Luna moaned as the young boy’s hands moved across her back, rubbing her shoulders and rubbing out the kinks in her back.

“Where did you learn to use your hands so well?” The fact that she was using the modern language more and more around him did not go unnoticed.

Spike shrugged, before realizing that she wouldn’t be able to see him while he rested on her waist.

“Twilight usually comes home sore when she’s out doing work for Princess Celestia, so when we would go to the spa, I’d try and pick up a few things from the workers.” He grinned innocently as the moon princess writhed beneath him. “Am I doing well?”

She nodded her head rapidly in confirmation.

“Please Spike, go lower,” she begged.

He complied.

“Lower,” she urged.

He complied again.

“A little bit lower,” she said, purring.

He moved his hands further down the Princess’s body, until he reached—

“Oooh, if we were living south of the border right now, you’d have to marry me,” she moaned.

Spike laughed in contentment while Luna hummed, pleased at how her young apprentice seemed to be doing as much good for her as she him.

Oh, who am I kidding, she thought to herself. I’ve been selfish, keeping him to myself like this.

Luna moaned once again as Spike reached a particularly troubled nerve.

Then again, she pondered, what is a princess without her vices?

Spike coughed as Rainbow Dash looked down at him, infuriated.

“Well?!” she snapped.

“I guess it’s because I’ve done it like ten times so far recently?” He shrugged nervously as his manhood refused to rise again after getting acquainted with Apple Bloom southern orchards.

“It happens to the best of us,” he squeaked.

Rainbow Dash grabbed him by the hair, visibly trying to control her anger. “I’ve been waiting literally all day for this dicking, and you’re telling me you can’t get it up because of all the sex you’ve been having?”

Spike winced as he dangled from the shorter woman’s grasp. “To be fair, I’ve orgasmed like, what, eight times lately? I think number six was technically your fault,” he pointed out.

Rainbow Dash pulled back her fist in anger.

“Wait wait wait!” His eyes widened at her ferocity. “That totally came out wrong, I’m sorry.”

“Duh,” commented Diamond Tiara, still resting on the desk.

“Can it, twerp.” Rainbow Dash flicked the younger girl on her nub, causing the white-haired girl to convulse into a sudden orgasm.

“GAH!” Diamond Tiara twitched in her back as another tiring wave of pleasure rolled through her thighs, the heat in her stomach abruptly rising. “Curse my hair trigger!”

Dash turned back to the young man still in her grasp. “So? What do you have to say for yourself, spaghetti-dick?”

Thinking quickly, Spike came up with a proposition that would satisfy the apparently-homicidal nymphomaniac that was Rainbow Dash.

“I-if you let me rest for a bit, I’ll be ready to go, I promise.” Another idea struck him. “In fact, since you’ve been waiting so long, I’ll take you out on the town tonight. Just you and me.”

Rainbow Dash stared Spike in the eyes, long enough to make him think that she wouldn’t accept his offer.

“Alright then, you've got a deal. Go home and rest up, then,” she said, a smirk on her face. “I’m going to keep you up all night.”

Spike thanked Celestia that he was still alive.

“So, Luna, how much longer do you think it’ll take before I’m out of hibernation?” Spike asked, his hands still roaming the cooing Princess’s back.

Luna’s eyes shot open. “Crap crap crap crap crap!” She leapt off of the bed and vanished magically, leaving the young boy looking confused.

Moments later, the moon princess reappeared, looking slightly guilty.

“Now before you get mad, just hear me out, my friend. You’re amazing with your hands, and I haven’t been touched in a very, very long time—”

Spike felt dread creeping up his spine at Luna’s hesitance. “How long has it been, Luna?”

She was silent for a moment. Then, “I may have accidentally let you sleep a few extra…months. Eighteen, in fact.”

Spike’s eyes shot wide open.

Spike whistled as he hopped out of the shower, drying himself off and wrapping a towel around his waist. He glanced around, looking for the outfit he had left out for himself.

He groaned. “Twilight, this isn’t funny.”

The bookish girl called from downstairs, “Sorry Spike, but if you want your clothes back, you’ll have to come and get them!”

“I don’t have time for this, woman!” He called back.

“Deal with it!” She yelled.

Groaning, he ambled down the stairs, a few choice words already making reservations on the tip of his tongue. “Twilight, I’m going to be la—” He froze as he saw who was in her company.

“My my my, you certainly didn’t lie about his physique, Twilight,” purred Rarity, her eyes raking over Spike’s chest and legs. He’d have covered himself up if he wasn’t used to it by now.

