Dammit, Sun Horse! Why couldn't you have just killed me like you were supposed to? Matthias pondered bleakly as said Solar Diarch led him across the moon-kissed grounds of the Castle’s Commons, her sister hanging off to his side close enough for her azure wings and flowing tail to brush against him occasionally.

It had started off as such a promising looking week for the formerly diminutive teacher too:

Doc P. had all but declared him fit to leave the infirmary under his own recognizance, pending the results of tomorrow’s bloodwork.

Luna had fashioned a quill for him that let him write with freaking starlight after she accidentally crushed his portable stationary set with an overly aggressive glomp on her part.

And Celestia, bless the mare, had finally started letting him stretch his legs beyond just the sections of the castle they'd cordoned off for him. Having gone so far as to up and cancel Day Court twice already, as well as push back this afternoon’s house address by an hour, just so she could spend a little extra time walking him through a few of her home’s less-traveled corners. Wanting to give Matthias some lay of this strange new land he now found himself in, as well as offer him some company while the sun was still up and her sister was asleep.

Hell, Starry had even begun wrangling together the upper echelons of both hers and Shining’s respective commands, with Celestia and Luna’s blessing of course, and had started acquainting them with the supposed Monster from the Deeps that no magic could touch. Having learned from her rulers just what the freaky looking alien had suffered through to try and buy his fellow prisoners’ safety, the stab-happy little thestral wanted to give her subordinates a name and face to put to all the conflicting stories and crazy rumors running rampant throughout the barracks concerning the castle’s newest resident. Introducing them to him in groups of four to six, and with both princesses present for Matthias’ sake, so she could give them a full debrief on what had gone down in the Deeps last month and what the poor guy had let happen to him in hopes of getting everypony out of that damned den alive.

All while making it abundantly clear that should their guest suffer any further disgrace or injury, they wouldn’t just be answering to a lawful bipolar High-Honor Guard with a penchant for dual-wielding poison-coated hand-daggers. But to two very upset and miffed demigoddesses who could just as casually banish them to their respective charges as they could cleanse their colons with either a prominence or meteor shower.

And to be fair, their efforts actually had gone a long ways towards diffusing the accumulated fear and tension that had been building up throughout the quarter of the castle they’d been housing Matthias in for the past four and a half weeks. Seeing as nearly all the guards and sentries assigned to his nanny-detail had just about done away with the hair-triggers around him. While the subsequent calm and ease they now carried seemed to be bleeding into the cadres of doctors, nurses, and hospital staff tasked with getting the left half of his body looking a little less like raw hamburger.

But it seemed as if no amount of hugs or nuzzles from Luna was ever going to be enough to fully ease away the sting of a guard, who hadn't yet gotten the memo about the celestial suppository, flashing steel at him.

While all of Celestia’s promises that he was both safe and welcomed within her kingdom didn’t really amount to much whenever he’d hear a bunch of nurses bickering in the hall about whose turn it was to babysit the shaven ape.

And as much as he appreciated the lengths Starry would go through to try and slip a little meat into his dinner (or breakfast as she and Luna liked to call it). He’d gladly swear off bacon for life if it would finally silence the screams of that lost little pegasus filly who had stumbled into his room on accident after getting separated from her school’s tour group.

And then, of course, there were the nobles.

From what he'd been able to piece together from his talks with both Luna and Celestia, more so from the latter since the former seemed somewhat hesitant to engage with him on the subject, the Equestrian diarchy appeared to be some gentle blend of constitutional monarchy mixed with the best parts of an enlightened dictatorship. Consisting of a two-house, bicameral legislative structure nearly identical to that of Great Britain's Parliament. With both a representative body occupying the similarly named House of Commons and an appointed body ensconced within the House of Lords. All of which was led and overseen by the offices of Royal Pony Sisters.

However, whereas British royalty seemed content with merely living off the welfare of the state and giving Entertainment Tonight three month’s worth of programming material whenever one or more of them decided to get married, pregnant, or both. The sisters still maintained both the executive oversight, as well as the judicial prerogative, of the terran kings and queens of old. Having not only the final say when it came to enacting any legislation lucky enough to have survived the vetting from the Lords but the absolute authority to rule upon their legality as well.

Manifesting this power in the form of the various courts and councils they hosted throughout both the day and night. Used to help their little ponies settle cases running the gambit from simple zoning disputes to more broad-spanning issues such as approving trade agreements between nations or sanctioning tariffs without having to wait for them to work their way through the Houses first.

And yes, while his inner Virginian shuddered at the thought of having two mares (albeit two very nice and snuggly mares) wielding such unfettered power without any apparent system of checks or balances in place. He’d much rather suffer these “tyrants” cuddly wrath over giving their immediate juniors in the House of Lords any kind of executive privilege.

As unlike their Terran contemporaries in the lords temporal, whose bare minimum for entry, required being, first and foremost, a goddamn decent human being. The only requirements necessary for joining the hallowed ranks of the Equestrian Nobility was being born into a family with sufficient enough silver to cast at least nine sets of silver spoons. Possessing a sphincter, loose yet firm enough, to comfortably hold at least eight of those spoons at any given time. And having a case of affluenza severe enough so as to make the court of Louis the Fourteenth appear downright Amish by comparison.

Fortunately for Equestria, however, it wasn’t as if all they did was loaf about each day and night, bleeding the proletariat dry in an attempt to out luxuriate the other, all while claiming the accomplishments of the common pony as their own. Most of them, in fact, seemed to have either been groomed to fill or had inherited, some manner of high ranking position or title within the companies and firms built by their families. So it wasn’t like they were entirely talking out their asses, or flanks as they preferred, whenever one or more raised an objection to whatever proposition happened to be on the table that day.

But Cthulhu forbid you should ever do anything so foolish as inconvenience them or waste their oh, so precious time. Because if you were naive enough to view them as anything less than the absolute fucking center of your universe, then you’d quickly find generation upon generation of razor honed entitlement bared at your throat like the fangs of some plumed up chihuahua.

A mistake Matthias had been unwittingly making each time he’d accepted an offer from Celestia to have lunch with her or let her accompany him on a walk outside of the infirmary. As such dalliances had cut into the time she had typically set aside for the Lords and Ladies to meet with her, and discuss matters, on a less formal basis. And if there was one thing the upper-crust of the Equestrian nobility loved more than comparing the lengths of their diamond encrusted dicks, it was flaunting their supposed importance and worth to the crown. With nothing short of Discord on a sugar-high or a liquidation sale at one of their competitors’ estates, coming between them and a chance to get some quality brown nosing time in with their princess.

Of course, years upon years of being raised to believe that you’re Celestia’s god given gift to the world, as well as the best prep schools and tutors bits could buy, could only do so much to prepare somepony for a close encounter of the hairless alien monkey kind. Especially when the hairless alien monkey in question just so happens to be an omnivore nearly as big as the princess they had been hoping to suck up to and vice versa.

So whatever indignation they might have felt towards their Solar Diarch from having to dirty their freshly pedicured hooves trotting all the way down to the castle’s Western Ward would almost instantly be washed away in the borderline primal surge of shock and terror they felt when laying eyes upon Matthias for the first time.

And yes, while Matthias did find it mildly satisfying seeing all of the bluff and bluster from these pompous ponies flatten like an uncorked bottle of champagne. He could have done without the subsequent screams of unbridled terror, the calls for guards to throw him in chains, and the occasional brave snob who’d actually try and blast him in an attempt to wrest their fair princess from his clutches.

And he really could’ve done without Celestia apologizing profusely to the goddamn snobs, promising them amends for both the time they had lost and their continued silence.

Or having that one blonde bastard sicking his House Guard on him and Starry after Matthias had refused to say where he had gotten his new quill from. With only the timely intervention of Luna threatening to go full Ursula on the pretty-boy prick keeping Starry and her squad from propagating a few old bat pony stereotypes when it came to bathing in the blood of the not-so-innocent.

So, to say that Matthias had been feeling just the tiniest bit on edge for the past few days would be on par with saying Celestia had only the slightest fondness for cake. With each scream, threat, and attack against him reinforcing what his alpha had beaten into him over and over and over again:

That he was a worthless wretch too weak to fend for himself

That only by their love and mercy was he allowed to live

And that every lash and strike that fell upon him was one that he had rightly earned

Thankfully, however, Celestia wasn't just gonna sit back and watch him crawl back into the shell she and Luna had been desperately trying to peel him out of for the past month. Having finally gotten a chance to see him beam a full smile without any hint of fear or trepidation after Luna invited him to sit in on their morning Rising and Lowering. There was just no way in Tartarus she was going to let some bad eggs in her court reduce him back to the mere animal she had first mistaken him for.

So, after getting the all-clear from the good doctor, and after a week’s worth of wheedling and cajoling on Luna’s part, they had finally managed to convince Canterlot’s resident human to take a stroll with them beyond the royal palace’s walls and winding halls. Hoping that the change in pace would not only take his mind off of the threats and insults that had been thrown at him but make any passing pony, noble or otherwise, think twice before accosting the poor guy. Having not one, but two, of their princesses accompanying him and all.

Not to mention, with the days getting longer and hotter, as they were, and with the final preparations for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration pushing tensions around the city to a yearly high. Celestia felt it would be nice just to step outside and feel the balmy breeze her sister's night offered brushing against her coat, rather than simply retire for the evening. Having figured that a simple stroll with her long-lost sister and an alien meat eater wouldn’t be the worst way to spend what little free time Harmony had deemed fit to give her.

And more importantly, however, and much to the delight of the Lunar Diarch, they had finally managed, at long last, to find a rare convergence in their respective off-times, and were finally going to introduce Matthias to Celestia’s one-time protege, and Luna’s teacher when it came to all things Equestria in the modern era, Twilight Sparkle.

Hoping that such a meeting would not only help in facilitating the return of the human’s voice but, in the unlikely event that they were unable to find a way for him to return home. She could, at the very least, begin acclimating him to the strange new laws and customs now being forced upon him. Plus, having seen how poorly both her guards and staff had been reacting to him, Celestia felt it best that he have somepony else in his life, other than Luna and Starry, whom he could count on as a friend.

But as Luna’s night continued to bear down upon Matthias, it’s billion sterling eyes boring through, and into his soul. He couldn’t help but wonder if there was some way he could set off the flighty little bat mare, who was currently dipping in and out of from behind the various gargoyles and reliefs lining the roofs along their path. And have her follow through with that promise she had made him a month ago about pulling steel on him. But given how she had promised to rip Blueblood’s horn off the other day before sticking him with it like a goddamned pig and slurping up the runoff, he doubted something like pantsing Luna was gonna get her to finish what the Sun Princess and her Captain couldn’t.

Seriously, Celestia, the only way I could have made it easier for you and Shining was if I had “insert sword here” tattooed on my chest and an X over my heart, Matthias thought with a dejected sigh as the prospect of another play-date with one of the princess’ so-called experts continued to hollow out a hole in his gut.

As aside from the droves of physical therapists, dermatologists, and, oddly enough, prenatal specialists assigned to his care, the First Princess of Equestria had also reached out to various authorities on the arcane from across the kingdom in the hope that they could find a means of finally removing the shackle from around Matthias’ neck. But between the ricocheting bolts of mystical energies causing everybody to hit the dirt more times than he could count, the continued presence of some twenty odd pounds of steel digging into his throat, and the accusations of him somehow purposefully interfering, or not wanting his collar taken off. It had gotten to a point where he’d almost rather stay mute, or, to a lesser extent, try and finish what Celestia and Shining had started last month.

I mean, a big hulking monster with a pickaxe is coming at you, the lives of seven ponies are on the line. Hell, Samson was even kind enough to mention how they “gave” me the skittish one to “play” with for a night. Seriously, if implied rape isn't enough to get me killed, I doubt nothing short of an attempted regicide is going to get me closer to a cage in that big ol’ dog kennel in the sky.

Seeing Matthias’ posture begin to wilt once again, and feeling his muscles starting to tense beneath another accidental brush of her wings against him. Luna closed the already negligible distance between them by gripping his hand and rubbing her velvety thumb along a divot of scar tissue running between the knuckle of his index finger and his wrist.

“Does something trouble thee, friend May?” Luna asked worriedly, in spite of the string of marely giggles Matthias’ blushing half a face threatened to pull from her. Fortunately, she was able to compose herself some in the time it took for Matthias to reach beneath the baggy t-shirt he was wearing and pull out the quill she had given him earlier in the week. Having taken to keeping it out of sight whenever he wasn’t in the company of the princesses ever since his encounter with Blueblood.

‘It’s nothing,’ Matthias wrote out on the sky in front of him. The words somehow moving to hold their position relative to him before he flung them in Luna’s direction. Too busy marveling at how he had just written on fucking space to notice Luna blushing and wagging her tail at the sight of him still wearing her gift, even after all the trouble it had caused him.

“Are you sure? ‘Cause if We didn’t know any better, We’d have assumed we were heading towards an early brunch with our beloved nephew rather than our weekly lesson with dearest Twilight?” Luna tenderly teased as she tried coaxing more out of her friend. Fearing for a second, however, that bringing up her and Tia’s distant relations would only serve to agitate the poor creature further. Only to let out a relieved sigh and chuckle when all he did was cock his remaining eyebrow at her and give her a deadpan stare worthy of the statues adorning their garden.

‘And if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear a certain somepony was trying to get me jumped by Starry. Afterall, I seem to a recall her giving me express permission to start flicking her upside the ear if her speech started slipping into the royal formal too much. Matthias snarked as he made sure to underline and draw the I’s as thick as possible before bringing his thumb and middle finger up to her ear threateningly.

“You *gulp* you know that our- *flick* ow, that my captain stands vigil over th- you?” Luna questioned in a mix of surprise and worry. Surprise because she hadn't made Matthias privy to her Captain's duties for the evening. And worry because he had yet to release his flicking stance and still held his fingers within striking distance of her ear.

‘When you’ve been working in what's essentially an echo chamber for Cthulhu knows how long, you tend not to miss the sound of metal scraping against stone.’ He explained before flinging a “Hi Starry” up to the gargoyle she had just ducked behind, chuckling as best he could when he heard a strangled *eep* float down from the rooftops, followed by an obsidian clad hand waving nervously at him.

