Author's Notes:

Hey everypony we are back!!! Sorry this took so long, it just seemed like every time I thought I was finished some new idea or direction to take a scene would just start screaming at me until I put text to screen.

So first things first!:

1. Huge shout out to Sipioc for pre-reading and helping me edit my over-caffeinated ramblings!

2. This chapter is LOOONNNNGGGG as we're dealing with two characters who don't exactly see the world as everypony else interacting with each other.

3. I've done somethings with word and sentence structure to try and convey the thought process so be prepared for possibly some muddled or confusing bits.

4. Feel free to tell me what you like, dislike, and what I could do to fix what you didn't enjoy.

5. Thanks again for all your continued support and I hope you enjoy

*Huge shout outs to Mystic Cipher and TheRedBaron for going over this with a fine-tooth comb*

Fly Me to the Moon

Staring down at the fertile fields and cresting hills surrounding Canterlot Castle, Matthias Martin pondered, with a morbid curiosity, how long it would take for him to hit the ground.

Oh, by no means was he planning on taking the leap, the arterial bridge connecting the Solar Residence Hall with the rest of the castle didn’t have any gaps big enough for him to fit through, plus it had been weeks since he'd given any serious thoughts to taking the plunge. No, this was merely Matthias attempting to mathematically marshal his thoughts into something roughly resembling coherence:

Let's see, about 2,000 feet above sea level...

What the fuck were you thinking?!

2,000 feet converts to 610 meters...

Would she have really banished me?

Taking into account I’d be aiming myself headfirst, air resistance would be at a minimum...

The way she looked when I brought up the photo!

Low humidity and zero updraft...

Again, why the fuck was she naked!?

So, given gravitational constants, we’re looking at a splashdown of t-minus 11.15 seconds!

Unsurprisingly, calculating the time necessary for his hypothetical suicide to run its course did little to alleviate the influx of malign sentiments assaulting his fragile psyche, and left him feeling just as frail and flustered as he’d been for the better part of the past hour. So, hoping to try and ward off the impending havoc such a malignant stream of consciousness could wreak upon him, Matthias forced his eyes shut and dropped to his knees before grinding his forehead into the well-worn stone beneath him, hoping to keep his attention on a single stimulus while he let the black tide wash over him.

He failed miserably:

Took it too far why does she keep nuzzling me what am I to them person pony friend pet scared did I wanna see her in that bikini yes she must think I’m some kind of perverse freak alone by god she felt soft she’s mad she’s mad she’s mad help me please NAKED did she molest me cake bender hollow she kissed me warm don’t go there did it mean anything looked so cute tossing and turning I kissed her she’ll hate me why am I cold it's dark STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!!...

"I see whatever exists as good...”

The simple sentence ripped through his rampant ruminations with all the force of a 150 lbs. administrative aide hitting the ground at terminal velocity.

“Death is to me like life, sin like holiness, wisdom like foolishness...”

In a different life, in a different time, on a different world, Matthias had been a teacher of literature. Oh sure, he had worked his ass off to get endorsed in both History and Physics as well, because fuck sleep, but his heart and soul, and what little sanity he had left, belonged to the written word and its myriad meanings.

“This stone is a stone, it is also animal, it is also god, it is also Buddha, I do not venerate and love it because it could turn into this or that, but rather because it is already and always everything…”

He had had a particular penchant for the works of Hesse, whose explorations of identity and self, as well as his Western approach to Eastern philosophies, had helped him to cope with his rather unique manner of processing the world around him.

“And it is this very fact, that it is a stone, that it appears to me now and today as a stone, this is why I love it."

It took several more cycles through Siddhartha’s enlightenment before Matthias felt comfortable enough to open his eyes and look out over the Equestrian countryside, without fear of doing something incredibly stupid. And what he saw ripped every cogent thought from his thick skull.

As despite the best efforts of both cold and pony alike, the valley below still clung to much of its greenery. The trees branched out in verdant bolts of lightning, their reflection shattering the glassy river into shards of burning moonlight as it carved a gleaming path through hill and dale alike. Across the plains, green waves waltzed beneath the evening’s pale sun, gliding alongside a chilled breeze that swept up the falling leaves and golden grass, asking them to join in on their midnight merrymaking. And as if on cue, all manner of bird and beast began to take up their stations, their calls and cries a chorus soaring up above the spired city. Following their voices as they journeyed ever upwards, Matthias spied the Night Weather Patrol flittering about a backdrop of swirling blue and ebony, dusting the fields with frozen drops of dew, catching the light of a billion silver stars as they fell across the valley.

“Thank you, Luna,” he spoke in a hushed, almost reverent tone, letting the interplay of wind and starlight, dancing across the expanse, lull the dread thoughts that were still screaming at the fringes of his mind back to sleep.

Matthias needed moments like this, scenes that could overwhelm him with their sheer size and scale, whose excruciating details and intricacies could drown out his sense of self, and leave him, for the briefest of moments, without thought or feeling, just as a being of pure sensory input.

Finally feeling that he had gotten himself back to baseline, Matthias scooped up his belongings before pushing himself off of the railing he had been leaning against. Figuring he should quit with his dawdling, he took one last bracing breath, before restarting his trek towards the throne room. Hoping he could get there before Luna started chewing through her finery out of pure blessed boredom.

‘The fuck did that come from? Haven't had one that bad in a while, Matthias thought, bidding the evening sky a fond farewell as he crossed the threshold into the castle proper. He walked with a somewhat hurried pace, as his little episode--though not overly long--had cut into the time he had hoped to spend with Luna, and he didn't want her worrying over him or believing that he had stood her up...

Where is he does she really want to see me is he alright why do they worry so much need to see her he should be here would she notice me not being there needs me is he not coming why does she put up with me same does he not want to see me...

“OH COME THE FUCK ON!” he all but screamed through gritted teeth, grabbing fist-fulls of his muddy red hair, hoping the pain would snap him back to reality, only to actually scream when he remembered that those hands had been attached to bare royal pony ass not too long ago.

Realizing he'd be of no use to Luna like this, Matthias slowed his steps and restarted his mantra, mumbling it under his breath so as not to draw any unwanted attention from the few ponies still out and about at this time of night. Once he had regained some semblance of control, he set about sifting through the events of the day, trying to find what it was that had pushed him so out of sync.

Alright, no dreams last night (Zebras know how to brew some strong shit), breakfast/dinner with Celestia and Luna was business as usual (praise be to the Griffin ambassadors, you carnivorous bastards!), 3 hours of morning court (only got five dirty looks and two faces full of abject terror), lunch in the garden with Celestia (how is it so warm during the Equestrian equivalent of December?), meeting with the representative from the Ponies First Party (hang me please!)...

“File that one down as a maybe.”

Celestia assigning me Nimbus’s grant request (holy shit! I get to analyze a text!), 206 pages of purple prose and swapped numerals (the fuck are you hiding?), leaving the castle to ensure proposed costs align (*shudder*)...

“Okay, still need to work on that.”

Walking through Canterlot (more confusion than fear from the ponies, it's a start), smell of butter and bread (new bakery?), Baker is glad to see me (okaaaay?), work out a deal with Graham for a couple of cakes (I'm Matthias Martin, and this is my favorite bakery on the Citadel), made it to Work Horses (the puns… THE PUUUNNNSS!), talk with Brick ‘n Mortar (nice guy, reminds me of Uncle G), his estimate is 50,000 less than what Nimbus is asking for (gotcha bitch!), swing back by Pie Crust to pick up cakes (hope Celestia hasn't tried to knit a blanket out of bills...again), get to avoid the line (where are those fillies’s parents?), made it back to the office (awww ain't she cute all tuckered out) warm smile want alone help her so bright butterflies light flying care burning emp-

"I SEE WHATEVER EXISTS AS GOOD!” he hissed out while slamming his fist against one of the stone columns lining the near-empty hallway, wanting to derail that runaway train of thought before he caused a scene in the middle of the castle.

"Okay, now we’re getting somewhere,” he growled, wincing as he flexed his fingers to make sure he hadn't broken anything.

Needing to find someplace isolated he could work through another potential meltdown, Matthias checked the hallmarks at the next intersection and saw that he was near the Great Hall. Looking around, he spied a restroom and darted in, wanting some privacy and a place to freshen up again should things turn nasty. Once inside, he hovered over the sink for a few seconds before turning both nozzles to full blast and sticking his head under the stream. Not to cool himself off per se, but rather to listen to the water as it washed over him, and to feel the echoes in the marble basin as they bounced around his skull. Hoping that the dual burst of synesthesia could keep him anchored as he worked through everything little thing that had happened between him getting back to the office, and tucking Celestia in for the night, without the fear of being swept away.

Just breathe, he thought as the white noise roared all around him, helping him stay steady, Where is this coming from? Why is this bothering me? Why now?

Clearly, Celestia had at some point, thrown him off kilter, as he couldn't focus on any particular moment he had shared with her this evening without getting an overly emotional kick in the dick from either end of the spectrum:

Her smile when he had gotten back to the office: she wants me here-don’t get attached!

Celestia’s rage during his game: don't leave me-she’s...sorry?!

The scent of chocolate on her breath as she embraced him: don't let go-she's not my family!

The teasing nuzzling: stop giving me hope-more please!

And let us not forget she was nak-, Matthias reached up and turned off the cold, letting the shock of heat snuff that thought out completely, scraping together enough sense to recognize the catalyst for tonight's featured freak out.

Don't go there…

Drunk, err, sugar crashed actions don't equal sober thoughts...

She’s my friend…

I'm her pity project…

Remember, you ain't worth it...

Compounding these absolutely sunny thoughts was the face in the mirror looking back at him, once he'd had enough of the waterworks. Panacea had described the scarring as third-degree mana burns, which made little sense considering magic did exactly dick to him, and that the top epidermal layers along the left side of his body had all but melted away. And yes, while she and her crew had done their damnedest to try and mend and mask the damage, the extent and range of the injury, however, plus the limited options available for treatment, didn't exactly leave much left to be desired.

He had been somewhat lucky though. As whatever it was that had done this to him had missed his eyelid, so even though he had to draw his eyebrow back on each morning, he could at least, for the most part, sleep at night...

How did Two-Face sleep with one eye open like that? Meh, I'll ask Bob Kane when I get the stones to finally jump…Huh, nothing? Guess I'm good now.

...and the flesh was still somewhat soft and could pick up sensations, he had just wound up looking like Vincent Price at the end of House of Wax.

Well, it's better than Vincent Price as Dr. Phibes.

Figuring that if he was well enough to be making obscure comic book and movie references, he was well enough to be there for Luna, only for his head to suddenly drop back into his hands, and a frustrated groan to slip from his lips, as the tonal whiplash finally caught up with him:

Dammit, this yo-yo, drop of the hat, bullshit needs to stop, he thought as Manic and Depressive started fighting for control of the steering wheel again.

Hoping he could put his senseless dread and pitying aside, and get his shit together for Luna, Matthias started shaking his head back and forth like a dog who had just spent the better part of thirty minutes in the tub. Splattering the mirror with a Pollock of water dropplets while rattling M and D just enough for them to get the message and share.

Going over to the towel dispenser, actual cotton, not paper, because Canterlot ponies didn't do things halfway when it came to fancy, Matthias finished drying his hair off and gave himself once last once over in the mirror.

After tucking in Celestia for the night and locking up at the Office of Solar Affairs, he had swung back by his room to take a quick shower and pick out a fresh set of clothes. In hindsight, dousing himself with warm water probably wasn't the best way to level out his heated thoughts, but the castle was plugged into a natural hot spring, and there was no chance in Hell he wasn't going to abuse the fuck out of that.

No cold water! Never again!

For clothes, he had chosen to swap out his sodden solar attire for an all black dress shirt-suit combo with a midnight blue gradient tie, something a bit more subdued, and with a color scheme more akin with that of Night Court’s. Checking to make sure no spillover from his coping had gotten onto his suit, he twirled about in a circle, only spotting a couple of scuffs leftover from his attack on the bridge, which he brushed off with little fuss or fanfare. Confident that he once again looked the part of the in control professional, he set off from the lavatory with a renewed vigor and purpose, ready to perform his duties for Night Court.

And by duties, he meant fuck around with Luna until she shooed him off to bed.

Luna’s court, much like the celestial body she dragged across the sky, was barren and devoid of life, as despite her status as princess and living embodiment of Balance and Harmony, Luna’s standing with her subjects was... dubious at best, what with the whole locked away for a thousand years as a living nightmare thing. As such, not many of the traditionally diurnal ponies bothered coming to see their nocturnal diarch, either out of long-standing fears or viewing her as superfluous, choosing rather to rely on the wisdom and counsel of her solar sister instead.

Which wasn’t to imply that she offered no council or played no role in either the Equestrian diarchy or cosmology, as matters relating to nightmare monitoring and warding, lunar-tide alignment, and eventide surveillance, all fell under her domain as the Princess of the Night. There were also circumstances that fell under the purview of both the Solar and Lunar Princesses, such as treaties and trade agreements between other nations, as well as motions and legislation whose rulings would have lasting impacts over the entirety of Equestria, which would require the approval of both sisters before they could be enacted.

Which was where Matthias’s services came in, as his haphazard sleep schedule allowed him to easily gopher between both princesses, and keep them up to date and in sync with the comings and goings of their respective courts. However, where Matthias was more an assistant to Celestia, running errands for her and making sure she didn't overlook anything during marathon billing sessions, he served more as an advisor for Luna, acting as a tabula rasa for her to practice and implement some of the more modern social cues and interactions she had learned with Matthias during their weekly tutoring sessions with Twilight, without any fear or judgement from the other party. Oh sure, he helped her bust through paperwork and ran mail for her as well, but, more often than not, most nights with Luna wound up with them just shootin’ the shit while enjoying each other's company.

Wonder what'll be on the docket tonight? Matthias pondered, giving a couple Lunar Guards a wave as he passed by, but they seemed more interested in some low grade *clicks* bouncing down the halls, judging by the way their ears were shifting about.

Luna did seem really keen on showing me what she's got planned for tomorrow night's sky. Should probably go well with the cake, he mused while shifting the bag he'd been carrying in his unmarred right hand.

Maybe I should drop the “night-sky-is-the-natural-default-on-Earth” bomb I've been saving, he snickered, picturing that cocked head, wide-eyed look she always gave when excited by something she couldn’t quite grasp or believe.

But we've still gotta give these things a once over. Maybe we should get them sorted first? He thought with a sigh, checking to make sure the documents Celestia had handed to him weren’t crinkled or anything as he rounded the corner, finding himself in The Great Hall.

As was custom, the decals of the palace interior had been swapped out for adornments more befitting the Princess of the Night's court. Gone were the planters full of daffodils and white roses, replaced instead with urns of dark purple lavender and deep blue lilies. All across the hall, evenly placed torches cast a pale blue light over the polished marble floor, soaking the room in a peaceful, dream-like bloom. While high above, floating about the rafters, bright white crystals burned with a soft silver glow, shifting about to form the various constellations Luna had taught Matthias over the course of their many nights together.

And, if all else fails, seeing her sister on the verge of a nervous breakdown outta do wonders for…

“PLEASE YOUR HIGHNESS, WE BESEECH YOU!”

OR WE COULD DEAL WITH THAT! he thought in a panic, hauling ass towards the end of the hall as if somebody had lit a fire under his nuts.

Hugging the chamber’s outer walls, so as not to disrupt whatever proceedings were happening, Matthias skidded to a halt near where the princesses greeted their guests, hoping he could piece together just what in the unholy hell was going on. Spying a pony couple, who were clearly not having the best of days, illuminated by the moonlit murals lining the room as they kneeled before the Princess of the Night.

“P-Princess Luna, please, it's been hours and we don't know what to do!” cried a sky blue earth pony mare, whose cloud-grey, shoulder-length mane, was steadily fraying in real time with her escalating distress. She was doing a commendable job trying to keep herself together, however her subtle shaking, and stifled sniffles, betrayed just how close to the edge she really was. Huddled next to her was a black and yellow pegasus stallion, doing his best to comfort her by wrapping her in his wings and running his hands along her shoulders. If it had been any other circumstance, it might have been funny, seeing the svelte little pegasus holding up the sturdy looking earth pony, but the way his body never broke away from hers, in spite of his own trembling, and the way his wings simultaneously held her up and guarded her against any further anguish, was damn admirable, and spoke volumes of his dedication to his mare.

Luna, on the other hand, had all the poise and terrifying dignity of a timberwolf staring down its prey. Sitting upon the throne that she shared with her sister, the Second Princess of Equestria regarded her subjects with a rigid impassivity that mirrored the severity of her posture, never once giving any hints as to what may be stirring behind her burning, blue eyes. At her side, maintaining a strictness of form equal to her own, black-clad thestrals stood at the ready, both to protect her from anypony brazen enough to incur the wrath of a time-displaced force of nature, and to execute any command their diarch would have of them.

But no orders were given, however, as ever since the earth pony’s panicked plea, no audible sound had pierced the throne room’s deaden calm, the agonizing quiet even choking out the poor mare’s muffled sobbing. As they waited for an answer to their entreaty, the poor pony couple could only shiver in place, beaten beneath the quiet ferocity of Luna’s searing gaze, hoping against hope that their ruler would offer them the aid they seemed so desperate for. Or, at the very least, that she wouldn't unleash a horde of nightmares upon them for any perceived insolence. Hell, even the famed thestrals of Luna’s Honor Guard couldn't help but fidget in place, unsure of what to expect from the formerly deranged demigoddess they had sworn to protect and serve, having never born witness to a ruling from the Princess of the Night.

Yet all Luna did was sit and stare. She didn't move, she didn't twitch, hell from Matthias’s vantage, he could swear she didn't even blink, all she did was look right through the prostrating ponies as if scrutinizing their very hearts and souls. In fact, the only signs that she was even alive were the subtle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, and the rapid-fire shifting of her eyes as they jumped from pony to pony.

Alright Luna, what's your play here? Matthias wondered, beginning to worry as he started fiddling with his collar and tie, the Hall’s oppressive atmosphere having finally caught up with him.