“Is that really Spike?” squeaked a familiar high-pitched voice. “Is he going to be here for the sleepover too?”

Not another one. He looked over and saw Sweetie Belle gaping at him from her seat.

“Hey, Sweetie.” He inwardly rolled his eyes as he saw her blushing violently. “And no, I don’t trust Twilight or your sister to keep their hands to themselves.” Or you, for that matter.

Twilight pouted indignantly. “I’m perfectly capable of self-control!”

“Sturgeon,” he replied, instantly winning the argument.

“Rarity!” Sweetie Belle hissed to her sister from across the room. “Keep it in your pants, I think I want him!”

Spike facepalmed, while Rarity calmly sipped her tea. “Everyone does, dearest.”

“Twilight,” Spike growled impatiently, “where are my clothes? I’m going to be late, and I don’t want Rainbow Dash any more pissed off than usual at me!”

“You’re going out with Rainbow Dash?!”

Spike looked around, searching for the other familiar voice that unnerved him. He looked down. “What the hell—”

“Can I come too?” Scootaloo was crouched between his legs, looking up eagerly.

“Wha—no!” He scrambled from over her, wrapping his towel protectively around his legs. “What happened to everyone? When did you all become such perverts?”

“I’m not a pervert!” chirped Sweetie Belle

Spike narrowed his eyes at her. “Then why exactly are you holding my pants?”

She slowly rolled them up, before sitting down on them. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Spikey-Wikey.”

“Hey!” Rarity snapped out of her ladylike demeanor. “That’s our thing, you unoriginal harlot!”

“Well, it’s not like he’d want your ragged old hide anyway!” Sweetie Belle barked back.

Twilight had to magically restrain the two from clawing each other’s eyes out.

Spike had had enough. “If I don’t get my clothes back right now, none of you are going to get any sex for as long as I’m staying here!”

A chorus of gasps. Twilight choked, “You wouldn’t!”

Spike snorted. “To save myself from Rainbow Dash? You bet I would.”

In seconds, his clothes were piled at his feet, folded.

“Freaking loons,” he muttered, walking back up to the loft.

He heard Sweetie Belle ask Rarity, “What’s a sex?”

“Eighteen months?!” screeched Spike, clutching his hair in panic. “That’s a year and a half! How could you let me miss that much time?”

Luna could only grin sheepishly. “Everyone makes mistakes?”

Spike groaned in frustration.

“If it’s any consolation, Spike, I’m more than willing to make it up to you.” She licked her lips unconsciously. “Over and over—”

“Not now, Luna!” he growled.

“Okay!” the once-proud princess squeaked.

“Ugh,” he moaned, “as soon as I get out of here, I’m going drinking.”

In silence, the green-haired young man donned his black jeans and purple dress shirt, making sure to button up all the way so as to attract as little attention as possible.

He turned to face the mirror, examining himself to make sure he looked alright.

Wait, didn’t I just button my shirt up?

Confused, he rebuttoned his shirt, only to find that his pants were sliding down his waist.

“You’re late.”

Spike looked over to see Rainbow Dash sitting on the windowsill, absentmindedly twirling his belt by the metal loop.

“How—” he started to say.

“I think we’ve already established that I’m fast, Spike.” For once, the usually boisterous young woman appeared serious, her gaze penetrating.

“Oh really now?” Spike raised an eyebrow. “You’re stealthy, I’ll give you that, but how fast are you, really?”

“Count to ten,” she ordered.

Starting his count, Spike gawked as Rainbow Dash dove headfirst through the doorway.

He was shocked when he found that he didn’t hear her land, or her footsteps as she ran back up the stairs mere seconds later, before he even reached ten.

“Bam,” she said, holding up a pair of light purple panties in Spike’s face, “courtesy of Sweetie Belle.”

Spike’s eyes widened. “You didn’t.”

A sexy smirk crossed her face. “She’ll notice in a couple of minutes, give or take. Skirts make it easy, though.”

Spike sputtered. “But—!”

Rainbow Dash shrugged. “But? I fail to see the consequences of my actions.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he muttered.

“Now let’s get going, spoilsport. Every second we spend sitting around here talking is a valuable second that we’re not getting fucked up.” She grabbed him by the waist and walked toward the window.

“Dash, the door—” he started to say.

“Doors are for poor people.” She slipped her hand in his back pocket—along with Sweetie Belle’s panties—before jumping out of the window, with a screaming Spike in tow.

“You maniac! You’re going to get us killed!” he screeched, his voice an octave higher than usual.