“Do… do you disapprove?” Luna asked shakily, fearing that her friend may have misconstrued her having her captain following them as a sign that she was somehow scared or wary of him. But such fears were short-lived when she felt his hand plop down on her head and begin mussing up her mane.

‘No, it’s fine,’ he wrote to her after relenting on his assault, ‘Actually, given how willing she was to threaten royalty in front of two-dozen witnesses, I’d probably feel safer if she was down here with us, all things considered.’

“Safer? Then there truly is something giving you pause,” Celestia questioned gently as she fell in next to Matthias. Startling the human and the Lunar Diarch slightly as they hadn’t noticed her giving up point in their little trio, or quartet if they were counting Starry, to check in on the state of her ward.

‘It’s no big deal,’ Matthias wrote after regaining some control of his heart rate, and after untangling his hand from the writhing mass Luna’s mane had become. However, his resolve began to cave beneath the worried visages of the princesses. ‘Really, it’s nothing much. It’s…’ his hand hesitated, ‘it’s just…’

“It’s just what, Sir May?” Celestia asked him warmly before gingerly placing a hand on his shoulder. Breathing a small, but relieved sigh when he didn’t flinch at her touch though she did have to stifle her laughter at Luna’s puffed up cheeks and flaring wings.

‘...It’s just..., are you sure she knows exactly what she’s getting into?’ Matthias asked the princesses cautiously. Trying his best not to sound as if he was calling their judgment into question.

“In what sense?” Luna inquired as she ran her wing up and down his back, much to the shock and surprise of Celestia.

‘In the sense that, you know? Is she gonna be expecting… all… this?” he attempted to explain before using the feathered end of his quill to gesture across his scarred and hairless frame. ‘I just… I just don’t want her freaking out and blasting me is all.’ He confessed before bracing himself for the oncoming storm of scorn and resentment his concerns were sure to cause. Only to freeze up when he felt the sisters pull him closer between them and giggle heartily.

“Hee hee, rest assured Sir May, the only thing you have to fear from my former pupil is the possibility of developing carpal tunnel from trying to answer the deluge of questions she is sure to assault you with,” Celestia promised him jovially. A warm elation spreading throughout her sizeable chest as she felt Matthias relax and lean into her embrace.

“It is as our sister says! Young Twilight Sparkle is a pony of such staggering care and compassion, that it has taken no less than three official proclamations from the Office of Solar Affairs to keep her from rushing to thy bedside and making thine acquaintance.” Spoke Luna from his left as she draped a wing over his shoulder in both a comforting and protective gesture.

‘Really? Because I seem to recall you both saying the same things about the last three mages who tried to get this thing off of me. He wrote out before drumming his fingers along the edge of his collar, the shimmering words seemingly dripping with both doubt and sarcasm.

“I… I'm sorry,” Celestia lamented as she broke away from their huddle, her ears and wings drooping as she tucked her tail between her legs while the fine blue hairs on the nape of Luna’s neck began to bristle. “I had no idea the wards woven into your shackle would be so complex, nor did I believe the egos of my ponies could be so fickle.”

Almost by instinct, Matthias moved to pull her back into his embrace, wrapping his arms around her tightly before nuzzling her with his right cheek. Tearing a surprised gasp from the Princess of the Sun and causing her wings to ruffle jerkily.

‘You can't hold yourself accountable for the actions of others, only your own,’ he wrote once he had let her go. ‘And your actions, have been nothing if not kind and generous. Plus, it always warms my heart seeing somebody specing for Unrelenting Force over Durnehviir or Bend Will.’ He assured the both of them before bringing them back into the hug. Some amused, albeit silent chuckles, slipping past his lips at both the memory of Luna shouting three pony shaped dents into the walls of his hospital room, and the feeling of Celestia returning his hug and nuzzle with gusto. Though given his positioning within the confines of these mares’ fluffy embrace, he couldn’t quite make out the shit eating grin Luna was currently shooting Celestia, or the bemused glare Celestia was giving back to her.

“It amazes me how forgiving you can be,” Celestia confessed after another minute or two spent simply wrapped in the human’s arms, reveling in the heat of his hairless skin mingling with the blush dusting her cheeks. A happy whimper and tear threatening slip past her when she felt his silent laughter reverberating in his chest.

‘It’s not forgiveness if the other party has offered me no offense.’ He explained as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. ‘Yes, you are a Princess, but I can't expect you to control how your subjects act around me.’

“But still, after what you sacrificed for our little ponies, to think somepony would have the… the… sheer unadulterated pillows to accuse you of something so ridiculous or selfish as you choosing to remain shackled like this. It’s… It’s simply beyond reproach!” Celestia declared with a fire and severity that, for the briefest of seconds, reminded him of the pale horse he had met in the pit, staring down at him from her high seat above the Grinder. Whose stony, unwavering gaze had shown neither hesitation or pause when she had condemned him to his death.

Pfffffft!!!

Luckily, before Matthias could fall too far back down into the mines, Luna’s barely contained cackling caught his and Celestia’s attention.

“P-pillows? Sister please, We believe the proper nomenclature for such gall is tits,” Luna chortled, causing Celestia to pale and Matthias to double over wheezing.

“L-Luna?!” Celestia gasped, “W-who in Equestria taught you that?!”

“Hee hee we’re going to be introducing friend May to her within the hour,” Luna answered smugly at having gotten one over on her sister so decisively.

Celestia gave her baby sister a scowl that demonstrated she was questioning every decision she had made in her life that had led her to this point. But when she looked over to Matthias and saw how the remaining tension he’d been carrying since they’d left the castle had all but fled, her features softened, and a weight it felt like she’d been bearing for weeks seemed to lessen, if only by the slightest degree.

“Still, I may have to have a discussion with my former student about the curriculum she has put together for you Lulu.” She warned teasingly before bumping her sister's hip with her own, “Harmony forbid she puts any more funny ideas inside either of your heads.”

“W-was that not the proper context?” Luna asked, suddenly finding her confidence wavering. At least, until she felt Matthias wrap his arm around her shoulders and pull her closer into him.

‘It was,’ Matthias assured her before letting her go and running his hand along her back, causing the princess’ wings to flare for a second and her tail to swish happily, and once more causing Celestia to raise her eyebrow. ‘Though where I’m from we usually use it in the context of not having the “balls” to do something. And don't you worry Tia, I've already got plenty of funny ideas running around in here,’ he said before tapping at the side of his head. ‘So what's a few more to worry about?’

Celestia would have continued to push, wanting maybe just a little more clarification on what he meant by “funny ideas,” or press him to open up some more about his homeland and its sayings.

But then Matthias smiled at her.

And it wasn't some subdued little thing either.

No, it was unabashedly toothy and innocent. Without any fear of her or worry hidden behind it whatsoever. Add to it the creeping blush spreading across her muzzle at the little pet name he had given her, and she couldn’t help but join in on his and her sister’s grinning and giggling. Finding it immensely relieving to have the strange alien not be afraid to be himself around her, and refreshing to be around somepony who wasn’t afraid to be somewhat crass with her either.

“What manner of balls do you speak of friend May,” Luna finally asked after the trio had finally composed themselves. “And in what way do they equate to lacking the mammaries necessary to follow through with something?”

Now it was Matthias’ turn to blush and reel, clearly not expecting to be giving a course on anatomy this evening as he started fidgeting with his quill. Starting up several different attempts at trying to explain the parallel, only to wind up staining the sky around him with starlit ink.

“Heh heh I believe Sir May is referring to his testicles,” Celestia explained with all the precision and subtlety of mace upside the face, having decided to offer the poor creature some mercy. Although, she nearly doubled over at the sight of his and her sister's cheeks simultaneously coloring, though Starry made no such attempts at curtailing her rambunctious guffaws from her perch on the roof across from them.

So with all their anxieties having been quashed for the moment, and with all their blushes having finally evened out, the trio and their shadow resumed their trek towards The Royal Canterlot Library. Where they had planned on meeting up with Luna’s teacher for her weekly How to Talk to Ponies Without Blowing Their Eardrums Out lesson.

It had been during one their many lunch dates in the infirmary together that Celestia let it slip that Luna had been working with her former student to make up for, what she jokingly referred to as, "lost time." And after convincing Luna not to reenact the end of X-Men #59 on her sister later that night, The Lunar Diarch had gone on to explain that, for the longest while, she had been working to try and form a more tight-knit bond with her subjects so as not to feel as much like a third wheel as she already did. However, between the hours she worked, and given how much time she kept herself locked away in the castle, patrolling the dreams of the Equestrian citizenry (a concept Matthias was still having trouble wrapping his head around if not believing outright). She had fallen somewhat out of touch with the comings and goings of her little ponies’ everyday lives.

As such, her fellow princess, the only one he hadn’t been formally introduced to yet, aside from the Crystal Princess’ daughter, of course. Had taken it upon herself to help guide Luna through the complicated, and oftentimes convoluted, patchwork of informal social cues and signs that went into something as seemingly simple as an evening on the town, or a chat amongst friends.

Leading her through the odd assortment of paces and steps needed for her to hold a conversation without sounding like she was either Venom or living in an Ayn Rand dystopia by taking her out to the various cafes, diners, and parks still open after the sun had gone down. Where she wouldn’t just be able to see such interactions happening in real time and in person (in… pony?), but give her the opportunity to interact with her subjects in a less formal setting, and let them see her in a less formal light as well.

However, with Matthias having accepted their invitation to join them for tonight's tutoring session. Everypony agreed it'd be best to move this week's lesson to someplace a little less crowded and little more curtailed to the human's interests, in an effort to better put him at ease in spite of Matthias’ protests to the contrary. As well as push it back to a time a little bit later in the evening when the streets around the castle wouldn't be quite as crowded, and the chances of some random pony stumbling upon Luna's lesson wouldn’t be quite as high.

Which was why as they passed through the castle’s looming gates, its golden portcullis and drawbridge remaining open and lowered respectively in a symbolic gesture of openness and trust between the crown and her subjects, and stepped into the streets of Canterlot proper. They found almost zero ponies milling about, save for the occasional troop of patrol ponies making their rounds and the odd group of bat pony tourists posing for photos.

But still, even with the library being barely a block away from the castle’s main gate, and with the route they had planned on using avoiding any of the residential or high trafficked areas in the city. The princesses still made sure to encase themselves in a veil of glamor to appear as simple civilians to those who were not aware of the effect and throw the most massive cloak and cowl they could get their hands on over Matthias in an attempt to pass him off as an extremely lanky earth pony.

And yet, in spite of the near-empty streets all around them, and with one his most staunch and stalwart defenders all but hanging off of his arm. Matthias once again found himself beginning to tense up and shake, barely able to bring himself to look up at the gilded marble buildings all around him as they shone in Luna’s moonlight. The sudden loss of the familiar stone walls and vaulted ceilings leaving him feeling more exposed and vulnerable than that time the stone-faced mare had left an indent of her fist in his cheek. But almost instantly, he felt his shudders halted by a velvet soft hand gripping his own and a downy wing fall across his shoulder, pulling him into a firm but gentle hug.

Peering down at the likely culprit, Matthias found Luna looking up at him, her eyes shining like the diamonds in her sky as a nervous, but expectant smile pulled at her lips. Throwing a silver questions mark her way, she quickly glanced down at his chest and nudged his arm up slightly, almost as if she were asking him to lift it for her. Taking the hint, he started moving his arm out of the way, only for Luna to all but throw herself into his chest once she had enough space to work with, doing everything she could to try and press as much of her tiny frame into him as equinely possible.

“It’s okay,” Luna cooed to him as she started tracing her cheek up and down his chest, giggling lightly as she felt his heartbeat pick up through both the thin fabric of his t-shirt and the worn away skin running along his abdomen. “Thou art holding thyself up most admirably. However, shouldst thou find thyself in need of our support, know that We are always here for thee,” she assured him before wrapping her arms around his side and giving him a steadying squeeze.

Causing any sense of relief or comfort her words might have left him with to be all but whited-out as he felt the Night Princess’ ample chest press into him.

Which wouldn't have been so bad, seeing as the princesses had decided to dress down for the more casual and laid back atmosphere this evening’s lesson was supposed to entail. However, even the simplest dresses they had in their wardrobes, when draped across their lovely, one might even dare say royal, figures, was more than enough to turn every head, and silence every conversation, in whatever room they had happened to walk into at the time.

For Celestia, she had chosen to forgo her immaculately fitting business casual wear. Claiming that should she dress in anything less than her standard court attire to their little outing, then they’d be spending the first hour or so of their meeting trying to keep her former student from hyperventilating.

Choosing instead to go with a simple, though no less luxurious, white and gold trimmed backless maxi evening gown, a large, golden sun emblazoned on the cloth over her left hip. Although the lack of a back was more for function than form, given the giant, fluffy white angel wings sprouting from beneath her shoulders. With any bare, or suggestive swathes of skin (or coat as it were) concealed by sleeves more at home on an arch mage's robes, and a modest shroud hung over her chest and shoulders, her peytral serving as its clasp.

However, the sheer black bodycon currently clinging to Luna like a freshman during a slow dance left all but nothing to the imagination.

Oh, by no means was it anything trampy or in poor taste. Seeing as the dress’ top half barely showed off any more fur than Celestia’s, save for some openings running from her shoulders down to her elbows, exposing her taught navy blue triceps. While the dress’ hem—though slit up the sides as it was—was more hanging off the Lunar Diarch’s waist than plastered to it as it drifted along the same ethereal breeze her mane and tail seemed to be caught on. The ebony cloth billowing just high enough so as to avoid getting dragged along the ground while hanging just low enough to keep all the essentials covered.

But dammit if what was covered wasn’t covered up beautifully!

What with the silken fabric hugging her subtle curves and contours like a second skin, all while somehow drawing the attention of any onlooker up to her cute little face rather than her chest or waist. An impressive feat, given the sheer amount of leg and thigh exposed by the slit running all the way up from her hooves to her hips. Making any sort of additional evening themed embroidery seem superfluous given that her Cutie Mark was out there in the open for all to see.

Or feel as was Matthias’ case, seeing as Luna’s waist was all but glued to his as they circled the castle’s outer wall, giving him no choice but to revel in the sensation of her near bare leg's cloud-soft fur brushing against his own with each step they took. Causing him to wonder briefly, as they ducked down a darkened side street, her arms still wrapped around his torso from her earlier glomp, if she might be doing all this on purpose.