But as her eyes continued to frenetically dance about the proceedings playing out before her, Luna finally spied Matthias waiting in the wings, and, for the briefest of seconds, her features softened and relaxed, the entire hall seeming to brighten as if the light of the moon had come out from behind the clouds.

“Minister Matthias, thy timing is most fortuitous! Please approach as we would have thy wisdom and counsel forthwith!”

Ye Olde Equestrian and my real name?! Fuck she's terrified! Matthias realized as he approached the throne, though to be fair, she wasn't alone in that regard.

Turning to see who their princess was talking to, the kneeling ponies visibly flinched at Matthias’s approach, the near frantic earth pony freezing like a deer in the headlights, while her stallion wrapped his wings around her even tighter, twisting his body so he could put himself between her and the encroaching human.

The balls on this one, he thought with a bemused sigh, admiring the stallion’s tenacity and protective nature, however misdirected it might have been.

Fortunately for everypony involved, Luna didn't seem to notice the disrespectful display, now that her focus rested solely on Matthias, otherwise a couple someponies would have found themselves Fus Ro Dah’ed out of the nearest window by the Royal Canterlot Voice.

He really couldn't fault them their trepidations though, as despite having lived amongst the ponies for the past eight months, he hadn't exactly made a habit out of leaving the castle grounds, finding Canterlot to be a bit too kinetic for his tastes. As such, he was never really seen out and about the town, unless he was out on business or with Twilight hunting down a new book for his ever-expanding library. Really, the only extended exposure the populace as a whole had had to Matthias was the press release held when he had fully recovered, with all three of Equestria’s princesses standing before the throne, welcoming him in a mutual display of friendship and acceptance. Sure he had had to bow before them, much to Luna and Twilight’s chagrin, but Celestia believed that such a display would help alleviate any concerns their little ponies would have with a hereto unknown type of carnivore now living amongst them.

So, in an effort to show the panicking pair of ponies that he meant no harm, and to help make his friend feel more comfortable, Matthias fell back on the one thing he knew would best diffuse the tension and settle everypony down, TRADITION.

“I serve at the pleasure of the moon and the sun,” he pronounced, dropping to a knee with a bow, reciting the old pledge Luna had taught him, waiting for his Princess to acknowledge him. The reactions around the room varied: the shaking ponies seemed to relax some at his show of loyalty to the crown, the guards around them had to do a double take, having never seen the weird alien give any respect to nobility, let alone bow to anypony before, and Luna seemed to be equal parts relieved and remorseful, if her eyes widening then suddenly shifting to study the floor was anything to go by.

“Rise, my friend, we have not the time for such formalities, as much as they are appreciated,” she said while stepping down to meet her friend, planting a midnight blue hand upon his shoulder, giving him his cue to rise.

“Forgive me, your highness, I figured a little decorum would be appropriate given the circumstances,” he apologized while picking himself off the ground. Once up, he gave her a stately half bow and a toothy grin, one that made a few of the greener guards flinch and reach for their blades, only for their CO to shoot them a few barely audible *clicks*, ordering them to stand down before they got their shit kicked in by their ward.

“Mine forgiveness and thine apologies are neither necessary nor required,” she said, returning his smile with a subtle smirk of her own, “We have need only of thine insight and perspective this evening, though I wish thou would cease in thine endless lamentations,” she said pulling him closer and offering him her hand, whispering so as to conceal her mirth, “as often as thou ask for reparations, We would think thou were making amends for thine own existence.”

“Heh, sorry Luna,” he laughed before taking her hand and planting a quick peck on her knuckles, cutting off any further snark and earning himself a choked chuckle from the nightly mare.

From then on, whatever remaining tension faded away like a bad dream. Luna no longer looked like she was overseeing an execution, the guards regained their stony aloofness, even the poor ponies kneeling before them, though not exactly calmed or soothed, had lost that look of “we’re about to be skull fucked by a parade of never-ending nightmares” most ponies tended to wear in Luna’s presence.

But despite the initial lull, Matthias still kept an eye trained on Luna, as he could see she was still fairly frazzled from actually having to host somepony. Her stature and movements remained somewhat stiff, and her mannerisms were still that adorable blend of archaic and modern sensibilities. So, as much as he would have liked to drop the regalities and be there for her as a friend, he decided to uphold his more formal demeanor, in a show of solidarity with his princess, demonstrating both his respect for her and to her station.

However, just as Matthias was taking stock of Luna, she was taking stock of him, her eyes roaming across his larger build to see how well he was holding up being thrust into such an unfamiliar situation. But as she continued to regard her friend, she paused in her scrutiny, her eyebrows shooting up with barely a quiver, but to Matthias, she may as well have been screaming.

Ruh-roh

Matthis knew that look, it was one he had grown quite familiar with since the start of his unique friendship with Luna. If one were to summarize it, it would roughly translate to “What happened and whose cunt do I need to punt?”

Thankfully, before Luna could launch into her interrogation, Matthias happened to catch a slight shiver out of the corner of his eye. Sparing a glance to the pair of panicked ponies still huddled against each other on the floor, he realized that they still had a job to do and moved to redirect Luna back to the task at hand.

“How may I be of service to the court this evening?”

Luna’s worried visage shifted as she was reminded of her responsibilities, “Indeed, foul deeds are ahoof this night. Matthias Martin, may I present to you Dame Puddle Jumper and Sir Yellow Jacket of Canterlot, who have laid a most troubling concern before the court.

He gave the couple a preliminary appraisal, hoping to get a read on who these ponies were:

1. Puddle Jumper (Stargate much?!)
2. Mismatched business/formal wear (Definitely didn’t expect to be here this evening)
3. Clutching her purse like it’s all she has left (Comforting gesture, what has she lost?)
4. Slight matting and discoloration around her hands (Works with water or chemicals)
5. Smells like antiseptic and talcum powder (Hair Dresser?)

1. Yellow Jacket (Bit on the nose with that one)
2. Still trembling (Not scared, exhausted)
3. Coat over uniform (Hasn’t been home to change)
4. Inflammation along the left of his neck (Bug bites?)
5. Scent of sweat and honey (Beekeeper?)

The pony couple once more found themselves on edge at being back in the center of attention, with Puddle Jumper tensing up, only for Yellow Jacket to resume his earlier ministrations, helping to put his mare at ease. His efforts seemed to pay off somewhat, as her shaking ceased slightly. Turning towards her stallion, she offered him a loving smile and a quick nuzzle before mustering her courage and speaking:

“Ye-yes, it's our daughter, Sea Star,” she said, pulling out a picture from her bag, “she never came home from school today! We've checked at her friends’ houses, gone to where she hangs out, we even stopped by her school to see if she’d gotten caught up in another one of her projects, and nopony’s seen hide nor hair of her!”

Hoping to alleviate the mare’s returning tension, Matthias dropped down into a squatting position, bringing himself eye level with her. He was a little bit worried though, having decided to leave behind the little half-mask he wore to cover the mangled portion of his face whenever his duties required him to make a public appearance. Luna had repeatedly told him that she didn't like seeing him hide his face, so as much as he enjoyed the “The Phantom of the Opera” vibe he gave off while wearing it, (Gerard Butler not Lon Chaney) he never had a reason to bring it with him once he was finished with Day Court.

Giving the pair a warm, closed-lip smile, so as not to freak them out by baring pointed teeth at them, he extended them a hand, “Hello, I’m Matthias and it’s a pleasure to meet you, I just wish it was under better circumstances.”

The mare hesitated for a second before grasping his hand, whether recognizing he wasn't actually a threat or just out of propriety, Matthias wasn't sure, so he decided to take as risk, and brought his other hand over to grasp her’s in both of his, “Hey, everything's going to be okay, the Princess and I will do everything in our power to bring Sea Star home safe and sound.

One of the things Matthias had had to get used to since coming to Equestria was just how... tactile ponies could be. Really intimate gestures, such as hand holding, hugging, and kissing, were perfectly acceptable amongst even the most distant of acquaintances, so he had to be real careful about misinterpreting the signals sent by the princesses, or the few guards he'd frequent the pubs near the castle with. He had actually found himself adapting fairly quickly, as he’d always enjoyed the warmth and presence that came with sharing a touch with friends and family growing up. But as endearing as such actions are when you're eight, it starts to become creepy once you cross into the tens, and it had only taken a few homophobic slurs, and some well-placed blows to the head, for him to get the message and drop that habit.

Fortunately for Matthias, his gamble paid off, as the mare’s terrified trembling ceased, being replaced with a relief that racked her to her core, causing her to grip his hand even tighter.

“Thank you, *sniff* thank you!” she said with a teary-eyed smile.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, earth pony’s got gains, holy shit!

He continued beaming them a warm smile as he stood up, bringing the mare to her hooves, followed closely by her husband. Releasing her hands, Matthias ventured a glance down at the photo of the lost filly, “May I?” he asked, holding out his hand.

“Oh, of course,” she said while handing over the photo, recognizing what he had been asking for.

It was a simple shot of a sand-colored pegasus filly, with a dual-toned sea green and white mane, fluttering through the treetops of what Matthias assumed to be a botanical garden of sorts. Dressed in a white sundress and hat, her shining green eyes held untold amounts of joy and wonder, as a group of butterflies circled around her, some flying alongside her while others tried to land on the flowers decorating her hat. In the background, he could see her father frantically trying to keep up with her from below, ready to catch her should anything cause her to drop, yet unable to stop grinning at the sight of his daughter dancing with the dozens of new friends she had made.

“She's beautiful,” Matthias said, the sheer amount of love and joy radiating from the still making him feel all warm and fuzzy, although something about the little filly was knocking something loose from that burning bookshelf he called his mind.

“Thank you, she’s our little treasure,” she sighed, love and nostalgia warring with worry and fear across her face.

“May I see as well?” Luna asked, scooting over to Matthias.

“Wh-why of course, your highness,” the yellow pegasus said, speaking up for the first time this evening, “you don't even need to..."

“Of course I need your permission,” Luna scoffed, sounding almost offended, “the bond between royal and subject pales before that of parent and child.”

Floored by their ruler's reaction, both ponies turned to each other, before giving her a confused, if not awestruck, nod of consent.

Leaning over Matthias’s shoulder, Luna peered down at the photo, attempting to get a better look at the missing filly, but given their relative heights, she couldn’t quite get the right angle, so all she succeeded in doing was draping herself across him. Not wanting her to appear incompetent in front of her subjects, he moved the photo over to his other hand and held it up for her to see, expecting Luna to take it. But, much to his surprise, Luna held her position and, if anything, leaned into him harder, so she could further study the photo.

Huh...

But before Matthias could speak up, Luna broke away from him to address her ponies, taking the photo with her.

“We are quite familiar with this little one, she is quite the bright and studious pony. I often find her gallivanting about in such a dreamscape as this while on my nightly jaunts through the Realm of Dreams,” she said, returning the filly’s photo to her parents.

Puddle Jumper took back her daughter’s photo graciously, “Thank you, Princess Luna,” she said, the compliments to her daughter and her concern for her well-being, crushing whatever fears she had left of her nocturnal diarch.

There you go Lu! Matthias cheered internally, glad to see how well his friend was turning things around. Sure she was still slipping in and out of the royal “we,” but she was showing her subjects the care and compassion they needed while maintaining the strength and confidence they expected of royalty. Wanting to keep the momentum going, Matthias made to see what assistance he could offer:

“Have the guards been informed of the situation?”

“That they have,” Luna answered, “unfortunately with the size and complexities of the city’s layout, we've yet to determine where to begin our search. We were just about to discuss possible search patterns and procedures when you arrived.”

Both ponies reeled back in joyous surprise, “You, you mean you’ll help us?” Yellow Jacket asked, having to lean on his wife for support this time, all vestiges of fear and doubt finally erased from his features.

“Why of course! What kind of princess would I be if I didn’t lend the aid of my station to mine subjects?”

“But wait, when did you give the order?” he questioned, not remembering seeing her speak to any of the intense looking bat ponies surrounding her.

Luna gave the stallion a knowing smile, before lifting up two fingers with a gentle flick of her wrist. Almost immediately, a series of clicks began to echo across the room, traveling down the Great Hall and out into the rest of the castle.

“Much like how my sister’s guards reflect her strength and luminescence, mine reflect our precision and subtlety. From the moment you laid your plea before us, steps were being taken to ensure your daughter’s safe return,” she explained as the quiet clicking continued to bounce around the castle, Puddle and Yellow’s ears and eyes darting about trying to find and track their source, “We just needed first to establish a starting point and perimeter to most efficiently track her down.

Matthias nodded, Good call. Can't waste man...pony (dammit) power and have patrols tripping over each other.

Noticing his approval, Luna turned to Matthias, “Have you any insight that may aid us in our endeavor, friend Matthias?”

Alright, let's see what we can do!

“I am not particularly well versed in the search and rescue protocols of your division, so there is little I can offer in that regard, however, with your permission, Princess, I'd like to ask our guests some questions, to see if we can possibly narrow down a search area.

She regarded him quietly before giving him a nod, “You have our blessing.”

With the go-ahead given, Matthias turned to Puddle Jumper and Yellow Jacket, “Alright everypony, if it's alright with you fine folks, I'd like to ask you a few questions, to see if we can figure out a good place to start our search for Sea Star.”

Both ponies eyed each other nervously before answering, “Of course, ask us anything you think might help.”

“Splendid! Now, some of these questions may seem a little out of left field, and some may border on the personal side, but please keep in mind, this is all to help find your daughter.”

They shared one more worried glance before grabbing each other’s hands, “Alright, what would you like to know?”

“Your household’s gross annual income?”

Both ponies blinked in confusion, just staring at Matthias as if he’d grown a second head before his request seemed to click with Yellow Jacket:

“Oh, uh about 200,000 bits a year.”

“What are your professions?”

“I'm a stylist at The Mane Event in the upper ward,” answered the blue earth pony.

“And I'm the Head Beekeeper at Longhouse Meadery,” her husband spoke up.

Sometimes I like being me.

Turning to Puddle Jumper, he asked, “Does your shop have any notable clientele?”

“Uh no, we’re catered more to the average pony, although there was that time Miss Rarity came by.”

“Were you the one, or are you close to, the pony who serviced her?”

“Oh no, I wasn't there the day she came in, and the stylist who worked on her is no longer employed with us.”

Satisfied with what she had given him, he turned his attention towards Yellow Jacket.

“What are your duties at the meadery?”

“I oversee the apiaries, everything from the health of the bees to honey production.”

“Anything involving the brewing process?”

“No, I'm an entomologist specializing in Apis mellifera. Once they get the honey it’s back to the fields for me.

“Has any other brewery contacted you with a job offer?

“No, I’m quite happy where I am at Longhouse.”

“I didn’t ask if you were happy where you are. I asked if any other brewery has contacted you with a job offer. Now, have they or have they not?!”

The stallion flinched at his intensity, but quickly steeled himself before answering Matthias, “No, I have not been contacted by another brewing company.”

Matthias studied the stallion, examining every twitch and tick of his face and body before concluding he was telling him the truth.

Alright, got our bases covered there.

“When was Sea Star supposed to be home?

Yellow Jacket hesitated for a moment at the sudden shift in topics, “She... she doesn't have a curfew.”

“Did she say when she would be back?”

“No. She said she'd be out with her friends after school let out. But she's never been gone this long.”

“Are her friends missing as well?”

“We've contacted most of her friends’ parents, and they haven't seen or heard from them either.”

“Are they of the same economic station as yourselves?”

“What do you mean?” Puddle Jumper questioned.

“Are any of her friends’ families of a wealthy or noble nature,” Luna asked, adding her voice to the conversation and instantly becoming the center of attention, “or do they hold any positions of significant merit?”

“Not that I’m aware of, your majesty. Just your typical blend of patrol ponies, stall vendors, and tax lawyers,” Yellow Jacket answered, on behalf of his shocked wife.

“Amongst her friends is she more likely to lead or follow?”

“In what way?”

“Is she more likely to instigate group activities or is she more inclined to follow along with the group?” Matthias asked, hopping aboard Luna’s train of thought.

“Oh, okay, it's fairly even. One’ll suggest something one day then another will put forward something the next.”

“Was it her turn to take the lead?”

“I'm not sure…”

“Wait!” Puddle Jumper chimed in, “She did say she wanted to do something with the girls after school!”

“Good catch. Alright, where does she go to school?”

“Bunsen & Burner Academy of Sciences, just West of the castle.”

Matthias had to do a double-take at that one, the puns are strong with this one. “Thank you. Now, what are her interests outside of school?”

“Pardon?”

“Her likes. Is she into sports? What kind of music does she listen to? Does she read or write? What kinds of restaurants does she frequent?”

“WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!” Yellow Jacket yelled, his mounting frustration having reached the boiling point, “This is a waste of time, she could be in trouble while we're all blathering on about nothing! we should be out there looking for her not-"

“And where do you suggest we start looking?” Luna asked, curtly cutting him off.

“Your majesty?”

“Take this as no offense to thy stations, but together thou do not yield any significant wealth to be appropriated through ransom, so friend Matthias is now simply trying to establish if thy daughter may not simply have gotten caught up in some such revelry that hath caught her eye, and possibly determine where in the city she might have gone, so that we may start our search there.”

Rattled by her words, the stallion acquiesced, “She likes to read. A lot. Like, she'll tear through an entire series in a weekend.”

“Filly after my own heart,” he said, admiring the kid’s drive, “Now, what does she read?”

“Oh, uhhh Daring Do, Silverwing, Tales from the Frontier, but I don't see…”

“Since she has a proclivity towards genre fiction, we will focus on areas that retail in such, and avoid locales with stores only specializing in textbooks, magical theory, or research articles,” Luna interrupted.

“Oh, of course.”

“So, does she have any other interests besides books?”

“N-not really, our little starfish is quite the little bookworm,” Puddle Jumper spoke up, her lips tugging up at the corners as she recalled all the times she had to explain to her daughter why she couldn’t bring her wagon to the library.

“Okay then, does she have a sweet tooth.”

“Heh, more like a whole jaw,” Yellow chuckled nostalgically.

“Candy or baked goods?”