Dash laughed manically as she held him bridal-style, sliding down a branch smoothly before falling off, onto her waiting motorcycle.

“Man, I always wanted to do that!” she chuckled, setting the shocked young man down behind her. Dash pulled her rainbow streaked helmet on, passing a similar-looking one back to Spike.

“Hold on,” she called back to him. “And feel free to grope me!”

“I just might!” snarled the still-rattled young man, slipping his hands inside of Dash’s fairly tight jeans to give her a wedgie.

She’s not wearing underwear. Why am I not surprised?

Dash let out a whoop when she felt his hands grasping her bottom. “Yeah, that’s the way to do it!” She revved the engine, speeding off to their destination.

Spike sighed as another frustrated young woman huffed and puffed her way away from him.

For Celestia's sake, tell them a dress looks good on them and they think they're already in your pants. He growled to himself as he spotted the same powder blue-haired vixen from earlier eying him over her Manhattan.

He slid out of his stool at the bar and made his way to a secluded corner of the restaurant, shooting a mild glare at anyone who tried to follow.

He considered his appearance.

Tan skin, green hair, and well in shape. A snort. Not exactly unappealing, but I have been getting more looks than on a usual Friday night.

Just as he sat down in his selected booth—thump—he felt the impact of another body drop onto the worn leather. He rolled his eyes as he turned to the newcomer.

A curious leg rubbed his underneath the table as a lovely face with pale green hair greeted him above.

"Hey there, cutie!" Ugh, her voice is like caramelized glass. "I saw you sitting over here all by your lonesome, and figured you could use some company!"

Spike's eyes widened as her foot, very much unwelcome, made its way up to his thigh before he grasped it firmly in one hand. She giggled innocently as she tried to fix him with a sultry gaze.

He lowered his voice to an angry mutter, so that only she could hear his next words.

"Listen here, because I'm not going to repeat myself."

“What’s this place? And why did we take your motorcycle to a place that’s literally right across from the library?”

Rainbow Dash looked over at the curious young man, incredulously.

“This is a bar,” she said, mockingly, “and because motorcycles. Now close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.”

Spike huffed as he crossed his arms. “I knew that, I’ve just never been on this side of town before.”

Dash rolled her eyes as she took him by the hand and led them to a couple of barstools near the front. “Just pipe down and try not to act like such a virgin, alright?” She pulled his stool closer to hers abruptly as she motioned to the bartender for a drink. “You already look like a whore’s wet dream.”

Spike was unsure how to respond. “Thanks, I guess?” Then, “Is something wrong, Rainbow? You’ve been kind of agitated all day.”

Dash stared flatly at him. “I haven’t had sex in a week, Spike. Seven days. That’s like, almost a year for dogs.”

“Unusual for you, but I fail to see how that’s relevant.”

Dash growled lowly. “I’ve been on my cycle, dumbass.”

Spike’s eyes widened. “Oh. Eww?”

Rainbow Dash’s narrowed in anger. “One more snide comment and you’re gonna find yourself on the business end of my Rainbowner.”

Spike blinked. “Your…what?”

“My twelve inch silicone lover. You two would make great friends, since he also got acquainted with Twilight’s ass not too long ago.”

What is it with me and threats of getting sodomized? “Uh, sorry?” What would Fancy Pants say right now? “I’ll, uh, let you make it up to me later?”

Rainbow Dash wasn’t buying it. “Shit kid, you don’t just put it out there like that, you gotta give me something to work for.”

Spike scoffed at her. “Oh really, now? I was under the impression that you’d drag me into a nearby alley and have your way with me.”

Dash took a swig of her beer and smirked at him. “A girl can only take so much, don’t tempt me.”

They stared at each other blankly for a couple of seconds, before making for the door.

“Only a quickie,” he said.

“Only a quickie,” she agreed.

“And so the gentlemanly stork tells his client, “I daresay, I do believe that I shall never try scat again! So he gets a mop to clean up the filth that is absolutely gushing from—”

Rarity’s story only grew more bizarre, to the horror of both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, and the sick amusement of Twilight.

“And so, to pay for his overwhelming gambling and alcohol addictions, the gentlemanly stork leaves the red light district for good, and instead makes a respectable living delivering offspring from local brothels. And that, my dears, is where babies come from.”

Rarity got up, collecting the silverware from the paralyzed young girls, before joining Twilight in the kitchen to ‘chat’ while doing the dishes.

“My goodness, I had always feared that that conversation would have been terribly awkward, but a little embellishment makes all the difference!” she exclaimed.

Twilight shook her head, a wry grin on her face.

“Rarity, you’re the worst kind of role model.”