But that would just be silly, he thought to himself, even though he had already leaned down and was nuzzling his cheek against the first fuzzy blue ear he could reach.

She’s barely known me a month, and what self-respecting monarch of the night would lower herself to throw a pity fuck out to the goddamn alien monkey man? Could be she just doesn’t realize what she’s doing. After all, she had no problem letting me put my hands all over her the night we first met and vice versa. But would they seriously put some… pony (dammit that’s not going to get any less annoying any time soon) in charge of the fucking moon and stars if they weren’t even aware of when they were putting the moves on somebody?

Not that I’m complaining or anything! She’s as soft as fleece fresh out the fucking dryer, and as warm to boot. And has enough respect for me to only touch me when she knows I want or need a cuddle. Heh, and to think, once upon a time I would have given my left nut to have somebody hold me the way Luna’s holding me now. Granted I was passing a kidney stone at the time, so I would’ve probably given it for a Kit Kat or Klondike Bar if given the chance.

But now, now I’m just glad I’ve reached that point in my life where I can appreciate a pretty girl not throwing herself all over me like I was an overgrown body pillow. Granted, some might think twenty-eight's a but too young for such thoughts, but I betcha they never had that choice taken away from them. Never lost the right to their own goddam body and were passed around every other day like a fucking fl-

“Tell us, dear May, what does thou maketh of our sky this evening?” Luna asked in a tone both aloof yet hopeful, catching Matthias just as he was about to teeter over the edge again. Looking back down at the little blue alicorn, Matthias saw Luna smiling at him warmly, her head tilted cutely to the side to try and better meet his gaze. Which made Matthias release the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding in a string of quiet cackles, and ease up the near death grip he had on her hand, given how corgi video on Youtube cute she looked at the moment.

But those giggles were quickly cut off when he felt Luna's hand tighten around his to keep him from slipping away, her fingers moving to interlace with his own. Whatever questions he might have had concerning her possible naivete all but crushed when her smile flashed from curious to knowing before she quickly nuzzled his nose with the tip of her muzzle. Causing his return nuzzle to be a little extra warm and fervent as he tried with all his might to express to her how grateful he was for her catching him.

The remainder of their trek towards the library remained uneventful as they continued to hug the shadows and sidestreets. With Celestia and Luna filling Matthias in on some of the logistics of how their respective spheres operated. Such as their relative sizes and distance from the planet. How, in spite of their ability to freely manipulate the skies as they saw fit, they still needed the aid and council of the various farming bureaus and weather managers serving under them in order to best maximize the benefit of the lights they brought to Equestria. And how the seasons and equinoxes worked given the ponies free reign over both sun and star and wind and weather.

To which Matthias did his best to try and throw in his two cents. Drawing upon whatever parallel bits of terran physics and astronomy he thought would be most applicable to the given topic. As well as detail, as best he could, how weather and orbits could possibly function so orderly without any apparent guiding force to back them. All the while making sure to steer clear of any subjects which would require a three credit hour course to sufficiently explain, or make the tiny blue fuzzball snuggled up against him tense or shake.

Choosing not to press Celestia about the traditional role the solstices served and drop the tangent he’d been going on about the comparative sizes of their worlds’ respective satellites so he could get a better explanation of how exactly one “makes” weather and how tides and gravity worked here. Much to the appreciation of Luna, who after the fourth such topic shift and a knowing smile of his own, had cottoned on to what Matthias was up to.

Banking on the centuries of discipline and facial control she had accrued from having to smile and nod and play nice with the old clans and families to keep her from either tearing up or jumping her human friend where he stood. Deciding just to nuzzle him that much harder instead, and wrap her tail around his leg. Keeping the billowing blue appendage affectionately affixed to him until they had all but tripped over the steps leading up to the Canterlot Library.

The Royal Athenaeum was done up in a similar neoclassical style as that of the Capitol Building back in D.C. Having both a sheer rectangular terrace almost twice as tall as Matthias serving as its base and entryway, as well as an architectural layout nearly identical to that of its counterpart in the States. With a pair of sculpted stone unicorns dressed in mage’s garbs flanking the stairway’s entrance, each holding a flickering sky blue flame aloft in one of their outstretched hands.

However, rather than a white-marble exterior and collonade-esque dome at its center, the brickwork of the library was a pale purple and interspersed with two-story tall cathedral-style windows. While its central cupola looked to be made up of hundreds of diamond cut panes of glass, interlocked and pieced together within a framework of gigantic, golden arches, forming a massive, rounded casement that would help to pull in even more light from the outside.

Seems to be a common feature of pony architecture, Matthias noted as he and the princesses crossed beneath the library's rampart-esque awning and pushed open its grand golden doors. Handing the reins over to his more analytical side so as not to worry himself into another hole over how Celestia's student, or any other pony who happened to be hitting the books at this hour, would react to him. Makes sense though, seeing as they haven't quite stumbled upon electrodynamics yet.

But by either good fortune or planning, the lobby appeared devoid of any tiny equines burning the midnight oil cramming for finals or finishing end of term projects. With just an empty receptionist’s station, a stack of returned books waiting to be sorted, and an overstuffed, though no less organized, bulletin board highlighting the various functions the library would soon be hosting (including one depicting Celestia reading to a bunch of little colts and fillies) there to greet them.

However, even with their disguises still intact, and with the later hour they had chosen for their little get-together, the princesses decided not to dally and risk exposing themselves, or their friend, to any prying eyes. Hurrying Matthias up the first winding staircase they came across to try and get him out of the open, and into the room they had rented out for Luna's lesson, as quickly as possible.

Fortunately for Matthias though, they were still somewhat early, and the spiraling stairwell’s banister offered them a fair amount of cover as they made their way up to the third floor, so quickly as possible was really little more than a hurried amble. Giving him plenty of time to slow down and trace the layout of the atrium beneath them in an effort to better keep himself composed.

His eyes following the patterns formed by the aisles and interlocking shelves, until they converged around a spacious lounge and study area. Set up with all manner of desk, table, and comfy looking chair to help aid any bookish little pony in their research or studying, as well as a gigantic, ornate hourglass, nearly twice the size of the princesses, standing at its center keeping the time. Its gold trim and silver sand reflecting the soft glow of Luna’s night across the room. With any shadows or darkened patches of books or carpet illuminated by the lights of the crystal lamps adorning the desks, and hanging lanterns strung from the ceiling filled with little glowing insects they called twittermites.

But why would they need to, he realized suddenly, smiling in a spirit of childlike wonder and glee as he watched the cute little buggers slowly float about inside their crystal case like globs of silver wax in a lava lamp. Given how bright the days and nights burn here, and the fact that they've got literal lightning bugs. There’d be no demand pushing for the development of technologies to meet a need that’s already been met. Although, it makes you wonder if a handful of woodchips is enough to keep a dozen of these guys sparking and burning all day and night. What kind of output could they possibly generate given a whole tree and a few thou-

“Are you ready, Sir May?” Came the soft sound of Celestia’s sonorous voice floating down from atop the stairwell. Causing Matthias to reel as he was suddenly ripped back to reality after having gotten a bit too lost in trying to determine the best application for electricity in Equestria outside of heating and lighting. Finding only a half-dozen steps, two pony princesses, and an intricately carved door now standing between him and somepony whom his friends had promised would not only be able to help get him talking again. But help him understand, if but a bit better, what was going on in this crazy new world he was living in for the moment.

‘I *sigh* I think so,’ Matthias assured them shakily after taking a couple more calming breaths. Cursing himself beneath muted breaths for still trembling like a beaten dog in spite of the princess’ pledges that he'd be safe and accepted by this new mare.

“We still have a couple minutes before the midnight hour strikes, friend May. There is no need to rush if thou are still unsure?” Luna promised him with a quick squeeze of her hand. Bolstering his resolve and burying his returning tension in the process.

‘No, no, I'm… I'm ready,’ he promised. ‘But, if we’re still a bit early, could you maybe give me a rundown of what to expect from this mare. You know, so I don’t wind up making a total ass out of myself.’

“In what way would being ill-prepared for meeting dearest Twilight make thee a donkey?” asked Luna with all the innocence and naivete of a 4-year-old questioning what was wrong with saying ‘suck it.'

“He means making a flank out of himself, Lu,” Celestia explained while giving her baby sister another friendly hip check, giggling happily at her sister’s scowl and Matthias’ excitable applause at having sussed out what he was getting at.

“So We see, ‘tis actually a most fitting analogy, in retrospect,” she pondered briefly before cocking her tail back and cracking it against her sister’s shapely rear. Momentarily filling the empty stairwell with the echoes of a sharp impact and a stifled, though no less startled, *eep* from the Solar Diarch. “Well, given how our teacher has been chomping at the bit hard enough for her molars to have cracked to finally get the chance to speak with thee, I’ve no doubt that there are to be some questions she has for you.”

“A lot of questions,” Celestia chimed in, echoing her sister’s sentiments as she tended to her flogged flank. “Some basic, some personal, some very personal.”

“Indeed, just know that she means thee neither harm nor disrespect by them. For they are simply an honest endeavor to better understand and know thee.”

“Also, though her title may suggest she be the ultimate authority when it comes to all matters interpersonal between ponies and others. Remember that she herself is still learning the nuances and intricacies of these relationships, much as we are still learning and trying to understand you and your ways. So be sure to show her some patience should she accidentally cross a line you are not comfortable with, just as she will show you should you step over any bounds you did not see.”

“Oh, and definitely expect a hug or two to be coming your way! We know that thou can still be put off by the touch of another, but after hearing what thou hath been through, and given the growing concern she has been showing for thee in her last few letters. She may have trouble holding herself back when she lays eyes upon thee.”

‘So, be prepared for questions and cuddles rather than screams and beams,’ he wrote out nervously, garnering some mirthy chuckles from the mares escorting him, their melodious giggling the final push needed to loosen the corded nerves tying his stomach into knots. Releasing all his pent-up dread in bursts of white-hot sparks of anxious anticipation that flew through his veins.

‘Thanks again you guys.’ he wrote with a relieved sigh, taking one last bracing breath before writing out that he was ready to go.

To which Luna all but squeed as she took his hand and pulled him up the last few steps. Once more forcing Celestia to titter excitably at both her sister's antics and elation. Only for Matthias to then nervously extend a hand to her as well, causing her girlish giggling to get caught in her throat and her tail to swish about uncontrollably as her fingers wrapped around his.

Giving his hand a reassuring, even grateful squeeze as she pulled open the door and led them into the library's domed observatory.

The room was all of three stories tall at its apex, with the bottom two stories dedicated to various lofts and violet stained bookshelves that wrapped their way around the room's perimeter. Broken occasionally by gaps in the cases wide enough to form makeshift frames for the interlocking panes of glass that made up the dome. Giving anypony with the proper approvals to use the space an all but unobstructed, panoramic view of the surrounding city.

But before Matthias could rush over and gaze upon the view he had denied himself earlier of Canterlot glittering in the light of Luna's moon, a hesitation and tension in the mares holding his hands gave him pause.

Swiveling his head between his escorts, Matthias found all manner of confusion and concern plastered on their muzzles, as if there was something fundamentally wrong with the empty chamber before them.

“S-sister?” Luna asked worriedly to Celestia, her focus jumping frantically between Matthias and the position of the moon. “Did… did we not reschedule this evening’s lesson to midnight?”

“Indeed we did,” Celestia affirmed before breaking away from Matthias to go and scrutinize the giant hourglass standing in the center of the room, its size and level of intricacy nearly identical to that of the one in the common area below.

“Could… could it be the impossible has finally come to pass?” Luna questioned as she splayed her ears and bowed her head sedately.

“I'm afraid so sister, ‘tis a most solemn day for Equestria indeed,” Celestia answered with all the somber seriousness of a CO explaining to a mare why her husband wasn’t coming home.

‘What's going on!? Is she alright!?’ Matthias penned out in mounting panic, his growing unease and worry leaving him blind to the impish smirks adorning the sisters’ muzzles.

“Oh, ‘tis nothing to worry yourself over, Sir May,” Celestia promised, her previous mischief fizzling out at the sight of Matthias’ genuine concern for her missing student. “It appears as though my former pupil is simply-”

“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII’M-”

‘Do you all hear that?’ Matthias asked, his dread suddenly doubling as Flight began scoping out the room for possible escape routes, while Fight started weighing the combat effectiveness of the quills and books on the nearby desk.

“SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-”

“Sister? Do you think that is-”

“I believe it is, yes,” Celestia affirmed with a relieved and puckish smile before pulling a pair of honest to god army helmets out of her sleeves and plopping one on each of their heads.

“BUUUUUUUCKKIIING-”

‘What? What is i-’

*BANG*

“LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!!!”

The first thing Matthias saw, as he turned towards the source of the strange voice and crash echoing throughout the room, was an avalanche of books and tomes churning about rapidly in a field of magenta magic, raining down on him through a thrown open partition up near the dome's crystal ceiling.

Fortunately for the shell-shocked little human, none of the hefty looking hardbacks or high-speed reams of loose-leaf came anywhere close to striking him. As, thankfully, some soft and fuzzy little... something had barrelled into his chest first, with enough force, mind you, to both knock the wind out of him. Causing the world around him to go white and spotty for a moment, yet leaving it, strangely enough, smelling of dried ink and spice, as well as knock his bony white ass to the floor.

Not unlike getting walloped in the gut by an extra squishy Tempurpedic pillow at one of his friend’s overly rowdy sleepovers growing up. As the plushy little whatever-it-was had even managed to perfectly angle its trajectory so that it stuck its landing on that one special spot between his diaphragm and belly-button which, when pressed just right, would cause anything he had eaten in the last three hours to come up whether he wanted it to or not.