“*Snort*, All cupcakes fear the name Sea Star.”

There we go! Matthias thought as he met his secondary objective. As aside from forming a basic profile of the filly, he had hoped the questions would get the ponies to focus on who their daughter was and what made her special, and not about what might have happened to her.

“Alright, I think we've got enough to work with here!” he said, causing everypony in the Hall to perk up, “Now, can somepony bring me a ma-”

But before he could finish, the lights in the hall began to dim, their luster beginning to coalesce in the middle of the floor in front of where Matthias stood. Rising from the ground, threads of moon and starlight began to stitch and weave themselves together, forming a wireframe model of the cliffside capital. Looking to his right, Matthias found Luna channeling magic into her horn, mixing it in with the light of her charge, so she could give form and function to the miniature model of Canterlot.

“Thank you, milady.”

“You are most welcome.”

He nodded and reached into his coat, pulling out the quill Luna had gifted him those many months ago, drawing another startled gasp from the two ponies and some of the younger guards.

“Can somepony point me in the direction of the Academy? I'm afraid I don't get out much,” he said sheepishly.

The model city began to melt and twist, shifting from a 3d cityscape to a 2d top-down perspective, “Here you are Matthias,” Luna said, pointing him in the right direction.

“You are my rock,” Matthias said, grinning as Luna did her best to try and hide her blush. He walked around the edge of the map and drew an X made of starlight over where the school was located, “Now, would one of you be so kind as to show me where you live?”

Yellow Jacket, for the first time this evening, broke away from Puddle Jumper and walked over to meet Matthias, but not before giving her a gentle nuzzle and a quick kiss on the lips. He was of average height for a stallion, but he appeared positively scrawny standing next to Matthias, the top of his head only coming up to his nose, while being able to hide himself completely against Matthias’s broad frame.

This had been another major adjustment Matthias had had to make upon waking up in Equestria, as for the majority of his life he had needed to look up at everybody around him in order to make eye contact. Now, surrounded by a sea of brightly colored pony people, he found himself looking down all the time, towering over just about everypony, save for Celestia and the most burly of her ponies.

“Here’s our home,” Yellow Jacket said, pointing out an unassuming square south of the school.

“Thank you,” Matthias said, adding another X to the map, “now, let’s see...,” he began sorting through every midnight outing with Luna, every book excursion with Twilight, and every cake run with Celestia, trying to translate the memories of his time outside the castle onto the map. Filling in squares and rectangles he recognized as the bakeries and bookstores they frequented, leaving the shops that didn’t align with Sea Star’s interests blank.

Stepping around the map’s perimeter, Matthias started circling the most brightly lit sections, capping it all off with one last circle, using the X’s representing where the house and school were located to form its diameter.

Oh you have got to be kidding me… he thought, realization dawning on him with all the gentle force and subtlety of a flaming ice-cream truck crashing into him as he finally understood why that filly had looked so familiar.

Convinced he had done all he could, Matthias put his quill away, before turning and speaking to Luna:

“If you would have my wisdom, your majesty, I would begin the search for Sea Star within these areas,” he advised, pointing out the parts of the map where the circles surrounding the filled in sections would overlap with the one encapsulating the house and school. “They not only contain the highest concentration of elements most likely to attract her but given their proximity both to her home and school, it is more likely she would have ventured to these locations over any other.”

Luna looked over the marked-up model before nodding, “And what of these non-overlapping portions?” she asked, pointing to the regions that didn’t intersect, “Should we not search there as well?”

“No, we should look into them too, however, given the amount of time left in the day after school lets out, it would make more sense for Sea Star and her friends to stick to areas closer to either the school or her home, so they could maximize the amount of time browsing and shopping, while saving the more outlying shops for the upcoming weekend, where they wouldn’t have to worry about closing times or making it home after dark.”

Content with his answer, Luna willed a blank roll of paper into existence with a burst of silver fire before unraveling it and lifting it above her head. Channeling power into her horn once more, Luna began wrapping the starlit miniature of Canterlot in a veil of her azure magic, raising it off the ground and into the air before condensing and bending the construct into a single point of near-blinding light. But just before its glare could become too intense, she slammed the white-hot blur of swirling blue and silver down into the parchment, revealing a perfect, if not slightly singed, layout of the city burned onto its surface, along with all the alterations Matthias had added.

“Captain Starry Night,” Luna called to a familiar looking thestral guardsmare standing to the right of the throne. Snapping to attention, the navy blue bat pony gave her princess a salute, before taking off from her perch with a powerful flap of her wings, landing in a bow beside her Princess.

“Ma’am!?” the mare answered, her response both terse and professional.

“Have copies of these distributed to the commanders of Echo, Fox, Ghost, and Shade companies,” she ordered, handing the map over to the captain of her guard, “Tell them we’re to begin Missing Mare Maneuvers within the next twenty minutes.”

“At once, your majesty,” she said, rising to receive her orders.

“Um, Princess Luna?” Puddle Jumper asked in a hesitant voice.

“What is it, Dame Jumper?” Luna asked in the warmest voice she could muster, trying not to startle the suddenly timid mare.

“If... if it’ll help at all,” the frail sounding mare spoke up, her hands tensing around her daughter’s picture, “y-you can…”

“There’s no need,” Luna interrupted, gently gripping her hands, “I would never ask you to part with such a memento, but if I may borrow it for but a moment.”

The mare relaxed knowing she wouldn’t have to give up her precious keepsake and handed it over to Luna. After pulling a whole ream of parchment out of the ether, the princess began tossing the blank pages liberally into the air around her, the papers somehow sticking to the sky as if they were hanging from some phantom bulletin board. With the documents spread out to her liking, Luna sat back and assumed a lotus position. An impressive feat, considering the only chair in the Great Hall was the throne, and it was some thirty feet behind her. Hovering about two and a half feet off the ground, the Princess of the Night gingerly gripped the photo of Sea Star in both hands and began running her magic into it, letting the power build up for a bit, before allowing it to travel back up her body and into her horn. Once it reached the tip, her magic began to unravel into hundreds of silver-white threads, each one grabbing hold of one of the pages encircling her. The arcane energies beginning to burn away lines and layers of paper while adding colors and depth with each pulse of mana coursing through her little body. Slowly forming, much to Matthias’ amazement, a vague outline of the filly in the photo.

“You holdin’ up alright there, Fry Face?”

Matthias nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt somepony’s hot breath and soft lips brush against his ear. Thankfully, everypony in the room was too focused on Luna’s Xerox impersonation to pay him much mind. Though that didn’t keep his accoster from snickering beneath her breath at the totally not girly, completely manly, could in no way shape or form be misconstrued for a squeak, grunt that slipped past his lips. Those snickers nearly breaking into full-blown cackles when Matthias turned and shot Luna’s Captain of the Guard a withering glare.

Starry Night was one of the... odder ponies to have ingratiated themselves into Matthias’ new normality. At all of four-foot-nine, the perky little ball of navy-blue fuzz was an odd mix of slap-happy spunk and near fanatical devotion. Who was just as ready to execute a breach and clear in order to drag Matthias by his ankles out to the Sword and Shield, as she was ready to throw a bag of powdered glass in the eyes of somepony giving her, or somebody under her, shit. Which had gone a long ways towards breaking the ice with some of the more leery guards in both the Loons and the Sols, as well as making some of his more outspoken critics amongst the nobility hold their tongues, even when the princesses weren't around.

But at the same time, she was pretty much in a dead heat with Twilight for the most attempts on his life since waking up in Canterlot, accidental or otherwise. As she had taken it upon herself to whip Matthias into what she liked to call, “giant-hulking-anti-magical-alien-meat-shield-shape,” after seeing how much time Matthias had been spending with her princess each night. Ensuring he was kept physically up to snuff by drilling him within an inch of his life every Wednesday, and mentally by ghosting him out of nowhere to try and catch him off guard. Which, nine times out ten, he could usually see coming, he just never would have expected her to be daring enough to come at him in the middle of Night Court, within earshot of the pony she had sworn everlasting fealty to.

“Jesus, Snaggle Puss, Luna really needs put a bell on you or something!” he hissed out, trying not to draw any more unwanted attention to himself as he tried to will his heart rate down to something more manageable. Pulling some more giggles out of chin-high thestral.

“Oh?! So, the big ape likes his mares with a ring around their neck, eh?” She asked cheekily, shooting him her trademark snaggle-toothed grin. “Alright then, next time I get some leave, I'll be sure to grab a couple chokers to help spice up our Wednesdays. Heck, maybe having a pretty piece a tail to chase after on the pitch’ll make laps less of a chore for ya?”

Matthias quirked his one good eyebrow at the mare before cocking his head to the side and crossing his arms. Shooting her a look that just screamed really before pointing up to the scarred looking skin poking through the collar of his shirt. Causing the navy blue thestral to turn a shade of a yale:

“Ahh empty night!” she said sighing dejectedly as she snuck an armor-clad hand up to drop her helmet’s visor over her face, her ears flattening against her skull. “Too soon?”

“Too soon,” he parroted back at her, causing the tiny little bat pony to blush and shrink in on herself. An impressive feat, given both her height and the fact she was decked head to hoof in obsidian plate mail.

However, whatever indignation he felt at her little slip of the tongue all but melted away when he saw her start trembling, the light shaking causing her armor to rattle slightly.

Well, shit, he thought as he started scratching at the back of his neck, watching as one of the few friends he’d manage to make while in Equestria, one who was actually willing to push him both physically and emotionally, and not treat him like he was made of glass or something, begin to lose it over something as little as mild vexation on his part. So, not wanting to torment the mare any more than he already had, he plopped a hand atop her head, snapping her out of her funk as it were, before sliding it down to fiddle with her ear.

"Although, if you are gonna go doll yourself up for my sake, I’d stick with whites or lights over darks or blacks. Lights’ll pop really well with your coat whereas darks’ll either get lost or come off as, ‘daddy didn't pay enough attention to me growing up.’”

“O-Oi, let’s *rrggh* let's keep a civil bucking house here, aight! Don't *grunt* don't be bringing the rents inta this,” she warned, trying her best to seem both imposing and in control of the situation, despite her pressing her head more into his hand, hoping for more scritches.

“Ma’am, yes ma’am!” he affirmed amusedly, but rather than snap to and salute her, he slipped his other hand up beneath her chin and began scratching along the underside of her muzzle. Drawing an adorable hybrid purr/squeak from the second in command of the Lunar Division.

“Rggh buck me mate, what -don’t you bucking stop- what kinda horrorshow did Sun Butt sit you through to get you so handsy?”

“Whaddya mean,” he asked, slowing his scratching a bit, only for Starry to start nuzzling into his hand to pick up his slack.

“I mean the only time you ever start the foreplay is when somepony's well and truly knocked you off your rocker,” she explained while gripping his hands. “Now come here and let me see the damage,” she asked out of courtesy but gave him no time to actually consent before she pulled him down and started scrutinizing his face. Letting out an irritated *huff* before giving her thumb a lick and mussing up his hair.

“What are you-”

“Look, the boss’s been a little rattled since breakfast, and Harmony knows how much actually having to do something constructive has teed her up. So I'm going to need you to work that weird alien monkey magic you got to try and keep her settled, and it’s gonna be hard doing that if it looks like you just marched through ten miles of Tartarus,” she explained, letting him go once she felt he was up to snuff.

“What do you mean ra-”

“Captain Knight,” rang Luna’s imperious call throughout the hall, cutting off Matthias’ question and snapping Starry back into knight mode.

“Ma’am?”

Walking back over to the Captain of her Guard, Luna handed her the stack of newly formed faux photos, “Be sure each member of the search party receives a copy of this, after giving their commanders the search parameters.”

Starry received the new documents and gave her Princess an affirmative, before walking off and signaling for her subordinates to make ready with a flick of her wrist and some rhythmic *clicks.*

Turning back to Puddle Jumper and Yellow Jacket, Luna gave them a small smile before addressing them, “Do not fret my little ponies, by the end of the evening your daughter will be returned to you safe and sound,” she said, returning their daughter's photo and laying a hand on both their shoulders.

“Thank you, Princess Luna,” Puddle Jumper cheered, both ponies nearly collapsing from the weight lifted off their chests as if the fear and tension brought about by the thought of never seeing their daughter again were the only things holding them up.

“I am here at the service of my subjects. Now you should both head home to await any further updates.”

“But Princess Luna, we can't just sit by and do nothing!” Yellow Jacket cried.

She raised a hand to stifle any further outbursts from him, “We need somepony to be at your home should your daughter simply be out late, hung up by fate’s fickle happenstances. The last thing she needs is to come home to an empty house and wonder where her parents are at.”

They turned to each other once more, dread and fear tearing away at the joy and relief they shared not moments before, a fact not overlooked by Luna, “But should you both feel incapable of standing still, one of you may accompany Captain Starry during the search.”

The ponies visibly brightened at that prospect, and rose to join in with the guards who had been gathering around Starry, “Thank you again, Princess Luna,” Puddle Jumper spoke, giving her a small bow before walking over to Matthias, “and thank you for trying to help my little starfish,” she said, gripping his hands just as firmly as before, but with an added layer of tenderness that had been absent from their previous contact.

“It's what anypony would do,” he reassured her, “Oh, and when you find her, turn her towards the Golden Chariot Tales if she hasn’t found them already."

She smiled once more, before walking over to join her husband, who had been talking with Starry and a couple of the guards who would be joining her in the search. And judging by the way he was swaying on his hooves, and the way his wife nearly knocked him over by simply placing her hand on his shoulder, it looked like he would be the one waiting at the house.

As the first few guards began filing out of the throne room to go rejoin their respective companies, Luna made ready to leave with them, a determined but frantic pace to her gait. However, before she could get too far down the Hall, Matthias stepped out in front of her, blocking her exit, “And where do you think you're going?”

She turned to him with a questioning raise of her eyebrow, “Why to join in search of course. We cannot just sit idly by whilst one of our subjects is lost in the night.”

Not at all phased by the fire burning in her eyes, Matthias placed a calming hand on her shoulder to try and settle her down, “I suggest you take your own advice and stay here. Starry is going to need to know where you are in order to keep you updated on the search’s progress, and she won't be able to do that if you're off running all over town.”

“But…”

“Look, I know you want to get out there and do something, hell, even I'm chomping at the bit to go out and actually be useful, but I know I'm just as likely to start a panic as I am to offer any meaningful support to the search."

Luna still looked unsure, but she wasn't heading towards the door anymore, allowing Matthias time to continue…

“Look, I'll support whatever decision you come to, but remember, in order for a chain of command to work, not only do you need to know how the rings are linked, but also where the top and bottom are in order to facilitate effective communication. This is my advice, should you choose to accept it.”

Luna kept quiet for another second or two before letting out a tired sigh, “Your wisdom is sound and you have yet to steer me wrong. Captain Night,” she called, grabbing the attention of her Captain of the Guard, “I will remain here and await your reports. You have my full authority to return Ms. Sea Star to her home safely by any and all means.

“Consider her tucked in Ma’am,” the dark blue bat pony affirmed with one last salute before dismissing the guards currently under her command, giving Matthias a grateful grin as she walked off to carry out her orders, followed closely by Puddle Jumper.

Once the room had been cleared of guard and civilian alike, Luna all but collapsed into Matthias’s chest, ever so slightly shaking now that they had the Hall to themselves.

“Hey hey hey, easy there. You did great.” Matthias cooed to her, trying both to encourage her and unwind her bundled up nerves.

“Really?” She spoke with a quiet quiver, looking up at him with gigantic, pleading eyes swirling with so much fear and joy and doubt and hope, that it made him want to cry. Long gone was the stalwart alicorn capable of sending an army of nightmares running scared with a single glare, now all that was left standing in his arms was the timid little pony princess trying desperately to piece the life she had lost back together.

“You were amazing,” he said while slightly rocking her back and forth, “You looked calm and in control, were confident in your decisions, you talked with your subjects instead of down to them, and, most important, you gave those two hope when they needed it most.”

With each little word of praise, she buried herself deeper into his embrace, gripping onto the fabric of his suit as if he were the only thing keeping her grounded in the here and now.

“So when did I become a minister?” he asked playfully.

Luna chuckled lightly, her hot breath brushing against the nape of his neck, “What can we say, when Harmony layeth such perfect and befitting alliteration before us on a plate of silver, we would be remiss not to… Oh, oh blast and damn! Forgive us, we me- *arrrgh* I mean me. Sorry May, We can’t, I can’t, seem to…"

Matthias ceased in his motions and pulled Luna even closer to him, wanting to quash her sudden bout of insecurity as quickly as possible, “Shhh, 'tis no trouble at all milady. Thine appellations and eloquence bring thee no shame, nor do they cause me any discomfort. I was merely expressing curiosity as to whether or not mine station hath truly been elevated or not, after all, ‘twas thee who gifted me such standing in the first place. So fret thee not at giving me offense for thy speech, or for the titles thou wish to bestow upon me, as the accolades of thy friendship and the time thou hast blessed me with matter that much more, even if it means I must sometimes call upon the bygone lexicon of mine people to help thee settle."

Princess Luna, Warden of the Dreamscape and Mare of Air and Darkness, squeed. It was a sound full of such unbridled joy and cheer, that it just made Matthias want to pick her up and spin her around.

So he did.

Luna was the inverse to Celestia in more ways than just the obvious day and night motifs. Where Celestia was laid-back and laissez-faire, Luna was intense and personal. Where Celestia bore the mantle of motherly wisdom, Luna bore one of childish zeal. And where Celestia stood a good half a head taller than Matthias, Luna barely came up to eye level with him, horn not included, and probably weighed all of a hundred pounds soaking wet, so he had absolutely no trouble swinging her about like a rag doll dancing in a dryer. Causing her to squeal with manic glee and renewed vigor at the sudden shift in her center of gravity, finding her elation reaching rapturous levels from the cascading joy brought about by their shared whimsy.

