out soon enough. I advise you to listen to him."

###

Mouthy did what he always did when he needed to think... he paced. He walked back and forth wondering what he needed to do. Discord wasn't one to torment ponies without reason, but there must be more to it then just making a friend. Why was this happening?

Mouthy looked around the forest and twitched when he heard it: Voices arguing in the distance. Was that where he was supposed to go? He couldn't hear anything else besides birds chirping. Standing tall in human form he sunk into the shadows and moved towards the noise.