However, unlike his friend’s eleventh birthday party, he was able to keep the biscuits and gravy Starry had appropriated for his dinner from spewing all over the papers and books now littering him and the sheer blue carpet beneath him. Having somehow managed to wind up both on his back and buried up to his nose in stationary in the time it had taken for his vision to clear up, and the world to stop spinning. His new blanket of beige pages covering his face all but completely while diluting what little light the mites and stars provided down to a few burning points of silver that cut between the haphazardly stacked books and papers. Though unfortunately, they did little to muffle the blaring bells still ringing in his ears, or the panicked pleas of some new mare, who had apparently decided his rib cage would be the perfect place for her to genuflect before her diarchs and desperately beg their forgiveness:

“Omigosh! Omigosh! Omigosh! I’m so sorry your maj-, I mean Prin-, I mean g-girls?!” came a trembling though no less silvered voice floating down from beyond the paper veil enshrouding Matthias. But between the shivers racking both her and Matthias’ bodies and the rapid-fire swishing of her tail against his legs, he couldn’t quite tell if the quiver in her delivery was out of fear or out of excitement.

“It’s alright Twilight,” he heard Celestia say to the no longer mystery mare. Causing the formerly belated princess to start fidgeting atop Matthias, almost in an effort to make herself more comfortable. “Just breathe. Remember, this is a safe place you made where we are free to make mistakes without anypony, including us, passing judgment.”

“Indeed, though hath only missed our appointment’s start by but a minute and a half, so no damage hath been dealt which cannot be mitigated in just as quick a time,” he heard Luna promise as he felt the papers surrounding him began to shift and fall. The shuffling sheets only settling once he felt a couple of her fuzzy blue fingers brush against his hand and lace with his own, before giving it a couple quick squeezes. To which he reciprocated with a quick grip of his own, letting her know he was alright.

“Hee hee Yeah, you’re right. Sorry everpony, it’s just… even after getting a head start on the syllabus for Mateus and pulling all the appropriate reference materials I could find for him yesterday afternoon. I still managed to lose track of time double checking the list of possible pronunciations for his name I started last month, and wound up missing the 8:10 to Canterlot and had to wait almost an hour and twenty minutes for the next train. Then, when we were only fifteen miles out of Ponyville, the conductor spotted an Ursa playing on the outskirts of the Everfree, so we had to stop for nearly an hour until it moved on lest we draw it towards us or Canterlot. And if that wasn't enough, when we finally did make it to Canterlot, the Primrose enchantment I’d placed on my bag threw off the coordinates for my jump just enough to land me smack in the middle of the fountain in Canterlot Square. And I didn't have nearly enough time after drying myself off to calc the bag's extra-dimensional mass into my next port. So I tried emptying it a bit to try and make it somewhat more manageable, but then I forgot to take into account the actual mass of the books I was carrying so I wound up in the fountain again! So after saving the books and casting the drying spell a second time, I decided, ‘to Tartarus with this!’ and just winged it the rest of the way here."

“And here I thought George and Lennie couldn't catch a break,” Matthias thought. Impressed that the mare on top of him had not only managed to make it here relatively on time in spite of all… that happening to her. But by the sheer fact that she’d managed to get through that entire diatribe without once having to pause to catch her breath.

However, as much as he would’ve liked to sit up and introduce himself and tell her that she shouldn’t be so hard on herself since they themselves had only just gotten here, and ask her if she might scooch back a bit so he could catch his breath a bit better.

When he tried to pick himself up off the ground, Luna’s grip on him tightened, holding him in place before Twilight could notice. Followed by a giggle so low and deep in the Night Princess’ chest, that Matthias felt it more than he heard it.

But before he could begin to write, sign, or in any way communicate a ‘what the hell is going on’ to her. He heard the mare parked atop him inhale deeply, unintentionally pushing a bit more of her plushy plot into his abdomen in the process, and continue with her spiel, as she apparently needed to get a bit more off of her chest before introductions were in order:

“But as per bu- *ahem* I mean, as per usual, I was just making mountains out of molehills again since I still somehow managed to make it here before the guest of honor. So, uh while we wait… do heh heh do you think you could maybe, possibly help-me-get-this-mess-cleaned-up-before-he-gets-here-with-Captain-Night? And, if it’s not too much trouble, could you maybe help me practice with a couple of the pronunciations I came up with? I saw how you all cringed when I said, ‘Mateus,’ so I take it you’ve already run that one by him without any luck?”

“That we have, Twilight,” Celestia affirmed with barely contained mirth and merriment dripping from her words. “It was actually one of the first we tried once we were able to establish a better means of communicating with.”

“‘Tis true, dearest Twilight. Verily, we have tried all manner of derivative and deviation on the letters he has given us, and we have yet to find one that has met his criteria.” Luna explained while running her thumb along the top of his hand in a soothing gesture. One Matthias sought to reciprocate by weaving his fingers with her own. “But thou shouldn’t fret too heartily on the subject. He has agreed that until such a time as we can find a proper pronunciation, that we as his friends can simply call him May.”

“I… I know, but I haven't even met him yet, and… and after everything he’s been through, and after all he’s done for us-”

Wait… us?!

“ I just… I just wanted to do something for him that’ll show him how serious I am about wanting to get to know him better and wanting to be his friend. And… and you know how important making a good first impression is and all?” The mare asked, causing Luna’s hold on him to tighten for some reason.

“Pfft Rest hmm hmm Rest assured Twilight, I believe you have already succeeded in that endeavor most handily.” Celestia chortled, her composure having all but shattered for reasons Matthias couldn’t be sure of, covered in both papers and pony as he was.

“R-Really, but how could I have-”

“Because by now, thou hast surely left a most indelible impression of thine flanks in friend May’s sternum,” Luna explained jovially before ringing her horn to life and parting the portion of papers covering Matthias’ face like some sort of pencil-pushing Moses. The sudden shift from near pitch beige to the soft, silver light of Luna’s night enough to all but blind him for a moment, revealing a purple, blushing alicorn trembling atop him as she straddled his stomach once his eyes had sufficiently adjusted.

Like most of the pint-sized pony women he’d been forced to interact with during his short time in the castle, this lavender mare was diabetes-inducingly cute. What with her adorable little muzzle, her vibrant violet eyes burning bright in the light of the dimly lit chamber, and those perky purple ears of hers that couldn’t decide whether they wanted to stay up or stay splayed against the dual-toned violet blue and magenta mane falling down to the mid of her back and all.

While the simple schoolgirl’s uniform she had chosen for this evening’s little get together, an indigo button-up blouse over a white undershirt and red tie with a matching knee-length skirt, imparted a sort of bookish charm to the mare. Making her come off as more of a straight-laced student than a magical headmistress.

However, unlike all those other mares, who always seemed to tense up like they were either gonna start brawling or crawling away with their tails tucked between their legs whenever he got near. There was a softness to Twilight, as in spite of the nervous shaking rattling her frame, and the way her sleek purple wings kept twitching. She wasn't shrinking in on herself or cocking back her fist. But rather, she seemed to be studying him, her previous dread concerning her socio-temporal faux pas, as well as their current arrangement above and below each other respectively, having been forgotten as she started soaking him in. Appearing to read and scrutinize every aspect of his being as if she'd just opened him up with Heaven's Door.

Causing Matthias to wilt somewhat beneath the purple alicorn's gaze and avert his eyes. As aside from having some rather unpleasant associations with Rohan Kishibe's introduction in part four, he hadn't quite developed a reliable gauge by which to measure a pony’s current state of mind. Making it all but impossible for him to predict how this mare was going react once she'd finished dissecting him with her eyes, and had realized just where she was sitting.

Bracing himself for the inevitable deafening scream, stinging slap across what was left of his cheek, or blast of-

"C-can I hug you... please?”

Or nervous begging for a cuddle? Matthias thought in both shock in confusion as his eyes snapped back to hers. Finding them pooling with unshed tears which made them glimmer all the more brightly against the backdrop of Luna’s night.

Pushing himself off of the floor and into a sitting position, sliding Twilight off his chest and onto his waist in the process, he shot Luna and Celestia a questioning glance, hoping they could give him some hint as to how to deal with the mare in his lap getting ready to bawl her eyes out. Only for any hope of a reprieve to be dashed like a cat being swung repeatedly upside a carpet when all he saw was Celestia doing her best to stifle her chuckles. And Luna, who had taken a step back to get a better view of the show with her sister, bouncing up and down giddily, her hands clenched against her chest in unbridled excitement. While all he got out of Starry, once he’d finally managed to spot her peeking out from one of the rafters above them, was a thumbs up and a roll of her wrist.

So, with no help coming from either his bodyguard or his royal procession, and with the plushy purple princess looking up at him hopefully, Matthias quickly began looking for a reason why he wouldn’t want the tiny little alicorn to hug him and if this was something he really wanted. Seeing as he was still having just the teensiest bit of trouble learning to say, “no,” again without worrying about of hundreds of rusted metal teeth closing around his windpipe, or twenty rabid goblin-dogs ready and eager to jump him and put him back in his place over and over and ov-

“I-It’s alright,” came the frailest little whimper Matthias had ever heard from the pony in his lap as she pulled herself off his waist and took a seat in front of him. Her ears having been beaten flat against her skull beneath both his silence and hesitation. “We… we haven’t really gotten a chance to get to know each other yet, and Luna’s told me that you’re still a bit wary around new ponies.

“B-but like I said earlier! I really do want to learn more about you and hope to be somepony you can rely on and maybe call a friend someday. So… so if there’s anything I can do to help put you at ease or show you how serious I am about wanting to help you, please don’t be afraid to ask!” Twilight explained as her wilting posture suddenly sprang back with renewed vigor and determination. However, what little fire she had burning behind her eyes quickly died out when she realized she’d just said, “I-I-I-I-I mean obviously don’t force yourself to speak! I know there’s an auditory component to your collar’s enchantment and I wouldn’t want you hurting yourself or anything.

“So, uh… here! I brought these for you just in case you had anything you wanted to tell me or let me know!” she said as she began wrapping assorted notebooks, inkwells, and quills in her magenta magic before presenting them to Matthias. Only for the field she had spawned to pop like a soap bubble once they got too close to the human, once more making it rain books and office supplies. Forcing Matthias to pull her under him lest she get a hardback stuck on her horn.

“Ow, so heh heh I guess heh I guess magic really doesn’t- Oh… Oh, no! Are you alright? Did any hit you? Here let me just-” But before Twilight could reach up to cup his cheeks and examine his head, a pair of hairless hands caught her at the wrists, causing her to freeze in a panic and everypony else in the room to hold their breath.

“hmmm hmmm hmmm”

And that's when they heard it. A sound so low and strained, yet oh so full of mirth, that if they weren't right there next to him to see him smile, or had freaking bat ears, they never would’ve caught it.

*SCRREEEEE*

But there was absolutely no missing or mistaking the horrid sound of metal scraping against metal as the collar's jagged teeth began ripping into his throat.

“May!”

“No!”

“Bucking Tartarus!”

“Please, May don't-”

But before Starry or the sisters could rush to his aid, and before Twilight could finish charging the spell she was gonna use to blow the damned thing off his neck. Matthias held up a hand and threw them a pained, teary-eyed smile to let them know he was fine, and that it would pass, causing everypony to hold. Though it took every ounce of Celestia’s earth pony might to try and stifle her sister's shaking, and every bit of self-discipline Starry had picked up in the guard to keep her from leaving her post once the smell of blood and iron had wafted up to her.

Seconds ticked by with all the hurried pace of a glacier carving out a valley. The grating sound of the collar's churning blades tearing into the mares’ nerves, not unlike the teeth digging into Matthias’ throat. But much to the relief of everybody present, the shrill noise began to die down, what with Matthias having closed his eyes and exhaled immediately upon feeling his shackle awake. Leaving him without any distraction, nor anything with which to scream with once the collar started doing its job. And sans any further sounds to perpetuate the infernal devices mechanisms, all it could do was retract its blades and stand vigilant for the next time its wearer would weaken and break the hallowed silence its makers craved.

It also helped that he’d been given a pair of soft, but strong hands to hold onto as the collar worked its malignant magics on him. Hands which held firm in spite of Matthias clenching his own around them in a near death grip. Hands which went so far as to try and massage away his suffering with gentle rubs and caresses that, though unneeded, were most definitely welcome. As it let Matthias know someone was there for him, that he wasn't alone, and that they wished to comfort him.

So with it safe for him to breathe again without the fear of accidentally setting off his collar once more, Matthias took one long inhale and exhaled before opening his eyes again. Half expecting to find Luna or Starry by his side, seeing as they were usually the first mares to go momma bear on him whenever something or someone threatened whatever peace of mind he’d managed to scrape together for the day. Only for those emerald eyes of his to nearly bug out of his head when he found Twilight straddling his waist again as she held onto him for dear life. The tears that had been threatening to spill earlier running down her cheeks unabashedly as she stared up at him.

Causing Matthias to panic, fear welling up inside of him that he was not only hurting this little pony but showing her his worst when this night was supposed to about everybody putting their best foot, or… hoof, forward. So he tried to pull his hand away, hoping he could salvage this little get together before he imprinted too harshly on her that all he was was a problem in need of fixing.

But Twilight wouldn’t let him leave.

She held fast to him, her eyes never wavering in spite of the tears running rivulets through the thin coat on her cheek. And though it looked like she wanted nothing more than to just throw her arms around him and do that cheek rubbing thing Luna always seemed to get a kick out of. She kept a respectable distance, well, as respectable as was possible sitting in his lap as she was. Doing nothing but reign in her breathing and divide her gaze as she studied both what was left of his face and the shackle around his neck.

“A-are you alright?” she asked once her shaking had all but ceased and her breathing had finished evening out. To which Matthias affirmed with a couple quick nods of his head, unable, and unwilling, to let go of her hands to reach for his quill. Although he did ease up on the squeezing a bit, shooting her an apologetic and guilty look as he gingerly rubbed at the marks he had left on her.

“It’s okay,” Twilight assured him soothingly, once more beginning to trace her thumbs along the tops of his hands. “You… you didn’t hurt me, and… *sniff* and I’m not afraid of you. There’s no way I could ever be afraid of you! So… listen, I know this has been a little bit backwards, and is not normally how ponies go about introducing each other, but… but do you think I can try again?” she asked nervously before finally breaking her grip on him, only to offer her hand back to him:

“Hello, I’m Twilight Sparkle, and I’d very much like the chance to help you, and possibly get to know you better, please?”

Matthias wasn’t sure what it was about her plea that had lined up all his previous apprehensions before kicking them to their knees and emptying a round in their skulls.

Was it the nervous, yet still cookies fresh out the oven warm smile she was giving him?