After ten or so such spins, Matthias finally set the little princess back down on her hooves, though Luna still clung onto him as if her life depended on it. Noticing as he gave her one last checkup to make sure she had moved past her earlier apprehensions, that she had picked out one of her more lavish dresses for the evening. A formal gown two or three shades lighter than her dark, midnight blue coat, though with the color rushing to her face from their previous buffoonery, it seemed to shine even brighter against her fur. Swirling about on the cloth’s almost viscous surface, burning white gems, connected by strands of woven silver, moved in time with the crystal stars floating above the Great Hall, coming together and breaking apart in formations mirroring those in Luna’s sky. He found it somewhat odd that she would choose something so resplendent, considering he was the only company expected to show up each evening, other than Starry and her guards, who she usually dismissed once he had arrived. Yet in spite of all that, he found it to be an immaculate fit for her, as it perfectly encapsulated that long-lost sense of true regality she wore so naturally, and if one were to combine it with the frenzied look of childish fervor now plastered across her muzzle, Matthias would say she couldn’t possibly look more beautiful than she did at this very second.

Happy that she was back to normal, (well, as normal as was possible for Luna) he made to break away from her so he could retrieve the effects he had left by the wayside. However, he quickly found himself quite unable to move, as Luna had all but buried herself into him again, her arms and wings securing him in place as her tail wrapped around his leg.

“I take I'm not allowed to leave then?” he asked looking down at her.

“Nuh-uh,” she affirmed, nuzzling further into him.

“How long have I gotta stay here?”

“Forever and ever.”

As tempting as that proposition sounded, he could think of a few reasons why they should probably get a move on. They had a job to do after all, and if he didn't want Celestia bugging him all day tomorrow, he should probably get back to work…

In about 5 minutes.

So they continued to just stand there, wrapped up in each other. Letting whatever remaining tension and built up adrenaline wash away in the warmth of their combined body heat.

“I was starting to get worried,” Luna said, finally breaking the silence.

“Oh?”

“It’s one thing to miss breakfast, but you're hardly ever late for court, and even when you are, it's only by a couple minutes.”

“Heh heh, sorry Lu, had to go freshen up after Tia ran me ragged.”

“Is that what we’re calling it now?” she asked, not sounding the least bit impressed.

“I don't follow,” he said trying to play dumb, hoping she hadn't caught onto what had happened.

Luna sighed before loosening her hold on him slightly; just enough so that she could reach down and gently bring his right hand up between them, gingerly rubbing her thumb over a blotchy spot at his knuckle, where the skin had been bruised and broken slightly.

“You know you and Starry aren’t exactly subtle May?” she said, looking up at him with eyes overflowing with both care and concern before bringing another velvety soft hand up to his forehead. Where, from slightest clash of soft and sting sparking across his skin, he could tell a similar mark had formed.

“How many?” She asked.

He sighed, “Two, two and a half,” he counted off, unsure if should deem the one in the bathroom as an attack or not before turning away out of guilt and shame.

Luna moved the hand that had been stroking his forehead down to cup his cheek, gently guiding his flattened muzzle back so that he was facing her again. Staring into her eyes, Matthias found no anger or fear, no irritation or repulsion, just worry and genuine concern for her friend.

“You need this just as much as I do,” she said, sinking back into him, wanting to let him know that with her, he need never feel afraid or ashamed. That with her, he would always be welcomed.

Oh, he so wanted to take her up on her offer. Just cuddle with her till the end of time, but he had a job to do dammit, and he wasn't going to shirk his responsibilities.

“I brought a cake from that new bakery," he offered.

“I am not my sister. No paltry pastry will pull me away from my friend,” she said with all the confidence and stoicism of royalty; unshakable, incorruptible, and unwav-

“I’ve gotta picture of Celestia freaking the fuck out.”

“GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!” she screamed, nearly knocking him to ground as she started frantically patting him down, trying to find his phone.

“Ah ah ah, first I've got some documents from your sister we need to go over," he countered.

“Awww~ you're mean,” she said with an adorable puppy dog pout.

“Quite. Now, work first, then it’ll be time to tease Tia.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Two auxiliary hallways, four flights of stairs, both up and down, and three failed attempts at grand theft mobile phone later, Luna and Matthias found themselves standing before a Kubrick-esque black monolith of a door. It had no knocker, no eye hole, it didn’t even have a handle. In fact, the only indication of it bearing any station of significance whatsoever was a stained-glass rendition of Luna’s cutie mark, a crescent moon resting over the backdrop of a starry sky, hung slightly above eye level (or at eye level in Matthias’s case).

As Matthias searched his pockets for the special key that would gain them entry, Luna made one last attempt at apprehending his phone, earning her a flick on the ear for her troubles, and him, a petulant raspberry from the Princess of the Night. Accepting that there was no getting out of this, Luna stepped forward and undid the wards locking the door herself, letting them into the Office of Lunar Affairs.

Much like its solar counterpart, the layout was fairly spartan, with only a couple of desks, chairs, and a row of bookshelves to fill up the space. The only things one could consider a decadence were the small fireplace and kitchenette, used to give the chamber a more homely appearance when endless bureaucracies kept Luna and Matthias from venturing out. Fortunately, or unfortunately, as the case may be, they never saw much use, as the amount of paperwork and legislation Luna had to oversee was minimal at best.

As the pair got settled into their professional roles, Luna found herself jumping back onto a particular line of logic Matthias had used during his interview with Puddle Jumper and Yellow Jacket, that just would not leave her the hell alone.

“May?” she asked while sitting down at her blackened oak desk, having already pulled out a couple quills and an inkwell.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you keep asking about their professions?

“What do you mean?” he questioned, handing her the first set of the papers Celestia wanted her to sign off on.

“After you established that Puddle Jumper and Yellow Jacket's combined annual earnings weren't enough to attract a prospective ransomer, why did you continue to inquire about their jobs?

“Oh, that! Well, when one takes a hostage, money and wealth aren't necessarily what the ransomer is seeking.”

“What would they want then?” she asked, turning the now signed papers back over to him.

“Well, for example,” Matthias contemplated as he gave her the next batch, “a stallion working at the customs office may have his son kidn-, err, foalnapped, and the condition for his safe return would be for him to forge documents that would allow some unlawful types to sneak contraband into the country.”

Luna nodded, having put aside the document she was currently checking, finding Matthias’s insights much too fascinating.

“Or, a chef at a high-end restaurant may have her brother taken similarly, and should she ever wish to see him again, she would have to put poison in the dish of a particular patron.”

“I see.”

“Hell, there once was a story of a famous toymaker targeted to help institute a coup d'etat against the queen of my world’s Trottingham.”

“Oh, thou art surely shitting me?” Luna exclaimed, her suspension of disbelief having finally been pushed to its limit.

He threw his arms up placatingly, “It's true! The craftsman's skills were of such repute, that it was said his creations could pass for living, breathing creatures. So some rat bastard got the idea to foalnap his daughter, so he could force him to build a life-sized double of the country’s queen.”

“And how would a doll have aided in his attempt on her life?”

“Oh, the doll had nothing to with the actual assassination attempt. Rather, the rat had planned on killing the queen in secret, and then he was going to use the doll to make it appear as if the queen was abdicating the throne and leaving him in power.”

Luna had to pause in her resumed pencil pushing to pinch the bridge of her nose, snorting in frustration as she tried, and failed, to picture all this truly happening, “Please tell me such ass backwards nonsense didn’t actually succeed.”

“Oh of course not! While the rat was making his play, a detective, who had been tailing him, rescued the real queen and revealed the one stepping down to be a fake. This forced the rat to run off with the hostage, resulting in a high-speed balloon chase throughout the city, ending with them crashing into the palace, which ultimately led to their climactic battle atop the city’s clock tower and the safe rescue of the toymaker's daughter.”

And there was the look! Luna’s eyes went wide, and her head tilted slightly, as she tried to simultaneously take in the expositional carpet bombing Matthias had hit her with, figure out if Matthias was truly just bullshitting her or not, and what, if anything, this had to do with what he had asked her subjects about. And, to Matthias, it had all the diabetes-inducing cuteness of a dog trying to figure out where its owner was when his voice came out over the phone.

Shaking herself back to reality, Luna was finally able to pick up on the twisted sense of reasoning Matthias was using and applied it to his line of questioning from earlier…

“So Dame Puddle Jumper had neither the skill set nor client base, to potentially target anypony of significance. And though Sir Yellow Jacket’s position is of great importance to the meadery, it would not give him access to areas where he could potentially harm anypony directly…”

Matthias’s grin kept on growing with each correct deduction she made, begging her to keep on going with a roll of his hands.

“And any act of corporate sabotage from a competing brewery would make little sense, as, given the nature of his station, the only damage he’d be able to do would be to a key asset they would need, should their goal be to subsume Longhouse under their control!”

An excitable applause filled the room as Matthias began enthusiastically stage bowing to Luna, “Brava! brava! congratulations Lu! You’ve just taken your first tentative steps towards seeing the world as I do! Enjoy the sleepless nights and never-ending show tunes, but hey, look on the bright side, at least now you’ll never be bored.”

Luna whacked him upside the head with the second batch of documents she had been signing, hoping to rein him back in before he went too far off the manic end.

“Yes, yes the sea’s a sky and the dogs are dancing. Don’t worry about me May, I’ve spent enough time cavorting with Discord and the Element of Laughter to handle a little dissonance, cognitive or otherwise. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to finish up here so we can head to the garden.”

“Hai, hai. Figures the one night we actually have work to do, is the night you just want to laze about and do nothing,” he mocked while handing her another set of papers.

She accepted the documents with little fuss and began her initial read through, though not before sticking her thumb on her nose and twiddling her fingers in a multiversal display of “Nee Ner Nee Ner Neeee Nerrrr.”

They cycled through this process several more times over the next hour or so, with Matthias trading off a new document for Luna to sign every time she would finish one off, filing it away in his briefcase to be handed off to Celestia or to be dropped off with the relevant department head. All the while, the two continued discussing the relative pros and cons of various ransoming tactics, both theoretical and historical.

“What if they had been fools?” Luna began to wonder, her voice coming out as barely a whisper.

“In what way?” he asked, her sudden shift in tone concerning him.

“The foalnappers and ransomers from your examples, their motives and goals were objective and clear. And the means by which they hoped to execute their plans followed a basic, if not crude, line of reasoning, but what if their logic had been flawed, or if their reasoning had been built upon a faulty foundation?”

“So, ‘what if they’d been stupid?' is basically what you’re asking?” he asked, trying to sound as base, and as derisive as possible, in an attempt to shock her back to baseline.

“Hee, Hee! Yes. though I wouldn’t have worded it so crudely,” she said, brightening as she saw through his attempts to make her laugh.

“I know, that’s what you got me for. Now, what is it about the hypothetical lack of intelligence in our theoretical hostage takers that has gotten you all worked up?” he asked while scooting a chair over and sitting next to her.

“It’s just, all the questions you asked about Dame Jumper and Yellow Jacket were to determine if there was any logical reason for somepony to foalnap little Sea Star.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But what if there had been an illogical reason?

“...You know ‘illogical reason’ is oxymoronic by its very nature?”

“Be that as it may, what if their reasoning for taking the child had not been sound? What if they had apprehended young Sea Star not knowing that Puddle Jumper had never met Miss Rarity, or that Yellow Jacket only worked with the bees, or if they wanted him to harm production and force the meadery’s closure? What, what if-?

“What if my aunt had testicles? Would that make her my uncle?” he asked as deadpanned and straight-faced as possible.

This had the immediate effect of cutting off Luna mid worrisome rant, her jaw falling slack and hanging open. To which Matthias brought a hand over to gently move her mouth closed, before using it to softly cup and caress her cheek.

“Look Lu, I get it, maybe we overlooked something, or maybe there was some factor we didn’t take into account. Hell, I probably should have started off by asking them, ‘Where was she last seen?’ or, ‘Does she, or anypony in your family, have any enemies?’ But we can’t fuss and fret over what has already happened, nor can we worry over something so far beyond our influence as ‘idiocy.’ It’s like my dad always used to tell me when we watched the news together, ‘you can’t account for stupid.’”

Despite the off the cuff way he had laid it out for her, Luna found herself relaxing once more, both from logic he used and from the feel of his hand and thumb playing across her cheek. It was as if no sooner had her fears and doubts began to manifest than Matthias simply washed them away with a quip and a care.

“I’m sorry May, it’s ju-”

“Na, ah, ah, none of that,” he chastised playfully, moving his finger over to her lips in a ‘shushing’ gesture, “I’m the chronic lamenter here, remember? Besides, worrying for the wellbeing of your subjects, and reflecting on where you can improve for the future, those are habits one should be reinforcing the ever-loving shit out of on a daily basis.”

She giggled behind the finger pressed against her lips, before reaching up, and gently grasping his hand with her own, pushing him back a little so she could ask, “What is it you always say, May? ‘Cahoolu, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference?’”

“Not exactly, but-”

But whatever he was going to say was cut off by Luna bringing his hand back to her lips and planting a tender kiss on his still slightly extended finger. Luna often found it hilarious how if she ever needed to get him to stop talking for a second, or needed to drag him out of whatever rabbit hole he had fallen down in that wonderland of a mind he had, all she had to do was give him a simple nuzzle or kiss, in order to turn him in blushing, stammering mess. So while he was still trying to piece himself back together from her affections, she reached over and grabbed the last set of documents they needed to check for the evening, and set to work with a renewed fervor.

The sight of Luna smiling and full of purpose helped to settle Matthias back down, glad to see his friend no longer feeling worried or ashamed at possibly screwing up one of the few opportunities she had to actually be a princess for her ponies. The mare so desperately wanted to be there for her subjects, to show them she was not somepony to be feared, and that they could turn to her if the need arises. But it seemed like no matter how much good she did for the ponies of Equestria, no matter how many she had saved with her subtle guidance, she couldn’t help but feel the lesser of the royal siblings, always finding faults within her decisions and judgments. So Matthias always tried to support her in every action she made and offer her a perspective unclouded by a millennium of culturally ingrained fear or bias.

Which is why, as much as he didn’t like to, he had kept his father’s second favorite kernel of wisdom, “You can’t account for crazy,” all to himself.

Matthias was under no such delusion that the magical land of Equestria was some sort of prelapsarian paradise hidden somewhere over the rainbow. It clearly had its fair share of darkness and danger, if the worn scars around his neck were anything to go by.

But every time he would see a vendor give an apple to a passing foal, or whenever he saw a group of colts welcome in somepony new to their clique, hell, whenever five or more them would spontaneously break out into song, the idea of these ponies being capable of lashing out in acts of random malice became more and more ridiculous.

Oh sure, there was still a healthy heaping of assholes present. Case in point, that jackass (figurative not literal) from the PFP this morning, pushing for legislation to limit the number of non-ponies into herds. And yet, it seemed like no matter how much self-serving, underhanded, and downright offensive bullshit he saw while in Canterlot, it wasn’t quite enough to supplant the near constant stream of honesty, loyalty, generosity, kindness, and laughter he was bombarded with on a near-daily basis.

So he wouldn’t trouble Luna with the burdensome baggage he had carried over from Earth, concerning the fates of missing and exploited children, and just allowed her to revel in the sense of accomplishment that came from providing genuine aid to her subjects, hoping that when his and Celestia’s machinations bore fruit, such feelings would become a near constant in her life.

“M-May?” Luna whimpered, clenching the last of this evening’s papers in her hands with enough force that she nearly tore it in two.

This got Matthias running right over to her, ready to figuratively, and literally if necessary, rip the dick off the asshole who had authored a document so offensive that it could break his friend’s well earned good cheer.

And then he saw that it had his and Celestia’s names on it.

“Please explain this,” she begged, her voice having regained its stability, but still lacking a bit of its volume.

Taking the paper away from her, he began reading through the actually gold trimmed letters:

To Princess Luna, Regent of the Stars, and Diarch of the Night,

You are hereby invited to partake in an upcoming summit, taking place one fortnight from hence, to begin discussing and designing the preliminary procedures and protocols for the establishment of the newly commissioned Combined Court of Canterlot. Please know that by virtue of having received this invitation, you have been recognized by the crown as an upstanding individual, whose talents and experiences have contributed to the betterment of both Equestria and her citizenry on several occasions, and whose voice and insight would be most welcomed in the designing process for what we hope will become a groundbreaking opportunity to help further strengthen relations between the crown and her citizens. Should you find yourself interested in participating in such a project, please RSVP with the Office of Solar Affairs within the next day or two. During this time, however, we must also ask, that due to the nature and scope of such an enterprise, that in the interest of the kingdom’s security, you please keep any and all information regarding this subject private, and out of the public discourse. Once again we thank you for your continued service to Equestria, and for promoting the precepts and values of Harmony, and we hope to hear from you soon.

Blessings of the Sun and Moon,

Celestia Solaire

PS, Congratulations Lulu!

PPS, You can thank May for this!

Matthias had to mull on all this for a minute or two, trying to grasp at the totality of what this invite implied. The idea had been basic and simple: find a way to give Luna a more public role without making her feel useless or out of place, while framing it in such a way that the public wouldn’t misconstrue her efforts as Nightmare Moon attempting a hostile takeover.

So he and Celestia had put their collective heads together and, over the past few months, began tearing through ideas (and boxes of cake) with equal parts vigor and frustration, to see if they could find a solution that would help fill the void in her heart she’d been carrying around, since long before Matthias’s family tree had even been an idea. However, it wasn’t until Matthias had asked Celestia the dumbest question she had ever heard that they finally realized where to begin, and began laying the groundwork for what would hopefully become a kingdom ruled together as one, instead of separately.

“Bitch must’ve been holding out on me,” he whispered, not realizing just how close they were to seeing their plan come to fruition.

“May please, we don-, I don’t, what is the meaning of this?” she asked him. Her calm having been irreparably damaged by this point as a millennium's worth of accumulated loss and dashed hopes trying to claw their way back to the surface, chanting and cheering as they smelled another dream to break in and tear into.

Seeing the havoc this was wreaking on her, Matthias pulled her close and set about trying to explain what he and Celestia had been up to past few months:

“Well Lu, me and Celestia got tired of you sitting on your rear all night while we busted our asses from dawn till dusk, so we thought we’d remedy that little problem.”