Rarity chuckled good-naturedly at her friend’s jab.

“Twilight, my dear, I never exactly aspired to be a good one.”

They both laughed sadistically as they heard Scootaloo run outside to puke.

Moments later, they found themselves in a fairly secluded alley, devoid of life and dark enough to hide their activities.

“How do you want it?” Spike asked, shrugging his shirt off.

“As rough as you can give it,” she replied, taking off her leather jacket, revealing her wife-beater and dog tags.

Spike immediately stiffened, noticing that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

“I don’t usually say this to women, but you’ve got amazing abs.” He murmured.

Dash snorted, saying “So what you’re saying is, you usually say that to men instead?”

She snickered as she saw Spike’s frustrated reaction. “Good, get mad. Angry sex is the fucking best.” She leant against the brick wall of the alley, resting her head against her arms.

“Well? Do I have to slap some bacon on my ass or what?”

Spike rolled his eyes as he pulled Dash’s pants down, nipping her on the ass slightly as he did.

“Would it kill you to try some foreplay for once? Geez.”

Dash chuckled, her voice gaining a huskier tone than usual. “I swear, Spike, you were meant to be born with a vagina.”

She gasped when she felt him lining his erection up against her, before pushing into her roughly, his hands seeking out her breasts through her shirt.

He laughed at her reactions, twisting her already hard nipples teasingly. “Man, is it cold out here or what?”

Unfortunately for him, Rainbow Dash wasn’t so far gone yet that she would neglect to elbow him in the stomach. “Less talking, more ravaging,” she commanded.

In response, Spike grasped at her hair, pulling it back in order to push deeper into her.

“Mmm!” She leaned further against him, her small, lithe body absorbing his thrusts like a coiled spring. “Harder! Make it hurt!”

He complied, dislodging himself before pushing her stomach-first against the wall, pumping into her while she was inches off of the ground.

“MMM!” Dash’s breasts ground against the brick wall in an obscenely arousing way, her legs stiff as cardboard while her hips nudged her higher and higher.

He slammed into her, harder and harder, reveling in her moans as he cradled her masterfully crafted body. The firm cheeks of her ass flushed pink as he rubbed against them with every stroke.

Pulling out, Spike aimed his slick erection higher, and pushed against the firm resistance of Dash’s ass, lately noticing the cloud-and-lightning tattoo on both sides.

“AH!” She screeched, surprised at the sudden entrance. She nearly started to convulse when he slipped two fingers inside of her pussy, twitching rhythmically while he pulled on her hair with his teeth. His free hand grabbed her right leg, pulling it up to his hip to drive as far into her as he could.

Her moans almost sounded frantic as he worked her, moving savagely in and out of her ass as he took immense pleasure in making the dominating woman squirm beneath him.

His fingers pinched the clit near her opening, pulling a heaving scream from her lips. Spike marveled at how flexible she was, as Dash voluntarily moved her foot up to his neck, doing a partial split while still pressed face-first against the wall. He pressed even further into her heat, groaning as she enveloped his manhood like a vise grip wrapped in satin.

The crude slapping sounds of skin-on-skin and Dash’s increasingly desperate moans were getting to him, drawing Spike into what was sure to be a momentous orgasm.

Releasing Dash’s hair from his mouth, he moved his fingers from her crotch up into her mouth, making her suck his fingers to taste herself. He then grasped her by the neck and pulled her into a rough kiss, pushing into her one last time before hot spurts of seed filled her ass. He angled himself so that her folds would be rubbing against the brick wall, slowly moving her up and down, bringing Dash into a screaming orgasm muffled by their kiss. Her fluids rolled down the wall as her legs went limp, and the ferocious athlete rested against the stomach of the younger man, before they both fell down onto the cobblestone alley with a thud.

Dash laughed tiredly as she straddled the man beneath her, pants rolled down and nipples still poking against her shirt. “Hell, I haven’t been fucked like that since band camp.” She moved her mouth down to lick at his abs.

Spike panted, still caught up in the throes of pleasure thanks to his enthusiastic partner. “I’m going to do us both a favor and not go into how wrong that sounds.”

He paused as he heard a second set of breaths panting heavily. “What’s wrong, Dash? I thought a quickie wouldn’t be a problem for you?”

She looked up through the mess of her hair, magenta eyes confused. “It wasn’t.”

They looked toward the entrance of the alley, only to find a familiar purple-haired, tan-skinned girl staring back at them with impossibly wide eyes, chest heaving with panic.

“That,” Scootaloo said between breaths, “was amazing.”