Those gleaming, oversized amethyst eyes of hers, shining bright in the wake of her tears.

That tilted head and those perked up ears of hers which made impossible for him not to dawww internally.

Even the happy swishing of her tail and excited flaring of her wings reminded him of how Luna and Starry would act just before glomping the fuck out him, or Celestia after a particularly rigorous unguilting session.

Gonna need to have a serious chat with that mare soon, he thought as he turned towards the sisters, their muzzles a mixture of relief, and dread and hope, and worry, before shooting them a wink and pulling the quill out from under his shirt. Which strangely made the mare in his lap blush for some reason.

‘Hello Twilight,’ he wrote out both slowly and clearly before flipping it around for the mare to see, ‘I’m May. And I think we could both use a hug right about now.’

It seemed to take the purple princess a second to process both the feather Matthias had been hiding and the letters floating in front of her face. But once the words had finally clicked and fallen into place, there was absolutely no stopping the near ear-shattering *squee* and glomp she’d been trying to hold back since first laying eyes upon him. Quickly throwing her arms over his shoulders before rubbing her warm, wet cheek against the divetted skin running along his own with such intensity that Matthias could even feel the heat of her affections sparking through the burned away nerves lining the molten half of his face. His subsequent blush, plus the sheer warmth coming off the mare, threatening to sear the collar to his skin as he worked his arms around the small of her back, so as to avoid brushing against her wings.

“Hee hee, Dinky and Luna were right, you are warm,” Twilight tittered almost drunkenly after taking a minute to relish in the feel of his bare skin brushing along her coat. The relief and elation at having succeeded in making this strange creature open and up and feel comfortable around her uncording her nerves so quickly it was leaving her lightheaded.

Who’s Di-

“Huzzah!” was the only warning either of them got before Luna threw herself into their little cuddle puddle. Wrapping both her arms and wings around the two of them and squeezing them against her chest tightly. “Is it not as We said? Thou had nothing to fear from one another,” Luna gloated as she pushed her cheeks between the two and began nuzzling them.

“I’d be more inclined to believe you if you weren’t still shaking,” Twilight snarked as she entwined her tail with Luna’s, deepening their embrace and pulling a squeaky little *eep* from the Princess of the Night. Though whether it was from the sudden intimacy, or from Twilight calling her out, Matthias wasn’t sure.

“W-We were not nervous! We are simply excited at witnessing thy first embrace! If anything, We were frustrated at how much time thou were taking, and would have thrown thee into friend May's chest if thou had waited any longer!”

‘You know, I can’t help but notice how often the corner of your left eye twitches whenever you’re trying to skirt around a subject you're not comfortable with,’ Matthias pointed out after managing to wrestle his hand and quill free from the confines of their fluffy prison. Causing Luna to reel:

“W-w-what?! That isn’t-

“I’m afraid Sir May speaks most truly, dear sister,” Celestia affirmed with a chuckle which made Luna pale. “Unless you are finally willing to concede that the net loss of your caramel stash over the years has been because of my superior skills in poker!”

“Then thou finally admits to cheating all this time you conniving wench!!!” Luna screamed in a fury, only for her to freeze when she heard Twilight begin to giggle.

“But if it is truly the case that you have a tell as Celestia and Mate- *cough* I mean, May suggest, then I was right and you were nervous!”

“B-b-b-but-”

‘I guess it just boils down to what you're more willing to admit to, being a bit worried that your snowflake of a friend was gonna melt at meeting someone you obviously think the world of. Or that you just have a shit poker face.’

“Whose side art thou on May?” Luna asked in an odd mix of faux hurt and teasing seriousness. Unable to decide if she should feel betrayed for being exposed so quickly and openly. Or elated at seeing Matthias so at ease after the kind of week he'd had to endure.

‘The one that'll make these three bust a gut quickest,’ Matthias confessed with a broad twirl of his quill once he had finished writing. Highlighting the varying degrees to which her sister, her teacher, and her Captain were about to lose their shit.

With Twilight having turned away and brought her hand up to her mouth to try and hold back her giggles. Making her look the part of a gigantic purple chipmunk in the process.

Her sister though, held no such qualms as she doubled over braying with laughter. Planting her hands on her knees to keep her from going ass over teakettle.

And her Captain of the Guard, ever the picture of stoic professionalism and discipline, had taken to hanging from the rafters by her tail. Her folded wings and crossed arms giving the impression that she had simply dozed off. But given how the muffled shrieks of laughter slipping past her leathery wings were rocking her tiny frame with enough force to get her swinging, Luna doubted that Starry had chosen now of all times to catch up on her beauty sleep.

Thankfully, before Luna could either issue a court-martial or attempt to banish her sister or teacher to the sun, the silver script floating before her eyes suddenly piqued Twilight's curiosity:

“Wait, how would you know of poker’s psychological components? Unless... does your kind have a version of poker as well?”

‘Just the standard draws and studs as well as 2 similar schools of hold ‘em that Luna and Tia showed me a couple weeks back.’

“And if I were to ask if ‘you have any threes?’”

‘I’d say, “go fish.” Why, you up for a game?’

“Yes! No, I mean, maybe later. But don’t you find it just a little bit strange?”

‘Considering I came from a world where magic was a myth and the sun and moon moved on their own, I think it’s safe to say I find everything strange at this point.’ Matthias wrote ruefully as he realized just how ridiculous it was to have to make those points as if they obviously weren’t the case.

“Move on their-”

“Please, dearest Twilight, what is it thou findeth strange?” Luna asked, hoping she could catch her before she lost sight of her initial inquiry.

“Oh, right! Well, from what you and Pri-, I mean Celestia have told me both in letters and in person, May doesn’t just seem to come from some hereto unexplored corner of Equus, but an entirely separate plane of reality,” she asked, cautiously. Only continuing when she got a round of nods from her audience. “Well, doesn’t it strike everypony odd that there are just so many similarities between us?”

“How so?” asked Celestia as she sat down beside them. Snuggling up between her baby sister and Matthias.

“What I mean is that even if we were to ignore the fact that he’s from another world entirely, he’s an entirely new species who just so happens to write, and by extension speak, in the same language as us. Plays and has an understanding of games that are all but identical to ours. He even displays affection in a similar manner to ponies,” she summed up as she went in for another hug, happily pressing her cheek into his before gasping and blushing as she felt him start dragging the right of his face up and down her muzzle.

“And thy point being?” Luna inquired lightly as she moved to nuzzle the cheek Matthias wasn’t tending to, hoping to turn her teacher and friend an even darker shade of purple.

“Th-th-that the sheer amount of similarities and convergences in both the development and evolution of our cultures are far too similar to be mere coincidence and would suggest some manner of cross-cultural contamination at some point in time,” She explained after breaking away from the duo affectionately assaulting her cheeks so she could catch her breath.

“But given both the nature of May’s arrival and how he’s expressed no knowledge of beings such as us in the annals of his world’s histories outside of the cosmetic similarities within the mythologies of specific isolated groups you’ve mentioned in letters. Then the only logical conclusion I can come to is that these cultural consistencies sprung up independently of each other, in spite of their near-identical natures. And I’m sorry, but even I can’t wrap my head around the odds of that actually happening, even though the proof of it is sitting right here, in front of my face.”

“The odds of so many happy coincidences falling into align do seem fairly high all things considered,” Celestia pondered as she recalled both her and her baby sister’s experiences when it came to making first contact, and how a language barrier wasn’t one of the hangups they’d, thankfully, had to dealt with.

“Indeed, the same words, the same feelings, even the same physical make-up as ours so as to survive upon our sphere. Quite frankly, if it weren’t for the… unpleasantness though received upon thy arrival,” Luna surmised, causing everypony to tense and Celestia to wilt momentarily, not knowing how Matthias would react, only to relax when he showed no signs of distress. “We would say thou were the luckiest being between two worlds.”

‘Meh, technically speaking it’s only about a 50/50 chance when everything’s said and done. Or “written” and done in this case,’ Matthias laid out for them, chuckling some at the opportunities for wordplay his condition offered for him. However, those wispy chuckles were choked out when all eyes and ears turned towards him, and all jaws dropped to the floor as if he’d solved a Rubik’s Cube blindfolded and with his feet.

“S-surely thou cannot be serious, May?” Luna decried, the millennia she had spent interacting with the dream logic of millions of her subjects’ nightmares offering her no aid in figuring out what in the unholy Tartarus he was writing about.

‘I am serious, and don’t call me Shirley.’

“But… but… but there’s just no way it can be that simple!” Twilight nearly screamed before Luna could ask him what a Shirley was. “We’re talking about several thousands of years worth of socio-emotional development across two separate planes of existence! How can so many independently occurring instances of convergent customs, concepts, and languages, be boiled down to a simple ‘it did, or it didn’t?!’”

‘Oh, they can be, if those several thousands of years of development occurred across several billion billion BILLION separate planes of existence,’ Matthias explained with all the casualness of a teacher illustrating how a heliocentric orbit gave the impression of the sun rising and setting over the horizon.

“In what way, Sir May?” Celestia asked, his current demeanor and confidence a far cry from the shaken creature she had rousted from bed this morning, almost reminding her of Starswirl when he was helping her and Luna learn to properly guide their charges all those years ago.

‘Well… Are any of you familiar with the theory that if you give a monkey a typewriter and an infinite amount of time, that it’ll eventually type the completed works of _____________ (insert name of famous author here), just by hitting the keys at random?’

“Not with monkeys and typewriters, but yes, we do have a similar saying about how a cat hopping on the keys of a piano for all of time would eventually reproduce every melody ever struck by Moonlight Serenade,” Twilight clarified, having already grabbed a quill and several sheets of blank paper to begin taking notes. Idly noting how Matthias flinched somewhat at the name of one of Equestria’s cornerstone composers of the Classical Era.

“Would’st this be another example of such convergences, or would’st it be a divergence given the differing animals and instruments used within the respective metaphors?” Luna asked both curiously and—if Matthias didn’t know better—somewhat ashamedly. Though what she would have to be ashamed about he had no idea, nor would he press her if she wasn’t comfortable sharing it with him.

‘Let’s call it six of one, half a dozen of the other since the base idea is the same but the imagery used to exemplify it is different.’

“But the crux of those scenarios is contingent upon a theoretical infinite amount of time to give the cat and monkey every possible chance to hit the proper sequence of keys,” Twilight interjected, having clearly found a problem with the metaphor. “While our cultures have had only a few thousand years to develop our collective customs and traditions. Unless… have the civilizations your people built lasted even longer than that?”

“No, we’re roughly the same temporally speaking, or temporally writing as it were. Feel free to tell me when that joke gets old by the way.’ he wrote sheepishly, only for him to relax at the warm smiles and the rapt attention the princesses were giving him.

“If it means I get an impromptu history on the development of an alien race’s civilization and the answer to why our languages developed so similarly, then you can buck the rule of three till it cries!” Twilight cheered, causing Matthias and Luna to chuckle heartily and Celestia to shoot her pupil a concerned look.

“I didn’t want to believe it at first, but I guess you really are the source of my baby sister’s new lexicon of crass words and phrases,” Celestia spoke up, shooting her student and sister a disappointed look that made them freeze. Though Matthias could pick up the subtle undertones of her laughter bouncing beneath each hardened syllable. “And here I thought I was leaving my little Lulu in safe hands when I asked if you could help tutor her in the social norms of modern pony society, but it seems you too are guilty of abusing both her station and her naivete. Oh, Luna, how could I have been so foalish as to entrust your studies to such an irresponsible and potty-mouthed pony. But never you fret, as I will personally see to it that your next tutor is-”

“NO!” screamed both the blue and purple alicorns, the former pulling the latter into her chest and wrapping her wings around her possessively. “I mean, please sister do not take dearest Twilight from u- me! She has been so patient in putting up with me and ou- my occasional slips into the old tongue and has not once given up on me, even after bearing the brunt of my childish tantrums. And… and the only reason she has been teaching me such vulgarities is so that I may understand their proper context and meaning lest W- I unintentionally use them whilst in public or in court!”

“Is this the truth, my faithful student?” She asked, turning her attention towards the smaller alicorn, causing her to shrink further against Luna’s frame.

“Y-yes it is Princess Celestia. Not *gulp* Not only have the diction and conventions by which obscenities can be judged changed dramatically in the time Luna’s been locked away,” Twilight tried to explain, the subject matter clearly making Luna uncomfortable given how quickly her ears had flattened, and her wings had lilted. “But nowadays, cursing and foul language is oftentimes seen as a sign of trust and informality with somepony you are close with. So… So I figured Luna should not only have a grounding in the formation of our modern profanity, but should also know when it is, and is not, appropriate to engage in such banter.”

“Hmmmm, you do make a fair point, we certainly wouldn’t want our dearwest widdle Woona calling somepony a “vapid cunt” or a “traitorous twat” whilst in the heat of court proceedings. Nor would we want our subjects believing she perpetually had a pike up her plot if she can’t cut loose in public a bit,” Celestia reflected aloud. Causing Luna’s muzzle to harden at having realized she’d been getting teased this whole time, and Twilight to blush even darker than when Matthias and the Night Princess had been working her cheeks over earlier. “Alright, I can see the merit of you continuing with this line of discourse with my sister.”

“Thank you Pri-”

“But only if you would do me the honor of allowing me to sit in on your next session,” Celestia interjected playfully, killing whatever hope that had been rekindled in the purple mare’s eyes. “I am curious as to what other bits of colorful vocabulary you might have picked up in your time away from Canterlot.”

“But… but-”

“‘Tis true, dearest Twilight. It seems as though my sister has fallen somewhat out of touch with more modern vulgarities as well, and could stand for a bit of a refresher,” Luna chimed in, hoping to throw a bit of shade back at her sister, and hoping to see her friend blush a bit more.

“Or, if the idea of cursing in front of your old teacher and princess is too much for you,” Celestia cut in, a devilish smirk beginning to crawl across her muzzle. “You could simply write me a report like you used to do for me back when you were a filly. And detail for me which words you are going to introduce to my little sister, where you picked them up from, and what context you have found they are most applicable in.”

If Twilight’s face could’ve burned any hotter or brighter, then steam would have begun billowing out of her ears by this point. But as adorable as the tiny alicorn squirming in Luna's lap and turning more and more purple was, the worried little squeaks slipping past her lips as she tried to keep herself from hyperventilating gave Matthias pause.