“But, but…”

“That’s right, no more sitting on your butt, squandering the night away without a care! Now you get to experience all the joys and wonders of triplicate paperwork, House addresses, and the never-ending lines of inept, lazy ponies clamoring at you to fix their problems for them,” he downplayed, each word seeming to decrease the intensity of her shaking.

“When..., why?”

“The former? A few months back. I had asked Tia why there were two courts and the only answer she could really come up with was ‘tradition,’ and that really didn’t settle with me, so we started making some calls. As for the latter? Well, I wanted to find some way to say ‘thank you for helping me deal with my bullshit,’” he said while tapping the side of his head, “and since you told me a while back I should try celebrating what I’ve gained, instead of harping over what I’ve lost, I figured ‘what better to celebrate eight months in Canterlot than by-’ *gyaaahh!!*...”

Matthias found himself unable to complete the overly loquacious sentence, as 100 lbs. of pony princess suddenly dove head first into his diaphragm, knocking him out of his chair and onto the light blue carpet beneath them. Whatever wind that wasn’t already knocked out of him started getting forced out by the tiny alicorn’s surprising strength, as she snaked her arms around his torso and began squeezing him like a full body blood pressure test.

“THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!” she continuously screamed into his chest, her voice muffled by the silky fabric of his suit.

Finding himself unable to tap out, Matthias decided to just let her have this, not wanting to interrupt her moment. He just hoped she’d let him go before the world got too fuzzy…

Well, death by cuddles wouldn’t be the worst way to go!

Fortunately for Matthias, Luna let him go before the stars completely blotted out his sight. As his vision started to clear, he found that Luna had shifted her positioning somewhat, as she was now completely straddling him and had her hands clamped firmly on his cheeks. Forcing him to stare into her shining blue eyes, filled to the brim with tears that kept streaming down her face and dropping onto his.

“Thank you, May,” she whispered one last time before leaning down and nuzzling his cheek, trying to dry off where her tears had fallen onto him.

By this point, Matthias’s face had turned completely purple, or at least he assumed it did, considering he had lost so much color in his hands from the rush of blood upwards, that he could all but see right through them. But unfortunately for him, Luna’s cheeks had still been damp, so all she succeeded in doing was spreading the warm wetness around more.

“Oh my, seems I’ve missed a spot,” she giggled, “seems I’ll have to try again,” she said before diving back in, laughing like a fiend as Matthias struggled against her, unable to figure out if he was enjoying what was happening to him or not as Luna kept up her assault.

*cough*

A small throat-clearing snapped them back to reality and brought their attention to the front of the room, where Starry Night stood, helmet in hand, and trying her best not to look like she had just walked in on her princess while in the midst of some not safe for work activities.

With a small sigh, Luna relinquished her hold over Matthias’s face and sat up to face her captain, though she still kept her legs straddled over his stomach, refusing to completely remove herself from him.

“Captain Starry, how goes the search for young Sea Star?” Luna inquired, her voice and demeanor returning to the stoic professionalism she normally carried while around her guards, despite her currently sitting on the floor atop one of her “chief advisors.”

Meh, guess it’s only weird if you make it weird.

The blue bat pony saluted her liege, accidentally matting the bangs of her dual swirled yellow and white mane against the right side of her head, “Ma’am, I’m happy to report that at 2300 hours, Miss Sea Star was located, and by 2330 she had been returned home without incident.”

Luna’s only obvious response at hearing the good news was a terse nod directed at her soldier, but from his position between her legs, Matthias could feel every muscle in her body start to quiver and shake ecstatically as she desperately tried to hold back and contain her unbridled joy.

“Exceptional work as always Captain! May I inquire as to where she was located?”

“Was she at Pie Crust on Confectionary Row, near the Northern Commercial District?” Matthias asked, joining in from the floor.

Luna merely popped an eyebrow at his inquiry, but Starry nearly dropped her helmet as she reeled back from his question.

“How in the holy...?”

“You’ve got jelly and powdered sugar on your lip.”

“What?!” she almost screeched, bringing a hand up to wipe her muzzle, only for it to come back completely clean.

“Made ya look,” he snickered.

“Why you overgrown-”

“Was that where you found her?” Luna asked hoping to get her Captain back on track, and also to keep her friend from getting his teeth kicked in.

“Oh, um, yes your Majesty. Apparently, Ms. Sea Star and her friends had wanted to celebrate making it through an exam today and had hoped to pick up a pastry as the store was closing, in order to avoid the lines. Unfortunately, the proprietor, one Graham Crust, has been running special promotions all week to drum up business for his new shop. Discounts, buy one get ones, extended hours and the like. So, as a result, the line was much longer than they anticipated, and they didn’t want to go home empty-handed.”

“As always Captain, your diligence is to be commended.”

Starry dropped down into a bow, putting her Impressionist style crescent moon cutie mark on full display for Matthias. Causing his face, which had finally managed to cool off some, to heat back up again as visions of the plucky little thestral jogging in those skin-tight track shorts of hers began marching through his brain.

I mean, it’s bad enough she has to run right in front of me, but does she have to have her ass right in my peripheral whenever she switches over to her wings?!

“Thank you, your majesty, but the commendations belong to Fleet and Fox of Echo Company. Together they located Ms. Sea Star during their initial sweep of the area.”

Luna smiled at her subordinate’s display of honesty, “Then I shall be sure to check in on Fleet Wood and Fox Glove and ensure they receive their proper accolades. Now, I would like a full write up from you and your commanders, ready for a debrief at 0300. I wish to examine how effectively each division enacted their maneuvers. Oh, and if it isn’t too much trouble, please send a runner over to check in on Puddle Jumper and Yellow Jacket, and send them my congratulations on the safe return of their daughter.”

“At once, ma’am,” Starry said while rising to her hooves, giving Luna one more salute before turning to exit, but not without shooting Matthias a glare that all but promised extra laps during his next drilling session.

*gulp*

Once Starry had left, and after she’d made sure she’d made it a good ways down the hall, Luna threw herself back onto Matthias, bouncing up and down on him, like a kid trying to wake her parents up on Christmas.

“We did it, we did it, we did it, we diiid iiiiitttt!” she screamed, letting loose all the pent up dread and anxiety that had been building up inside her since the evening started.

Finding it impossible not to smile back at her, he reached up and pulled her down, hugging her tightly and breathing a sigh of relief, knowing that the kid was home safe and sound, though probably not leaving the house without wearing a leash for a while.

“Yeah, you did it!”

Luna ceased in her bouncing to look down at her friend, eyes tearing up again while bearing a grin so wide it nearly tore her cheeks. “No May, we did it,” she scoffed, shifting a finger back and forth between them to indicate what she had meant.

“Ohhh,” Matthias realized as Luna kept on quivering on top of him, seemingly unable to shake off her excitement.

Neither one appeared willing or able to break contact with the other as they continued to stare each other down, a peaceable silence echoing throughout the room, only broken by the occasional drop of a tear onto Matthias, a fact that Luna did not let slip by.

“Oh my, it seems We’ve made a mess of thy face again friend May!” she said, mischief and mirth saturating every syllable as she grabbed hold of his face once more, “Now, where were we?”

“I believe we had just finished up the last of our paperwork and were about to go and laugh at Tia’s expense,” Matthias reminded her, pulling out and showing her his phone, its black screen holding the promise of endless ammunition for future pranks against her sister.

Luna was a blue blur of manic glee as she darted off him, her starry mane an azure comet tail as she began running around the room putting away stationery, locking drawers, and turning off lights.

“COME ON, COME ON, COME OOOOONNNNNN!” she pleaded, pulling him off the floor and planting him on his feet in one fluid motion, all the while trying to push him towards the door.

“Alright, alright let me just grab my-”

“NO, NOW!” she declared, hoisting him over her shoulder in a fireman’s carry and sprinting out the door with all the reckless abandon of a caffeinated Jack Russell with ADHD, the dazed human’s screams echoing throughout the empty halls as they tried to catch up with him.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

With all their work done, and all their worries washed away, the odd pair of pony and person could now play to their hearts’ content.

After finally convincing Luna to let him down, Matthias and the Princess of the Night had decided to walk the rest of the way to what had become their go-to shit-shooting range; a neglected and underused garden terrace, formed from the various interlocking nooks and crannies of Canterlot Castle’s strange, branching architecture. Many such “filler” gardens dotted the castle’s exterior, the groundskeepers not wanting to let the extra space go to waste, but this one, in particular, was truly in need of some TLC. As it’s various marble statues and fountains had been overrun with differing layers of accumulated moss and vegetation, while at least 50 lbs. of ivy wrapped its way up and down through the latticework of the gazebo Luna and Matthias currently found themselves huddled under. It also didn't help that the famed view of the Equestrian countryside the castle had become so well known for was currently being blocked by the roofs and spires of the towers that seemed to grow out of the castle at random intervals, which could have explained why the place had seen so little traffic and had fallen into such a state of disrepair.

However, what the space lacked in terms of a landscape, it more than made up for it in its starscape. The many spires and towers perfectly framing Luna’s pride and joy for any and all to see. Sitting on a blanket strewn across the gazebo’s cleared away floor, the two friends sat nestled against one another, both wrapped up in Luna’s wings as they tried to ward off the night’s chilling embrace, sharing bites of Matthias still-warm cake as they laughed their collective asses off at the picture he had taken of Celestia.

Luna was currently letting loose a loud rambunctious guffaw, unable to find a single shit to give, as she struggled to contain herself at hearing the events surrounding Matthias’s victory over her sister during the shell game.

“Heh heh. H-how were you able to slip in the other coins?” she asked, her diaphragm unsure whether it wanted her to keep breathing or keep laughing.

“Oh, that was the easy part. All I did was slip the coins into the cups after washing them out. Then, when I brought everything back to her desk, I made sure to make a show out of looking for a coin. That way, when I eventually found one, she would assume that was the only one I had, and never think to look to see if I had hidden coins beneath the other cups already.”

Luna began cackling again at how Matthias’s simple act of subterfuge had reduced one of the most powerful ponies in all of Equestria, and beyond, into a frenzied, cake deprived, mess of a mare. Not to mention they now had pranking material of such an epic scale to hold over her head for all of eternity. However, something in the nature of the game, and how it was played, was throwing her off somewhat.

“Is that how the game is normally played?”

Matthias hesitated for a second, seeming to struggle with how exactly he going to explain this to her:

“Weeellll, yes and no. It’s complicated. At first, the game was just a simple way to pass the time and test one’s visual observation skills. Hell, when I used to work in Special Ed, we would use it to develop visual tracking and teach object permanence.”

“So why did it change?”

“It got boring.”

Luna crossed her arms and just stared at him with an unimpressed scowl before rolling her hand in a continue motion, much like he had done to her earlier.

“Alright, alright,” he surrendered, tossing his hands in the air. “Look; at its core, the game boils down to one side trying to find something, while the other tries to hide something.”

“I picked that much up.”

“And so did your sister. She also picked up on the fact that if you have a working set of eyes, the game is insultingly easy, because even if you lose track of the cup you’re eyeing, which isn’t even that hard, you still got a one and three shot at picking the right one. So in order to spice things up, and keep people playing, they starting adding stakes.”

“What kind?”

“Oh you know, ‘bet you a dollar you can’t find the ball,’ and the like.”

“What’s a dollar?”

“Oh, it’s a monetary unit, sorry.”

“Thou art pardoned.”

“Thank you.”

“You are most welcome. Now, why would adding such risk encourage them to keep playing?”

“Because with something to gain and lose now, the game’s outcomes had weight. Players had to take it seriously or else they’d forfeit something of material value. And trust me, nothing will encourage somebody to keep playing like wanting to keep a winning streak going, or wanting to try and recoup a loss.”

Luna nodded, remembering the addictive thrill that came with besting her sister at the foalish games they used to play in their youth, and the stubborn sting that would push her to keep going when Celestia would beat her. “And I take it that it was around this time that the unsavory elements began to be incorporated into the game.”

“Now why would you think that?” Matthias asked, not even bothering to hide the “you’re right” smile glued to his face, as his inner teacher took over and wanted Luna to explain her answer.

“Because even with the thrill of victory and the seriousness of loss now incorporated into the player’s mindset, the game still has not deviated from its origin. There are still only three cups to track, and the odds are still the same given a blind guess.”

“Gold star for you, Lu,” he applauded, only to begin snickering as she tilted her head in confusion, trying to under what a star had to do with anything. “Heh heh yes, once stakes got involved, people began trying to cheat the system, hoping to guarantee themselves a win, and boy, did they get creative.”

“What would they do?”

“Some would set up a table with a hole and screen to drop the ball into, others would roll the ball up their sleeves then roll a second ball back into another cup. Hell, mine’s the most basic; all you gotta do is not let them catch on to the fact that there’s more than one ball in play, and only pick up cups they don’t point to.”

“But why wasn’t such behavior ever discouraged?”

“Like I said, it’s complicated. The game grew out of a time where playing for money, or placing bets, was illegal, so even if somebody was caught cheating, it’s not like they could call the authorities. Eventually, it just got to a point where cheating began to be considered part and parcel for the game.”

“And yet your people continued to play this game?”

“Yes, because once the ban on money as prizes was lifted, and the game started hitting the carnival scene, an unexpected metagame arose out of it as more and more people got cheated.

“And what game would that be?”

“How Did They Cheat Me?”

Sadly, not for the first time since the start of their oddball relationship, Luna began questioning Matthias mental state. Calmly and carefully, she laid the back of her hand across his forehead, trying to get a read on his temperature.

“Uh, Lu...”

“Huh, no fever.”

“Why would you think I have a fever?”

“Because you were spouting some such drivel as, ‘how did they cheat me?’ and I was ensuring you hadn’t become delirious from your illness?”

“I’m not sick, Lu.”

Not buying any of that, she swung herself over his legs and gripped him by the shoulders, scrutinizing his face while checking his skin color, pulse, and pupil dilation. Finding nothing obviously wrong with her friend, she slowly pulled herself off him and took a deep, calming breath.

“May, I know you find it difficult sometimes, and that it is not always in your control, but…”

“But…”

“But I would like for you to be serious with me for the next few minutes and explain to me as clearly, and succinctly as possible, why somepony would willingly allow themselves to be cheated.”

Matthias pondered over how he could best answer Luna’s question without sounding like he’d finally cracked until he thought he’d found the perfect analogous scenario:

“Okay, do you remember that first Nightmare Night you attended after coming back from the moon.”

“But of course. T’was my first meeting with friend Twilight since my liberation from the Nightmare, and my first official interaction with the denizens of Ponyville.”

“And what did that cute little piebald tell you about scaring him?”

“That... that despite him being frightened for a moment, it became something exciting and fun when he realized there was no danger.”

“That’s right! Now, I’d like you to keep that strange dissonance in mind as I go over this next part. Do you think you can do that for me?” he asked, throwing her subdued seriousness back at her.

“Mhmm,” she nodded.

“Good! Now, picture a carnival, flashing lights, laughing crowds, merry music dancing on the breeze, are you with me so far?”

She nodded once again.

“Good, so you walk on in and, set up next to the deep-fried Twinkie stand, you see a big fancy sign hanging over a brightly colored station, showcasing some fabulous looking prizes. You trot on over because the prospect of winning an eight-foot-tall stuffed jackalope is just too good an opportunity to pass up. But once you get close, you realize that the vendor is running a shell game. Now, every book, movie, and anecdote you’ve ever read, seen or heard has warned you that the people who set up these games are natural born crooks and sharks, and that decent folk should not deal with them. Still with me, Lu?”

“Oh, yes! Of course,” she said snapping to attention, having gotten hung up a bit on what a twinkie was and how his feet were involved, but she recognized them as ancillary pieces of information, so she was still able to follow along.

“Good, because we’ve rounded second and are headed for home. Okay, now... where were we again?”

“Something about not dealing with sharks.”

“Right,” he said with a snap of his fingers, “Now, you know that you’re about to be cheated, that the man in the booth is a dirty rotten scoundrel and has probably rigged the game, and that the only thing standing between you and your giant fluffy bunny with antlers is your ability to follow a ball under a cup and… you no longer care about winning the prize.”

The anti-climax nearly gave Luna a stroke, “What?!”

“Yep, that rabbit can kiss your ass, because this isn’t about winning or losing anymore! No, it’s about showing that smug bastard behind the counter that you’re smarter than him.”

He let that hang in the air for a bit, to see how Luna would react, given this new nugget of information:

So what’s it gonna be? Confusion? Physical Violence? Her Asking Me to “Cut the Bullshit and Get On With It Dammit?”

But much to Matthias’s surprise and delight, he got neither of those things and instead, got the one thing he always loved seeing when he was walking about the classroom teaching content: Applied Critical Thinking!

Luna sat there in silence, with her hand pressed against her muzzle and fingers playing across her lips, trying to piece together all the relevant information while sorting through and throwing out all the bullshit. Recalling every tidbit and factoid from and before Matthias’s scenario, and began filtering it through the lens of her experience with Pipsqueak in Ponyville, until suddenly, her head shot up with enough force for her to see spots, realization smacking across the face like an army of airline passengers in a disaster movie spoof.

“It’s not cheating if both parties have recognized the deception as being part of the game’s core structure!”

“YES!!!” he screamed, crushing her against him, unable to contain himself knowing that Luna had been able to put that all together on her own. That nostalgic feeling of seeing his students applying what they’d learned to scenarios beyond the text threatening to draw tears, actually making him feel like a teacher again. Oh sure, it wasn’t the same as exploring the roles of society and morality in the works of Hawthorne, or the inherent value of truth and knowledge in The Master and Margarita, but given his limited options, he’d take what he was given.

Luna was startled somewhat at his sudden affections, but put up no resistance, allowing herself to be pulled further into his embrace. She knew Matthias loved helping ponies; it was par for the course for his old profession and was one of the reasons she had asked Celestia to offer him his current station. It had been odd at first, meeting somepony with just as many holes and gaps in knowledge, in regards to Equestrian society, as herself. With what little knowledge he did possess being only rough approximations he'd often muddle with his own world's history. So, even though she couldn't give him back his old job as an instructor, she did see the value in his critical eye, and his ability to sift through and check reams of paperwork with great rate and efficiency, and put forth the idea to her sister to allow him to aid them in their respective duties. So, in an effort to further heighten his elation, Luna continued to lay out what she had discovered:

“So since the act of cheating has become so ingrained in the culture of the game, the risk/reward factor has now taken the second chair to the need to demonstrate one’s mental faculties. To prove to one’s self and others that thou hast the capability to see through such deception, and that thou art so proficient, that thou can even best those who are professional liars and crooks. And with the only loss of note being one’s pride, or the smallest of material wealth judging by the game's continued proliferation, the rewards, both emotional and physical, tremendously outweigh the risk!”

The more answers Luna found in her derivations, the tighter Matthias squeezed, to the point where she could barely squeak out those last few words. But she was in no danger of being choked out, what with the earth pony strength and prowess Luna's alicorn constitution offered her. And if her earlier manhandling of Matthias was anything to go by, she could have broken away at any time, she just couldn't find the motivation, nor the desire, to do so.

After a minute or two, the rush of pedagogically induced endorphins seemed to flush itself from Matthias's system, and he had to lay down, though he was still there enough to tighten his grip and bring Luna down with him, earning him an adorable shower of squeals and giggles for his efforts.

“Did they have any games like that back in your time?” he asked after cooling off a bit, wanting to give Luna the opportunity to talk about the old kingdom, and legitimately curious about the times before the Harmony had become widespread across Equestria.

“Not that I remember,” she said, sighing in a clash of nostalgia and sorrow, “and even if they did, we wouldn't have been able to partake in such merriments, the nature of our charge blocking us from partaking in such daylit dalliances as balls, carnivals, and fairs,” she lamented, scooting up closer to him, so she could lay her head on his chest.

“But what about now?” he asked her, trying to strangle his inner Curious George for killing the joy they were basking in not two minutes ago. “We've seen plenty of stores and theaters still open when you've dragged me to your old stomping grounds. Surely there’s got to be some nighttime bacchanalia we can hit up, other than Nightmare Night.”

Luna became equal parts quiet and contemplative (and nervous if Matthias didn't know any better) before speaking up, “Th-there's the Winter Wind Traveling Carnival. They come into the city and host such festivities throughout the nights leading up to the Masquerade.”

“Do they have games?”

“Sadly, I have never been, but I have heard their revelries all the way from my watchtower.”

“Heard anything about the food?”

“Ladies Applejack and Pinkie Pie are known to vend their wares, and Twilight has oft’ spoke of the fair’s wide selection of fried and frozen foodstuffs.”

“Would you like to go with me?”

“Pardon?!” Luna choked out, her mind seizing somewhat at his question, unsure if she had heard him correctly.

“Would. You. Like. To. Go. With. Me?” he repeated, putting enough stress and emphasis on each word as if to say, ‘Yes, you did hear me correctly.’

“Would you really?” she asked, her words shrinking to nearly inaudible levels as she tried to curl herself up in a ball on top of him.

“Why wouldn't I?” he scoffed, throwing her mock offense.

“It’s just, how would our subjects act around… us?” she asked while pointing back and forth between them, so as not to throw Matthias off with her intermittent slips into the royal ‘We.’

“You could always go in disguise if you wanted to. I've seen what you can so with this thing,” he said tapping the tip of her horn, “and if not, do you really think anyone’s going to give the Princess of the Night any grief for being out at night.”

“But what if they are frightened of us?”

“What better way is there to assuage such fears, than by mingling with them like a normal pony?”

By this point, Luna had all but finished straightening herself out from the ball she had curled herself into, Matthias’ words having worked in easing her earlier trepidations, replacing it with a sense of nervous anticipation and longing she hadn't felt in a millennia.

“And what of thyself?” she asked, fidgeting atop him slightly until she had come face to face with her friend.

Even on his back, and with the little alicorn lying across him, Matthias still managed to give her a shrug, “Meh, I'm not one to give much stock to the opinions of ponies who haven't taken the time to get to know me.”

“And yet, you were still upset by the reactions of Puddle Jumper and Yellow Jacket when they first laid eyes on you.”

That caught Matthias completely off guard, “Wait, you saw that?”

“I could sense thy frustration at Puddle and Yellow’s reaction to thee all the way from the throne.”

“You did?”

“We are anachronistic, dear May, not blind.”

“Right on all fronts there, I’m just surprised we still aren't washing the blood out the drapes.”

“I have been learning restraint,” she declared smugly.

“Says the pony who threw me to the floor and straddled my waist earlier.”

Her cheeks colored something fierce at that, “‘Tis a work in progress.”

“But even with all that, yes, I would still love to take you out to the carnival.”

Her face turned near Nightmare Moon black from the rush of blood burning beneath her skin as she leaned over and pecked him on the cheek, “‘Tis a date.”

Wait what?!

But before Luna could give him a chance to ask for clarification, she sat back up and reached down for his phone, scrolling back to the photo of Celestia and tittering incessantly at the look on her sister’s face:

“O most wonderful night, May. I simply must have a copy of this made, so I may fill Tia’s inbox with them 'til the end of time.”

Setting aside the can of worms he had just opened for another day, he decided to try and dissuade Luna from taking any actions that may, or may not get one or more of them banished to the sun:

“As much fun as that sounds,” he chuckled, “she would know I had a hand in it instantly, and I know I’m not valuable enough to have that kind of offense overlooked.”

Despite his aloof response and nonchalant attitude, Luna could feel the muscles beneath his shirt begin to tense and his skin cool at where they were still touching.

“Is that what happened today? Did she get upset with you?” she asked, stroking his right hand.

“Let's just say she wasn't too happy about being fooled,” he answered with a slight tremble.

“In what way?”

“Sh-she might have implied something about locking me away in Tartarus.”

“SHE WHAT!?” Luna screamed as the Royal Canterlot Voice rumbled throughout the empty garden, her eyes turning white with rage.

“Hey hey hey, to be fair, it was the end of a hellacious day, and I was playing keep away with her cake, and I mentioned that picture you showed me of you and her at the beach, and she saw that she done goofed,” he blurted out frantically, desperately trying to placate her and defend Celestia, all the while praying to the entire Lovecraftian pantheon that he hadn’t brought out Momma Moon.

“That's... still... no... excuse...,” she growled out, her eyes fading back to blue, while her frame kept trembling slightly, not having any real outlet for her fury.

“It's alright, it’s alright,” he said, rubbing her shoulders, trying to soothe her overly protective nature towards him back to sleep, “besides that wasn't really the straw that broke the camel's back.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she was so done by the end of the day that I had to carry her off to bed before she started signing bills in her sleep… again. But by the time I got her to her room, she was so out of it, that she maybe kinda sorta started stripping on me.”

Luna’s countenance was lost somewhere between ‘That bitch’ and ‘I know whose cunt I gotta punt.’ “What?”

“Easy there, girl. It was some kinda clothes changing spell, she was probably too zonked out to notice I was still holding her up,” he said, trying to reason with her, once again finding himself playing defense for Celestia.

“that cheeky little…”

“What was that?”

“Oh, uh ‘twas nothing,” she said, feigning ignorance and indifference, all the while scooting herself that much closer to him, nuzzling up to Matthias, almost possessively.

Real subtle Lu, he thought, smirking at her childlike antics as he lifted his arm up to give her more room. Which she capitalized upon immediately by hugging him from behind with her wings and pulling his arm back down, draping it across her shoulder, resuming her rightful mantle as they basked in the gentle glow of her night.

As the two settled into each other, Luna couldn't help but revel in all they had accomplished this evening, and behind it all, May had been there for her every step of the way. He had helped her through her panic at the court, had given her a seat at the table where she would no longer feel separated or superfluous, had been pivotal in the search for little Sea Star, and had continued to be somepony who made her feel like she was here and wanted, and Luna couldn't quite hold herself back anymore:

“Fuck it!”

“Excuse me!?” Matthias reeled back, shocked not only at her use of such crass language but by her use of his crass language.

“Oh sorry. It's just, I had planned on putting this together for tomorrow night’s sky, since, like you, I wanted to celebrate your eighth month living with us, but, forgive me, I just can't wait until then.”

Matthias sat up straight in anticipation. Though not much of a stargazer back on earth, his passion for sci-fi, in both literature and beyond, had motivated him to get a physics endorsement, in spite of his limited math skills. He could never quite grasp concepts such as exponentials, differential equations, and don't even get him started on Sine, Cosine, and Tangents...

Fuck the quadratic formula till it cries!

At least with physics, there had been things he could visualize, and the equations had some manner of grounding he could work from. So it came as quite the shock to him when he wound up in a world where the night sky was literally made each evening. You see, unlike the moon he had grown up under, Equestria’s moon was no mere reflector of another celestial body’s light, but rather, the source of the night sky’s blackness. Similar to how Celestia’s sun would flood the world with light each morning, Luna’s moon would generate a black backdrop each evening for her to adorn the heavens as she so chose. It had taken several demonstrations, and several stiff drinks, for him to finally come to terms with this new world’s physics, but now he simply reveled in the sheer ingenuity and fantasia of such a spectacle.

Luna stood up and walked out into the garden, but not without giving his hand a squeeze and kissing him on the cheek again, and with a wave of her hand, the billions of silver flames dotting the sky burst into a sea of shining dust...

Eat your heart out Steven Moffat!

...leaving the sky a blank canvas for her to work on. Though the painter analogy could be misconstrued since Luna didn't actually take a brush and swath the sky with starlight. Then again, neither did she simply snap her fingers and fill the sky with a Van Gogh. No, Matthias had seen Luna sing the night sky into being, play it in with all manner of instrument, he'd even seen her pull out a conductor’s wand and begin leading a symphony of the night’s denizens in a march across the heavens, stars dropping into place in time with each step. Really, Luna used whatever medium would best convey her feelings at the time, and help her best focus her magic, and each time Matthias was given the opportunity to sit in on it, it was an experience he would etch into his soul.

“Would you like to assist me?” she asked, offering him a hand.

Now, this was new. Of all the times he had borne witness to the rising of the moon and the birth of the night, not once had Luna ever needed any help, let alone ask him for it.

“You sure about this? You know me and magic don't exactly mix well.”

She giggled at his gross downplay, “Of course I need your help, my silly little human. It is for you after all.”

“So wait, you're going to have me make my own present!?”

She rolled her eyes at his snark, “Typical mortal, offer them a taste of the divine and all they wish to do is complain about senseless trivialities.”

“Alright, alright, geez,” he acquiesced, “What do I need to do?”

Luna nearly let out another squee as she hefted him off the floor for the second time this evening, jumping up and down with manic cheer before rummaging around in his pockets once more.

“First we’ll need a beat,” she said, once again pulling out his phone, working her way towards his music library, “Something we can synchronize ourselves to,” giggling as she found the song she wanted and hit play, its blaring guitar and heavy drum beat beginning to fill the now empty night as it started up.

“Luna that has got to be the most convoluted and roundabout way you could have asked me to dance ever.”

And as if on cue with the song, she twirled about and offered him a hand, screaming “Shut up and dance with me!”

Shaking his head at her childish zeal, he pulled himself against her, planting a hand on the small of her back and interlacing his fingers with her own, leading her in some mutant derivation of a swing and waltz.

“My my, I didn't know you could dance,” she marveled as she fell in with his steps.

“Why Miss Luna!” he declared in a drawl not dissimilar from that of an Appleoosan settler, “My Papi raised me as a proper gentleman of the South! So, by the time Ah was a youngin’ of ten, I was taught the fine art of Cotillion and the proper means to courtin’ a lady.”

“Am I to imply then that you are trying to court me,” she spoke coquettishly, causing Matthias to nearly stumble over her, but saved face by appearing to bring her down into a dip.

“Well uh…”

“Heh heh, you're cute when you're flustered, your colors even out,” she teased.

He gave an irritated grunt before lifting her back up, only for her to kiss him on the nose and nuzzle up against him.

“My turn.”

Luna took the lead this time, guiding him through some paces and foot/hoofwork vaguely similar to what he remembered. From then onwards, that initial awkwardness fled the scene, as the two friends continued their hybrid waltz and swing through the courtyard. There was a oneness about them, a freedom of spirit and form that singed the air with its energy. They were only themselves in this moment; without fear or doubt, without guilt or shame. All they had lost temporarily forgotten and the dread of what may come stamped out by the beat.

And it was this warmth, this connection, this freedom to be herself in his presence, that Luna latched on to, molding and shaping it, melding it together with her magic, as her joy and power soared to dizzying heights in time with the song.

Even Matthias could feel the pure, undiluted emotions radiating off of them, as if waves of statically charged bubbles were washing over him. The air seeming to ripple and wave as they continued to dance, and much like he had done earlier this evening, he let himself get lost. Allowing himself to feel nothing but the beat, to see nothing but his friend, to hear nothing but the music of a home he’d never see again, to smell nothing but the flowers fighting against the cold, and to taste nothing but the electrically charged air buzzing about the courtyard.

And as the song's end reached its peak, the guitar blasting it's last few bolts up into sky, so too did Luna finish channeling her spell, weaving their combined feelings into a matrix of pure light and power at the tip of her horn, and with the ballad's final note, she blasted her magic into the sky, letting it explode in a blast of blinding brilliance that erased everything around it in a wave of warm whiteness.

When the light had finished having its way with his face, Matthias was finally able to see what their fruits had born, and he almost wept. The normally near black blue of the typical Equestrian evening had turned a few shades and hues lighter, ranging all the way from teal to ocean green, while its silver stars were now shining in various shades of red, and pink, and blue. But above and beyond it all, hung one of the most beautiful images he had ever seen put to print or painting:

The Pillars of Creation.

They were a vision of awe-inspiring beauty that had continued to stick with him since the times of him and his mom's old Discovery Channel marathoning days, clouds of brick red proto-star matter shooting through the heavens in finger-like columns, churning and burning away as they birthed new stars into existence. Even watching stills on a television screen or on a computer monitor had taken his breath away back in the day, hell the Imax dome experience he had watched had nearly left him brain dead from the sheer overpowering beauty of the sight. But to see it as if you were standing right in front of it, to bear witness to stars being born before your very eyes, Matthias was left without words.

A soft hand gripping his own brought him back down to Equestria, “Do you like it?” Luna asked, 99% sure she knew the answer but didn't want to assume anything where her friend was concerned, only for her fears to be assuaged when he locked her in a bear hug, his body shaking with pure unbridled joy.

“Thank you!”

Such feelings were apparently infectious as Luna couldn't help but follow in his footsteps, gripping onto him just as tightly, giggling gleefully that her plan had worked such wonders.

“How did you even...?”

“You showed me the picture once when we got your phone working again. I thought seeing some of your old sky would be a welcomed experience.”

“Yes! Oh gods, yes!” he cried, tightening his embrace, trying desperately to convey to her just how much what she had done meant to him.

But, as with most things between them, words were not needed, as she could tell just from his body language that she had succeeded. So instead of potentially ruining the moment, she chose to just support him, and let him ride out the high he was experiencing from her display.

Somewhere in the distance, whether from some random guard settling into his post, or a castle staff freaking the fuck out at the sight of the night sky simultaneously blowing up and being replaced with something never to have graced the skies of Equestria before, the sound of metal scraping on stone began echoing throughout the castle, piercing the sanctuary of their garden and slamming into them.

And Matthias was gone.

The grating sound tore him away from Luna's embrace, drowning out her night in a brine of stale tears and shredded skin, ripping apart all sense of self and being. The kiss of warmth and winter collapsed into the pit eroding away at the center of his soul, retching up stillborn chimeras ready and willing to welcome him home with open arms. All light faded, all hope withered, and all joy shriveled up into clouds of black dust as he felt oily claws and rotten teeth rake across his skin. He wanted to scream, to cry out it in desperation, to let somebody, anybody, know that he was here, that he needed help. But he could barely breathe as pitted iron began weaving its way into his throat, tightening with each failed attempt to cry. He couldn't stop shaking. He shook, and shook, and shook, as deranged, greasy laughter lashed out over his flesh, as yellow fangs and jagged nails made ready to rip into him again and again and aga--

Hmm-hm-hm-hmm-hm, Hmm-hm-hm-hmm-hm

The melody was soft as silk but carried the strength of a mother’s love as it cut through the blackness engulfing him. As Matthias gradually came to, he found himself on his knees, the soft grass and ground squelching beneath him, soaking his pant legs ever so slightly. Slowly becoming aware of a comfortable pressure pressing against his cheek, vibrating in time with the song.

Hmm-hmhm-hm-hm, Hm-hmhm-hm-hm, Hmhmhm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm-hm

Matthias looked up in wonder, only to find Luna coddling him, her arms wrapped around his head, pressing him into her chest as she continued to hum the little lullaby.

Hm-hm-hm, hm-hm,hm, hm-hmm-hm, Hm-hm-hm, hm-hm,hm, hm-hmm-hm

Gradually, his breathing evened out, and his shaking subsided, leaving him fully there in Luna’s embrace.

Noticing his episode subsiding, Luna gently cupped his cheek to bring him eye level with her, worry and relief staining her face alongside her tears.

“I'm sorry,” he said, shame lacing every syllable, trying not to make eye contact with her out of guilt and desperation.

But Luna was having none of that. She rested her forehead against his, careful not to bash him with her horn, and ran her fingers through his hair while keeping a hand on his left cheek.

“Stop that right now!” she scolded as gently as possible, “This isn't your fault! They did this to you! You have nothing to apologize for.”

Her words were like a balm on a burn, and he clung to that relief like a drowning man at sea, letting her just rock him back and forth like the scared child he had become.

“Tia really did a number on you, huh?”

“I don't know,” he groaned in frustration, “Normally I can take the teasing and the affection. It makes me feel safe. Whole even, but…”

“But then the loss and the fear are hot on its hooves,” she finished for him.

He chuckled, both at her mixed metaphor and how easily she could figure him out, and began hugging her back.

“Are you alright? Am I making you feel uncomfortable?” she asked worriedly.

“I'm fine,” he laughed, nuzzling her back this time, “ B-but do you, do you think we could…?” he asked hesitantly.