As despite the light-hearted smiles and laughter falling from the other princesses, no such mirth or warmth was coming off of Twilight. Her shaking eyes and stifled breaths betraying just how close to the edge they had really pushed her.

‘And here I thought I was thin-skinned,’ Matthias mused as he quickly pulled her out of Luna’s arms and into his chest. Having worked himself into enough tizzies throughout middle and high school to recognize the starts of a low-grade panic attack a mile away. Shocking the royal sisters out of their incessant tittering as they saw him nuzzle his cheek into her ear and begin rocking her back and forth. Quickly realizing that they had gone too far.

But as much as the princesses would have liked to embrace her and apologize for their foalish teasing, the sight of their ward caressing and soothing the student turned teacher made them freeze up. Their hearts threatening to burst from their chests when they saw the large, hairless creature begin raking his hand through her mane in long petting motions, while at the same time slow his breathing in an effort to try and get her to match his own. Each drawn-out breath he released coming out in quiet, comforting burst that blew across her ears and horn, slowly but surely steadying the mare in his arms. Causing Luna’s heart to flutter and her tail to swish happily, and Celestia’s guilt to fucktuple:

How could I have been so wrong?

‘It’s okay,’ Matthias wrote out after spending another couple minutes pulling Twilight out of her panic. Giving her a warm, toothy smile when she made to look up him, her gleaming amethyst eyes shining in awe. ‘Nobody’s mad or disappointed with you. They’re just busting your balls is all.’

“Busting my-?”

“I believe friend May means twisting your teats, dearest Twilight. Yes?”

‘Yes!’

“R-really?”

“Of course, Twilight!” Celestia promised before leaning down to nuzzle her former student, making sure to slide a wing across Matthias’ back in the process. “I know you have my sister’s best interests in heart. And I certainly wouldn’t want to deprive Luna of the best royal tutor we’ve had since Starswirl the Bearded.”

“B-b-b-best since Star-”

“Indeed, We wouldn’t trade thee for all the time We hath lost,” Luna assured her before nibbling on the tip of her plushy purple ear. Causing Twilight’s breath to hitch, and Matthias’ cheeks to color, but every attempt he made at giving them space was halted by Twilight’s arms, Luna’s tail, and Celestia’s wings tightening around him. Making escape all but impossible as he simply surrendered to the mares' fluffy embrace.

“So, Sir May,” spoke up Celestia after sensing that everybody had settled and that any bad air had cleared. “You had mentioned that our respective societies had risen within a similar time frame.”

‘That’s right,’ he affirmed once he’d managed to unwrap himself from the various limbs the princesses had been hugging him with. ‘Although some accounts can vary, the earliest settlements we have found, which would eventually converge into what historians would consider the precursor for most modern civilizations to follow, can be traced back to almost 9000 years ago.’

“So, if the times it took for our cultures to coalesce and develop are statistically the same,” came Twilight after managing to pull her head above the sea of feathers and fur she’d been drowning in. “Then doesn't that make the “cat on the piano” metaphor moot?”

‘Not if you invert it.’

“In what sense?”

‘In the sense that if you give an infinite amount of cats a reasonably finite amount of time, would it not then stand to reason that one or more of them would eventually land on the right sequence of notes?’ Matthias explained nonchalantly, once more causing the princesses’ jaws to fall to the floor.

“C-can it really be that simple?” asked Luna, after relocating hers and Twilight's jaws out of their laps.

“It… it is actually!” Twilight exclaimed once her stupor had finally worn off and she'd given her head a quick shake. “While yes, at a minimum, we would have to grant the cats the bare amount of time needed to run through all of Serenade's symphonies. But even with that relatively short amount of time, given how there'd theoretically be an infinite number of cats dancing on the keys, then statistically speaking there'd have to be at least one who was hitting all the right notes!”

‘But Twilight,’ Matthias wrote out before tsking his finger in the air teasingly, ‘we're talking and writing about infinities here. Surely there’d have to be more than just one lucky feline frolicking across the ivories in the correct sequence.’

“Of course there’d be. In fact, once you’ve established criteria by which to determine what it is you’re looking for, then really… all… all it would... boil down to is… is…”

‘What you’re looking for, and what you aren’t looking for.’

“In… in other words-”

‘50/50’ Matthias scribbled out with a full flourish before applauding the purple mare for piecing it together.

“We still don’t-”

“Generally speaking, the probability of a certain scenario occurring is determined by the relative average frequency of the event happening as opposed to it not happening,” Twilight interrupted while pulling three more sheets of paper into a field of her magenta magic and setting three more quills to work. “However, given that the inverse to the cat and the piano scenario tasks an infinite number of cats with recreating the melodies of Moonlight Serenade. Then probability gets bucked right out the window since that would theoretically mean that there are just as many cats thrashing about wildly on the ivories as there are ones dancing perfectly through Mare de Lune and Scenes from Foalhood.”

“And how exactly does this apply to Sir May’s circumstances?” Celestia asked, a nostalgic smile spreading across her muzzle as she watched Twilight efficiently pick apart the problem laid out before her.

“If only I’d brought some glue and cardboard,” she thought with a merry chuckle, “I do so miss the little dioramas she’d make for me as a filly.”

Twilight looked like she wanted to keep going on and on about what she had deduced, hoping to impress her former mentor with what she discovered. But before she continued on with her rambling, she turned towards Matthias, seemingly asking for his consent to keep going with her eyes. To which he gave freely and happily with a warm smile and a roll of his hands.

“Well, if I’m correct in what May has been getting at with our collective metaphors, then all we’d need to do is swap out the infinite cats and monkeys for infinite realities,” Twilight laid out for everybody, her tail wagging happily when Matthias gave her an excited nod. “Then, rather than the conditions we specify being the recreation of a specific composer or writer’s works, it would be things like suitable living conditions as well as shared languages and cultural conventions. Right?”

‘Right,’ he affirmed as he drew an “A+” in the air for her and flung it towards Twilight, causing her to blush and giggle as it burst against the tip of her snoot like a soap bubble.

“We see. So rather than an endless sea of cats and simians either succeeding or failing to play or write the works of the greats. It’s wave after wave of realm and plane that may or may not bare the conditions necessary for thee to thrive?” asked Luna nervously, allowing the breath she’d been holding to escape her chest when both Twilight and Matthias gave her a reassuring nod and smile.

“But still, as logically feasible as this theory sounds on paper,” Celestia interjected, spotting one last gaping hole in Matthias’ hypothesis, “what proof have you that such an endless supply of worlds and realms even exists so as to serve probability its proper bucking, as my former student so eloquently put it.”

‘Well, aside from the simple fact that I'm here having a conversation with a trio of bipedal, winged ponies, rather than back home making lesson plans,’ Matthias considered, doing his best to resist the urge to scratch behind Twilight’s ears as she started blushing and stammering at hearing Celestia curse again. So he settled for just rubbing the purple alicorn along her shoulders, her shuddering ceasing at his touch. ‘I'd have to go with the results of the electron wedge experiment my AP Physics teacher taught me about some 10 or so years.’

“A what wedge?”

‘Electron wedge. Basically, we discovered that if you fire an electron, or another suitably small elementary particle, down an empty corridor with a two-pronged fork at its end. Rather than simply go down one path or the other, another particle of the same nature would appear so as to take the road less traveled. And one of the potential implications we have considered from these findings is that acts of choice and coincidence may have the potential to spawn brand new actualities separate from what has already been determined. Matthias explained, laughing breathily as all three princesses cocked their heads to the side in a multiversal display of “da fuck?!”

‘In other words, if I were to take one of these books here,’ he wrote out before picking up a red and black tome in each hand respectively. Holding them up for the princesses to see before dropping the black one, ‘and just so happened to drop one. Then it is believed that two new universes would be born wherein one, I would have dropped this one instead,’ he said while giving the red book in his left hand a shake. ‘While in the other, I chose not to drop them, but instead sat them down, or passed them to one of you,’ he clarified with a satisfied smile as realization dawned on the princesses, though he couldn't help but start snickering at Twilight again. Given that she’d begun scribbling and jotting down notes at such a rate that smoke was rising off the pages.

‘Any other questions, Twi?’ he asked, though the only response he got was more furious scribbling, what with her muzzle still buried in her notes and what not. Finally able to pull a startled *eep* out of the mare once he threw the question at her, the sparking silver lights drawing her attention back to him in time for her to see him write his inquiry again.

“W-What's an electron?”

Purpleponysaidwhatnow?! Were the last cogent words Matthias could form before his brain had to do a hard reset. Needing a couple seconds to process just how some...pony (yes!) as seemingly bright and intelligent as Twilight didn’t know about basic atomic structure.

‘It's… It’s a negatively charged elementary particle.’

“Negative!?” she nearly screamed in a panic, only to perk back up a second later after examining Matthias, “Oh, how are humans able to charge them without being overtaken by their anger or sorrow?”

‘Not that kind of negative!’ he wrote before beginning to wave his hands emphatically, hoping to derail that notion before either Lucasfilms or Jim Butcher could hit them with a cease and desist order. ‘We denote the charge as negative because of its tendency to be pulled like a magnet towards the opposite, or positive, charge within the atom's nucleus.’

“What’s an atom? And what does it have to do with either cell division or the formation of rain?” Twilight questioned, seemingly desperate to try and tie all this foreign terminology to something she was familiar with.

Meanwhile, Matthias found himself truly, and utterly, aghast as he tried to piece together how these ponies had managed to get this far without having stumbled upon what was essentially grade school chemistry back on Earth. Wondering just how in the unholy hell they had managed to cobble together a prescription regimen for him, let alone a functional school of medicine when they hadn't even worked out chemical bonding yet.

Thankfully, however, before the recently resuscitated hamster running circles in his skull could stroke out completely, a particularly energetic twittermite popped off in a nearby lantern. Kindly reminding Matthias that despite all the similarities they shared between their worlds, there was still a metric fuck-ton of differences as well. The most obvious, of course, being the talking, bipedal magical horse goddesses sitting around him.

‘Twilight, could you tell me what lightning is made of here in Equestria?’ Matthias questioned cautiously, hoping he could get an idea of what was already in the purple princess’ wheelhouse.

“W-what do you mean ‘what’s it made of?’” Twilight asked, almost sounding offended, “It’s... it’s lightning! It’s one of the five elemental arcana which make up the material plane! That… that’d be like asking what the wind or water was made of!?”

‘The former, a 4:1 ratio of nitrogen and oxygen. The latter, 2 parts hydrogen for every 1 part oxygen,’ Matthias laid out with all the ease of a lunch order at the Olympia Cafe. Making every pony in the room stare at him as if he’d laid bare one of the most heavily guarded secrets of the universe.

‘And as for lightning, well, you’re going to have to imagine for a bit that you, and everything else around you, is made up of the tiniest, most minuscule little blocks you can imagine. Each with a tiny little spark at its center which draws in even tinier sparks of the opposite charge,’ Matthias summarized, hoping that by adding a bit of a mystic flare to the example he could offer Twilight and the others some sort of grounding within their current model of understanding as he drew out a basic diagram of an atom. ‘What we humans call electrons.’

“And… and you're saying that… that lightning is made up of these… sparks?” Twilight asked incredulously. As despite the words he had written contradicting and going against everything she had ever learned or been taught by Celestia. She could sense neither falsehood nor ignorance in his demeanor or delivery.

‘To a degree’ Matthias scribbled out, hesitating somewhat at how to best describe the behavior of valence electrons before going with a tried and true practical demonstration. Pulling a few more chuckles out of his audience as they watched him fumble about with the clasp of the cape and cowl they had dressed him in before he began rubbing it vigorously through the shock of rusty red hair atop his head. Though at least one mare's chuckles turned into a startled gasp, when the dark brown cloak fell off his shoulder, revealing the torn and scarred skin wrapped around his left arm.

“M-May, what… what are you doing?” Twilight asked worriedly, fearing that her new friend had fallen victim to one of the strange episodes that Celestia and Luna had warned her he was prone to. Relaxing, however, and even giggling once more, when she saw his head pop up from beneath his cloak, watching as his unkempt, muddy red mane began frizzing out like a mare’s after a fresh toweling.

‘Now, when the world is in harmony, those blocks, or atoms, remain in a state of balance. Each only holding onto and attracting as many electrons as needed in order to maintain their equilibrium.’ Matthias continued, purposefully choosing his words to match the princess’ vernacular and garner their absolute attention as he drew another couple atoms in the sky. Each with a different number of plusses in their center and minuses orbiting around them.

‘However, their hold on these particles is weak, and sometimes they can be lost, imparting another block with a negative charge should they gain electrons, and a positive charge when they’ve been lost. But since this is not the natural order of things, the blocks will seek to rebalance the scales, so they might either burn off their excess charge or take back what was stolen from them.

“In… in what way?” Twilight asked in near awe, her quills having been cast aside as all her attention rested upon Matthias.

‘Why, this way of course,’ he said before suddenly chucking the balled up cloak at Twilight, her hands moving to catch the incoming projectile almost by reflex. Whereupon making contact with the princess’ plush, purple hands, it released all the built-up static it had taken from Matthias in a series of loud *snaps* and *crackles* that arced across her violet coat.

“Yeeouch!!!” Twilight shouted in a pained panic as she flung the offending garment off of her, accidentally throwing more of the mess she had made across the room as her wings flared out in shock. “Ow ow ow ow, oh, motherbucker, what… what was that?!”

‘That, dearest Twilight, was the universe balancing itself out,’ Matthias printed out with a flare and a bow, pulling free the cackles Celestia and Luna had been holding back as Twilight tried to set everybody beneath the fishbowl on fire with her glare.

“That… That was just static!” Twilight asserted with a blush before flexing her fingers a few times in an attempt to shake away the lingering sting.

‘Indeed it was.’

“But… but that’s not lightning! That’s just uncollected, free-flowing mana that builds up in the air and clings to mane and metal! And when it’s stimulated it lashes out towards anything that doesn’t have a similar build up!”

‘And yet somehow, someway, someone who is completely disruptive to magic in all its forms is able to build it up and manipulate it,’ Matthias countered with a playfully smug grin, his words killing whatever rebuttal Twilight was forming cold and in the streets.