“Of course my friend,” she said, returning his hug with gusto, making sure he realized that he was here, with her, and that she wouldn't let anything happen to him.

“Should I talk with her?" she asked, "We wouldn't want her to continue with such affections if they're going to leave you like this.”

“No, I don't think she's the problem-”

“And it's not you either.”

That got his heart rate going, “Debatable. But she's got enough on her plate as is. She's still feeling bad about what happened in the Deeps.”

“I thought you forgave her?”

“Her and Shiny. It's almost a bloody drinking game. Pour one every time she sees me and frowns, knock it back if she tries to apologize, make it a double if I can't cut her off in time. She just can't seem to get past it.”

Luna nodded in understanding, “‘Tis easier to earn forgiveness from others than give it to one’s self.”

“The Tantabus.”

She nodded, nuzzling him in the process.

“I don't want to worry you guys.”

“You're our friend, it comes with the territory. I'd still worry for you, even if you weren't losing your damn mind.”

He snorted, then chuckled, then laughed. Laughed as hard as he could. Laughed at Luna’s use of modern vernacular, laughed in defiance of all the shit the universe had dumped on him, laughed just to spite the uncaring void that seemed to get its jollies from trying to break him down.

Luna looked a little worried, “Oh did I say it wrong?! Shit! I thought that was the right cont-,” but whatever she was about to say was crushed beneath an embrace as she found herself pulled into his chest this time.

“No, no Luna, that was perfect,” he said while ruffling her mane, laughing as the stars lining her lochs played across his skin.

Luna melted into his embrace, a giddiness filling her chest near to bursting, sensing that her actions, no matter how small, had helped her friend.

“Never change, Lu.”

“With you, I don't have to.”

They held their embrace for a while, falling into a comfortable silence as they continued to watch Luna’s latest masterpiece play out before them.

“It's a shame you gotta erase this come morning, though I'm sure someone’s going to have an aneurysm if you keep it up too long,” he said pointing to the light-years wide star forge, as it continued to churn out stars.

Luna gave another giggle, before lighting up her horn again. The white light gradually shifting to a pale blue, which she then promptly plucked from her horn, placing it in her palm.

“Do not worry, friend Matthias, this night, these feelings, they’re now as much a part of me as you are,” she explained before placing the tiny star into her mane, where it joined thousands of its brethren, “and I will treasure it always.”

She then gripped his hand before leaning into him, closing her eyes and wrapping him in her wings and wrapping herself in his warmth.

For the first time in a good long while, Matthias was well and truly baffled by her actions. Yes, Luna had always been the more touchy-feely of the royal sisters. Having a borderline unhealthy obsession with making him blush, and always wore her heart on her sleeve, never afraid to let Matthias know what she was feeling. Though he usually just attributed this to her having lost almost a millennia’s worth of time to mature, what with her blinking and finding herself a thousand years into a future without any grounding in this new modernity’s social sensibilities.

But now, he couldn't really get a read on the mare, her words, and levels of affection this evening a step beyond anything she had previously showered him with. However, as Matthias continued to try and piece together the puzzle that was Luna, he found that he neither really cared nor was he really bothered by it. Leaning into her just as hard, he closed his eyes and once more found himself letting go of his self, but this time instead of embracing the peaceful emptiness, he focused in on the spark he shared with Luna, relishing in how he could trust her, how he could accept her, and, how, right from the get-go, she had accepted him.

Staring down at the fertile fields and cresting hills surrounding Canterlot Castle, Matthias Martin wondered, with curious trepidation, why he hadn't jumped already.

You see, it had been just under a week since he'd woken up to a crying horse lady hovering over his bed, in more pain than he'd felt in months, and since then, he hadn't been able to get a moment’s rest. As every waking minute, he was either getting some newfangled test or cure-all blasted into him, only to have it fail spectacularly because their so-called "magic" couldn't seem to gel with him, getting enough blood drawn to tinge him yellow, or being asked non-stop questions that he either couldn’t answer, or didn't want to.

But as much as he would have loved to just tell them all to fuck off, to just shut the hell up for five goddamn minutes so he could have a moment to think, to just give him some space so he could process what in the holy hell was going on around him, or any number of other expletive-laden rebukes. Aside from all those being completely non-conducive to opening up any decent form of diplomatic dialogue, the fact of the matter was, he still couldn't talk.

He was lucky though, in the loosest, sadistically ironic definition of the word, as the ponies, as they referred to themselves, spoke his language. And after a misunderstanding between a few orderlies and a shampoo bottle, they had discovered that they also shared the same written language as well. So they were able to have more meaningful discussions than what his initial hand gestures and nods would allow.

Just wish they could get my name right, he thought as he kept leaning over the edge. They'd just about labeled him with every possible derivative of his name he thought feasible, and then some: Matt-hi-ass, Mat-thee-us, Mat-Ace (how'd they lose the i on that one?), and still hadn’t even gotten close to working out an approximation.

Why'd that phonics class have to be so bang-your-head-on-something-really-hard boring, he bemoaned, remembering a college overnight where he had gotten to sit in on a class. But it had been on a Friday, and like the sensible people they were, all the lit professors had worked their schedules so that they didn’t have to teach any classes, so he got stuck in the middle of a low-speed train crash of a course on the origins and theory behind word pronunciation.

And that, children, is why we stay awake in class; because learning how to denote the proper stresses and accents of words and letters may, in fact, be relevant to your life.

He chuckled at that little bit of irony, only for a barrage of nostalgia and homesickness to sneak up behind him with a sock full of nickels and bash him upside the temple:

Is Dad okay it hurts are they still looking never see them again lost Mom’s hair’s gotta be white by now please be okay how’s Grandma would she even understand what’s the point who’s keeping her out of uncle George’s hair miss them stuck can’t go back lost alone WHY WHY WHY?

Ever since he had woken up it was like his brain had no neutral gear. It was either dead stop or full throttle into a wall, and he had no idea what caused it, or when it would happen next. Even when his thoughts weren't running a mile a minute, he couldn't relax for a second, as some errant thought or sound could send him spiraling into a veritable meat grinder of conflicting thoughts and feelings, all screaming at him like a band saw pressed up against his head.

And now he stood in some neglected garden, staring down at what he guessed Minas Tirith would look like if it was hung from the mountain instead built into it. He had just needed to get out of that damn room, get away from the ponies who would be all smiles and good cheer one moment, and then panicking and calling for the guards at the slightest sudden movement. So he had waited for a lull in the security rotations and slipped out. Oh, he wasn't completely unreasonable, he had left them a note saying he was going for a walk (see, diplomatic) and that he planned on being back soon.

Lucky for him, the concept of a nightlife seemed foreign to these ponies. So he didn't run into any of them as he bobbed and weaved through the corridors of the castle, hoping to find someplace to sort himself out, without being harassed by some miniature horse person.

And then there's this whole, 'holy shit I'm actually tall,' crap.

Of all the ponies he had interacted with, only Celestia the sun pony, was taller than him, and it was only by negligible inches. All the others, on average, whether it was the flying ones, pointy ones, or the bulky ones, came up to his nose or chin, barely getting over 5 ft tall at best, so he was constantly looking down all the time in order for him to make eye contact, and make the tiny equines go pale.

Oh yes, how could we forget about the face?!

Ever since he had found himself in those damn caves, he knew he'd been broken. Sure there was barely any light to see with and no mirrors, but from how his arm and hand looked, and how they felt the same as the left side of his head, he could make some pretty good guesses as to how he looked now. And once he had woken up in civilization, he could indeed confirm that his face looked like it had given a high five to 50 feet of bad road.

At first, he thought he could live with it, after all, he had been a teacher, not a fashion model, so he figured he could just grin and bear it. But then he'd catch himself in the mirror after a shower or a pony'd suddenly find the floor fascinating while they were talking to him, and once again he'd be reminded of the literal hell he had been through and, second verse same as the first, the cycle would begin again.

That's not to say the ponies were treating him badly. In fact, compared to his time in the Deeps, he was getting the royal welcome. Celestia would drop by every day to check up on him and talk, giving him some tidbit or factoid of information about the strange new world he found himself in, and he'd write about some similarities in history and structure from his home. The doctors were also respectful and professional with him, asking for permission and consent before running or giving him anything, wanting to avoid another shower incident. But as best as they tried to hide it, he could see through the masks. The guilt eating away at the princess over how she handled his discovery, the stiffness and knee-jerk reactions of the hospital staff whenever they were near him, and the almost constant asking of “How are you doing” when they were just as ready to bolt out the door… It was just too much dissonance for him to handle.

So he needed a place without distraction or pony people, so he could figure out if life, in this strange new world, was still worth living.

They're afraid of me.

To be fair, that's the natural reaction when dealing with an alien they've only known for a week. Especially since you're a carnivore and they're herbivores.

They keep hurting me.

They also saved your life, and are trying their best to make you comfortable.

I've been mangled.

So, you can still see, can still move. It's not like you've lost a limb or a sense.

I'm an English Lit. teacher, there's no way they're gonna let me near kids. Hell, for all I know the symbols, themes, and motifs of this culture are completely different.

Won't it be fun to figure them out though?

I'm alone.

...

My family’s gone.

…

They don't know how to get me home.

...

Can I even go home like this?

…

I can't sleep.

…

Am I even worth It?

…

No

With his mind made up, he swung a leg over the edge and braced himself for the drop, hoping it would be quick enough for him not to regret it halfway down. But as he made to raise his other leg over the railing, he found himself hesitating yet again...

Come on, a month ago you would have jumped at the chance (*ba dum tsss*), what's the holdup?

And all he could think about was Celestia’s guilt-ridden face, the pony ladies who had washed the wounds he had gotten sticking up for their charges, and the little fillies who would snuggle up to him at night, trying to find some comfort in that hellhole.

Fuck ‘em! They're back home with people who give a damn about them, while you're stuck here dealing with a bunch of two-faced horse men just as ready to stab you as save you. You owe them nothing, they owe you everything, and they aren't paying up, so for once in your life, think about yourself for once and do something to make the pain stop!

He made another attempt at lifting his leg over the side, before letting out a resigned sigh, or at least pantomiming one, and swinging himself back onto solid ground.

Nobody owes anyone anything. We take what we can scrape together, and hope it gets us through the day, he thought as he fell back onto the semi-damp grass and dirt, using its chill to try and focus as he shut his eyes.

Why couldn't they've just killed me like they were supposed too?

With his flight plans put on hold for the moment and with the soft sounds of Spring proving to be a wonderful white noise against the world around him, Matthias figured he could afford a few minutes to just let himself get lost. Noting how the air tasted slightly sweet and smelled of flowers and chimney smoke as he began to slow his breathing. Taking deeper and deeper breaths as he focused solely on the sounds of the wind weaving through the old statues spread out across the garden and the rhythmic trickling of some unseen stream nearby. Hell, it was nearly enough to ease him off to sleep, but the feel of wet grass and cold metal against his skin weren't very conducive to a good night's rest. So he opened his eyes and made ready to search for a better spot, only for his vision to be completely crushed beneath the sheer intensity of the night sky above him.

Back on Earth he had been lucky enough to live a somewhat decent ways away from the city and avoid a lot of the light pollution it gave off, allowing him an unobstructed view of Orion, Pisces, and the Ursas. Yet even then, it seemed like most nights they were the only stars in the sky, just a few clustered bursts of light surrounded by a sea of inky blackness. But now, looking up at this world's sky for the first time, he could hardly find a speck of black amidst the shimmering sea of swirling silver suns, their soft glow nearly burning the night sky blue.

Matthias was finally able to check out completely as he tried to process just how in the actual hell he had missed all this?! Each star seemed perfectly placed in order to complement its neighbor and even out the distribution of its light, dyeing the space between each speck of silver differing shades of blue. He could roughly piece together groupings that were clearly this world's constellations, but with no decent grounding in their myths and symbols, there was no way he could determine their shapes and meanings.

So he amused himself by trying to make up his own:

Pelipus the Pelican, Rodenatus the Raccoon, Genearea the Giraffe, Steve the Steven...

A metallic clacking woke him from his musings, but not so much that it made him want to sit up, so he just flipped his head back, ready to be apprehended by the lucky guard who was gonna catch the human, only to find another princess standing before him, albeit upside down.

“Hmmm. So I am to assume then that you're the reason why my guards are running about as if somepony had set their tails on fire.”

Rigid cadence, Slight trepidation, natural formality... What are you supposed to be?

Still unable to scrape together enough motivation to sit back up completely, he simply shrugged before reaching into the pocket of the weird hospital gown/robe he was wearing, pulling out the tiny notebook, little vial of ink, and quill he had been using to talk with the ponies attending to him. After scribbling down a note, he tore it out and held the sheet up between two fingers, intending to hand it over to her, only for a sparkling breeze to whisk it away and bring it to the princess.

‘Sorry. Didn't mean to cause you grief. Just needed someplace without all the noise.’

“Oh no, no, we did not mean to imply that thou hath wrought any injury upon ourselv… oops oh sorry, I mean, you did nothing wrong it's just, oh I didn't expect anypon… I mean body to be out here at this time of night, let alone, thee, I mean you!”

Eat your heart out, Ben Jonson, he thought, righting himself to get a better look at this strange pony. She had a dark blue coat, nearly bordering on black, with a flowing mane similar to her sister’s, save for the stars instead of a pastel aurora. He couldn't really get a read on how tall she was from his current position, but from what he remembered in his “talks” with Celestia, he could assume she was around the same height as him, if not smaller.

Currently, the Princess was fidgeting with the sleeve of her dress, a frilly, ankle length number that looked more at home in a formal ball rather than some rundown garden. Trying her best to regain her composure while slipping in and out of what Matthias assumed to be the Equestrian equivalent to Early Modern English in her panic, though not at him surprisingly.

Hoping to alleviate the stressed out pony, he stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder, instantly tearing her out of her mild freak out. He started taking deep breaths, gesturing for her to follow suit, which the princess picked up on after a few seconds, steadily settling herself. Once he had calmed her down some, he broke contact with her so he could hold up another note for her:

‘Thou hast offered me no offense fair lady, though I must ask thy forgiveness for setting such a state upon thee,’ he said before moving to drop into a bow, only for a pair of firm hands to stop him, gripping him by the biceps.

“Please, you need not bow on my account, though thine actions and use of the classic tongue is appreciated, if not somewhat surprising.”

From their new vantage point, he saw his initial estimates to be correct, as he now stood an inch or two taller than her. He found himself being drawn to her eyes, an appropriate shade of royal blue and found an odd mixture of relief and anticipation swimming beneath them.

Finding the strange turn of events oddly refreshing, he found himself pulling out more sheets from his notebook, wanting to keep talking to the mare:

‘Once upon a time, I was a teacher of literature. I taught my students everything from the modern masterpieces to the foundational classics. So, though I claim to be no expert on the subject, thine lexicon is no stranger to me,’ he said while giving her a grin. Only for his eyes to widen as he slapped his hand over his mouth, remembering how a couple of orderlies had recoiled in terror when he tried to thank them for their efforts.

Now it was the dark horse’s turn to chuckle, as she rested a hand on his arm, “‘Tis alright, good sir. Once upon a time, my sister and I played host to all manner of species, both carnivore and herbivore alike, so I know you meant no disrespect by your gesture, and am glad that I have been able to brighten thine evening,” she said, offering him a reassuring smile, "Oh, but what kind of host am I not to have introduced myself? I'm Luna Lacus of Equestria, Regent of the stars and Princess of the Night," she said, extending him a deep blue hand.

Matthias relaxed a bit, relieved knowing that he hadn't upset her, and wrote down what he hoped would be an appropriate introduction:

Hello, I'm Matthias Martin of Earth, Scholar and Teacher, and it's a pleasure to make thine acquaintance.

This time Luna reached out to grab the paper herself, the velvet soft fur of her fingers brushing against his hand slightly as she took the note from him, sending waves of tingling warmth shooting up and down his arm from where they made contact. She looked unsure for a second as she continued to read over his message but a moment or two later she steeled herself with one more calming breath before offering him her hand once again, a confident smile worming its way across her face:

"The pleasure is all mine 'Maytheeus,' and on behalf of the Night and all her denizens I welcome thee to Equestria!"

Luna was taken aback slightly when he didn't grasp her hand but started shaking instead. Afraid that she had insulted the poor creature, remembering Celestia explaining the many failed attempts at trying to find a proper pronunciation for his name, she tried to offer an apology, only for her to be cut off as he threw his head back in a fit uproarious laughter, albeit without any sound whatsoever. It was simultaneously the most joyous and tragic sight Luna had ever beheld.

"D-did We say it wrong?”

After Matthias had pulled himself together he quickly wrote up another note and handed it over to her, ‘No no that's fine. In fact, that's the closest you lot have gotten. Serves me right for sleeping through that phonics class,’ he said taking her offered hand, ‘But in the interests of saving time and wasting effort, you can call me May your highness.’

Luna relaxed knowing she hadn't offended him and offered Matthias a warm, welcoming smile as she shook their now linked hands.

“‘Tis a unique name, even amongst these parts.”

A flash of love and nostalgia shone across his face as he gave her another note, ‘What can I say? My mother was a fan of alliteration and kightly mice; it was bound to happen.’

Matthias had to fight back another fit of silent chuckles as she tilted her head in confusion, trying to figure out what any of what he had written meant. Idly noticing that for the first time since this whole ordeal started, he was steady. Oh sure, he could still feel the accumulated fear and lament scratching and clawing away beneath the floorboards of his consciousness, but they were no longer front and center, his focus resting fully on the strangely dichotomous diarch standing in front of him.

"Be that as it may, if I must be forced to rely upon such abbreviated appellations in order to address thee properly, then thou may do'est the same and simply refer to me as Luna," she offered, having finally given up trying to decipher the strange scrawl he had handed her.

‘Is such conduct even allowed?’ he asked, trying not to overstep any bounds.

"I am co-ruler of Equestria and Diarch of the Night! Woe be onto the pony who tells me how to conduct myself, and others, when outside of my station!" she declared passionately, though mirth and merriment bounced along each syllable, which Matthias couldn't help but pick up and join in on.

‘So I take it referring to thee as "Lu," or "Lulu," would be fair game as well?’ he ribbed, remembering the pet names the Sun Horse had referred to her sister by when she visited.

"Dammit Tia," he heard her whisper before letting out a defeated sigh, "'Tis not my place to tell thee how to label mine self, but be warned. I may not be held responsible for how I react should you choose to address me as such," she warned as her countenance suddenly shifted, turning equal parts serious and threatening, although her eyes continued to shake energetically betraying her teasing.

‘So Luna,’ he wrote out while pantomiming comically nervous shaking, surprising and delighting the princess to no end, ‘does this mean I have to go back to my room? It's homely and all, but it doesn't quite have the view to match that,’ he asked while throwing a thumb towards the night sky.

For some reason, the mare's eyes seemed to light up and her demeanor became the slightest bit bubblier. “I most certainly hope not! Usually I come here to escape the throngs of ponies seeking my aid and counsel,” she scoffed while rolling her eyes with enough force to shake her head slightly, laying on the sarcasm so thick you could cut it with butter, “but if you wouldn't mind mine presence, may We ask that you to give us sanctuary within your company?”

Curiouser and curiouser, he thought, as he gave her vigorous nod, allowing himself to be yanked over to a nearby bench, shocked at the little pony's surprising strength.

"Is it true what thou hast said? Dost thou truly find mine evening pleasurable?" she excitedly asked once they had taken a seat, the position she had found him in and his earlier compliment having not gone unnoticed by her.

He nodded once more before scratching out, ‘It's breathtaking! We've nothing like it back on Earth, at least not where I lived. I've never seen the sky so lit up before, it's like the stars go on forever!’ He would have kept loading on the compliments, seeing as those three sentences alone had her practically bouncing (no, definitely bouncing now) in her seat, but her phrasing begged one serious question, ‘What do you mean by "mine evening?"’

Luna read the new note with quiet confusion plastered across her face as her eyes began scrutinizing what was left of Matthias' face, trying to determine if he was being serious or not.

"It is as We said," she declared, lighting her horn and slowly twirling her index finger, "We are the Princess of the Night, all its facets and features fall under our domain and control," she declared, finishing her explanation with one last flourish of her finger before signaling him to look back up.

Matthias nearly had a seizure when he saw the previously stationary stars begin circling about the sky as if they were nothing more than one of those red and green laser light decorations lazy families set up in their yards during Christmas. It was just bloody surreal, watching the constellations he had been putting together burst apart (go with God, young Steve!) and twirl about as if there was absolutely no weight to them. Matthias found himself simply pawing at the sky, hoping desperately to see his hand break the beams of light, or at the very least prove to himself that there really was a sky above him. But as he attempted to make another swipe, Luna grasped his wrist and laid it on his lap, while another hand went to pull his jaw from the floor.

Matthias turned to stare at the blue mare, unbridled awe and wonder pouring out of his eyes, only for Luna to give him a coquettish smile and as she pointed to her crown, "These raiments are not just for show, you know?"

‘WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO?!,’ he hurriedly scribbled out, nearly knocking over his inkwell and dotting his note with dozens of black blots as he tried to throw words on paper as fast as he could.

Luna's fur was nearly singed from the sheer excitement sparking off Matthias, his eyes wide with childlike wonder. Giggling and blushing at the prospect of having an audience to truly appreciate her nightly efforts, Luna decided to put on a little show for him, "Well... aside from assigning them their stations, I determine their levels of luminosity," she bragged, the words barely leaving her mouth before the evening began to shine even brighter, the stars burning that much hotter for a few seconds.

"Their numbers," she said beginning to twirl in place a few times before pulling a blazing diamond out from behind her back and presenting it to Matthias, but just as he tried to reach out and touch it, she shot him a wink and threw it into the air, a solid swath of white carving up the sky behind it as it went to find its designated seat alongside its brethren.

"And most importantly, the positioning and phases of my station," she explained, pointing out her namesake as it began to cycle through all of its variants, running the full gambit from full to new and everything in between.

For the first time in what felt like forever, Matthias found himself moved to the point of being overwhelmed. Now, this wasn't the same as the nonstop barrage of fear and loathing that had been threatening to sing him off the edge before Luna had shown up. No, this was all his thoughts and feelings being clocked to full capacity, each sense and errant thought marshaled together in order to fully process the world around him, burying everything else beneath the barrage of sensory input. Truly making it feel as if the hell he had made it through was nothing more than a bad dream.

"..y, ..ay, ...MAY!"

A terrified shout and some violent shaking finally brought him back to Earth (or Equestria), as he found Luna sitting in his lap gripping him by the shoulders, fear and shame carved into every feature of her face. He made a show out of wildly shaking his head, showing Luna that he had snapped out of it, that he was alright, and that she could ease up in her not so gentle ministrations.

"Oh thank the stars! We thought We had shocked thee senseless," she said, relief washing the fear from her face but leaving the shame, as she refused to make eye contact with him, choosing instead to stare down at her lap, "Please, We beg thy forgiveness, We had simply wished to give thee a demonstration of our talents, We had no idea it would frighten thee so."

Matthias reached up and cupped both her cheeks gently and nudged her face up so she could look him in the eye. Sure, some might have considered it a bold move on his part, but considering she was currently straddling his waist, he was willing to take a chance, especially if it meant pulling her out of her current slump.

Once he had her full and undivided attention, he gave her a warm smile and shook his head back and forth a few times before reaching down and writing her another note:

‘No, no, that was spectacular! That little display had to be the most awe-inspiring sight I've seen since waking up!’

Luna's tenseness began to subside some with his reassurance, "Truly?"

He nodded and handed her a second note: ‘It made me forget about the caves. Thank you.’

This time it was Luna's turn to freeze as the full weight of Matthias's words sunk in, causing her remaining tensions to fade away, replaced with what looked like an odd assortment of relief, joy, and fulfillment fighting for supremacy across her muzzle, before she wrapped her arms around his neck and began squeezing.

"You are most certainly welcome!" she said with a strange echo ringing throughout her voice as she began to furiously rub her cheek up and down the left side of his face.

This had the immediate consequence of turning Matthias's whole head into blushing red bulb, his face glowing so fiercely he swore he could see Luna's coat turn purple. But before he could voice, or write, his complaints, Luna seemed to pick up on the awkwardness of the situation and swung herself off him, returning to where she had been sitting previously.

"*cough* We apologize, it is rare to find somepony who truly appreciates our efforts, let alone one with whom they have brought such a sense of peace to."

Matthias tried his best to laugh, but once more found himself lamenting that thrice-damned ring around his neck when only wispy breaths escaped his lips. So he did his best to show that he took no offense from her spontaneous act of affection by taking her hand in his and petting it gently, offering her a full smile without any pause or fear:

‘It's no problem. But I am shocked that none of your subjects would want to stay up to see something so awe-inspiring.’

Once more Luna brightened at the compliments to her talent, before looking down again and sighing dejectedly, "Yes, our little ponies work and play so hard throughout the day that few have the time or energy to waste come the evening."

Matthias knew that look. It was the look of a part-timer brought in with the promise of advancement and benefits if they proved themselves, only for him to bust his ass for a year and get assigned work three levels above his station while still being kept at the same pay grade in order to cut costs. Sympathizing with the poor mare, he moved his hand up to her shoulder and started rubbing gently, before handing her another scrap of paper:

‘You're a better mare than me. If I had that kind of power and no one around to see it, I'd've filled the sky with enough obscene words and gestures to make a sailor blush.’

This got the blue alicorn giggling as she started searching about the area, as if making sure nobody else was around, "Don't tell anypony, but one time after Tia had made a comment insinuating my flanks were becoming more and more shaped like my charge, I may or may not have moved the Western stars into a caricature of her stuffing her face full of cake!" she said breaking down in manic cackling, which Matthias joined in on, albeit much quieter.

Once the two had pulled themselves together, Matthias offered her a note assuring her his secrecy:

‘Don’t worry, my lips are sealed,’ he wrote giving her a bemused smile and miming a zipping motion across his lips.

But instead of relief or her continued impishness, he found worry and concern, for him, beginning to worm its way onto her face, "Thou shouldn't belittle thine condition, especially if it is to put me at ease," she said laying a hand upon his, "we know thine acclimation has not been gentle."

Feeling like an ass for killing the fun, Matthias started to write: ‘I'm okay. It's just-’

“It's just one minute you feel like everything is fine,” she said interrupting him mid-sentence, “and then you hear them whisper, or they stare too long, reminding you again and again that what hath transpired truly happened. You walk about in a daze and the world appears to be as you had left it, until some oddity breaks through the simulacra, leaving you unsure when and where you are, until somepony shows you that everything you had known is gon… Oh, forgive me mine ramblings! We did not mean to-”

Whatever Luna was about to say got cut off by Matthias latching onto her hands. Startled by his sudden actions, she looked up from where they were now connected to stare into his eyes, desperation and hope screaming at her, like somepony who had been drowning for hours finally finding flotsam to cling to. He was trembling, and those deep green eyes of his, which had appeared so dead and lifeless when she had first found him, were now burning as intensely as her sister's sun. But once again dread and panic waged war across his face, and he tried to scoot away from her, only for Luna to maintain her hold on him, pulling him that much more into her.

How long has he been holding himself together like this, she thought, stroking his hands with her thumbs, trying to reassure him that it was alright for him to touch her, that he was safe with her, and, though she regretted it, not wanting to break contact with one of the few ponies in the past one thousand years who was not afraid to touch her.

Which made Matthias relax into her, letting her tiny frame just fill him with the ethereal warmth radiating off her, a heat that reached all the way to his core, melting away the perpetual chill that had been eating away at him like ice filled tumors. He wanted to thank her, shout at the top of his lungs that she was right, to scream his throat raw begging her to help him, but all he could do was sit there and shake. After few more seconds like this, he decided to just go for it and hug her, wanting to offer her whatever modicum of comfort and joy he could to reflect how much her words and actions had helped him. Hoping she wouldn't think his actions too forward of him, only for his fears to be assuaged when she started hugging him back with equal fervor.

After a few more minutes holding each other like this, Matthias finally broke away so he could write her an apology:

‘Sorry about all that, and thanks.’

“‘Tis no trouble at all,” she reassured him, “both my sister and Princess Twilight have been helping me work through similar adjustments, and I have found that having a friend at mine side makes the process go that much smoother.”

Relief, over having not scared away the one pony who seemed to get was going on inside his head, crashed into him, pushing away all the bleak thoughts that were still trying to lure him off the edge with their siren song. Though the way she phrased her assurance did catch him off guard:

Wait did she just call me a-

"STEP AWAY FROM THE PRINCESS, NOW!!!," came an overly authoritative voice from above them. Breaking away from Luna, Matthias found one of the rare bat-type ponies, who tended to skulk about the halls whenever the sun went down, perched atop the old gazebo they were sitting next to, decked head to toe (hoof, dammit!) in what looked like obsidian plate mail. However, despite how heavy it looked, the mare, he assumed from both the voice and how pronounced the armor was around the chest, looked unimpeded as she crouched down into an almost predatory stance, dagger drawn and ready to pounce at any perceived threat to her ruler, "Last, warning! STEP! BACK!"

Matthias was just about to snap to, Fight and Flight having had a quick palaver and deciding rolling over would be better than another hole in his gut when thunder and lighting began crashing across the garden, the winds suddenly picking up and forming a protective vortex around him and Luna:

"CAPTAIN STARRY STAND DOWN THIS INSTANT!" rang the little princess's voice with enough force to knock the well-armed batpony near off her perch, that strange warble from before returning and somehow amplifying her now overbearing voice to near-deafening levels.

Say what you will about the gung-ho batpony, she knew how to follow orders, as within a span of two seconds she had not only sheathed her blade but had also made it off of the gazebo and had landed in a bow right in front of Luna, "Ma'am! Are you alright?"

"Of course We are alright! I was simply educating friend May on the nature of our sky! What in Harmony's name would possess you to think We were in danger?" she asked, her volume having sunk down from its wrath of God levels into the R. Lee Ermey with a microphone range.

"Ma'am, we received word that the creature had escaped from his hospital room. I scrambled all available guards hoping to apprehend him before he could potentially hurt himself or others. When I came by to check in the gardens, I saw him grabbing on to you and acted accordingly."

Well, at least she offered me a warning? Matthias thought, grateful that he hadn't gotten stabbed but still feeling on edge and somewhat stung from having a knife drawn on him.

"Creature? Is that how we have taken to referring to our guests since our return?" she said with an angry *snort*, the fine hairs of her coat beginning to bristle.

To her credit, the guardsmare was taking her chewing out like a champ, but she was starting to cave a little beneath her diarch's indignant tongue lashing, trembling at each fury laced word, causing the plates of her glassy black armor to rattle and scrape together. But as much as Matthias was enjoying having somebody so passionately come to his defense, another part of him couldn't help but feel for the poor guard getting berated for just doing her job. So, in an effort to calm Luna down and spare the poor mare shaking on the ground any further indignities, he placed a hand on Luna's shoulder, halting her furious twitching, and gave her another slip of paper:

‘It's alright. We haven't been introduced yet.’

This seemed to shock Luna back to what he assumed to be baseline as she ceased in her verbal beatdown of her subordinate. Once he was sure she had regained her composure some, he dropped down into a sitting position in front of the black-clad guard, now able to notice the silver inlay carved into her armor, probably denoting her rank and station, and offered her a greeting and a note of her own:

‘Hello, I'm Matthias, but, for the sake of making this less awkward than it already is, you can call me May.’

The mare gave the hand in front of her an unsure frown as she looked between Matthias and Luna, only accepting his offered hand when her princess gave her an affirming nod, allowing her permission to speak and rise:

"Captain Starry Night of the Lunar Guard, forgive me my rashness and indiscretion."

Matthias just smiled and shook his head, waving his other hand in a gesture he hoped would translate to "it's water under the bridge," smiling even more when he saw her let out the breath she had been holding and eased up some.

With the initial awkwardness and storm clouds cleared away, the atmosphere around the garden took on a much more civil air, with all parties facing each other as people, err two ponies and a person, instead of a soldier, a perceived threat, and a ruler. Having reigned in her fury over her soldier's reaction to finding Matthias, Luna realized how demeaning her own reactions must have sounded and offered her Captain an apology:

"I apologize, Captain Night. I should not have been so harsh to thee simply for performing thy duties and looking out for my well-being," she said while looking upon her soldier solemnly.

"N-no your majesty," the mare tried to stammer out as quickly as possible, "you were right to chastise me for assuming the worst and not giving Sir May the respect he is due, but the gesture is appreciated nonetheless." She said offering her ruler a small reassuring smile.

Luna seemed to fully relax finally, and the night seemed to brighten with the return of its ruler's peace of mind. However, these turns of events had gotten Matthias thinking and he quickly scribbled out a couple more notes and handed them off to Luna and Starry:

‘Are the other guards going to be just as intense?’

‘Can I expect to have weapons drawn on me until I'm back in my room?’

Starry looked up after she finished reading, eyes burning with defiance, "Over my rotten corpse they will," she nearly shouted, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, once more sending those warm waves from earlier crashing through him. "Ma’am, with your permission I'd like to go call off the search before any other misunderstandings can occur," she asked, looking down slightly, out of embarrassment.

"Permission granted Captain, and be sure to inform the hospital staff that I shall take responsibility for May until such time that he feels comfortable returning."

The dark blue bat pony gave Luna an affirmative and saluted before turning to Matthias, "Sorry again sir, next time I'll be sure to have a good excuse before pulling steel on ya!" she said flashing him a cheeky, snaggle-toothed grin before flying off, one he couldn't help but return as he watched her soar into the sky and disappear behind a tower.

"Forgive me the zeal of mine guards, they can oft times be overly protective of our safety and welfare. We hope that We haven't frightened you away from the prospect of our company," she begged slightly, embarrassment dyeing her face nearly black.

‘'Tis no trouble at all milady,’ he wrote trying to reassure her, ‘and thank you for sticking up for me. And don't you worry, it'll take more than a few overprotective ponies to turn me away from thy companionship. Though I must apologize for offering you little in terms of a peaceful evening.’

Luna relaxed once again and her colors returned to her normal midnight blue hue, "You are most welcome again friend May, and you needn't worry about me, you are definitely a most welcome distraction during these oh so busy nights," she said falling in next to him.

And there was that word again. When she had spoken it earlier it seemed to be almost ancillary and in passing, but Matthias couldn't sense any levity or triviality when she used it, so he had to be sure of one thing before anything else happened this evening:

‘Does this mean we’re friends now?’

Luna quickly slapped her hands over her muzzle, having realized her previous slips of the tongue, “Oh, I'm sorry, I did not mean to overstep,” she said cringing in panic, “but... but, if you wouldn't mind having one such as myself as a friend, I would very much appreciate calling you mine.”

The self-esteem is strong with this one.

Matthias could clearly tell that at some point she had been through some serious shit, if her near flawless summation of the current state of affairs inside his head was anything to go by, and though the circumstances may not have been the exact same, they were close enough to have put them on a similar wavelength. But as much as he would've liked to press her for more, she appeared desperate for his response, as if his rejection would have shattered her, so he found a clean sheet of paper, and wrote out as cleanly and clearly as possible:

‘I would love to be your friend!’

The dark alicorn read the note, then hugged it to her chest, giving an honest to god squeal of delight before leaping onto Matthias and nuzzling alongside the left side of his face, "thank you, thank you, thank you, Oh, most wonderful of nights, thank you!" she said before reeling back in embarrassment, "Oh, We're sorry! Did We hurt you?"

But Matthias wasn't having any of that. This tiny blue pony princess had been crazy enough actually reach out and be honest with him, so there was no chance in hell he was going to let her feel ashamed of being herself around him, so he walked back over to her and wrapped her in his arms, rubbing the right side his face across her cheek, although he had to crouch down a bit to get the proper angle.

And Luna melted into a puddle of giddy giggles as she resumed her previous ministrations, "Thank you, May."

Yeah, that’s going to take some getting used to, but hey, it’s better than what those damn dogs were calling me.