“He does make a strong argument for his case, my faithful student,” Celestia said nonchalantly through her best poker face. While internally she had already begun compiling several sets of questions for Matthias, as well as several different avenues for research she could give to her Senior Weather Managers simply from what he had just shared with them.

“‘Tis true, dearest Twilight” came Luna, rising to Matthias’ defense. The sheer excitement at seeing a long-held tenant of natural philosophy torn asunder so swiftly and efficiently, taking second chair to how much she was enjoying watching her friends play so well off one another. “Given friend May’s aversion to the arcane in all its myriad forms, those bolts that struck thee must surely have come from some other source, no?”

Twilight’s eyes just couldn’t stay still as they jumped from princess to princess to human much like the proverbial cat they had previously been discussing. Her trust in her earlier assertion faltering beneath all that Luna and Princess Celestia had told her of Matthias’ interactions with magic.

“M-May?” she asked timidly.

‘Yes?’

“Is... *gulp* Is there any chance I could maybe... perhaps t-t-t-touch you with my magic?” she requested meekly, turning her head away in what looked like embarrassment to Matthias.

‘Sure.’

“Really,” squeaked Twilight, relief washing over her as if she’d been expecting disgust or revulsion on his end for some odd reason.

‘Really, really! Heck, if it weren’t for what happened to the second guy Tia brought in to help get this damned thing off me,’ Matthias wrote while running the rim of his quill over his collar, ‘I’d say, “go ahead and knock yourself out.”’

“W-what happened to him?”

“He wished to see if he could simply muscle his way through whatever it is that shields friend May from the arcane, so he poured everything he had into a single, concussive beam, which he then let loose at our friend.” Luna explained as she started piling books and spilled papers into a makeshift bunker before moving behind the impromptu barricade, reattaching the helmet Celestia had given her once she had finished.

“And… and I take it that didn’t work?”

“Most assuredly,” said Celestia with an impish chuckle as she started pulling sandbags out from whatever hammer-space she had stored hers and Luna's helmets in before using them to bolster their impromptu shelter's defenses. “Once released, the beam proceeded to bounce off of Sir May in such a way that it struck the poor colt dead between the eyes. Rendering him unconscious.”

Twilight audibly gulped before turning back to Matthias, “Are… are you still sure you’re okay with me doing this?” she asked him, still seemingly concerned for him even after hearing what had happened to that other poor sap. To which Matthias nodded, offering her a hand and a warm smile which she gladly took and returned.

“Okay, I’ll… I’ll try to be as gentle as possible, but if at any point you feel uncomfortable, just give my hand two quick squeezes,” she instructed while strengthening her grip on him twice to demonstrate, “alright?”

Once again he nodded, though this time he made sure to bring his cheek down to hers so it’d brush against her when he moved. Causing the skin beneath her plush, purple fur to heat up drastically as she started giggling nervously.

“Hee Hee St- Hee Hee Stop that! Let me Hee Hee Let me focus here!” She playfully chastised before lighting up her horn. The arcane energies encasing the fluted bone in a magenta glow that shimmered and writhed in time with the rhythmic chime that seemed to accompany unicorns, and alicorns apparently, whenever they made use of their magic.

Although, whereas the previous ponies brought in to examine Matthias had just directed a low-grade beam of mana at him or had floated something over to him in a bubble of magic to gauge the range and strength of the near AT-field of arcane interference surrounding him. Twilight’s magic condensed and coalesced into a translucent facsimile of her hand. It’s mystic digits flexing and wiggling some before seemingly moving to cup his cheek.

However, before it could even get within an inch of Matthias’ face, the construct popped, not unlike the fizz in a bottle of Grape Crush. But, thankfully, rather than explode in his face or bounce all over the room as Luna and Celestia had expected, the unraveled energies simply blew back towards Twilight with barely enough strength to brush aside her bangs.

“Oh! Oh, wow! Total harmonic dissonance at a range of one point two-five inches!” Twilight cheered in an odd blend of awestruck excitement and near disbelief before she popped another couple dozen hands into existence, each having a different combination of extended and outstretched fingers all pointed towards Matthias, and set them upon him.

Causing the suddenly wary human to wonder, just briefly, if this was how Thorned Namshiel felt before he nearly got the devil beaten out of him by Harry Dresden back in Small Favors. Fortunately, however, rather than getting poked, prodded, or otherwise tickled to death, the array of hands simply went the way of their progenitor, each bursting apart in a sea of shimmering, violet dust whenever they got within a certain distance of the human. Much to the relief of Matthias.

However, with each glowing hand that fell before the seemingly impervious field of borderline anti-magic protecting him, Twilight’s wonder and curiosity seemed to dampen. Replaced by a slowly dawning sense of realization and horror as she could find neither mote nor mite of magic anywhere in the immediate space around him. The words of her fellow princesses, as well as May’s earlier assertions, ringing more and more loudly within her ears.

“M-May?” she asked cautiously after releasing both the hold she had on his hands, as well as the one on her magic. Returning the few remaining hands she had conjured back into the aether.

‘Yes?’

“L-Luna and Celestia told me that you were both a teacher and a scholar, is… is this true?”

‘That’s what it says on the fancy silver-leafed certificate I got hanging on the wall in my classroom back home,’ he wrote with a fragile, nostalgic smile as he wondered what had become of both his old school and old students in the time he’d been gone.

“What did you teach?”

‘My specialty and degree were in literature. But I was adept enough to pass the qualification tests to be able to teach both History and the Physical Sciences as well.’

“W-W-W-Well, do… do you think you could… I mean, if it’s not too much trouble that we could maybe… sometime…”

‘Of course, I’d be happy to teach you what I know! Matthias scrawled excitedly, the idea of teaching somebody again, even if it was just this adorkable little horse woman, filling him up with a sense of fulfillment he hadn’t felt in Cthulhu knows how long.

“W-would you really?” Twilight stuttered out in a mix of shock and joy, her tail beginning to swish back and forth excitedly.

‘Most definitely, so long as you’re willing to teach me a bit about your magic in exchange,’ he offered, hoping he could pick this mare’s brain a bit more about how actual fucking magic worked before he somehow managed to scare her off.

“I would’ve taught you regardless!” she squeaked out happily as her tail’s wagging picked up enough speed to break the sound barrier. “Omigosh omigosh omigosh I’ve got so many questions: Where did these atoms and electrons come from? How was your race able to stumble upon something so small without a Fine Tooth’s Monocle spell to see them? Ooh ooh ooh, how have hoomans been able to ward off unchecked bursts of storm ether without any ma-”

“Breathe dearest Twilight breathe,” pleaded Luna jovially as she abandoned her post behind the paper barricade she and her sister had constructed to try and settle the excitable little mare down. “Remember, thou needest air in thy lungs should thou wish to hear him answer thine questions.”

“Oops heheheh sorry about that,” Twilight apologized with an embarrassed little chuckle before quickly perking back up, “It’s just... how often does a mare get the opportunity to just casually sit down and talk with somepony from beyond the bucking Aetherium, let alone have that pony share with you what he and his tribe have learned over the millennia! I mean, for your sister’s sake he just upended a third of Falling Apple’s Principia with a bucking cloak and cowl! Could you imagine what he could show us if we gave him a proper lab to work in and the right equ- Oh… oh buck, oh buck oh buck oh buck I’m sorry Luna!” Twilight cried out in a panic before hanging her head and shoulders in shame.

“Whatever for dearest?” Luna asked worriedly as she started stroking her hand along the magenta streak cutting through Twilight's mane in an attempt to calm her. Though she couldn’t help but smile when she felt Twilight lean into the hand she had placed on her head and saw Matthias scoot closer to offer her whatever aid he could.

“*sniff* Th-This was supposed to be a joint lesson for both you and May,” Twilight tried explaining through the somber sniffling and soft coos she couldn’t quite catch as Luna tended to her. Her eyes shining once again with tears desperate to be shed as her gaze jumped from Luna to Celestia, before finally settling back on the floor. “I… I mean, I spent the last three days compiling a list of topics we could focus on for tonight’s session which would benefit the both of you the most, and all I’ve done since getting here is either make a complete and utter flank out of myself or sperg out at finally getting to meet and talk to May!”

Matthias wanted to say something, anything to try and put the shivering mare at ease, guilt beginning to tear into him for possibly causing conflict between the princesses. But before he could pick up his quill or risk setting off his collar again, Luna and Celestia’s loving smiles caused him to settle. The look of sheer warmth and nostalgia radiating off their muzzles killing any concern Matthias might have had where it stood.

“And… and rather than getting this mess sorted out or asking how all of your days have been,” Twilight continued, oblivious to the total lack of offense taken by her fellow princesses. “I’ve just been sitting here wasting May’s time and completely ignoring you and Pr- I mean Celestia! Seriously, what good is either my crown or my school if I start playing favorites or ignore one of my stu- EEP!?”

Any further ramblings from the panicking princess were cut off with her air supply as Luna all but flattened Twilight against her chest. Her worry shifting to confusion as she felt her student’s laughter begin to bubble in her chest.

“Oh, sweet, gentle Twilight,” cooed Luna to the flighty little mare as she began burying her muzzle into her mane. “As insightful and riveting as thy lecture on the evolution of the handshake throughout the ages was sure to be, watching thy first meeting with friend May go better than even I could have dreamed more than makes up for the supplementary lessons We are sure to receive.”

“Are… are you sure?” Twilight asked in near disbelief, only for her doubts to vanish when she felt Luna’s cheek drag along her horn.

“Most assuredly.”

“And even if you had somehow made it here in time to appropriately set up or give Sir May a less ‘flanks on’ introduction, we would have had to cut their lesson short anyways,” cut in Celestia, having exchanged the Patton helmet for a sheet of the strange exploding parchment that would inevitably blow up in their faces whenever she and Matthias were having tea or lunch together. “Seeing as in her excitement for this evening’s lesson, my sister appears to have misaligned the stars decorating the Northern sky to such a degree that the flow of aether will exceed the maximum mana threshold for the Vanhoover and Cloudsdale regions.”

“What trite drivel are you on about?” Luna spat in a fury as she shot her sister a glare worthy of an Arbok.

“Come see for yourself,” Celestia suggested nonchalantly as she held up the offending document. To which Luna released her grip on Twilight and ported over to her sister. “The Lumen Sages have requested an emergency summit, at our earliest convenience, of course, to discuss possible stellar arrangements and solar activity which would best redistribute the excess mana before we would have to get the Farming and Weather Bureaus involved.”

Luna’s glare softened from adamantite to mere diamond as her gaze jumped from the letter in her hands to her sister’s expression again and again like some navy blue metronome. Until eventually, she just sighed and hung her head in resignation.

“We… I must apologize dearest Twilight, friend May,” Luna lamented as she came back over to her friends so she could drape her wilting wings across them. “But in my zeal for finally witnessing thy first meeting, it appears as though I have… dun bucked up the Northern stars… yes?”

“Heh heh that's correct,” Twilight affirmed with a giggle so saccharine and sweet, Matthias feared he’d need an insulin shot afterwards.

“Thank you, dearest, but unfortunately, my sister and I must take our leave with friend May lest these untamed magics begin running wild throughout the border territories come moonset.”

“Oh, I… I understand,” said Twilight with a forlorn sigh as she looked between Luna and Matthias. “May’s existence is still on a need to know basis, and even with so few ponies out at this time of night. We can't just leave him unsupervised lest we risk exposing his identity to the pu-”

‘Can’t I just stay here with you then?’ Matthias asked, pulling a sharp inhale out of Twilight and a barely audible squee from Luna.

“You… You'd be alright with just me being here?” Twilight asked in awe, tears once more threatening to spill onto her blushing cheeks. Causing Matthias’ cheek to flare up as well.

‘It's like you said. I can't be out on my own lest ponies think I'm some sort of threat and start panicking. That's why Celestia and Luna have been trying to spend as much time as possible with me, so as to allay such fears around the castle. And seeing as the princesses have finally allowed you the opportunity to talk and or write with me, that must mean they trust you enough to be able to impart the same sense of ease and trust on your subjects as they do should somebody walk in on us.’ Matthias explained, earning a round of nods and smiles from the Solar and Lunar Princesses.

‘Plus, speaking from personal experience, nothing burns more than wasting hours crafting a lesson you know is going to be perfect. Only to have it thrown out because the universe decided that your county's superintendent wanted teachers to prepare their students for a newly implemented an unproven testing method that assumes that all children express what they've learned in the exact same way. Or in this case, give the Princess in charge of the stars one too many glasses of wine before she came in for work tonight.’

“Hey!”

“Well then, if we are all in agreement that it is safe for Sir May to remain here under Twilight's watchful eye, and that Luna should limit herself to just one mimosa pitcher at breakfast,” Celestia announced, drawing all of Luna's ire onto herself, rather than Matthias’ snub. “Then I believe it is time for us to take our leave.”

“Indeed, however, seeing as the nature of this crisis is one of only minor inconvenience. We should only be gone for… what say you, dearest sister, two hours at the most,” asked Luna pointedly, satisfied when Celestia nodded in affirmation. “But should anything happen during the time we are apart,” she continued before willing a small piece of parchment into existence and handing to Matthias, “do not hesitate to light this page and we shall return with all due haste.”

Matthias graciously accepted the offered slip, placing into the pocket of the sweats he was wearing before offering Luna a reassuring smile. One which grew even wider when the little blue pony wrapped him in her arms and pulled him into another warm hug.

“We are so proud of you,” Luna whispered before planting a peck on his cheek, “thank you for being so brave.”

Any comebacks or questions Matthias might have had about bravery or pride were quickly burned up in the heat of Luna's affection. The feel of her warms lips and hot breath playing across his cheek whiting out any thoughts, and burying whatever doubts he might have still had, about letting her return to the castle without him.

Although, with a quick shake of his head, he was able to kick the hamster off his ass and get him back on his wheel in time to see Twilight hugging Celestia, and Luna call down Starry, and dismiss her for the evening.

Wait… What?! He thought with more confusion than concern. But before the hamster had picked up enough speed for him to ask what they were thinking leaving an Equestrian Princess unattended with a goddamn alien, Starry took off through the opening in the dome Twilight had crashed through. Followed closely by Luna and Celestia in a flash of their respective magics. Leaving Matthias and the purple princess alone to their own devices.

“Are you alright, May?” Twilight asked, sensing his mounting frustration and confusion.

‘I'm fine’ he assured her, though the curious cock to her head showed him that she was far from convinced.

“Are you sure, you seem a bit… frazzled I suppose.”

‘I don't know,’ Matthias admitted as his resolve finally cracked, feeling it wouldn't be in good taste to try and hide anything from the pony. “I’m just finding it a bit odd is all.’

“Finding what odd?”

‘How… How trusting you and Luna are of me!” he conceded as he tried to look away in shame, only for Twilight to step around so she could face him again.

“Why wouldn't we trust you?” she asked without any sign of offense or anger, just a genuine sense of curiosity.

‘Because you don't know me,’ Matthias explained, ‘Neither of you did. And yet when Luna found me that night, she treated me like I was human and not some kind of monster. And on the way here the princesses weren't exactly subtle about how eager you were to meet me.’

“And…”

‘And I'm just curious as to why that is, and why you give a damn about me,’ he asked before hanging his head, kicking himself for failing not to look this gift horse in the mouth.

“Heh heh heh!”

Of all the possible responses he'd been expecting, barely stifled chuckling was pretty low on the list.

Looking back up at the mare, Matthias found Twilight doing her best to keep herself from laughing like a madmare. One of her hands having moved to knead out a stitch in her side, while the other went to wipe away a few errant tears she couldn't quite hold back.

“Heh heh Well heh heh well that's an easy one to answer!” Twilight said between her giggles as she lit up her horn and pulled out a black knapsack from beneath the mess of parchment and books that hadn't gone towards making Celestia and Luna's paper fortress. Its side emblazoned with a huge, six-pointed magenta star at its center that held seven similar stars, albeit smaller and stark white, in its orbit.

Once within arms reach, she unhooked the bag’s silver clasp and started to root around within its main compartment, shoving her arm down its mouth all the way up to her shoulder. An impressive feat, considering the sack was all of twelve inches at its deepest.

However, before he could settle on whether this was a Harry Potter, Doctor Who, or a D&D reference, Twilight appeared to find whatever it was she was looking for. A happy squee slipping through her curving lips as she pulled out some small, unassuming little package. One that shouldn't have been that hard to find, given how it was roughly half as tall as the outside of the bag. Wrapped in a forest green paper that matched his eyes and topped with the hottest pink pom pom bow he had ever seen, and handed it to Matthias.

Quirking his only working eyebrow at Twilight, Matthias tilted the package in her direction, asking, as it were, if this was for him and if he could open it. To which Twilight nodded enthusiastically.

Shrugging his shoulders, he made to undo the ribbon wrapped around his present. Idly noting how whoever had dressed it for him had actually taken the time to tie the ribbon into the bow rather than simply buy a premade tape-on one at the store or something.

Once untied, he set about pulling apart the wrapping, being careful not to tear the paper as his mother had taught him, so as to save the paper. His hands steady as they gently peeled away at the tape holding the folds in place before pulling the packaging apart.

But when he saw the framed picture hidden beneath the package's dark green wrapper, it took all the strength and control Matthias could muster to keep himself from dropping this precious gift, given how violently his hands had begun to shake.

The photo was a simple 8X10 landscape, while the frame was your typical brown stained wood with a felt back and stand so it could be propped up without issue. But it was the dozen or so brightly colored ponies lined up before the door of some great crystal-looking building that was taking an aluminum bat to the kneecaps of his calm.

“This is Applejack,” Twilight pointed out after moving over to his side, his focus too rested on the little ponies in his hands to register her sudden proximity. “She and her family run one of the most lucrative apple farms in all of Equestria, and is one of the most straightforward and honest ponies you'll ever have the opportunity to meet. And this is Rainbow Dash, self-proclaimed fasted flyer the world over, and the most loyal and steadfast friend you're ever sure to find. And Rarity here, well... despite her coming off as a bit prim and prissy at first, I guarantee you that there isn't a more selfless and generous soul in all of Equestria. In fact, she's been asking if she could possibly get your measurements to start work on a…”

Matthias tried his best to listen to what Twilight had to say about these clearly wonderful ponies. To focus on what was so special about them and what made them simply the best there ever was.

But every time she’d point a pony out, and start going into detail about the qualities that simply made them just so awesome. His gaze would inevitably be drawn to the familiar little pony children riding atop their shoulders or sitting in their laps, smiling and waving at him through the film.

Or to the unkempt green stallion being propped up by the frail-looking, butter-yellow mare holding his hand. His eyes and smile seemingly weighed down by guilt and shame.

And there was simply no ignoring the gray mares looking equal parts nonplussed and nervous as some strange pink pony threw her arms around their necks and hugged them into her chest. But if Matthias looked close enough, he could just barely make out the tiniest hints of a smile pulling at their lips.’

“Hee hee hee, And of course, you've already met these silly fillies,” Twilight giggled merrily before shooting him the warmest smile Matthias had ever seen. “This is Applebloom,” she said while pointing to the creme colored mare in denim overalls sitting atop Applejack’s shoulder. That familiar pink bow still firmly affixed to her shoulder length, apple-red mane, “she's almost as dedicated and hard a worker as her sister, but her talents lie more in detail and arrangement rather than manual labor. Which has given her quite the penchant for potion making and interior design.

“And this little firecracker here is Scootaloo,” she explained as she moved her finger over to the spunky little pegasus filly playing chicken atop Rainbow Dash. Her purple mane and orange coat popping against her black, hooded jacket and dark-green cargo shorts. “She's quite the little daredevil with that scooter of hers, and is just as brave and fearless as Rainbow is.

“Heh heh While Sweetie Belle here,” she chuckled as she dragged her finger to the little white filly with the pastel pink and violet mane sitting on the steps of the building everybody was posing in front of. Her magenta blouse and white and pink candy-striped undershirt nearly hidden beneath the arms of Twilight's high-society friend as she hugged her closely from behind, “is almost the complete opposite to Rarity in every way you can imagine. Rambunctious, boisterous, and all but impossible to get her to sit still for more than five minutes at a time. But when she can direct all that energy towards putting on a show for her friends, you'll be hard pressed to find somepony with a more beautiful singing voice.

“And sweet little Dinky here, is one of the most diligent fillies I've ever met,” she proclaimed as she pointed out the blonde, purplish grey unicorn sticking her head out from the cocoon of arms and feathers made by the just as blonde, cloud grey pegasus mare sitting behind her. Whose golden walled eyes were a perfect match for those of the filly in her lap. “As despite her father not being in the picture anymore, she still works to help her sister support her mom in any way she can. Even saving up her allowance to hire me to tutor her in magic, even though I usually just give it back to her or slip into her piggy bank when she isn't looking.

“And this is Zephyr,” she said before moving on to the sea-green pegasus stallion in serious need of a shave. Wearing nothing but a simple black tee and a pair of jeans. “He's Fluttershy's little brother and an aspiring manestylist. And he told me to tell you that he's willing to style your mane for life after what you did for him and the others.

“And last, but certainly not least, are Maud and Marble,” she proclaimed while circling the two gray mares being glomped by the pink mare between them. One, as stone-faced as a cliff edge wearing just a simple blue frock. While the shyer, shale manned mare seemed desperate to shrink away from the grasp of the pink mare, but her grip on the mare's maroon red sports-coat left her little room to wiggle away.

“Maud is Pinkie's eldest sister, as hard as that is to believe, and has a rocktorate in both geo-classification and rock formation. And Marble is Pinkie's twin, still just as hard to believe, and makes some of the cutest little stone sculptures you've ever seen!”

Applebloom, Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Dinky, Zephyr, Maud, Marble, those are their names! Matthias thought as the names of those seven little ponies finally sunk in. Those seven little ponies who had been so scared of him at first that Maud had actually tried to punch his teeth in. Those seven little ponies who had stood up for each other no matter what manner of pain or cruelty the dogs had threatened them with. Those seven little ponies who had taken him in after he had accepted the punishment meant for Sweetie and Dinky, and every other subsequent punishment the ponies would have received. Those seven little ponies who had tended to his wounds and shared their meals with him until that fateful day when Celestia and Shining forced their way into the deep and dark. Those seven little ponies he gladly let himself be ki-

And then he saw something that killed all thought and took what little breath he had away.

Their… their collars are off!?

Matthias turned back to face Twilight, that heart melting, blush-inducing smile still stuck to her face. Though now she was doing nothing to hold back the pools of tears that had been welling up in her eyes as she pulled him into another hug.

“*sniff* Th-those ponies are *sniff* are the brothers, sisters, and daughters of my best friends in this whole bucking world!” Twilight cried, all composure failing her as she started wailing and trembling into his chest. “They're *sniff* they're like family to me. We… we were scrambling around for weeks looking for them, fearing Celestia knows what had happened to them. And… and… and then we get a letter saying she found them with some strange creature in that damned diamond dog den and that you… that you had… had-”

But her words finally failed her as the sobs she'd been holding back finally overtook her. Sobs he hoped to stifle as he pressed her against his chest and started running his hand along her mane in slow, gentle pets. Sobs that threatened to coax his own tears out of hiding, and set him to wailing as well. But he stood strong, not wanting to upset the mare in his arms further by both setting off his collar again and letting her see him so weak. But made it up to the mare by nuzzling the right of his cheek against her ear and releasing his breath in soft, shushing coos as he started rocking her once again.

“You… you saved them,” Twilight finally managed to choke out spending another few minutes letting Matthias rock her pent-up sorrow and shame away. “You protected them, kept them fed, and let those… those monsters do all those terrible things to you just to keep them safe, so of course I'd want to meet and help you!” she laid out with a deathly fury and seriousness that left no room for doubt in Matthias.

‘And Luna?’ he asked, still unsure as to what her stake in all this was.

“Hee hee the Crusaders were some of the first fillies Luna helped after her return. So of course she visited them in their dreams to help them work through the trauma they'd endured and learned about you in the process.”

‘Guess she wasn't bullshitting me about the whole dream walking thing after all.”

“Heh heh I know, it sounds almost unreal. But when you and your friends get pulled into a town-wide dreamscape to fight off a parasitic nightmare construct, your perspective on what's real and unreal tends to adapt fairly quickly.”

‘Do I even want to know what half of that means?’

“Hee hee I wouldn't worry too much about it, I'm sure Luna will explain it to you if you ask her. After all, I'm not as well versed in dream magic as she is. Just know that we’re both your friends. That we both trust you, and that we'll both be doing everything in our power to get this damned thing off you and find a way to send you home,” she promised him as she slipped a hand up to cup his cheek.

Home.

Just four little letters.

Just one single syllable.

And yet it carried with it so much hope and dread, longing and loss, that he almost buckled beneath the sheer weight of it all.

Fortunately for Matthias, Twilight was right there to catch him. Her tiny little pony frame somehow able to keep him upright.

“Omigosh! May, are you alright? Did… did I say something wrong? Oh no oh no oh no, quick where'd that paper Luna give you go? Hurry, let's get you back to the- *eep!*” However, before Twilight could work herself into another tizzy, a warm, wet cheek began rubbing furiously against her own, killing any further concern she might have had.

‘No, no, we wouldn't want that,’ Matthias assured her after letting up on his nuzzling. ‘After all, I seem to recall promising a certain somepony that I'd teach them about atomic theory. And my room in the infirmary, as homely as it is and all, doesn't have quite the same pedagogical appeal as a library.’

“Are… are you sure?” she asked, her tone caught somewhere between concern for Matthias and excitement at the prospect of learning an alien field of science.

‘Yep, but let's say we get this mess sorted out first,’ he wrote before gesturing broadly to the pile of papers they were still lounging in and the remains of the royal pony sisters’ paper palace. ‘As nostalgic as it all is to be buried up to my hips in papers again, I'm sure the chairs over yonder are much more comfortable and conducive to a chemistry lesson.

“If… if you're sure,” she asked hesitantly, but the twitching in her wings and the speed at which her tail was firing back and forth, betrayed how excited she was.

‘Definitely sure. So, how's about I get started on the rampart over there while you sort out this pile here,’ he suggested, but before he could pick himself up, Twilight's giggling gave him pause.

“Hee hee Now now, let the mare take care of the heavy lifting while you go set up,” she offered while sparking her horn to life, enveloping each book and sheet of paper within a ten-meter radius of them in her magic before lifting them skyward. The papers seemingly coalescing into their original stacks and groupings before bouncing back into Twilight's knapsack.

“And now we've got a potential Disney lawsuit on our hands,” he thought merrily as Higitus Figitus started playing inside his skull.

However, as much as he would've liked to stay and watch, he walked over to the nearest set of desks and chairs to set up as Twilight instructed. Hoping to get that blasted song out of his head and replace it with The Element Song as he began putting together a sloppy periodic table.

“Can they really get this off of me and send me home?” he thought while filling in the noble gasses. Her promise ringing louder than either of the songs now stuck on a loop inside his head.

He couldn't think of the last time he'd seriously thought about his home. Such thoughts only serving to remind him of what he’d lost while working in the Deeps, and risk his composure breaking and setting his shackle off. But now, now all that was on his mind, aside from getting the alkaline metals in their proper order, was his mother's face as she wished him good luck with his students, his dad calling him down to watch the Raiders inevitably throw another game, and finding out from his sister if he had a niece or a nephew to spoil.

Did he still have doubts? Oh, most assuredly. After all, they hadn't even gotten his collar off yet. But seeing those seven ponies free of their shackles, and Twilight so dead set on befriending him, had given him something he hadn't felt since he heard Celestia say those magic words:

Hope.

Hope that one day he could speak again.

Hope that he might see his family one more time.

Hope that he could get back even a semblance of the life that he had lost, and it sent Matthias into a near ecstatic fury as begin filling in the lopsided squares he'd been splattering across the sky.

And, as Twilight rushed over, after managing to somehow squeeze an entire wing's worth of books and scrolls back into her knapsack. Matthias hoped that, at the very least, he could do something, no matter how big or small, to thank Twilight and Luna for making it feel as though what he had done down in the deep and dark had meant something. And find some way, no matter what it took, to apologize to Celestia for what he had to put her through.

Author's Notes:

For those curious about the dresses Celestia and Luna were wearing: