Don't Look Inside

by Elu

First published 3rd of May, 2017

A young man committed suicide. What drove him to such an end? What inner thoughts and memories made him end his life? Most importantly, he was somehow painfully transformed into a pony and sent to Equestria. Will he find peace or madness?

On a regular summer night, a young man decided to end his life. Bringing a gun to the lake in the middle of the forest, he sealed his fate himself. There was nothing and nobody to stop him from committing suicide, an act he carried out swiftly and without hesitation.

Did he die? On the Earth, most certainly. However, he underwent a painful transformation into a pony and was thrown into an unfamiliar, different world he couldn't have possibly known anything about.

But no matter what happens to his physical part, the inside, the mind is what matters the most. It stays with him.

Don't look there, for you might find the deepest and the darkest thoughts and memories that are better left buried.

---

The new cover art done by JamesA.
Additional tags: Drama.

All sex scenes will be marked with *** at the beginning and end, making them skippable. I'd recommend not skipping them because of their relevance to the story and feels of characters.

SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS!

This is by no means a simple story about a sad human quickly gaining love and appreciation from ponies and easily fighting his inner demons and then having a perfectly normal life. Such battles are not easily fought, and even less easily won.

The story is dark, depressing and unnerving. It is advised that if you are under the effects of depression or similar mental issue, you should visit a professional doctor and ask for help. If you don't trust them enough, go to a friend or a family member. Or even better, share you thoughts with a loved one.

And remember, your life is always in your own hands.

This is a much darker take on the human-turned-pony stories than what I've written before. Tread carefully and don't be afraid to stop reading if you're not feeling well.

On a more positive note, join the Discord to discuss the story and get to know other people who like my stories!

Support me on Patreon if you'd like!

Prologue: Arrival

Author's Notes:

Now, before we start, I must mention that this story wasn't conceived under the feelings presented in the character. Therefore, it is not pity and attention gain done by me through the use of a character. Believe it or not, only a small part of him was based on my own depressive experience, and it happened way back when I was much different than what and who I am today.

You might find this chapter to be a bit underwhelming for the description of the story. But nothing is revealed at the beginning. Struggle is a struggle because it is long and sometimes frustrating to the point when you just want to lie down and never get up.

I'm not one for boasting, but people praised me for being able to create real, living characters. And this story is certainly not about an emo teenagers who is "omg, I'm so sad, I killed myself. Oh, I'm so sad, please love me. I was bullied, my parents were bad, my gf dumped me. Oh, I'm so tragic." I hate such stories myself. It doesn't take much to write them.

I will try to do everything realistic. You don't have to trust me, of course, but I humbly ask you to give me a benefit of the doubt. I will not disappoint.

Please, forgive me for the mistakes I might've made in the chapter. English isn't my first language, and my editor is currently occupied with other stories of mine.

Also, before leaving the story with a thumb down if you find it not to your liking, please, write a comment explaining what you didn't like in it. It will help me become a better writer.

It was a regular summer night in July. The stars shone through the dark-blue sky as the pale moon brought its light upon the earth, reflecting the light of the sun. Nighttime animals roamed a certain forest away from civilization. Save for the occasional rustle of grass and leaves, everything was silent.

From some bushes, a young man emerged, completely nude, carrying but a small paper bag with something relatively heavy in it. The man didn't look well: he was slumping, bags under his eyes, his short hair unkempt and rough. His feet were sore and ached from the extensive walk through the forest without any protection from sharp pebbles or occasional twigs.

The man was of thin build, looking slightly malnourished. His white skin was rather pale, his dark-brown hair featured a couple of gray hairs, his face was unshaved, bearing a short stub. His dark-brown eyes were looking at the ground as he stumbled through another bush, pushing the branches away with his free hand. There were a few cuts on his body here and there but nothing major. Though, his body bore some scars: a recent scar, straight, widening towards the middle, was on the back of his left forearm. Another scar, this time pretty old, could be seen: a small straight one on the bridge of his nose, slightly to the left, almost coming to his left eye. There was a small scar on the outer side of his right hand: straight one, about a centimeter long, with barely noticeable jagged edges.

Soon, the young man came to a small lake. A pond, actually. He walked to it and sat on the bank, putting his tired feet into the cold water. He shivered from the sensation and allowed himself to relax, listening to the wildlife around him.

After a few minutes of sitting still and gazing at the stars through the canopy of the trees, the young man stood up. He headed towards a big rock off to the side of the lake. He climbed at it with ease and stood up. He looked at the lake. Its still surface reflected the trees and the night sky, making it seem like it was a mirror.

The human exhaled. He took an item out of the paper bag and threw the bag away. There was a gun in his hand. A simple and small revolver, a kind of gun that is very durable and hard to break.

There was one bullet loaded into the cylinder of the revolver.

The young man let out a shaky sigh as he looked at the pistol. He cocked the hammer. The cylinder rotated, the bullet disappeared from sight, aligning with the barrel of the gun.

The man pondered for some time, final thoughts going through his head, and then turned his back to the lake. He brought the gun closer to his chest and pressed the muzzle against his bare skin. The coolness of metal against it did little to calm him. Instead, his hand began to shake as a sticky sense of inevitable end gripped him tightly.

He subdued his fear. His hand shook less as he took full control of his actions. He pressed the trigger.

A loud shot sounded, quickly muffled by the trees. The wildlife ran away from the source of the sound, scared.

Young man's body fell into the water under the rock. His hand relaxed, letting go of the revolver, which quickly sunk into the depths of the lake. The body floated on the surface, slowly engulfed by the waters. The glassy, lifeless eyes of the human seemed to be fixed on the bright and full moon that reigned on that night.

His expression was calm and collected, forever etched into his face. However, his dead eyes betrayed his fear, forever still after his demise.

Soon, the waters closed above him as he sunk to the bottom of the lake, leaving a bloodstain on the surface. It disappeared in a few minutes, leaving no trace of what had happened in the usually quiet forest.

The young man saw nothing. It was complete and utter darkness. No view, no sound, no feel.

Nothing.

His mind raced. Was it the afterlife? Was it limbo?

He waited.

There was still nothing.

He began to think, but his thoughts were interrupted by sharp pain.

Pain.

He wanted to scream as he felt his whole body being broken, stretched, shattered, maimed, sawed, and then put together, molten, nailed, pressed. It hurt like his insides were filled with razor-sharp pieces of paper. Each centimeter of his skin burned like hell, thousand sharp rusty needles etched into it, stretching it, filling it with a substance he didn't know nor wanted to know the name of.

He had no mouth, and he had to scream.

The pain continued, not subsiding even a little.

His hands elongated, the first phalanxes outstretching and thickening, his nails growing in size, biting into the soft and sensitive skin underneath them.

His skull was squeezed by an unseen force, and then his nose and mouth were forcibly stretched and hammered to become more square. His eye-sockets were being stretched by invisible hooks. The earholes in his skull were being widened.

Then, his spine begun to change. It was pulled by both ends, elongating. One of the ends was melted, and then turned into a thin cone-shaped appendage.

He tried to shout, cry, yell, but couldn't. The pain was unbearable, far beyond excruciating, and yet he could do nothing.

He prayed for the end to come. And it would, in time.

But would it be final?

The man opened his eyes, inhaling sharply. The pain subsided, only dull aching remained. He coughed twice. He tried to stand up, but his lungs gave into the third, more violent cough. The man wheezed, falling back onto the bouncy surface he found himself on. He closed his eyes due to the sun shining brightly into them. He lied like that for some time, gathering strength.

He blinked. There was something between his eyes, something much bigger than his nose once was.

Another blink. The man raised his hand to touch his nose. However, he noticed that his hand became a stump. He looked at it with horror in his eyes. He rotated it to see it from different angles. Still a stump. Then, a realization came to him — it was a hoof.

He quickly raised his other hand and looked at it. A hoof. He gasped, letting out a tiny sound, almost like a muffled, forced back scream.

He breathed in and out. His pace increased, and soon he was breathing hard and heavy. His eyes darted between his two appendages. His brain registered that they were bluish in color and had fur. The hoof itself was gray with a small hint of dark-blue.

He let out a desperate cry, wishing nothing more than to wake up. Tears streamed down his face as he sobbed loudly, not believing what was happening to him.

Instead of death, he found himself in the body of an animal. Or so he thought at the time, at least. He suspected that it was reincarnation. Some people, especially believers in mystical forces, saw reincarnation as what would happen to humans after life. However, this young man thought it to be too unbelievable, and yet found himself in this situation.

Cautiously, he rolled onto his belly. He looked around. He was in the middle of a lake, floating on a large red leaf. The sky above him was clear and the sun shone brightly onto the still waters. Far away from his position, sandy banks could be seen.

He hyperventilated as he found it unable to control his body. He highly doubted he could swim, let alone walk or even stand. He was completely helpless.

As if on command, the leaf started moving towards the nearest bank, increasing speed with each moment. Young man's eyes darted around as he desperately tried to cling to the leaf but couldn't do it because he no longer had fingers to grip it. His eyes were wide, looking at the scenery that went past him.

The water became less and less dark, and soon the leaf was washed onto the bank. The young man sighed shakily, and then tried to stand up. Subconsciously realizing he couldn't do it using two legs, he used all his new four legs to stand. He placed them underneath himself, and then slowly lifted himself up. His legs wobbled weakly as he found little strength to hold himself using his new appendages. Not to mention that he felt like he was standing on his nails, which was slightly uncomfortable for him to register. It was phantom uncomfortableness, no more than that, but it would take time for him to get used to it.

He slowly made his first step. It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. Movement was the easy part. He took another step. And another. He walked a short distance. His strength was little, his endurance was scarce, and he was sure that if he tried to do more than that he would most certainly collapse.

He returned to the lake. He went into the water. Stopping where his hooves submerged, he let the water become still and unmoving again. He looked at himself.

Like a real horse would, he had fur, mane and tail. His muzzle was long and blocky, but not as long as real horse's would be. The colors stood out from what he perceived as possible: a lighter shade of blue for the fur, dark-blue, almost black for mane and tail. His eyes were big, their color a mix of purple and blue, not standing out too much from his overall appearance.

The most prominent feature of his new body was a spiraled horn on his head. Was he a unicorn? He was pretty sure such beings existed only in fantasy. But so did the sapient horses, and he understood clearly he was one. However, it only gave way to more confusion.

He opened his mouth to look at his teeth and tongue. Unfortunately, the water was too blurry to make out the details. Instead, he moved his tongue. It seemed larger, wider than it was before, though its length remained almost unchanged. There were more teeth, especially molars, but their structure was more or less human. He used his lips to test his front teeth, and found out that the canines seemed to be slightly sharper and more pointy.

He inhaled, counted to four, exhaled. His eyes expressed sadness and tiredness. He slumped back to the bank of the lake, back to the leaf he came to this world on.

Subconsciously, he associated it with what little of himself he had left. The leaf was red, like the color of his blood. A remainder of suicide. A remainder of his last wish — to die and disappear. Of course, it didn't happen, at least not yet. But he hoped, he hoped the situation he'd found himself in would be resolved soon and he would be off to a rest he felt he deserved.

The sun began to set. The young man noticed it and realized that he needed a shelter for the night. He was pretty sure he was completely alone. He was also sure that searching for civilization might not be the best way. If humans found him... He was unsure if he wanted to know the consequences.

Instead, he decided to go away from the open space. Right where the sands ended, forest began. It consisted of pines, spruce, birch, and some other trees. It was thick enough to cover him.

He decided to take the leaf with him. Having no fingers, he decided to grab it with his maw. He succeeded, and then placed the leaf on his back. He sighed, and then went into the forest.

***

He had spent about half an hour before he found a more or less comfortable place for the night. It wasn't too far from the bank, he made sure he could reach it if needed. The place itself was under low-hanging branches of a spruce. Thick and wide, having a lot of needles, these branches were the perfect roof of his shelter. He lied the leaf on the ground, effectively making him a more or less waterproof covering to sleep on.

His stomach grumbled. The young man winced. He needed to eat.

Since he knew horses could eat grass, he decided to try it. He nibbled on some grass, tasting it. It was pretty bland to him. Still, not bad. He could perhaps fill his belly for the night.

As he ate, he noticed clouds appearing above him, accompanying by some winged figures. Birds, perhaps? He couldn't see clearly what they were. Nevertheless, he was glad he made a shelter for himself. He was pretty sure it would be raining during the night.

After some time, he headed back to his small lair. He sighed, curling up into a ball, feeling himself rather cold. He placed his head onto his hooves and allowed himself to relax. He closed his eyes.

For some time, he couldn't sleep. The forest was still alive, full of sound. His new, more sensitive ears picked those sounds and involuntarily swiveled around, trying to locate them.

But soon, the rain started, tuning down all other sounds. The rain softly fell on the ground, creating a pleasant wall of noise. The young man sighed, his ears relaxed and fell. Soon, he was asleep.

He was running. Something was behind him, something that wanted to hurt him. And he ran from it, trying to get as far away as he possibly could.

He felt like he was moving through water. His movements were slow, very slow, almost snail-like. It felt like his legs weighed a ton each, each step gluing his feet to the ground.

And then, he was caught.

***

He woke up, his heart racing and his breath heavy. He wheezed, and then coughed thrice. He blinked to clear away the blur of sleep, and then stood up.

He was slightly damp and cold. The natural roof comprised of spruce branches wasn't enough to keep the whole rain away.

He shook himself like a dog or a cat. It made some water go away, but there was still an uncomfortable amount left.

Then, his body made it clear that it wanted a relief. The young man groaned, and exited his small shelter. He went into a bush, and then thought about how to relieve himself. He decided to do it like a dog, seeing no other option.

After sating nature's call, he returned to the shelter. It was dawning, and he decided to move somewhere under the sunlight. He also grabbed the leaf, shook it to get rid of accumulated water, and then placed it on his back.

He had no idea where to go. First, he decided to walk along the bank of the lake. Maybe he would find a river, and river means that there could be a settlement near it. Depending on the size, it could be either a city, town, or village. He was hoping it was the latter. He could try to sneak in and see what he can find to eat. He wasn't exactly going for starvation or dehydration as a viable method of suicide.

He was shivering slightly from cold and dampness. He sighed shakily, and then went to the lake. He arrived there without a hitch, and then proceeded to walk along the shore, keeping the forest in his line of sight. If a threat emerged, he would be ready.

***

He underestimated the size of the lake. It was enormous! He had barely managed to cover a fifth of it by the time he became tired and out of his breath. The new body was hard for him to cope with. He often stumbled, messing up the order of his legs' movement. He found it extremely frustrating, angry frown appeared on his face. As he stumbled yet again, he kicked the sand, groaning in irritation. He never knew walking could be such an issue.

He thought that the whole world was against him, even his body couldn't do what he wanted it to do. He held back tears of anger and frustration as he walked along the bank of the lake, searching for something, anything. He found old pieces of rotten wooden planks, nothing of particular interest or danger.

Walking along the bank, he found his mind wandering, bringing dangerous, worrying thoughts. He knew he had killed himself — the bullet was meant to go right through his heart and swiftly end his life. He remembered feeling the hit before the darkness filled his vision. He was certain that whatever he was experiencing at the moment wasn't a figment of his imagination, fueled by the pre-death agony. It simply couldn't be. He felt everything, he thought clearly, there was completely no evidence supporting the hope that it was simply a hallucination.

Was he immortal, invincible? What if he could try again?

Remembering the painful process of transformation, the young man shuddered. The echoes of that pain still lingered within him. He didn't want to go through the whole process again, especially if it meant turning back into a human he once was.

Besides, he liked the surroundings, more or less. He always loved living near the nature. Hearing no usual traffic or background talk, he found the new place serene and calming, especially considering that it was technically his afterlife. The nature eased his thoughts, even if only a little. Still, it was much better than the crowded streets, and he did enjoy his solitude, much more than he could ever admit. He was left to his own thoughts: no annoying cars or pedestrians passing by, no loud advertisements sounding from the speakers, no cringe-worthy music sounding from the cheap speakers of an annoying teenager's phone or overly loud earphones, nothing but nature.

He was sure that there was no river connecting to the lake. Giving up on his attempts at finding a way to civilization, he sat down and sighed. He had spent a lot of energy walking aimlessly. The sun had risen by then, shining brightly onto the former human.

The young man stood up. He understood that it wouldn't make him any good just sitting here. He let out a drawn-out sigh, and then headed into the forest. If the lake couldn't show him the way, maybe the forest would.

Chapter 1: Encounter

Author's Notes:

A quick follow-up chapter to keep you all interested.

Now, I want to address a very important thing. Thumbs down. They give me a certain view on how my story is received, but it tells me nothing more. It would be much more useful if you provided constructive criticism before leaving the story with a thumb down.

What is it that I did wrong? Is it the whole idea, its execution, grammar, pace, character development? It would be much more beneficial for me to know what you don't like and why you don't like it. Your criticism will greatly help me improve my writing.

I know that the whole story is based on a thing not many people find fun. It's not meant to be fun, of course. It is a tale of a very troubled young man, a realistic tale as that. As much realistic as I can make it without overstepping the line into the boring part of realism.

Maybe a simple fact is in order — no one of main cast of MLP:FiM show will get magically connected to him. No "Celestia senses great disturbance in the harmony and finds the human".

However, the main character might or might not meet these ponies. Maybe he'll just hear about them, catch a glimpse at them here and there. Maybe they'll help him in some way.

But there will be no instantaneous liking or disliking without a solid reason.

With that being said, enjoy the new chapter.

The young man walked through the forest blindly, having absolutely no idea where to go. There was no pathway in sight as well. He stumbled through the bushes, climbed to get across a large fallen tree, almost fell as he hit his hoof against the exposed roots of a tree. He was dirty, had some scratches here and there, and was overall frustrated and fatigued.

He still carried the red leaf. He didn't know why, though. It wasn't a liability but it wasn't helping him either. Somehow, the leaf remained pristine, enduring his travel through the forest.

The young man saw something slightly familiar. He had seen those in the forest back home. It was a wild red raspberry patch. A small smile appeared on his face — those berries were perfectly edible and certainly much tastier than grass. He walked to the patch and nibbled on the raspberries, devouring them rather quickly. His stomach painfully grumbled, signaling him that the grass he'd previously eaten clearly wasn't enough.

Soon, the patch was picked clean. The young man let out a sigh of content as he felt hunger subsiding. Though, it would return. Until then, he should find another source of food and water.

***

He didn't know how much time had passed until he heard faint voices in the distance. He stopped and squinted his eyes, his ears aimed forward. Yes, he was right, those were voices he was hearing. From his location, he couldn't say if he understood them or not, they were simply too far away from him, hidden behind the trees.

He decided to move in and see who was in the forest. He moved as silently as he could through the foliage, the voices growing closer and closer. Soon, he came out to a small glade. Thankfully, no one noticed him as he came from behind their backs.

The young man quickly hid behind the trees, lying low to the ground. He observed the people he found, and he was very surprised.

They were horse-like, just like him, albeit the colors and sizes were different. There were total of five of them: two big figures, two smaller ones, and the smallest. The young man figured out they were a family. It looked like they were setting up a camp.

Two small tents were raised, a fireplace between them. It was burning, and one of the ponies held a long stick in his mouth. On the end of the stick, a few slices of white bread were situated, cooking in the heat that the flames were giving off.

Young man's stomach grumbled again. Even the berries weren't enough. In fact, he was getting thirsty as well.

Two big ponies were finishing with setting up the camp, making sure everything was arranged in the right order. The two other ponies were chasing each other around, cheerfully laughing.

The young man squinted his eyes harder, trying to make out who was whom.

After noticing a few very important details, he figured out that the big ponies were a stallion and a mare, two smaller ones were as well, and the smallest one was male.

The man decided to look at himself. His own important detail told him he was still pretty much male.

"Mom, may we play in the forest?" one of the smaller ponies asked the big mare. It was a language the young man didn't understand or even recognize.

"No." their mother shook her head. "You might get lost there."

"Aww, but we'll be nearby, we promise!" the daughter pouted.

"No, and that's final." the mare said, slightly stomping. "Why not you help your younger brother cook some food? Besides, we'll soon go to the forest, you will have your fun."

The young man tried his best to understand where the conversation was going but had little luck with that. From the tones of their voices, he understood that the foals were asking their mother something, and she refused.

For a moment, he thought about coming out and ask for help. He decided against it, though. He was very uncertain about how he would be perceived. He certainly didn't want to talk to strangers, especially aliens. Instead, he decided to wait for dusk and see if he could sneak in and get some food and water.

***

Fortunately, he didn't have to wait long. Almost the whole family went into the woods together, leaving the older brother to watch the flame. The young stallion grumbled something under his breath as his family disappeared in the forest.

The man knew it was time to act. Swiftly, he got around the pony and quietly sneaked to the tents, often stopping to make sure the pony didn't hear him. He tried to breathe as quietly as possible, but he was sure his beating heart could be heard across the glade. He looked under his hooves, evading any and all small twigs that could give away his position.

He stopped as he heard the pony mumbling something to himself. He sighed in relief when he understood it wasn't directed at him. He continued his way to a small picnic basket that he spotted near one tent.

He was standing right behind the pony. Fortunately, the young stallion wasn't aware of his surroundings at all, focused on his own thoughts and problems. The man used it to his advantage.

He nudged the basket open. Inside, there were various types of food: some apples, a couple of sandwiches, a bottle of water, some tissue paper, and a box of matches. He closed the lid and prepared to take the basket, but his stomach betrayed him, loudly grumbling. Pony's ears swiveled in his direction, and then the stallion turned around.

"Hey, it's our stuff!" he exclaimed angrily, standing up.

The young man would have none of it. He needed the basket to survive, at least until he found civilization to constantly feed himself. He took the basket.

"Oh no, you won't!" the stallion said, tackling the intruder, forcing him to drop the basket.

A fight ensued as the two rolled on the ground, trying to pin the other down. The young man was desperate and wouldn't go down without a fight. He used his hoof to punch the stallion in the muzzle, albeit awkwardly and not very effective, to which he retorted in kind with a powerful well-directed punch. It damaged man's nostrils, making them bleed. He groaned in pain but didn't cease fighting.

The young man knew that horses and the like should be scared pretty easily. He decided to use this knowledge to fight.

He widened his eyes, furrowed his brows, and opened his mouth, baring his omnivorous teeth. He let out a loud angry screech, trying to look as intimidating as he possibly could. The stallion he was fighting let out a tiny squeal, dropping the fight altogether, rolling away from the threat. He closed his eyes lied on his back, instinctively showing his submission and defeat.

The young man took his chance, jumped to his hooves, grabbed the basket, and sprinted away into the forest, leaving the stallion to his animalistic fear and puzzlement.

"Hey!" he recovered from his initial shock. "Come back here, you stealing cunt!"

But the man was nowhere to be seen. The stallion groaned, the pain coming to him after the adrenaline wore off. He stood up and rubbed the spots he was hit in.

"Fuck, my mom's gonna be very upset..." he mumbled.

The young man ran and ran, not looking where he was going. He was scared, his mind telling him he was being chased. He didn't stop until his body involuntarily collapsed.

He breathed heavily, his vision darkening from the intense load he had put himself through. He tried to subdue his racing heart, to no avail.

He just lied there, coming back to his senses, to his more reasonable self. He finally realized where he was.

He was still in the forest, in some unknown part of it. It didn't matter to him since he didn't know any part of the forest to begin with.

He looked around. To his right, the basket was lying, its lid closed. The young man sat, and then used his mouth to open it. The food and water was still there. His stomach grumbled at the display, and the man went deeper into the basket, using his mouth to grab the first thing it touched. It was a sandwich.

Not caring for anything in the world, he quickly devoured it, and then went for other food that was still in the basket.

He ate two apples and another sandwich before he felt the satisfaction of his belly being filled. Unfortunately, there wasn't much left: just another sandwich and an apple, not counting the bottle full of water. Tissue paper or matches weren't exactly made to eat but he decided to save them nevertheless.

He used his mouth yet again, grabbing the bottle. Then, he used his front hooves to firmly grasp it, unscrewed the lid, and then downed the bottle in one go. Instead of throwing it out, he decided to save it for later. He put it back into the basket.

He felt little regret over stealing or basically robbing the family. His own wellbeing was more important for him than that of those who could take care of themselves. He didn't have a family, at least nearby. He didn't have anyone to help him. He wasn't even sure he would survive long enough to tell the tale. Well, if he ever wished to do so in the first place.

Maybe he could've just asked. Maybe his hasty decision of stealing food was bad. He didn't care, though — what's done is done. The point of no return was long gone.

The discovery of sapient ponies made him realize he was not on the Earth anymore.

This realization terrified him and relaxed him at the same time. It meant he would no longer see those he knew. It was much more an upside, though. The downside meant that he at the moment needed to learn a new language to be able to speak with anyone. And it would be especially hard for him.

He sighed. Perhaps he could do better in that situation. Too late now.

And then, a realization struck him — he left the red leaf. The only thing he somehow wanted to remain at his side.

He frantically looked around. To his great surprise, the leaf was there with him. Was it on him the whole time? He was pretty sure he took it off before he sneaked. It should've either been gone or torn to shreds after the fight. Neither happened to it, however.

Shrugging it off, he decided to go. He took the basket in his mouth and went. He couldn't stay in one place, he needed to move, he needed to find a settlement. Maybe he could get someone to help him. Or he could just sneak in and get whatever he needed.

And then, he would... actually, he didn't know what to do next. He had no plan of action.

He stopped in his tracks. The realization hit him fully. He slumped to the ground, shock evident in his purplish eyes.

Until that moment, he had a more or less clear goal before him, be it getting education, getting work or committing suicide. They were clear goals with a set of requirements to be fulfilled. They were goals he had been striving for. But there was nothing for him at the moment. Not even the slightest hint of an idea of what to do after he gets to a settlements and finds food.

Nothing.

Chapter 2: Poison in the Body

The former human had been sitting in one place for quite some time before deciding to stand up and continue the ordeal. He collected his thoughts and made a choice.

He set a clear goal for himself — reach a settlement, ask for help and shelter, and then search for a way to permanently end his own existance. This morbid goal was still unfulfilled, he realized. And it was the only one he could strive towards. Putting the thoughts away for later, he chose to focus more on more trivial and important matters at hand. Survival, for once.

He took a random direction and set out, carrying the red leaf and the basket.

***

In a couple of hours, he stumbled upon a railroad. Thanking the lady luck, he looked at it. It has been abandoned for many years: plant life had surrounded the barely seen rails; they were deeply corroded by time, taking a brownish-red hue, and most of the wooden ties were completely rotten or moss-grown. There was also a tiny stream of water running between the rails, solidifying the feel of abandonment.

But maybe those rails led to a settlement? The young man was pretty sure that they either connected to the working railroad or reached a town or passed by a village. Chances were high that the tracks were his only way out of the forest.

Not wasting the chance, he decided to go along the railroad. It must've led somewhere, after all.

***

The young man walked and walked, the tracks seemed to have no end. To his relief, they didn't split, but it didn't help him in any way. There were some signs along the railroad, albeit they were far too rusty to be comprehensible or readable in any way. And even if they were, the man wouldn't be able to understand the writings.

Suddenly, the man came into a clearing. A big concrete warehouse-like building stood at the end of the tracks. A train was there, half of it inside the building and the other half sticking out of it. While everything was in the state of disrepair, the building was intact, even the windows were whole. It was very strange, especially considering the nature of the building. Has no animal ever wandered in? Has no sapient being ever been there? Not even some teenagers that would have smashed a window or two just for fun? Something wasn't right...

The young man didn't realize it, however. His mind was too focused on finding food, water, and shelter that he didn't think twice about going into that abandoned building.

As he walked to it, he saw a warning sign of some sort. Without the ability to understand the language, he couldn't read the sign. It was probably there to warn visitors of building's poor condition. It would be nothing too dangerous as long as you didn't purposefully start breaking walls. Made of concrete, the building could definitely hold a small pony that the young man has become.

The wooden doors at the entrance were opened. The young man sighed in relief, knowing that he wouldn't have to bother with other, more complicated and hard to get entrances.

It was pretty dark on the inside. Some moss had grown over the years, patches of dull grass were showing on the previously wooden floor, the paint was almost completely gone, lying on the ground in pieces and rolls. A typical sight one would expect to see inside an abandoned building.

The young man passed a few rooms until he saw one that was in more or less good condition. It even had a couple of wooden crates to rest on. It also wasn't overgrown with flora at all. Having a heavy wooden door, the room would be perfect for rest.

Content with what he found, the young man decided to walk around the building some more. Perhaps there were eatable berries somewhere. He could have some of them for a snack.

He exited the building and went along its walls. And here they were, big patches of raspberries. His stomach grumbled lowly, telling him that it needed much more food than it had gotten in the past few hours.

Seeing no harm in it, the young man nibbled on the berries. But as he swallowed the first one, his mouth started to burn in sharp pain.

He coughed, and then spat out whatever was left inside his mouth. But the pain didn't cease. In fact, it travelled down his throat! If only he could make himself vomit to get rid of the bad berry he's just eaten. He had no fingers to press at the base of his tongue. He quickly used his hoof to try it, but it simply wouldn't go past his teeth. Unfortunately, he cut his lips, adding to the pain.

He coughed violently, his eyes filled with tears as he tried to get the poison out of his system! Blinking a couple times, he could see that those berries weren't raspberries at all! Now, it was clear to him — it was a poisonous plant that he ate. Instead of red raspberries, he saw some sort of white berries on a thorny bush. He coughed and coughed, feeling his throat tighten, shortening his air flow, suffocating him!

He fell to the ground, dropping everything he had. The basket was already lying aside, dropped as he first started coughing.

The pain inside him grew to an unbearable level, and yet his body refused to shut down! He felt every centimeter of his insides burning, melting, vaporizing, disintegrating. He could do nothing about it as he lost control over his body.

"Here he is!" a muffled voice shouted from behind him. He didn't register the sound as he was still fighting a lost battle. "Quick, put the spell on him!"

Everything went black.

Later.

*Beep. Beep. Beep.*

The sound of a heart monitor was like thunder to young man's ears. It was like elephants stomped on his head, trying to pop it like a watermelon.

"Good, he has stabilized." a female voice said, barely audible by the former human. His vision was still black, his feelings mostly numb, and his mouth and throat cold. He couldn't even think, his body running automatically, purely on instincts. He breathed. All he could do was breathe. He was afraid that if he stopped thinking about it, it would stop as well. His heart was beating. He couldn't allow it to stop.

"I thought we'd lost him. That plant is fucking terrible..." another voice said, this time male. "It's damn time we burn that whole place to the ground!"

"Language."

"Yeah, and do I care? Fuck no! Do you know how stressful it is?!" the second voice spoke in an accusatory tone.

"Am I not on your team?" the first one replied with a hint of tiredness.

A pause ensued.

"...I'm sorry, it's just... We could've lost the colt there." the second voice sighed. "Alright... Sorry I lashed out on you."

"Don't worry, happens to the best of us." the first voice reassured him in a soft tone. "Now, let's get the doctors. We're not needed here any longer."

The two stood up and left the room. The young man tried to open his eyes. There was nothing but darkness. He inhaled sharply, coughed once. And then his breath became calm again. He couldn't move, he couldn't see. He had to depend on his hearing and sense of smell. His heart was painfully throbbing in his chest as if it was about to violently explode.

His mind was hazy, he heard what was not there, saw flashing images of various origin. And yet it all returned to darkness. The poison still held a tight grip on him, slowly torturing him with something beyond his control.

Sounds. Visions. All were illusions, masterfully crafted by the vile plant. They bore no meaning, no significance, but the pain from them was beyond excruciating.

Memories, hallucinations, sharp flashes of colors, everything was mixed together in an intangible mess inside his badly aching head. He was in the delirium. He couldn't understand anything, he felt like his brain was melting into a sizzling puddle of gray liquid.

He fought for his life. He couldn't allow himself to die, not this way. It was completely terrible. He could do nothing to ease the pain.

Finally, he lost his consciousness, drowning in the welcoming void.

***

"Report is ready, ma'am." a stallion doctor said, standing in front of chief doctor's desk.

"I'm listening." the chief doctor said, frowning slightly.

"There is no record of the colt anywhere in Equestria." the stallion said. "No documents were found. No birth certificate, no passport, nothing. There are a couple of stallions like him but they don't match finer details of his appearance.

"As far as we know, he is approximately twelve to fourteen years old. Judging by the scan, he suffers from malnutrition. His body is developing, his magic reserves filling, and he doesn't have sufficient energy to support himself. He has only eaten some snack in the duration of about three to five days. But the same scan confirms that he's run at least once, which would be almost impossible in his state.

"There are multiple scars on his body that could be seen upon closer inspection: a straight one that widens towards the middle is placed on the back of his left foreleg; a straight scar near his left eye, almost touching it; and another straight one on the right wrist, right above the hoof, approximately one centimeter in length, having somewhat jagged edges.

"I should also notice that a large portion of his tongue is missing, his vocal chords are damaged. The poison from the plant worsened the effect, causing burns on the inside of his mouth and throat. He would need months, maybe a whole year to learn how to speak again. We would also have to use powerful spells and medications to enhance regeneration and allow him go grow his tongue back."

The chief doctor winced. It sounded very painful to her.

"There was a police data file found that described the colt as having stolen a basket of food from the camping family in the same forest he was found in. Honestly speaking, I don't judge him for it." the doctor admitted. "I bet he was too hungry to think straight." the stallion finished, and then sighed. "Poor colt..."

"And what is his status as of now?" the chief doctor asked with worry in her voice.

"He is stable but in coma. The plant really messed him up on the inside... Would it be only ten or fifteen seconds later, he would have suffered irreversible damage. Good thing those good ponies put a spell that signaled them if anypony has gotten close to those forsaken berries.

"Also, a magical item was found near him — a big red leaf. Biologists have taken a look at it, and they say it's unique in nature, they've not seen anything like that before. It seems the leaf is connected to the colt — it greatly speeds up his healing process when near him, as well as ease pain and seemingly calming his inner thoughts. As soon as we placed it near him, his brain activity lowered and he visibly relaxed.

"Perhaps it should be noted that the scan has shown us that his brain has a very different structure from a normal one. Since the plant is still largely unknown, it could've caused that effect." the stallion lowered his head slightly. "In truth, he has little chance of survival..."

"Those are bad news..." the mare sighed, frown deepening. "I'm afraid we would require assistance from at least one of the princesses."

"The letter is ready to be sent, ma'am." the stallion replied. "It has already been prepared in case we need it."

"...Send it." the chief doctor said after some hesitation. "Any of them has a better luck of healing that poor colt than us."

Chapter 3: Name

Fifteen minutes after the letter had been sent, one of Equestrian princesses arrived in a hurry.

"How is he?" Luna worriedly asked as a doctor led her to the room where the unconscious young man was situated.

"He is stable. His condition doesn't worsen." the doctor replied. "His healing process is slow but steady. If everything goes well, he will wake up in a week at most. For now, we can only hope that he endures it."

"Perhaps there is something I can do." the lunar alicorn said. "I cannot stand seeing such a young colt suffering."

"There is something you can do indeed, your majesty." the doctor nodded. "Let's talk about it once we're there."

In a few minutes, the two reached the room. There, the young man was lying on the hospital bed unconscious, covered by the red leaf. Luna closely inspected the colt. The scars described in the letter were there, and they sent shivers down her spine. What happened to that colt? What did he have to endure to get them? It was a mystery to the alicorn, one she felt she needed to solve in order to help the colt.

She gently opened his mouth. To her great terror, a part of his tongue was indeed missing, only an ugly and short stump was left, barely visible in the back of his mouth. She quickly closed his mouth. She has witnessed many a thing during her immortal life, but such damage on a such a young colt — she's never seen anything like this before.

Then, her eyes returned to the big leaf.

"Is it that red leaf mentioned in the letter?" Luna asked, gesturing at it.

"Yes, it is." the doctor nodded. "It boosts his recovery speed and... does something else. We don't know yet, I'm afraid."

"So, what is it that I can do?" Luna asked, shifting her attention to a more important matter. The leaf could wait.

"Well, you may begin with putting a powerful healing spell. As far as I'm aware, there are a couple of high-grade spells we can use to help this poor colt."

Luna didn't need to be told twice. Her horn started glowed intensively, and a soft blue glow wrapped around the former human. In a few moments, it disappeared, leaving a faint ozone scent in the air. The young man visibly relaxed as if all the pain was momentarily gone.

"This spell will speed up his healing even more." Luna commented. "If nothing bad happens to him during the healing process, he will be fine in a few days at most. Is there anything else I can do?"

The doctor hesitated for a moment before speaking.

"There is... something." the doctor admitted. "Though, it is ethically questionable, your majesty."

"No ethics matter when a life is at hoof." Luna stated firmly. "Tell me now."

"We've found out that this particular colt has a very different brain structure. Perhaps you could try to see what is inside him. He... he is in a condition that we've not seen before. He has endured something... something truly horrifying, something beyond eating a poisonous plant.

"We had our suspicions when we saw his scars. At first, we thought they were merely accidental, as they happen with colts quite often. But then, we saw the tongue..." the doctor sighed, shuddering. "It couldn't be an accident. He must've endured something we can't imagine. Not to mention that we've not found anything about him on the records. It is very alarming, to say the least."

"We must try to see what's inside his mind, then." Luna nodded, and then her horn started glowing. She closed her eyes.

For some time, there was nothing. Her horn continued to glow, her eyes stayed closed. Then, she frowned. In a few seconds, her frown deepened. Suddenly, she gasped and opened her eyes, the glow on her horn fading. Young man's eyes were wide open and unmoving, staring into hers. Luna stared at them and saw fear and uncertainty. She felt cold.

"Your majesty, do you require help?" the doctor worriedly asked, stepping closer to her.

"No... No, I'm fine." Luna said, her breath returning to her. The doctor could see that she was lying but didn't dare to point it out. The princess blinked, and then the eyes of the young man were closed again. She cleared her throat. "The colt... He has a strong mental block. I can't remove it without damaging his mind beyond repair." she took a deep breath. "This colt is much more than he seems, doctor." she stood up from a sitting position she didn't know she'd taken. "I want you to be extra careful with him. As soon as he wakes up, send for me." she turned to exit the room. "Keep your eyes on him. When he wakes up... he might be violent. Not necessarily, of course, but you better be prepared if things go south. Under no circumstances do you restrain him unless he explicitly shows his violent intentions. Understood?"

"Y-yes, your majesty." the doctor nodded, gulping. Luna's words were bone-chilling. "We'll do whatever it takes!"

"Very well. Goodbye, then." Luna said and left.

***

Nothing.

Nothing was all the young man could see. Infinite black void — completely silent, completely lifeless. But still warm... and welcoming. It was like the softest blanket made of silk, encompassing him completely, hugging him with love and warmth.

Did he die? He was unsure. It felt like so. It was the way he imagined death. No afterlife, no rebirth. Just nothing. Complete and utter darkness devoid of anything, living or not.

It didn't scare him, though. He welcomed the sensation of nothing. He didn't need to breathe, drink or eat. He didn't need to do anything at all. He was just there. He existed, and at the same time he did not. It was a strange state of mind.

For a fraction of a second, he saw a face. It had equine features, much like his new body did. The face tried to look inside him, inside his mind. He felt it gently prodding at his inner doors, trying to find a way to open them. At first, he tried to push it away. But it persisted, trying its best to access his mind.

He panicked, forcibly shutting down the connection, cutting off the prodding tendrils. He would never let anyone inside his mind. It was his place alone. It was where he will tolerate no intruders ever. It was the only place where he felt safe. It was his sanctuary.

As soon as the face disappeared, he felt anxiousness and fear. What did it want from him? What would it do if he allowed it to enter? More important, what would it find inside him?

All his secrets, desires, fears, dreams... All of them he held close. All of them he wouldn't allow to be shown. Ever.

He was on his guard. What if anyone else tried to invade his mind? He must protect it from intruders. If only he was awake... There, he would be able to find a way to protect himself, at least physically. At the moment, he was defenseless.

It became his new goal. If he woke up, he would try to find something to protect himself with. And he already had a good choice of it. He just needed to get one of them, and no one would ever get to him. At least alive.

He would not hesitate to kill in defense. Maybe even in offense. But he wished he never had to do it.

***

It was unknown to the young man how much time passed since the face had attacked him. He couldn't perceive time well in the void he found himself in.

Though, he felt better. Much better. He would wake up soon. Embrace the world again.

He didn't look forward to it. He would be fine if he stayed in the void. He didn't want to communicate in any way with anyone. He didn't want his peaceful slumber to end. It brought him peace and security, two feelings he didn't want to let go. He would do anything to preserve them, no matter the cost.

Then, he felt the pull. He saw a white dot of light in his immense void of darkness. He tried to resist, but the dot grew larger and larger, soon engulfing his vision. Sounds began to fill in, scents arrived, and light shone in his eyes. He closed them, but the light was still there. It warmed his skin, gave him comfort. And he rejected it. He didn't want it.

He woke up.

His eyes were staring at a white ceiling. Right above him, there was a small square of light, shining down upon him. It was dim and didn't hurt his eyes as much as he expected.

The next thing he noticed was the red leaf. It covered him up to his neck, giving off a sense of security. He still didn't know why the leaf was there or why he wanted it to remain that way. It felt... natural. Good. It felt as if it was supposed to be like this.

The young man felt something strange in his mouth. Barely familiar weight and sense of... fullness.

He realized it was his tongue. His eyes widened. He opened his mouth and moved his tongue around. It was there, it was full, it was alive. It has regrown!

He found joy in it. He could eat better! He could speak again!

As he closed his mouth, he accidentally bit his own tongue. He groaned in pain, and then carefully retracted it back inside his mouth. He wouldn't lose it this time.

Then, to his great surprise, he didn't feel or find any tubes attached to his body. He had figured out he was in the hospital by then. Scents of medicine was in the air, he could smell it.

He removed the leaf from his body as gently as he could. Then, he rolled from the hospital bed and stood up. His energy returned and he felt himself much better. No constant hunger or thirst, no fatigue. He was... fine.

He looked around. The room was rather plain, having only a chair for visitors and a chest of drawers near the hospital bed to fill in the space. There was also a heart monitor, turned off at the moment. Behind the bed, a window was situated. It was slightly opened, letting fresh air in. In front of the bed, a door with a small window was placed.

On the drawers, the former human noticed a plate of food. It contained a sandwich and a muffin. Next to the plate, a glass of water was standing.

He didn't feel like eating but decided to fill his stomach nevertheless. He climbed back onto his bed and used his front hooves to grab a sandwich, then brought it to his mouth, and started eating.

It was pretty difficult for him to chew with his tongue regrown. It got in the way of the food, and he accidentally bit it a few times. Only slightly, but the sensation was still uncomfortable.

About a minute later, he finished with the sandwich and moved to the muffin. It was pretty simple, having only raisins inside and a sugary frosting on top of it. It was rather sweet, though, much to his liking. He hadn't eaten anything sweet in a while.

Downing a glass of water, the young man allowed himself to relax and think. What was he going to do next? In a way, he completed one of his goals — he reached a town or city (he was unsure if it was the former or the latter) and got help and shelter. While there were less painful ways of achieving this goal, he was content with the outcome.

He was pretty sure that there was no way he could return to the Earth. And even if it was, he would stay away from it as far as he possibly could. He didn't look forward to either the return or another painful transformation.

He got up from the bed. He couldn't lie, he needed to move. He trotted to the window and looked outside.

If he ever wanted to run away from the room, he would have very little luck — he was on the third floor. If he managed to get down without breaking or otherwise hurting his legs, he would then need to get over a high fence. No such luck with hooves.

Suddenly, he heard the door being opened. He quickly turned around to face it.

No other than princess Luna herself entered the room, and froze in place. She was slightly surprised to see the young man standing already.

As for him, he stared at her with unblinking gaze. He remembered her face. It was the one he saw while he was uncoscious. She tried to get inside his mind. Without a doubt, she would try it again.

The young man's ears folded, he lowered his head, bent his knees slightly, pointed his horn at the princess, and bared his teeth. He would fight if he needed to. He would not let her get inside and see what he stored deep within himself.

He carefully and warily took in her features. She was a pony, and yet much taller than him. She had a pair of wings and a horn, a feature he noted as very important. Next was her flowing mane. While it confused him slightly, he didn't give it too much attention or thought. What was important was her royal regalia. The former human quickly realized she was a part of royalty.

Princess Luna was taken aback by the turn of events. She clearly saw that the colt was hostile towards her.

"I'm not your enemy." she said softly. "Please, relax. I am not going to harm you. I want to help you."

Having long lost the ability to speak and having no knowledge of her language, the young man didn't reply, only glaring at Luna coldly. He was sure she tried to assure him she wasn't going to hurt him. He knew better than to trust her.

He growled slightly. Horse-like creatures should be very sensitive to the show of power and aggression, he thought.

But Luna was strong. She didn't back down.

"Can you understand me?" she asked. She saw no visible response that would signify a yes. She didn't hear a voiced reply either. Then, she remembered that he possibly couldn't speak at all.

She sat down. It was the less alarming pose. She slowly gestured at herself, avoiding doing anything too quickly. The colt stared into her eyes. To her, his gaze was cold. A part of it was fear, another was anger. But the bigger was still fear.

"Luna." she said. Then, she slowly gestured at the young man. She raised a brow, expecting him to understand the gesture and the body language.

He did. But he still refused to break eye contact with her, his pose didn't change.

From Luna's perspective, he looked like a cornered wolf. His stance, his look, they told her he was not prey but a hunter. She also has just noticed his more dangerous features — his sharp canines. He was definitely not fully a pony.

Then, a realization struck her. What if the colt remembered her face? She did try to invade his mind, and his eyes opened during it. She sighed, coming to a late conclusion that she shouldn't have done it. It ruined her chances at gaining the trust of the colt.

Meanwhile, the former human didn't know what to do. Should he attack? His adversary was bigger and certainly more powerful than him. While her slim figure told him she was probably weaker than him, he decided against attacking her.

However, he couldn't keep her there forever. Eventually, something had to happen. To him, she didn't seem like someone who would retreat easily. He also could read a look of regret on her face. Thankfully, he could still understand body language, at least to some extent. Her slightly human-like features greatly helped him. Was her invasion an accident she wished to apologize for? He was almost completely sure it was.

He relaxed. He sat down on his haunches, but still kept his eyes on Luna. The princess looked at him neutrally with a hint of anticipation.

He raised his hoof and gestured at her. His long-inactive vocal chords began to form a word. With the assistance of his tongue, he managed to find the correct syllables.

"Lu-na" he spoke her name. Then, he gestured at himself.

In truth, he didn't like his name. At all. It almost seemed stupid to him. From time to time, he would be called different, nasty names because of how his parents named him. While it didn't bother him all that much, he would still prefer a better name.

He thought about the new name. He glanced at Luna's mane. It swirled etherealy, creating star patterns, one he hasn't seen before. Her mane showed the night sky, full of constellations, nebulas, and stars.

Stars.

At first, he muttered something incomprehensible. He cleared his throat.

"S... Si-ri-us." he said. Then, he stated much more firmly, without stuttering, "Sirius."

Author's Notes:

I hope this chapter doesn't feel rushed. In truth, several days have passed since Sirius consumed the poison.

And no, his surname isn't Black.

Also, I was thinking about giving this story a cover art but I couldn't come up with anything. Instead, I decided to see what I can do in Photoshop.

Here is Sirius, drawn by me on my first attempt at using photoshop in many years. Shouldn't be that bad.

Chapter 4: Thoughts

Neither of two ponies knew what to do. After the awkward introduction, they sat still, looking at each-other.

Luna did have a plan, but it went out of her head the moment she saw Sirius. She desperately tried to recall it as moments passed in silence. She didn't want to know what would happen if the colt did anything before she remembered what she was supposed to do.

The young man was confused and puzzled. Why would royalty visit him? He didn't see himself as important, he never has. Why the sudden change?

"Sirius." Luna nodded, acknowledging former human's name. She remembered the course of action she planned to take. Then, she stood up. She turned around, and then turned her head back to the confused colt. "Sirius?"

The young man understood the meaning behind her tone and body language. She wanted him to follow her. Why? Where?

He contemplated the decision. Should he go? He didn't have much choice but he still wanted to weigh out all available options. If he didn't go, he might find himself in a much worse situation. Perhaps she could force him to comply.

If he went with her, he might benefit from it. So far, he was treated with hospitality and kindness. The ponies healed him and gave him shelter, and so far nothing was demanded in return. Perhaps he could trust them, if only a little. He has learned to not put much trust in anyone. A little bit of it wouldn't hurt, he thought.

He complied. Nodding, he went along with the princess. He noticed her letting out a silent sigh of relief. He understood clearly that this situation was as stressful for her as it was for him.

It told him Luna didn't know anything about him but wasn't hostile either.

She led him through the halls of the hospital. Sirius saw different ponies around the building. Most of them had horns, some of them didn't, and a couple of those who didn't had wings instead.

Unicorns, just ponies, and pegasi. He figured out that those were the races of ponies, albeit he didn't know how were hornless and wingless ponies called. Since the color greatly varies while the shape of body and head remained mostly the same, Sirius assumed ponies didn't divide themselves into races by looks alone. It was certain wings provided them flight and horns had a function as well.

He also noticed how ponies bowed to Luna. She replied to them in a couple of words he didn't understand, but the bowing stopped. He took note of a little fact — the alicorn muttered something to herself, something only he was able to pick up because of how close he was.

He was always good at hearing. It helped him greatly in dangerous situations, and at the moment, with bigger and more mobile ears, he was able to hear even more. His ears swiveled around, picking up conversations and small sounds: clop of hooves against the floor, coughing, distant beeping, and some other background noise.

Soon, he and Luna came to the stairs. They led downwards to the second and first floors. And they were the most problematic for the former human. He didn't know how to descend. Sure, it was rather simple to do as a human, but as a pony? Fours legs would be much more troublesome in that situation surely.

Watching how Luna used the stairs, how her legs worked in conjunction with each-other, how her muscles shifted under her skin, Sirius figured out he could just replicate her movements. Slowly but steadily, he began do descend, not tripping over even once.

Luna looked back at him and took notice of his problems. She waited for him to catch up with her, and then resumed her way to the first floor.

It took them a bit longer than Luna expected, but they eventually arrived. The two walked to the reception.

"I am taking this colt with me." Luna said to the receptionist. "I'm afraid that personal treatment is in order. Not to mention that he requires education, and seeing how there is nopony to claim him, I suppose it won't be a problem if I take him under my wing?"

"As you wish, your majesty." the mare at the reception nodded. "If you believe it is right for him, we won't oppose. Besides, we all know you're good with foals. However, you need to fill in some papers first." she reached under the table and a few moments later emerged, holding a pen and a piece of paper in her maw. She laid it on the table and said, "Here."

Meanwhile, Sirius observed with curiosity. He took note of how hornless ponies managed to grab things. He had done it himself a couple of times by that moment, and it seemed such a way of manipulating objects was common.

Suddenly for him, Luna's horn started glowing, and the same glow wrapped around the pen. Sirius stared wide-eyed at the display, startled and not entirely believing his own eyes. Luna was using the pen without holding it physically! How was it possible? He didn't know.

However, he did figure out it was telekinesis. He remembered he had a horn, too — would he be able to do it as well? He sure hoped so. Without his hands, he felt clumsy and disabled. He didn't like that feeling at all. Until just a few minutes before, he was sure he wouldn't even ever be able to speak again. If he regained voice, he could also find something to replace his hands. Besides, he would without a doubt need something to use in trivial and not so trivial matters.

After Luna had done everything with the papers, she headed towards the exit, looking back to see if Sirius followed her. It was apparent for him that she was taking him away to somewhere else than the hospital. He didn't know, but he was sure it wouldn't be bad for him if he continued to follow her. He figured it would be much worse if he tried to run away. Before he did anything, he would definitely need to educate himself on a couple of subjects, most importantly — communication and language. Without the ability to understand and be understood, Sirius could just go back to the forest and never come out of it. That way, such a skill wouldn't be needed. On the other side, he would die pretty quickly because he knew little about survival in wilderness. No, he needed to learn how to talk and perceive words, sentences and texts in order to get what he wanted.

If Luna wanted to help him, and so far he didn't doubt her intentions, he would greatly benefit from her. She was royalty, and it meant she certainly had a lot of things he might need. To get them, he should behave good in front of her, but not overstep — he wasn't about to spill everything about himself just to make her pity him. Instead, he would at least try to make her think that he was but a colt with... amnesia. Something like this should work just fine. At least he thought so.

Sirius followed Luna out of the hospital. Once outside, he looked around. The city was unlike any he has ever seen: it was not gray as many cities he had visited before, it was majestic, lively, colorful, and yet not blindingly so. Ponies accompanied the scenery well, being just as colorful if not more. Even the sky above the city seemed to be full of life and energy.

He stood there, thunderstruck. He was shocked by what he was seeing, not even noticing a couple of calls from his escort.

"Sirius?" Luna called him again, much louder. She refrained from touching him, fearing he would react negatively.

Sirius shook his head, exiting the shock state he found himself in. He nodded, and then followed Luna to a chariot that was standing nearby, guarded by a couple of armored pegasi stallions. He glanced at them but didn't show any apparent interest. He wasn't too surprised by the choice of transportation either. He did take notice of the absence of cars. It was obvious to him that technology wasn't as much developed as it was back on the Earth.

As he entered the chariot, he began to think about this new world. It seemed alright to him. He wouldn't admit it at the time, but he was attracted to it, drawn to it. Though, he was still uncertain about how his life would go from there. Would it be better? Only the time could tell.

However, dark thoughts plagued his mind, overshadowing positive notes. He already felt out of place. He didn't belong to this colorful world. Depression resurfaced within him as the chariot drove towards a large castle.

Sirius still didn't want to live. He hadn't seen what could possibly make him change his decision yet. But he was fairly certain only another burst of pain waited for him on the other end. Before the incident that brought him into the new world, he thought of death as a relief. He thought it would be final. He was proven wrong, and he started fearing death. Would it always be a painful rebirth? Would he have to carry on with his old mind? Truly, it wasn't the fullest rebirth he might've wished for. His consciousness didn't die to be created anew. He was still himself. Pony, human or any other kind of sapient being he would be, his mind would always stay the same. Or maybe it would change. He wasn't about to try it, though.

Would he be better off without his memories, instead having new, untouched, fresh mind? Perhaps. He couldn't have known for sure.

Sirius looked out the window as the chariot drove through the streets of the city. They were full of different ponies, who walked or chatted with each-other. It was peaceful. It was also clean. No single piece of rubbish lied on the ground, everything was in the trash bins, and if anyone dropped their rubbish — they picked it up and threw into the nearby bin. There were no smokers around as well. No air pollution, no annoying sounds, and no neon lights of street advertisements.

This city was uncomfortable for the former human. He was too used to the dirt of the streets and the indifference that humans showed in their day-to-day life. In this pony city, however, everyone seemed to be much more talkative and, dare he think, happy and nice. It was too different for him to accept from the first glance.

Sirius sighed, slumping into the seat. He decided to stop looking outside, instead focusing his gaze on the floor of the chariot. He closed himself, going deep inside him mind to think. Luna was sitting by his side and noticed his somewhat sour and sad mood. She didn't know what caused it but still wanted to help him in any way she could. It was obvious to her that something wasn't right with the colt. There was a sense of morbid mystery around him. She wanted to see what it was but at the same time feared the discovery. It could end very badly for her or the colt or even both of them.

Luna was very worried about his inner state, too. She could feel some of it, she could see how cautious and wary Sirius was around her even after she tried to gain at least a bit of his trust. Unlike any other foals, he lacked energy or even emotion. He was justing sitting there, his stare unfocused, his face devoid of any readable emotion.

She had seen many colts in her life: sad, angry, happy, joyful, but never in her life has she seen such a colt as him. He suppressed his expressions, hiding them behind a tall and sturdy, almost unbreakable wall. The only thing that betrayed him was his eyes.

In rare times she looked into them, or at least when Sirius allowed her to, those eyes were filled to the brim with loss and depression. Loss of what? Maybe whom? She didn't know. Or maybe it was something else entirely? She could only guess

It greatly worried her, and she was the one who has witnessed many a nightmare foals sometimes experienced. Those nightmares drove them into sadness or anger, but never into the state such as Sirius'. Just who was he? Where did he come from? What was done to him to make him like that?

She had yet to find the answers.

Chapter 5: Castle

He was running, running for his life. Something was chasing him, and he needed to run. He ran and ran. If he stops — he dies. He mustn't be reached. And so he ran.

He could hear heavy breathing behind him. His pursuer will surely catch him. It was only a matter of time.

***

Sirius jolted awake. His heart was beating, his breathing labored and shaking. In front of him, he saw Luna's worried face. Quickly, he moved away from her. He was startled by her. Also, he still didn't trust her. She was too close for comfort as well. The alicorn sighed, not attempting to move closer. It would only worsen the situation.

Sirius peeked outside. He has fallen asleep for no more than five minutes, and the chariot was arriving at the big castle.

The nightmare he witnessed began to fade as his mind fully focused on reality. Still alive, still a pony unicorn. Nothing has significantly changed since he opened his eyes last.

Soon, the chariot stopped. Luna and Sirius disembarked and headed inside the castle. From the outside, it looked gigantic and complicated.

Sirius has never been inside a castle before. He's seen a couple of old ruins though, but they weren't even close in comparison to what stood before him. The majestic palace captured his eyes as he looked around.

Unlike the ruins and other castles he's seen on pictures, this palace was gorgeous and colorful. The towers were topped with a coned roof that was painted like a spiral of purple and gold, the walls were snow-white, and the big windows let a lot of light inside the castle.

Once within the palace, Sirius stopped. The decor of the hall he appeared in stunned him. It was even more ornamented than the outside, and windows were not as simple as one might think they would — they were stained glass masterpieces, works of art, all depicting various important events that happened in the near and far past.

Luna patiently waited for him to come out of his trance. However, she was distracted by the sudden appearance of her sister, Celestia. The solar alicorn glanced at the stallion and went straight to Luna.

"So, is he this colt described in the letter?" she asked in a low tone, making sure Sirius doesn't divert his attention from the decorations.

"Yes, he is." Luna nodded, speaking just as quietly, holding Sirius at the edge of her vision. "All words have been confirmed, as I told you earlier. Though, there is something... mysterious about him." she tapped her chin a couple of times. "It's true he's never been recorded anywhere... But it's not the most important part." she frowned. "When I first met him, he was hostile towards me. At least to a certain degree. He... well, he was very cautious, not taking his eyes off of me until very recently. But he's intelligent, very much so.

"I discovered that he doesn't know the Commonlang at all. However, the language he does understand is tone of voice and body language. I managed to find out his name — Sirius."

"A strange name for a colt." Celestia commented.

"Indeed." her sister nodded. "After we "acquainted", so to speak, he calmed down significantly, his initial hostility gone. He was still cautious, though. However, I managed to talk him into following me. So far, he didn't object." her frown deepened. "Do you remember what I told you about his mind?"

"Yes, I do. And it greatly worries me..." the solar alicorn replied.

"I managed to see through his eyes. Not fully... he is good at hiding. He certainly had years of experience." Luna sighed sadly. "This... this is unlike anything I've ever seen before. There are many negative emotions inside him, bottled up. I couldn't see deeper to find out what exactly he felt. Besides, I won't try to enter his mind again. After that little incident on the first day, he remembered me all the way up to our first true meeting. And it is clear he wants no one inside his mind."

She stopped for a couple of moments. She glanced at Sirius — he was too busy with looking at the stained glass art.

"Something terrible has happened to him." Luna continued. "I noticed how unfamiliar everything was to him. Even magic, a thing he should have already known. I don't know what happened to him, but it was certainly painful for him. Not only physically but mentally as well."

She paused again. She swallowed a large lump in her throat.

"I hope I can help him... I can't stand aside while such a young colt suffers." she said. "But... I have no idea where to start. He seems to be so different from any other foal I've treated. Their problems pale in comparison to what he has buried in the depths of his mind." she let out a long, drawn-out sigh. "I'm not sure I am enough to help him."

"Sister, you've helped many foals defeat their fears. You surely can find a way to Sirius as well." Celestia assured her younger sister. "Have patience. For now, let him rest. Give him a room of his own, let him be alone for a while. And then, you may start by teaching him Commonlang. It will certainly help you two connect, and he might open to you someday if you gently nudge him in the right direction."

"Thanks for the advice, Tia." Luna smiled.

"It's what sisters do." Celestia smiled in return. "Now, show Sirius his new room."

Luna nodded, and then went straight to the wandering colt. Attracted by the clop of hooves against the polished marble floor, his ears turned towards the alicorn, and his body soon followed. He just realized that he wandered off. Though, he saw no issue with that.

"Sirius?" Luna said, and then started to walk away. The former human understood her perfectly, following her immediately.

Celestia watched the two as they went to the guest wing of the castle, a smile on her lips.

***

Sirius was surprised to see such a large and spacious room given to him. It was far better than what he previously had, too. He did understand that Luna wanted to do something with him, probably to play a mother-son game of sorts. He didn't know what and even if she found out anything about him while he was unconscious. He hoped she didn't.

Left alone, he finally felt just how tired and fatigued he was, both physically and mentally. While it didn't seem much, the trip from the hospital to the castle took the majority of his strength, leaving only some for him to function. After the treatment at the hospital, he was still weak. The poisonous plant had taken a lot of strength from him.

He looked around. The room was rather large, divided into two sections. The closest one to the exit door was the personal office, having a small library, a table, a chair, some quills, inkwells, and papers on the table, and a couple of minor things he didn't bother to note.

The second section was hidden behind a door. He nudged it open with his muzzle and walked inside. It was a bedroom with a big bed suitable for a couple, a chest of drawers by its side with a lamp on top of it, a window that showed the scenery of the city, and a wardrobe in the corner of the room.

Another door was placed behind the bed to the right. In his curiosity, Sirius opened it, revealing a small bathroom.

Feeling the need to relieve himself as well as to bathe, he decided to use it.

Dealing with his natural needs was pretty simple, albeit some tricks had to be used to not get dirty. After getting the deeds done, he stepped into the rather large bathtub that took the majority of the room.

He looked at the tiled wall, and saw a lone knob. He stood on his hind legs and grasped the knob with his front hooves, and then gently turned it to the right. Since the right side of the knob was painted red, he was sure it would be warm. At first, the water was rather uncomfortable, but he managed to adjust it right in the end.

He hadn't showered in days, he almost forgot how good it felt. As the water ran down his body, he shivered. Legs gave out under him, and he allowed himself to fall. He was way weaker than he initially thought.

He closed his eyes and let the water to soak into his fur, running in small streams across his equine body. He didn't want it to stop.

***

Some time had passed before Sirius stood up, deciding that too much of a good thing would be bad for him. He turned off the shower and walked out of the bathtub. Immediately, he felt hot air blowing from all directions, disorienting him as his eyes closed instinctually.

Panicking, he started to run, only to hit a corner of the sink with his head, puncturing the bridge of his muzzle, right where one of his old scars was.

He cried in pain, slipped and fell to the floor, painfully hitting one of his forelegs in the process.

He lied there, whimpering, a thin stream of blood running out of the corner of his left eye, mixing with tears of pain. He couldn't move, he didn't want to. He felt so weak, stupid, and defenseless. Scared by wind and hurting himself in the process.

Deeply inhaling a couple of times, he finally stood up. He looked at the sink — it was slightly cracked in the corner. He was glad it was the sink that gave in and not his poor head.

Above the sink, a mirror hung, unnoticed by Sirius before. Carefully propping himself with the sink, he rose and looked at himself.

This time, the mirror image was much more clearer than when he looked at himself at the lake. His facial scar wouldn't be visible without close inspection only if there wasn't blood running from it. Sirius hissed, and then turned on the water in the sink, and washed his face, making sure no blood remained.

Fine with the result, he decided to return to the bedroom. He didn't want any other accidents to happen.

Sniffing, still feeling pain, he stumbled to the bed. Without much thought, he climbed onto it and relaxed. Feeling the silky-soft sheets again his fur and skin, he sunk into the bed, sighing in relief. The pain subsided.

He didn't want to stay awake anymore. He has already experienced too much for a single day. Soon, he drifted off to sleep.

Author's Notes:

Dear readers, I would like to hear your opinions about how the story goes so far. What do you like about it? What do you dislike? What do you find confusing? What predictions do you have?

I'm open for anything, be it positive or negative. Though, I'd love to hear constructive criticism instead of saying "nah, it's just bad". I want this story to be good, and I need to hear what you have to say about it.

Chapter 6: Learning

Sirius woke up with a startled scream. Another night, another nightmare. They have become much more frequent than before.

He sighed shakily, trying to calm himself. He was sweating hard, his eyes were darting around the darkened room, looking out for possible danger. There was none.

Reality came back to him. Sighing again, he rolled off from the bed. He stood up and headed to the bathroom, feeling nature's call. He was limping slightly, the injure from earlier manifesting itself.

As he entered, the lights turned on automatically. They were comfortably dim, allowing himself to keep his eyes open because it wasn't painful in the slightest.

After he relieved himself, he looked at his mirror image. His mane was in an absolute mess, his eyes were bloodshot, and the area around his old facial scar was slightly red, dried blood visible on it. Splashing his face with water, he cleaned his face. Glancing at his mane, he decided to cut it as soon as possible. A buzzcut should be just right.

He returned to the bedroom and walked to the window. Clumsily, he opened it, letting some fresh air in. He deeply inhaled the nice night air.

He hated dreaming. Not only was it a waste of time, it also brought unpleasant nightmares upon him, one he couldn't control. He also couldn't wake up until everything was in motion. It scared and irritated him. Awake, he could at least control himself. In those dreams, everything was in a fog, completely unseen and uncontrollable. He moved very slowly, he couldn't even breathe properly in those dreams.

Sirius closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against the glass of the window. The tip of his horn pressed as well, making him shiver in unexpected pleasure. He looked up and saw the upper part of his horn. He wanted to experience that pleasure again as it helped him relax and overall just feel better.

He pressed against the window harder. The coolness of the surface elicited a small moan of pleasure from the former human as he stimulated his horn.

Then, he separated from the glass and returned to his bed. He flopped onto it and closed his eyes, preparing to return to sleep. He hoped it would be peaceful this time.

***

At least half an hour had passed in silence as he squirmed and rolled in bed, unable to get a comfortable position. He simply couldn't sleep.

He began to think about what had happened to him up to that point of time. He couldn't force his thoughts to be silent and let him rest.

Ever since his failed suicide attempt, everything was going even further downhill. Not only he found himself in great pain due to accidentally eating a mortally poisonous plant, he had to follow Luna, the ruler of an alien race he'd never known existed. He didn't trust her. He wanted to believe she wanted just to help him, but he found himself doubting it. He was nothing, a nobody. How did he catch her attention? It seemed impossible to him. Surely she wouldn't be interested in a simple colt. He certainly couldn't remember human rulers caring about the commoners as much. Why would that princess be any different?

Why did she take him and give him shelter? What is so important about him? Why does she seem to care so much about him? It was all nonsense. She simply couldn't be doing it out of kindness... could she?

A shiver ran through his body, going from the end of the hooves up to the point of the horn. He felt his heart sink. It was a sign of his depression showing. He tried his best to stop thinking about it. But still, thoughts invaded his mind. What was the meaning behind his rebirth? What purpose does his new life serve?

Another shiver went through his body. If only he could remain asleep forever and never bother about anything ever again. He would stop caring, stop feeling. What could be nicer than that?

But in the end, it was his choice to follow Luna. Sirius had multiple chances to attempt escape but he never did. Maybe he sought protection? He would deny that, of course.

He turned his head to the right and saw the red leaf. He jumped to his hooves and almost tripped over. He didn't bring it with him.

Warily, he approached it. He touched it. It didn't react.

What was the deal with this leaf? Sirius was puzzled and confused. Maybe he should do something to it? He didn't know. He wasn't sure he even wanted to know. As long as it wasn't dangerous, he will tolerate it near himself.

His stomach grumbled suddenly. He needed to get some food.

Sirius walked to the exit door and creaked it open. Looking outside the room, he saw a dimly-lit hall. A pair of guards were patrolling it. Unfortunately, Sirius' stomach decided that it was the perfect time for it to grumble and loud. The guards glanced his way, and he quickly disappeared inside the room. He wasn't sure if he was allowed to walk the castle at night. He wasn't sure if he could exit his room at all.

He returned to the bed and sat on it. He didn't have anything to do to distract him from hunger. The only thing he could do was waiting for the morning to come. He would be fed, right? At least he hoped so.

So, was he a prisoner or a guest? He hasn't seen anyone trying to restrain him yet. His room is too nice for it to be a prison cell. And if he was imprisoned, why? As far as he knew, he couldn't have broken any reasonable law. Then, he reminded himself of many laughable and plain illogical laws applied in his own country. Of course he had to break one of those. And he remembered that the consequences of breaking said laws were always way too high for the crime.

He didn't know what would happen next, in all honesty. He had shelter, safety, perhaps food and water. He needed to think about a goal. He knows he needs to learn the language, but what next?

He remembered. He still needed to find a way to end his life. Painlessly and permanently. He sighed, knowing it is the only direction he can walk, the only thing he can do.

Unexpectedly, the door to his room opened, and Luna looked inside. Sirius looked at her with wariness, unsure of how to act. So far, she hasn't hurt him once and kept some distance. He was more or less okay with her being around.

Her horn glowed, and a large plate full of food floated into the room. Sirius' stomach groaned, he found himself salivating. As soon as the plate was placed on the chest of drawers, he moved in to consume its contents.

There were a couple of daisy sandwiches; some delicious-looking big red apples; a few bottles of apple juice and milk; salad of mashed lettuce, cucumbers, onion, and ball pepper; a bowl of mushroom soup; and, most importantly, a small plate full of roasted tuna meat cubes.

Sirius went for the tuna, devouring it first with animalistic vigor. He wanted to eat so badly he didn't care that Luna was watching him with curiosity. As soon as he finished with the tuna, he moved to other food laid before him.

Meanwhile, the lunar princess carefully observed him, taking mental notes. She was right about one thing — he could eat meat, and he seemed to like it the most. His appetite was gigantic as were his needs. She was right about him — he needed a lot of energy and nutrients for his body and magic. Though, he hasn't shown any sign of the latter yet.

Only about seven minutes had passed before Sirius finished with everything, including emptying the whole bottles of juice and milk in one go. He wasn't full, but he was surely satisfied. He was also sure he would need more food later. For now, he was fine.

He glanced at Luna, and then back at the plate. He didn't know what to do with it.

Luna helped him by taking the plate, moving it out of the room, and then teleporting it to the kitchen. After that, she went inside the bedroom.

Sirius looked at her cautiously, following her with his eyes. Giving him food wouldn't earn his trust. However, he was silently thankful for it. At least he won't starve.

Luna sat in front of his bed, a book levitating by her side. She closed her eyes and slowly conjured an image. Sirius looked at the magical display with interest and curiosity, as well as wariness. The image depicted him and Luna reading a book. The princess was saying words, and he was repeating them.

It was clear to him that Luna suggested starting learning the language. He nodded slowly. Luna smiled encouragingly at him, and then climbed onto the bed with him. He slowly moved to her, yet keeping some distance. As soon as he was by her side, she opened the book.

They began with learning the alphabet and simple words that began with those letters. Sirius was quick to grasp the bases, learning the words and their pronunciation rather quickly. His voice was quiet and rather deep for his age, and he stuttered quite often due to still getting used to his regrown tongue. Though, he made great progress with learning, soon able to cite the letters from first to last without forgetting a single one.

He found learning relaxing. It eased his mind, making him direct the attention to education. He didn't have to think about himself or the new world, and his anxiousness subsided for a time-being.

The language he was learning was on par with English on simplicity and difficulty of learning. Though, he found it slightly easier due to a couple factors. The word structure didn't force him to try to form strange sounds, and the language itself seemed flowing seamlessly from one word into another, making sentence structure fairly easy and somewhat natural.

In a couple of hours, Sirius and Luna moved to simple sentences. They were accompanied by pictures in the book, making them easily understandable. It didn't take long for the former human to understand how sentences formed. More or less, it was the same as in English: subject first, then predicate, and then everything else.

Many hours were spent on learning the new language. By the afternoon, Sirius could already form simple sentences. He learned a lot of common words and phrases. However, the grammar was a little wonky and he still needed to learn a lot more words before he would be able to speak more or less adequately.

Luna yawned, and then decided to end the session of learning. She gave the book to Sirius, and then levitated another book to him — a dictionary, where words were organized from the simplest to the most complicated. Those two books will greatly help him learn.

"If you need to eat, call the guards — they will show you the way to the dining hall." Luna said, standing up. Sirius nodded, and then resumed reading. Having nothing else to do, he decided to use his time wisely. "Have a good day, Sirius!"

He nodded again. At least now he's able to understand something. And he will spend most of his time on that day reading the dictionary and memorizing words.

***

Before going to bed, Luna decided to visit her sister. Celestia was in her private office during that time, sorting some paperwork.

"How is Sirius?" Celestia asked after she and Luna exchanged greetings.

"As far as I can see, he's more or less alright." Luna replied. "He's actually very intelligent. I'm not very good at teaching, and yet he has already learned to form simple sentences and understand them. Maybe the language he knows is similar to Commonlang. Though, I've not heard him speaking his native one even once."

"And how is his magic?"

"Well..." Luna frowned. "He's not shown any sign of it. He didn't flip the pages with it, he never levitated a single thing. He might be a magicless unicorn, I'm afraid." she sighed. "If he has never used magic, it means he has no magical reserves at all. It is worrying... How will he live among ponies? I doubt that he's ever seen his own kind before, too.

"Maybe it is why he seems so... empty. Perhaps he knows about his state and feels shame because of it. But I need to know more about him. And I have yet to gain his trust — he is still cautious around me."

"Everything will come in time, dear sister." Celestia said. "For now, let him settle, be easy on him."

"I definitely will." Luna sighed. "If I ever hope to help him, I must find out more about him. And he is far more than he seems... Perhaps even in the bad sense of more."

Author's Notes:

You might have already guessed that both Sirius and Luna are good at reading body language through expressions, movement, and eyes. They are now playing a game of sorts, a psychological game. Sirius doesn't want Luna to know who he is, and she wants to know him because she feels the need to help him.

Also, some might ask me: "Snorting Gentleman, where is that dark, where is tragedy, gore? It feels like more or less regular HiE fic."

I have actually read a lot about depression and similar mental issues. No, not from tumblr where everyone suffers from PTSD because of an insulting youtube comment.

People with depression don't show it until it's too late. From a quick glance, they seem like normal people. You won't see any difference. Those people that openly show depression usualy have only sadness or want to gain attention. People who are truly depressed hide it because it's nothing to be proud of or show.

This is why it will take a lot of time for the story to become darker than a black hole. Besides, I don't want to throw in some gore just for the shock moment. It's unrealistic and dumb. It's no Rainbow Factory or Cupcakes or Smile HD.

Psychology is actually very complicated, and that is why this story won't instantaneously turn into gore-fest with the portagonist experiencing horrible things out of the blue.

Also, I edited my earlier character artwork, giving it more realism and refinement. While it's not perfect, I suppose it is alright. I draw better in vector, but drawing this particular character in a show-accurate way didn't feel right to me. So, here we are.

I must also mention that I finally picked a cover art. I hope it is a fine choice.

EDIT: The cover art was changed.

Chapter 7: Outside and Inside

Sirius has spent most of the day in his new room, learning different words and phrases that would be very usable in day-to-day life. When the sun begun to set, his stomach grumbled, reminding him of the energy need. He stood up from his comfortable bed and headed to the exit. As he exited, he noticed a guard standing by the door.

"Uh," Sirius uttered, gaining guard's attention. "I need dining hall."

"This way, sir." the guard replied, nodding. The two headed down the hall.

As the two went, Sirius looked at his escort with interest. The guard wore roman-like armor which was either golden or painted to look so and had a sword by his side. The former human was especially interested in the weapon. From what he could see, the hilt wasn't made to be held in hands but in something else. Noticing that the guard didn't have a horn, Sirius assumed the sword was designed to be held in the mouth. Otherwise, it wouldn't work. The shape would be pretty awkward in hand.

"Um, guard?" he asked. As the guard turned his head to Sirius, he said: "Can you show?" he pointed at the sword.

"I'm not allowed to." the guard shook his head, surprise clear on his face.

"You, uh, have it here when fight?" Sirius asked, gesturing at his own mouth. The guard nodded in response to the question. He was slightly confused, surprise was still evident on his face.

Having no other interest and seeing that the guard won't show the weapon, Sirius didn't say any other word, and the two spend the rest of their walk in silence.

Entering the dining hall, he saw Luna and an alicorn he's not noticed before. Celestia and Luna were sitting at the head of the table, preparing to eat. It seemed like supper would begin in a few minutes.

Looking at Luna, Sirius noticed how tired she was. She had a couple of slices of cake on her plate and a mug of coffee nearby.

"...go rest." Celestia said to Luna, not yet noticing the colt. "I can raise the moon for you."

"No, it's alright." Luna assured her. "I just overstayed with Sirius. It's my fault I'm—" she yawned "Tired. But I still have duties to fulfill."

"But you don't need to strain yourself so hard, Lu-lu." Celestia said.

Sirius listened closely after hearing his name. This conversation was slightly confusing to him mostly due to the fact that he still didn't know that many words to speak fluently.

"Sister..." Luna groaned, and then noticed the colt. "Oh, good evening, Sirius!"

He nodded in response, and then looked at the table.

"You may sit wherever you like." she added.

Getting the message, Sirius took the nearest seat. Then, he looked at his empty plate. How was he supposed to get food?

Luna noticed his confusion.

"Maid!" she called in a Royal Voice, startling Sirius. He didn't know whether it was directed at him or not but he prepared for the worst.

However, his worry disappeared as a maid came rushing into the hall, fear evident on her face.

"Luna..." Celestia frowned at her younger sister.

"I'm sorry, it just happens." Luna grinned sheepishly. "Sirius, the maid will help you. Just point at what you like and she'll bring it."

He nodded. The maid approached him, and he started gesturing at various foods laid on the table. He sure was going to eat a lot.

As he begun eating, Luna and Celestia conversed quietly.

"It seems he's indeed clever." the solar alicorn noted. "And you are right — there is something unnatural about him, something strange. I can't pinpoint it, though..."

"He has a somewhat silent way of walking." Luna said. "We didn't notice him until he was already here. I heard the clop of guard's hooves and figured they were changing shifts. I've not heard Sirius at all. As if he tries to stay out of sight."

"It seems he also likes to eat much." Celestia commented, looking at how quickly food disappeared from the table. "Normally, ponies of his age eat less. He seems insatiable."

"I see..." Luna frowned, watching as Sirius consumed his food quickly, without savoring the taste at all like he didn't care about it. The maid was looking slightly worried, too. "I suppose we should take into account that he was malnourished when he was found. His body is in need of nutrients, energy, and vitamins."

"I sent a group of guards to search the forest he was in." Celestia said. "They found his almost disappeared tracks near the bank of one of the lakes in that area. Near the lake Birthwater, to be exact."

"I've never heard of that lake before." Luna replied with interest. "Why is it called like that?"

"Many couples choose that lake for their 'final' date when a relationship is cemented with sex. Thus, many foals were made at that lake."

"Interesting..." Luna tapped her chin, and then took a sip of her coffee. "So, you tell me that his tracks begin there?"

"Correct." Celestia nodded. "There are also very faint traces of magic. As far as I know, they didn't come from Sirius."

Hearing his name again, Sirius' ears swiveled towards the two princesses. He didn't divert too much attention from his food but listened nevertheless.

"It sounds rather strange, sister." Luna frowned again. "It seems like the lake itself gave birth to him. It would explain some things... but it brings even more questions."

"I suppose you will find them in time if you manage to convince him to trust you." Celestia suggested.

"Alright..." she glanced at Sirius, and then lowered her voice even more. "I also think we should stop talking about him. He's listening."

The solar alicorn nodded, and the two royal sisters resumed their supper.

From their conversation, Sirius understood that they were talking about him and a lake. He was fairly certain they were talking about his origins.

He wasn't going to give them any answers. He frowned, what little of his trust in Luna diminished. Why did she want to know about him so much? Why couldn't she just teach him the language and then let him go? She wanted to push — fine. It didn't matter to him. He would retaliate if she tried to delve deeper inside him. His mind was not a place for her. It would never be. And she would never enter it.

For now, he would learn from her and see who and what she is. It might become beneficial for him in the future. What secrets did she hide? If found out, they would help him greatly as a leverage against her if she dared to enter his mind again via her weird magic or any other means.

Speaking about magic, he decided that he would definitely learn to use it. Maybe he would even learn something powerful to defend himself with or attack those who want to hurt him. It was certainly a priority for the former human — discovering how to defend himself in the new world. So far, he was completely powerless and defenseless against unicorns and alicorns.

His dark thoughts accompanied him until he went back to his room after filling his stomach up with every kind of food he could get his muzzle in.

"Sister..." Luna stopped Celestia as they strode down the hall to their personal chambers. "There is something I need to tell you."

"It concerns Sirius, doesn't it?" the solar alicorn asked.

"Indeed." Luna nodded. "You see, I've been trying to find him in the Dreamscape. But... he is simply not there. Whenever I search for him, I can't find him no matter what." she explained. "It greatly worries me... Either he never sleeps, which is impossible, or his mental block is even stronger than I initially thought."

"It seems he suffered even greater than we suspected." Celestia frowned. "Maybe you will be able to find him if I help you with my magic."

"That's what I had in mind, too. Let's go, he should be asleep by now." Luna's horn glowed for a moment. "Yes, he is asleep."

The two sisters hastily made their way to Luna's quarters. They entered the bedchambers and the alicorn of the night lied down on her bed and closed her eyes.

"I will enter the Dreamscape almost instantly after I cast the spell." Luna explained. "In case you forgot — amplify this spell as I cast it. We've not done it in a while, but it should work."

"Alright, let's do this." Celestia nodded, preparing herself.

***

Luna found herself in the Dreamscape. The colors were much brighter, and the long corridor of doors was more in focus than before.

"Tia did it..." Luna muttered to herself, and then unfolded her wings and took off, looking for a specific door.

Every door looked unique: all of them were colored as their owners. Some doors were plain, some were decorated, some were old, and some were new. Luna could open all of them and look inside. There, she would encounter a pony and their dream. If needed, she would provide necessary help. If not, she would continue her way through the hall of dreams, looking out for ponies who might need her help.

As she neared each door, she could hear muffled sounds of dreams coming through it. Most were quiet, some had moans of pleasure, and a few had nightmares. The latter were especially noticeable to the lunar princess — such a door would be encompassed in purple and green smoke, alerting her about the trouble.

Luna spent a lot of time looking for a door that belonged to Sirius. She found colors that looked the same, though the ponies inside were different as were their dreams.

She couldn't figure out why she couldn't see him. Did he wake up? Her horn glowed again, and a confirmation came — he was still asleep. If so, what was the problem?

Suddenly, Luna felt a shiver running down her spine as she heard distant rustling of metal against metal. She quickened her pace and went to the source of the sound.

She stopped in her tracks as she saw the door. It was tall, much taller than the others. It was made of ebony wood and elaborately decorated with unknown patterns and ornaments. However, it was not the size of the thing that surprised her — it was the chains that locked the door. They were massive, a single link almost half as thick as her leg. Those chains didn't look like they were made in haste — quite the opposite, in fact. They were made with care and made to endure years upon years. To open such a door would require a lot of her strength.

The door was completely, deathly silent. Not like other doors who were quiet. This one had unnatural silence, dead silence. It didn't have any nightmare mist surrounding it either. It was unknown whether nightmares or pleasant dreams waited inside.

Determined to help Sirius, Luna tugged at the chains, testing them. She was being careful, using her magic to feel his state. If anything went wrong, she would stop. At that moment, everything seemed fine.

She tugged again. Nothing happened, the door didn't even bulge.

At her third try, a loud scream appeared! It was inhuman, It was desperate, it was startled, it was agonizing, it was absolutely insane. It was the worst scream Luna has ever heard in her entire life.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Unable to stay near the door any longer, Luna dropped the spell. She found herself screaming as she fell to the floor.

"Sister!" Celestia exclaimed, rushing to Luna. "Luna, are you alright?"

Luna breathed rapidly, her eyes wide with shock and terror. Her ears have already folded, her legs were shaking. Her mouth opened and closed wordlessly.

Nothing in the whole world could prepare her for such a thing. She's been through wars, a famine, reign of Discord, fall of the Crystal Empire. Everything paled in comparison next to what that horrendous scream expressed.

"Lu-lu, please, say something!" Celestia begged, shaking her sister slightly as if afraid she would fall to pieces.

Slowly, Luna raised her head and looked in her sister's eyes. In the teal eyes of the lunar alicorn was fright. Tears started rolling down her face as she gasped. Slowly, she stood up. She shuddered, feeling a phantom wave of cold washing over her.

"Sister?" Celestia asked again, hoping to bring Luna out of trance.

"I've never heard such a scream." the princess of dreams said emotionlessly. "Desperation... anguish, terror, horror, pain... Everything mixed together and hidden under that expressionless mask." she blinked. She inhaled deeply. "I've never seen anyone so dead."

Luna fell to the floor, unconscious.

Author's Notes:

Some might ask me: "Snorting Gentleman, you promised us there would be no special connection between the protagonist and the well-known ponies!"

There isn't. It was pure luck (or poor luck, depending on the point of view) Luna found Sirius. If he didn't eat the plant, he would probably appear in another settlement if he found one. It could've happened, but it went the other way. That's how everything in life goes: unbeknownst to you, there are many choices that lead to different consequences. One such consequence was meeting Luna.

In my personal view, Luna has a motherly affection towards foals, and she feels it's her duty to make them feel safe. Since Sirius was turned into a colt, the lunar princess took a motherly interest in him seeing how troubled he is on the inside. Motherly instinct, nothing more. While Celestia has some of it, I believe Luna has much more because she can understand foals much deeper due to her being able to see their thoughts.

"But you promised not to throw in shock moments!"

And I didn't. It's just a show of how well Sirius protects what's inside him. To unlock the door to his mind, Luna will have to do much more than solve a nightmare or two. It is a new challenge for her that will push her to the limit.

I hope the text above answered the questions you might have had after reading the chapter.

Chapter 8: Alone

With a startled scream, Sirius awoke in the middle of the night.

He looked around. Nothing was threatening him at that moment. He sighed.

He didn't know why he woke up. He only knew it was something... just something. Neither good nor bad, neither pleasant nor unpleasant. It was just a reason, a reason he couldn't find.

Feeling the need of fresh air, he stood up from his bed and went to the window. He opened it and inhaled deeply.

But it didn't do him any good. He felt an extremely quickly tightening knot in his stomach. He gagged, shuddering, and then vomited out of the window, throwing up half-digested food. After the first burst, he gagged and coughed violently, his eyes tearing up, his legs shaking, and his whole body heavily sweating. Then, came the second burst that emptied his stomach completely. He coughed even more, tears streaming down his face. Then, his organism tried to force its own stomach out by making him vomit again, but this time it was nothing but acid, leaving a sour taste in his mouth.

After that final burst, Sirius collapsed, his head hitting the window sill and then the floor, finally stopping there with his whole body. He opened and closed his mouth helplessly, feeling his insides burning from the stomach acid.

He lied there helplessly, his eyes teary and his breath shaky.

"W-why me?" he said in his native language. "Why? Why do you keep torturing me?" he closed his eyes and let out a sob. "You, cruel world — why can't you let me go? What else do you need from me?" he sobbed loudly. His depression has taken hold on him. He didn't want to stand up — he wanted to die. What was the point of having to endure all of this? Why did he have to go through it? Haven't he suffered enough already?

It seemed not.

Sirius felt so miserable, so worthless. He sobbed and sobbed, unable to control it, his tears staining his fur.

A few minutes later, he stood up on his shaking legs and went to the bathroom. He needed to clean himself after this. He managed to bring his emotions back under control.

Sirius automatically turned on the water and showered himself. Then, he stepped out of the bathtub and received a blast of warm air. Soon, he was dry again. He looked in the mirror. He looked more or less fine save for the eyes: they were bloodshot and there were noticeable bags under them.

He was very tired. He got little sleep from all nights ever since coming to this new world, ever since he appeared on that red leaf in the middle of the lake out in the wilderness.

He was so sick of it. He needed sleep. He needed good sleep, something that would actually make him feel good.

Sirius returned to his bed and got in it, closing his eyes. He could try again.

But would it work?

Luna was lying on her bed, her sister by her side.

The lunar princess hadn't been feeling well since she tried to enter Sirius' dreams. A nasty headache appeared, disrupting her thinking process.

But she could still think. What did Sirius hide in his dreams and mind? Why didn't he seek help? Who is he? She didn't know whether she would ever find answers to those questions. Sirius seemed too closed and so distant from her. He was hiding behind a mask, trying his best not to show his troubles. Why? She didn't understand it. She had never met anyone like him before. She simply didn't know how to treat him. And if he suffers so much, why isn't he searching for help?

Maybe he just couldn't. Maybe he felt no one would ever be able to help him. Luna didn't know yet. But she wasn't about to give up, no — this discovery drove her forward in her struggle to help the poor colt.

So far, she only caused him harm. She knew what happened to him during the night, and it was entirely her fault. She pushed too hard, and he paid for it.

Luna wanted to go to his room and comfort him. The question was, would it work at all? He didn't seem like he wanted anyone near near him. She could see hidden hostility in his eyes: it was aimed at everyone. If she tried to force him to talk, she would only achieve blazing hatred from him, nothing more. She didn't want him to hate her because she was trying to help. She needed to find the right way to approach to him.

She stood up carefully.

"Sister, you need rest." Celestia protested.

"Perhaps, but not before I check on Sirius." Luna stated firmly, heading towards the exit. "It could be that I did something bad to him when I tried to enter his dreams. I must see if he's alright."

"Alright... But return as soon as possible." her sister said worriedly, hesitantly accepting Luna's plan of action.

***

As Luna entered Sirius' room, she felt a gust of cool air brushing against her fur. She frowned slightly, and then continued to the bedroom. She cracked the door open and peeked inside. Sirius was lying on his back turned away from her, seemingly sleeping. The window was open, letting fresh air come into the room. Luna didn't want to disturb him, so she closed the door. Sighing in relief, she exited the study room and went back to her chambers, relieved that Sirius seemed to be alright.

Unbeknownst to her, he wasn't asleep. In fact, he was very awake and absolutely furious. His face was twisted into an angry frown, his eyes almost ablaze with a newfound hate for the princess.

It didn't take half a brain to realize that it was her behind his sudden and rude awakening and his recent physical suffering. He figured out she tried to enter his mind once again and failed, and then decided to see if he had reacted to it.

Before she came into the room, he had been thinking about jumping out of the window to end his life. He didn't see any reason to stay in the new world. All it brought him was more pain. However, his room wasn't too high off the ground, meaning he would more likely turn himself into a pancake vegetable than kill himself. Besides, he still remembered his painful transformation. As much as he hated it, he didn't see death as a way out any longer. It would lead him into more suffering. He simply had no choice.

He stood up from his bed and snorted loudly. Oh, how he wanted to punch that princess in her face! How dare she think she could just use his most helpless state to see inside him? He was angry, very angry.

He had to remind himself that showing emotions won't do him any good. He calmed down enough to put on his expressionless mask. His face smoothed, facial heat gone. But fire in his eyes remained, hateful fire.

To him, Luna became nothing more than a pretender. She pretended to teach him and help him while she tried to rape his mind behind his back, hiding her cowardice, abusing her power over him. He feared her, feared and started to hate. How far would she go in order to access his innermost sanctuary? He didn't want it. He wouldn't allow it.

He knew he had to find a way of defending himself. Knowing that he would probably still be helpless while asleep, he needed to find something to protect himself with in the waking world.

And he had a plan.

He woke up early in the morning, his internal clock working precisely. He relieved and cleaned himself, and then sat on his bed and concentrated. He looked at the dictionary he was provided. He strained himself, trying to make the book fly. His intense stare did nothing to the pieces of paper bound together. Even his horn didn't glow.

So far, his efforts didn't bear fruit. However, he wasn't about to give up — his need for protection drove him forward to obtaining magic. He wanted to learn telekinesis, and he certainly would do so in time. He was sure he could do it. Once again, there was no choice but to adapt to this new world, and gaining magic would be his first step.

Suddenly, the book started glowing faint purple. Grasping onto this thin straw like a drowning man holds onto a plank of wood, Sirius pushed forward. The glow intensified, meaning he was doing it right. He grunted, his eyes fixed on the book. It moved up.

He was cheerful inside, but didn't stop with the slight lift. He pushed more magic through his horn, strengthening his levitation. The book moved up a little bit more.

He didn't stop, pouring more magic, forcing his horn to work. It was working! Little by little, the book moved up and up, supported by his purple aura of magic. A dull ache appeared inside his head.

Passing an invisible barrier, the book shot up, almost hitting the ceiling. Sirius felt like a whole mountain was lifted off of his shoulders as his horn started conducting magic as it was supposed to. He achieved telekinesis.

Then, he needed to practice it. Grabbing more thing around the room, he lifted them up and moved around. He took as many items as he possibly could.

There was a certain limit, but he hadn't reached it yet. His head started aching a lot, he had to stop it. Groaning, he rubbed his temples, trying to make the annoying pain go away.

His thoughts were disrupted when his stomach grumbled. Once again, it was time for him to eat.

***

He reached the dining hall rather swiftly and was ordering a maid around to bring him so much needed food. Besides himself, there was Celestia in the hall, sitting at the head of the table. She was enjoying her breakfast and watching how well Sirius was doing with his own morning meal.

He, on the other hand, kept a very close watch on the alabaster, multicolor maned alicorn. He didn't show any magic in her presence, deciding to hide it from her or anyone else he would encounter. He needed to practice it first. Besides, he would need the element of surprise to be on his side if he ever needed to defend himself against her or Luna.

"Good morning, Sirius." Celestia decided to approach him softly and carefully. "I am Celestia, the princess of Equestria alongside my sister Luna."

He nodded in reply, glancing at the alicorn.

"You still have problems with speech, I see." the alicorn said. "Don't worry, you will soon be able to speak properly."

He understood little of words but he did see the meaning. He nodded once again, acknowledging her words and expressing his understanding of them.

"How was your night, dear Sirius?"

Anger flashed in his eyes. He remembered the night clearly. Especially the part where he figured out Luna's intentions.

"Fine." he replied. Celestia did notice something in his eyes but couldn't recognize it. It was a nagging feeling that Sirius was lying. However, she had no way of knowing.

Meanwhile, thoughts went through his head about Celestia and Luna. Could it be possible that both of them wanted to know him more? Certainly, there was no doubt about it, he could see through both of them. Was Celestia trying to ease her way at that moment? Probably.

"Good." Celestia replied slightly cheerfully, trying to pass on her relaxed state to Sirius. "So, how do you feel overall?"

The former human paused before replying, "Fine."

It was a blatant lie Celestia could see through. However, knowing something was a lie didn't mean knowing the truth. Sirius would prefer keeping the second part as it was.

"Sirius, can you tell me more about yourself?" the alicorn asked.

There it was. Celestia was on Luna's side on this. It was clear to Sirius at that moment. Anger flashed across his face again. If they didn't back down, he would have to do something about it sooner or later.

He decided it to be sooner. Starting lightly.

Sirius turned his head towards her and locked his eyes with hers. He couldn't read emotions from her face — it was pleasantly neutral. He stared at her for a long while. The princess didn't flinch to his stare that turned into a glare.

"Myself are not for you to know." he replied coldly. "Tell Luna — no. My, uh, mind — doesn't do... You two — keep out."

Celestia frowned slightly, understanding the message. However, she decided to have a go at it.

"Sirius, I'm very sorry we caused you so much stress." she said, stepping closer to him. "We are sorry for doing it to you. It wasn't right. But all we want is to help you."

"I not ask." Sirius snorted. "Go away. Don't... ask. Leave be."

"Sirius..." Celestia sighed. "You can't be like this forever. You hide great pain, one we can help you—"

Sirius grabbed the nearest plate and smashed it against the table. His face twisted into an angry snarl. He stood up from the table, blazing glare aimed at the princess.

"Go to hell, horse." he swore in his native language and stormed out of the dining hall.

Before the conflict could escalate further, Sirius forced his emotions to stay down once again. However, he couldn't stomach staying near Celestia any longer.

He realized just how alone he was. Even those two princesses that gave him shelter, food and water weren't his allies.

All alone in the sea of enemies.

Author's Notes:

I begun to like those short summaries I do in this story. They can certainly help you understand the story better.

First, I must say that I'm not portraying Celestia nor Luna in a negative way. They try to do their best to help Sirius, but ended up being seen by him as people he can only fear and hate. Having not experienced such a contact before, the two princesses have a hard time at getting on his good side. So, those two ponies are more or less show-accurate. Though, I suppose I should build more believable characters for both princesses while staying within how Equestria is depicted in the show. Since this fic is meant to be realistic, some minor things may be changed or removed entirely for the sake of being logical. And since the story is Mature, Equestria will be as well. And there certainly won't be clear evil or good.

I hate what they did to changelings, for example. They took away their originality and turned them into pony bug-bananas. Thus, there can be seen a clear line: black, has lots of unnatural holes, does green magic changeling — bad; yellow deer-bug — good.

I know that MLP isn't a serious show but I would like to make it enjoyable for more mature audiences. It's fun. Besides, imagining us interacting with a more peaceful society is very interesting, at least to me.

Chapter 9: Apologies

"In much more simple and crude language — we fucked up big time." Luna concluded after hearing her sister's story of the accident at the dining hall. "It seems nothing works with him." she sighed deeply. "I've never met anypony like him. Ponies would never deny us, and to swear at us... He has a spirit. It is good, but... it is also worrying."

"Though, his reaction was justified. We did it wrong, sister." Celestia said. "He needs a different approach. And we definitely can't force him to accept our help. It wouldn't work."

"I know." the lunar alicorn nodded. "I'm... stressed and irritated by my own deeds. To act so foolishly..." she frowned. "It seems I've lost my touch with truly troubled foals. Nowadays, everything is so simple, everypony is so easy to understand and help. With Sirius, everything is much more different and complicated. And everything confirms one of my suspicions — he has never seen ponies before. As insane as it may sound, he doesn't seem to be from our world either." she paused. "I remember what you told me about other worlds you encountered. It could be possible he is from one of them."

"Perhaps it is so." Celestia nodded. "However, it doesn't explain anything about him. In every single world I had visited I didn't hear a single word of language I didn't understand or know. And he said roughly four words to me, all of them completely different from what I know. It was clear he had insulted me, but I understood not a single word."

"This confirms my earlier suspicion, too." Luna nodded, then tapped her chin. "Maybe... Hm... Well, here is my analysis: the way he moves is unpony-like, judging by the hospital records his body structure is slightly different from ours, his brain is almost completely different. He also speaks an unknown language, and he seems to have some trouble with his body. He has also shown signs of confusion and shock when he saw magic being performed. It all points toward him not being a pony but either being turned into one either by accident or on purpose."

"Maybe it's the reason he struggles so much?" Celestia suggested.

"No, there is something deeper and much... older inside him." Luna shook her head slightly. "He doesn't seem to mind his change too much. Surely it's irritating having to deal with such a change, but I've not seen any sign of mental issues with his new body. His stress isn't connected to his physical state — his mental, inner state is the source of his behavior and problems. But what made him into this disturbing, easily angered, depressed husk of a sapient being?" she frowned deeply. "I hope it won't be too late when we find it out. He needs help, and quickly. Otherwise..." she looked at Celestia. "He might commit suicide."

A heavy silence fell upon the room the sisters were in. Both of them were shocked by it with Luna coping with it only slightly better. In centuries of peace and prosperity, their country hasn't known any suicide or even attempts of one. To think that someone was too damaged to continue living was almost impossible for the two. Without almost any crimes, completely without serious ones, and with high quality of life, there wasn't a single reason why anyone would commit suicide in Equestria. Things weren't much worse outside of that country as well.

Neither Celestia nor Luna wanted to know what world Sirius came from to suffer so much and to be scarred so deeply. However, they wished they knew what to do with him. There was simply not a single clue for them to use.

"This... this is... absolutely terrifying." Celestia sighed shakily. "It seems we won't succeed alone. And I still remember my last two mistakes with ponies I took under my wing." she looked away, sadness showing on her face. "While those mistakes aren't as severe, I don't see myself fit to help Sirius. I... I can be a ruler, a teacher, but I simply can't be a... friend. I've learned it, and I don't want to repeat the same mistake again." she looked at Luna. "Maybe Sirius can be helped by introducing him to other ponies of his age. Perhaps he'll open to at least one of them... I hope."

"But he still needs to learn our language." Luna pointed out. "He seems pretty intelligent. Very intelligent for his age, I might add. I suppose I can teach him the language, test his mental capabilities, and then send him to a school. As good as I am with foals, I am not relatable to them at all. Most of them if not all see me as their protector, not as a friend. Thus, Sirius needs to be exposed to foals of his age. He might be able to make a couple of friends and socialize. Perhaps it will ease him."

"Agreed." Celestia nodded. "So, let us begin. I'll search for a school with the friendliest environment and you will prepare Sirius and do some paperwork needed for him to enter the school. He will also have to live somewhere — I will search for a school with a hostel. He will have a roommate, and it will allow one of two things: either he becomes friends with them or ignores them." then, she said reluctantly: "There is a third possibility, however... He might grow to hate them. Negative emotions are strong with him... I hope it doesn't happen."

"It is all we can do, sister."

Sirius was idly sitting on his bed, staring at the floor blankly. He managed to bring his emotions back under control. However, they were still there: anger, sparks of hate, and fear. He was angry at both Celestia and Luna for trying to find more about him. He started to hate them for their actions. And he feared they might do something much worse to him. No matter how friendly they seemed, to him they were just two manipulative beings. All rulers are like that. He was sure neither of the two were different. Why would he think another way? So far, they have shown only their creepy desire to meddle with his mind and dig up as much about him as they could. He simply couldn't accept that sort of thing.

Sirius felt depressed again. His worst state returned to make him suffer again. He couldn't hide that feeling no matter how hard he tried to. Even after death, trouble followed him around. He couldn't even try to commit another suicide simply because he no longer saw it as an end. Why would any of his next attempts be any different? Would they be less painful? Or maybe they would throw him into another world? He didn't want to find out. It was better this way.

What was the meaning of his new life? There was no goal, not a single reason to live or even exist. What's the point if he can't forget himself? All those memories, all those emotions were still inside him. Every single bit of pain and misery he had ever experienced before his rebirth was still there. He would never be able to live among the ponies. Too much was inside him, and he grew tired of hiding it. He would never release it, for he feared himself much more than anything. He thought that everything that was inside him must stay there. For his own safety.

He could see how happy the ponies were. Behind the serious looks of the guards was happiness and comfort, in the eyes of their princesses was joy and most importantly, will to live.

He lacked any of that. It was like this for a very long time he has forgotten what true happiness is. He sometimes smiled and laughed, even felt good, but then, when he was all alone, he remembered everything. His childhood and teenage years, kindergarten and school, start of university. He hadn't seen any reason to continue existing like that. Routine, over and over again, and some memorable events. Some bad events, and something entirely too horrifying and grim to think about for too long.

His heart sunk, he felt shivers running through his body. He was completely alone without any hope of an end. It was like rape: he was bound and violently used by whatever higher power brought him to the new world. It forced him to continue his existance, carelessly threw him into an unfamiliar world and made him follow a princess, and then...

There was nothing. No release, no answers. Complete and utter void.

Sirius sighed deeply. His life has come to a moment where he wanted nothing more but to sleep forever. To never wake up. However, he knew he would never achieve it, no matter how hard he may try. He could just move forward and see where it would lead him to. Not that it was any better.

Exiting his trance-like thoughtful state, he decided to learn some words and then practice the levitation. First, he lifted the dictionary and opened it. He could combine learning and training, he realized. So, he begun to learn new words.

Pretty soon, his vocabulary filled with more words as he gobbled them up without a break. He was eager to learn new words and how they're used as to be able to speak, read, and write clearly. It also kept his mind off of things he didn't want to think about. He was glad he had something to do outside of sitting still or lying in a half-asleep state, struggling against his depression and other negative feelings bottled up inside his poor mind.

After studying for an hour or two, he decided to focus on levitation. He lifted a book in the air, then another book, and then everything else he could reach with his magic. Reaching out and grasping wasn't harder than using hands, but actually lifting was a problem. He struggled, his face heating and sweating as he concentrated, focusing at the things he wanted to move with his new ability.

Suddenly, he heard a set of hooves coming his way. He placed everything back where they were and waited for the door to his room to open. Soon, Luna creaked it open and looked inside. Sirius glared at her. What did she want from him?

"Sirius," she said, her ears folding. "May I come in?"

"...Yes." he said after a small pause. He observed her as she fully entered his bedroom and closed the door behind her. He could see she was slightly nervous by the way she moved and looked at him.

"I'm very sorry for trying to invade your dreams, Sirius." Luna said, full of shame. "I just wanted to help, but now I understand I was hurting you instead. I'm deeply sorry for the pain I had caused you."

As much as he wanted to believe her words, he didn't think they were sincere. He wasn't ready to forgive and forget what she did to him. He couldn't care less about her intentions as well.

"If you don't want to talk about it, I will no longer press." Luna said. "Do you accept my apologies?"

He thought for a couple of moments. On one hand, he felt she was being honest with him. On the other, she didn't seem like a kind of person to trust. Perhaps he could make a... compromise.

"I understand... what you say." he nodded. "But I not accept sorry." he looked her in the eyes. "Deserve it first. I need learn language. You need, uh... acceptance. We... cooperate." he blinked slowly, watching Luna closely. He clearly saw she was slightly uncomfortable. "You teach, I learn. And you... remember not to, um... mess with this." he gestured at his head. "Do again, and... I make sure this," he pointed at her horn. "Not works." he made a snapping gesture, accompanying it with a sound. "Your power is there, I know it. Keep it... away from me." he put his hoof down. While he feared her, his anger and will to hide his secrets greatly outweighed the fear.

"I... understand." Luna nodded hesitantly. She didn't show it but she was very shocked to see and hear Sirius literally threatening her. Breaking a horn would mean the end of life for a unicorn or an alicorn. Horns may heal if all parts are in place and connected right, but the process takes years to complete, and even then it's not guaranteed that the horn would work properly. All in all, such a threat was very dangerous. She started to doubt her and her sister's decision about sending him to a school. "I accept your terms, Sirius. They are fair. Now, let me teach you some important things..."

***

A few hours have passed with Sirius learning the Commonlang, the worldwide language. He learned how to structure his sentences correctly, a couple of essential words, he even started on tenses. He understood that they were pretty simple: only past, present, and future; only a couple of words added to one of them would define what kind of tense is used in the context of a sentence or a test. It was far easier than learning English tenses.

Then, was speech practice. The two conversed about random topics, Luna correcting him if he did wrong. She also made sure no uncomfortable questions were made. She didn't want him to lash out on her. She especially didn't want her already fragile relationship with the colt.

"...So, what would you like to do?" Luna asked after their session ended.

"What do you mean?"

"Would you like to take up a hobby? Surely it's boring just staying here all day long." Luna said softly. Maybe it would make Sirius better.

"What is a... hobby?" the former human tilted his head.

"Well, just something you do for fun or entertainment or sometimes to compete with others."

"Ah, I see." he replied in understanding. "No, no need of it. Learning is fine."

"Alright, then." Luna turned to exit the room. "You have the rest of the day to yourself."

Sirius became slightly less angry at the alicorn. She learned her lesson, and he was sure she and him could perhaps stay on neutral terms once she earns his forgiveness.

As for the hobby, he remembered he had one. He hadn't abandoned it up until the last days of his old life. Perhaps he could take it up again. However, he needs to practice levitation first. Without the hands or replacements for them, his hobby could just be abandoned forever.

So, he spent the rest of his day studying the language by himself and practicing levitation.

Author's Notes:

And now, moving to my favorite section: some explanations.

"Snorting Gentleman, how could Celestia and Luna figure everything out?"

If you stay a ruler for more than a few decades, it means you are pretty smart. Those two stayed rulers for centuries. I suppose the conclusion is simple for you to figure out.
***

Let's talk about Sirius. He is showing very bad signs of depression. He can't find the meaning of his new life, he has nothing to do, he has no goal. Indeed, there isn't a single reason for him to continue living. And yet, he can't commit suicide. He believes it won't work. Thus, he is powerless to do anything, and such a feeling can be very destructive.

So far, he isn't becoming better. Will the royal sisters be able to help him?

Chapter 10: Chance

Author's Notes:

Instead of doing bigger chapters, I decided to update even more frequently.

Enjoy.

A couple of days have passed since then. Sirius has greatly improved his skills in both magic and language, albeit he could only levitate and couldn't build too complex sentences. Overall, he was a little bit below average. However, the Commonlang was indeed very easy to learn. He was pretty sure it was the reason for the language to be common in the first place. Everything made sense in it: sentence structure, pronunciation was the the same throughout the words, even the speech flowed naturally.

Neither Celestia nor Luna tried to meddle with him anymore. He was grateful they didn't even ask him any questions that regard his past. They were indeed helping him adjust to the new world, and he was thankful it didn't go further than that.

Luna tried to teach him magic but failed. He hid his new ability from her, fearing she would somehow exploit it. Until the time comes, she will remain oblivious to his magic. He will make sure she does.

Luna became sad and frustrated over her attempts at teaching him even the basic form of levitation. She didn't know he already could do it and blamed herself for not being able to teach him. Not only that, but he was still cold towards her, not even letting her too close to him. She had a motherly desire — to hug him, to share her warmth, make him feel better. However, he wouldn't let her, and she didn't push too hard. She feared he would hurt her because of it, and she clearly saw he didn't want anyone near him. He would fight if needed to.

She and her sister were also busy with finding a suitable school for the colt. They wanted to make sure no harm would be done to him. Teenagers could sometimes be unwelcoming towards a new student, and the two sisters feared such a thing would escalate into a violent conflict. It was clear Sirius would fight to the end and wouldn't let anyone harm him without consequences.

Making sure he doesn't feel like he's in prison, Celestia and Luna let him walk around the castle. He had clear access to most parts of it, excluding the kitchen and personal quarters of either princesses. However, he was being watched over by the guards. There wasn't a single part of the castle where they didn't stand guarding.

Sirius discovered one very interesting thing he became very interested in. On that particular day, he decided to visit it.

At another end of the castle, he entered a big hall. It was the training hall of the Royal Guard. The guards at the entrance watched him closely as he walked into the hall and sat so that he won't be too noticeable.

The training was in progress, and the stallions were practicing swordplay at that moment. Short swords, longswords, even greatswords were used to train for possible combat situations. Even in the years of peace, the guards trained hard to be ready for everything. They were elite for a reason.

"Colt, what are you doing here?" one of them approached him. The stallion seemed slightly older than others. He had white fur, blue mane and tail with a streak of cyan, and blue eyes. His armor was different from others', featuring different colors and more elements.

"Watching." Sirius replied. After a couple moments, he said, "I won't mess things up."

"Alright, then. Just stay out of the way, please." the stallion nodded, and then returned to other guards.

Sirius carefully observed the training. All stallions were divided into the groups of three. Two stallions fought while the third observed and judged. Then, they changed places. After a couple of rounds, ponies would switch with others, making sure everyone trains with everyone.

Their technique was mostly focused on defensive side of combat and takedown. The blows were aimed at the legs, and head was being avoided. However, they also trained for possible kill-or-be-killed situations where their lives would depend on their ability to strike the most vital parts of the body swiftly and deadly, as well as evade blows of their foes.

It was pretty interesting for Sirius to watch. He was always interested in dueling as a way of keeping himself fit. Swordplay requires strength, agility, reaction, and swiftness of thinking. With all of the requirements combined, victory was almost completely assured. He might take it up once more when he learns levitation enough to handle a sword without cutting himself. Besides, he might buy himself a sword to protect himself. There wasn't really any downside besides maybe receiving strange looks, and he couldn't care less about them.

***

After observing for at least half an hour, Sirius went back to his room. On his way, he encountered Celestia. She greeted him, but he ignored her and passed her by without so much as a look. The princess sighed sadly, watching as Sirius disappeared around the corner. He was just as cold towards her as he was at her sister.

"Princess!" she heard a voice behind her. She turned around and saw a young stallion rushing to her.

"What's the matter?" Celestia asked with interest. The stallion stopped near her, breathing heavily. "Easy, easy. Take a few deep breaths."

"The reply has arrived." the stallion said, levitating a letter to his princess. He wheezed.

"You didn't need to rush so fast." the princess noted.

"Your majesty, you told me to inform you as soon as possible!" the stallion replied, still gasping for air.

Unbeknownst to the two, Sirius returned and watched the two from around the corner.

"While hurting yourself in the process?" Celestia raised a brow. The stallion blushed in embarrassment.

"I, I'm sorry, your majesty." he said in shame.

"You don't need to." the princess replied. "Just remember it for the future. For now, dismissed. Get some rest"

The stallion bowed and went his way.

"Hm..." Celestia opened the letter and started reading it. Unfortunately for eavesdropping Sirius, she didn't read out the contents of the letter out loud. Though, she did say something: "They accepted... I should tell Luna."

Even that sentence alone spoke volumes. Sirius highly suspected the letter to be about him. Were the princesses giving him away to someone? He wouldn't allow her to hide it.

"Princess." he headed straight towards her. "Is this letter about me?"

Celestia looked at him in surprise, and then frowned.

"Eavesdropping is a bad habit." she said.

"Hiding things about me from me is a bad... thing." Sirius countered, looking her in the eyes. "If it is about me, I need know."

"Well... it does concern." the princess admitted. "Luna and I have been searching for a school for you. We alone can't teach you. And believe me, we wanted to tell you once the time comes."

"It comes when things happen. You are late." Sirius said, his distrust in the princesses growing. "You could tell me. You didn't. You think I let it slip?" he glared at her. "You think me stupid? You—" he gestured at her. "Disgusting to me. How you rule if you not tell... truth to whom need it?" he snorted. "I'm looking forward to not seeing you again. Your sister, too. Ever." he turned around and continued his way back to his room.

"Sirius, I—"

"Away with apologies." he replied, not turning.

"Sirius, please listen to me!" Celestia said louder, following him. "We simply don't know how to talk to you. We don't know how to treat you. Only if you could help us understand what you want..."

"Oh, I want one thing." Sirius turned to her. "To be left alone." he said through gritted teeth. "I never asked for help. Why you keep giving it?"

"You seem like you're lost. You're not from here, you haven't known our language until recently." Celestia replied, stepping closer. "Even you don't know why you are here."

Sirius looked down. He really didn't.

"Please, let us help you adjust to the new environment. My sister and I see how unfamiliar everything is to you. Then, we will let you go. You will be able to go wherever you like." the princess continued. "Please, accept at least this."

Sirius was silent for a few moments. He didn't have anywhere to go, he didn't have the necessary knowledge to be indistinguishable from other ponies.

He was also completely alone. As much as he hated to admit it, as much as he wanted to like the loneliness, as much as he wanted to stay away from people, he felt this longing to at least hear someone speaking. Not necessarily to him, though.

He thought. Without the help, he would be out there in the wilderness, struggling to find food and water, living in the dirt. He would be even less than he was at that moment.

"I..." he started, finding a sudden lump in his throat. "Alright..." he found himself on the verge of tears. "I w-will." his voice cracked at the end. He turned around and quickened his pace. He couldn't allow Celestia to see him like that.

She looked at him in confusion. His sudden mood change greatly surprised her and brought even more questions about him.

***

He entered his room, went to his bed, and jumped on it, letting the tears flow. He sobbed quietly, burying his head in the pillows, trying to drown in them.

He was stressed beyond relief. He thought he didn't need any help but on the inside he was screaming for it. His broken mind was shouting at him for pushing everyone away. He desperately needed someone or something to relieve his stress, to help him, to be by his side.

But he feared. He was afraid of letting anyone near him. In the past, he has been fooled, deceived, and betrayed. Too many times he has experienced pain because he let someone too close. He suffered even more from letting other people know about his inner problems.

He was way worse than before. All those days after his successful and yet failed suicide, he was feeling extremely depressed. His only way out turned out to be just another way in. After death, he found only pain. Not only physical — he could endure that, but emotional. He found himself being fooled and deceived yet again as the truth was hidden from him for a reason he didn't understand.

He sobbed and sobbed, staining the pillows with his tears. He was so weak, and he hated himself for it. He mustn't show emotions — they can be easily exploited by others.

He heard the door opened. He wiped his tears, sat up, and turned around. It was Luna standing at the doorway.

"Sirius?" she called him. "Are you alright?"

He didn't answer. He was staring at her with his reddened eyes.

"What happened?" she asked.

An uncontrollable tear rolled down Sirius' cheek. He sighed shakily.

"Sirius," Luna walked closer to him and sat in front of him. "Please, tell me what happened. Maybe I can help you."

He was shouting at himself inside. He shouldn't have stopped to listen to Celestia. He shouldn't have cried.

He should've drowned in that lake with the red leaf around his body to prevent him from struggling.

His death should've been final.

"I see you're angry at me and my sister." Luna said, looking him in the eyes. "I understand why. We weren't doing good to you. We didn't know how to approach you. But we know you are damaged. But please, listen to me. We don't want to force our help on you. But let us at least help you with some very important things, and then we will leave you alone. You need to go to school to study, and you will be free from us from then on. Maybe you will make a couple of friends you'll be able to trust and rely on."

Sirius was still silent. He wanted to shout at Luna and maybe even punch her, but the other side of him told him not to do it.

Maybe it was it. His chance to start over. His chance to evade mistakes he has done throughout his life. A chance to live... maybe. Or at very least pretend to be living. Hide himself from the world and pretend he's alright. It wouldn't be that hard.

"...Yes." he finally said. "You prepare me for school. We part, and I am then alone. You will leave me. I... I will do without you. And... I accept some help. Alright. Nothing else." he sighed shakily.

Luna wanted to go deeper and maybe find out why he was so much hurt, but she decided not to push her luck. She managed to at least talk him into going to school and maybe even befriending someone. She hoped he will at least try to become friends with someone, at least.

She was sure he'd open up to someone eventually. She clearly saw how desperately he wanted to share his thoughts and maybe find comfort, but he was much too afraid to show his troubles to her or Celestia. Someone equal to him in power and age would be much better for him.

Sirius was thinking about the school. It was the most toxic environment he has ever encountered in his life. But maybe schools in Equestria were different? It wouldn't hurt to at least visit one.

Chapter 11: First Impressions

A day has passed in a relative peace. Sirius was tested by Luna in mathematics, language, and geography, the three main things he needed to know before entering school. As she found out, he was very good at math once he figured out what each symbol meant, and his learning of language was going smoothly. He still had problems with words and their placement, as well as large and complex sentences, but he was good to go. In geography, he could navigate on both the map and terrain fairly easily, and it was the main criteria on being good in it. Luna didn't know him enough to guess where he obtained the knowledge, but he did learn many things while he was studying at his first school.

His magic was also tested, and it was found out he had above average magical reserves which were used a couple of times. However, Sirius told Luna he couldn't do any magic. It was obviously a lie, but the princess of the night didn't know the whole truth to disprove his statement. She was confused as to why would Sirius be hiding it.

So, it was the last day of his stay at the Canterlot Castle, and he was glad to finally leave it. He explicitly stated that neither princesses nor royal guards must accompany him to the school or the hostel. He said he would find the way by himself. Being alone and away from royalty would be good for him, he thought.

Before Sirius went off, he picked up the red leaf. It looked like always, albeit less lively. The former human couldn't quite place that difference. He rolled it up and put it into his saddlebags.

Luna gave him rather large saddlebags made in his color scheme. They contained some inkwells and quills, a couple of books he would need to read to understand the language better, and a couple of notebooks to write in. There was also a snack for him: a couple of rose sandwiches, a pair of red apples, and a bottle of fresh water. Overall, everything that was necessary for him was with him.

***

Walking through the streets of Canterlot, he kept to the right, to the more shadowy part of the street. He didn't like seeing all those ponies walking around, and he didn't want to bump into any of them accidentally. Stay out of sight, stay out of attention. If anything happened on the street, he would be able to disappear swiftly and unseen. He has learned it during his teenage years. Don't want to be noticed? Don't act like you want to.

He didn't found architecture or ponies interesting to look at. He mainly stared at the road under his hooves, simply thinking about moving his legs. He wasn't afraid of crowds but he surely would be better if less ponies were around. Although, he wouldn't like the street to be completely empty.

The sun was high in the sky. It was about midday. It was the reason why there were so many ponies around the streets chatting, walking, or simply doing their jobs. A couple of royal guards could be seen patrolling the streets. They were mostly an eye-candy than an actual civil protection patrol — there weren't any serious crimes committed in over a couple of centuries. Murder was completely forgotten, robbery and thievery eliminated, pesky disturbances almost disappeared. Nothing but a couple of foals messing around jokingly.

Overall, it was very peaceful. Sirius even started to like this state where he didn't have to look out for shady people. Though, it didn't mean he stopped doing it. It was an instinct he had developed by then. Avoid danger, look around often, it was his strategy of walking in the streets. You never know what you might encounter there. One of his scars reminded him of it quite often.

Soon, he reached the school and the hostel. Both looked like ordinary buildings on the outside, only having their names displayed on the front entrance. Canterlot Elementary School and CES Hostel. Sirius went to the latter.

As he entered the hostel, he noticed how clean it was inside. When he first arrived at the hostel near his college, it was pretty dirty and even had cockroaches running about. This one was a nice and welcoming change.

"Good day, young stallion!" a mare at the counter greeted him. "You're Sirius, am I right?"

He nodded.

"Good. I was informed you might arrive soon." she nodded. "Everything is already prepared for you. Room number fourty-five. It's on the second floor. Have a good day!"

Sirius nodded again, and then asked: "Keys?"

"Don't worry, there are better security measures than that. Nopony besides you and your roommate can enter without permission." the mare replied. "We got everything covered!"

Sirius was slightly skeptical about it, but he decided to trust her. He had already seen magic by then, and he was pretty sure it could be used for safety and security measures.

***

Finally, Sirius entered the apartment and closed the door behind him.

The room was quite spacious, having two beds with chests of drawers by them, a couple of shelves above them, a couple of walk-in closets, two tables with chairs, and some bookcases. There were windows behind the beds, showing the view on the school.

On the second bed a filly lied, reading a book. As Sirius entered, she lowered it and looked at him. He looked at her in turn.

She was a pegasus about the same age as him, had icy-cyan fur and long wavy white mane and tail with two streaks of very pale blue, and her eyes were gray with a tint of pink. She also had a cutie mark of a lightning encased in frost.

"Hi." she said cheerfully, setting the book aside and standing up from the bed. "I'm Iclyn." she walked to Sirius and extended her hoof for a bump. "You're Sirius, right?"

He carefully studied her. Iclyn was looking at him without wariness but with interest. She was pretty confident in herself, too. She was pretty cheerful, wanting to talk to Sirius about different things. It was apparent she was tired of loneliness of the apartment.

He nodded to her question, ignoring the hoof. He also had no idea how to respond to the gesture. Awkwardly, Iclyn placed her hoof on the ground, pretending this moment didn't happen.

"The school's over for today, but I can show you around." she said, walking to the door. "You know, help you get acquaint with the place. You mind?"

Shaking his head, Sirius detached the saddlebags from himself and placed them near the exit, and then followed Iclyn out of the room.

"I was told you're from far away and arrived just recently. So, what do you feel about Equestria?" she asked as the two walked down the hallway to the stairs.

"I not know it much to say for certain." he replied in his yet rather crude Commonlang.

"I've not heard such an accent you have before." the filly commented. "It's exotic... Well, you'll surely find Equestria to your liking! I s'pose you'll just have to discover more. And learn the language, too."

Sirius nodded again.

"So, where are you from?" Iclyn asked with interest.

He didn't answer.

"Uh... I guess you don't wanna talk about it?" she asked, confusion on her face.

He nodded.

"Alright, sorry..." her ears dropped slightly. "Um... What did you do before coming here?"

"Nothing too interesting." he replied. He was, of course, lying. He just didn't want to talk about it but neither did he want to make her suspicious of him. For all he knew, the princesses could very well be watching him right at that moment.

"That must've been pretty boring." Iclyn replied. "However! We will surely have a lot of fun stuff to do! After the lessons, that is. It's settled, then — I will show you around the whole city!"

"No." Sirius shook his head. "After lessons, I will be studying. I not want go around the city looking at... things." he also wasn't looking forward to spending much of his time with the filly. She was too vocal and talkative for his taste.

"Aw, c'mon, you don't want to just sit and do boring stuff!" Iclyn said in disappointment. "Really, there is so much for you! You've not been here before — it's time to look around and see Equestria!"

"I know just enough." Sirius countered. "Drop it."

A pause ensued in their more or less one-sided dialogue.

"Jeez, you don't have to be like that." the filly frowned slightly. "Okay... If you don't want to explore Canterlot, good for you. However, you need to know what our school is."

He nodded.

***

"...and here's the cafeteria. Food's free, pick whatever you like when we finish studying for the day." Iclyn finished her tour, and the two went back to the apartment.

Sirius liked the school so far. It had free food, working toilets, even working showers. Everything was in pristine condition, too. Not even a random writing on any walls. The colors were soft and comfortable for his liking: various light shades of green. Speaking about the green, there were many pots with different plants placed around the school. It looked pretty lively and warm.

But he reminded himself that students didn't always correspond with how the school looked. For all he knew, they could be total uncaring assholes. While Iclyn wasn't one of those, at least not yet, Sirius suspected that other students could very well be.

In conclusion, he stopped caring about the school's looks as soon as he exited it. All he cared about was getting some knowledge and education. He needed to learn about magic, for once. It seemed pretty useful, and he wasn't going to miss such a chance of learning it.

Then, his mind returned to Iclyn.

Overall, Sirius felt slightly irritated and annoyed at the filly, as well as tired. He wanted nothing more than to lie on his bed, busying himself with a book or two. Books were the only source of entertainment and knowledge he could get. He didn't care about Iclyn or what she did — she was a roommate, nothing more. As long as she stays out of his way, everything will be fine.

Iclyn was uncertain about Sirius. She knew him too little to say anything about him. However, it was clear to her that he was a rare kind of pony. Unlike any other teenage colts she's met before, Sirius was much different. Even disturbingly so. She couldn't quite place it yet, she couldn't define the difference, but it was apparent something was amiss with him.

If she only knew...

Author's Notes:

Everything goes more or less smoothly so far.

Will it continue like this? Certainly not.

Now, a picture of Iclyn! It was made by the amazing skunkdinner!

Chapter 12: Expectations

As the evening came, Sirius settled down in the apartment. Munching on a sandwich, he was reading a book, expanding his yet poor vocabulary. He would often mutter the words to hear how they sounded. Then, he would repeat those words a couple of times to memorize them. Overall, his mind was productively occupied.

Iclyn was sitting at the table, using her mouth to write in her notebook. While there weren't lessons that required homework the next day, she did it in advance so that she wouldn't have to do it later. From time to time, she glanced at Sirius with some interest. However, he pretended he hadn't noticed. Eventually, she stopped looking at him and fully concentrated on the homework.

Sirius was informed that four lessons took place the next day: two lessons of Physical Culture and two Magic lessons. Nothing that would require him to prepare written homework. He wasn't even worried about the lessons in the slightest — he could roll with them until they become a nuisance he would no longer stomach. As long as they taught him something useful, he wouldn't object. And if they didn't... Well, he would find another way.

Feeling nature's call, Sirius stood up and went to the bathroom. Actually, there was a door in the apartment that led to one, and he didn't notice it until Iclyn used the bathroom for herself.. As he entered it, he found it to his liking — small but useful, the bathroom could provide anything necessary for physical relief and cleaning.

As he finished with the former, he decided to take a shower and then go to sleep. He got into the bathtub and turned on the water. Adjusting it to a comfortable temperature, he washed himself thoroughly, including his mane and tail, washing away all dust and bring the feeling of fresh upon himself.

He didn't spend long in the shower. As good as it was, he wanted to sleep more. Soon, he stepped out of the bathtub, expecting a warm breeze he received at the Canterlot Castle. However, no hot air blew. He swore under his breath as he understood he had to take care of all that wet fur by himself.

Picking up the nearest clean towel, he dried himself to the best of his ability, becoming a fuzzball in the process. He was glad neither his fur, mane nor tail were too long. Besides, he was planning on cutting the latter two. During recent years, he had been keeping his hair short, and the same could be applied to his mane and tail.

He decided to look inside the drawers under the sink. Maybe he could find a pair scissors or something like that. Fortunately, he discovered what he needed — a mechanical hair trimmer. He once used one of those, and it wouldn't take him much to remember.

He began to shave his mane. The trimmer was slightly off, and Sirius found himself in light pain due to how it pulled his mane from time to time. However, in five minutes he completed all of the shaving and threw the shaved hair into the bin that was conveniently placed near the drawers. He looked in the mirror. His mane looked fine from the front. He turned his head around to see if he missed anything. Gladly, he didn't, and all his mane was by that moment only about one and a half centimeters long, including the huge part of it on the neck.

Then, he moved to his tail. It was much easier — at least he could see where he was shaving. Not that it was particularly difficult with his head, but actually seeing the process was much better.

So, he decided to leave the tail slightly longer, about three centimeters. As he finished trimming, he realized there is a lot of leftover hairs stuck in his fur. Blaming himself for the stupidity, he put the trimmer back and went back into the bathtub to wash the hairs away.

After everything was done and he dried himself off again, he exited the bathroom.

Iclyn turned to him and inspected him.

"Huh, you look quite nice with that short mane." she complimented.

Without replying, Sirius went to bed and soon was lying on it, preparing to go to sleep. He didn't care about her compliments — he had done it for himself, not her or anyone else.

Iclyn sighed and muttered under her breath: "Not the friendliest type, are you?"

Sirius decided to ignore the statement and instead focus on resting. He didn't care what that filly thought or said about him either. He wasn't there to make friends, at least not with those strange ponies. He would be better off studying instead.

***

Sirius found himself unable to sleep as insomnia took hold on him again. A couple of hours had passed by the time he realized he wouldn't get any sleep that night without doing anything to help himself.

It was about midnight, and the moonlight was peeking through the window. The former human sighed and sat up.

He remembered that the school would start in the morning. He would get to meet new ponies and study various subjects, some of which he would perhaps take an interest in. For once, he was interested in magic. But not in how it worked but rather how it could be used. He already knew one way — levitation. Could he fly? Could he teleport? Could he transform one item into another? There were endless possibilities with the new power he had.

He was anxious to start learning it. Math, geography, history — all of them didn't matter, nothing else but magic was interesting to him. Though, he would need to make sure he wouldn't be expelled from the school for failing in other subjects.

Sirius decided to go for a walk to get some fresh air. He didn't care if there were any restrictions for night walks, he desperately needed some clean air to ease his mind.

He stood up from his bed and went to exit the apartment.

"Where are you going?" he heard the voice of Iclyn. She was lying on her bed and looking at the colt.

"What it to you?" Sirius snorted, and then exited the apartment. The filly annoyed him more and more with each moment he was near her. He hoped she would tone down her apparent interest in him.

After the door closed behind Sirius, Iclyn stood up from her bed and followed him. She was very interested in where he was going at that time of night.

***

Sirius found comfortable solitude on the streets of the sleeping city. No one stopped him from walking around, and only once a guard approached him and asked if everything was alright. The former human explained that he couldn't sleep and needed some fresh air, after which the guard left him alone.

However, he could still feel eyes on him. It was a creeping feeling of being followed. He didn't like it one bit and decided to see if he can catch the sudden stalker.

He turned to the nearest alley and hid behind a dumpster. Soon, he heard someone walking towards his position. He prepared himself to tackle them as soon as they appear. The steps of his stalker were rather silent, and yet he was able to pick up on them without his own steps sounding over them.

He breathed as quietly as possible. Who was his stalker? Who was following him? He was about to find out. He needed to stay hidden to catch them off-guard.

A figure walked through the alley. It was slightly smaller than him. He could pin it down without much problem.

Silently, he pounced. At the last moment, the figure managed to turn around and face him, but it was already too late. He tackled the stalker and pinned them underneath him.

Getting a better look, he saw it was Iclyn.

"What the hell?" he asked in his native language. Remembering she couldn't understand him, he said in Commonlang: "What you do here? What do you need from me?"

"Why are you walking out here so late?" Iclyn asked, looking at him with some fear and uncertainty. Her forelegs were pinned by the colt firmly.

"Not your business." Sirius frowned, pushing down on her. He was in a dominating position, she couldn't escape from under him. He found such a position disgusting and too suggestive to use in that situation. He hoped no one would find them lest he would be accused of a rape attempt. He almost shuddered thinking about it. "I don't need you following me around. You... you had... should have stayed."

"Hey, it's not alright to just leave in the—"

"Why do you care?" he pressed her against the ground harder, his voice becoming harsh and aggressive as he moved his face closer to hers. He bared his teeth and said menacingly: "Do not follow me again. Ever. Or I... I will hurt you. Bad." he finally let her go. "Now, return. Leave me spend my time alone."

"Jeez..." Iclyn dusted herself off, trying to hide her fear. What she witnessed wasn't just a colt but more a hunter. Subconsciously, she understood just how strong and dominant he was. "You're... weird, dude." she shook herself, and then went back to the apartment. Sirius watched her until she disappeared around the corner.

He sighed in relief and sat down. He shivered and shook from the aftershock. In truth, he feared it could be someone else. He was glad it wasn't.

First, the princesses, and now just a random filly, all of them showed some interest in him in one way or another. Why couldn't all of them just leave him alone? Did they care about him that much? He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't.

Also, he would have to spend some time in the school with not only Iclyn but other foals as well. He only wanted to study, nothing else. He was just a regular guy in his first school, and he wasn't going to change it in his new one. He thought he'd better stay alone in class and not get involved in any activities, social or otherwise. He cared only for obtaining knowledge about magic.

And still, he wanted to end his life. Maybe magic would help him in his endeavor? Maybe there was a way to put him under a spell that would last forever and would put him in a peaceful slumber? It would be a fine alternative to dying, especially if he figured out how to trigger his death upon the spell's end. He wouldn't want anyone wake him up. He wouldn't want to wake up at all.

Since he didn't want to socialize, it was the only way for him. Until he figures it out, he will stay away from ponies, at least relationship-wise. He couldn't afford getting close to any of them. Besides, he deemed it impossible — even in the new body, he was still a human. How would he love a pony? How would he befriend one? He thought they and him were much too different. They were cheerful and happy while he was depressed and suicidal. Truly, how might such a relationship work? He thought it would never work at all, and he was certain he was right about it.

He wasn't going to change just for a chance to continue his existence. He didn't see any purpose or meaning in it.

Sighing deeply, he stood up. Enough of fresh air, he needed to return and sleep. It was the most peaceful state of mind he would hope to get at that time.

Hanging his head low, he headed back to the apartment. Nothing but routine waited ahead for him. Routine with just a couple of interesting moments, he was sure of it.

However, deep inside himself, he hoped it would be different.

Chapter 13: School

The first school day for Sirius has finally started. And it started with him getting up in the morning to the alarm clock. After hitting it to make it stop, the former human groaned and tried to rub his eyes. It didn't really go well since he didn't have fingers. He swore under his breath and got up from the bed.

His sleep was undisturbed, but it didn't relieve him. He got just a few hours of sleep and the fatigue still remained. First thing in the morning, he decided to wash his face to wake up faster. But unfortunately, the bathroom was occupied by Iclyn as that moment. Sirius sighed and sat down, laying against the wall, his eyelids growing heavy. School days were as he remembered them: an early start, boredom, and a huge desire to hug his bed forever. Nothing has changed.

He didn't plan on dying from boredom. He needed to find something else aside from studying to do lest he goes even more insane than he already was. The classes haven't started yet but he already had a growing grudge against them. And he was also sure that his predicament about them being boring would be proven true as soon as the first lesson starts.

Soon, Iclyn exited the bathroom, a smile on her face.

"Good morning!" she greeted Sirius cheerfully, hoping he would be nicer towards her. She remembered the incident that happened at night, but she still wanted to be friends with him. He might be rough around the edges, but she hoped he would warm up to her.

To him, mornings were never good, so, he ignored her statement. He glanced at her and saw that she was completely alright. She didn't even look tired. Making a slight frown, he got up from his sitting position and entered the bathroom.

"Still not friendly..." Iclyn muttered and then sighed. The hope of the two becoming friends diminished with each moment they spent together.

Sirius locked the door behind him and went to the sink. He looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were slightly red and there were noticeable dark bags under them. He also noticed how sunken his cheeks really were. Even after eating a lot at the Canterlot Castle, he was still skinny, right on the edge of unhealthy. If anything from his former body remained, it was his genetic problem — inability to gain much weight. He sighed, and then turned on the water. He splashed some on his face, and soon he was fully awake.

Seeing an unused toothbrush and unopened toothpaste, he decided to clean his teeth. He hated routines, but he hated dirt and yellow teeth even more. During his whole life, his teeth had a noticeable yellow tint he just couldn't scrub off. However, his new teeth were white, and he really wanted to keep them that way.

After finishing the morning routine, he exited the bathroom and saw Iclyn waiting for him on her bed.

"Classes start in twenty minutes." she said to him. "C'mon, you don't wanna be late for school."

Nodding, Sirius followed her as she stood up and exited the apartment. He was ready.

***

Some time later, the two reached the training grounds of the school where Physical Culture took place. It was about ten minutes before the lesson would start.

Those training grounds were actually huge, having a stadium comprised of a football field with a track around it, basketball and volleyball areas, and a tennis area. Overall, it was pretty good.

Sirius observed his new twenty classmates, and they warily watched him in turn. All of them were teenage ponies of different tribes, some of them looking at him with interest, others with a bit of fear and uncertainty, and a few of them looked at him with hidden hostility. The former human took notice of that, keeping it in his mind if he would ever approach those ponies. He also noticed that all ponies had their special marks already.

He had come across the description of said marks by then and found the whole concept of bound talent to be completely ridiculous and absolutely bizarre. It made no sense to him — how could a pattern of colors on a flank define talent? Maybe he lacked understanding, he didn't know, but he was certain that it would be better for him not to get such a strange mark. He had few talents, but he didn't want to be restricted to the only one.

Returning his attention to the ponies, he saw that the class was neutral to him at that moment. He wasn't looking for trouble, hoping it would stay that way.

Maybe not for long. One of the more hostile ponies approached him. It was a young pegasus stallion a bit taller than Sirius and certainly more athletic. He had a barely hidden smug look on his face.

"Hey there, colt." the young stallion greeted Sirius more or less neutrally with a hint of menace. "Where's your mark?"

Sirius frowned. He already expected the conversation to go wrong. He knew that some people like harassing others because the latter don't have something that defines social status that the former has. While Sirius wasn't subjected to such a situation before, he knew too well what could happen to the victims of such a 'conversation'.

He was a new student, a target for bullies, and he understood it perfectly. He was being tested for weaknesses, and he wasn't going to give them any.

A part of him that hoped he wouldn't have to see such things again died. Well, he could approach it calmly. But if things go south, he would return what he got, be it aggression, violence, or good. Do upon others what they do upon you, his motto was. He wasn't against showing that he didn't want bullies in his life. He wasn't afraid of any consequences either — he had already gotten through many much worse things than it by that moment. There was nothing: no beating nor verbal harassment could do much harm to him. Words couldn't hurt him, but he could very well hurt who said those words.

"I not have it." Sirius finally replied, looking in the eyes of the stallion, studying his appearance

"Yeah, somepony like you certainly can't have it. You don't even speak right!" the stallion mocked Sirius, getting a few chuckles out of his friends. He was pretty confident in his success and it was shown in his daring posture and expression. His chest protruded forward in pride and challenge, his eyes looking into Sirius', hooves firmly on the ground.

"I learn it." Sirius replied calmly. He knew that such an approach to the confrontation could possibly lead to peaceful resolution. He just needed to phrase his words correctly so that the bully won't find them an invitation to fight. "You can understand me — there, no problem. Soon, I will... speak better."

His adversary was surprised and slightly confused at the reply. His brows raised slightly, he lifted one of his front legs, his confidential position falling apart. It wasn't the reply the bully expected. Sirius waited for him to respond.

"Well..." the stallion searched for a new way to verbally assault Sirius. "It's so sad that you've not learnt it by now. You know, all normal ponies do."

"How many languages you do know?" Sirius asked.

"At least one, unlike you." the stallion snickered, his confidence returning.

"Are you so sure? Because I know more than one. Soon, I will learn to speak Commonlang as well." Sirius replied in his native language. A smirk almost made its way to his face, but he hid it as not to provoke the bully.

"...What?" the stallion replied. He looked puzzled, his eyes widened, his smug look disappearing. He expected such an outcome even less than the previous reply.

"What I meant is — I know another language. Commonlang... I will learn it soon or late." the former human replied. "Do you still have... doubts about my, um, ability to... communicate?"

Some ponies behind the back of the bully chuckled, bringing confidence to Sirius.

The bully snorted, frowned, and then returned to his place. Sirius has come out a victor, much to his relief.

"You shouldn't get on his bad side." Iclyn told Sirius.

"I can defend me self, thank." he replied with a hint of sarcasm. He indeed could defend himself, at least verbally, and maybe even physically. He'd see to improving his skills at physical combat, actually. He hasn't grasped all aspects of his new body yet, and he wanted to be prepared if things come down to simple fighting.

"But—" Iclyn tried to say.

"I did not need advice." Sirius cut her off. "I been to schools before. I know how... they work."

Soon, the bell rang, signaling the start of the lesson. Everyone was assembled by the teacher, a muscular ex-royal guard who continued wearing his golden guard boots.

"Good morning, students!" he greeted them in a rather deep voice. "Today's a good day! Right for the endurance training! The task for now — a full lap around the stadium, then warmup, and then five laps. I'll be watching you! Dis-smissed!"

Sirius felt uncertain towards the teacher. So far, he didn't seem too much special. Like many of the teachers of his subject, he was rather old. However, he wasn't fat — quite the opposite. He was also militaristic, it could from a slight glance and the way he talked.

Without a further ado, Sirius followed his classmates as they started to run the lap. He increased his pace to match that of others, and was soon trotting alongside other students.

But soon, he began to tire out. He didn't have much muscle anywhere on his body, energy was scarce as well, and he discovered he couldn't keep up with other ponies. He slowed down slightly, and soon found himself behind everyone. Thankfully, the lap soon ended, allowing him to breathe fully and recover.

The warmup consisted of jumping, stretching, turning, all kind of movement possible with pony body. It seemed everyone was doing their own warmup, and Sirius decided to adapt his fencing warmup to his new pony body.

First, he jumped as high as he could, folding and unfolding his legs under himself. Then, he would do ten sit-ups. His body could still stretch fairly easily, his agility from his previous body remained. Then, Sirius did a few lunges forward, trying to figure out how to do them with four legs instead of two. Soon, he found out they could be done just by moving left or right legs simultaneously, imitating his earlier moves when he was bipedal. After that, he would stretch his body to the limit. Thankfully, he wasn't wooden with his new body, allowing him to do the full split without any problem.

Some students were actually impressed by the last display and tried to repeat it after him. None succeeded in fully replicating his move. They also found his warmup routine strange as they've not seen such a pattern before.

As everyone finished with the warmup, they started doing laps around the stadium.

Sirius wasn't sure he would survive five of them, so he went pretty slowly, keeping his breath steady. He was behind everyone, but he wasn't going to compete for the first place or anything. Besides, it wasn't a competition at all.

Even with the warmup, he began to tire out quickly. On the second half of the second lap, he began breathing hard, almost wheezing, trying to get as much air as he could. His legs also began to tire out and weaken. He wasn't sure if he could finish even the third lap without problems.

As he almost passed the first half of the third lap, his vision darkened. He slowed down significantly, and almost fell. As his eyes returned to normal, he stopped trotting and started to walk. His new body was weaker in terms of endurance than his previous one.

"Slacking, aren't you?" the teacher said, approaching Sirius.

"No... sir." the former human replied in between breaths. "I don't have... enough endurance."

"I see..." the teacher frowned, looking at the colt. "You really need to eat more, son. Well, you may finish for now. Get some rest, and then the whole class will play volleyball." the teacher smiled slightly. "And I like your manecut."

"Thank you, sir." Sirius nodded, and then sighed in relief. He was glad he wasn't forced to continue running — he would most likely collapse if he attempted to do it.

Instead, he went to the nearby bench and lied on it, resting his legs and body. His mind was let to wander around different subjects.

He was so tired. Some ponies needed something from him, two princesses wanted to help him while not knowing anything and making fools of themselves in the process, a bully was probably after him, and to top it all — he was weak. There was no way he could become strong physically — he needed magic, he desperately needed means to protect himself.

"Hey, tough speaker!" that bully called Sirius. "We should call you... no-legs! You can't even take these pathetic five laps!"

Sirius groaned, not replying. He was too tired to retort. He didn't want to retort. But if things escalated further, he would use force to show that he wasn't someone to push around.

***

Finally, the class started dividing into two teams. Two captains were chosen by the teacher: the pegasus who previously harassed Sirius and a friend of his, both athletic ponies. They took turns to choose ponies into their teams. Sirius was left for last. Finally, he was chosen by the bully's friend, and the game began.

"Unicorns, remember not to hit the ball with your head!" the teacher reminded everyone.

The game went rather smoothly. Sirius was able to hit a ball or two and send them back to the opposing team. The teams were more or less even, rarely making the score differ by one or two points. Overall, the former human enjoyed the activity, finding it to his liking. While he wasn't that good at it, it made him think about winning the game and not about losing his life. This was the main reason why he liked sports — they made him feel much better. They helped him cope with his feelings and put them away at least for some time.

Suddenly, he was hit in the back of the head by the ball. Sparks flew out of his eyes as he almost bit on his own tongue.

"Oi, watch the freaking ball, will you?" the bully's friend taunted Sirius.

"Hey! Be careful there, colts!" the teacher yelled. "We don't need injuries happening!"

It was clear to Sirius that the hit wasn't an accident but a provocation done by the bully and his friend. Two of them would easily beat him physically. However, if he gives them no reason to do it during the lessons, they will most likely attack him after them. He will be ready for it.

***

After the lessons of Physical Culture ended, the ponies went to the shower room in the school to get themselves ready for the next lesson. The shower room was unisex — there was no shame for them to be together since they were casually nude most of the time. Sirius wasn't against it — he simply didn't care about it. He found nothing sexual about the equines nor was he ashamed of showing his new body.

As Sirius scrubbed himself, he was approached by the bully and his friend. They had displeased looks on their faces.

"Hey!" one of them called. "How are ya, big brains?"

"Tired after lesson." Sirius replied, continuing cleaning himself.

"Yeah, tired after only two laps." the bully rolled his eyes.

"Three." Sirius corrected him. "What you want from me?"

"You're not tough enough to be here, no-legs." the reply came as the two moved closer. "We're here to give you a lesson."

Without a warning, the bigger bully pounced. Sirius had his eyes on him and managed to dodge thanks to his trained reflexes. He gripped the brush tight.

The brush was made of wood and had a rather long handle. Sirius figured out it could be used as an improvised club or even a mace. He swung at the bully and hit him in the side of the head, stunning him.

The second moved in, only to receive a face punch from the former human. Sirius pushed the stunned stallion away and headed to the exit.

"Argh, you little!.."

Sirius noticed a piece of soap. He grabbed it and threw in the head of the first bully who had by then recovered from the brush hit. The soap got in his eyes and made him fall as pain clouded his vision quite literally.

"AURRRGH!"

Fillies screamed as Sirius dashed past them to the exit. He couldn't take on the bullies alone. He understood clearly that he would need the teacher to know what's happening.

As he exited the showers, he saw that the exit was blocked by another bully — an earth pony stallion.

"No escape, huh?" he taunted, his posture relaxed.

Sirius noticed a broom in the corner of the room. It could be used as an improvised staff. He dashed to the side and grabbed the broom with his magic.

"What are y—" the third bully began but was swiftly cut off as Sirius hit hard. Another hit soon followed, this time on the leg, making the bully fall to the ground. Making sure he won't stand up, Sirius swung the broom at the head, and managed to stun the bully.

"Here's this little shit!" Sirius heard the voice of the first bully behind himself. He spun around, still holding the broom. He managed to place it between him and the bully as the latter collided with the end of the broom by the chest. Air knocked out of his lungs, the bully fell to the ground, gasping for air. A follow-up hit soon followed, making sure he won't stand up. "Argh, my leg!"

The last one kept his distance, looking at Sirius.

"You think you're tough, huh?" he taunted. "You, blank-flank, are nothing!"

Sirius didn't reply, focusing his attention on the movements of the bullies. Two of them were lying on the ground, moaning and groaning in pain, nursing their legs and heads. Sirius needed to keep them in his field of vision.

He failed to hear the door opening behind him.

"What in the name of Celestia is happening here?!" the teacher's thunder-like voice sounded. Then, he surveyed the scene. Two ponies were lying on the floor, one was standing at the entrance to the showers, and another was still holding a broom. There were also colts and fillies looking at the scene from the showers. "Ah, I see... You three—" he gestured at the bullies. "—are a disgrace to the school! Picking on students again? Not to mention that he has beaten you! You didn't expect someone to be smarter than you, huh, feather-brains? You are dishonorably discharged for a week! All of you — wait for me at the principal's office. Dis-smissed!"

The bullies gathered, grumbling. Sirius relaxed and placed the broom where it previously had been. The battle was over and he was the victor.

"As for you," the teacher turned to Sirius. "You were good, son, real good; maybe even the best." the corners of his mouth went up. "I congratulate you on defeating these three dishonorable pieces of... ahem. Anyway, they were quite a cactus in the rear. So, are you into fencing?"

Sirius nodded.

"It's no surprise, considering you've just beaten three most athletic colts in class. Two of them pegasi, no less. I tell you what — there is a fencing section in the school, I advise you join it. You have a great potential, son. Perhaps you will be able to join the Royal Guard once you're older."

Sirius almost smiled. If there was fencing in the school, he would take it up immediately.

"And... what is your name, colt?" the teacher asked.

"Sirius."

"It's an honor to see such a warrior like you, Sirius." the teacher extended his hoof. "Colonel Pride Fight."

The two bumped hooves.

So far, it wasn't so bad for Sirius. Even if he did encounter bullies, it was beneficial for him — not only did those three get detention for a whole week, Sirius earned respect from a teacher and found out he could take up his favorite activity again. It would certainly greatly help him in his future endeavors.

"Though, we still have to go to the principal. She would like to hear your side of the story as well." Pride said. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble."

Sirius didn't worry. If all teachers were as good as Pride, he wouldn't have to fear injustice from them. He was glad the teacher actually cared about who started the fight.

Overall, not bad. Not bad at all.

Chapter 14: Trouble

After Sirius told the principal his side of the story, he was let go. Unfortunately, he was slightly late for the Magic class, but it didn't get him in any trouble.

Students in the class were divided into three groups: earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. Each group was taught their respective magical specialization. Sirius, of course, got into the third group. It consisted of seven ponies including him.

"Oh, you must be the new student!" the teacher said as Sirius entered the auditorium. "You're Sirius, right?"

The former human nodded, taking in the features of the teacher. It was a mare in her twenties. She had pristine white coat and swirling pink mane that was tied in a bun behind her head. Her special mark was a wooden wand with a spark on one of its ends. Her pink eyes looked at the new student with interest.

"I'm Aura Wand. Now, how about you introduce yourself to the class?" she suggested.

Everyone looked at him. Besides his name and witnessing his fight with the bullies, they didn't know anything about him.

"There nothing interesting to say." Sirius replied. "Thing that matters — me name. Also, my problems with language."

He wasn't going to talk about himself in any way or form. He didn't see any reason to introduce himself to his classmates. He wasn't interested in sharing his private information.

"Well, you have a rather strange accent." Aura said. "Maybe you could tell us where you're from?"

"Doesn't matter." Sirius replied. "I came here to learn. I... need magic. My country is... irrelevant."

The teacher frowned slightly. She's never seen such a colt before. Usually, even the shyest ones would tell at least something. However, she decided to let it slip.

Sirius started searching for a place to sit. Finally, he could inspect the auditorium. It was rather small, fit for the number of unicorns in the present group. There were ten descs placed in a circle, facing the center of the auditorium. Each desk was supposed to be used by one unicorn at a time. The room as a whole was colored in soft shades of blue and purple, accompanied by carefully placed white spots that gave the room the cosmic feel.

Sirius chose the closest desk. Other unicorns were bundled together as if they feared he would start beating them for no reason. Thus, desks to his sides were empty. Sirius didn't complain — he never liked having to sit with people. They would mess around and annoy him to no end if he allowed them to sit nearby. Besides, he didn't want to be friends with any of them.

"Alright, class, I need to fetch something real quick, I'll be right back in a moment." Aura said, and then exited the auditorium.

Sirius frowned, suspecting that she did it to make others try to talk to him.

He was right. Warily, a colt approached him. He was slightly smaller than Sirius and wore a pair of glasses as his distinct feature. His coloration was a lot like Sirius', but the colors were richer, and he had a barely noticeable streak of white in his medium-length wavy dark-blue mane. His special mark consisted of books on a wave of water.

"Um, hey, Sirius." he greeted Sirius quietly. "I'm Wave Rider." Sirius was unsure if it was his name or nickname. "Um... Do you like books?"

A conversation with him looked harmless. Perhaps, Sirius could get to know him, but still keep the distance. So, he nodded.

"Most of us here do." Wave said, and other unicorns nodded. "But we're called nerds and pushed around by earth ponies and pegasi... You know, um, the usual."

Sirius listened. He couldn't yet understand what the outcome would be.

"We're all thankful for what you did today." the unicorn continued with much confidence. "Those three really messed things up. A whole week without them is absolute heaven!"

The former human still tried to understand where the conversation was going. So far, he understood that the unicorns were grateful to him for sending the bullies away. Maybe he could get something from it.

"We all thought about that, and... can you tell us how you did it? We really need to, um, protect ourselves." Wave stated.

Sirius thought for a couple of moments. He didn't see any downsides of giving them a piece of advice. Besides, he hated bullies. Anything that would hurt them was fine by him. He wasn't a completely uncaring person as well.

"It is simple." Sirius began. "You need fight dirty and without holding back. Bullies will yell you for not fight fair, but the only reason they do it because they not want you to win. They want to beat you on their... terms.

"You need use any thing to advantage. You see a stick — use it to beat the bully. You see... soap, sand, pepper, salt, anything like that — throw it in their eyes. Don't be fear to beat them when they lie down. Make sure they can not hurt you."

"It's not very nice..." a filly from the group said.

"They are already not nice to you." Sirius replied. "You need not be nice to them. Do upon them what they do upon you. They deserve it for what they do."

Sirius had read about many 'accidents' where bullies scarred people for life or made them commit suicide. If he could save others from that fate, he would. Even if he was broken not by the bullies, he still didn't want to see people — or ponies — suffer because another group of people liked harassing the weak.

"And... tell teachers about it." the former human continued.

"But the bullies will mock us for that and call us whiners and losers." another foal commented.

"They already do it." Sirius replied. "They want to win on their terms. They would do any thing to win: mocking you is one of them. So, tell teachers. Tell them you are bullied. If bullies are... expelled, it is good."

"What were you talking about?" Aura asked as she returned to the auditorium.

"Sirius told us how to fight bullies." Wave said proudly.

"Fight? As in physically?" the teacher frowned. "You must report them, not fight."

"They need to get the message." Sirius explained. "Such... ponies don't, um, back off until they hurt. Until they are hurt. They not understand words."

"It doesn't give you the right to beat them."

"Yes, it does." Sirius retorted, looking in the eyes of the teacher. "They hurt us. We retaliate. It is called... self-defense." he frowned slightly. "Or... can we not defend us?"

"Well, you can, but..."

"What is problem, then?" Sirius pushed. "From what I hear from classmates, the bullies are harming ponies for a... long time. Bullies need be expelled. If you can't do it, we do it. We show them they must go."

"Are you implying us teachers can't do our job?"

"Deal with bullies — no, don't seem so." the former human shook his head. "But all I say is that... you should deal with bullies better."

"Alright..." the teacher let out a long sigh. Aura could see where the problem lied. "I will see what I can do to fix the situation. But try not to get into any trouble, okay?"

Sirius never searched for trouble, and yet it found him quite often. Sometimes, he felt like he was a trouble magnet.

The bell rang, signaling the start of the lesson. Since the first bell rang for everyone to assemble in their auditoriums, the second one was needed to start the actual lesson. It was frowned upon being late to the first one but wasn't punishable, fortunately. Everyone took their places and waited for the teacher to start.

"Alright, students, today we're going to talk about teleportation." Aura said. "It is one of the hardest basic spells that allows instant travel between distant locations. It is widely used by many unicorns across Equestria to lessen the time of travel. Though, such a spell isn't suitable for mass teleportation. It was discovered that a maximum of six ponies can be teleported by an accomplished unicorn. However, the average number varies between two and three.

"All of you will try to learn teleportation. However, don't feel bad if you don't learn it — it is very difficult for the majority of unicorns. It certainly won't hurt to try." she teleported a pile of pebbles to the middle of the room, and then gave each student a couple of them.

Sirius lifted the pebble and inspected it. It was just a regular pebble commonly found pretty much anywhere.

"Now, let's begin our practice." Aura said. "For more concentration, close your eyes and feel the pebble in your magical grasp."

Sirius did as asked, closing his eyes. He could feel the pebble as if he was using hands to hold it.

"Now, channel your energy into the horn while imagining the pebble and the place you want it to be. For example, under your desk."

The former human didn't lack imagination to do as asked, and soon two images were in his mind.

"Now, release your magic onto the pebble."

He let it flow.

He didn't feel anything.

He opened his eyes and saw that the pebble hadn't moved a millimeter. He was fine with it — he didn't expect teleportation to work as soon as he learned about it.

He looked around. So far, no one had done it.

"Keep trying, students." Aura said. "However, if you feel your strength runs out, finish it and rest. No need to overexert yourselves."

***

Iclyn was in the pegasi group, training her flight and weather control. She was flying laps around the stadium, building up her endurance.

Her mind kept returning to her newest classmate and a roommate, Sirius. He was a mystery to her. To all her attempts at befriending him, he responded with aggression. Though, she came to understand that she shouldn't have followed him out of the apartment during the night. It was clear to her that he wanted to be left alone, at least during his nighttime walk.

He was also a fighter as she had witnessed earlier that day. She saw him throwing the piece of soap with precision and then saw how easily he took on two rather strong pegasi with just a broom.

He could fight and he wasn't too much friendly. Iclyn had been thinking about it for a long time and guessed that Sirius clearly didn't want anyone to hurt him, let alone be near him. He distanced himself from friends and enemies alike. Even to her it was apparent he was hurt in the past.

"Don't slack, li'l feathers!" she heard her teacher yelling. She had to increase her pace.

Iclyn sighed. Princess Luna had written to her that Sirius was a very strange individual, but she didn't expect him to be like this. Iclyn was already surprised by the message from the nightly princess herself, and the appearance of such a mysterious figure following the letter was even more surprising and confusing. All Luna had written to her were two simple sentences: "Sirius is dangerous to enemies and wary with others. Take it easy with him, it might be hard to be his roommate."

She didn't get any task from Luna to befriend Sirius, no — Luna merely advised the filly to be easy on the colt, that is. But Iclyn suspected that there was much more to Sirius than he showed.

Iclyn was going to see what she could do.

After the classes ended, Sirius went to cafeteria to eat. He was very hungry and couldn't wait to stuff his stomach with as much food as he could get.

Iclyn met him halfway through the hallway that led to the cafeteria. As soon as she was close enough, he turned to her.

"Hi." she greeted him casually. "So, how was your first day at our school?"

"...Could be worse." Sirius replied after a moment of thinking.

Iclyn didn't want to know what could be worse than encountering three bullies that wanted to beat you up.

"Alright... What did you like the most?" she continued.

"Magic." the former human replied. "I almost teleported a pebble." a flash of anxiousness appeared on his face for a brief moment. "Can't wait to learn it."

"Hey, it's pretty good." Iclyn smiled at him. "You know, you could get your special talent in magic, who knows?"

He highly doubted it. He didn't have any special talent. He didn't believe in the special marks either. He was certain his opinion on them would never change.

As the two entered the cafeteria, Iclyn stopped Sirius.

"Lemme show you who sits where." she told him. "It's important if you don't want to get into trouble by accidentally sitting on somepony's else place."

"Do places belong to ponies?" the colt asked.

"Well, no, but..."

"Then it matter not." Sirius stated firmly, cutting the filly off. As much as he didn't want to get into trouble, he was against all that nonsense school hierarchy.

"But some ponies would—" Iclyn protested, only to be cut off by Sirius again.

"You think I can't protect me self?" he asked her.

"...Not really, no." she said after a moment of thinking. He could take on three athletic stallions, he could possibly take on a couple more.

"Then we can sit wherever we like." Sirius concluded. "Let me show you how it's done."

First, he grabbed all the food he needed to eat, and then went to search for a place to sit. Soon, he chose a seat to relax on. Placing the various plates and bowls of food on the table near him, he started eating.

However, soon an earth pony stallion showed around, frowning at Sirius.

"Hey colt, that's my place." he said, approaching the colt. "Get outta here."

"Do you... own it?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah."

"Prove it."

The stallion was taken aback by Sirius' words. He has never heard anyone challenging him so openly before.

He placed his forelegs on the table and slightly lifted himself, attempting to scare Sirius. However, the former human didn't move, but he was ready to retaliate if a need arose.

Then, the earth pony spat into the mashed potatoes that Sirius brought.

"How's that for a—" he began to say until he felt those mashed potatoes being forced into his mouth. His eyes widened, he inhaled sharply out of surprise, getting some food where it shouldn't have been. Sirius didn't stop, continuing his assault, forcing every last bit of those potatoes into the stallion's mouth and throat, suffocating him.

Everyone in the cafeteria looked at the scene with shock.

"Drop it!" a harsh voice came from the entrance. Sirius turned his head and saw a security guard trotting his way. "I said drop it!"

"He spat in my food." Sirius said, letting go of the earth pony. The stallion coughed and wheezed, getting pieces of potato out of his breathing system.

"I don't care! I won't tolerate violence here!" the guard retorted. "You are going to the principal, young colt!"

"And how about you start do your job?!" Sirius shouted at the guard. "You suppose prevent it! You... useless leech!" he yelled the insult in his native language. Calming down slightly, he continued, anger in his voice: "How about you go to principal and explain why this... thing happen?!"

He looked at the guard with challenge. However, the latter was too stunned and shocked to reply.

"It's what I thought." Sirius snorted. Grabbing the food, he exited the cafeteria. He didn't want to stay there any longer.

Author's Notes:

I want to say a couple of things.

First of all, I'm not trying to portray Sirius as some sort of badass who kicks butt left and right. He is simply very aggressive towards those he dislikes. And since equines are herbivores, basically prey that would choose running away over fighting, they don't expect such aggression from their own kind. Thus, Sirius has a major advantage over ponies: not only aggression, but his past shaped him into a hunter that would strike before he is hurt.

Besides, most men use their negative emotions to fuel aggression. It's a psychological fact as far as I'm aware. While depressed women would most likely cry, men would become aggressive. So, men use violence as stress relief. It is why Sirius fights dirty and aggressively and is into fencing. It is but a mean for him to focus his mind on something else or let out his bottled up emotions on others. Feelings can't be hidden forever.

Also, I will explain later why Luna chose this school as the friendliest even after we saw it's not that friendly. Everything has a reasonable and logical explanations.

You might've also noticed how I don't use the term "cutie-mark" in this story. I consider it silly to use in serious stories. "Special mark" sounds more logical to me.

I would like you all to leave more comments with feedback. I'm like a junky here, updating the page every now and then to see if there's a new comment. I like reading them, be they positive or otherwise.

Chapter 15: Thoughts and Swords

Sirius was back in the apartment, eating his food. He was slightly sad at the absence of mashed potatoes — he liked them very much. He was also angry, very angry. What was Luna thinking when she sent him to such a school? Where had security guards been when they were needed? Nothing was right.

He was angry at himself, too. He allowed himself to show emotions. It was unacceptable — he didn't want anyone to know what he felt. If people know too much about you, you are never safe. Sirius didn't want it to happen. He also hoped no one noticed the tears he let out during his outburst.

He felt like he was being tortured. Not only he was denied a release, he had to take a new body and live in a different world. While it seemed different on the surface, Sirius discovered it wasn't too much better than his previous one. Different worlds, same problems. Though, they seemed to be not as severely destructive. Perhaps they could be fixed with some work. At least he hoped so — he didn't want to live the same life again.

Sirius slammed his hoof onto the table in frustration. If those problems couldn't be fixed, he would have to take another way. The way of murder. If he was put in a cell to rot all alone, he would consider it a better life. Besides, all he could ever hope to achieve was silent solitude where he wouldn't be disturbed. He would just close his eyes and imagine a better world in his mind — one he would like. One he could only dream of. One he could never hope to truly live in.

A tear rolled down his cheek. There was nothing better for him.

But he didn't want to murder. He didn't want violence. He wanted peace. But would he ever achieve what he wanted? He didn't think so. Failure was all he expected to happen. What was the point of struggling? He would be held back by others or would find himself unable to do anything because of other factors he couldn't control.

Control.

All he wanted was control over his life. To be able to do his own thing without anyone stopping him. It wouldn't be murder or any other sort of violence. It would be what he desired most — peace. He would build a small cabin in the woods, maybe near a river or a lake. He would live there and enjoy it. He truly would. What would be better than not having to see anyone else? Nature was always predictable, at least to a certain extent. People were much more chaotic. Intelligence had made them unpredictable and cunning. One can outsmart animals — but one cannot outsmart all sapient beings.

He wanted serenity. Death, solitude, eternal sleep, anything could work to achieve it.

However, there was a third option — neither death nor comfortable solitude. It was an option he had abandoned long ago.

Memories resurfaced within him as a couple of painful tears rolled down his cheeks. He sniffed quietly. He remembered.

He remembered her. As much as he tried to forget her, he still repeated her name sometimes, and he couldn't control it. He would remember her and how she treated him. He thought he could forget her, purge her out of his mind, destroy memories associated with her.

He never could. He knew he couldn't. He still felt the pull towards her. But he would never get there. He would never return. And it was all his fault, and he knew it. All the blame lay on him. There was nothing he could fix.

He let out a sob. He didn't want to remember. His mind was a complete mess, and memories hurt him. They hurt him like nothing else could. Added to his horrible 'collection' was the newest memory — the first day at the new school. Bullies, uncaring people, more bullies. The new memory outweighed all positive notes he had gotten that day.

He sobbed again. Without anyone to violently let his feeling out on, he could only cry in despair and misery. There was no one to be strong for. No one to intimidate. No one to push away. And he was pathetic, so weak and powerless, helpless and hopeless. He only had himself to blame. It was all his fault.

Sirius felt the need to have someone in his life that would understand him and help him. But he feared it. He didn't want to become close to anyone. It would most likely bring pain and only pain to him. Trusting memories and secrets to someone other than her... He would never do it. Even back when he was still a human, he didn't trust completely even her.

It hurt. It was rotting alive. It was burning eternally. It was continuous torture with pain beyond imaginable. There wasn't a word Sirius knew to describe his shattered and broken state.

If only he could die. If only there wasn't a chance he would be reborn as a human or something worse.

He was helpless indeed.

Finishing with his food, he stacked the plates. He remembered he would have to return them to the cafeteria eventually. Not at the moment, though — he didn't feel like going to the school.

His thoughts returned to his loneliness. Maybe he could find someone who would understand him at least to some extent. Someone to replace her. Someone he wouldn't make a mistake with.

He had made many mistakes in his life, some of them couldn't be reversed or forgiven. He hurt others. Later, he understood it was wrong for him to do, but it was already too late. He had dug his own grave.

Perhaps, he could try again. He learned from his mistakes — he wasn't going to make new ones. At least he hoped so.

He thought about finding someone to trust. Iclyn seemed like a good candidate. She reminded him of her — positive and cheerful. Yes, maybe she could replace her.

He hoped it wasn't too late to get Iclyn to at least like him. But he needed to make sure he wouldn't get too close to her or the other way around. First, he needed to get to know her better and see if she was truly suitable. He also had to remember that he had reasons to fear the attachment. And he hated those reasons with a fiery passion.

He could do nothing about them.

***

Sometime later, Iclyn entered the apartment. As soon as she noticed Sirius, a worried look appeared on her face.

"Sirius..." she approached him warily, watching him closely. "Are you okay?"

"...No." he replied with honesty. It took him much more effort than it seemed.

"I'm sorry it happened to you today." Iclyn said. "Everything is much better usually..."

"Not your fail." Sirius replied, waving dismissively. He didn't want to speak or think about it. "So, what's for tomorrow? I forget to check the s... sch... um..."

"The schedule." the filly helped him. "Well, there are two history lessons and two maths. Also, Pride Fight was looking for you — the fencing club starts in an hour and a half."

"Good." the former human nodded. He didn't show it, but he was happy on the inside — his favorite activity would return soon. Anything to take his mind off of his morbid thoughts would work fine. "Um, will you show me way? I, um, can't read numbers that well yet."

"It won't be a problem." Iclyn replied. She felt relieved — at least Sirius became more talkative. She didn't know what triggered it, though. She decided not to think about it too much. "Just lemme do the homework and then we'll go, okay?"

"Alright." Sirius said, a tiny smile appearing on his face. It wasn't an honest smile — his eyes remained mostly expressionless. He wanted Iclyn to feel like he was at least slightly cheerful. But if he wanted to be honest, he would tell her about his desire to share his problems with someone understanding. However, he couldn't do it. She had yet to earn his trust. "Um, I need some math, can I see work? I can maybe do it like you."

"Go ahead." the filly said, an honest smile appearing on her face. She liked the change in Sirius. "Now, lemme show you that math stuff we do..."

The two spend the next hour doing the homework together. Sirius felt rather well — it reminded him of his earlier life, especially when he was in his early teens. It reminded of his time with her. Doing homework was one of the things she and he did together. The serene process of solving equations and problems calmed him greatly, resting his mind and helping him gain focus on important things. He pushed dark thoughts to the back of his mind.

Maybe she could become his friend.

***

Right on time, Sirius arrived along with Iclyn. The fencing club was situated in the sports hall where it occupied almost the whole second part of the day.

"Greeting, butt-kicker Sirius!" Pride Fight greeted the former human. "You really showed those maggots hard time! Also, thanks for the help — I was searching for a reason to discharge the security guard. He never did anything besides having tea parties with himself." he finally noticed Iclyn by Sirius' side. "Oh, hello there! Are you here to join the club, miss?"

"No, I was just showing him the way." the filly said. "I can go if you want..."

"I suppose you could stay and watch the stallions fight." Pride suggested. "You know, maybe they would fight for your honor in the future, who knows?" he winked.

"Well, alright..." Iclyn blushed, and then went to the nearest bench. She would watch from there.

"Now, back to you, son." the old stallion returned to Sirius. "Say, how much experience do you have?"

"Years of using l... long... uh, longswords." Sirius replied.

"So, you claim you're advanced?"

"Yes."

"Alright, let's put that to a test." Pride said, and then turned to other stallions in the room. All of them were larger and more muscular than Sirius. There were three unicorns, two pegasi, and three earth ponies. They were all looking at the newcomer. "Hey, Bladeluck, come here!"

A unicorn stallion approached the two. He greeted with a nod and extended a hoof to Sirius. The former human bumped it with his own hoof and nodded in return.

"Bladeluck is one of the advanced, though he's been training with the longsword for a couple of months." Pride explained. "Let's see how good you are, Sirius. Bladeluck here is aiming at becoming a royal guard."

Sirius nodded, and then was led by Pride to the fencing area. It was separated from the rest of the sports hall by a wooden fence. The old stallion handed him a steel longsword. The former human weighed it in his magical grasp. The balance was where he expected it to be, the weight seemed to be within acceptable.

"Here it is, finest steel for finest warriors." Pride said. "Don't worry, they're enchanted not to hurt. So, here's the deal — each of you has one point. That is, one hit and it's over. Sirius, the weapon will sound when you hit him with enough force for the blow to matter.

"So, take your positions. They're marked on the floor."

Sirius did as told, taking his position. He carefully observed Bladeluck. The stallion seemed relaxed, but Sirius expected it to be a trap. Many duelists did it in order to lure their foes into believing that they didn't take the fight seriously. The former human knew how to act in such situations.

"Ready?" Pride asked, standing aside.

Sirius did his version of salute — he raised the weapon, pointing it at the ceiling, then placed it horizontally on his eye level, parallel to the ground, pointing at the enemy, and then set it slightly to the side, pointing down. It was his universal salute — a show of respect towards his adversary.

Sirius prepared for the duel. Subconsciously, his body took the right stance that resembled what he used as a human. His magic that held the sword was shaped like two hands gripping the handle. Pride noticed it but didn't say anything.

"Fight!"

As soon as the word was said, Sirius' foe began to move forward,

The colt observed carefully while standing still. Bladeluck moved lightly, his legs slightly bent, and yet there was power behind his steps. His stance was one that was commonly used: the sword was raised, the angle between the blade and the floor was about twenty degrees, the tip was aiming upwards. It was the standard stance that all novices were taught during their first days of training.

"C'mon, Bladeluck, show him what you've got!" someone yelled.

Sirius changed his stance, placing his sword at about his head level, the tip of the blade pointing at the legs of his adversary. It was a universal defense position — it protected two-thirds of him without having to move the sword anywhere, and only a slight downwards movement would protect his legs. Without having actual hands, such a defensive stance was near impenetrable.

Bladeluck struck first, going with a simple thrust into the center of the mass, as in the body of the colt. Sirius jumped back, avoiding it. The stallion became bolder, deciding to swing from one side to another in one swift motion while going forward. Sirius successfully parried the blow and swung his own sword at the adversary, testing the defense. Bladeluck blocked the hit, absorbing its energy with his sword.

Sirius noticed something very important. The speed with which the stallion moved his sword was rather low, at least for Sirius. He could use it to his advantage.

Swiftly, Sirius swung his sword twice, prodding the defense of the opponent. There was indeed a noticeable delay and slowness with which Bladeluck worked.

Sirius went fully aggressive, landing a blow after blow, forcing the stallion to back down. Though, even with higher speed, the former human couldn't touch Bladeluck, though he did come close to it a couple of times. The stallion couldn't retaliate because he was too slow — no counterattack was possible, especially when considering just how randomly Sirius seemed to strike.

Not stopping, Sirius did something completely unexpected by anyone, including Pride Fight. Grabbing the sword by the blade, the former human performed a mordhau — a quick strike with the crossguard, using it as a pick. Bladeluck raised his sword, but the momentum that Sirius' one gained crashed through the block, and the crossguard hammered onto his head. Thankfully, it bounced off with a loud sound.

*DING!*

Sirius scored a hit.

"Merry mother of fruit baskets!" Pride exclaimed. "I've not seen anything like that except in the old manuals! Boo-ya, Sirius, you amazed me!"

Sirius lowered his sword and went to the old stallion.

"Thunder-strike... Huh, son, you know some moves." Pride praised the colt. "You should definitely take part in the nearest tournament. I can feel you'll be among the winners. You're real good, son — you can be the best. Congratulations — you are accepted into our club with praise and honor!"

Sirius nodded, handing the sword to Pride.

"Keep it. You deserve it." the old stallion said. "You know, you can even carry it around sharpened. And it is sharpened — it is a gift from the Royal Guard to us. So, now it is yours. We will help you maintain it, don't worry."

Sirius was actually quite happy with the outcome. The regular training routine was the only one he liked and looked forward to. And tournaments! A smile crept onto his lips.

Maybe the day wasn't so bad after all.

Author's Notes:

I can say that Sirius is quite an accomplished swordsman. While he has a lot of problems, he still has something positive about him.

I suppose I could list the symptoms of different mental issues that Sirius has as of now. They could give you spoilers if you know how they connect. Symptoms: mood swings, aggression, insomnia, sociophobia, fear of relationship, self-blame, constant sadness, feeling of being worthless, loss of motivation to live, suicide attempt. If you want you may try to guess what problem or problems he faced in his previous life.

Also, I'm adding AU tag. The world of Equestria would be described slightly different from the show, in almost the same way I described it in my other stories. I suppose I should stay consistent in my works and let one flow into another like if they took place in the same universe. However, nothing too major will change. Maybe the order of the events or how they happened exactly. You won't be confused, I'm sure about it.

Chapter 16: After Training

The fencing training started with a simple warmup. Since Sirius was already warmed up quite a lot after the recent duel, he decided to stretch his body. It was already pretty stretchable, but there were horizons he could reach.

Then, came the hoof-work. Training it would make anyone faster and more agile, not to mention more stable in the fight. While the posture didn't have as much importance as it did with humans, it was still mandatory to learn. A correct posture would turn a pony into a spring that would be able to move in all directions without hindrance or any problems at all.

Sirius knew it too well since he's been training for a long time. While he lacked endurance or strength in his body, he made up for it with his skill, which was unparalleled by anyone except the trainer himself.

At the second half of the training, Sirius was tasked with teaching the novices how to block efficiently. There were three sectors of attack: upper, middle, and lower. Head, body, and legs correspondingly. So, the former human taught the novices how to efficiently not only block but parry the attacks. Placing the sword in right position would allow it to deflect the blows with ease. If one angled the blade the right way, their opponent's one would slide off of it, not conducting energy to the sword, making retaliation quite easy.

And while the novices said they understood it, their defense wasn't very good.

"It's just not fair!" one of them complained aloud, missing one of Sirius' trick swings — he would fool his adversaries by swinging one way, only to attack from another direction. It was simple and yet very effective.

"Fights never fair." Sirius replied. "Everypony wants to win. They won't go easy on you if you are new to swordplay."

"You don't even use patterns for attacks!"

"Patterns are for fools." the former human replied. "Good attacks are not predictable. Learn how to defend against them."

"But when will we get to attack?"

"Defense is much important." Sirius explained. "Anyone can swing sword. You need come out of duel alive and not hurt. Swordplay isn't blindly attacking hoping to get the opponent. You need to get them and not be hurt by them, too. Learn defense, and it will help you good. But if you want to strike, try... counterattacks. They should work if you do right."

The novices weren't too bad, but Sirius' defense couldn't be penetrated by them. He effectively deflected their blows while simultaneously hitting them without much struggle. Though, he had no pride in it — any swordsman even with two months of training could beat novices and unarmed civilians easily. What brought challenge is another swordsman.

Near the end of the training, a small tournament was done. It consisted of duels between everyone. In the end, Sirius and Pride Fight came out with the highest results. They fought fiercely, but the old stallion had good defense while the former human had superior agility and speed. They decided to end it with a draw — no blows were landed.

Overall, the training was fairly productive for Sirius. He learned how ponies fought without magical assistance. While pegasi and earth ponies were at a disadvantage of shortened reach, pegasi were highly mobile and had superior endurance, and the earth ponies were pretty strong, able to crash through blocks with appropriate anti-armor or other heavy weaponry used.

Sirius finally went to the apartment to rest, accompanied by Iclyn. His body was pleasantly numb from all the stress he had put it under. He knew that it might hurt in the morning but he didn't care. In such situations, pain meant progress.

"You're really good at that sword stuff, Sirius." Iclyn told him. "Where did you learn it?"

"Mostly by myself." the former human replied. "But I had to train with other to practice skills. Theory is not thing without practice."

"And why did you decide to start?"

"It's fun and keeps in fo— uh... shape." Sirius replied. It wasn't too far from truth — swordplay was truly enjoyable for him. It was one of very few things he actually liked to do. Knowing how to beat people up with sharp sticks was a nice bonus. Besides, it helped him develop agility, speed, strength, perception, and reaction time to danger, and all of them greatly helped him in his times of need. He could rely on his training to keep him safe during most situations.

"Sounds good to me. Though, I prefer flight." Iclyn said, smiling slightly. "You know what? Let's go grab a snack."

"Wait me there. I need pick up plates I borrowed and return them." Sirius said. "Also, need place the sword somewhere."

"Alright, I'll search for a place for us to sit." the pegasus said, and the two parted ways.

Iclyn was pretty happy with the outcome. Sirius became less hostile to her and far more talkative. It seemed swordplay had done him good. Though, he still seemed a bit off to the filly. However, she could quite place it — she didn't know him well enough yet.

However, she was sure the two could become friends after a while. She just needed to try harder and show Sirius a good time.

The new colt didn't seem that bad overall. Sure, he had some problems, but it didn't seem he wanted to hurt anyone he saw. Everyone he had hurt on that day were bullies. The most he had done to Iclyn was pushing her against the ground after she stalked him. It was entirely her fault, she understood.

She remembered she wanted to apologize for it. Since Sirius wasn't too far away yet, she caught up with him fairly quickly.

"Hey," she said, gaining his attention. "Sirius... I want to say something to you."

He looked at her questioningly.

"I..." it was actually hard for her to apologize. Though, she needed to do it. "I'm sorry for what happened during the night."

Sirius stood silently, staring at her emotionlessly. Then, he turned around and left in haste.

"...Did I do something wrong?" Iclyn asked herself, her ears folding. She was confused by his reaction. Maybe she shouldn't have apologized? Maybe the apology wasn't enough? Maybe he just didn't want to hear about it?

Sirius didn't go away because she did anything wrong. In fact, she did right, and he was shocked by it.

He considered the accident to be so minor he wouldn't care whether she apologized for it or not. However, she did. He didn't expect her to say sorry for such a small thing. His trust in her rose significantly, seeing that she didn't see it below herself to apologize for small accidents.

He knew he overreacted when a couple tears of joy rolled down his cheeks. He couldn't control it. She apologized!

He kept repeating it in his mind as he trotted to the apartment. He tried to keep his emotions down but couldn't, and found himself smiling slightly.

He couldn't help himself, he was completely under the feeling of sudden happiness.

At least he felt good. He liked feeling good. If there was a chance to feel good, he would take it.

He shook his head. He needed to rearrange his thoughts into a pattern.

***

Soon, Sirius joined Iclyn in the cafeteria. The filly watched him as he grabbed a lot of food, and then walked up to the table and took a place near her. He looked at her apologetically.

"Iclyn, I'm sorry for my... um... my..." he tried to find the necessary word. He still needed to improve his vocabulary.

"Reaction?" the filly suggested.

"Oh, yes. I'm sorry for my reaction." Sirius said awkwardly and yet sincerely. He rarely apologized, and when he did — it always came out bad, and yet honestly. "I don't... didn't mean you did bad."

"Alright... Let's eat?" Iclyn suggested, breaking the awkward moment.

Sirius had a big load of food to eat, and started to devour it pretty quickly. Since it was the first time Iclyn saw him eating, she was surprised to see the speed with which the colt was eating his food. It looked like he was starving and was desperate to grab as much as he possibly could because he feared his food might be taken away.

However, she decided not to comment on it and let him be. It wasn't too important anyway, at least to her.

As for Sirius, he enjoyed stuffing his stomach. Not only did it help with his hunger, it also made him feel good.

He looked around from time to time and noticed that many ponies warily glanced at him occasionally. It didn't bother him too much — they better fear him than see him as weak. Eventually, they would stop. Besides, the fear would make them afraid to approach him with any intention, and he was fine with it. He would be pretty comfortable only having Iclyn around. He had to live with her, after all. Developing a somewhat friendly relationship would be very beneficial for him. And if he wanted, he could make her life hell. He could make her suffer so much she would want to end her own life. His own experience on the receiving side could 'help' him a lot in such a terrible situation.

He didn't want it, however. But he would reserve the option for a special occasion. He hoped it wouldn't happen. In truth, he wanted to hurt only those who deserved it, and so far she wasn't hostile or aggressive to him in any way. Hurting her would serve no purpose but getting sick pleasure. And he rarely derived pleasure from hurting people. It was a necessity he had to do to survive, nothing more.

He discovered that even the food didn't divert his attention from his inner problems and issues. His mind become less and less stable with each passing moment. He couldn't stop thinking about depressing things, they plagued his mind constantly. He needed his favorite sport to keep him alive. Knowing that the trainings happened each day, he would take part in all of them. It was the best choice for his sanity. He didn't want to fully lose himself. He had to keep himself together.

He sighed silently. Maybe he would be able to get help in time. If Iclyn proved herself trustworthy, he would have a chance to get what he wanted, to finally have a release of sorts. If he couldn't die, he could find someone that would maybe understand him and help him find joy in life again.

However, those thoughts were the deepest, hidden beneath so many others. He would never admit what he thought. He merely wanted to get to know Iclyn to see if they could coexist peacefully, nothing more. Anything else would be a waste of time and effort. At least he made himself think so.

His body shivered, his heart sunk. He knew he was lying to himself, but he forced the feeling to fade away. There was no way he would allow such thoughts to overcome his mind. He had a clear goal in mind, and even as much as making a step to the side wouldn't be good for him. He still needed to find a way to permanently end himself. Friends die, loved ones perish, he couldn't care less about making many friends or finding one true love. Besides, he would never like ponies that way. They didn't appeal to him.

"Sirius?" Iclyn called him.

"Huh?" the former human turned to her, his line of thought ending.

"You've been staring at the table for quite some time already." the filly said. "Everything's alright?"

"I've been... What? St... starring?" he asked in confusion, mispronouncing the word. He didn't know what it meant yet yet.

"Looking at one place without moving." Iclyn explained.

"Ah... I'm sorry, I... was thinking." Sirius replied in understanding.

"No problem, we all think about things from time to time." the filly smiled slightly. The former human barely contained a frown. She had no idea what kind of thoughts were in his head. "Alright, I suppose we can go as soon as you finish with what you have left."

The former human nodded, and proceeded to eat the rest of the food. Soon, he was ready to go. He needed to finish some homework and then rest to replenish his strength.

Maybe everything wasn't that bad after all. At least it wasn't the worst thing that could've happened to him.

He was happy it wasn't.

Author's Notes:

Sometimes, when everything is so bad you want to end it once and for all, small things make you happy. It is what happens to Sirius.

If he doesn't get help soon, something bad will happen. The question is, how much time will it take for him to open the flood gates of his mind and let his darkest thoughts control him completely?

Only the time can tell.

Chapter 17: Sleep

Deep in the night, Sirius was lying on his bed trying to fall asleep. Once again, he couldn't. Different thoughts buzzed inside his mind, keeping him awake. He rolled from side to side, trying to find a comfortable position on the bed. However, there was nothing suitable for him. Everything seemed somewhat uncomfortable, the temperature was not comfortable, even the air seemed stale.

He sighed, and then got up. He needed to go for a walk to clear his mind and breathe some nightly air. He thought it would help him.

Soon, he exited hostel and started walking around the city of Canterlot. He breathed deeply, enjoying the feeling of fresh air entering his lungs. The night was peaceful, the moon was glowing, stars and their patterns added to the beauty of the nighttime. There wasn't anyone around, too. Sirius didn't worry about it — he would hear if someone approached him.

Slowly, he made his way through the empty and dimly-lit streets of the sleeping city. Even the guards were nowhere to be seen. It didn't raise any alarm inside Sirius' head, but he still was cautious and wary about his surroundings. However, there was no one besides him out on the streets. He was completely alone, all by himself. He was glad it was like that.

He hated being in the crowds. There were too many directions from which he could be jumped. And crowds... they would rather stare at the accident than help the victim. Maybe pull out phones and start recording so that they could upload it to the internet later. He was simply worried about his safety, that's all. It was on the edge between cautiousness and paranoia, but Sirius didn't care if people thought he had the latter. Better safe than sorry. Being aware of surroundings always helped him escape various dangerous situations and people he didn't want to encounter.

Suddenly for the former human, he found himself at the edge of the city. He knew it was situated at the side of the mountain, but only at the moment did he see its actual edge. The view was beyond breathtaking: the land of Equestria lying down below, overseen by the grand capital city. Sirius could see the very distant lights of different cities from his spot, and it was a sight he'd never seen before.

He walked to the edge. It wasn't even obstructed with anything, be it a simple fence or wall. The edge was just there, anyone could access it if they wanted.

He looked down. If someone were to fall, it would take quite some time to reach the foot of the mountain, and it would certainly be deadly if someone fell.

Death.

Only a few steps separated Sirius from death. Move a little forward, then fall, and then you're dead. There were no chances of survival. The body would become completely mangled as it smashed against the rocks, splattering insides around, replacing the gray of the rocks and green of the flora with crimson of blood.

Sirius stepped closer. He sighed shakily. It was his chance to end it once and for all. His body would be broken into pieces, and they wouldn't be sewn together. Maybe it was the reason he transformed into a pony? His body had but a simple and small hole in the chest. What if he broke his body completely? What if he destroyed the brain? What if there was nothing to contain him, nothing to use to transform?

Maybe it would allow him to die. There was only one way to find out.

His heart was pounding heavily inside his chest, his breath shaky, sweat rolled down his face as he continued staring at the foot of the mountain. Cool winds brushed against his coat, making him shiver.

He had nothing. Iclyn, all other ponies, they would move on. It was unlikely his body would be found. If so, he would be declared missing. Others would assume he ran away somewhere. He had no one to return to.

The only belongings he had were some personal hygiene things, the longsword, and the red leaf. Nothing to attach himself to.

Only one step away. Only a few centimeters. It was there, his chance to end it all. Stop everything.

He raised his hoof, but still hesitated. His whole body was shaking with adrenaline coursing through his blood system.

It was right there — loss of everything. Mind, body, memories, pain, and everything he had been through. Warm and comfortable void of nothing, blanket of black silk, veil of death's embrace. It called to him, and he longed it more than anything else.

His mouth opened and closed. The eternal prize was right before him. He just needed to take but a step. Tilt his body forward and let it go. It was simple.

It would be much simpler than to determine whether Iclyn could be trusted or not. He wouldn't have to tell her anything. He wouldn't need to tell anyone anything. There would be no need for gaining knowledge about ponies. Why would he care if he was dead?

And yet, he hesitated. Maybe there was something in this new world? Maybe there was a purpose? Otherwise, why would he be transformed into a pony, why would he appear there? There should be purpose. There must be.

He stepped back and placed his lifted hoof on the ground. He sighed. No, he wasn't going to end everything there and then. The new world had opportunities. Equestria had opportunities. His... new life had opportunities. All he needed to do was to learn what they were and then use them.

Maybe he could find another release. Maybe something could heal him.

Perhaps, he should've trusted Luna.

...

No, he mustn't trust her. Leaders are not to be trusted. If he spilled out everything, he would be forcibly medicated, sedated, and put into a mental hospital. Medicine couldn't help him in the past, it wouldn't help him then.

What he needed was a person. Someone close who could be trusted. Someone... special.

But finding that special someone would be difficult. At the surface, most people seemed kind and caring, only to turn into angry snakes later. Sirius must be careful to evade such people at all cost. They would allow his darkest secrets, what little of hopes and dreams he still had, his deepest desires to be spread. No, those things belonged only to him and him alone. If he were to ever trust them to anyone, it would be one person only, and then one he knew well to expect them to keep the secrets.

Sirius looked at the night sky, sadness in his eyes. If only he could find such a person...

Finally, Sirius managed to fall asleep. The veil of dreams encompassed him, and a peculiar dream was conjured from the depths of his mind. As it started, the colt smiled in his sleep.

He was sitting in his old room, playing with small toys. He was happy, as any child would be while playing with toys. He used his hands to pick them up, rotate, and then place them somewhere else. It was fun to him.

Then, he heard his mother calling him. She stood at the doorway of the room, looking at her son.

She was a beautiful woman: while not being tall, she was pretty fit for her age. She had slightly pale white skin, long blonde hair, and a pair of dark-green eyes, which radiated love towards her son. Her expression was soft, her posture relaxed.

"The bath is ready." she said.

"Alright, mom! Thank you!" the boy said cheerfully, standing up from the floor. He quickly collected his toys and put them in a box, which he then proceeded to place under his bed. He knew his mother wouldn't be happy if he left them lying around.

After the floor was cleared of toys, he exited the room and went to the bathroom.

"Don't forget to wash your hair!" the mother reminded him.

"Okay!" the boy responded, and then entered the bathroom. It was rather small, but he was alright with it. There was a bathtub filled with warm water, and sink with a mirror right above it.

He locked the door behind him and proceeded to take off his clothes. Once the deal was done, he prepared to get into the bathtub. He turned to it, and froze.

The water of the bathtub was still, and yet couldn't be seen through. But it wasn't the main concern — there was a half-rotten hand sticking upwards from the water.

The boy couldn't scream as he froze in fear, looking at the hand in shock and horror.

Slowly, the hand slowly sunk. As it disappeared completely, a head emerged. It was half-rotten as well: its top was devoid of skin, exposing the blood vessels and the white of the skull. One of the eyes was popped, oozing yellow, stinky liquid. The second eye was white, staring at the boy. The tip of the nose and its right side were missing, exposing the flesh. Cheeks were torn, the edges of the wounds ragged and jagged. The lower lip and half of the chin were missing as well, and the exposed tongue hanged from the hole in the bottom of the lower jaw.

Quickly, the head disappeared.

The boy sighed shakily. His senses returned to him. He quickly turned around and started unlocking the door. However, the lock was jammed, preventing him from escaping.

"Mom!" he screamed, pounding on the door,

"Everything's alright, honey?" hhis mother's worried and muffled voice came from behind the door.

"Please, help me!" the boy cried, tears streaming down his face.

"I'm coming!" his mother replied, and hurried steps could be heard.

Something made the boy turn around and face the bathtub. He screamed as he saw another hand emerging from the depths of the water. The water started turning black. The hand was even more rotten, exposing bone. Its fingertips were elongated, and much more pointed, perfect for thrusting and deadly stabbing.

The hand moved to the edge of the bathtub. Once it reached it, it grasped it firmly. Another hand appeared, and grasped onto the bathtub as well.

"Mom! Mom, please, help me! Mom!" the boy shouted, using his leg to kick the door. But it didn't open. His mother hadn't reached him yet either.

A rotten body emerged, many of its wounds oozing black and yellow liquids. The same head from before topped the body. Muscle and bone exposed, arms and legs bent in an unnatural way, there was nothing natural about the nightmarish being. Soon, the monstrosity emerged completely, parts of its skin dropping from its rotting body.

"MOOOM, PLEASE!" the boy shouted at the top of his lungs.

The door opened behind him he quickly turned around to embrace his mother.

It wasn't his mother. It was another rotten, living corpse. It outstretched its broken arms and put them around the boy.

Sirius woke up with a glass-shattering scream, and thrashed about on the bed, hitting someone in the process

"Sirius, stop!" he heard a voice. He continued thrashing, wildly flailing his limbs. Soon, he ran out of energy and collapsed, gasping for air, tears streaming down his face.

"Sirius?" he heard that voice again. He turned his head and saw Iclyn. She was holding onto her muzzle, blood streaming from her nostrils. "You... you were crying in your sleep, and I... I tried to wake you up."

He stared at her for a long while, unnerving her to the core. She found out he had nightmares in which he cried. She could use it against him. She could tell others about it.

Sirius jumped onto his hooves and used his magic to grasp around her neck tightly, pushing her against the wall. He squeezed, but not too much to choke her or break her neck. His whole body shook, still filled with adrenaline he gained from the nightmare.

Iclyn's eyes widened as she desperately tried to free herself from the deadly grasp. But she was pinned against the wall, completely helpless to the magic of the colt.

"You will not tell anyone." Sirius said with open hostility towards the filly, baring his teeth slightly.

"Sirius—" Iclyn tried to say, but Sirius used his magic to pull her, and then slammed her against the wall, returning her to her place.

"You will not." he repeated, looking her in the eyes. They expressed fear, horror, and... sadness? Sirius wasn't sure. He didn't care, either.

"I won't!" Iclyn wheezed out. "I swear!"

Finally, Sirius released her. She fell to the ground, gasped, and then coughed. She could still feel the grip on her neck even after it was gone. She rubbed the sore spot on the neck where his magic was, and then looked up at him.

Sirius inhaled deeply, and then exhaled, the last bits of the nightmare losing their grip on his mind. Swiftly, he turned to the bathroom and went there.

Locking the door behind him, he approached the sink. He turned on the water, and then looked at his mirror image.

His pupils were very small, there were dark circles around his eyes, and they were red. There were also drying tear trails under his eyes. Overall, he looked horrible.

He splashed some water onto his face, and then sighed. He looked at himself again. A bit better, but not enough.

He stared at himself for some time, coming back to his senses and calming down.

He didn't want to hurt Iclyn. He did it on instinct. She did nothing wrong, she didn't know she shouldn't have seen it.

His impulsive decision wasn't the best one for sure. It did nothing but antagonize her, and he didn't want his roommate to hate him. He didn't mean it.

He must apologize.

Turning off the water, he proceeded to return to the room. Iclyn was sitting near the wall, her eyes closed, her breath calm. There were blood running down her muzzle from the nostrils. Sirius frowned, understanding that he did wrong.

"Iclyn?" he called her as softly as he could. The filly turned her head to him, fear in her eyes. "I... I'm sorry." he hung his head in shame. He was truly sorry for his actions. "I... I didn't mean it. M-May I help you with, um, that?" he pointed at the blood.

"..." Iclyn was silent for a few moments. She was certain the apology was honest and Sirius didn't hurt her on purpose. "I'm fine. It'll stop eventually."

"Sorry..." Sirius said. "But... keep it secret, alright? Please?" sadness showed in his eyes. Subconsciously, he realized that he shouldn't push her away. She was but a teenager, and she hadn't hurt him even once. She didn't deserve what he had done to her.

"I will." Iclyn nodded.

Sirius sighed. At least one good thing emerged from the terrible situation he had found himself in.

Author's Notes:

I guess some of you might ask the following question: "What the hell, how could Iclyn forgive Sirius after that?"

A valid question.

First of all, I believe ponies would be more forgiving in every situation. The level of forgiveness, of course, depends on the person.

Second, she woke him up from a nightmare, and anyone can be pretty jumpy after it. She understood it, and that's why she forgave him.

I hope it clears up any and all confusion.

Chapter 18: Defense

It was an hour and a half before the school started. Sirius was lying on his bed, learning new words from the dictionary. His roommate Iclyn was preparing herself for the day, brushing her wavy mane.

The bleeding from her muzzle stopped, and yet she could still taste and smell some of the blood. It was faint, but it was there, reminding her of the events she didn't want to remember.

It wasn't too horrible at the first glance. But under the surface, there was something deeper, something scarier. The filly recalled the night's events.

Iclyn woke up in the night due to hearing Sirius mumbling something in his sleep. At first, she discarded it and tried to go back to sleep. But then, she heard his voice rising and rising, and she could hear fear in it. He was calling someone, someone who could help him. Iclyn saw tears running down his face as he desperately called out for help. His body shook as he sobbed in his sleep.

She did her best to comfort him, and woke him up. And then, she heard the most terrifying scream in her entire life. It was filled with despair, pain, and terror. There was nothing that could be even close to it.

She remembered his eyes. They were full of pain and fear. Stuttering, she exlained what she did, nursing her bleeding muzzle. And then, there was anger and hostility in his voice as he choked her, forcing her to swear she would reveal nothing about that night. However, neither anger nor hostility showed in his eyes. In truth, it was painful for him to hurt her, she could see it.

He let her go. As he disappeared into the bathtub, Iclyn closed her eyes, rearranging her thoughts and calming down as the last bits of adrenaline subsided.

Her muzzle ached from the powerful hit Sirius had delivered while thrashing about on his bed. She wheezed, still feeling the grip of his magic on her fragile neck. Just a simple twist could end her there and then. She tried not to think of it much.

But he didn't kill her. Instead, he apologized, and his apology was sincere and honest, she felt it. It was very awkward for him as well, but he was truly shameful of his aggressive actions towards her.

After all those events, Iclyn thought about just what could be hiding behind his expressionless mask. What lied deep within him? It was only the second day she knew him, but she could already tell something about him wasn't right. It became completely obvious to her after that night.

He was unlike any other colts she has ever met. No, he was much different from them. While most colts thought and talked about fillies or any other not very serious things any healthy colts talked about during teens, Sirius was a closed book with a cover unlike any.

He didn't seem to care about anything at all besides protecting himself. True, he didn't slack during the lessons as a lot of foals did, but it didn't mean he cared about those lessons. Though, Iclyn couldn't say anything about how Magic lesson went for him.

He also fought bullies, and fought them aggressively, in a way not many students would dare. It was everything strangers could see about him with their own eyes. In fact, there were already rumors about Sirius, but they always appear when a new students enters the school.

There was nothing about him that stood out too much in terms of appearance, at least on the surface. At the first glance, he was just another colt. Slightly above average looks, some barely noticeable scars here and there, but even the latter was common with colts, especially the daring ones. Though, on closer inspection, it could be clearly seen that Sirius wasn't healthy — his body was very thin, and not in a good way. It didn't end there: there were dark circles around his sunken eyes, and those purplish eyes bore a heavy gaze, one that wouldn't, couldn't belong to just any colt.

Iclyn was his roommate, and she could see slightly deeper into him. She caught him during his most vulnerable and emotional time — asleep and after a nightmare. He was absolutely defenseless and couldn't control his dreams or what he did during them. It opened up a side of him he wouldn't otherwise reveal. His more sensitive and emotional side. He wasn't always aggressive, she could see it clearly. That aggression and violence was just an inner mechanism of self-defense he adopted.

Iclyn hadn't experienced nightmares ever since she was a little filly. In truth, she knew that teenagers rarely dreamed bad dreams, princess Luna made certain of it. Could the princess not help Sirius, then? But perhaps it wasn't her fault. Maybe he pushed her away?

There was no clear answer yet, but it could be so. Iclyn remembered the letter the nightly princess had sent her a few days ago. The filly figured out it was a hidden warning. It warned Iclyn of how difficult Sirius would be to understand and live with.

It all made sense to the filly. She wasn't stupid to ignore the logical chain presented right in front of her eyes.

It was apparent that princess Luna tried to help Sirius but failed. Iclyn thought about it, and decided to see what she could do to help him. She saw something in him: mostly pain and constant sadness. He had suffered something very destructive that left him empty and yet very angry and perhaps even hateful. He desperately tried to disguise it under something else, but his emotions kept showing up, telling others what he truly felt inside. He was at the edge of something even more horrible.

Iclyn sighed heavily and yet silently, making sure Sirius wouldn't hear it. Everything was so difficult and strange with that colt...

Meanwhile, in the Lunar Wing of the Canterlot Castle.

Princess Luna was wide awake, trotting nervously around her bedchambers. She looked bad: her eyes were red and there were dark bags underneath them, telling of her tiredness. Even her ethereal mane was unkempt and wild, its flow gone, replaced with a dull shade of blue.

She yawned heavily. That night was one of the worst she's ever had the displeasure of experiencing.

Luna was there when Sirius had his horrible nightmare. She stood by the door to his mind, listening. At first, everything was peaceful. While she couldn't understand the words, she could hear happiness, she felt it. She managed to recognize Sirius' younger voice. He sounded cheerful. There was another person in the dream, Luna assumed it was his mother. Both radiated happiness.

However, there was a sense of imminent danger lurking just around the corner. Luna felt it, and it unsettled her, made her cautious and wary. Would the door open before her or attack her? The dangers of the unknown lied behind it. There could be anything.

Then, she smelled something in the air. It was a mix of blood, urine, rot, and pus. She gagged, trying not to throw up. It was especially difficult with the fact that dreams enhanced the perception of all things presented in them.

She felt as sticky fear encompassed her and Sirius. His voice became more fearful with each passing second. Luna could do nothing but stand and listen how a pleasant dream turned into a nightmare. His voice rose and rose until it turned into a desperate cry for help. A few moments later, the door to his mind disappeared, meaning he woke up. The events left Luna empty and fatigued.

The alicorn of night blamed herself for not being able to help him in any way. However, if she did try to enter, she would probably cause a painful physical reaction from him in the waking world. Perhaps, she could've made the nightmare worse just as easily. She wanted neither and decided not to intervene, but it made her feel horrible inside. Ever since she met the colt for the first time, she wanted to help him, to make him feel better. And yet, she was unable to do it. It was completely out of her control. It was utter defeat, one she hadn't suffered in ages before that moment.

She sat down and sighed. She hoped his roommate would have a better luck with it.

As the two ponies prepared to go to school, Iclyn noticed that Sirius decided to take the sword with him. Gladly, it came with a sheath that he could strap to his body so that the sword could be safely carried on his side.

"Um, are you sure you need that?" Iclyn asked him, gesturing at the sword.

"Pride Fight said I can carry it with not problem." Sirius replied. "And I don't want to leave sword here. It should with me at all time."

"But, why?"

"I want so." he looked at her heavily with a hint of challenge. "Is there problem?"

"...No, not really." Iclyn replied after a few moments of consideration. If he wanted to have the sword by his side, so be it. It wasn't like he was going to kill or hurt anyone with it. Well, as long as bullies wouldn't show up. The filly shuddered — she imagined all those hurtful things Sirius could do to them with his sword. They wouldn't be pretty, that's for sure.

As they exited the hostel, they were approached by three familiar stallions. Sirius frowned — they were the bullies that harassed him the day before.

"Here you are, skinny." their leader stepped forward. Sirius noticed that all of them had rather big sticks. Perhaps, they were weapons. "Because of you, now I will have to move back to Manehattan!"

"If you did no bully, you would stay." Sirius replied, readying himself for combat. He saw it as inevitable.

"We do not bully. We simply weed out those who don't deserve to study in Canterlot." the leader retorted. "You unicorns always get everything easily! You're nobody from nowhere, and yet you're here, in one of the best schools!"

"It has not thing to do with... me being unicorn." the former human replied.

"Yeah? Then why are my non-unicorn friends that are better than you not here?" the leader snorted. "You don't even have a talent! This city and its unicorn superiority... And to think that it's the capital of Equestria!"

"What do you want from me?" Sirius cut him short. Frankly, he didn't care about the feelings of the bully at all.

"Well, since all of us would be expelled anyway, we decided to give you what you deserve." the leader pulled out his stick. "You're now without sticks, huh? Whatcha gonna do?"

"Don't hurt him!" Iclyn stepped forward. She feared a violent fight would ensue, one that could end very badly for the bullies. After all, Sirius had a sharpened sword, one she was sure he would use without hesitation.

"Yeah, yeah... get outta here, bitch." another stallion said angrily, moving forward. "Ponies like you allow unicorns to screw us over! He fucks you, doesn't he, huh, slut? That's why you keep this piece of shit around, don't you?"

Iclyn gasped, tears appearing in her eyes. She had never heard such harsh words spoken to her.

"Leave her alone!" Sirius said and prepared to fight. While he didn't like his roommate much yet, he wasn't going to let bullies get away with such a serious insult. Even if he didn't understand it completely, he knew it was very offensive, judging by the tearful reaction of the filly.

"You're going down!" one of the bullies yelled, and then charged forward.

Sirius unsheathed the sword and swung it, successfully breaking the charger's stick in half with little effort, making it seem like the blade cut straight through it.

"Oh crap, run, he has a real sword!" the leader shouted, and soon they disppeared: the two pegasi took off while the earth pony disappeared into alleys of the city.

Sirius surveyed the surroundings, expecting another attack or an ambush. He wasn't sure they left for good.

However, he was wrong — there was no one else in the area.

"And you said me bringing sword was bad." Sirius said, sheathing the sword. "Let's go — school awaits."

He wanted to hurt those bullies so much, but he saw some reason behind their actions and words. Though, teenage maximalism spoke inside them, overshadowing any sense of logic.

This event solidified his belief that he needed to carry his weapon at all times. As much as he wanted to believe everything was peaceful, he was being proven otherwise each day. He wanted to be sure no one would attack him for any reason. But if they did, he would make sure they wouldn't walk away unscathed. He was no pushover to allow others to hurt him. He had already suffered much pain, and he surely wasn't looking for more.

***

During the two history classes, Sirius was extremely bored. While the teacher did his best to explain different events and how they influenced Equestria, the former human wasn't interested in history too much. Though, he liked it — there weren't big wars ever since Celestia and Luna took the throne. Though, after the banishment of the princess of the night, Griffin Empire saw it as an opportunity to expand their lands. Thus, they tried to conquer Equestria, but failed. Ever since their defeat, there wasn't any war at all. Some discoveries were made, things invented, and that was it.

At least that was what Sirius learned during history classes while not really paying much attention. However, he surely got attention from students — his sword wasn't exactly unnoticeable. Rumors were in the air about Sirius enlisting to the Royal Guard. But nobody approached him or talked to him about it — the fear was strong. The former human didn't care — less questions, less annoyances to deal with. He just wanted to finish the school for the day and then go to the training. It was the only thing he was looking forward to.

As the bell rang, Sirius decided to grab a snack at the cafeteria. He remembered seeing hay fries, some kind of chips, and a lot of different rolls and buns. As he entered the cafeteria, one of the teachers called him.

"Colt, you can't carry this around." she said, gesturing at the sword. "It's not Royal Guard training facility."

"Pride Fight allowed me." Sirius replied.

"I disallow you."

"Why?"

"Are you arguing with a teacher?" the mare looked closely at him.

"Is it a crime now?" Sirius raised a brow. He hated those kind of teachers who couldn't explain anything and just used their 'superiority' just by being older and working as a teacher. To him, neither meant anything.

"Well..."

"Miss Flower, let me solve this problem." Pride Fight said, coming from the teacher's section of the cafeteria. "He's smart enough to know how to handle a sword."

"But then those colts place their oiled blades on the tables, and our janitors have to scrub it for hours." the teacher complained.

"I'm certain he has enough brains not to unsheathe a weapon unless a danger is present. Right, Sirius?"

The colt nodded. He knew how swords must and mustn't be used. If he wanted to show off, he would buy an elaborate wall-hanger that he would place somewhere and forget about it.

"Alright..." the mare sighed. "But if I see it on a table, I will take action." with a huff, she left.

Sirius shook his head slightly, and then proceeded to grab a couple of buns to chew on. He finished eating them rather quickly, and headed to the Math auditorium.

As he met Iclyn again, the filly went straight to him.

"Um, Sirius." she said. "I never said thanks for, you know, what happened just before the school."

"I was in danger. You could walk away. No thank needed." Sirius replied, passing her. He turned his head to her. "You better learn to fight. I won't be nearby always."

"Yeah, I guess so..." Iclyn sighed. "Mind if I join you after classes? Fencing seems like a nice idea."

Sirius nodded. It certainly wouldn't hurt her if she learned how to use the environment to her advantage. She would also become stronger, faster, and more agile. Indeed, she should learn something of martial arts.

Besides, he could use someone to train with. It would be slightly more fun and productive.

Chapter 19: Aftermath

The classes of Math were uneventful and passed by Sirius almost unnoticeably. He didn't have any trouble solving equations or problems. The math teacher asked him pretty frequently, testing his abilities. As it turned out, Sirius was rather good at math. It also helped him that the math itself and its systems were almost exactly like those he had learned on Earth. Thus, there was barely any difficulty with adjusting to the new system since it was rather familiar and not overly complicated. Overall, his math experience was positive.

After the students exited the school to have their free time, princess Luna discreetly arrived and assembled all teachers that had had a good look at Sirius during his first two days there. The princess needed to know how well Sirius was faring so far.

"I'd say Sirius is a capable colt." the math teacher said. "Not very talkative, but it's understandable — his language is lacking. He has absolutely no problems with the subject I teach as well. The only thing that stands out is the fact that he carries a sword. Well, colts love doing 'stuff' they see as funny. Sirius hasn't even once done anything that would get him into trouble during the class or break, though. In fact, he's quiet, busying himself with a dictionary during the break, and not playing with a sword like it's a toy."

"He's tough son of a— ahem." Pride Fight spoke next. "Well, Sirius is a bit quiet and perhaps too serious for a colt his age, maybe a bit less emotional as well, but I can say he'd make a good guard if he ever applies. Though, he surely needs to get some weight. I've never seen such a skinny colt in my life.

"Also, I'm unsure about his leadership skills, but he has the toughness and, I'd say professionalism. He's capable of defending himself and others — hell, he defeated an advanced student in a duel and can hold on against me! Not to mention that he took on three most athletic stallions in the class and won by being smart and thinking ahead. So, he is indeed a very intelligent colt. Though, I've not seen his fighting style used among ponies... He has a strange way of using his weapon. His magic aura represents a pair of minotaur-like hands holding the grip of the sword. It's pretty interesting, really." he finished with a hoof tapping his own chin.

"Yes, he's indeed a quiet colt, though there is aggression inside him." the Magic teacher Aura Wand said. "It is mildly disturbing, but colts can be aggressive at times. At my subject, he's average, at least yet. It might change."

"Sirius hasn't shown anything during History. I can't say anything about him but, as mentioned by others, he carries a sword." the history teacher said.

"Thank you for the information." Luna said, nodding, a slight frown appearing on her face.

"Your majesty, mind if I ask you something about him?" Aura asked.

"No, not at all. Go on." the princess nodded, interested in what the teacher of Magic had to say.

"Is he... special?"

"...I don't think so. At least not in the meaning you have put in the world 'special'." Luna shook her head. However, she knew he most likely had some mental issues. "However, he is indeed a very interesting person. I can't reveal much, but I want all of you to keep an eye on this colt. Make sure he doesn't get into unnecessary trouble. Also, keep me informed about his behavior, and make sure you know if it changes suddenly."

Every teacher agreed to do what the princess suggested, and the meeting ended.

So, Luna discovered that Sirius was pretty good at hiding his identity. Not counting his emotional slip during the accident at the cafeteria she had been informed earlier about, he was completely closed. Though, only two days had passed — maybe the teachers would notice something else later on.

Luna figured one thing — he learned how to use magic. He was also good at fencing, and not many ponies could say they were as good. Certainly, Sirius took up fencing not for recreational purposes but for practical — self-defense, for example. It made sense to Luna since he was aggressive towards anyone who tried to mess with him in any way. She decided not to do anything about it — Sirius wasn't a murderer and it was doubtful that he would do it. However, he needed to be closely watched — he was still a mystery, one that could be potentially dangerous to those around him.

Luna already knew that Sirius was verbally and physically harassed by local bullies, ones she wasn't aware about before she sent him to the school. She made certain that they wouldn't show up near him again. Sirius was already unstable in mind, and Luna couldn't afford any accidents to happen to him that would mentally disturb him. She figured he had already endured too much in his life.

Sirius lied on his bed, the dictionary in his magical grasp. Between the school and the training, he needed to fill up the space with something. If his mind wasn't busy, he would think about himself and his state, and it never led anywhere good.

However, he found himself unable to concentrate on the book. There was just too much buzz inside his head as his thoughts erratically flew around, disrupting his learning process.

It was the end of the second day of the school. What was he going to do? While it wasn't as bad as he expected, the school still had problems. How long would he need to study there? He realized he was a teenager again. He remembered how such a time had turned him into a hopeless and depressed wreck he was at the moment. Many things had happened to him back then, most of which he didn't want to remember. It was his turning point in life that led to his death, and he hoped it wouldn't repeat. Going through it once was more than enough for him.

If only he had internet, he would be able to play games or read something to spend his time in a more or less entertaining way. However, he had no such luxury.

Sirius groaned, displeased with his state of mind. It was still a bit more than half an hour before his training started, and he needed to get his mind off of things he didn't want to think about. Perhaps, he could talk with Iclyn. At the moment, she was lying on her bed, reading a book. A small talk wouldn't hurt, the former human thought.

"Iclyn?" Sirius called her.

"Yeah?" the filly replied, lowering her book to look at the colt.

"Can you tell more about school?" he asked. "I am still new. Not just to this school, but... uh... edu— educationnel system."

"Well, there's nothing too much interesting about it." Iclyn replied. "Most of us will reach thirteen this year, meaning we would be free to choose a couple of things. After this year, we will have another year of light studying before we would be able to choose whatever we want to do next. Either follow our special marks or stay to study more. Yeah, the next year's gonna be much easier. We'll be preparing for exams and that's pretty much it."

"So, what does thirteen mean?" Sirius asked. "What happens when we reach age?"

"You must be from really far away to not know that." the filly looked at him. "Alright, whatever... Well, we'll be able to marry, get full-time jobs, legally have sex with whomever we want, and some other things I forgot."

Sirius was slightly puzzled by this revelation. It was rather strange to him that such young people—

He paused his line of thought and directed it another way. They weren't people. They were ponies. They were different. He shouldn't project his experience with humans on ponies — the two were completely different species and had nothing in common outside intelligence.

Everything made sense to him. Perhaps, ponies grew up much faster mentally than humans. Besides, Sirius thought ponies were at least sixteen and he was studying at a high school. He never really bothered to ask anything about age. So, it made sense indeed. He wouldn't know the difference if he didn't receive the recent information from his roommate.

But did it mean ponies had a shorter lifespan? If they age faster, shouldn't they live less? Sirius was unsure. Not that it mattered to him — he was sure he wouldn't live long enough to find out the natural way.

"Sirius?" Iclyn addressed him. He realized he had zoned out again.

"Sorry, was thinking." he replied. "Everything is... slightly different where I am from. A-anyway, what do you do after next year?"

"Well, I dunno." the filly replied. "I... um, I haven't really figured it out yet. My special mark makes me good at creating blizzards during the winter and... I suppose I just like snowy weather and doing stuff with it." she shrugged. "Maybe I'll stay to study. Hey, I still have this and the next years to think about it. And you?"

"I? Um..." Sirius didn't know what he would do if he survived that long. "Um..." he looked down. He hadn't thought about it. Whom did he want to become? Then, it hit him — he didn't have a special mark yet. However, he doubted he would get one anyway. "I need to find my talent first." he finally said. He was unsure if he wanted to find it, but it was a better answer than anything else he could make up at the moment.

"Oh, yeah." Iclyn looked at his blank flank. "Well, good luck with it. Some ponies really struggle with searching for their talent, and I hope you'll eventually find yours."

He didn't think so, but he decided against voicing his concerns. What would a mark give him? He could just paint something on his flank and it would work just as fine. However, he didn't plan on doing it — he would be very stupid if he did it simply because others had it. He didn't care — he was fine without having a picture on his backside.

The awkward silence fell upon the two. Sirius didn't know how to keep up the small talk he started, and Iclyn was unsure of what else she could say to him.

"So, Sirius..." Iclyn said slowly. "What about the training? How hard is it?"

"When I train, I got bruises, not thing more." Sirius replied. "It shouldn't be hard. Do you... exercise?"

"A bit. I'm certain I'm more or less fit." the filly replied.

"You'll have no problem. But I not know how pegasi train. Maybe it'll be hard. You can see for youself." he shrugged.

"Okay, I think I'll do fine." Iclyn nodded. "Well, let's go? The training's starting soon, and I want to talk with the trainer before it does."

Sirius nodded, picked up his sword, and then exited the apartment with the filly in tow.

As the participants filed into the sports hall, Sirius was already doing the warmup for the upcoming training, not forgetting to stretch his body, too. He ran a couple of laps to ensure his legs would work perfectly and did a few exercises to make sure he would be ready for combat. Being fast and agile, as well as having good perception and reaction time meant a lot in fighting. Strength played a role in it as well, but not as big. Strength is nothing without the knowledge how to use it, and Sirius knew it well. He had fought many opponents stronger than him and came out a victor. It doesn't matter much how hard you hit — it matters if you know how, where and when to hit.

Iclyn was off to the side, talking with Pride Fight about something. She had a couple of questions about the training routine and the schedule, as well as some questions about the weaponry and safety. As it turned out, the safety was top notch, and available weaponry ranged from simple spears and halberds to elaborate claw-like attachments that could make pegasi formidable opponents that would be able to utilize their ability to fly to their greatest advantage over any other pony tribe.

After Pride Fight finished the discussion with the new filly, he went straight to Sirius.

"You're doing well, son." he said. "I suggest you continue helping me with training others. I don't think I can give you anything but practice."

Sirius nodded while making a split, landing on his belly with his legs perpendicular to his body. The sight once again caught the attention of most club members.

"Alright, then." Pride smiled. "I'll give you some unicorns to train while the filly you brought will be trained by my best pegasus. Is it alright?"

"Why ask?" Sirius replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I thought you two are a couple, and many stallions don't like when their mares spend their time with other stallions." the old stallion explained.

Such straightforwardness surprised Sirius. He didn't even think about it.

"We're not in relationship." he stated firmly. "She is just... acq... acquitance." he specifically chose not to call her a friend. In his opinion, people had begun throwing the term around, making it completely worthless.

"Forgive me for my little intrusion, then." Pride said. "Continue with the warmup."

Sirius nodded, and then proceeded to finish the warmup. He was more or less ready for practice.

There were some training dummies to strike. They were enchanted to be tough and regenerate 'wounds' that appeared on the due to cuttiing, hacking, slashing, or stabbing.

So, the former human began. He switched stances and made strikes from different positions, aiming carefully. While the dummies weren't real, thinking opponents, figuring out how to reach a certain part of body was never bad. With a longsword, it was pretty easy because of its reach and mobility.

Soon, others joined him, practicing with their own dummies. Iclyn was told by Pride Fight to start off with a simple spear as an offensive weapon, paired with a sword for defense. The spear was tied to her side in a specific way while the sword was held im her mouth. First, Pride taught her the right posture: slightly bent legs, straight neck, eyes front. It was simple and yet effective.

The spear used full power the user generated while moving or charging to stab right through the dummy. The spear was placed in a way that would allow the wings to move and the muscles to shift the shaft of the spear in a way that would allow more precise aiming. Slashes were also possible, but were much more energy consuming.

Due to its inability to be used as a defensive tool, a sword had to be used instead. Having long and flexible necks, ponies were able to effectively block and parry attacks with their swords. The higher field of view provided by the placement of the rather large eyes gave ponies the ability to follow their opponent even while turning the head.

Other pegasi had claw-like attachments on their hooves, allowing them to perform aerial dives at the enemy or generally having a higher position, making them harder to hit. Blades of middle length were protruding from the attachments, allowing the pegasi to thrust or slash effectively.

Earth ponies used the ground technique of the pegasi, but had more strength to back up their lack of magic or flight.

Overall, each pony could do well in battle if they were trained in the right way.

Sirius took his time to observe how others trained, memorizing new fighting styles that he saw were being used. It would certainly help him if he were to fight a pegasus or an earth pony.

***

Some time later, all ponies were paired up with each-other, and Pride Fight decided to pair Iclyn with her roommate.

"Go easy on her." he told Sirius. "She needs to learn, and she could use a friend here. Allow her to think and understand what is going on, alright?"

Sirius nodded, preparing for the duel. He knew it would be pretty easy due to Iclyn being inexperienced, but he learned not to underestimate any opponent, for they might have surprises up their sleeves, and the former human needed to be ready for anything.

So, the duel started. Iclyn started to approach her opponent. She moved cautiously, ready to act.

Sirius waited for her, standing in his defensive position. He didn't have to wait for long — Iclyn charged, trying to make the first hit.

Being an experienced fighter, the colt dodged to the side and swung his blade. He moved much slower than he usually did, and Iclyn managed to block his attack.

"Don't block — parry!" Pride Fight yelled. "Direct his own energy against him!"

Iclyn turned to Sirius, trying to get him with the spear. It didn't work due to her slow speed, but she tried to follow it up with a quick thrust, but it was also dodged easily by Sirius.

Then, he tried to get her by swinging the sword. His hit was blocked, but he quickly went in for a thrust, and managed to hit her. She couldn't figure out how to turn her head to prevent Sirius from stabbing her.

"Yeah, that is why we use a lot of armor to protect our chest." Pride commented. "What is your mistake, Iclyn?"

"I guess I should've dodged it." the filly said.

"Correct!" the old stallion nodded. "So, whenever you feel like you're going to be hit and you don't know how to block or parry the incoming hit — dodge. Be like a spring, ready to jump in any direction."

Iclyn understood perfectly.

So, the first training wasn't as taxing or demanding as she expected. Though, it would be quite some time before she would be able to fight even half as well as Sirius could.

However, Iclyn liked the new activity. The sense of training sent shivers running down her spine as the adrenaline from the fight wore off. She could definitely start taking up fencing. Besides, she always wanted to have something good for a free time activity, and what was better than honoring her pegasi warrior roots?

Author's Notes:

I've said it in the blog and another story of mine, but I suppose I should repeat it one more time.

I believe that ponies would grow up faster, both physically and mentally. I didn't like how the show's characters never grew up, and that's why I decided to change it a little bit, even touching questionable things as sex.

However, I would like to see ponies being really different from humans in almost every single thing. I'm no scientist, I wouldn't be able to provide you with reasonable, complex, and logical explanation. Making one would probably take months of my life since I would need to study biology very deeply to understand the processes that happen inside our body.

So, today we learned something new.

Also, I guess it is apparent now that the pegasi were a more warrior-spirited tribe than any other. I guess it makes sense, but I will explain it in the later chapters.

Leave your comments down below. I would really like an in-depth review if anyone is up for it. I always like long comments that tell me what the readers like about my stories, what they don't like, and what they don't understand.

Chapter 20: Weekend

Almost a week had passed since the first time Iclyn attended the fencing club. She made some progress, but it was far from good. At least two good months of training were required for her to become at least average. However, she learned how to move in a more efficient way, and always tried to be unpredictable. She picked it from the way Sirius fought: sometimes, he was slow and fought in a low stance, meaning he was more on the defensive style; other times, he was swift and precise, as well as aggressive. His attacks seemed to be erratical and completely chaotical, no clear pattern could be seen. It was his greatest advantage as well.

Sirius has improved his language quite a bit, and only some parts of it were still difficult for him. He stuttered less, made fewer mistakes, and overall spoke and wrote better. Although, some slowness and an easily heard accent were still present in his speech. He was determined to learn the language and spent most of his free time learning it. Even a small pause during the training was helpful in looking up a couple of words.

In conclusion, the week was very productive for both ponies.

Bullies hadn't shown up at all during the week. However, Sirius was on guard — he would not relax until he knew they were far away. He took notice of a strange thing — neither of them returned to the school after their supposed one week long suspension. Did they get expelled? The former human surely hoped so. It was far more peaceful in the class without them, at least to his knowledge.

A couple of ponies tried to approach him in a friendly manner, but he ignored them. He was uninterested in making friends, and soon the attempts were dropped. However, the classmates were more or less positive and welcoming towards him since he got three bullies possibly espelled, which made life easier for everyone.

Sirius didn't make it to a star pupil some expected him to be. He didn't slack but he didn't put much effort into learning either. He was mainly focused on Commonlang and Magic, two subjects he was interested in the most. In the latter, he received almost excellent marks. While he couldn't teleport anything yet, he was very close to it. What was noticed however, was the fact that his levitation was much more precise than that of others. While different items were swaying slightly in the grasp of most unicorns including experienced ones, Sirius's grip was tight, preventing any sway or bobbing, almost freezing the items in place.

Sirius begun to settle down in the new world. It was indeed much more peaceful than what he was used to. His mind calmed down, and he begun to consider living. While thoughts of suicide hadn't left his mind yet, he found the new world and Equestria specifically as a place worth living. They were filled with color and positive emotions, a striking contrast to what Sirius used to witness back when he was a human.

However, memories remained and the pain didn't subside. It was still there, deep in his mind, buried with his darkest secrets and times of terror. They reminded him of reasons he decided to end his life, reasons that couldn't disappear by themselves. All those powerful negative emotions were inside Sirius, memories he didn't want to recall still stored in his mind, and feelings of various type were there as well. He couldn't let them go even if he wished to.

And he didn't want them to go. He believed his suffering had a reason, maybe even a purpose. He had done many horrible things in his life, and he was very ashamed of them. There was nothing he could do to fix what he had broken, and thus, he knew he had to suffer. Maybe someone would end it for him, but he could only hope. After all, who would be able to understand him, understand his pain and misery? He thought there was no one. Even ponies — they were nothing like him, and he didn't expect them to understand.

But there was a dim sparkle of hope among the white ash that was his soul. As damaged as he was, as depressive as he was, he still subconsciously clung to his dear life, hoping it would change for the better.

And maybe it would. He just had to do something to change the way his life was going.

During the first weekend day, Iclyn approached him with an interesting suggestion.

"Hey, Sirius," she said. "Me and my friends are having a sleepover. Do you mind joining us?"

He was surprised, even shocked by the proposal. Inviting him? It had to be a joke of some kind. While Iclyn was friendly towards Sirius, he highly doubted she would just invite him anywhere at all. He thought he was nothing but a scary creep to her.

He knew how he looked. Thin, almost skeletal body and limbs, and dark circles around the eyes that bore a disturbing gaze. He didn't want to show emotion, and it seemed like it worked not exactly in a good way. His analyzing and judging gaze, paired with expressionless face were enough to scare ponies. He wasn't exactly a type of person to be invited to anything but a funeral.

Though, the chance was given to him to go elsewhere, somewhere nicer. Maybe it wasn't a joke. He begun to think.

Perhaps he should go. There was life besides training and studying. He could very well get to know ponies. Not befriend, just acquaint. Some connections might prove useful in the future.

"I don't mind." he finally responded.

"Alright!" Iclyn said cheerfully. She sighed in relief silently — she thought he would decline. "Grab whatever you need, and we'll go to the market. You know, buy some snacks and that sort of stuff."

Sirius decided to grab his saddlebags and most importantly, his longsword. He would go nowhere without the latter, even to a simple sleepover. He knew he was being paranoid with it, but he couldn't help it. He was physically weak and lacked stamina, his only choice of defense or attack was the usage of something aside from his own body.

Then, he went into the bathroom and looked at himself through the mirror. Recent nights were more or less calm and he got enough sleep. The circles around his eyes weren't as dark and would fade eventually, at least if he got enough sleep. He relaxed his face, and it became slightly more welcoming. His gaze became less of a stare as well. He almost looked relaxed.

A perfect mask to put on during a sleepover.

***

"So, we have to get some stuff. Don't worry, I have the money." Iclyn said as the two exited the apartment and headed out of the hostel. "Chips, some soda, matches, and a sleeping bag for you. Consider it a gift or something, it doesn't matter."

Sirius nodded in appreciation. The fact that he would be given something for free surprised him quite a lot, but it made it so much more pleasant for him to go with the filly. He didn't expect generosity from someone he barely knew. It had to be a joke.

Nevertheless, he hoped it wasn't. Otherwise, he would be very angry and might hurt those behind the joke. He didn't take it lightly when people made fun of him. For some, this kind of joke might seem harmless, but to Sirius, they were unacceptable. He didn't want to waste his time for others' laughter at his own expense.

Soon, he and Iclyn arrived at the market. The filly picked some food, mainly hay fries, some daisy-flavored chips, some sandwiches, and a couple of apple and orange soda cans. Then, the two headed to another part of the market where they would be able to buy a sleeping bag. After the shopkeeper got the dimensions of Sirius, a simple sleeping bag was bought for him: it was gray with a hint of blue. Indeed plain and simple, but the shopkeeper assured Sirius that it's of good quality, and thus durable and suitable even for camping.

"Well, everything's done." Iclyn said. "So, Sirius, we'll go to the train station, arrive at Ponyville, and then go to the White Tail Woods."

"Why so far?" he asked, a small frown appearing on his face. He studied the map of the country during Geography lesson, and learned that both Ponyville and aforementioned woods were rather far from Canterlot.

"There's a treehouse our families built in those woods when they were foals like us. It has become a tradition to gather there, I suppose. Now, we use the treehouse. It's fun, trust me." the filly explained.

Sirius nodded, and the two resumed their way. He wasn't against a little trip into the woods. Besides, he always wanted a treehouse as a kid — might as well use the chance to visit one and spend a night inside. The city quickly became stale for him anyway.

Finally, the two arrived at Ponyville and headed to the White Tail Woods.

"We're a bit late, my friends should be there already, waiting for us." Iclyn said as the two crossed a field.

"Why do you take train when you have wings?" Sirius asked.

"Well, sometimes a trip on a train is faster." the filly replied. "Besides, it's really tiring flying all the way from Canterlot to Ponyville, and then the woods. I'd be out of breath, and I don't want that. I wanna play stuff with friends, I need energy, you know?"

The former human understood perfectly, and nodded.

"So, what do you do with friends?" Iclyn asked.

"Whatever we want." Sirius replied. While he didn't have many friends back when he was a human, there were some people he considered friends and hanged out with quite a lot. "We don't plan anything ahead before time."

"Yeah, we do it a lot, too. Why have plans when you can have fun?" the pegasus chuckled. "We do a lot of stuff. Sometimes pulling pranks on ponies, others just walking or flying around, searching for things to do. And sometimes, we go to our treehouse to have some fun away from everypony."

Sirius hoped such fun had no sexual undertones. While he understood it might be alright around these parts, he didn't want it, plain and simple. He just wanted to play some games, maybe socialize a bit, but nothing more. Not to mention he was sure he would never like ponies that way. He didn't want any sort of intimate relationship with anyone, for that matter.

However, he might be thinking too far. He had to admit he was becoming paranoid. Unsurprisingly, considering all that had happened to him.

The rest of the trip was spent in a complete and awkward silence. At least for Iclyn. She wanted to continue talking, to bring Sirius out of his isolated bubble. However, her efforts proved to be futile. The colt wanted to talk only a few times, and most of them ended with his words being final. And even if his words didn't end the conversation, it ended by itself due to awkwardness from Iclyn's side. Sirius was in complete control of the situation without trying.

Finally, the two reached the treehouse. There were already two ponies inside it, judging by the lively conversation Iclyn and Sirius could hear.

"Well, it seems somepony is indeed here." the filly commented.

The treehouse was fairly big, residing on a big oak tree, supported by wide and thick branches. While it wasn't too high off the ground, it would be impossible to reach if there wasn't a small slope connecting the entrance and the ground. It was climbable even for ponies.

Soon, the two entered the house and met another two ponies: a colt Sirius had previously met and an unknown filly. They were playing a game of cards.

"Oh, hi!" the colt awkwardly said, greeting Iclyn and Sirius. "We were waiting for you, Icy." then, he noticed Sirius. "Um... hello..."

"Hello, Wave Rider." Sirius greeted in return. He remembered the colt from the first day of school — he was the one who approached Sirius first and asked for an advice on how to deal with bullies.

Wave Rider was afraid of Sirius. He saw both the beating of the bullies and the incident at the cafeteria. During the former, the new colt proved to be tough and aggressive. During the latter, he showed even more aggression and violence.

Wave Rider was nothing like Sirius. He liked peace more than anything, and the presence of such a colt really scared him. It didn't help that he was smaller than Sirius and had glasses, almost attracting all sorts of trouble from stronger ponies, mostly bullies. While the book-loving colt was sure Sirius wasn't going to hurt him, it didn't help his fears at all.

"Uh, who are you?" the second new pony in the room asked. It was an earth pony filly of white fur, pink mane and tail, and vibrant blue eyes. She didn't have a special mark just like Sirius and she also seemed younger than him.

"I'm Sirius." the former human introduced himself.

"Ah, you kick ass in the Elementary school, I heard." she chuckled. "I'm Coral, pleased to meet you." she extended her hoof. Without hesitation, Sirius bumped it slightly with his own.

"There are a few ponies more to come." Iclyn said. "Well, feel free to go around the house. It's all ours, after all."

Things were going quite smoothly for Sirius. He couldn't wait for the fun part to begin.

He hadn't had much fun ever since his early childhood, and the memories of those times were ones he wanted to keep. Rekindling them with new ones would certainly help him.

Author's Notes:

Iclyn is trying to make Sirius feel better and introduce him to new ponies in hope that he would become more friendly. Will it bear any fruit?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I want your comments. All of them. Really, it's a shame this story doesn't have many comments. Thumbs up or down, favorites, they are all good, but I really want to know what you're thinking about the story. Perhaps, you have a theory about what Sirius had been through, maybe you will try to predict the outcome. I especially like in-depths comments.

Chapter 21: The Treehouse

The treehouse seemed even bigger on the inside. It was made entirely of wood, and made quite well. If Iclyn's statement was true, the treehouse must've been there for at least a decade.

There were three main rooms. The first one was at the entrance: it was just a playground. There were many pillows, each roughly twice as big as any pony in the room, a big sofa suitable for at least four ponies Sirius' size, a wardrobe filled with different costumes, most likely for Nightmare Night; a couple of shelves filled with different things ranging from books to small figures of ponies, as well as comics. Also, there was a small table in the front, and a TV set stood upon said table. It was a big box, but it had a remote control. There were two antennas sticking out of it in a v-shape. By modern human standards, the TV set was pretty old. Straight from the end of the twentieth century, Sirius guessed.

The second room was the big bedroom. It had one enormous bed on which a lot of ponies would be able to sleep together. There were even more pillows scattered around the empty space. Basically, there was nothing in the room that wasn't soft.

And the third and final room was the bathroom. It had a cistern of water and a large bathtub for ponies to bathe. There was also a simple sink with a bucket acting as a container from which the water was used, and a slightly cracked mirror overhanging the sink.

There was also a second floor, but it acted as a storage of old and unused toys and broken equipment, including fishing poles, some complicated mechanical toys, and almost a full set of armor. Sirius was unsure of the latest and how it was brought there.

There was also a small toilet shed right behind the tree, having everything needed to keep up hygiene.

Overall, the house was pretty good. There was plenty of room not to bang the head on the ceiling. In fact, ponies could jump and run around the first two rooms without much trouble.

Soon, a few ponies arrived to join the party. They were pegasus and unicorn twins: a colt and a filly, both colored a nice shade of brown, having mocha-colored mane and tail with a streak of darker brown. Also, both of them had brown eyes and lacked cutie marks.

"Hi!" they said in unison as they entered the treehouse. They spotted Sirius right away — his sword was still with him. The colt spoke: "You're Sirius, right?" the former human nodded. "There are rumors about you going all over the city. Are you an ancient warrior that came to life for vengeance?"

"No." he shook his head and chuckled. "But I am have problems with language, just like a ancient warrior would."

"Yeah, I see." the filly giggled. "So, my name's Coffee Mug, and my bro's Coffee Bean."

Sirius was no longer surprised by that sort of names. They made some sense, and he couldn't care less about how others were named.

"Alright, everypony's here, finally!" Iclyn declared. "Time for fun! First of all, we'll play hide-n-seek, as we always do." she looked at Sirius. "And I think you're the perfect one to be 'it' since you're the new pony."

"I search for you, yes?" the colt asked with uncertainty. Sometimes, he still had problems with understanding ponies and their language.

"Yeah. We'll hide all around the house and nearby, and you'll need to find us all." Iclyn explained the task to him. "Close your eyes and count to fifty!"

Sirius nodded, closed his eyes, and started counting aloud.

"One... Two..."

***

"Fifty." Sirius opened his eyes. As expected, there wasn't anyone around when he finished.

First of all, he looked around the main room. He didn't notice anything suspicious at the first glance. No movement, no change in scenery besides some minor things, and everything was quiet. However, he decided to check the wardrobe — it was the most likely place for at least one person to hide.

The former human moved smoothly and silently, hoping to hear if anyone let out a single sound, be it a breath, a rustle, or a clop of hooves against the wood. His ears were swiveling around, trying to catch the smallest sounds. However, everything was silent.

He opened the wardrobe and discovered no one inside. The foals were smarter than he initially thought, but he was smarter than them. He knew how to hide, and he knew what places to check if he wanted to find someone.

There was a small space right behind the wardrobe, barely noticeable. Sirius checked it and found Coffee Bean there. The colt was small enough to fit in without a problem.

"Found you." Sirius said.

"Aw, that's bad!" the smaller colt pouted. "I thought this was the perfectest place to hide!"

So, the small colt went to relax on one of the pillows as Sirius continued his search. There were other ponies to find.

Sirius checked under the sofa, in the sofa, under and inside various pillows, but it was clear there was no one else in the room besides Coffee Bean. He needed to check other rooms and see if there is anyone still in the treehouse. He remembered that some of them might be outside.

He went into the bedroom and immediately saw a shadow behind a curtain. Hiding near the window during the day was never a good idea. Sirius opened the curtain and found the second twin.

"Okay, ya got me." Coffee Mug said, jumping down. "Did you find my bro?"

"He is in the main room." Sirius nodded.

"Alright, thanks!" the filly said, and then went to her brother.

Two out of five. He was almost halfway done.

He really liked the game. The whole process was entertaining, and the game was really fun to play after so many years of sitting at the computer playing video games. Besides, he hadn't played any simple children's games for a long time, and it was refreshing to return to such activities. It made him feel much better, feel young and careless again. Best years of his life flashed before his eyes, he felt happy, and even a small, and yet genuine smile appeared on his face.

Sometimes, returning to the past was good. Maybe Equestria would prove good to him, too. His hope rose higher.

Anyway, he needed to find other three ponies. Where could they be? Sirius checked everywhere in the bedroom, he even made sure there wasn't anyone in any pillow or inside the bed. However, he found no one.

So, there were two places to search in. The bathroom and the outside. He decided to go to the bathroom first.

As he approached, he heard rustling coming from within. Confident in his success, he entered the bathroom and immediately saw Wave Rider and Coral. The former was wrapped in the shower curtain on the floor, and the other was trying to help him get out. Both were facing away from him.

"Hello." Sirius said, startling the two ponies.

"Gah!" Wave Rider exclaimed, hitting his head against the floor in surprise. "Ow... Yeah, got us... Stupid curtain!"

"I told you to be silent, Wave!" Coral said. "We would be fine if we did everything quietly!"

"Sorry..." his ears folded in embarrassment. "So..." he turned his head to Sirius. "Mind helping us?"

Sirius shook his head, and then used his magic to help the colt get out of the confines.

"Alright, thank you." Wave said. "Found anypony else?"

"Almost all. I need to find Iclyn." Sirius replied.

"Okay, good luck. We'll just go rest for a bit." the smaller colt rubbed the back of his aching head.

Sirius nodded, and then exited the bathroom. There wasn't anyone else inside, and the only place left to check was the outside.

Soon, he exited the treehouse and looked around. There were some small bushes, unfit for hiding, some trees, too thin to hide behind, and the small toilet shed. He decided to check the latest first. However, there wasn't anyone inside. He expected it — the shed was too noticeable a place to hide in.

He began to think. Unless there was a secret underground basement, there wasn't any place left for him to check. Since everything was green, Iclyn should be very noticeable. However, she simply wasn't there.

She was a pegasus, Sirius remembered. He looked up. Unfortunately for him, there was no one on the trees. Since the treetops were empty, the only place he could suspect was Iclyn's hiding place was the rooftop of the treehouse. However, he had no means of getting there.

"Iclyn!" he called aloud. "If you are on roof, get down!"

A rustle was heard, and then Iclyn appeared. She was indeed there, as Sirius suspected.

"Alright, ya got me." she laughed. "You're one of few who didn't try to get up but called me instead. Clever."

She unfolded her wings and glided down to Sirius.

"So, how do you like the game so far?" she asked after she landed and folded her wings.

"It's fun." he replied with honesty. "I want to hide now."

"Got everypony else?" she asked and Sirius nodded. "Alright. I'm 'it', then. Let's go to others."

***

"I will now count." Iclyn said as everyone prepared to hide. She closed her eyes and started counting: "One... Two..."

Sirius already knew where to hide. First of all, he went into the bedroom. He unbuckled the sword from himself and placed it between the mattress and the wooden base of the bed — the sword would be unnoticeable and wouldn't hinder his movement. Grabbing one of the big pillows, he unzipped it. He saw that the pillows consisted of smaller ones just piled up together inside one sack. He removed a couple of pillows, hid them among bigger pillows, and then got inside the big one. He zipped it back, leaving only a small hole for him to breathe and observe through. Some of the inside pillows he placed on top of himself to conceal his shape and make himself less hard to sit on if anyone did it during the game. Thus, it was the perfect hiding spot for him as long as he didn't move.

He noticed how Coral went into the bathroom, and Coffee Mug hid inside one of the drawers under the bed. He assumed that Coffee Bean and Wave Rider either hid in the main room or outside the house.

And so, he waited for Iclyn to start searching.

"...Fifty!" her muffled voice came from the main room after some time.

Sirius waited unmoving, breathing lightly and quietly. He knew it was just a game, but his instincts of hiding kicked in nevertheless.

He chose a pillow from which he would be able to see most of the room, and thus he was near the corner of the bedroom. It allowed him to view the door to the main room and the bed. It was his instinct to hide where he could see as much as he possibly could.

A few minutes passed before Iclyn entered the room.

"Where could you all be hiding?" she muttered under her breath. First of all, she went to the bed and started opening drawers. In one of them, she found Coffee Mug. "Oh, hi there!"

"Uh..." the smaller filly sighed, getting out. She proceeded to sit on the bed and wait.

Iclyn continued her search. Finding no one, she started checking the pillows. However, she didn't touch them — she simply looked at them, trying to see if it had an unnatural shape or was moving. She didn't notice anything and moved on to the bathroom. If she touched the pillows, she might've been able to find Sirius among them. Though, the chance was lost as her mind switched to a different task.

A minute later, she came out with Coral in tow. They went past hidden Sirius and into the main room. Sirius assumed they headed for the exit.

Sirius was content with lying in his spot and waiting until everyone else was caught.

***

A good ten minutes had passed, and Iclyn hadn't found Sirius yet. She called his name a couple of times when searching outside. However, she was sure he wasn't on the roof or any trees — there wasn't a way he would be there.

"Alright, I give up. Come out, Sirius!" Iclyn called from the main room.

Sirius chuckled to himself, getting out of the big pillow and putting smaller ones back inside. Then, he picked up his sword and buckled it to himself. After making sure no one would discover his hiding spot, he went into the main room.

"Hey, where have you been hiding?" Iclyn asked.

"It's a secret." Sirius replied with a smirk. "It would be your if you found me."

"It's fair, I guess." the filly nodded. "Alright, everypony! What about something really fun? Follow me!" she said, and then went into the bedroom. Everyone followed her.

Sirius was last to enter the bedroom, and received a pillow to the face.

"Pillow fight!" Iclyn exclaimed, grabbed another pillow and threw it at Sirius. This time, he dodged. He hurled his own pillow at her, knocking her off balance. Others soon joined, and pillows flew around the room. While Sirius dodged or blocked most of them with his own pillow, he still got hit from time to time, and he liked it. Such a simple act of throwing pillows around was fun for him, and he was laughing along with others as he hit someone or got hit himself. It didn't hurt at all, too.

The fight lasted for about ten minutes until everyone ran out of breath. Sirius dropped onto the pillow-covered floor and enjoyed the soft comfort they provided. A happy grin was on his face as he savored the moment.

Iclyn noticed his mood and smiled widely, happy for the fact that Sirius was having fun and wasn't sad at all. It was the first time she saw his seriousness and eeriness gone, replaced with living emotions.

"Okay..." she said. "Everypony... Are you having fun?"

A chorus of approval sounded from the foals.

"Great!" Iclyn clapped her hooves together. "Alright, let's do something relaxing. I have a new movie about... Daring Do!"

Everyone except Sirius erupted in cheering. He didn't know what that film was, but others' reactions to it made him anticipate the movie. Besides, he hadn't yet seen any Equestrian movies at all.

Everyone gathered on the sofa and pillows, picking their favorite places. Sirius chose a place on one of the biggest pillows, and used his hooves to shape it according to his comfort. Iclyn injected the cassette into the player that was in the TV set. She pressed some buttons, and the movie began to play.

The quality of the tape wasn't the greatest, but it brought a sense of nostalgia to Sirius — he used to watch a lot of cartoons on a somewhat similar TV set as a kid. He would wake up early in the morning, go to the living room, and turn on the old TV to watch something before he would have to go to school.

Maybe he would be able to befriend more than one pony. They were nice to him, and he genuinely enjoyed the time with them. It made his sad and depressing thoughts go away for a great amount of time, and he couldn't be happier to spend some time without them.

He wished that moment would never end. He knew it wouldn't be like that, but he found comfort among young ponies nevertheless. Warmth, welcoming attitude, and fun.

Such friendships were to live for.

Author's Notes:

If anyone is wondering about my other stories, don't you worry — I'm working on them. However, they require more time, and the current story is somehow easy to write.

So, as we have just discovered in this chapter, Sirius isn't that type of person who can never be happy and not enjoy anything. He has been through a lot, but there is still something inside him that helps him cope. He is still able to have fun, which speaks volumes about him.

Will he make more friends?

Chapter 22: Cold

Sirius was the first one to tire out and go to sleep after the movie. He took a place at the edge of the large bed and placed some pillows for additional comfort. Others, however, were still awake, discussing their day.

"So, what do you all feel about Sirius?" Iclyn asked. She saw with her own eyes that Sirius was friendly, and it made her feel good. She hoped her other friends accepted him.

"He's fun." the twins said in unison.

"He looks a bit... unhealthy, but yeah, he's fun." Coral nodded.

"Well, um... To me, he's alright. He's better and more fun than he was at the school." Wave Rider put his own words. "But... I dunno, there is something, um, unsettling about him. Maybe I'm just kinda paranoid since, you know, I'm afraid of, um, big stallions." he blushed in embarrassment. He had confessed his phobia to his friends a long time ago, but he still felt it was a silly fear.

"That's why I invited him here." Iclyn said. "He's just so... serious all the time. I wanted to show him that he can have fun, too."

"So, do you like him?" Coral asked with interest.

"Cor, I've known him for less than a week." the pegasus looked at her with a slight frown. "He's my roommate, and I just want to see him unwind, nothing more. I want him to become friends with ponies so that he wouldn't have to act like everypony's hostile to him."

"I think you forgot the best way to show fun to colts." Coral winked.

"I don't think he wants that sort of fun." Iclyn blushed slightly. "He has a tough time making friends — he doesn't seem like he wants to do it at all. I doubt he even has a, you know, romantic interest in either of us. Or in anypony at all."

"It seems he's a kinda weird guy." Coffee Mug said. "But he's having fun with us! I think we should do what we do and, um, play games with him and, you know, such things."

"I think so, too." Wave Rider nodded and then yawned.

"Yeah, I think it's time everypony's go to bed." Iclyn nodded, yawning as well. "Oh... yep, time to sleep."

Soon, everypony found themselves on the big bed in the bedroom. Iclyn lied down near Sirius, acting as a sort of shield between him and the others. She thought that he might not like waking up to new ponies. So, she decided to be near him as a precaution.

Everyone was soon asleep. Except Iclyn — she couldn't get Sirius out of her mind.

He was so strange to her, unlike any other pony she had ever met before. He was serious, aggressive, smart for his age, and sad. She could see it in his eyes when he sometimes zoned out during the lessons. She didn't know the cause for that, but she suspected he was harboring some very bad feelings.

But on that day, he had much fun playing with her and her friends. It seemed like he put the pain away for some time and truly enjoyed the moment of peace and comfort.

Iclyn understood one thing — she should work towards having fun with him more often. She thought it would help him become better and feel better.

At least she hoped so.

***

Sirius was asleep. For some time, there was nothing but the comforting black void he was so used to see. It was warm and soft, allowing him to relax for sometime until he inevitably woke up. Sleep was one of the few things Sirius had never wanted to end.

But sometimes, dreams changed into nightmares.

Suddenly, Sirius found himself in a long and blank corridor. The walls, ceiling, and floor were gray stone, and there was nothing else.

He looked around. Behind him, a solid gray wall stood, preventing him from going backwards. There was only one way to go.

He checked his side. Unfortunately, the sword wasn't there. He frowned deeply — he had nothing to defend himself with.

He started walking forward. It looked like there would be a turn to the right soon. He felt the urge, the need to continue going. Something obviously wasn't right.

Suddenly, the wall behind him broke. Sirius turned around sharply and faced... something.

It was a tall and gaunt humanoid figure, completely nude and pale-skinned, its body and arms plastered with blood. Its eyes were gouged out, replaced by black holes in the skull. It began to move towards Sirius in a set of broken, twitching, unnatural steps. He stared at the nightmarish creature in horror, frozen in fear.

Then, the creature raised its left hand. To his great terror, Sirius saw a revolver.

*BLAM!*

The creature missed, urging Sirius to run. He turned around quickly and dashed to the turn. He didn't stop, feeling the nightmare behind him. He needed to get out of its reach.

It followed him, its feet slapping against the cold stone floor. It groaned as it walked, its left hand raised and revolver aimed forward.

Another shot was made, which slightly scraped Sirius' side. He hissed, feeling the hotness of the bullet, and then quickened his pace. However, he didn't seem to increase his speed much. It felt like his legs moved through swamp water, which didn't allow him to move faster than the walking speed.

And the creature followed relentlessly.

Sirius begun to cry in despair. He couldn't possibly outrun it, the struggle was futile. He panted heavily and rapidly, panic overcoming him.

A shot cracked through the still air, and it reached its target, wounding the hind leg.

Sirius cried and fell, sharp pain throbbed through his leg. Clenching his teeth, he managed to get up. He couldn't allow himself to stop. He resumed his escape, but the noticeable limp prevented him from going fast. He was only slightly faster than the haunting figure behind him.

He couldn't stop, he mustn't. He must escape, he must run away. There was no place to hide. He couldn't allow himself to stop. His crippled leg ached painfully, but he couldn't stop even for a moment, he had to endure the pain.

*BLAM!*

Sirius collapsed, immobilized by a shot that hit his spine, paralyzing his hind legs. He helplessly scraped the floor with his front hooves, trying to crawl away from danger.

An invisible force made him turn around and face the creature. It stood mere few meters away, looking down at Sirius with its black holes for eyes. The revolver was aimed at him.

Sirius' eyes widened, tears streaming down from them. Would he die there, all alone, hopeless and helpless?

The creature raised its revolver and pressed the muzzle against its chin. Then, it pulled the trigger.

Its head's top exploded, splattering brains and blood across the ceiling. For a moment, the creature stood. Then, it fell on its back, the metal of the revolver clanking against the ground.

And then Sirius woke up with a gasp.

He shot his eyes open. Pale moonlight shone through the window, illuminating his surroundings. Everything was calm. The sound of sleeping ponies filled the room as their chests rose and fell as they breathed. It was peaceful indeed.

He felt wetness around his eyes and understood that the tears made their way into the waking world, staining his face. He blinked a couple of times, trying to shake the last remaining nightmarish visions away.

He sighed slowly. Another nightmare had been gone through. Another night without good sleep. Another restless night.

And there he thought things could get better. On the outside, maybe. But on the inside...

He sighed again, this time shakily. Pain never let him go, even when he was sure he was having fun. It always slithered its way back into his mind, twisting everything on its way.

Suddenly, he felt warmth against his stomach. His eyes widened in a horrifying realization.

He discovered that he hugged Iclyn close to himself while he was sleeping. Hurriedly, he released her from his grip and nudged himself away from her as far as he could without falling from the bed. He couldn't allow to be so sentimental and weak.

As the warmth faded from his skin, he shivered as if ice was placed there instead. He already felt lost and uncomfortable without that warmth Iclyn gave him.

He felt like a creep. He didn't want to be so intimately close to Iclyn. It was terrible for him to do that.

He raised his hoof. He must be punished,

He hit himself in the face, and hissed in pain. But he knew he deserved it. He mustn't get so uncomfortably close to anyone. Ever.

Even if it felt good to feel that warmth. He craved more.

He slapped himself again, almost whining in pain as it shot through his head. No, he would be a creep if he got close to her again. It was disgusting, sick, dirty. He felt like a stalker, a rapist. He wanted to hurt himself even more.

He rolled onto his other side, away from Iclyn, and closed his eyes. Maybe the distance between them wouldn't let him hug her again, he hoped.

Unbeknownst to him, Iclyn was wide awake. She had been woken up by Sirius' shivering in his sleep. She felt the tight grip he had on her during the sleep, afraid to let go. But he did.

Then, she heard slaps and hisses. Her eyes widened in realization — he had hurt himself for hugging her in his sleep. She didn't know why he did it to himself, why he felt the need to do it. It was so scary for her, she couldn't understand why would anyone hurt themselves for something so innocent.

Iclyn was certain about one thing — Sirius needed someone to help him. She couldn't just stand aside and do nothing when someone hurt themselves because they felt they had done a bad thing.

Sirius wasn't a bad person, she realized. Bad things were done to him, and he tried to evade falling there again. He didn't want to harm — he wanted to be safe from dangers of the world.

Just what was going through his damaged mind?

Author's Notes:

I know this is a smaller chapter, but I didn't feel like adding anything else to it would be good.

I must say that everything Sirius experiences in his nightmares has a meaning. Try to guess what was the meaning behind this one. What was that creature and why it chased him? Why did it shot itself? I'd like to hear your guesses.

On the side note, I was researching much about people with depression and how they think. I'm not sure I want to go any further — what I found made me feel slightly sick and sad.

Chapter 23: Spark

Under the dark of the night, its princess glided across the land, heading to one particular place. She wanted to do it for a long time but held it off until she heard about Sirius and what happened at his new school. She needed answers, and she was certain she knew where to find them. It was worth trying, at least.

Soon, Luna landed on the sandy bank of the lake Birthwater. If it was the origin of Sirius, she would be able to find at least something about him.

There was nothing on the banks or anywhere nearby. Any and all marks of his presence were gone. However, there was still something in the air. Weak traces of magic and something else Luna couldn't recognize. The closer to the lake she got, the stronger the feeling became.

She decided to dive into the waters and see if there was anything down on the bottom. She cast two spells that would allow her to easily traverse through underwater: the first spell allowed her to breathe water, and the second increased her vision.

Soon, she entered the water and started swimming through it. The feeling grew closer the closer she was to the bottom of the lake. It also grew stronger when she moved closer to the center of the lake.

She frowned slightly. Was this lake more than it seemed?

Suddenly, the water took a red hue. Luna stopped and looked around. She was sure there were no carnivorous underwater fauna in the lake. However, she could taste something metallic. It was like blood, but something was different.

She noticed that big crimson leaves appeared seemingly out of nowhere. She moved closer to inspect them.

Those plants were unlike anything she had seen before. The structure, the size, nothing was familiar. She touched one of the leaves, and it spurted out a cloud of red. It looked and tasted like blood. However, Luna was sure it wasn't blood.

Maybe there was a deeper story behind the lake and its name. Luna realized — what if the lake itself could give birth? With everything she had found, her suspicions grew. Was the lake alive?

The alicorn of the night could never suspect this lake to be special. It was like many others that were scattered across the world.

She remembered — Celestia told her that the lake is a place where many couples go in hopes of having a foal. Maybe it wasn't a simple tradition. Maybe the lake was like a magnet for couples, having power to grant them with foals.

If so, was it like that from the beginning or was a spell put on it? Luna didn't know.

Suddenly, she noticed something among the leaves, something that didn't belong there. It was something made of polished metal and rubber, two things never seen in nature. She picked it up and looked closer. It was slightly bigger than a hoof and resembled an L shape. However, details couldn't be seen because of the red fog.

She also noticed a small metallic box nearby. She picked it up as well.

Luna teleported herself and the newfound items onto the bank of the lake. She shook the water off of herself, and then inspected the first thing she found closer.

It looked like it was made to be held in hands or claws. The rubber-like grip on the shorter part of L heavily suggested it, being shaped in a very ergonomic way to be held in one claw or hand. Next thing was a rotating cylinder attached to the longer part. Luna also noticed a button. She pressed it, and cylinder easily flipped to the side, revealing its backside. It contained five holes, each of them filled with something made of brass. The cylinder could also be removed, and Luna did it. Without it, she could see a tube that made the most of the longer part of the thing. It wasn't filled with anything and was completely see-through.

She looked at the front of the cylinder. The same holes that the backside had could be seen, and there were conical-shaped things made of another sort of metal in them. Four of them, to be exact.

Luna reassembled the thing. She noticed some sort of metallic protrusion in the back, right above the rubber grip. She pulled it and heard a metallic click.

There was another protrusion underneath the cylinder that moved along with the upper one. It was shaped like a crescent and protected with an arc made of metal. Out of curiosity, she pulled it.

*BLAM!*

Luna dropped the thing, jumping away from it in fear. Thankfully, it was aimed at the lake.

The sound of the shot reverberated and echoed across the lake, scaring the fauna away. Some smoke came out of the slim end, quickly disappearing.

"What sort of thing is this?!" Luna yelled, shaking from shock, her ears folded against the head.

She didn't yet know that thing was a revolver. And not just any revolver...

It belonged to Sirius.

Luna spent the most of that night in her bedchambers, inspecting the revolver. It had some markings of unknown language on it. She found the weapon quite fascinating, especially the way the bullets were designed. Something like that could be used to enhance Equestrian cannons.

Luna felt that the revolver had a connection with Sirius. However, she didn't know it yet. Was it self-defense weapon or did he use it for offense? Out of five bullets, two were used, counting the one Luna shot on accident. Where did the other bullet go? Whom or what did it hit? She didn't know.

She also found out that placing empty shells into the metal box would return as usable ammo. It was quite interesting.

She would need to talk with Sirius about the strange weapon. Maybe he would shed some light onto it. Perhaps she could send him a letter. While it could be potentially dangerous for her to let him near the weapon, she was sure he wouldn't use it against her, at least if she didn't provoke him.

In the morning.

Slowly everyone began to wake up. First of them was Sirius. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, and rolled from one back to another, preparing to stand up. Even after the horrifying nightmare he had had during the night, he still managed to get somewhat decent sleep. He felt more or less alright, at least.

Iclyn woke up as soon as she felt Sirius moving on the bed. She stretched her body, and then greeted Sirius, trying to sound as friendly as possible.

"Good morning, Sirius!" she said. She hoped that he would be at least a bit cheerful.

However, he just nodded, not even turning to her. One side of his muzzle could be seen, however, and there was almost a faded hoof mark on his cheek. Iclyn winced at the display, remembering that he had hurt himself during that night. She would try to talk to him about it when they were alone. She waited for a perfect moment.

Next, the twins woke up. They cheerfully greeted the other two ponies, waking up Coral in the process. After everyone assembled, they headed to the main room to have breakfast.

"So, how's dreams, everypony?" Coral asked after everyone took their places with some energetic snacks.

"I don't really remember. It was... soft?" Wind Rider said with uncertainty.

"I was chasing a cat through some colorful rubber tunnels." Coffee Bean said.

"I was a cat and I was running away from... wait a second..." the twins looked at each-other, and then exclaimed at the same time: "What were you doing in my dreams?"

"I don't remember. Probably something silly." Iclyn said dismissively, chuckling at the twins.

The turn had come to Sirius.

"Fine." he said, trying to sound neutral. However, it came out more as a grumble than anything else. He didn't want anyone to ask him about that.

Iclyn glanced at him. He refused to meet her gaze, instead focusing his attention on the bag of chips. Shame, some anger, and fear was evident in his eyes.

He felt bad. He didn't want to touch Iclyn in any way at all. He never wanted to be so close, and yet he did it uncontrollably. He still felt filthy and sick after that. He enjoyed the warmth Iclyn gave him during the sleep, but he would never admit it. He wanted to punch himself again but didn't risk doing it among others. He would reserve it for later.

Iclyn didn't know what was wrong with him. He didn't do anything bad to her and besides, it was just an accident, a minor one at that. It could be completely disregarded, and yet it was clearly seen Sirius didn't feel well because of it, even to the point of self-harm, which Iclyn failed to understand. Did he fear close contact and intimacy?

As everyone was chatting about everything, Sirius was silent, eating his snacks. He didn't feel like talking at all. He just wanted to hide somewhere, bury himself in soft pillows, surround himself with comfort. His fun was ruined by one single event, and he couldn't get over it.

"Alright, we needa go." one of the twins said. "We promised our mom we'd be back by eleven. It's like, half past eight."

"Me, too." Coral said. "I need to help my parents clean up the house."

"Me, three, actually." Wind Rider said. "I promised my mom to help her in the garden. Better do it sooner."

"Alright, then." Iclyn nodded. "Good luck!"

Soon, Iclyn and Sirius were completely alone. It was time to act.

"Sirius..." the pegasus began slowly. "I want to talk to you."

Sirius turned his head to her and stopped chewing.

"I know what happened during the night." Iclyn said, looking him in the eyes. She saw quickly rising fear, but it was soon replaced by defensive aggression. "I want to say... You didn't do anything wrong. You shouldn't have harmed yourself."

The aggression was gone in an instant, replaced with surprise. Sirius looked at the filly. She couldn't quite tell what he was thinking, though.

"Look..." Iclyn continued. "It was completely alright. Maybe you feel bad about touching me without my permission, but it's fine." she sat on her haunches. Then, she recognized the look he had — it was sadness. It was also longing. Longing for... her warmth. "You can hug me if you want." she outstretched her forelegs. "It is fine." she said softly.

Sirius was stuck in place. He couldn't build up his aggression to make her drop it. He just couldn't. He didn't find it in himself. Better yet, he didn't want to hurt her in any way. She acted like a friend. Like a good friend Sirius had a long time ago. He could see her in the pegasus filly. So inviting, soft, caring...

Then, he heard a voice: "Have no fear."

It was her voice. He hadn't heard it in years, but it was as he remembered it: comforting, soft as silk, and pleasant, like a rain in the night.

Maybe Iclyn could become such a friend. She showed friendship, she cared for him. Otherwise, why would she invite him for a hug?

He stood up slowly. However, some doubts remained. Was he replacing her? Was Iclyn good enough to become his friend? So little time had passed, less than a week. However, she hadn't hurt him even once. She was protective, she was caring, just like her.

He took a few steps towards Iclyn. She waited patiently, a soft and encouraging smile on her face. She indeed cared for him. She saw he needed someone to be there for him, and she was ready. He could become friends with her, all he needed to do was to allow himself to.

Sirius took another few steps, coming face to face with Iclyn. Slowly, he sat down in front of her, looking somewhere between her eyes. Was it alright for him to do? The filly showed that it was indeed.

He hugged her and placed his head on her shoulder, closing his eyes. He felt her forelegs wrapping around him in a warm embrace. He felt the warmth of her body, her heart beating against his. It was welcoming, it felt good. He hadn't hugged anyone for many years, and it felt absolutely amazing to do it again after so long.

A few tears rolled down his cheeks. He didn't want to let go. It was there, the warmth, the one thing that could help him survive. He desperately needed someone to help him, and it seemed he made a few steps towards Iclyn. Maybe she indeed could be his friend. However, he was unsure about it yet.

After a small eternity, he released her from his grasp and sat, looking her in the eyes.

"Feel better?" Iclyn asked, worry in her voice.

"...Yes." a smile touched his lips. "Iclyn... Thank you." he turned away from her, hiding his tears. "We need clean up and go." he stood up. "We... need to... do homework."

"Alright." Iclyn nodded, standing up as well. "Sirius... If you ever need me — you're always welcome."

He nodded, finding it hard to speak as more tears appeared in his eyes.

It was a spark of friendship.

Author's Notes:

Maybe friendship between the two will work out. We just have to wait.

What do you think about it, dear readers?

Chapter 24: XVR

As Iclyn and Sirius embarked on a train to Canterlot and took their places, the former human couldn't help but think about what had happened earlier that day.

He had showed his more sensitive side to another person, and it was a thing he had rarely ever done. It worried and relieved him at the same time. He hoped Iclyn wouldn't tell anyone about it, and at the same time was glad he did it. Not only did it feel better, but it allowed him to lower his emotionless mask in her presence, which was good for his shattered mental health. He even began to develop friendly affection towards the pegasus filly.

Would she become his new friend? Deep inside, he was almost sure she would. He wished it to come true. He discovered a new chance to live, and he truly wanted to have someone to turn to with his problems, and he had plenty of them.

He leaned against the window as the train softly rocked against the tracks, making him sleepy. Beautiful sceneries passed by as the train neared the Canterlot Track: a set of railroad ways that rose higher and higher, circling the Alicorn Peak until the arrival at the capital city. The view from the height was breathtaking, and everything seemed so small.

Iclyn glanced at Sirius from time to time. While the problem she encountered was resolved, she could see in his eyes that he was thinking about something. His expression was neutral and slightly tired, his eyelids low. The pegasus guessed that he didn't get much sleep because of the nightmare.

She wanted to talk to him but didn't know how. She managed to help him once by using her words, but she was unsure how to act next. Did he accept her as a friend or was there hesitation and uncertainty? She hoped he would become closer to her, open up a little. However, everything ended after he hugged her. There wasn't remorse or anything like that, but he hadn't shown her anything ever since.

Sirius was still mysterious to Iclyn. He came from nowhere, and she wasn't sure he was one hundred percent pony. When he spoke, she noticed he had fangs in his mouth, something that normal ponies don't have. Of course, there were lunar pegasi, but he looked nothing like them. Also, he wasn't a normal pony to begin with: calm and collected, and yet aggressive and sad. Everything was mixed together inside him, and the mix was unlike anything Iclyn had ever even heard of. He had many problems that were hidden from her, and she couldn't fathom the circumstances that shaped him into the person he was at that day.

Iclyn was worried about him like a friend would. She didn't consider herself his friend, however — he hadn't let her get too close. He was still a large mystery, even his origins were unknown. Who were his parents? Where was he from? Why did he come to Equestria? And most importantly, why was he the way he was? Iclyn was pretty sure that she could get the answers only by asking Sirius, and she feared he would react negatively if she did it. She didn't want to push her luck.

Besides, he had fallen asleep by the time she thought of it. She moved closer to him, pressing her side against his. Maybe it would help him with his dreams and repel the nightmares.

During the train ride, nightmares didn't plague Sirius indeed. However, something strange happened in his dreams.

He opened his eyes. He was still in the train, but it had stopped by the time he came to his senses. It was empty as well, its doors opened. The former human looked outside, and discovered that there was artificial light, one that could be seen in underground metro systems.

He cautiously looked around again. There was still no one. Slowly and carefully, he got up from his seat. Unfortunately, he was defenseless again — his sword was nowhere to be found.

He disembarked the train. The surroundings resembled a plain and gray subway station. There were simple rectangular columns supporting the unremarkable ceiling, as well as a few simple wooden benches along the wall. The station name was blurred, hidden from Sirius behind an invisible veil.

He shook his head slightly, and then went to the exit. It was a flight of stairs with an out of order escalator. So far, there was still no one around. Everything was completely silent, and only the sound of Sirius' hooves clicking against the marble floor was echoing and reverberating through the empty halls of the station.

Soon, he came to a fork: there were two ways he could take. At the end of one of them, he could see a distant pony silhouette which seemed to call Sirius, but he couldn't hear the exact words. The other way was a much shorter, and yet darker corridor, only one lamp illuminated the end of it.

He took the second one. He couldn't trust whoever that pony was. He didn't know them. What if they did something bad to him?

At the end of the corridor, there was a table. And on the said table, a very familiar thing lied.

It was Sirius' revolver. Its polished gray metal shone in the light, and there was some blood on the muzzle, dull red in color.

Sirius picked the revolver up and checked its cylinder. It had five bullets — the maximum capacity. One of them was already used, however.

He felt the pull. The revolver called to him. He obeyed it, flicking the cylinder back into place and cocking the hammer.

He pressed the muzzle of the weapon against the side of his head, its coolness chilling him to the bone as sweat rolled down his forehead. He was so close, so close. He could feel it touching him. It was the most pleasant touch he would ever hope to get.

He hadn't pulled the trigger yet, however.

Maybe he shouldn't. There were possibilities. Maybe he shouldn't end his life right there and then. Everything went smoothly in the new world, he even had fun once, and one of the ponies was kind to him.

He frowned. Fun lasted shortly, and kindness was certainly fake. Why would anyone care for him? He knew her for less than a week. She couldn't possibly care for him in any way. A roommate, classmate, nothing more. Not a friend nor lover. Not a part of the family either.

Besides, his heart already belonged to someone else, someone he couldn't let go no matter how hard he tried. It was like an obsession, an unhealthy, disturbing obsession. It drove him crazy, it drove him mad. He couldn't live like that. He knew he would never reach the one he desired, and he knew what she would answer if answered at all. He was nothing to her, so unimportant, boring, and creepy. He couldn't possibly get what he wanted, he thought.

One thing remained. Death.

Someone kept calling him, their voice growing louder. He couldn't hesitate, not when there were people who would pull him back into the swamp of feces that was the life.

He pulled the trigger. However, he didn't hear the shot — he woke up instead.

"Sirius?" Iclyn called her roommate, looking at him with worry.

"...Woke up." he replied, grumbling slightly. He kept his emotions under control — he couldn't allow another sentimental moment to happen between him and the filly, at least not so soon. "We arrived?"

"Yeah. Let's go." Iclyn nodded, and then the two proceeded to disembark the train and go outside the train station.

Sirius was deep in thought. While his strange dream had almost faded by then, he still remembered something — who was that pony at the end of the hallway? Did they bear any significance? He didn't know. Maybe it would become clear to him as time went on.

Meanwhile, Luna was studying the revolver. She decided that perhaps calling Sirius wasn't a very good idea, especially considering that he was mentally unstable. Of course, maybe she would get her answers, but for what price?

There had been one bullet already shot before Luna found the revolver deep in the water. Whom did Sirius shoot and why? Was it self-defense? Murder? Attempted suicide?

Luna had her suspicions, one more insane than another, and yet all plausible. It was clear he wasn't born a pony. The alicorn hadn't seen such a weapon before, and she was sure it was made by neither minotaurs nor griffons, two possible species that could hold such a weapon effectively.

Thus, the revolver confirmed her earlier suspicions — Sirius was from another world and wasn't a pony until he appeared at the Birthwater lake.

Should she do anything about it? Maybe. Sirius could very well be a danger to others. However, he hadn't done anything even remotely bad to any pony aside from those who arguably deserved it. So far, all he did was self-defense, and such an act wasn't prohibited in Equestria. He hadn't murdered or severely wounded anyone as well. All in all, it was safe to assume that he used violence only when necessary.

So, should Luna return the revolver to him? After all, there were no legal reasons for her to keep the weapon to herself. Besides, he already had one weapon who could be used for killing. Frankly, anything he could lay his hooves on could be used as one. Even his own horn could be used for successfully stabbing someone to death if he was persistent enough.

All in all, there was no reason for Luna to keep him in the dark. She could use this possibility to gain Sirius' trust as well, seeing that she did cause him some trouble before.

So, she went to write a letter.

As Sirius and Iclyn reached their apartment, the former human felt a strange sensation — a pull towards a certain direction. After that strange dream he had, it became stronger and stronger.

He looked in that direction. He knew that there was the Canterlot Castle. Why did he feel the pull towards it? Why then?

"Sirius, look — there's a letter for you." Iclyn said, gesturing at his bed. Indeed, there was a letter packed into a midnight-blue envelope with a silver wax stamp.

Sirius approached his bed and took the letter into his magical grasp. There was indeed his name on it, written in flowing silver-colored letters. He opened it.

Dear Sirius,

I believe I have something that belongs to you. You should take a look at it and tell me if it is indeed yours.

Please, come to the Lunar Wing of the Canterlot Castle. The guards will show you the way from then on.

Sincerely,

Princess Luna

Sirius furrowed his brows. He understood it was why he felt the pull towards the castle. Did Luna cast a spell on him? Was the item she found calling to him? He had only one way to find out.

"I will return soon." he told Iclyn, and then headed out of the apartment.

The filly stared at him with confusion. Just where was he going and why?

Some time later, Sirius finally reached the castle and entered it without any problems. The guards kept an eye on him since he had a sword on his side, but didn't do anything to stop him or take the sword away. But if they tried to, there would be a very unpleasant surprise waiting for them.

Soon, the former human came to a set of big double doors. They were night-themed, having a crescent moon and stars on a dark-blue background.

"You are Sirius, correct?" one of the guards approached him. Unlike others, he had dark-gray fur, orange slit-pupil eyes, bat-like membrane wings and longer fur. His armor was also different from what Sirius had previously seen. It had more protection, as well as different color: shades of purple instead of plain gold.

Sirius nodded, and then he and the guard proceeded into the Lunar Wing of the castle. It was decorated with gothic architecture elements, such as pointed archways and elaborate stone carvings. There also was an enormous and very well detailed map of the moon's surface. Sirius was quite surprised by that fact — the pony race wasn't very advanced in technology, not to the point of space travel. Perhaps they had telescopes that allowed them to study the moon that close. Otherwise, there was no explanation he could think of.

Before a certain door, the guard stopped Sirius.

"Wait here. I shall inform her majesty about your arrival." the guard said, and then proceeded to knock the door. The voice of the nightly princess responded, and the guard entered. Soon, he returned and allowed Sirius to go inside.

He felt the pull stronger than before. But it didn't come from Luna, no. She was sitting at a table, and on the said table something lied under a piece of black cloth. It was the magnet Sirius was looking for.

"Good morning, Sirius." Luna greeted him softly and carefully. "How was your week?"

"...Fine." he replied after a moment of consideration. "If you take away being attacked on the first day," he begun to list, making Luna frown. "Twice on a row, and then almost attacked again, not to mention almost got myself beaten up. If not for this—" he shook his side, directing Luna's attention towards his sword "—they would've attacked."

"I'm... very sorry to hear this." Luna said. While she knew about the first two incidents, she was unaware of the third one. "I promise I'll make sure they will be punished accordingly."

Sirius stared into her eyes. So far, he was sure she wasn't lying.

"So," Luna cleared her throat. "I found something that I think is yours. Take a look." she swiped the piece of cloth off the table, revealing the revolver. "Do you know what it is?"

Sirius knew well what it was. It was Smith&Wesson .460 XVR revolver with 21.3 centimeters barrel. He remembered he got it some time ago. If his memory was right, it happened about six months before his suicide.

He stared at it in disbelief. How could it end up there? Did he not notice it when he came to the new world? Most likely, yes. And he was going to get it back.

"Yes." Sirius said, confirming Luna's thoughts and suspicions. "I need it back."

"I will give it back to you if you answer a couple of questions." Luna stated firmly, nodding. "It won't concern your personal life, seeing how you refuse to talk about it."

"...Let us begin." Sirius said slowly. He hoped she wouldn't ask anything too... sensitive. He should carefully work everything out — he needed that gun.

"I've thought about you a lot, truth be told." Luna admitted. "There is one major question I want to ask you. Are you an alien?"

"A what?" Sirius blinked. "What does alien mean?"

"Are you from another world?" Luna rephrased her sentence.

"..." Sirius figured out it wouldn't do him anything if he hid the truth. She already knew, denying it was impossible. "If yes, so what?" he asked, some aggression showed in his voice.

"Neither I nor my sister will take your freedoms away because you're an alien, don't worry." the princess assured. "Every single being deserve to search their happiness in our country, pony or not. As long as they follow the law, of course." she cleared her throat. "I just wanted to know... Why does your world has this?" she gestured at the revolver.

"I used it for... self-defense." Sirius replied. "It was, um created for hunt. Our weapons are developed more than what you have."

"And how do you call such weapons?" Luna asked with interest.

"They are guns." the former human replied.

"Guns..." the nightly alicorn rolled the word on her tongue. The word was short and somewhat aggressive, and yet elegant.

"But this thing is a... revolver." Sirius managed to pick the right word. "You won't understand the complete name."

"Alright... And the last question." Luna picked up the revolver and flicked the cylinder out. "It has five slots. One had already been used." she looked at him. "How did you use it?"

"It is personal." he replied. He wasn't about to tell her the real reason.

"Vendetta?" Luna asked.

"What?" Sirius blinked in confusion.

"Revenge?" the princess used another word.

"...Maybe." he replied, looking away. Maybe his suicide was a sort of revenge he inflicted upon himself because of self-hate. He was weak, not strong enough to survive in that world of humans. The failure deeply scarred him, and there was no other way out than to make sure that the one behind all this was dead — himself.

"Alright." Luna sighed slightly. "Take it. Please, don't kill anypony. They don't deserve it." it came out like a plea than anything else.

"If they don't give me reason to." Sirius replied, picking up the revolver, his magic forming into hands, one of which wrapped around the handle. Luna noticed it but didn't comment, instead studying the movement of fingers. "Besides, I would have done it already. I have this." he used his magic to shake his sword slightly.

"...This is also yours." she handed him a small metallic box she found alongside the revolver. "I... I hope you won't have to use this weapon again."

Sirius turned around and walked to the door. At the last moment, he turned around.

"Likewise." he said, and then left.

Luna continued sitting in her armchair, breathing lightly. The tension was gone, replaced with a feeling of numbness. She saw a flicker of deep sadness in his eyes as he said his last word.

No, he wasn't going to kill anyone, Luna understood. He was capable of killing, but it didn't mean he wanted to.

Sirius stood at the edge of Canterlot again, looking down. No one was around him as he stared at the ground down below.

He pressed the muzzle of his revolver against his temple.

He hesitated.

His gun began to shake.

No, he couldn't do it again, not when everything looked like it was going to become better as days passed.

He lowered his revolver. The fear of another painful transformation prevented him from pulling the trigger.

Maybe he wouldn't need it indeed.

Author's Notes:

In case there is still confusion: Luna returned the revolver to Sirius because he already had a weapon and she understood that there would be no difference if she gave him another one. He could very well use anything to do what he needed. Besides, she was sure ponies hadn't done him anything too bad.

Maybe it wasn't the best choice of action, but maybe Luna got something from it as well. At least she didn't overreact to the news that Sirius wasn't actually a pony. Besides, she knew she had to keep her calm if she wanted him to cooperate.

If there are any questions left — ask me, I will explain.

Also, every single detail of the dream/nightmare sequences matter. Remember it when you try to build theories around what is happening inside Sirius' mind.

Chapter 25: Thoughts and Talk

Luna had been pacing in her personal chambers for some time already, her mind occupied with the thoughts of Sirius.

So, he was indeed an alien. While it changed little in her view of him, she figured out one very important thing — whatever damaged him happened in his world. While Luna would like to see what that world was like, she feared that a contact with it would most likely have a negative impact on her or even Equestria. If the inhabitants of that world had advanced weaponry and were as aggressive as Sirius, they would be able to conquer Equestria and pretty much all other countries. No one was ready for another war, and Luna wasn't going to let one happen.

Most likely, Sirius was used to be bipedal — Luna remembered that he had problems with the stairs. He projected two hands, meaning that he could indeed be bipedal, just like minotaurs. He also had fangs, which indicated he could either be carnivore or omnivore. So far, Luna hadn't noticed him having any problems with food. So, he was most likely an omnivore.

The bigger concern was his skills in fighting. Luna was told that he was a very capable duelist and knew some deadly moves that could only be seen on the pages of old manuals that dated back to the times where wars were common. Sirius had means of both ranged and melee attacks, meaning he was prepared for almost any situation.

If his world needed its inhabitants to be that skillful in fighting in order to survive, not to mention how he suffered because of it, Luna would like to never make contact unless her suspicions and assumptions were proven untrue. In the light of events, it wasn't likely.

Was her decision to return the weapon to Sirius right? Luna didn't know if she regretted it or not. The alien could use it to harm ponies. However, she was sure he wouldn't do it without a very good reason. Besides, he had a chance to kill the bullies, and he didn't take it, at least according to his words he merely made them run away by showing the sword.

But what if they didn't? What if they were stupid enough to attack an armed colt who knew how to use his weapon? Would Sirius butcher them? Luna feared that he would. But if she took away the revolver and never gave it back, would she be good? After all, everyone could commit a crime, and doing something to them just because they had the ability would be wrong. There wasn't a reason for Luna to legally punish Sirius — he hadn't done a thing that would put him behind the bars.

Luna knew she and her sister were law, and any and every word of theirs was law as well. But would she be a good ruler if she did whatever she pleased? It would be tyranny, and Luna knew it would be no good for both herself and her subjects. She almost became a tyrant once, and she knew the consequences.

In truth, she felt depressed over it. What if she had killed anyone during her outburst? She would never forgive herself. More yet, she already couldn't forgive herself for almost dooming the entire world to eternal night. Not just ponies, but griffins, minotaurs, yaks, zebras, and a number of other nations across the world.

Luna sighed, lying down on a sofa. She felt tired and sad, especially after Sirius stirred a pot of bad feelings inside her, making her remember her own failings.

Luna felt she wasn't any better than Sirius. She had done a much worse thing that he could ever do, and she thought it was all her fault. She fell for her desires and lust, abandoned her sister in the name of being the only ruler, and almost murdered her in cold blood.

Celestia forgave her, of course.

But Luna... She couldn't forgive herself yet.

After Sirius got back to the apartment, he found out Iclyn had gone somewhere. He decided to use the time to thoroughly inspect the revolver.

First of all, he placed it and the box on the table. Then, he picked up the revolver and flicked the cylinder to the side. He ejected the bullets and looked at them. Four of them were ready to be shot while the fifth was an empty casing with scent and remains of gunpowder. He decided to place it inside the box as not to lose it.

Then, he looked at the four other bullets. One of them looked like it was fresh from the manufacturer while the others were dull. He frowned slightly, picking up that bullet and proceeding to look at it.

Indeed, it was fresh, even slightly oiled. Then, he compared it to a duller one. Indeed, there was a noticeable difference.

He couldn't understand why it was like that. The revolver had been lying underwater for maybe slightly more than a week, and there was nothing, no trace of corrosion or anything else, especially on the newer-looking bullet.

Sirius shook his head slightly and opened the metallic box to get a new bullet. To his great surprise, he didn't find the empty casing he put there. He checked twice, thrice, looked around, and yet there was nothing to be found.

The box itself was a big mystery. Sirius didn't remember having one in the first place.

His confusion grew. He decided to check an idea that had just appeared in his mind. So, he dissembled a bullet and put its parts separately inside the box. He closed it and reopened. The parts were gone, replaced by one whole bullet, ready to be used.

He figured out he would have infinite ammunition as long as he kept putting the casings into the box. At least he would be able to train his marksmanship. It wasn't that great in the first place, especially considering the high recoil of the hunting revolver. Perhaps magic would help him be more accurate.

All in all, he was satisfied with the state of his revolver. It was ready to be used, it had an infinite amount of ammo to constantly reload it without the fear of running out of bullets. There were still downsides: small bullet capacity and the need to reload, which wasn't fast at all. He didn't have the special bullet holder that could help him reload faster, and that was why he had to manually insert each bullet, and it took time.

So, he loaded the gun with fresh bullets, and then decided to hide it and the box between the wooden base of the bed and the mattress. He was sure no one would find it there. Also, he wasn't going to walk around with them — the less the world knew about his weapon, the better. He didn't want unnecessary questions.

Finally, he could allow himself to do something else. He decided to use his spare time to read the dictionary and Commonlang Grammar book. The latter was actually a rather thin book with only fifty pages, most of which were tests and tasks to complete in order to determine if the reader fully grasped the subject. Commonlang, while being a rather well-made language that didn't lack colorful metaphors or basically anything else related to the beauty of fiction and literature, was rather simple, and that was why Sirius had been able to learn so many things in such a short time.

He was also rather smart, even if not exactly gifted. He had faced many problems with the studies back when he was a human. Most of the said problems appeared later during his teenage years and were connected to his inner state of mind that gradually decreased over the years. Deep chronic depression, great stress, alarming suicidal tendencies, all of it lowered his desire to learn to the minimum. Without getting any help, he never returned to the state before his downfall, and it greatly impacted him.

While he had little desire to learn even as a pony, he understood clearly that knowing the language was absolutely necessary. Though, he found himself getting more interested in other subjects, mainly math and astronomy. He wanted to know if he was still in the same universe. Maybe the star patterns in the sky could tell them the truth. However, he would be much more content if Equestria and neighboring countries on the planet were indeed in another universe. In truth, he didn't want humans to find this place.

While he didn't outright hate all humanity, he held many deep grudges against it and deemed them unworthy of exploring space and encountering new intelligent beings. He doubted they would get that far without murdering themselves in another world war. To him, it was all too possible.

Sirius thought of ponies much better than humans. They were calmer, less prone to needless violence, not to mention that he hadn't heard of even robberies happening anywhere at all, and he read a couple of newspapers. Sure, there were some bad ponies, but they were easily punishable, unlike humans. Adults were more or less understanding of the problems, even the ruler of the country was reasonable, even to the point of not announcing an alien to the public or imprisoning him to study.

Overall, Sirius felt much better surrounded by ponies. He didn't expect them to suddenly turn on him. And if they did... Well, he could use his knowledge of self-defense to make sure the attackers would never assault anyone ever again. It would be very difficult to do once they were dead.

Indeed, Sirius didn't fear taking lives. He took his own — there was nothing harder than that, at least to him. He had nothing to lose as well. He didn't care about his belongings or his new life. Not to mention his mental health — he was damaged enough to not care about murdering people. If they stood in his way, he would clear it. He had the means to do whatever it would take for him to not die horribly, for it was what he feared the most. He didn't want to die in great pain. He wanted it to be quick or at least peaceful.

His line of thought was interrupted when Iclyn finally returning, carrying two large paper bags on her sides.

"Hey, I got us something to munch." she said, setting the bags on the floor. "You know, some vegetables, flowers, and some really great apple juice. C'mon, food won't eat itself!"

Sirius nodded, accepting one of the bags that was offered to him. He opened it and his nostrils were assaulted by a heavenly scent: fresh vegetables mixed with flowers.

First of all, he pulled out a daisy sandwich. He began to nibble on it while unpacking the rest of the food.

As promised, there were vegetables along with something else: some mashed potatoes, cucumbers, green onion, bell pepper, and some fried mushrooms, the name of which he didn't know. Then, there was a one and a half liter glass bottle of apple juice.

He didn't bother to cook anything, he ate everything as they were. He even drank the whole bottle in one go. Afterwards, he felt a sense of satisfaction and fullness. Indeed, the food was quite filling.

"I guess I'll have to buy some more food for supper." Iclyn said, surprised by the fact that Sirius had eaten so much in one go.

"..." Sirius considered saying something for a few moments. "Thanks."

He wanted to make sure he was polite. After all, Iclyn was nice to him, and he felt he should be at least bearable for her to live with. Thus, he shouldn't be aggressive to her or ignore her. He thought it would be beneficial if he was nice to her. After all, he wasn't a complete monster.

As for Iclyn, she wasn't surprised too much. After all, she expected most ponies to be nice to her, and nothing ever made her doubt it. Politeness was spread throughout the pony society, and frankly, almost every one of them used it every day.

Anyway, she needed to do the homework. She could think about politeness and Sirius later.

When the evening came, Sirius decided to go for a walk. Finishing up his supper, he stood up and went outside, not forgetting to grab the sword and buckle it against his side.

"Sirius," Iclyn called him as he was about to exit the apartment. "May I come with you?" her mind was slightly numb from all the homework, and she could use some fresh air.

"..." Sirius thought for a couple of moments. He wouldn't exactly mind some company. "Alright."

So, the filly and the former human went outside.

"Where do you usually go?" Iclyn asked as the two rounded a corner.

"I just walk until I feel it's time to go back." Sirius said. It wasn't exactly true. He would often go to the edge of the city and look down. Somehow, knowing that he could die if he wanted, the thought of it calmed him greatly. Besides, the wind was stronger there, and it felt good feeling it brushing against his skin. "But there is place... I sit there and... relax."

"Sounds good to me." the filly replied. She was slightly unnerved by the second pause in his sentence. It didn't feel right. He might've hidden something from her.

The two walked in silence for some time. There weren't many ponies in the streets. Most of them were royal guards patrols. They weren't necessary but made the citizens feel safe and secure nevertheless.

The city was almost completely asleep. The light provided by the lamp posts was soft and dim, blanketing the streets with warmth and somewhat comfortable feeling. Families ate their supper and prepared to go to sleep as the last rays of sunlight disappeared beyond the horizon. Truly, it was a peaceful sight of a wonderful world.

Soon, Sirius and Iclyn reached the spot. He sat near the edge, and only a tilt in its direction would decide his fate. The filly sat nearby. She knew she wouldn't fall, and she had wings to support herself.

"So, um, Sirius..." she began. "Ever since last night I wanted to ask you... What was the nightmare you saw?"

"..." Once again, Sirius thought before replying. He considered telling her partial truth. She was supportive of him, and he couldn't really say she asked him that question only for a talk. It was more than that. Besides, he wanted someone to be able to talk to. It was his chance. "I... I faced my fear." he finally said. "Face to face. I ran away, but it got me." Sirius sighed shakily. It was hard for him to speak of that. "I... I was powerless to do a thing."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Iclyn said softly. "As a young filly, I had a nightmare when I ran away from something, but couldn't really outrun it. It happened to me a couple of times, but I've not seen it for years." she looked down. A shiver ran down her spine as she realized how high the city really was. "Somepony says all dreams have a meaning. I don't remember what, though... Maybe there's something you need to do here to stop your own nightmares?" she looked at him.

"...Maybe." he knew it was true. He wouldn't admit it, though. Not yet. "I have... many problems." he let out a pained sigh. "But you already guessed it, didn't you?" he glanced at her.

"Well, um... I suspected it." Iclyn replied. "And... Sirius, maybe I can help you?" she saw his muscles becoming tense as his lips thinned. "If you don't mind, that is."

Sirius had to push away an aggressive response that was conjured immediately after her question. He wanted to have a friend, he didn't want to push her away.

"I..." he gagged. He couldn't believe he was honest with someone he barely knew. But maybe Iclyn had something to help him? He recognized he needed help. Getting it was another deal entirely, however. "I'm troubled." he looked at the filly. "Iclyn... I can't tell you much." he looked away. "I'm... not ready. I don't know you much." he made a small sigh. "What... what do you like to do?"

"I don't know..." Iclyn said slowly. She could let Sirius know more about her, especially if he would let her get closer and help him. "Well, I like to have fun, but everyone likes that, right? I also like flight. And... daffodils. They smell nice." she blushed slightly. She always found it so silly. "Aside from that... I dunno. Maybe I like getting to know ponies? I mean, I have really great friends and, I guess I just like being in a company of those I like and those that can understand me, and... Have fun with me."

Sirius listened patiently. He couldn't tell whether he liked her or not.

"You know... There are some questions that seem to have like, obvious answers, but are really hard." Iclyn continued. "So... Yeah. Um..." that moment was slightly awkward. "How did you get to Canterlot?"

"...I don't want to talk about that." Sirius said. He truly didn't — it was painful.

"I'm sorry..." Iclyn said softly. "And... Where are you from?"

"...Nowhere." he said.

"W-what?" the filly was puzzled. "What do you mean?"

"I..." the former human looked at her. "Don't want to talk about that." he stood up. He didn't want to stir bad memories more than necessary. "Let's go back."

Iclyn didn't say anything else. She could see the pain and fear in Sirius' eyes as he forced the words to come out of his mouth. It literally pained him to talk about that.

The filly didn't know why he didn't want to talk about his home. Surely he had a loving family to visit on weekends and holidays, right?

Author's Notes:

Slowly and painfully, Sirius is making some progress in his recovery. But it will take much more time than a few minutes of talk.

Chapter 26: Warmth and Steel

The night was calm and relaxing for Sirius. After the small walk, he felt much better and certainly sleepier. Thus, the soft veil of darkness enveloped him as soon as his head hit the bed. In his sleep, he snored softly, neutral expression on his face.

However, Iclyn couldn't fall asleep as her mind was occupied by Sirius. She saw how painful it was for him to talk about his past. What happened to him? The filly had no idea. Was he an orphan? Were his parents abusive? Iclyn couldn't know.

Sirius had shown that he wanted her to become his friend. He tried to start a conversation, but it fell apart as soon as his past was touched. He even openly admitted he was troubled inside, and Iclyn saw it as a sign of trust. Little by little, step by step the two became closer. Maybe they would become friends, it was only a matter of time.

But how long? How much time would pass before Sirius accepted the filly as his friend? It could be days, weeks, months, maybe even years. To her great sadness, Iclyn suspected it would be either of the latter two options. She had enough friends to know why friendship was so desired by many and so cherished by those who had it. She couldn't imagine why Sirius had doubts about befriending someone. Iclyn was friendly and supportive of him, and yet he hesitated. The filly suspected he was deeply hurt by someone he loved or cared about. Maybe his friends abandoned him in his time of need.

She knew one thing for certain — it would take a lot of time to bring Sirius out of his hard shell and into the light.

The question was — did he truly want to achieve it? Iclyn had no way of knowing. She knew he wouldn't tell her about it. He was simply not ready to lay out his thoughts to her.

When they walked in the pale moonlight, Iclyn finally noticed his scars. Most of those who had scars had only a few and only on their legs, maybe one or two on the barrel, but none had them on the face. There was a barely noticeable scar, hidden by fur — one that was between his left eye and the muzzle. It was small and straight. How did he receive it? Was it an accident or, dare she think, a fight? If it was the latter, why had he fought? Had he fought for his life?

Just where was that colt from to receive such a harsh treatment he didn't deserve?

Iclyn glanced at Sirius. He was sleeping peacefully, lying on his side away from her as if he tried to hide something. His chest raised and lowered with his each breath as he slept. Thankfully, nightmares didn't plague him.

Iclyn found a few new questions to ask. It was only a week she knew him, and he experienced nightmares twice. It wasn't impossible, but it brought some questions: couldn't Luna help him? Why was he having the nightmares? Iclyn remembered going over the first question in her mind some time ago. She figured out that maybe she could do something by herself.

The pegasus filly stood up from her bed and silently went to Sirius' one. She slowly got up on his bed, which was wide enough to support both of them. She got under the cover and hugged Sirius softly.

"I promise you everything will be alright." she whispered into his ear as she shared her warmth with him. "You know I'm here if you need me."

His tense body relaxed as he allowed himself to unconsciously drop his guard. A pleasant dream made its way into his mind as a small smile appeared on his face.

Iclyn sighed slowly and hugged him slightly tighter. She would guard his dreams on that night.

Sirius was walking down the street. It was slightly cold, the snow was falling from the sky. It was evening, the streetlights reflected from the shimmering white snow, illuminating the surroundings. Only a few cars passed by as the teenager made his way to a certain house. He held something in his hands — it was wrapped in old newspapers. He was certain that whoever he was going to give it to would be happy to receive it.

Soon, he reached his destination. It was a simply one-storeyed house. He stepped on the porch and knocked the door a few times. Soon, it opened, revealing a girl roughly his age. It was her. She had white skin, long dark-brown hair, hazel eyes, and a pleasant smile on her face.

"Oh, hi," she then called Sirius by his real name. "I didn't expect you to be here."

"I have a surprise for you," he said her name. He unwrapped the gift before her eyes. It was a set of three white roses — her favorites. "I... I just wanted to say, um..." he then called her name again, this time softly and lovingly. "I, I..." he extended his arm with the flowers. "I love you."

"Oh~" the girl blushed, accepting the flowers. "Come in. I think you need to get warm."

Sirius nodded happily and yet shyly, and then entered the house. The hall wasn't too big and hosted just a few wardrobes and a bench. He took off his jacket and hung it, and then proceeded to take off his winter boots and place them near the exit to dry from the snow that sticked to them during the walk to his beloved.

Then, he waited for her to invite him further, his heart aflame with love. He could barely wait. To his relief, the girl appeared at the doorway pretty soon.

"I prepared some tea, if you don't mind." she said with a smile on her face, gesturing for Sirius to enter. He smiled back and followed her with a happy spring in his step.

The two took seats at the table close to each-other. Sirius warmed his hands against the cup of tea. The flowers he brought were placed in a vase on the table he and his beloved were sitting at. Everything was peaceful and comforting, just,like Sirius wanted it to be.

Soon, the two sipped their tea in a comfortable silence, content with each-other's presence. Sirius was beaming with happiness, often glancing at the girl with love in his eyes. She was his, all his, and there was nothing between them. She hadn't yet said those three words, but Sirius felt the love already. He basked in its warmth, enjoying her presence. Finally, that moment had come, he confessed his feelings to his special person, the one who was by his side, the one who protected him, the one he inevitably had fallen in love with.

After the girl finished her own cup, she looked at Sirius and called him by his name. He turned to her, hope in his dark-green eyes. They were wide, taking in as much of the girl as they could.

"I wanted to say to you..." she blushed, her hand finding its way to Sirius'. She squeezed his palm softly, looking into his loving eyes. "I love you too."

The two leaned in and kissed on the lips. Sirius felt the soft texture of her lips, their taste, their warmth as he melted into the kiss, closing his eyes, enjoying it together with her. He was happy — not only did she return the feeling, she also kissed him! It was a heavenly feeling, one he would preserve for the rest of his life.

Only if it truly happened and wasn't just a wish-fulfilling dream.

Sirius opened his eyes. He was a pony, lying on his bed in the hostel. The dream quickly flied away, no matter how hard he tried to bring it back.

It was what it was — only a dream. A fantasy, nothing more.

And it pained him to the core. A lone tear rolled down his cheek, dripping onto the pillow. He couldn't go back in time and maybe find a way to make it all right. The past was the past. He must throw it away. However, he couldn't. It ate away at him, and yet he couldn't let his past go. He failed many times in his life, and the memories wouldn't ever fade.

He felt warmth against his back. He slowly turned his head and saw Iclyn hugging him as she slept.

Sirius clearly realized she made her way to his bed on purpose. Why? He certainly felt better with her hugging him, but why did she do that? He couldn't understand the motivation.

Though, the dream she brought was pleasant. What if she tried to protect him from the nightmares by lying next to him and hugging him? He couldn't say it didn't work. He couldn't say it didn't feel nice, too.

He allowed her to remain there. It would be better for both of them.

Iclyn was the first one to wake up in the morning. Carefully, she got up from the bed, not disturbing her roommate. It was time for school again, she needed to prepare herself.

As she started the shower, Sirius woke up. He had enough sleep to function properly during the day, and thus it didn't take long for him to stand up and stretch himself.

After Iclyn finished her preparations, Sirius went into the bathroom to clean himself up. First of all, he looked into the mirror. His face was still rather dark, the circles around his eyes remained, but the redness of the sclera disappeared. All in all, he looked more or less fine.

He quickly finished his morning routine and collected everything he needed into his saddlebags and went with Iclyn to the school.

By the end of the classes, he was bored. He didn't like sitting in the auditoriums listening to teachers and occasionally writing something down. It was history and math on that day, and both took two academic hours. Sirius hadn't displayed any particular interest in history, but he got very good at math, reaching the top of the class on that subject.

He was sitting in the cafeteria, eating his food peacefully, his sword strapped by his side. He never forgot to take it with himself, after all.

Later that day, he and Iclyn went to the sports hall for fencing training. It was more of a practice for Sirius, but it was welcome nevertheless.

"Alright, listen up!" Pride Fight said as everyone assembled. "The grand tournament is coming on the first weekend day! And thus, our club has the honor of participating in said tournament. One pony is required, no more and no less. But! All of you are welcome to watch and learn.

"The tournament is sponsored by our princesses, and thus is free of charge to participate in. I believe that the best candidate from our club is Sirius." the old stallion looked at the colt. "I become more rusty with each year, and I believe it is time the younger generation takes my place. I believe Sirius is a capable warrior, one that will bring fame and glory to our club.

"With this out of the way, here's the plan for today: dual wielding. It is mostly for unicorns, but pegasi can try it as well. Earth ponies do it all the time, and thus their training will proceed as usual. I'll tell you all more after the warmup."

As usual, Sirius prepared his body for the training, making sure it was as flexible as ever.

The trainer talked with each pony personally, asking about the tastes and which weapon they would prefer to be their second. Soon, the turn came to Sirius.

"I believe you are capable even with only one weapon." Pride Fight told him. "However, practice with something else won't hurt. Usually, longswords aren't paired with anything. However, there are quite a few options: a shield, a parrying dagger, or a shortsword. Each requires their own tactic, and each is pretty interesting. Say, have you used weapon pairings?"

"A couple of times." Sirius replied. "I guess I can choose shortsword as my second."

"Excellent! Let's proceed, then." the trainer said, and then left to pick up the shortsword.

Sirius had trained with weapon pairings, though he was much comfortable with just a longsword. However, he acquired magic, which meant that arms or hands would no longer be a problem for him. So, he could use a second weapon indeed.

Soon, Pride Fight returned with a shortsword. It was designed like most, featuring usual crossguard. However, the blade was shorter and narrowed towards the point, making the blade somewhat triangular in shape.

"Here it is." the old stallion said, handing the sword to Sirius. "It is a thrusting sword, more commonly known among the fencers as the estoc. It's not capable of cutting, but thrusts and stabs with it are perfect. Of course we're not going to use it for even as much as wounding our opponents. Well, aside from wounding their pride, but it is an elegant weapon. You can parry with it, and either use your main weapon or try to get a successful stab. Usually, the first option is easier. Are you ready to begin the training?"

Sirius nodded, and the training began.

He didn't have much problem parrying with the estoc and then using his longsword for attacking. All in all, it became easier to defend, especially considering that he didn't have hands or arms. He could turn the weapons in whatever direction he wanted, and thus he didn't have any trouble while using a second weapon. He didn't even hit the swords against each other even once since he had very good coordination that wasn't hindered by his anatomy.

"You're doing pretty well." Pride Fight said after a sparring session was over. "So, let's talk about the tournament now. Are you ready to defend the honor of our club?"

"Yes." Sirius nodded enthusiastically. "I can't wait to partake in the tournament!"

And he indeed couldn't. He always looked forward to taking part in the tournaments. Not only did they allow him to show and develop his skills, it was also a great way of unleashing all the emotions, concentrating wholly on the duel, feeling the adrenaline coursing through the veins, feeling the weight of a weapon in his hands, beckoning for him to take action. He always enjoyed those feelings.

"Good!" Pride Fight said. "Since it is a big tournament, there will be a few nominations. The obvious one requires you to beat all your opponents, of course. It is a skill-based nominations. However, there is another one — artistic. Fight with grace and honor. It is cherished by both nobles and the princesses, and thus will bring you not only fame but a great reward as well." the old stallion explained. "Basically, you get to beat the crap out of everypony both skillfully and with style. Got it?"

Sirius nodded, he understood everything perfectly.

"Excellent!" the trainer said. "So, when you get to the second stage, the actual tournament that is, try to fight with nobles gracefully. That is why you should dual wield — they love it. You can also apply magic to make your weapons glow or do something else, it is just as welcome.

"But there is another thing. You need a costume, a set of wonderful armor. Let me show you..."

***

Sirius was dressed in an old royal guard armor set with long piece of red fabric attached to its edges, resembling a cloak. The fabric had a couple of slits in the front and back, allowing Sirius' legs to move properly and without any problem. The armor set came with a helmet. However, unlike normal royal guard helmet, this one had the crest with red hair instead of standardized blue.

Beneath the armor, there was a rather thin gambeson that allowed some space between the metal and the skin, making everything pretty comfortable for Sirius.

"I'd say you look pretty good in this." Pride Fight said. "Try to move around and say how it feels.

Sirius did as asked. He jumped, crouched, walked and ran.

"It's alright." Sirius said. The armor, contrary to popular belief, wasn't heavy. Its weight was more or less evenly distributed across the pony body, making it almost unnoticeable even for someone as thin as Sirius. However, this one seemed particularly light. "Why is it so light?"

"It's for parades. The standard-issue armor is certainly heavier." the old stallion replied. "You won't need it as actual protection. Though, it would still work nicely in some combat situations... Alright, I suppose you can use it during the tournament."

"Thank you, sir." Sirius said with respect. Then, he took the armor off. It was rather easy as he had to just unstrap individual pieces of armor and take off the helmet. Then, he took off the cap that was under the helmet, and finally took off the gambeson.

"I suppose that's all for today." Pride Fight said. "Now, I need you to do some light sparring with the novices, and when time's up — go home and rest, just as usual. I'll be nearby if anything happens."

Author's Notes:

Soon, Sirius will have his chance to show his combat skills in front of both princesses and even more other ponies, including those who have great influence. I wonder how it will turn out...

Chapter 27: Hospital

The next few days passed without anything important happening. Sirius studied and trained, preparing for the tournament; Iclyn studied and trained, and also spent her nights with him, lying by his side, giving warmth to him. She thought Sirius didn't suspect a thing. However, he knew what she was doing at nights and simply allowed her to be so close to him. It was warm and comfortable, and he didn't have nightmares ever since she started doing it. Overall, he didn't feel the need to push her away.

After that one dream, no other appeared. Sirius saw only blank void devoid of anything, but still warm and welcoming. The change was good — it allowed the former human to finally relax and have good, undisturbed sleep. He began to wake up refreshed and ready for the day ahead. Even the dark circles around his eyes became less prominent to the point where they became bleak shadows, almost completely unnoticeable. Overall, his face became less threatening and certainly much less creepy.

However, his figure remained the same — thin, almost unhealthily so. He didn't care for it much, but Iclyn was worried about him. He ate but didn't gain any weight whatsoever. Why was it happening? Iclyn was unsure. She didn't know if she could help him with it either. She hoped he would search for a way to fix his body shape.

Her hopes were answered just a few days before the tournament. After the lessons on that particular day, it was announced that all students of her class were to pass a yearly medical examination. During it, all ponies in the class needed to go through magical scan to determine whether there was anything bad with their body in terms of its function, and then pass a couple of tests, including those on hearing, eyesight, muscle reflexes, dietitian, dentist, and finally a psychologist. Then, a conclusion would be made and each pony would receive personal advice on how to keep good health and stay fit.

Sirius was fine with everything excluding the last doctor. He would need to be especially careful with that one or else something bad might happen to him. He was sure that he would get locked up in a mental hospital probably indefinitely — he believed his issues were too deep to be cured by what doctors had to offer. He would most likely be sedated and put in a straightjacket, and then forgotten in a soft-walled room where he would remain for the rest of his miserable, drug-filled life. He would die with his mouth salivating and his eyes wide open in madness.

He couldn't allow it to happen — he didn't want to spend what was left of his life on hard drugs.

With those dark thoughts in his mind, he awaited his turn at the magical scan. Unfortunately, there were only two ponies that could perform the needed spell and decipher the results, and thus the line moved slowly since it took a few minutes to complete the scan. Iclyn was sitting by his side, glancing at him nervously. He was much too quiet and focused on something she didn't know.

Suddenly, a crack sounded from the outside. Everyone turned their heads towards the nearest windows and looked. A few moments later, a flash appeared in the sky. Five seconds later, the loud crack sounded.

"Oh no..." Iclyn said fearfully.

"It is just thunder." Sirius said calmly. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know where you come from, but a thunderstorm is bad news." the filly replied. "It is an outburst of uncontrollable weather energy. We will have to wait here for hours, maybe even a whole day until it ends. Going outside during it can be dangerous, especially with all those lightnings around. You carry metal, and it's really bad when there's thunder outside."

Sirius frowned. He didn't expect to be stuck in the hospital for longer than needed. Alas, he could wait. It wasn't like the thunderstorm would last forever.

Only a few moments after that lightning, a heavy rain started, greatly limiting the vision.

The former human sighed. He'd be better if he were back at the apartment. He didn't like hospitals much. He hoped they had at least some sort of food and maybe even entertainment. He didn't want to die from boredom, that's for sure.

Finally, his turn came. He stepped into the room and was greeted by a unicorn.

"Good day!" he said, a confident smile on his face. "Please, step on the red square on the floor. Don't move, and I promise it won't take long."

Sirius complied without a word. Soon, the doctor lighted his horn, and the former human felt a tingle going up and down his body.

In a minute, everything was done.

"Well, it seems everything is fine." the doctor said in conclusion. "Though... there is something different about you. However, everything is within the borders. But I must say that you are unhealthily thin. I'd recommend talking with a dietitian — she knows more than I do. Now, proceed to the second floor to the room two hundred."

Sirius nodded and left. He was certain that his eyesight and hearing were at least good if not perfect. He was also sure his muscles functioned properly. He didn't do fencing for nothing, after all. Years of training definitely paid off in the right way.

***

As expected, he passed those three doctors without a hitch. His hearing was actually sharper than average, and his eyesight was indeed perfect. It was the time to go through the last three remaining doctors. First of all, Sirius went to the dietitian.

"Oh my, you look extremely unhealthy, colt!" the doctor said, looking at Sirius from all sides. "Malnutrition... I know that teen years can be hard, but you don't have to starve yourself to death! How much do you even eat?"

"A lot, it doesn't help." Sirius replied. "I was told it's, um... er... passes through generations."

"Ah, genetic? Forgive me, I didn't know. Well, it may be..." the doctor tapped her chin. "I will think about your case. Check in with other doctors and return to me as soon as you're finished, alright? We'll certainly figure something out, young stallion."

Sirius nodded. He had no problem with that, he was patient enough. Besides, it didn't look like he was going anywhere anytime soon anyway.

So, he only had a dentist and a psychologist to pass. He decided to leave the latter for later.

A few minutes later, he entered the needed room.

"Good day!" the dentist greeted him. "Please, come sit there." he gestured at a rather small hospital bed. Sirius complined, getting onto it and sitting on his haunches. "Alright, open your maw wide and let me look at those teeth. I hope you've not been eating too much junk food."

Sirius opened his mouth, revealing a row of perfect white teeth, including two pair of rather noticeable fang-like canines: two bigger ones on the upper jaw, and two smaller on the lower.

"Oh my... Lunar pegasi ancestry, eh?" the doctor said. "In perfect condition, too..." he added, using a small mirror to look at the back side of the teeth. "Though, if you'd like them removed..."

Sirius shook his head.

"Alright, then." the doctor nodded. "But if they give you any trouble, don't be afraid to check them by a dentist. Many actually don't know, but many illnesses are connected with the maw and how it works. You may go, have a nice day!"

It went perfectly, the former human was sure he didn't spend more than just a few minutes. His teeth were fine, that was all that mattered. He was glad he cleaned his teeth each morning.

Onwards to the next and the last doctor — the psychologist. Sirius hadn't seen one until that very moment — he could hide his feelings well enough to fool others into believing he didn't need one. Besides, he last visited a hospital a very long time ago, and the only reason he visited it in Equestria was its mandatory state and his desire to keep the disguise of just another, albeit strange, pony.

Fearfully, he entered the office. What if the doctor could read minds? It would be bad for Sirius.

However, the office looked rather welcoming, having a homely and comfortable feeling to it. Even the doctor himself wasn't dressed in the lab coat, option for casual nude look instead. He was pretty young by Sirius' standards, probably still in his twenties. He bore a small welcoming and honest smile.

"Hello, young stallion." the doctor greeted Sirius politely. "Come, take a seat, please."

Sirius did as asked, sitting on a comfortable pillow right in front of the doctor. It wasn't uncomfortably close, leaving some distance between them.

"I'm Soul Prescription." the doctor introduced himself. Sirius chuckled in his mind at the name. He thought pony names were silly sometimes. "Pleased to meet you."

"I'm Sirius." the former human introduced himself. "Likewise."

"Ah, Sirius... I've heard about you." the doctor tapped his chin. "Why, yes... I'm going to be honest with you, your attitude is... unusual, to say the least. However, I don't mean that you're strange, bad or weird. We are all individuals, and all of us have certain characteristics." the doctor paused, watching Sirius' reaction. So far, there wasn't one. "Unfortunately, it came to my attention that you are... violent. Can you tell me why is it so?"

"I give them what they give me." Sirius replied. He decided to be honest with that one. "I haven't hurt anypony but bullies, and bullies hurt other ponies. I couldn't allow them to hurt me or continue hurting others."

"Ah, so it seems that your self-defense was overly exaggerated and was presented to me as needless aggression. Thankfully, it was proven untrue. Desire to protect yourself and others from harm is natural, and sometimes resorting to violence might be the only way, I can understand that." Soul nodded. "So..." his eyes shifted towards the longsword Sirius was carrying. "This is why you carry a weapon, I presume?"

"Yes." the former human nodded. "I also do fencing."

"I admire your pursuit of this noble art." Soul's smile widened slightly. "But... it seems your body isn't fit enough." a disappointed glance passed over Sirius' thin frame.

"It is genetic. I eat but I don't get much weight." Sirius explained. "Maybe the doctors will find way to help me."

"It would be good for not only your physical health, but your mental as well. It is as a saying goes: a healthy mind is in a healthy body." the doctor nodded. "So, is there anything you would like to talk with me about? Don't worry, we doctors respect our patients' privacy, and thus everything that you say here will stay secret as long as said secret doesn't hurt you or others."

"There isn't anything else." Sirius replied firmly. Maybe even much too firmly. The doctor just looked at him without saying anything for a few moments.

"Alright, then. But remember — do not hesitate when there are problems. We're here for you, and we can help." Soul nodded yet again, this time slower. "It was a pleasant conversation. I hope we would be able to meet someday as ponies, not as a doctor and a patient. Good day to you, young stallion."

Sirius nodded, stood up and left.

The conversation he had left confusion and disorder inside him. On one hand, he was pleasantly surprised — the psychologist was not how the former human expected him to be. He wasn't intrusive or annoying, he was honestly caring and obviously liked his job, liked helping ponies. It was the first impression the former human got.

However, Sirius wasn't going to trust him — he was just too much a stranger. Sirius had no fear of strangers or doctors, but he disliked both for the same reason he disliked most of humanity, including himself. Pony or not, they had intelligence, and trusting someone who can speak or even understand him wasn't a very good idea in his mind.

***

"I suppose I understand your case now." the dietitian said after Sirius returned. "It seems your body lacks protein, which is vital in many bodily processes. Judging by the presence of long canines and the fact that the magical scan you had passed at the beginning tells me even more, it is apparent your digestive system is omnivorous, capable of consuming many other kinds of food regular ponies can't process. Thus, you need meat to sustain yourself." the doctor tapped her chin. "So... You can get fish and chicken eggs in the griffin shop at the edge of the city. They deal in meat and other protein-containing animal products." she handed him a piece of paper. "Here's my prescription, it will allow you to get some food free of charge. It should be enough to sustain and develop your body. The prescription also includes the certain address of the place you need."

"Thank you." Sirius nodded, securely packing the prescription in the belt.

"Alright, good luck to you, young stallion!"

As a storm raged outside, Sirius found himself sitting at a window and looking in the rain. As he discovered, the only books the local library had were of medicine, and he had no interest in it. He discovered a decent cafeteria, which he then proceeded to metaphorically raid for food, which was of mediocre quality but still sated him.

It was predicted that the storm would last until morning, and thus beds were prepared for the students. However, they had no intention of going to bed yet; instead, they chatted their time away and played different games, including tag, hide-n-seek, and some other games.

Sirius, however, continued to sit and stare out the window. He didn't feel like doing anything else. All those ponies, maybe with an exception of Iclyn, didn't matter to him at all. He preferred solitude over fun. He didn't mind fun with a close circle of people, but with total of more than five? He lacked both willingness and courage to make such a huge step of socialization. He wasn't and couldn't be ready for it in all of his short life full of problems with different people, including those he thought he knew well.

"Hey, Sirius?" he heard someone calling him. He turned his head and caught Wave Rider in the corner of his eye. "Um... Wanna play some Truth or Dare?"

Sirius thought. Maybe he should, especially if it considered ponies around him. He could make up whatever they would ask him about, and he would be able to learn more about his classmates, which might prove useful in the future.

So, the question was — should he take the chance or ignore those ponies?

Author's Notes:

I suggest that you, my dear readers, answer the last question. Should Sirius play or should he not?

Tell me if you think he should and why he should, and if not — tell me why he shouldn't. I'm interested in seeing how well you can understand Sirius and his actions, not to mention how he can use information to get benefits. However, you should remember that he is hiding the real truth down below, deep inside his wretched mind.

So, should he do it or not?

Chapter 28: Truth or Dare

Sirius remembered he knew something about that game. At least he understood what it meant and the translation to his own language made sense as well.

"What are the rules?" he asked. He needed to be careful before accepting or denying. He was an enigma to others, and he had to weigh all options with much thought.

"Well, we have this." Wind Rider levitated an empty apple juice bottle. "We all sit in the circle and spin the bottle. Whomever it chooses, will pick either truth or dare. The bottle is then spun again, and the next pony thinks about the questions to ask or a challenge to give. If the bottle stops at the same pony twice, he or she gets to choose anypony else and pick whatever he or she wants. Also, one, um, first pony can't be picked twice in a row."

Sirius thought. The rules seemed to be fair enough, and he would get to have some fun and maybe even find something more about the ponies in his class.

"Um, guys, girls, I think we shouldn't, like, ask too personal questions." Iclyn spoke up. "Really, nopony likes those anyway."

Most ponies agreed with her. Sirius suspected Iclyn did it on purpose — for him. He looked at her and saw her eyes moving away from his direction, confirming his thoughts. She did it for him indeed. He silently thanked her, and his trust in her grew. She indeed cared for him and understood him to a certain extent. He felt warmth in his heart — he didn't expect such care and protection. She made it all subtle, without making him the center of attention, and he liked it. Would she express her desire to protect him vocally, he would get very angry. He was thankful he didn't have to.

"Alright, I will play." Sirius nodded. He could always lie if he needed to. Besides, there would be no personal questions, which was good for him. The only downside to the game was effectively removed.

After Sirius took his place, the bottle was spun for the first time. It pointed at a pony Sirius didn't know, and thus didn't care about much. The bottle was spun again, and it once again pointed at a pony the former human had no interest in. A silly dare was made, and the first pony had to stand on two hooves for ten seconds.

The game went on like this for a couple of minutes until Iclyn was chosen as the first pony.

"I pick... Truth." she said reluctantly.

The bottle was spun again, and it pointed at yet another pony Sirius didn't know.

"Alright..." that pony said, and they were a filly roughly Iclyn's age, maybe slightly younger. "Have you kissed Sirius?"

Sirius looked at the filly. He couldn't believe such a blatant question was asked. However, his expression remained neutral, including the color of his face. He was slightly angry at that filly but he knew he couldn't show it. After all, it was just a silly question in a silly game. He had to remind himself that he shouldn't get angry at something like this.

"I said no personal questions!" Iclyn blushed. Sirius analyzed her. She was quite flustered and glanced at him, yet trying to avoid his eyes. However, it was just frustration and the nature of the question that brought the blush to her cheeks, nothing else and nothing more. Sirius was sure no feelings were involved. And if they were, he would make sure they wouldn't develop beyond simple friendship.

"But have you?" the filly asked again.

"No, and stop asking questions like that!" Iclyn said with a slight hint of anger in her voice.

"Okay, sorry..."

After the bottle was spun again, Sirius was chosen.

"I pick dare." he said. He decided to be careful and see if any more personal questions came up.

After another spin, the bottle pointed at a very familiar filly. It was Coral, Sirius remembered her from the treehouse party he had been at a couple of days ago.

"Um, show us your sword." she said.

"That's what she said." someone whispered aloud, and the ponies erupted in laughter. Even Sirius cracked a smile.

"I don't mean that!" Coral said, flustered. "I mean the weapon!"

"If it's big enough, it can be used as one." someone said, and laughter exploded once again.

"It can shoot, too!" someone added, much to everyone's amusement.

"Come on, guys, it's not funny!" the poor filly blushed hard, looking anywhere but not at Sirius. He couldn't help but chuckle at the suggestive nature of the jokes. He didn't like the subject, but it wasn't about his personal taste or issues with it, so he was fine.

After everyone calmed down, Sirius unsheathed the bladed weapon for everyone to see.

"I kinda expected some, like, Old Language writings." Coral said in disappointment, looking at the side of the blade. "This just looks... boring."

Sirius just shrugged and put the weapon back inside the sheath. So far, everything went smoothly.

The bottle was spun a few more times until it was Sirius' turn once again. However, this time he chose truth.

"Would you spend seven minutes in heaven with somepony?" he was asked.

"Seven minutes where?" Sirius asked in turn since he didn't know the word.

"Nah, it's all one thing — seven minutes in heaven." a pony explained. "You choose someone, and then you spend seven minutes in a dark place all by yourself. You could do all sorts of stuff."

"Yeah, kissing, having sex, or talking if you don't want the first two." another pony added. "Or just do nothing, but it's really boring."

"..." Sirius needed to consider the answer he was going to give properly. If he said yes, then he would probably get dared to do it. If he said no, it would be strange. Overall, it was a trap without escape. He decided to answer more or less neutrally. "Maybe."

Sirius didn't understand the sudden attraction he got from fillies. He never talked to anyone outside a couple of ponies, he never took part in popular games like hoofball or volleyball, he didn't consider himself good-looking, and he certainly wasn't looking for a girlfriend, or fillyfriend in that particular case. Nothing made sense to him.

However, it might have been his appearance as a foreign mystery, and he remembered some girls liked mysterious guys. It was probably the case with him, but he didn't seek attention or any sort of close relationship, and especially intimacy, romantic or not. He didn't want anything like that, and he had reasons for that as well. Reasons he would rather keep hidden forever.

He noticed that some fillies looked at him with interest after he answered the question. Maybe it wasn't right for him to be so elusive, but it couldn't be changed now. He fell right into a trap.

Sirius didn't get it. He never strived for attention, especially in his teens, but he was somehow getting it more and more. What was the reason?

Suddenly, the bottle chose the same pony in both spins. It was a filly, and a mischievous smile appeared on her face as she looked at Sirius and then at Iclyn. The former felt something bad was going to happen.

"I dare... Sirius." she began. The former human didn't like it at all. "To spend seven minutes in heaven... with Iclyn."

"C'mon, it's just so... ugh!" Iclyn stomped angrily. "Why are you all so obsessed with it? Really, we all agreed on nothing personal, ponies! Like, I get it that you think there's something between us, but we're just roommates! Like, seriously, stop!"

Sirius couldn't agree with Iclyn more. It was getting out of hand.

"So, you're a chicken?" the filly taunted.

"It's not that! Ugh..." Iclyn covered her blushing face with one of her wings. "I can't believe... Alright, I'll do it." she stood up, grumbling. Sirius knew nothing intimate would happen and thus followed her without a word. He wasn't going to utter a single word — any of them could be potentially used against him. Besides, Iclyn spoke his own thoughts, there was no need for more words.

Soon, they were all alone in a small room. They were locked from the outside and left without a light.

"Ugh, this is so stupid..." Iclyn muttered under her breath. Sirius nodded, even when he was sure she couldn't see it. "The heat week is over, why are they all still acting like that?"

"Heat week?" Sirius asked with interest and confusion.

"You must be from really far away to not know what it is." Iclyn sighed. "Probably there's a word in your language... Look, at the beginning and the end of the summer, there is a heat week, which is when mares go out and search for, well, just a quick fuck. We're all very horny, aroused, and we just so want to have our backside stuffed we can barely control it sometimes."

To Sirius, it almost sounded like it was a rape week. He didn't like it at all.

"Stallions don't really mind, but if somepony doesn't want it then it's alright — there are plenty of other stallions around." Iclyn sighed once again, feeling the literal heat on her cheeks. "This heat was my first, and I really didn't know what to do. I didn't have a coltfriend to do it with but I didn't want to just... give myself to a random stallion. It's just... not right. I get why most like it, but..."

"I didn't need to know that." Sirius injected a couple of words. And he really didn't need the details of Iclyn's personal life, especially the intimate part of it.

"I'm sorry, it's just... I'm so frustrated! I guess the lack of a colt and these dumb classmates made me slightly lose my mind right here." the filly replied. "So... um... Well, if you want to, I guess we could, you know, do it. Maybe it'll help with the stress?"

"No." Sirius replied a little bit too firmly it almost scared Iclyn.

"Yeah, just a thought... More of a joke, really." Iclyn let out a long drawn-out sigh. "We just have to wait here for... I don't know, some time. Can't wait to get out of here and do something else..."

Sirius nodded. Frankly, he would be fine if both himself and her were silent for the rest of their stay there. He didn't want to talk at all, the most he wanted to do was to go to sleep and rest. Taking part in Truth or Dare proved to be a wrong decision he regretted. He would need to remind himself later that this game wasn't his type at all, especially with someone as annoying as his classmates. He was right about not wanting to socialize — he would be perfectly fine if he just stayed only with Iclyn. After all, she had yet to make him doubt his trust in her, and the trust only increased with each day the two spent together.

Iclyn helped him with both his homework and his classwork, explaining to him how certain tasks were needed to be done. She also helped him on a personal level, reducing the nightmares, letting him have a healthy and undisturbed sleep, something he hadn't had for a long while. She was genuinely interested in helping him, and she did everything out of kindness, not expecting anything in return. It was something Sirius hadn't seen for a long time.

He learned one thing from the game — if he wanted to stay with someone, it would be only Iclyn. She was the only one he could trust. She was the most mature one among the ponies that surrounded him, she was the only one Sirius could relate to.

"Iclyn..." he called, remembering something he needed to tell her. "Did you... um... said that there shouldn't be personal questions because, um... you, uh..." he found it particularly difficult to express his thoughts at that moment. "Did you do it for me?"

"Uh, yes. I see how really uncomfortable you are about personal stuff." the filly replied, nervously shifting in place. She couldn't understand if Sirius was angry or fine about it. "I get why some ponies wouldn't like to talk about it. I mean, you told me you can't trust me much because you don't know me well enough. That's fair." she shrugged. "But, you know, if you ever need me to help — just ask. I won't tell anypony. Especially the classmates — they're just stupid." she huffed, sitting on her haunches.

"Thank you." Sirius said with genuine respect and friendliness. Iclyn was indeed mature if she said those things honestly. "I... will remember that."

Chapter 29: Can't Hold It Anymore

Iclyn was completely infuriated — her classmates decided to leave her and Sirius in that room for the whole night. When she thought they would let them out, they threw in some sleeping bags, food and water, and, unsurprisingly, a pair of magical pills. The filly blushed hard when she found the latter and threw it into the nearby trash bin.

"What were those?" Sirius asked with interest.

"Ugh..." Iclyn muttered. "This is a last-longer-pills for stallions... Where did they get those anyway?"

Sirius was quite annoyed at the behavior of his classmates. He didn't have anything against a good prank or two, but for him what they did was stepping over the line. Especially after they decided to lock the two in one room. Thankfully, there was a bathroom behind a nearby door, one that wasn't locked. So, surviving the night wouldn't be as hard as the two expected.

While the room Sirius and Iclyn were in had beds, sleeping bags added to the comfort. Actually, the bags were too big and could probably fit two Sirius-sized ponies inside with some space left. The former human didn't know whether it was sexually suggestive in nature, considering how the classmates saw him and his roommate.

"Ugh, I can't seem to find a zipper..." Iclyn said. "Can you give some light?" Sirius complied, making his horn glow. It was enough for her to be able to find the zipper. She turned to thank him for the light. "Thanks, Si— OH FUCK!" she jumped away from him.

Sirius immediately jumped to the side while turning around. Surprisingly, there was no one and nothing dangerous. He turned back to Iclyn.

"What is wrong?" he asked, confused.

"Oh my gosh... My heart is beating so hard right now..." Iclyn said, breathing heavily. "The light from your horn makes you look really scary. Like, empty eye-sockets, and a creepy smile. Jeez, I didn't know you had such sunken cheeks... You look creepy, dude."

Sirius walked into the bathroom and looked at himself in the mirror. Indeed, the horn cast a very peculiar shadow that made him look like a nightmarish version of himself. His deeply seated eyes were hidden in shadow, and his sunken cheeks created an eerie, fearsome smile that was too wide to be natural.

He was no longer surprised why it scared Iclyn. It didn't scare him, though — he had seen much worse things both in his dreams and reality. It just didn't do anything to him.

So, he decided to take a shower while he was at it. He did it quickly enough and soon came out of the bathroom.

"Alright, my turn." Iclyn said, passing Sirius and into the bathroom. A few clicks were heard before a frustrated groan came out. "These little... They took out this light, too." her head appeared in the doorway. "Sirius, mind helping me out? I kinda need light, I see literally nothing."

Sirius nodded, and then followed her into the bathroom. Finally, with a decent enough illumination, Iclyn was able to get into the bathtub and start showering. Accidentally, she flashed her privates at Sirius, who quickly looked away. He didn't want it at all. He knew that ponies were nude most of the time, and he himself was a pony, but that accident was more than he wanted to see.

"Hey, where did the light go?" Iclyn asked, turning her head to Sirius. "Don't be shy I don't really mind you being here. Like, you're just helping, nothing more." a blush appeared on her cheeks. "Ugh, why am I blushing? It's nothing sexual, I swear! I mean, you've probably seen my stuff, but hey, we're all nude anyway. I... Uh, sorry, I guess I rambled again. I really need to sleep to get my head right..." she sighed.

Sirius agreed silently. Sleeping would be the best thing for them to do. And not in the sexual meaning, too.

He didn't exactly fear close contact, at least not with females, even not with mares. He didn't care, really. However, the intimacy, sex, anything related to that was off limits, completely and utterly bashed into the deepest area of his mind. He would never do it.

Sirius pushed away those thoughts. He didn't want to remember the events that caused it.

After Iclyn finished showering, the former human took off the longsword, hid it under the mattress, and then slipped into his sleeping bag. It was soft and comfortable inside, he could even completely hide there if he wanted.

However, there was one thing that was missing.

It was Iclyn hugging him. She would make his night complete, and he didn't want to sleep without her. He feared nightmares would appear again. He realized he couldn't do without Iclyn close to him.

It was a moment of shame and frustration. Sirius never wanted to depend on anyone, but he found out that there was one pony he had to rely on. He wouldn't admit he was glad that it was like that, but deep inside he knew it was right. He was past the point of no return. He would either have to accept his need or face the nightmares.

Sirius decided to choose the first option. Iclyn already helped him a lot, and developing the relationship with her would be good for the former human. He desperately needed her, he couldn't resist it. He knew he needed her to be in his life. Who else could take that place? All people that he trusted were either dead or unreachable, and he wasn't sure he would last on its own for long. His depression was strong, and he needed a cure.

"Iclyn..." Sirius called slowly, making up his mind. Deep inside, he was just a shy boy who deeply feared closeness and relationships. But he could see no reason not to trust Iclyn. He needed her.

"Mmh?" she replied, rolling around on her bed to face him.

"I... I know that you slept, um, with me during nights." he said.

Iclyn's blood froze. What was he going to do? Was he angry? Was he acceptive?

"I... I am fine with it. I knew you did it." he continued, alleviating the fear Iclyn felt. "Can... can you, um, lie with me... please?" he almost begged. He needed that warmth to live. He didn't want to survive, he wanted to live.

"Mmh-hm." Iclyn nodded, got out of her sleeping bag and walked to Sirius' bed. He unzipped the bag and let her in. They were face to face, eye to eye.

"Iclyn... I..." Sirius gulped. He wanted to say something, to thank her for all she did. "Thank you for all you do. I... You don't know how, um... How happy I am to, to have you... here." he said, hugging her softly as if he was afraid too much force would break her. "Iclyn, I... I..." he desperately wanted to tell her about his problems. At least one of them. "I don't have a-anypony... just you." he found tears in his eyes. "I... I'm alone, and..." he sniffed. "D-do you want to be... my friend? Please?" and now, he was begging. His desperation grew as painful memories of betrayal resurfaced. "I... I was betrayed, and I... I want someone... Just someone to be with me. I... Iclyn, I..." he found it hard to speak as tears streamed down his face. He was letting out his bottled up emotions. He needed a release, and he felt Iclyn could maybe understand him. The floodgates were creaking under the pressure of his suppressed emotions.

"Sirius..." the pegasus filly said, stroking his back with her wing. "I will be your friend. Everypony... everyone deserves to have friends, including you. I can see that you're hurt. I'm sorry bad things happened to you, but I will try to help you."

"Yes, I need help!" Sirius said slightly louder, desperation and pain clear in his voice. "But... I don't... I'm no sure." he sniffed. "You are great friend, you never made me doubt you, but I fear. Y-you won't betray me, will you? P-please, don't betray me.... I... I, I've not had friends for years, and... I like you." he confessed. "But it was so short... I don't know you much, but I... I feel I should trust you." he pressed his head against her chest as he curled up in a ball of anxiety and chronic depression. "You are friend I always wanted. Y-you truly help, and... I... You... I just..." he sighed shakily. "Don't tell anyone, please? Don't... betray me." he feared this betrayal more than anything. He already let her hear many things he wouldn't normally say. He showed his sensitive side to her, one thing he couldn't show to just anyone.

"I won't betray you, I swear." Iclyn replied, tightening her embrace, making Sirius feel accepted. "Sirius... Oh, Sirius, I didn't know you were so... damaged. What was done to you?"

"Life..." he said. "Life there, my life before here... Before Equestria. I..." he gulped and then sniffed. "I almost died. I just... I just didn't want to live." he looked at her. Iclyn's eyes were wide, her ears folded against her skull, her maw slightly agape in shock. "This place... it gives hope. You... give hope. Ponies... are nice to me. They make me hope. Few not, but most are. Jokes... harmless jokes, mostly. I don't like some, but they not harm." he completely lost the ability to build coherent sentences. "I... I like ponies."

"Sirius, are you not a pony?" Iclyn asked in confusion.

"I wasn't before I am here." Sirius replied. "I had life... Not life, survival... Just before here, I survived. Not lived, just... crawled." he couldn't stop himself. He was going to reveal the big truth about himself. He wanted her to hear it and either accept him or reject him. He hoped it would be the former. Otherwise, he would have no reason to live, not even to survive. He wouldn't admit it, but she was his everything, the only person he held on to for dear life. "Iclyn, I... I'm from, um... another... world. Just, I'm not mad, it true! I... I would show if I could, trust me, please! It was... just swimming in, in a swamp." he sighed shakily. "I wanted so much more, but I got... torture." tears rolled down his face as his whole body shook and shivered as if he was cold. "I... I killed myself. But I not died — I got here." he was afraid to look up at Iclyn. What if she didn't trust him? He already wanted to run and hide, put a bullet through his head to end it all. Fear and anxiety engulfed him — the filly would never believe him. He didn't think she would.

"I... I don't know what to say." Iclyn said, shock and surprise on her face as some tears appeared in her eyes. She couldn't believe what she was hearing, but she had to accept that it was truth. Sirius couldn't lie to her, she saw it in his begging purple eyes. There was a spark of hope in them, great sadness and pain, and yet some joy. "But I believe you, and I will help you. I won't tell anyone. Sirius... Thank you for trusting me." she hugged him closer. "Let it all out. Cry, it is alright... You went through bad stuff. Whatever world you came from did bad things to you, but you will never have to experience them again. I will help you. Now, sleep. You need it."

"T-thanks..." Sirius said shakily and nervously. "I... I will try to trust you more. You deserve trust, Iclyn." he made a small smile and looked up at her. "Thank you for, for listening to me. No one else would do it for me... No one did before." he sighed, this time less shakily as he calmed down. "You ponies are nice. I don't want to go anywhere else. I want to live with you. Just... please, let me! I will be good, I promise!" new tears appeared on his face as he quickly lost the control again. "I love this world, I don't want to go!"

"No one will make you go." Iclyn assured him. "Sleep now, Sirius. New morning is coming. Enjoy your new life. You won't have to suffer anymore. Whenever you are ready, I will listen to you. Any and all your problems. Don't hide them, just talk to me. I will help you, Sirius, I promise."

"Please... Hold this promise." Sirius said. "Otherwise... I will die. I have nothing... You ponies are why I live. You give life to me. Don't let me go, please..."

"Ssh, sleep." Iclyn caressed him softly. "I will help you... Sleep..."

The two soon fell asleep in each-others' embraces. Sirius finally allowed himself to let someone know of his true origins. It was an impulsive decision, one he thought he would maybe regret later, but he couldn't hold it anymore.

He died once and was reborn. He was falling into nothingness, he was being eaten alive by himself. His doubts, fears, his hesitation nearly cost him his life.

It was a long road, but he had started. He just hoped it would lead somewhere, and not to his death. He was sick of it, he was sick of constant sadness and desire to die, he couldn't stand loneliness anymore. He wanted to live. He wanted to enjoy living. He wanted to have friends.

The talk was a great step for Sirius. He didn't know why he suddenly exploded in feelings, but there was no going back. His heart was telling him to trust Iclyn, and he did. He let her see what was inside him: pain, suffering, and misery.

He just hoped she would help him mend his deep wounds.

Author's Notes:

It might've been quick, but it was Sirius' impulsive decision. Accidentally, he broke the dam, and the flood of emotions overcame him. He was desperate for kindness and friendship, he couldn't hold it anymore.

Maybe he would finally live. It depends on how well his self-imposed treatment will go.

Chapter 30: Consequences and Preparations

Sirius awoke first in the morning. He had a pleasant and undisturbed sleep. He opened his eyes and, to his great fear, saw Iclyn. He was face to face with her, hugging her tightly. She was still asleep, breathing deeply, a small smile on her face.

He told her too much. He didn't know what to do next — should he run or should he stay? He confessed his deep feelings, he told her of his fears, he showed her his weak and sensitive side, one he had buried inside a long time ago. It was the first time in ages since he had shown it, and it scared him.

He couldn't run from Iclyn, not after what he told her, not after he broke down in tears in front of her. She knew his origins, she knew he had deep-rooted troubles, she knew he killed himself and appeared in Equestria because of it. His deepest, darkest secret was unveiled to her. It was the ultimate sign of trust.

Sirius could only face it. He had to. He thought of Iclyn as a friend, and she agreed to be one. He needed to trust her unless he wanted to fall again. He had climbed out of his own grave, but even a slight push could bring him back there. He wasn't certain he would be able to crawl out of it again.

He could only go forward. Maybe Iclyn could indeed help him? She was his only hope, she was the only one he talked to about himself. He couldn't leave her and go away, not after his revelation.

Iclyn didn't push him away. Even after Sirius told her of his suicide, she still allowed him to stay with her. He was joyful, he was happy she did it. It showed just how much she truly cared for him — a stranger, a nobody. Just a weird creep who never socialized and stayed away from everyone. He couldn't believe it was happening, he was almost sure it was an agony-induced dream during his last moments of life, right at that lake. He feared he would wake up for a moment and see that it was nothing but his wish-fulfilling dream, an illusion he craved so much, which was still not real.

He didn't want to wake up from that dream. He wanted it to be a reality, his new chance to live in peace. He desperately wanted to enjoy life again.

Sirius even harbored warm feelings for Iclyn. He was sure it wasn't love — he couldn't love. He and a pony? There was no way it would be possible. It wasn't affection or attraction, it was simply... warmth. He enjoyed being in her presence, being close to her. It was a sort of motherly and yet loving warmth, one he had missed for many years.

Was that it? Did he finally find peace?

No, he didn't. There were many troubles, many deep, dark secrets hidden inside his still broken soul. They would better be left unknown for anyone but himself. He didn't know he would ever speak about them to anyone. They caused him invisible but hurtful and deep wounds he wasn't sure could be healed. How? How could such wounds be healed? Was there a cure, a remedy? Even in his brightest moment of hope, he doubted there was.

He knew someone he could talk to about it. It wasn't Iclyn, no — while he trusted her, he couldn't bring his most painful memories for her to see. There was another person, the one he loved deeply, the one he could never forget. It was her, the sweet girl he had seen in his last dream. She was his everything, a part of his very soul belonged to her, and yet he knew she would never be his. She was left there, back in the world of humans. But it wasn't the problem, however. She would never be his because of himself. It was all his fault, he could do nothing about it now, only wish for her to have a happy life. Without him.

Sirius pushed those depressing thoughts back. He couldn't allow them to overcome him. He needed to move on, he had to. He couldn't change the past, he couldn't erase it.

But it was still there, hurting him like nothing else could.

The former human found his eyes watering again. The dam was broken, shattered in one moment of his horrifying revelation. He couldn't close it again.

He forced himself to calm down. There was no need to cry if no one was going to hear it. Not even Iclyn, and especially not her.

If Sirius could revert the time back, he would not tell Iclyn anything. It felt good to relieve, but now he felt only shame and misery. She now knew he wasn't as strong as he seemed. He was just a weak, small child, crying at a scraped knee. He pictured himself as such, at least. There were people who had it worse than him, and they weren't to blame for it. However, Sirius thought he is to blame for everything that had happened to him — he just wasn't strong enough to go through it. As much as he wanted to be strong, he couldn't.

The former human unzipped the sleeping bag and got out of it. Lying there any longer was pointless. He let out a long sigh and then went to the bathroom. The sun was shining through the window, bringing light into an otherwise dark room. However, he still had to light his horn to see in the bathroom.

He looked at himself in the mirror. There were dried-up tear trails from his eyes, and overall his facial features looked sagged. He sighed again and then went into the bathtub to clean himself.

Meanwhile, Iclyn woke up to the sound of rushing water. She got up and looked around. Besides Sirius in the bathroom, there wasn't anyone. She stretched her body and then yawned, readying herself for the day.

She looked at the bathroom. She sighed to herself, knowing well her relationship with Sirius would never be the same. He wasn't just from another country — he was from another world. As crazy as it seemed, Iclyn found it believable. She didn't think Sirius was dishonest or merely messed with her — his emotions and tears spoke for him, he simply couldn't fake it. He shed tears of sadness, and they were hard to fake.

The pegasus filly didn't know what to do. How was she going to help him? She wasn't sure she would be enough to help him. She was just a teenager who barely even received her special mark. What could she possibly have to help someone like Sirius? She didn't know, truthfully. However, she would try anything to make him feel better. She remembered one particular saying: a friend in need is a friend indeed. Sirius needed a friend, and she could stay with him in his darkest times. That's what friends must do, otherwise they couldn't be friends.

Friendship with Sirius would certainly be hard. Iclyn tried to understand him, she truly did, but something felt... lacking. Like she wasn't trying hard enough. Maybe there was something else Sirius needed, something Iclyn couldn't give him? She was confused — it was a nagging feeling, but she didn't know what to do with it. What did she need to give him? She had compassion, she had kindness. However, feelings as a whole were more obscure than clear. She never had a friend so deeply hurt, she never even worried about something like this.

Iclyn remembered reading about constant sadness which she could see in Sirius. It was depression. She knew there were medications to help with it, but she doubted Sirius would accept that way. He needed company, not pills or spells. Friendship was something medication could never give.

Finally, Sirius emerged from the bathroom, his body still slightly wet.

"Sirius, you alright?" Iclyn asked with worry.

"...After I told you... yes." Sirius replied slowly. "You... don't think it was a joke, do you?"

"No, I wholeheartedly believe you." the filly answered. "I just... I will try my best to help you, alright? You can rely on me, really."

"Thank you." the colt smiled slightly. "But now we need to get out here. There is lesson our classmates need to learn." anger flashed in his voice as he said the last word. He picked up his sword and buckled it as always.

***

A few minutes later, Sirius and Iclyn finally exited the room they were locked in. As soon as they did, they found themselves face to face with the classmates. Everything was silent for a few moments.

"I heard one of you yelled 'fuck'." a pony spoke.

"Now, I need all of you listen to me." Sirius stepped forward, a frown on his face. His voice was of steel as he surveyed every single pony in the room excluding Iclyn. "I do not like what you did." he inhaled. "It was stupid and unnecessary. Games are suppose be fun. We did not have sex there, Iclyn tripped over and fell. She hurt herself because she couldn't see in that room. You are to blame." he snorted. "I need remind you of one thing. There were bullies, I got rid of them. What they did? Tell me, did they make you do what you don't like?"

Hesitantly, most ponies nodded.

"Now, how are you different if you do same?" Sirius asked. He didn't receive anything in response. "I don't like bullies. You did something they would do. I don't take it lightly." his heavy gaze fell upon one particular filly that made the dare that got him locked up with Iclyn in the first place. "And I certainly don't like who had fun from that. You invited me for a game — it turned out like sick joke." he snorted once again. "This is... disappointing. I hope we won't have it happen again."

Then, he grabbed the saddlebags he brought from the school and put them on. Without hesitation or doubt, he headed to the exit. He wanted to get back to the apartment and not see his classmates, maybe except for Iclyn.

"Coral and I are sorry, we tried to open it but they pushed us away." Wave Rider said to Iclyn, his ears folded.

"I don't blame you, you didn't seem to have fun when all of that happened." Iclyn assured the small colt. "C'mon, the storm's over, might as well return home."

"Oh, right! My mom's probably sick with worry!" the colt nodded quickly, and then went to gather his belongings.

The next day.

Due to the storm, the remaining of the previous day was passed in boredom for Sirius since the only thing he could do was further learning the language. The training was cancelled as well, leaving him without physical activities. He didn't even talk with Iclyn about his problems — he wasn't yet ready, and he told her so. He needed some time to think and accept his own revelation.

However, there was one very important thing to note — Sirius did according to the dietitian's advice and got some meat from the griffin shop. The prescription allowed him to get a large amount of food free of charge, meaning that he would certainly have enough protein to develop his otherwise unhealthy body. As soon as he finished eating his first meat-containing meal, he felt full, truly full. It was a pleasant sensation in his stomach. And thus, Sirius' hope in gaining some actual weight increased. It would be great if he could become at least somewhat muscular and not as thin as he was.

The next day after it was promising. Last two lessons were Physical Culture, during which Pride Fight called Sirius specifically.

"So, Sirius, the tournament is coming in a few days." the old stallion said. "It also happened that the next few days have only Physical Culture lessons. Our principal thinks devoting a few days purely for physical activities will be great for your whole class. I have a special task for you. Since the tournament is near, and you need to wear armor for it, here's this: you train in armor from now on. You don't have to come to trainings as well, I believe the classes will be enough for you. I called a few stallions that are free during the classes, and they will have sparring sessions with you. It will be tiring, but I believe it will be beneficial for you."

Sirius nodded. He couldn't wait to take part in the tournament, and some extra endurance training wouldn't hurt. Besides, he liked the armor. Even if the colors of his body contrasted with it, it still looked quite nice on him and felt right. He even thought about applying to the Royal Guard in the future. Or maybe not. He wouldn't like to be too close to the princesses, after all.

Chapter 31: The Tournament, Day One

Finally, the first day of the tournament had come, and Sirius was ready to take part in it. First of all, he and the other fencing club members assembled at the train station — the tournament was taking place on one of the open fields nearby the village of Ponyville, to which ponies could only get by train or wings if they had ones. Sirius was already dressed in the armor, both his longsword and shortsword securely buckled to his side, waiting for action. His trainer Pride Fight was carrying the club's banner: a rectangular piece of cloth on a pole. A golden longsword was pictured in the center of a crimson background.

Soon, the whole club embarked on a train to Ponyville.

"Sirius, I recently got something important." Pride Fight said to the colt. "These are the rules as I understand them: one, there will be five qualifying rounds, which are based on 'one hit — win' rule; second, the hit points required to win the round increases, meaning that you have to hit your opponent more to defeat them the further you go, and the said rule applies to all rounds after the qualification. For example, your first real battle will require three hits to win, each part of body excluding the head is one point while the head grants you instant victory. However, try not to use said tactics: the audience expects a great show, and ruining it with one hit won't do well for you.

"The third isn't a rule, just a reminder. There are three nominations: Skillful, Artistic, and Secret. The latter, of course, will be revealed once a winner of either of the first two is chosen. Though, only battles with nobles will count towards Artistic, and there just a few of them, so count on your luck. You need to impress them, there is a very important reward. It will be an invitation to a certain event, which I'm not at freedom to speak about.

"The Skillful victory will grant you astounding reward of exactly five thousands bits. Princesses are especially generous this time. It's because they're reunited once again, and this year is the first one after her nightly majesty princess Luna returned to us.

"And a special prize will await you at the completion of the third, secret nomination. Even I don't know what you will get. Is everything clear?"

"Yes, sir." Sirius nodded. "I will do my best."

"If you do indeed, you won't have to call me 'sir' any longer, young stallion." Pride Fight chuckled. "It would be me calling you a sir. You will deserve it... if you achieve victory, of course."

Fire of anticipation burned within Sirius as the train approached the Ponyville train station. As it slowed down, the former human was already near the door, unable to wait. He was ready to take action and win the tournament, whatever the cost. He had spent quite some time mastering his swordsman skills, and he was certain the victory was already his. Equestrians were a peaceful nation, and no warrior of peace was stronger than the one who had to pass hardships on the way to the top.

Becoming a swordsman he was at that day was a challenging task for Sirius, and for both his mind and body. Years of continuous training, many different tournaments, learning from various clubs and schools of fencing, spending days and nights reading old manuals, all of it was forever carved into Sirius. He was by no means a knight as he served no one, but he was indeed a warrior to be respected and feared.

As the train stopped and the doors opened, Sirius followed Pride Fight into Ponyville. As soon as the whole club disembarked, the former human looked around.

The village looked very good by his standards. He used to looking at poorly made or shoddy old houses, its denizens either drunk or getting there, all the while swearing loudly. He didn't exactly like villages. Mostly, there was no work or entertainment in such places, leaving its denizens to get drunk because nothing else was available to them but a bottle or two of cheap alcohol.

However, it wasn't the case with Ponyville. It was bright and colorful, looking lively and inviting. The ponies bore genuine happy smiles as they walked around and chatted about different topics. The whole village was filled with joy, it was truly a peaceful sight Sirius didn't expect to see.

Maybe the new world wasn't that bad after all.

Foals of different size were around the club members but still kept distance, gawking mostly at Sirius. He didn't blame them — children were always curious regardless of species. Besides, he would be acting the same if he were their age. However, he didn't have a soft spot for children — he tolerated them at most. As long as they didn't bother him, he would be fine. He had been sworn at by some brats, and it didn't help that it was the majority of kids he used to see.

"Look, dad, a knight!" a colt said, gesturing at Sirius.

"It's because of the tournament, different knights gather and test their skills. This one looks determined to win." a stallion, the father of the colt replied.

"Are we going to watch?" the colt asked, looking at his father with pleading eyes.

"Of course we will. Maybe you will later take part in one of such tournaments, who knows?"

Subconsciously, Sirius straightened himself. He wanted to look good for the occasion, after all. Besides, he considered fencing a noble art, one that everyone should strive to learn about and then master. It was no boxing or any other sort of hand-to-hand martial arts. It was a bigger, better form of art to Sirius. Muscles had a limit and they all looked the same, while a sword could be in many shapes or forms, as well as purposes. One can paint their own body, but nothing could even compare to the beauty of the steel.

Off in the distance, a large arena could be seen with tribunes around them. There were some tents set nearby, and ponies in armor and without it walked around, preparing for the grand tournament. Royal guards could also be seen patrolling around the arena and guarding the entrance.

Pride Fight proudly marched towards the arena, the club member following suit with Sirius right behind the old stallion. The colt was practically bouncing in anticipation, feeling a lot of energy in his body ready to be used in fights. He would prove all of them that he was strong. He was going to prove he was tough, ready to achieve this important victory.

"The tournament is going to last for a few days. The first one will be dedicated to introducing all the participants." Pride Fight told Sirius. "All of them will get to make their first impressions. There will be a lot of ponies taking part in this, after all.

"The second day will feature duels between those who passed the qualifying rounds. Also, two winners for the first two nominations will be chosen. The third day will be entirely dedicated for the Secret nomination, and then the celebration that follows suit. A grand feast arranged for all the duel participants, and the winners will get to sit next to the princesses.

"It is a chance to show yourself, young stallion. I believe no one else is a match for you. I'm confident in your victory." the old stallion smiled proudly at Sirius. "Show them that they fight like fruit shop owners in comparison to you."

"I will do my best, sir." Sirius nodded. His confidence and dedication to the tournament grew. There was no way he would lose that tournament, even if it meant fighting his place to the top, battle after battle, duel after duel. It would all be worth it. He would prove the princesses that he needed no help, that he was strong, powerful, unbroken.

Finally, the club members reached a rather large tent. It was red in color and had golden edges.

"This is where we will stay for the duration of the tournament." Pride Fight said. "It's our home for a while, get comfortable. Toilets and showers are outside to the right, look for a wooden building. The tournament is starting in half an hour."

Sirius decided to rest for a bit. But first of all, he looked around. The tent was indeed huge, he could even jump without hitting the ceiling with his head or horn. It was also wide, allowing everyone plenty of space. There was a large rectangular wooden table in the middle, two benches by its longer sides, and a seat in the front. Along the walls of the tent, beds with chests of drawers were spread out evenly, allowing everyone plenty of personal space. Sirius chose one in the corner, and Iclyn chose one nearby. They silently agreed to stay close.

There was also a large bulb of magical light hanging in the center of the tent, illuminating it. A couple of windows provided light as well, making the tent seem lively and comfortable.

And so, Sirius rested on a bed, thinking about the upcoming tournament. All his other thoughts were pushed away into the depth of his mind, only a thrill of action, cold concentration, and lust for adrenaline remained. He unsheathed his swords multiple times, checking them for any chips and other imperfections. There were none, of course, but it didn't stop him from glancing at his elegant and yet deadly-looking weapons. Their straight polished blades, slightly curved silvery guards, fake leather-wrapped long handles, and pear-shaped pommels were in their full glory, on display in front of Sirius. They were ready to be used by a professional.

Soon, trumpets sounded, signaling for the participants to assemble in the arena for the Equestrian princesses to see them.

"It's time, Sirius." Pride Fight spoke. "Don't hold back — their majesties put a powerful spell on the arena which wouldn't allow anything hurtful to happen."

Sirius responded with but a nod, sheathing his blades and standing up. Making sure every strap was secure, he headed to the exit.

Sirius stood in a rank of about one hundred different ponies: earth, pegasi, unicorns, even a couple of lunar pegasi were in the mix, and all of them were taking part in the tournament. Most ponies bore silvery or golden armor, with a couple exceptions.

One such exception caught Sirius' eye: it was a cyan pegasus mare clad in dark-gray armor that featured golden edges. A spear was strapped by her side, and a sheath for a sword hanged by the other. There were also claw-like hoof guards on her legs, glistening in the sunlight. However, it wasn't what caught Sirius' eye the most — it was a rainbow-colored mane styled in a mohawk. He had seen colorful ponies, but none such as her, and it surprised him.

Trumpets sounded again, and a pony spoke. It was a stallion with a strong voice which boomed across the arena, gaining the attention of the audience.

"Today, we have all gathered to celebrate the first year of the reunion of our princesses: her sunlight majesty Princess Celestia and her nightly majesty Pprincess Luna!" ponies applauded loudly as the two princesses bowed slightly, smiles on their faces. "It is a great day for our kingdom, and all the participants in the tournament are fighting for the glory and honor of our benevolent rulers!" applauses were heard once again. "Announcing our knights!"

The order went from left to right, starting with two peculiar-looking ponies. Both were steel armor with elaborate golden ornaments.

"Blueblood Senior of House Blueblood!" the first pony was introduced. It was a large stallion with white fur and blonde mane. He held his head high, a helmet in his hoof. He looked like a knight from the books, indeed.

"Fancy Pants of House Aegis!" the next pony was introduced. It was a stallion approximately in his late twenties or thirties. He had white fur and blue mane, as well as a blue mustache. He simply stood straight, and then bowed.

Many ponies were introduced before the turn came to the rainbow-maned pegasus mare.

"Rainbow Dash of Ponyville Fencing Club!" the announcer spoke, and the pegasus straightened up before bowing respectfully to the princesses.

Before Sirius' turn came, he took a look at the tribunes. The uppermost part featured a tower-like structure with two Equestrian princesses on the top balcony. Celestia and Luna smiled at their subjects while looking at the participants. Luna's gaze passed by Sirius without recognizing him.

Then, there was a lower balcony. Another alicorn was seated there along with whom Sirius remembered as the captain of the Royal Guard — Shining Armor. The alicorn was pink in color of the fur, having a three-colored mane: soft yellow, dark-pink, and bluish-purple. She had a small crown atop her head, and she looked less comfortable on her own throne. She often glanced at Shining Armor and seemed to calm down.

There was a third balcony, much wider than the first two. It had what Sirius didn't quite understand: five ponies, each of them didn't look like they were royalty. It genuinely surprised them — why were they so important to be put near the princesses? They looked young, too.

Under the tower, an orchestra pit was placed. The orchestra featured string, brass, and percussion, as well as a full choir. Currently, a soft tune was played on a big harp, its melody carried across the arena as the choir added a pleasant humming.

"Sirius of Golden Sun Fencing Club!"

Immediately, Celestia and Luna looked at him, their smiles slightly fading, but not completely. They were surprised to see him there — none of them had known of his skills yet. At least they hadn't seen him in action. Sirius was going to prove to them that he was not to be messed with. He could stand on his own.

Meanwhile, Luna decided to watch him closely. What did he want to accompish? She needed to find out, she needed to understand his motivations. Was he there for the violence or for the actual fencing? She had to be sure he wasn't a violent being. While she understood it was quite paranoia-inducing, she expected anything from the alien who carried a mini-cannon.

Soon, all ponies were introduced, and first pairs were named. The arena was large, and yet only two pairs could fight at a time.

The orchestra played a fast-paced, rhythmic melody, perfect for the fights. The choir and the strings were silent, letting the brass and the percussion sing in a powerful tone, capturing the emotions of the battles perfectly, building up tension with each bass thump and trombone blow.

Sirius had to wait some time before his turn came. He was standing against a lunar pegasus stallion. Sirius stared him dead in his slit-pupil eyes, ready for action. In turn, his opponent didn't break the contact. The former human unsheathed his sword and prepared to fight. The lunar stallion had claws for hoof guards and a sword in his maw. He bore no armor but a simple purple and gray clothing, loose but yet tight enough not to be an uncomfortable burden.

As soon as the round started, the pegasus flew up in the air. Sirius anticipated the move, and thus moved his sword accordingly. He expected his opponent to go for the head, even if any hit was enough to win.

His predictions came true when the lunar stallion dashed, swinging his artificial claws, but missing completely as Sirius ducked and jumped out of the way, his legs working like springs. He didn't have the time to hit, however.

Luna watched Sirius closely, her eyes glued to him. He moved with a grace of a hunter, and with a speed of a carnivorous beast. His movements were fluid, and yet unpredictable. His stance was low as if he prepared to pounce on unsuspecting prey, ready to sink his teeth deep into it. He lacked expression, he was fully concentrated on the duel. While Luna knew that all lunar pegasi were more on the warrior side than other ponies, Sirius was another deal entirely. He was even more a warrior than any of them could ever hope to be.

The lunar stallion tried the same move again. He flew in absolutely the same way, allowing Sirius to quickly calculate an optimal dodge and slash motion that would bring him swift victory. He wasn't going to prolong the fight more than needed.

As predicted, the lunar stallion attempted to strike in the same fashion again, but his luck ran out — Sirius dodged to the side and swung his blade, which connected with the leathery wing of his opponent, sending him crashing to the ground. The crowd gasped at the move as Sirius retracted his sword and sheathed it, knowing well he had won.

Luna saw everything in that move Sirius performed: grace and deadliness, as well as skill. He fought well and didn't hesitate to take any action. She was also sure the blow would've separated lunar stallion's wing from his body with a clean cut if the spell wasn't there. She shuddered at the thought, proceeding to reinforce the invisible protective dome around the arena.

"What a brilliant move done by Sirius!" the same announcer spoke, acting as a commentator for the event. "A masterful dodge and not less skillful strike to the vulnerable spot! Applause for this young stallion, for he is more tricky than he looks!"

Sirius turned to the princesses and bowed, eliciting a reaction of thunderous applause from the audience as they cheered him.

"Bold one, too!" the commentator spoke again. "Already bowing to our princesses as if he is already winning! Wish him good luck, for even I see him passing into the duels!"

Sirius wasn't doubting about it in any way. His opponent was predictable, he didn't expect others to be much more difficult. Maybe the nobility would prove to be a challenge. Or that rainbow-maned pegasus by the name of Rainbow Dash — he saw how much of a warrior she was. She moved quickly, not letting her opponent a chance to react. She would indeed be a formidable opponent if she passes the qualifying rounds. Sirius didn't even doubt it — he saw her as someone who would put a lot of effort into winning.

He just needed to pass another four qualifying rounds, and he would be in for the duel stage.

And he was sure he wasn't going to lose.

Author's Notes:

Yes, the Mane 6 are watching the tournament, and Rainbow Dash is taking part in it. She was always a fighter, and I figured out she could very well be into fencing. Besides, so much attention from ponies would surely make her big ego even bigger. She likes attention and to fight. Combine these two together, and you will get a devoted swordspony. I doubt she would miss such a tournament or even fencing as a whole.

What's better than beating people up with a stick? It's a stress relief, after all. Combine it with the love of attention and praise, and you will get a very powerful combo.

I believe Rainbow Dash would look close to this. Note: I didn't draw this particular picture.

On a side note, a tournament of thirty to forty people lasts a whole day even with three qualifying rounds, and then duels of three rounds (winning in two grants victory) with a time limit of forty-five seconds, as well as women nomination, general no ination, and dual wielding (parrying dagger or a small shield). A tournament of twenty to thirty people lasts slightly shorter, but it is due to hit limit of two points: body hit equals victory while arms and legs one hit each, you can't hit the head, crotch, feet, neck, and hands.

I'm speaking from experience since I'm also into fencing, but more into one-handed. I use a sabre, for example. It has far more hand protection, and I get my hands hit quite a lot when I use a longsword. I think there's a crack in my knuckle or something like that — it hurts if I punch something too much or too hard.

So, it's pretty realistic how a tournament such as one depicted in the story can take up to three days. There are about a hundred participants, after all.

Chapter 32: The Tournament, Night One

Successfully, Sirius passed the qualifying rounds, gaining victory in all five duels. Even after said duels, by the end of the day, he wasn't tired at all, still full of energy and ready for combat. He wanted more, he craved more fights, more duels. The sensation of adrenaline in his body was almost orgasmic to him, he didn't want it to end. However, there were no more duels for that day, and he had to suppress his urge to fight. After having a hearty meal, he went off to his bed to rest. He needed to be ready for the next day, for it would be much more important than the first one. He would need to show his best, to be his best, and to win the tournament.

As the night came upon the land of Equestria and the moon was raised by the nightly princess, Sirius found no rest. The bed was soft and comfortable, but it didn't do it, it just didn't. His mind was occupied with different thoughts, ranging from the tournament and his part in it to his personal issues and problems, even relationships. He needed fresh air, he needed to spend the energy.

Under the dark of the night, he slipped out of the tent with his longsword and went for a walk to a large lake nearby. The moonlight was lighting his way, making it easy to navigate through the darkness. Rare Royal Guard patrols didn't mind his presence nor did they notice him at all as he moved absolutely silently and only the keenest ear would be able to hear his careful steps.

Sirius soon found himself on a sandy beach. He took position in his usual fighting stance and prepared his late night self-training. He moved with a predatory grace, fluidly but dangerously and equally deadly. It was like a dance, but with more power, more force and speed put into it, making it look like a fast-paced waltz. Everything was smooth and beautiful, but much more energetic. It was a perfect combination of skill and beauty as Sirius swung his blades, cutting the air with a distinct whoosh. He imagined an opponent, one that would try to get Sirius no matter what. And he swung and thrusted for his dear life.

He viewed each battle as his last. He couldn't slack, he couldn't relax for a second. He needed to make sure he was left standing while his opponent did not. It was a game in which beating your opponent didn't mean victory — you needed to survive the battle, too. Each strike must be dealt with the ultimate goal of hurting your foe without exposing yourself. It was the easiest explanation of what all deadly martial arts were.

However, his dance didn't bring adrenaline. Sirius was disappointed — he needed something else, something to vent his emotions on. Something to obliterate with strong emotions, using his blade to conduct it into powerful strikes.

He walked along the beach until he found a log of a dead tree. He levitated it and placed it upright, making it a crude and tall training dummy.

But he didn't want to practice technique. He wanted to unleash his force upon the dry wood, shatter it, destroy it until it's nothing but a pile of dust.

He swung his sword at the log, biting deep into the wood. It wasn't satisfactory — he needed to do more than that. He slashed, hacked, and stabbed again and again, not stopping for a moment. He needed to make sure it became nothing under his powerful and mighty blows. He wielded no axe, but even his sword made a huge impact.

Soon, he ran out of breath. The log was almost cut in half, but there was still place for destroying. But Sirius didn't care.

He grabbed the log in his magic and smashed it against the ground, growling in the process. He felt the anger, the frustration, the fear, everything boiled inside him as he destroyed the already dead tree trunk.

Finally, he let it go. Sweat covered his forehead, his breath was heavy. He didn't feel much better, however.

Suddenly, a voice came from the lake, calling him by his name. Not by the one he adopted for the colorful pony world, but by his real one. He turned around sharply and faced the water, and saw a figure walking to him. It was distant, but he immediately recognized who it was.

"Y-you..." he sighed shakily, taking a few steps towards the water. "I-it can't be..." he spoke in his native language as his wide eyes focused on the figure. "Y-you... You are just a part of my imagination!" he pointed at the figure, his voice filling with aggression.

"Even if I am, does it make me less real?" she asked, her soft voice clear for Sirius to hear.

"But... I... I'm just insane." Sirius sat down. "T-they found me, revived me, drugged me... This can't be real, I know it! Just a... hallucination. I know you can't be here, it's impossible!"

"I'm always with you, you can't deny it." the girl spoke softly, comforting him as she stepped closer.

"W-why? This... I..." Sirius grabbed his head. "I just don't understand!" he lost all control all over himself. It was just so surreal, so strange, weird, and odd. Was he dreaming or was he awake?

"I came to tell you that I wish you to have a good life." she said.

"...Life?" Sirius responded quietly, setting his forehooves down on the sand. "We've separated before... before I became this." he snorted. "You don't know what I've been through since then. Life? I... I don't... want it." he turned away, hiding his tears.

"You can't lie to yourself." the girl spoke, mere a dozen meters away. "You told Iclyn how much you want to live with ponies."

"I... No, it... I..." Sirius sighed nervously and shakily, his whole body shivering as if he was cold. "I just..." he hadn't talked to her in years. The two grew distant as the time passed by, separating completely a year after what Sirius called an 'accident'. Seeing her again was bizarre. Was he truly going mad from the loneliness?

"You know that you want to live." his love spoke. "You passed through many bad things, but should they drag you down?"

"What do you know?" he jumped to his hooves, anger in his eyes. "You have never even seen it! You... are nothing to me now, I need to move on!" He yelled, his voice growing louder and filled with anger almost to the point of violent hatred. But his heart ached as he said those words. It stung like nothing else could. "We... we separated. I... I don't need you! You are gone! I am gone! I better be alone than with you!" tears of immeasurable pain rolled down his cheeks as he yelled out those words.

With a sad and comforting smile, the figure of his love disappeared, fading into the moonlight, leaving nothing behind. Sirius breathed deeply, trying to calm down. It was just a vision, a hallucination, nothing more, he assured himself of it. He just needed some sleep and it all would go out of his head in the morning. Just some rest should, no, must work fine.

"Sirius?" another voice called him from behind, this one was different but still female. He turned around and faced Iclyn. "Is everything alright?"

"Go away." Sirius grumbled, looking down. His tears almost dried and he didn't want Iclyn to see it.

"Sirius, we've not talked much since that day at the hospital." the filly came slightly closer but was still wary. "Please... Let me help you. I see how much you suffer, you even told me about it. I can listen and at least try to understand you. I know you're an alien, but everyone deserves to be heard out. I don't want to be intrusive, but we won't move a millimeter if we continue to be silent."

Sirius was silent for some time, thinking. He couldn't deny the truth in her words, but he would never admit it aloud. Then, he stood up, grabbed his longsword, and sheathed it. Without looking back at the lake, he went to Iclyn.

"I don't know if trusting you was right." he said when he got close. "I was... having memories. You don't need to know. It's too personal." without giving Iclyn even a glance, he headed back to the tent. "We need sleep. Let's go back."

Iclyn knew it would be bad if she tried to push at that moment. Sirius was not in the mood for anything like it, and she certainly wasn't going to test her luck. She just needed to be sure he was safe and had good dreams — that was the least she could do as a friend.

She thought about hugging him. However, she remembered he didn't like unwanted physical contacts, and thus refrained from doing it.

The pegasus filly needed to figure something out before it was too late.

Author's Notes:

This is one of the smallest chapters, but it plays an important role in the story. During the tournament, not only Sirius' physical capabilities are challenged but his mind as well. Even if such episodes are small, they bear much meaning. Feel free to try to guess what this is all about. However, it will eventually be clear as the story progresses.

Also, how do you like this format of smaller but meaningful events of Sirius' personal life put into slightly vague chapters of their own? Should it stay like this or should it be bigger?

I'm currently working on the artwork for the tournament. It's not much, but it was something I decided to do to practice my drawing skills. I still need a tablet to be able to draw more accurately. Anywah, you will see the results when the second day of the tournament comes out.

Chapter 33: The Tournament, Day Two, Part One

As the next day came, Sirius woke up ready to duel. The events of the previous night were pushed into the depth of his mind, leaving a bad aftertaste but nothing more. He couldn't afford thinking about anything but the tournament. He needed to win, to gain victory, it was all that mattered. He could deal with his inner self later at a more convenient time. For now, all he had to do was fight.

First in the morning, the whole club had a hearty breakfast. It was more important for Sirius since he needed as much energy as possible, and thus he received more food than everyone else.

"You're doing great, son." Pride Fight said, a smile on his face. "You've not lost even once in the qualifying rounds. I bet you'll show them all the time of day when you get to duel those who passed along with you. I have faith in you, young stallion."

"Thank you, sir." Sirius replied with a nod. "Is there anything that could help me?"

"Well, I would advise you to use your magic when you're fighting unicorns." the old stallion said. "However, it is a bad taste to use it when fighting other pony tribes. Duels are expected to be more or less fair, but it doesn't mean you can't use all you can to gain the upper hoof.

"There are also a few ponies I've seen fighting, and I can tell a bit about them." he continued. "First one is Blueblood Senior. He might look slightly, dare I say fat, but he is rather quick and agile. He might be an arrogant brainless prick, forgive my language, but his skills are pretty high due to him being tutored personally.

"He uses a smallsword and a parrying dagger. He always tries to get the first hit, and if he can't — he parries. His dagger is designed in a special way, allowing it to catch blades easily. He also has enough magical strength to successfully block a swing even from a longsword. I'd advise to use your second weapon, it would help you to stand equally. Yes, your shortsword isn't designed to catch blades, but it's still useful for parrying."

Pride Fight stopped to drink a mug of coffee before continuing.

"So..." he said. "There is another noble, but I've not seen him in action. Fancy Pants is as noble as nobles get, in a non-sarcastic way. He is rather friendly and respectful towards those of lower class. All I know about his fighting style is that he uses a halberd. It's long, its reach is great, but the speed is its main weakness. Also, try to get all close and personal — the halberd is of barely any use in close combat. Though, he might be carrying a second weapon in case such a situation happens.

"And last is Rainbow Dash, a rather famous pegasus among these parts. She is a part of six ponies who call themselves the Elements of Harmony. She boasts on being the fastest flier there is, and thus her attacks are fast and unpredictable. She is a rather small pony, but it isn't a negative side of her fighting style — she is very agile, hitting her would be a challenge. Coming from Ponyville, she is the best fighter this village has to offer. You must be careful if you face her. And I suppose that's all."

"I'll note it." Sirius nodded, taking a sip of apple juice. Somehow, he was certain he was going to meet all three on the field of battle.

He was looking forward to it.

Finally, he and the other ponies were assembled in the arena and stood before the princesses. From about a hundred, the number narrowed down to about thirty ponies. Many hadn't passed indeed.

"Today, we all shall bear witness to the duels of our mighty knights! These thirty-two stallions and mares passed the qualifying rounds. Many of them — but not all — would be suitable for the very Royal Guard of Their Majesties!" the announcer spoke, immediately gaining all attention. "Here they are, cheer for our brave knights!"

Then, the names were said. Sirius noticed how both nobles and the rainbow-maned pegasus passed successfully. The latter was looking especially prideful as her friends from the lowest balcony applauded when her name was called. Other ponies were proudly showing their chests, standing upright.

"And finally, Sirius of Golden Sun Fencing Club!" the announcer spoke. "Currently, he is the youngest contestant to pass the qualifying rounds, at the age of twelve, no less! Cheer for this young and brave stallion! He shows that the skill matters more than age, and that anypony can be a fair knight!"

The crowd erupted in cheering, and Sirius felt pride and a bit of arrogance. He didn't doubt he would pass. He would be genuinely surprised if he didn't.

All princesses were looking at Sirius with surprised faces. Even Luna who knew of his skill was surprised he made it this far. It also worried her — was he just as young when he was in his old body? If so, how harsh had his world been to him? Was it that bad of a place where even children had to fight for survival? It truly horrified Luna and brought her sadness. The worst of it all, Sirius refused to trust her and let her help him. She didn't even know if his therapy was working — there were no reported accidents, but it didn't seem like he had changed in a positive way either. He looked the same but with the mask of determination painted on his face.

Why was he fighting in the first place? What did this tournament mean to him? Why did he want to win so much? Of course, there was an invitation and a great monetary prize, and also a secret award for a secret nomination. But he wasn't going to go that far... was he?

It was something personal for him, clearly. It was apparent that he cared less for anything physical than for what was inside him. Was he trying to prove something? Was he expressing a statement to Luna or other princesses?

The nightly princess didn't know. She was afraid she would scare him off if she asked directly. No, she had to observe and think. Sirius had a hard shell, and she wasn't sure he would let her crack it open.

Luna only had one hope — she hoped someone in the school provided comfort and compassion. A colt, but better a filly. Could he develop affection towards ponies? Luna sure hoped so — it would greatly help him adjust to the new world and take off the invisible weight he bore inside himself.

However, she had no way of controlling or influencing it. All she had to do was hope, all she could do was hope.

Hope that he would be cured.

After a couple of ponies fought, it was Sirius' time to show his best. Unsurprisingly for him, he found himself paired with Rainbow Dash. She bore a cocky smirk as she looked him in the eyes. She was crouching slightly, ready to take off, which didn't go unnoticed by Sirius.

"Up for a challenge, are ya?" she taunted him, her voice carried across the arena, letting other ponies hear her teasing words.

"If you prove to be one." Sirius taunted back. Words didn't hurt him or agitate him in the slightest, but he figured it would impact the pegasus in one way are another.

"Of course I am!" Rainbow Dash replied. "Have you never heard of the fastest flier in the whole Equestria?"

"I hope your words match your skill." the former human retaliated, starting to walk forward, his longsword in a defensive position. He expected a strike to come soon. Adrenaline was pumped through his veins, its thumps resonating inside his head. He was ready for action.

Suddenly, Rainbow Dash took off like a spring on release, launching into the sky. She started circling around the arena, slowly turning into a blur. She wasn't using any style, it seemed, which was actually challenging for Sirius. Until now, he faced the opponents who went for an attack sooner than later. It seemed not to be the case with the boastful pegasus mare.

Suddenly, she seemed to stop completely. Sirius failed to recognize her going directly for him. The two collided, and he was sent flying across the arena. He hit the ground hard but barely felt any pain as the crowd gasped. The spell was working, he was unhurt.

Quickly, Rainbow Dash flied to him and attempted to strike. In his strange state of slight confusion and disorientation, Sirius barely managed to block the incoming hit. He jumped to his hooves and cleared his head with a slight shake. The pegasus attempted to flee, but Sirius was too close to her and managed to grab her tail with his teeth. He spun around and sent her crashing into the wooden wall nearby.

That move was not graceful at all, brutal even, but effective. It would most likely leave a few broken bones if the spell on the arena wasn't working.

Rainbow Dash stood up and attempted to fly off, only to discover that a piece of armor was dented and shifted, preventing her from taking off.

"You're good." she admitted to Sirius and then unsheathed her sword. She had no way of fleeing, she could only fight.

By that time, no points were taken. No weapons were connected with the body of either contestant.

Sirius advanced towards his opponent. With her main advantage over him gone, he would have a much easier time dealing with her on the ground.

However, Rainbow Dash struck first, attempting a stab with her spear which was still attached to her side. Unfortunately for her, Sirius parried the hit, somehow breaking the spear in half.

"Aw man, that's just not fair!" the pegasus complained before attempting to swing her sword at him. She failed yet again as he easily parried the hit. He didn't strike, however — he waited for a perfect time to disarm her.

Rainbow Dash didn't give up and close to go for a stab. However, her sword was much too short and her neck not flexible enough, and she ended up in an awkward position. Sirius used it to his advantage and delivered a hard blow to her sword, making her open her mouth and drop her blade. She was left armed with only her hoofguard-claws.

She had no way of using it as Sirius pointed his blade at her, mere millimeters before her head. He looked victoriously at her but kept in mind that she could use something to her advantage.

"It seems I really misjudged you..." Rainbow Dash said, looking at Sirius. "I admit that this round is yours, but don't expect me to go easy on ya again!"

"Victory in the first round goes to Sirius!" the announcer declared. "Rainbow Dash admitted her defeat! But will it be as easy for the young stallion in the next round? We'll soon see!"

Before the next round started, Rainbow Dash fixed the dent armor piece, as well as gotten herself another spear and strapped it to her side. She was ready.

The second round started. The pegasus decided to change her tactic and flew high in the air, out of Sirius' any possible reach. She was preparing a move she had learned from her former griffin friend.

Sirius prepared for the inevitable strike. The drums were rhythmically beating just as his heart was, the music fueling him with power. He was glad the orchestra was there to add some background noise that helped him concentrate on the battle. He was filled with anticipation and energy.

Rainbow Dash dived from above, attempting a hit with her claws. Sirius dodged to the side and swung his sword, but didn't hit anything due to the high speed of the pegasus. She almost immediately dived again, but this time Sirius managed to parry. She landed behind him and attempted to stab him with her spear, but the colt jumped to the side while turning around, evading the hit completely.

Sirius went for a thrust, but barely touched her leg as she jumped away, but the hit was counted. She had only two points left while he still had all three.

She attempted a sudden but stupid move — fly overhead him and land behind. Unfortunately for her, Sirius raised his sword just in time to score another hit. However, his helmet was scraped by her claw. Gladly, it didn't count as a hit, otherwise he would have lost that round.

Rainbow Dash landed awkwardly, giving her opponent time to strike. And he did, and scored the third hit, gaining victory. While the pegasus was fast, he was faster, and not having to bother with kinetic energy her wings generated was a great advantage he had over his opponent.

"The victory in the second round and in the duel overall goes to Sirius!" the announcer declared. "Congratulations, young stallion!"

Rainbow Dash stood up and dusted herself off.

"Yeah, you're pretty good." she admitted, a smile on her face. "Maybe we could hang out sometime? I wouldn't mind learning some moves from you."

"Maybe. Until then, Rainbow Dash." Sirius nodded, and then went to his club members. He needed to drink some water, and besides, he wasn't going to partake in a duel anytime soon. There were plenty of other ponies that fought, and he was but one of them.

Soon, he took place near his club members. All of them were greeting him with smiles and encouraging words, making something inside the former human turn, making a small smile appear on his own place. They were proud of him, he was accepted by them, and he proved himself a worthy warrior.

Then, he observed the other contestants. There were different ponies, and most of them fought with almost the same style. There were variations of course, but most of them could be connected quite easily. Some were gracious and beautiful, almost like a dance, and others were swift and accurate, efficiency being their main goal.

The turn of Fancy Pants came. He was dressed in silver plate armor, which was decorated with some deeper silver ornaments, but it was barely noticeable. It bore more practical function than aesthetic. The noble stallion used his halberd proficiently, keeping his opponents at a reasonable distance. His style was mostly offensive-focused as he tried to push his opponent back, not giving them time to retaliate.

As expected, the noble stallion won, suffering no defeat in either of two rounds he fought.

There were other, less interesting knights that fought after Fancy Pants, but they were of no interest to Sirius. All of them were more or less the same, and the former human was sure he could easily defeat them. He could see that they didn't have even nearly as much experience as he had, but they were still quite well-trained despite their apparent slowness. For Sirius, they were especially slow.

"Next duel! Blueblood Senior against Sirius!" the announcer declared, prompting the two ponies to enter the arena. The noble stallion walked with his head held high as he approached his place. Sirius walked calmly, his thoughts collected and hidden, his whole entity focused on achieving victory in this duel.

"I devote this battle to my noble house!" Blueblood spoke aloud, pulling out his smallsword and parrying dagger.

"Does his opponent wish to devote the battle to anything?" the announcer asked.

"I will devote my victory." Sirius said, looking at his opponent challengingly. His blades were yet sheathed.

"Such a pony as you shall never gain victory over somepony like me!" the noble stallion snorted.

The tension was in the air as everything was still and silent. Even the orchestra was waiting for either two to make a move. Many ponies wanted Sirius to win, while only some desired the victory of Blueblood. The young and arrogant prince needed to be taught a lesson he wouldn't forget.

Sirius remembered he needed to be artistic for the fight. He pulled out both his blades and assumed a seemingly relaxed stance with his blades in front of him, forming an angled equation sign, the longer weapon pointing at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle while the shortsword was pointing at the same angle towards the ground.

Slowly, the orchestra started to play a song, one very familiar to Sirius. He was surprised quite a lot when he heard it playing. It was relaxing, but quite sad. It began with a soft, prayer-like female choir.

https://youtu.be/CKN_DIS5Fm0

The audience was struck by the beauty of the music, even the princesses were stunned. Everything but the soft sound of beautiful choir and soon the enchanting strings was silent.

Sirius stood in his place, waiting for his opponent to start the duel. There was no time limit, he could stand there and wait the whole day.

Slowly and cautiously, Blueblood started moving forward. He hadn't seen his opponent being so calm and collected before. The noble stallion already began to doubt the outcome of the battle. Was he going to win if his opponent bore such an unusual fighting stance? He hadn't seen it before.

When about a dozen meters were all the two warriors were separated by, Sirius began to walk towards his opponent. He moved calmly, almost in a relaxing manner. Blueblood stopped, unsure of what to do as his young adversary approached.

Suddenly, Sirius leaped into the air, using his magic to propel himself forward, and made an overhead slash. Blueblood's eyes widened as the hit came his way. He barely managed to turn his head away, letting his body be struck instead. He was knocked off balance and almost fell.

Sirius, however, waited patiently. He was controlling the fight, and he knew that the audience liked what they were seeing.

With a grunt, the noble stallion stood up. He raised his smallsword and swung it, but Sirius easily dodged it and retaliated by attempting a stab, thrusting his shortsword swiftly forward. Blueblood managed to parry the incoming hit with the dagger, but the colt quickly retracted his weapon and blocked the hit his opponent sent after a parry.

The song was still calm but bore some power in itself, carrying across the arena.

Sirius used his longsword for the next attack, making a slash. The blade collided with Blueblood's smallsword as he was not ready to use his parrying dagger.

The fight went on without any hits counted for another ten seconds before Sirius managed to achieve a stab with his shortsword, taking a point from Blueblood. However, there were still four left. While Sirius hadn't been hit even once, he still needed to be cautious.

He performed a combination of slashes using his longsword. He moved fast and countered the parries by using his shorter blades to ensure Blueblood couldn't use an opening. This way, Sirius managed to get another two hits without much problem.

Blueblood was already panting, and sweat got in his eyes, blinding him for a moment. That moment was successfully used by Sirius as he ended the round with a strike to the stallion's helmet, taking all remaining points away.

The song calmed down, leaving only soft choir.

"The victory in the first round goes to Sirius of Golden Sun Fencing Club!" the announcer declared, his voice seemingly out of place.

Everyone prepared for the second round. Blueblood was pretty furious — how dare a commoner defeat him? A colt, no less! It was so shameful for the noble stallion. He needed to teach that colt a lesson. He would hold himself no longer!

As the two stood opposite of each other, Blueblood glared at the colt from under his ornate helmet. Sirius' expression was calm, but fire was in his eyes. He was sure of his victory. He could see how emotions affected his opponent — it made him lose focus and concentration. He might fight ferociously, but Sirius doubted it would do him any good.

Besides, he had a small surprise coming Blueblood's way.

The round started. Sirius, once again, stood in his place, expecting his opponent to make the first move. He did — the noble stallion was marching towards the colt with determination clearly shown on his white-furred face as he closed in.

Then, Sirius did something completely unexpected: he used his magic to transport energy from one sword to another, making his longsword burn with fire while his shortsword glowed in the pale-blue light as it cooled down significantly.

The orchestra picked up the theme, and an epic song started playing.

https://youtu.be/MgDojyuOylQ

The crowd was struck with awe, feeling the energy and power flowing through the song. The princesses of Equestria were shocked as well — they knew the Royal Orchestra had a talent of playing according to the event's mood, but they've not heard anything like what was playing at the moment before. The powerful choir, thumping drum beats, staccato strings, and brass, everything played in a complete symbiosis, without a single hitch, and all for a duel like this.

Feeling the immense rush of adrenaline, Sirius charged forward and swung his longsword, bringing fire upon his opponent. Blueblood barely managed to block the hit, and then jumped to the side. The colt didn't stop, sending a strike after strike with both his swords, and yet didn't forget about the defense, using his shorter one for blocking and parrying.

The noble stallion was forced into defense completely and utterly, barely managing to block the incoming hits with both his weapons. He had to unleash a wave of magic to push Sirius away.

The colt's hooves dug into the ground, forcing him to stop. He still walked calmly, but there was great power behind his seemingly soft steps, accompanied by the orange glow of his longsword and the bluish glow from his shortsword.

Blueblood tried to attack, but almost immediately found himself trying to defend himself against a fighter who didn't know what stamina was. The stallion was growing tired pretty quickly — it was the longest fight he had ever had, and he was losing. First, his leg was hit, then his body, then his leg again. He expected nothing like that from a young colt such as Sirius. There was power, speed, aggression, and skill. Blueblood was sure he was one of the most skilled ponies there were in fencing, but he was quickly proven false as Sirius swung again and again, never stopping.

The fatigue grew within Blueblood as his magic broke under Sirius' strikes, forcing him to lower his defense. A few hits came his way, leaving him with nothing but one hit point while he had yet to deliver even one onto his opponent.

Suddenly, Sirius used both his swords and hit Blueblood's weapons as hard as he could, sending them flying through the arena. Defenseless, the noble stallion was at his mercy.

"I-impossible!" Blueblood managed to say as he stared at the tip of Sirius' longsword with fear in his eyes.

Sirius just chuckled lightly, delivering the final blow via a thrust with his shortsword, making his opponent fall to the ground due to the sheer amount of force the colt sent through the blade.

"I devote this victory to my friend." Sirius spoke aloud as the orchestra silenced. "Without them, I would not be standing there." it was true. He would most likely found himself dead if not for the company Iclyn provided him in his time of deepest depression. There was still a long way to go, but the start was set. "I will not name them, but they knew who they are." with that being said, Sirius began to walk to his club members. He extinguished the flames and thawed the formed ice on his other blade, returning them to their usual states. He knew it wasn't the victory, but he was sure he already won the Artistic nomination.

There were battles ahead, but Sirius had no doubts he would win them.

Author's Notes:

The chapter was growing too big, so I decided to split the second day of the tournament in two parts.

I actually wanted to create a song for the duel with Rainbow Dash. It would be an orchestral vision of something you would be able to recognize, something along the lines of the famous Rainbow Factory by Glaze/Wooden Toaster. However, I ultimately decided against doing it because it didn't really fit.

Just to clarify, the events of Rainbow Factory fanfic didn't happen in any of my fics. I don't like unneeded cruelty and violence in MLP, especially of such proportions. If there is violence, there needs to be a meaning. I know what happened in the fic, but I haven't actually read it. Why has Celestia never visited the Rainbow Factory? Why is killing needed to make something like rainbows when there was no need to do so before?

It's quite sad to me how people will go to any length to incorporate brutal violence into MLP. While my own fanfic might feature something brutal, at least there will be a valid reason for something so extreme.

I guess I just really don't want to see these ponies we all know so much and love get hurt.

With my little rant out of the way, I want to present a drawing of Sirius I did specifically for the second round of his duel with Blueblood. Some things are a bit wonky, including the shortsword. I modeled the longsword after my own, actually, and that is why it looks better.

There is also a couple of things wrong with shapes here and there, and I especially have problems with trying to show volume and shadows. I will improve, I swear.

I've recently got a graphic tablet, meaning that I would be able to draw much better. This picture was drawn on a computer using only my mouse as a tool.
Here

I redrew the picture:

Chapter 34: The Tournament, Day Two, Part Two

Once again, a pause ensued after Sirius' duel. He observed how other ponies fought while resting. He was still full of energy, but it didn't mean he wanted to spend it without need. He needed to save everything for later, for he was sure his battle with Blueblood wasn't the last. He wasn't the strongest opponent either, and Sirius was wondering if there was anyone whose skill would be on par with his own. So far, he encountered no such pony.

Sirius was pretty confident in his success and victory. Ponies were not warriors, at least not to human standards. They were slower, had more reaction time, and overall less efficient at fighting. Centuries of peace made them soft, and Sirius gained a lot of benefit from it. Unlike them, he had to learn fencing to make his body better, stronger, and agiler. Not to mention that hand to hand combat could be nullified if one had right tools, and Sirius always carried at least some sort of weapon. He didn't carry his sword in most situations, but a telescopic steel baton was more than enough, capable of breaking bones upon impact. While it required little skill to use, Sirius' training made him far more efficient with it.

There was a situation when someone with the same weapon attacked him. Not only was Sirius able to parry the sudden attacks, he managed to retaliate and disable his assailant with but a few hits to a couple of important spots the former human knew would hurt a lot if damaged, and such damage could be permanent. He cared little for the state of those who attacked him — he wouldn't even care if he made them vegetables who could only move in an electrified wheelchair via finger twitches. After all, Sirius knew all too well he could end up like that, and he wanted to avoid such a fate at all cost.

He knew one way of turning someone into a complete vegetable who would be unable to live but would still exist. Blind the eyes, cut off the tongue, pierce the eardrums, slice off the nose, burn the whole skin to the point when nothing would be felt by it, and then let them exist. They would have no sense, leaving utter blackness and dead silence, only their own mind and feelings of hunger and thirst accompanying them, slowly driving them insane until they're nothing but a human-shaped living bag of flesh and bones. Such was a fate Sirius feared greatly.

His mind returned to the tournament. There were duels ahead, and he needed to get ready for them lest he wanted to fail. Any and all thoughts that weren't about the tournament must be hidden and suppressed. He had prizes to win, after all.

Finally, it was announced that eight ponies were chosen for the quarter-finals. Sirius noticed that Fancy Pants successfully passed into it, as well as a few other ponies, one of them of lunar pegasi kind. Sirius was looking forward to dueling any of them, for he was ready to act and eager to fight.

Fortunately, his duel was the first one. He was battling against a lunar pegasus mare dressed in dark armor of almost the same style as the golden Royal Guard one. It bore dark shades of blue and purple and had an eye-looking decorative piece on the chest plate in the front. The lunar mare had a fake horn on her helmet, the horn was made of what looked like deep blue sapphire. It twinkled in the sunlight as a bluish magical aura surrounded it. The same aura was around a double-bladed glaive — a long weapon with a pole as its base, two falchion-like blades attached to it at both ends, their sharp edges facing different directions.

"Sirius of Golden Sun Fencing Club and Midnight Hour of Night Guard!" the announcer declared as the two contestants stood in front of each-other.

Sirius hadn't seen such a weapon in action before. He had fought against spears and halberds, but what was a double-bladed glaive? He had only seen pictures of such weapons, and they were too into fantasy to be practical in any way. Though, this particular piece of weaponry seemed to be practical as all normal weapons were.

In conclusion, Sirius was going in more or less blind. However, he expected his opponent to use both blades, switching them with a twirl. However, that didn't mean the mare has two weapons that would be hard to parry — it was one, and the time during which the blade would be switched would be enough for Sirius to react, at least he expected so. However, he remembered not to misjudge his opponent and never underestimate those who were fighting him.

The first round started. Sirius needed nine hits to achieve victory. Or just one if he hit the head.

He decided to use his longsword for the duel. He felt much more comfortable using one weapon at a time, the one he trained with the most. He saluted at the mare, expressing his respect in a manner only a swordsman could.

The lunar mare was advancing towards her opponent rather quickly, her weapon ready to be used. Sirius assumed a defensive stance, waiting for her to make the first move. He could already see that she was eager to fight him and certainly wished to see him lose the fight. However, unlike his other opponents, she was completely silent, choosing to completely focus on the duel instead.

Sirius admired such devotion and thus respected his opponent in a way only a warrior to a warrior could. They were not enemies — by the end of the day, they were just two beings that didn't even know each-other outside the tournament. How could one be an enemy to another if the latter didn't get to know the former first? Sirius had made many enemies during his life, and he knew who they were. He had feelings towards them, albeit they were negative in nature. To consider someone an ally or enemy, one must get to know them first, have feelings towards them, be they positive or negative. For Midnight Hour, Sirius felt nothing but respect, which told him she was but another adversary he had an honor and pleasure of dueling.

The mare struck first, her blow swift and strong. Sirius parried the blow and then was forced to block another that came immediately after as his opponent rotated the weapon, almost hitting Sirius with the opposite blade. He made a mental note of it, and then parried another incoming hit.

Midnight Hour seemed to be proficient with her weapon, using it to drive Sirius into a completely defensive mode. He couldn't allow it, and thus dodged the next blow and thrusted his blade, almost getting his opponent. However, the mare managed to dodge it by propelling herself backward by her leathery wings. Sirius took a note of it, too.

Not stopping there, Sirius advanced, aggressively delivering a blow after blow, now forcing his opponent into defense. He even got to score two hits by hitting her legs. However, it all ended when one of her blades connected with his chest, sending him backward from the sheer force of the strike, making him stumble before he resumed his stance.

Sirius understood that Midnight Hour had more skill than most ponies. However, it didn't mean he was defenseless against her. He had his own tricks to perform.

As the mare moved towards him, he quickly closed the distance and used the curved crossguard of his longsword to hook her blade, and then spun the weapon to deliver a blow on her body. He continued the movement, making a slicing cut towards her leg and achieving another hit, taking almost a half of her hit points.

Then, Midnight Hour did something completely unexpected. She used her weapon to knock Sirius' sword away from her, and then spun on her front legs and delivered a hard buck on his chest, sending him flying a couple of meters forward. He slammed into the ground, and the air was knocked out of his lungs.

The mare was almost immediately above him, preparing to strike him right in the head. As she thrusted, he moved his head away, barely dodging the hit, and then used magic to throw himself onto his hooves. He swung his sword, but the hit was parried by his opponent who quickly followed it up with a counterattack, getting a point for herself as her blade connected with his side.

Sirius now knew how dangerous she was. Until that very moment, no opponent had delivered a blow to him, but she had scored quite a few hits.

Without hesitation, he swung his sword at her fiercely, his aggressive style fully kicking in as adrenaline was being pumped through his veins. He needed to win.

Almost stunned by such determination, Midnight Hour was forced into defense again, barely managing to block the hits that came from seemingly random directions. However, Sirius didn't leave a single opening for her.

Finally, Sirius' blade impacted the side of her helmet, slightly denting it, but not actually hurting her due to the spell the princesses put on the arena.

This round was for him. Midnight Hour bowed to him respectfully, and then took her place to fight the second round. Sirius copied her moves without mock, and assumed a high stance. It was meant for heavy and powerful attacks that would come from above or the sides.

Sirius knew he had to be even faster and much more precise. The pony he was fighting against had much more skill than he anticipated.

This time, he moved towards her. Sirius hoped he would be able to use a trick that would help him earn a hit or two before his opponent recovered.

Midnight Hour went for a thrust, and it was the moment Sirius had been waiting for. He brought his sword down, knocking the blade of his opponent into the ground, and then retaliated with a swing that got her shoulder. Before he could deliver another blow, the mare jumped to the side while recovering her weapon. She decided to be more cautious next time.

The two circled each-other, looking for an opening to strike. Sirius kept his sword in a position that would protect most of his body while Midnight constantly shifted her weapon, anticipating a move.

Suddenly, the mare swiped swiftly with her weapon, trying to get the most vulnerable spot Sirius had at that time — his hooves. He jumped while dodging backward, avoiding being hit while putting some distance between himself and his opponent, making himself harder to reach.

He dashed forward and attempted a thrust, and somehow succeeded. Midnight Hour almost managed to knock his sword aside, but its tip connected with her chest a moment before, earning him a hit.

The duel went on like that for another minute as the two pinpointed the spots they wanted to hit and struck them with precise accuracy, leaving four points for Sirius and two for Midnight. It was almost a tie, and Sirius decided to go for a head strike. He dashed to the side, and then forward, thrusting into the side of mare's helmet, making a small dent, earning himself a victory.

"It was a pleasant duel." Midnight bowed.

"I'm glad it was." Sirius bowed as well and then went to his club members. Another victory, another completed duel. He grew closer and closer to victory.

He understood one mistake that led to him losing so many points — he should've used his second weapon to block and parry while striking with his main one. That way, he would be able to defend himself much easier and more effective. That mistake nearly cost him his victory, he understood it clearly. He learned from his own mistakes and understood that there was a way to be better.

With the quarter-finale behind, there was another duel after which Sirius would face the last contestant and hopefully win the tournament. This time, he was up against a stallion from the Royal Guard. He was a unicorn who wielded a longsword, just like Sirius. The former human decided to play it safe and use his second weapon. It would give him more advantage over his opponent since the latter didn't have a sidearm.

As the first round began, Sirius saluted. He received a salute back, and then both of the contestants started moving towards each-other.

The guard advanced towards Sirius cautiously, his steps soft but firm, his sword slightly lowered but ready to spring into action, the eyes of the stallion were set on his opponent.

Sirius walked calmly, making sure his emotions were unseen, his anticipation hidden. He wanted to lure his opponent into believing that he didn't take the fight as serious as he should have. His blades were aimed downwards in a relaxing manner as Sirius' eyes were looking in the direction of his adversary, not focused on anything in particular.

The guard made the first move by thrusting his blade forward in an attempt to score an easy hit. Sirius saw it coming a kilometer away and dodged to the side and struck with his own sword. His opponent reacted swiftly, and the two blades connected briefly, clashing against each-other for a mere moment before separating again.

Sirius swung his sword again, and then performed a feint — a move to fool his opponent by making it look like he wanted to strike in one direction while quickly switching the way his blade went. That way, Sirius managed to score a successful hit, striking from another angle.

His opponent struck again, but Sirius parried and then riposted him by thrusting the blade shortly after he deflected the blow. However, this time he didn't score a hit — his opponent dodged to the side.

The battle went on for half a minute with Sirius scoring a few successful hits while receiving no blows in return. He made the use of the second blade by blocking deflecting the incoming strikes, rendering his defense absolutely impregnable.

Suddenly, his opponent's sword flashed right before his eyes, almost hitting his head. The former human understood that the guard meant business and wanted to end the round as soon as possible.

Sirius decided to make a move his opponent certainly didn't expect. As the guard attempted a thrust, the colt made a split and moved his sword swiftly, its point connecting with the chin of the stallion, immediately taking all remaining points. The crowd of ponies cheered and applauded Sirius by such an elegant and yet deadly move. If not for the spell, Sirius would've pierced the brain of his opponent, most likely killing him.

The second round began shortly. Sirius decided to use the same tactic with sniping his opponent's body parts since the guard seemed particularly weak to it. The former human couldn't quite understand how someone like that stallion got that far into the tournament. Perhaps, with the elimination of Rainbow Dash and Blueblood Senior Sirius accidentally let weaker opponents fill the holes? It could be so, he thought. He had already defeated what he considered the strongest opponents, and now he was dealing with the rest of ponies who signed up for the tournament.

Midnight Hour was a positive exception to his conclusion, however. She was pretty strong even for Sirius, and it spoke quite a lot about her devotion to the noble and deadly art of fencing.

Sirius' opponent wanted to end the round as soon as possible, focusing entirely on the head. The colt expected such moves and thus decided to prevent his opponent from doing it by doing so himself.

The second round ended in less than twenty seconds after Sirius managed to score a head hit once again.

Overall, he was entertained and happy about the tournament. It gave him a way of letting his emotions out by using their energy to transform into his moves. It also let him experience the most pleasant sensation of adrenaline. Even after the last fight ended, he shook slightly as the feeling radiated inside him.

However, there was still a duel.

The final round.

Author's Notes:

This chapter is the most accurate representation of a tournament that I could give. I've been to four of them, and they all went in almost the same way. However, I'm not nearly as good as Sirius and thus haven't earned even a third place in any of said tournaments. I don't care much, I'm more into having fun than competing.

Now, I will go to sleep. Lately, I've been staying up late to about three or four in the morning. As you've probably guessed, I spend my time writing. I have a couple of stories to update aside from the current one, after all.

So, please refrain from pointing out any mistakes in this particular chapter. I will go through it again tomorrow morning and fix all the small mistakes I seem to always put in my stories.

Chapter 35: The Tournament, Day Two, Part Three

Before the final duel, Celestia and Luna decided to talk about one particular pony, that pony being Sirius, who actually wasn't fully a pony. There was a duel for the third place going on, allowing the two princesses to converse.

"I wonder," Celestia said. "What will happen if Sirius loses?"

"It could either be disastrous or simply alright." Luna replied. "It all depends on how well he receives defeat. I know some ponies who wouldn't take it lightly... Sirius is completely unpredictable. His mind, his thoughts are unlike anything either of us has ever seen, sister."

"But if he wins, what will he do with the money and the invitation?" the solar alicorn mused. "Five thousand bits... It is quite a lot for a colt his age. Besides, he might be no colt at all, at least age-wise, especially considering his alien origins." she looked at the former human. He was sitting on a bench, preparing for battle. "If he is just as young as he looks, he might waste it. Too many times it happened to those who had none and then got all. I... I am unsure, I can't say anything about him."

"Neither of us can." Luna sighed. "He still refuses to talk about himself. What little I gathered is simply not enough. What I have gathered thus far is... random pieces of information that can't be connected well. I suppose his words are... generalizations. They aren't telling us anything specific about him. All I managed to find out, as I told you before, was that the world he came from is very harsh. It's no surprise he is proficient in the art of fencing. The hits he missed couldn't harm him in any way even if the spell wasn't here, but his own... Results could be gruesome."

"Does it mean he is... a soldier?" Celestia suggested.

"It could be but it doesn't seem so." the nightly princess shook her head. "He only gives respect to those he deems worthy, and he doesn't bow before anyone. I doubt he would bow even if his life depended on it. He doesn't respect authority, he doesn't fear it as if..." her frown deepened.

"He has nothing to lose?"

"Exactly." Luna nodded. "Remember, there were only four out of five shots in his... long-range weapon. The means of how he got in our world are mysterious, but there are some that are quite possible." she glanced at the former human. "He either killed and then found a sort of hidden portal, or he... committed suicide and appeared here by some unknown force. Or by his own desire? Sometimes, emotions can be too strong, enough to cause something far greater than one can imagine."

"Do you think it is right?" Celestia asked worriedly. "If he did such an act..." she sighed sadly. "Just what his world is? Equestria hasn't known any sorts of murder for centuries, almost for a thousand years. Is his world that unstable or dare I say... dangerous?" she looked down. "He is our subject now, and even if I don't know him personally, I want him to have a good life in our country."

"I hope so, too." Luna nodded. "It is obvious he went through many hardships in his own world. Let this one be something he would be able to call home. Do you remember those ancient beliefs? Some of them promised heaven after death to those who suffered. A place of eternal peace and happiness. Our world is peaceful, its inhabitants kind. After so many years, it became a gentle place for all."

"You wonder if our world is heaven, do you not?" Celestia asked. "As for me... I suppose it indeed is in comparison to where he came from. I hope he won't find a reason to kill himself here. It would sadden me knowing that even our country isn't considered worth living for..." her ears dropped as a sigh escaped her lips.

"Sister... There is hope for him." Luna assured her sister. "I sense a spark of hope in him indeed. What I did began to work. He is healing, albeit slowly, very slowly. Something is holding him back, but he struggles to find the light." her eyes spotted Iclyn. "It is one pony by the name of Iclyn. She is his roommate, and it seems something former between the two, just as I hoped."

"Indeed?" Celestia turned to her sister. "It is wonderful! Friendship can do many things to anyone." a smile appeared on her face. "That is why I sent Twilight to Ponyville. She's not as shy or socially-awkward now."

"It seems friendship does wonders to one's soul indeed." Luna nodded. "But is it enough to heal Sirius? He is deeply scarred by something he refuses to share. It could be a traumatic experience such as... war, torture, even rape." she gagged. "Even saying such words makes my stomach twist."

"I'm glad such things don't happen nowadays." Celestia said. "There is hope for Sirius, indeed. A victory in this tournament might fuel his spirit with positive energy."

"You don't suppose we should help him, right?" Luna glanced at her sister.

"No, I believe he can do everything by himself."

Sirius was ready for the final duel. He was anticipating it. He was looking forward to it. Everything in his mind and body was prepared for it He must win, there was no going back or giving up. He had signed up for this for one sole reason — to win. If he gave up, would anything matter at all? He doubted it.

Only one contestant was left aside from himself — Fancy Pants. The noble stallion fought fiercely and was almost at the top with only a colt of age twelve in his way.

"Ladies and Gentlecolts!" the announcer spoke. "It is time for the final duel, the final confrontation between the last two contestants! They fought fiercely and with honor, making their way to the top. But there is only one place, only one pony will win the tournament!

"Finally, Sirius of Golden Sun Fencing Club versus..." the announcer paused, allowing Sirius to salute at his opponent. "Fancy Pants of House Aegis!"

The crowd applauded, some began chanting the names of the contestants, and soon ponies were divided into those who were for Sirius and those who supported Fancy Pants. But as soon as the two started moving, everything went silent. The orchestra wasn't playing any song. Instead, a drum beat appeared paired with very low string bass accompanying it. It was simple, enough to be playing in the background but not strong enough to divert the attention from the dueling ponies.

"Sirius." Fancy Pants called suddenly, stopping. "It is a pleasure to finally duel with you. May I have one single request?"

Sirius stopped as well and nodded.

"I would like this battle to last one round." the noble stallion continued after receiving confirmation.

Sirius stopped to think. On one hand, he would be in danger of losing — one hit to the head and it would be over. On the other, he could very well do the same to his opponent. Besides, neither would tire out by the second or third round, meaning that both of them could use everything they could in the first round without the fear of those tricks becoming predictable or useless later.

"I agree." Sirius finally nodded, earning a round of applause from the audience.

"Let us duel, then." his opponent nodded, and then lowered the visor of his helmet.

"What an honorable duel, ladies and gentlecolts!" the announcer spoke. "One fateful round... A colt or a noble? We shall soon see."

Both contestants were approaching each-other carefully and slowly. Sirius studied the movement of his opponent. The steps were heavy, but it was all a trap into believing that Fancy Pants wasn't as agile. While he indeed wore full plate armor, it barely restricted his movements at all. Truth be told, the plate armor isn't as heavy as it looks. Sirius knew that it could be lighter than a today's soldier's equipment. With the weight distributed evenly on the body, the armor felt lighter than a backpack of the same weight would. Sirius had don plate armor on one occasion, and it was indeed way lighter than many people thought it was.

And thus, the former human knew that he couldn't count on his opponent's armor in terms of restricting its owner in movement, both in speed and agility. However, there was a visor on the helmet that slightly obstructed the view. It would be of not much advantage to Sirius, however. He was certain Fancy Pants was used to it.

Suddenly, the noble stallion charged, extending his halberd forward. Sirius was taken by surprise but managed to dodge nevertheless. The reach of the halbert was huge, leaving no room for Sirius to attack. He wouldn't try to break it either — for once, the pole was reinforced with steel, making it much sturdier. Besides, cutting the wooden pole in half would be impossible either way — it was rather thick and probably made of good wood. Overall, breaking his opponent's weapon was out of the question — it was simply impossible.

Fancy Pants attempted to swipe at Sirius. However, his weapon didn't gain enough momentum to crash through the block the colt made with his shortsword. Sirius went closer to his opponent and swung his sword, successfully earning a hit. However, he didn't expect one thing — Fancy Pants used his halberd as a hook, swiping the colt off his hooves. Sirius was almost hit as the halberd came again, but he managed to evade it by using magic to propel himself to the side and onto his hooves.

Indeed, his opponent was full of tricks and used his weapon well. Sirius must be just as tricky and swift of mind to beat him.

As soon as Fancy Pants swung his halberd, Sirius blocked the incoming hit by placing his shortsword in its way. For more stabilization, he grabbed its sharp end. The energy of the blow was absorbed into the sword, knocking it slightly. Sirius managed to hold it, and then struck his opponent by the left front leg, denting a piece of armor. Quickly, Sirius dashed behind his opponent before he could retaliate. To his surprise, Fancy bucked him, sending him flying across the arena. It was certain he used magic to amplify the force.

Sirius stood up. His chest armor was slightly dented, but it didn't cause anything either than a cosmetic inconvenience. Nothing that couldn't be fixed after the duel.

To his horror, Sirius found out he dropped his sword near his adversary. Unfortunately, it left him completely defenseless.

Fancy Pants charged at Sirius, swinging the halberd in a wide area, preventing him from dodging left or right. There was only one option — jump over. With the assistance of magic, Sirius managed to achieve enough height to evade being hit. Then, he pushed himself forward to his blades. After successfully grabbing then, he turned around. He faced his opponent, who was swinging the halberd once again. Sirius parried the hit, sending his own back at the opponent. The noble stallion parried it, and then pushed the colt away using the pole of the halberd.

Sirius didn't give up and tried to stay close, effectively making such a long weapon almost useless. He managed to score four hits before he was forced to go back as his opponent angled his halberd in a special way, allowing it to get the colt.

Sirius parried the hit and dodged backward. He needed to plan his moves. The head-on approach, while working, can be easily countered. The former human needed a backup plan.

Suddenly, Fancy Pants quickly moved forward, cutting Sirius' line of thoughts and almost getting the colt. As he relentlessly assaulted his opponent, Sirius was forced into defense. The hits were coming too fast and the noble stallion seemed unrelenting in force. It was clear he wanted to win.

However, it was much more important for Sirius to win. Fancy Pants had reputation, influence, respect, and of course, wealth. The former human had none of them. He couldn't care less about anything but the money. With money, power always came. If he could gain power, even a small amount of it, he wouldn't need to care about anything else. On a whim, ponies would do his bidding. If he wanted them to do him a favor, they would. Why? Because he had money. If you have money, you have everything. Sirius had seen too many times how rich people got away with practically everything. Would he miss a chance to be in their places? No.

Sirius didn't care for anyone but himself. Maybe with the exception of Iclyn. If he had a second chance to live, he would make sure it was the best time he had ever had. It is said that money can't buy you happiness. Sirius, however, didn't think so. Of course, you can't buy loyal friends or true love, but was he searching for either? He wouldn't admit it that he did. But better be drowning in gold than in dirt, would it not?

Maybe he could even do something for the world. It seemed to be worth his effort. Maybe he wouldn't just use the money all for himself. He wasn't greedy, after all. He just wanted to make sure his life wouldn't be ruined as easily again. He needed to be able to do anything to those that would try to hurt him. Legal or not, anything could work, and money would get him to it.

Slowly but steadily, Sirius turned the course of battle. He received quite a few hits — seven, to be exact. With fifteen initial points, he had eight more. His opponent had a bit more — nine, in fact.

Sirius turned the tide and went into offensive. He needed to win. He must win. If he failed, where would he go? Who would accept such a defeat? If not for them, he must do it for himself. To prove his worth, to prove that he was strong and always would be.

Grunting heavily, Sirius pushed forward, his blades moved in a blur. Swiftly, he used his shortsword as a pick, hooking his opponent's weapon. The former human then landed two hits. Fancy Pants struggled to retaliate but was pushed by Sirius' unrelenting force. As fragile as his skinny body seemed to be, there was strength and determination behind it. Sirius couldn't lose, he just couldn't. He mustn't.

He stepped on the halberd, digging it into the ground. Using his longsword as a pick, he struck his opponent's helmet.

Victory.

"Sirius of Golden Sun! Victory!" the announcer declared, and all ponies erupted in yelling. Some were cheering, some were disappointed.

Sirius breathed heavily and took off his helmet. It was hot inside his armor. He won! He couldn't believe it, but he did it!

"It was quite an interesting fight." Fancy Pants said, raising the visor of his helmet. "You fight well, young stallion." he bowed in respect. "You deserve this victory."

"Thank you." Sirius bowed. "You fought well, too."

He did it. He finally did it. Five thousand bits, his! Respect, his! He proved to be strong!

A small smile graced his lips. It was one of the best days of his whole life.

While the celebration would happen on the next day, the actual awarding happened as the sun disappeared below the horizon. The duels took a bit longer than expected, but it was worth it for Sirius. While he was slightly tired, it was a very small price to pay for what he had experienced. The rush of adrenaline was certainly worth it.

Three ponies were standing tall and proud in the center of the arena. The first of them was Sirius — he stood in the middle of a small white podium. Next, was Fancy Pants. And then, there was Midnight Hour — she managed to get the third place.

The ceremony of rewarding was performed by the two princesses themselves.

"The third place goes to Midnight Hour of Night Guard." Luna spoke, her voice easily carried across the arena. She was holding a simple and yet ornate silvery tiara. She smiled at one of her best guards. "A weapon will be forged according to your desires, and the addition of one thousand bits will be given to you as well."

Midnight Hour bowed, accepting the reward as the tiara was placed on her head.

"The second place goes to Fancy Pants of House Aegis." Celestia spoke. She was carrying a crown similar to Midnight's tiara but golden and slightly thicker and more masculine in a sense. "He fought bravely and honorably. And thus, he receives a helmet of his own design and two and a half thousand bits as his well-deserved reward."

"Finally, the first place. The winner, the victor of the tournament — Sirius of Golden Sun." Luna said, holding a crown in her magical grasp. It was silvery in color and had golden ornaments. Said ornaments were much more detailed than both previous ones. The crown also featured an oval red ruby in the center. Sirius was certain it was worth another thousand bits if not more. "He fought from start to finish, and he deserves to be rewarded for winning his every duel. Praise this young stallion, for he defeated many skillful opponents on his way up!"

A round of applause sounded before Celestia spoke.

"We have decided to award him with another prize, the prize for being the most artistic in the duels." she said. "And thus, he receives an invitation to a very important and beautiful event — the wedding of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and captain Shining Armor!"

Sirius bowed, receiving his crown along with the invitation and the check for five thousand bits. A small smile was on his face — he was truly happy to win. He might even visit the wedding if he had the chance.

"There is one questions before we all go to sleep in waiting for the next day." Luna said. "Is Sirius willing to fight in the secret nomination?

Everything went silent as everyone looked at the colt.

He already won much, but he was ready to fight more. The longer the duels last, the better. He was ready for whatever they would throw at him.

"Yes, I am ready." he spoke loud and proud. He intended to go through the whole tournament.

"It will come tomorrow, then." Luna said, nodding. "Prepare for it as it will be much harder to win, young stallion. There will be no going back."

"I'm not going back." Sirius stated firmly, eliciting another round of applause and yells in his name.

He was determined to win everything. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to try. He was losing nothing by taking part in the last challenge.

He was looking forward to it.

Author's Notes:

So, Sirius won the main part of the tournament. Will he have as much success during the third day? We will see.

As usual, completed deep in the night. Feel free to point out any mistakes. It seems like my sleeping schedule won't change in the slightest.

Also, what do you think five thousand bits allow Sirius to buy? I'd like to hear what you think about it.

P.S. Yes, actual tournaments last a whole day. I was at one that started at twelve in the morning and kept going past nine in the evening, and it was a rather small one — forty people at most.

P.P.S. The full plate armor is actually rather light, its weight reaching up to thirty kilograms and more, which isn't that much if it's distributed evenly over your body. Shoulders, arms, legs, even hips support the weight, making it much more bearable. You can also roll, jump, even parkour and swim in such armor, although you must be trained just like a real knight. Actual heavy armor that restrict your movements is the one used during the tournaments. It was as safe as it could possibly get for a knight. After all, no one needed to die during a tournament.

Chapter 36: The Tournament, Night Two

It was the night before the third, final day of the tournament. Once again, Sirius was restless. He couldn't find sleep, he just couldn't. Even after spending an hour on trying to get as comfortable as he possibly could, he just wasn't able to find the right position that would allow him to sleep peacefully.

With a heavy sigh, he stood up. Maybe a walk would clear his mind and put it to rest. He decided to go to that lake he had gone to during the previous night. He still remembered seeing his lover walking to him, but he discarded it, put it away. He was tired, it was just a vision his brain conjured. Nothing else, nothing more.

Even during a peaceful night such as this, he didn't think twice about bringing his weapon with him. He was never going to be defenseless ever again. He knew that he must be ready for everything unless he wanted to die the most horrible death or spend the rest of his life in torture. He had heard of different stories — people were abducted, tortured and raped, and then maybe killed if they were lucky. If not, they would spend the rest of their lives in the mental hospital, trying to regain their sanity after abuse. Worse yet, there were cases when people disappeared for years, locked up in one room as their captor refused them to leave. Some even grew up while in such prisons.

Sirius wasn't going to let it happen to him. No matter how peaceful the new world seemed to be, he doubted such things never happened. He had learned the hard way that there always are sick people who want nothing but to ruin someone else's life either for fun or something so detached from reality it couldn't be explained.

The former human was especially paranoid after his victory. There were a crown and five thousand bits, and both prizes were to kill for. He knew he was safe among the club members — no one would be able to enter their tent unnoticed thanks to a certain spell that distinguished the club members from strangers. Outside, however... Sirius had only himself to rely on.

Soon, he reached the lake. He looked into the water and then across its surface, expecting to see... What? Did he really think something as impossible as what he imagined the night before could be real?

Certainly not. It was his imagination. Twisted and turned by reality, it produced visions that could never be true. His hopes, his dreams, his fears, his nightmares were mixed together, creating a horrid, broken mess, something he knew he truly was on the inside.

He lay on the grass near the shore and sighed wearily. He had proven his strength, but... What would he do next? What was the next goal?

He gazed into the night sky. It was filled with stars: some distant, and some close, all of them shining pale light upon the surface. The moon was almost full, illuminating the surroundings. It was peaceful and... gentle.

Sirius wondered if one of those stars was the Sun of the Solar System, his... birthplace. He wouldn't call it home — he forsook it. He hoped he would never return there. For all he cared, he would like it to burn in nuclear fire, erasing humanity that became akin to cancer. He had a deep hatred for it, one that couldn't be put out. It was like wildfire ever burning.

One of his basic emotions was hatred. He hated many things, including his own planet, its 'intelligent' habitants, and, of course, himself. Was he any better than them? He was just another human, doomed to be unimportant, powerless, and weak. What was he but another carcass for maggots to feed upon?

He was nothing. A void. Not a gentle one he enjoyed but all-consuming, rotting void. He consumed and never gave. What would he ever give to a kind that destroyed itself constantly?

Sirius sighed again, feeling immense sadness washing over him. He was indeed nothing. Just a pile of stardust glued together. Unimportant, uninteresting, devoid of life and feeling. He saw himself as such.

What would he do with the money he got? Buy a house? Buy armor or weapons? Buy lives? He didn't know. The prize was his, but what would he do with it? Frankly, he didn't need it for anything.

What had his life come to? Winning a tournament of equine aliens. He had never expected his life to come to anything even remotely like this very moment. He had never thought about the afterlife either.

It was the afterlife, was it not? Sirius still remembered that he killed himself. There was no chance he survived. So... Was he undead? He still felt warmth, his heart was beating. He was alive, at least it physically felt like it. Was it his second chance? Maybe.

His mind shifted to Iclyn. Ever since that moment at the hospital, he tried to ignore her and push her away. But was it a right choice? He searched so hard for a friend. Maybe something more — a soul-mate. Someone to be completely trustworthy and reliable. Someone to share the emotional pain with.

Sirius knew it couldn't go for longer. He needed to make steps towards her. Otherwise, there wouldn't be anything to do. She proved to be a good and supportive individual. A friend, even. However, there was still a way to go. A long way.

Sirius wanted to make the hatred go away. He wanted to stop suffering from it and from all things that were done to him. For it, he needed someone reliable, someone to trust. He had already told Iclyn too much. There was no going back.

He lay in the grass, waiting, hoping she would come to him to check if he was alright. Unless he was too hard on her during the previous night — that moment might've ruined everything. He was frustrated and upset, he acted on emotions. Now, he feared he went too far and pushed Iclyn away from himself. He ignored her, he talked rudely to her. He didn't deserve such a good friend as her.

A few tears rolled down his cheeks. Had he ruined everything again? He had already done it once, could he not bring himself under control, could he not evade such a mistake? Something good was gifted to him, and all he had to do was ruin it.

Just as he always did.

He let out a growl as another few tears rolled down his cheeks. It was all his fault. He never deserved a friend. No matter how much he suffered, no matter what he had been through, it didn't matter. He didn't want to be pitied, he just didn't deserve it. He was a bad person, he must've seen it coming.

Oh, how he wanted to change everything. He was given a second chance, and he already blew it. How could he use it if he kept failing? He could've controlled his emotions and be nicer towards Iclyn, he knew he could've. But instead, he let them overflow again and control him. It was his fault indeed.

And so, he lied there, crying to himself in misery and self-loathing. He felt so sorry, but he felt even the sincerest apology wouldn't be enough. Words meant nothing, but what could he possibly give to Iclyn? Not flowers, he didn't love her. Not a card, he hated those — a written apology would be even worse. Not a box of chocolate, it would be bribing her. Certainly not money, it would be the ultimate insult. He had nothing to give.

He felt broken and alone, and all of it was his own fault. How could he do anything right if all he did was failing?

Sirius must quit self-pity, it would do him no good. He stood up on his shaking legs.

If he was indeed alone, he needed to be strong for himself. Standing up against the world all by himself would require much strength.

"Sirius?" he heard a voice from behind. His hopes rose — it was Iclyn's voice. She came to him despite what he did to her!

"Iclyn..." he said, turning around. His eyes met hers. In hers, he saw some fear and uncertainty, as well as worry and concern. In his, she saw fear and hope. "I... I want to say, um... I'm sorry for the previous night." he said. He knew it wasn't enough, he just hoped she wouldn't abandon him completely. "I... I will do anything to make up to you."

"Sirius, you don't need to do anything." Iclyn assured him, surprised by his demeanor. "You were upset about your memories, that's it. I know you didn't mean it. Let's go back, you have a duel to fight. You need to rest."

"You... forgive me?" Sirius asked, frozen in place.

"You've not done anything bad to me." the pegasus filly said. "Really, we all get emotional sometimes. It's no big deal."

"...T-thank you." Sirius muttered, following her. "You are... a great friend, Iclyn! I'm... I'm thankful for this. I... I really am!"

"It's alright." Iclyn assured him, trying to calm him down. She was there for him, she needed to ensure he was alright. "Just follow me, and we'll soon be resting, okay?"

Sirius nodded. If she forgave him, it would be alright for him to be near her. He just needed to rest for a bit. Lie down, close the eyes, and sleep.

It was all he wanted.

Author's Notes:

Another small insight at what Sirius feels inside when there is no distraction. What do you think about it?

Chapter 37: The Tournament, Day Three

"Do you still think it's a good idea?" Celestia asked her younger sister. The two were sitting on their balcony, talking about the final day of the tournament. It was about half an hour before the last duel started.

"Tia..." Luna sighed. "I must do this, and I know what I'm doing, truly. Trust me, it would work just as I had explained to you earlier."

"I sure hope so." the solar alicorn frowned slightly. "But what about Sirius? Is he going to be alright with it?"

"I don't know... For him, it might be a possibility to vent off his frustration with me." the younger princess explained. "And for me, it will be a release of my own emotions. I know you want what's best for me, but I have to do this."

"..." Celestia let out a long sigh. "I hope you are right, Luna." she looked at her sister. "I always have trust in you, but I'm worried."

"I know, sister." Luna replied. "And I'm truly grateful. But it must be done."

Sirius was ready for the final duel. It was what he thought would be an ultimate test of his capabilities — a duel unlike any other he had ever taken part in before. It was thrilling, it was exciting, and yet it was also fearsome — what if he failed? He banished the thought out of his head — he wouldn't. He had gone through the best of the best, he climbed from the bottom to the top all by himself. He was going to tackle whatever waited for him. He was going to win, too. Nothing less.

Before the duel began, he warmed up by stretching and galloping around, making sure the blood flowed perfectly, allowing him to move fast and precise. He checked his swords for edge damage — there were some minor issues he would have to deal with later, but nothing alarming or in need of his immediate attention. The dents in his armor were fixed, but Pride Fight said that the armor would have to be replaced — it was getting too old anyway, and a good thrashing would most likely destroy it completely. However, the old stallion was proud of the fact that such a good warrior like Sirius was wearing it to battle.

After checking all the straps and making sure they were perfectly buckled, Sirius went to the arena. He was informed of the rules of the duel — only one hit to the exposed part of the body. Thus, his most vulnerable spot was his neck. There were also his legs, but they were harder to get.

The club members followed him since they needed to take their respective places on the tribunes. All of them wished him good luck. He nodded politely, but he knew that there was no such thing as luck, and it certainly wasn't by his side the most of his life. He didn't believe in luck — he trusted in his skill. He would never believe in a construct created by an intelligent mind. Such things tended to fail just as often as the minds of their creators did.

Finally, the former human entered the arena. He was very surprised and confused by its look: there was a thick fog lying across the ground, concentrating at the opposite end of the arena. Sirius frowned — he didn't expect it. What was it? A disorientation trick? Was he going to fight the fog? It didn't make sense to him. Though, it could be just a fancy effect for an introduction. He decided to stick with the last option and see where everything was leading to.

He stood at one end of the arena, the one that had less fog, and waited. He glanced at the highest balcony. Sirius noticed how nervous Luna looked. Celestia looked just as, if not more so nervous than her younger sister. Both were looking at the fog.

Sirius became slightly worried — who was going to fight against him? Who was the one the princesses of Equestria, both powerful alicorns, were so nervous about?

"Finally, the duel will begin!" the announcer spoke, immediately gathering all attention. "This time, Sirius stands against a peculiar opponent. Powerful and strong, she is more than a match for him. Introducing — Nightmare Moon, the queen of darkness herself!"

The crowd gasped, looking at the fog veil as a tall equine figure stepped out of it. Black as the darkest night, clad in ceremonial blue steel armor, slit-pupil eyed, slim alicorn mare appeared on the arena. Sharp fangs could be seen peeking out of her mouth as her aqua eyes looked at her opponent. Her raven-like wings were spread regally as she proudly walked out of the thick fog. A big sword was being levitated by her side. It was no regular sword, not even a longsword — it was a greatsword, one of the biggest of its type. More than two meters long, it almost came to the length of a spear.

Sirius frowned. She had armor only as a breastplate, hoof guards, and a helmet. However, he was sure getting her would be very difficult.

"Ah, you all insult me by placing me against such a pitiful little pony!" Nightmare Moon said with anger in her voice, mocking Sirius. He immediately drew his weapons out. "What is that he is holding? Toothpicks?" she guffawed. "Oh, my... Such a pathetic fool... This is the true sword." she levitated her greatsword in front of herself. "Oh, Sirius... Such a good name for somepony who shall be under my hoof very soon! Thy weapons are way too short for my liking." she grinned. "My sword is what holdeth true power — the power of the moon!"

The greatsword started glowing, just like the moon. The pale light spread throughout the blade, making it glow eerily.

"This is the Greatsword of Judgement." Nightmare Moon declared. "And now, it shall judge thy worth, Sirius!" she saluted. "Once thou art defeated, I shall plunge this world into eternal darkness, and only one true light shall shine — the moonlight!"

Sirius tightened the grip on his swords. It was going to be a fight unlike any other. He analyzed his opponent. She was an alicorn, meaning she could fly as well as use magic. Her voice was slightly familiar, but he couldn't quite place it yet. Then, her special mark caught his eye. It looked identical to Luna's.

The former human looked at the nightly princess. There was something hidden behind her eyes... Fear. Regret. And... Something else.

As Nightmare Moon approached Sirius slowly, and yet putting power behind her regal steps, the orchestra started playing a song.

https://youtu.be/Tl2NfsblnZs

"O-oh, majestic!" Nightmare Moon said, laughing.

Suddenly, she lunged forward, closing the distance between her and Sirius in one swift motion of her huge wings. She thrusted her sword, but her opponent managed to evade the hit by dodging to the side. She immediately followed by swinging her greatsword. Fortunately, Sirius parried the hit and tried to land his own, only to meet her blade once again.

Sirius grunted, and tried to stab her with his shortsword. However, Nightmare Moon caught it in her magic and threw away. The blade flew through the arena and managed to get stuck in a wooden wall that separated the tribunes from the field of battle.

"Oh no, thou shalt fight with only one sword, little pony." the alicorn of darkness taunted him.

Sirius jumped away just in time to evade another hit. The alicorn was unrelenting: she struck fast, trying to get to him. The former human had to use his sword to block and deflect the hits. He couldn't riposte without being hit, and thus tried to find an opening for him to strike.

However, it seemed like luck wasn't on his side. So, he had only a few options to choose from. He decided to at least bring the battle to equal grounds. He started trying to hit the alicorn mare with his sword. She blocked his hits, but the battle was no longer one-sided.

The two exchanged hits for a few moments before Nightmare Moon used her wings to glide to the side and attempt to take Sirius by surprise. It almost worked, but her sword met his armor. The force of the strike dented the armor and almost made Sirius fall. However, he managed to retaliate and deflect the next hit, albeit barely — the armor restricted his movements, mostly his right foreleg.

"Thou shalt not win, fool!" Nightmare Moon taunted him. "I had decades of training, and thou hast lived a little more than a decade. Thou art not a match for me, not by the long shot!"

Sirius didn't say anything, focusing on delivering hits instead. The battle was fast-paced, his speed and agility matched by his opponent's skills and characteristics — they were fighting almost equally.

Suddenly, the alicorn discharged a blast of magic, sending Sirius flying across the arena. The crowd gasped as he hit the wooden wall and fell to the ground, his armor almost completely in ruins. Even with the spell going, he was confused. The force of the hit was very hard, making it hard to return to the senses.

"I am more powerful than thou shalt ever be!" Nightmare Moon declared. "Surrender whilst thou hast a chance and join me! Such a warrior must not be wasted in the sunlight but serve the moonlight!"

Sirius stood up slowly, his dizziness fading. Thankfully, he still had his sword in his magical grasp. He undid the buckles and took off the armor, leaving only a gambeson. It was torn slightly, but still functional. He also left his helmet on. The crest was dented and almost broken off, but he still needed protection.

"Oh, undressing already..." the alicorn bit her lower lip. "Are you surrendering your body to me?"

Sirius snorted, getting dust out of his muzzle. Then, he raised his sword.

"Pity the fool, for he hath sealed his fate!" Nightmare Moon declared, and then propelled herself forward by a powerful wing flap. She extended her sword, preparing to pierce Sirius.

Sirius dodged to the side, his opponent's sword cutting the side of the gambeson but not getting the body underneath it. The colt acted swiftly and followed his dodge by a downwards cut. The mare deflected the blow, forcing him to step back and retract his sword to parry her own hit.

The former human couldn't figure out how to beat his opponent. The alicorn was agiler, had more speed, and was certainly stronger than him. However, he wasn't going to give up. He wouldn't surrender — he must win.

Finally, he managed to land the first hit, slightly denting the side of Nightmare Moon's helmet. She shook her head and used her magic to push Sirius away before he could strike again.

"Impressive." she admitted, looking at him.

Sirius went forward, swinging his blade. The hit was blocked and riposted, leaving him but a millisecond of time to either block or deflect it. The tip of the greatsword went over his fur, barely touching it. He didn't give up and went in for a stab, trying to thrust at the mare's neck. He didn't succeed but was very close to it.

Meanwhile, everyone silently observed the battle. To them, it was but a blur and sounds of clashes that overpowered the raging music. Celestia and Luna were particularly impressed. The nightly alicorn wasn't sure Sirius would be able to hold on for so long. She had summoned an image of her darker self. She conjured a phantom of herself, of who she was just before her battle against her own sister a bit more than a thousand years ago. She and her fighting skills were in their prime back then.

Luna couldn't believe her own aggression was matched by Sirius'. He fought without holding back, and she could see he was going for especially deadly moves. If not for Nightmare Moon's magical prowess that was further fueled by her emotions, and if the spell wasn't up, Sirius would most likely pierce the neck or cut the head right off the body, which would be a gruesome and gory display.

Suddenly, Sirius was knocked down by a powerful magical blast. He dropped his sword, leaving himself completely defenseless. Nightmare Moon picked up his sword before he could do it, and then levitated him up by the neck. It didn't hurt, but the former human certainly didn't like being used as a toy. He bared his teeth, anger in his eyes.

The song silenced, coming to a stop, and only the booming silence remained.

"Well, now..." Nightmare Moon laughed. "It seemeth thou hast lost, Sirius." she crossed her own sword and his, making a scissor-like combination of blades. "Admit it."

He struggled against the magical grip, but it was futile. He frantically looked around, searching for a way to divert the alicorn's attention.

"Admit thy defeat, and I might spare thee." she taunted. "Afraid, art thou not?"

Sirius found something. It was his shortsword, stuck in the wall. He needed to get it out.

To distract the mighty alicorn, he used a portion of his magic to push the blades away from his neck.

"Oh my, still struggling..." Nightmare Moon giggled. "It seemeth the battle hath left thee powerless. Thy powers are weak, foal. Surrender to me."

He took hold of the shortsword and tugged it. It was firmly stuck in the wood, but he didn't give up, pouring more power into his grip.

"Only a few words..." the alicorn whispered to him. "Admit thy defeat. Thou canst not run, thou canst not fight. I may grant thee mercy, but only if thou submit thyself to me."

Princess Luna leaned in, noticing something. She saw how Sirius struggled to get out the shortsword. However, she feared he wouldn't be able to do it. It seemed her darker self had gained the victory. Luna's ears dropped, sadness showing on her face in a frown. Was the darkness truly that strong?

Finally, Sirius got the blade out of its wooden confines. He pulled it, turned it around, and aimed for Nightmare Moon's neck.

"Why art thou silent?" she demanded to know, anger flaring in her voice. "Canst thou not see? The night reigns now! Submit thyself to it, or be burnt into the sun thou so likest!"

Sirius sent the weapon flying towards the alicorn. The shortsword went right through her neck with its tip forward and then landed on the ground nearby. The colt blinked in confusion — wasn't it supposed to be either stuck in her or bounce off her neck?

Nightmare Moon's eyes widened in surprise as she looked at the sword. Then, her eyes returned to Sirius. A grin appeared on her face.

"Most impressive." she said before disappearing in a puff of black smoke.

Sirius fell to the ground, the air knocked out of his lungs. He slowly got up and looked around. His opponent was gone, both his swords were lying nearby.

There was something else, however. In the place of the dark alicorn, a sword was hovering above the ground. It was the greatsword Nightmare Moon used against him.

He warily approached the greatsword. His magic wrapped around it and brought it closer to him. There was no resistance. Surprisingly, the sword seemed to be lighter than it was. The crescent-shaped crossguard and the pommel were decorated with carved ornaments. There was also a round blue gem inside the pommel, reflecting the light in a beautiful way. The blade was straight, tapering towards the end nicely in a more thrust-oriented fashion. It also featured two fang-like protrusions closer to the guard. The part of the blade between them and the guard was unsharpened — it was the ricasso. The sword was finely balanced for its size, and it was definitely suitable for fencing.

Sirius raised his new sword in victory. He won. The audience erupted in cheering, adding thunderous applause quickly after. Even the princesses bore smiles on their faces and clapped.

It was a meaningful day for the former human. Not only he defeated everyone in his path and was rewarded with a grand amount of money, he also beat a very powerful being comprised of dark and negative emotions. Such a victory gave him a new weapon. As Nightmare Moon called it — the Greatsword of Judgement.

Sirius had proven his worth indeed.

Author's Notes:

I bet you didn't expect Nightmare Moon to show up, did you? Even as a phantom, a mere image conjured by Luna, she is still very powerful. If not for her own love of gloating over her victories, Nightmare Moon would win. It could almost qualify as a clichè defeat, but I decided to go with it because I'm certain it's how Luna would imagine her own dark self to be.

Chapter 38: After the Tournament

The end of the tournament was celebrated with a grand feast. The first three ponies: Sirius, Fancy Pants, and Midnight Hour were honored with the right to dine with the princesses themselves. Sirius, as the one who had won both the main tournament and the secret nomination, was seated near the princesses as an honorary pony.

The remains of the armor were taken away by Pride Fight, who promised to place them on a stand in the club. He decided not to send it to reforging. He also took away Sirius' swords for repairing the minor blade damage, but he left the colt with the Greatsword of Judgement.

Sirius was also gifted with a decorative scabbard by Princess Luna. It was made of durable wood covered in dark-blue cloth. The scabbard also featured silver locket and chape, as well as ornaments on said parts. Overall, the scabbard was no less beautiful than the sword itself.

The former human ate silently, enjoying the food provided by the royal sisters. While he didn't enjoy being close to them, he had to keep a straight face and polite behavior. He didn't want to ruin the celebration for everyone just because he had personal problems with the princesses. Though, he did feel better — he managed to strike down Nightmare Moon. He figured out it was the alter-ego of Luna. If he managed to beat that image, he could stand a chance against its creator. Though, he would need to find something to enhance his magic. It was way weaker than alicorn's, and Sirius was sure Nightmare Moon would fry or freeze him alive if the rules permitted. He matched her in the art of fencing, but there was a great way for him to go before he would be at least half as good at magic as she was.

While Sirius could probably spend years in training, said training could only go under less powerful unicorns or under Luna. He wasn't sure the principle 'the students beats the teacher' could be applied to such a situation, and thus he decided to find something to enhance his magical abilities artificially. In the world of spells, there certainly were artifacts of power or at least potions. He would like to rely on something more stable than a drink, and thus he needed to find an artifact.

Where to find it, the question was. He needed to make a search, a thorough one. If he had to fight any alicorn, he would need to use anything available to him — the rules of honor can never be applied to survival. And he wanted to survive. He wouldn't let himself die by someone without taking them with him. He made sure of it in his previous life, he would make sure of it in his current life.

There is no honor in survival. There are no rules. You either survive or you don't. It was what Sirius thought, at the very least. He was in situations where giving up would grant his enemies victory, and it was what he couldn't allow to happen. He would never allow such a thing to happen.

Alicorns weren't his allies or friends. One of them tried to invade his mind by force. Another tried to snake her way in by using words. He let neither in — only he could choose whom to allow entrance, whom to grant access to his inner darkness. One had to deserve it first.

Sirius' thoughts went to Iclyn. She was the only one he could trust. He had proven to be a good friend. She wasn't forceful with her help. She wasn't just an adult who only cared because... Why? He never found the answer to that. Many people only seemed to care, making it look like they are hurt by it. Why? Because the society pressured them into it. Sirius knew well how people think, he knew why he couldn't trust an adult. They were too 'formed', engulfed and consumed by the society, made a part of the gray mess the humanity was. Did they truly care about people they didn't know? Sirius didn't think so.

However, Iclyn was different, he could feel it in a way he couldn't describe with words in any language. She was way younger than him, but she was almost as mature as he was. But she didn't have to pass through what he did. Sirius didn't know why he trusted her so much, but he did. It wasn't the lack of choice or desperation. It was... a pull. An unexplainable pull to her. An itch in the corner of his mind he didn't feel much but couldn't forget or ignore completely.

Sirius didn't believe in love at the first sight. He didn't believe in mythical forces either. Love was always an instrument of continuing one's bloodline, and mythical forces were conjured by frail human minds. All those concepts: love, friendship, beliefs, superstitions... They were created by humans. He never relied on luck or a higher being — he considered either to be the constructs of a human mind, imagined by it in the times of terror, in the times when the human was surrounded by unexplainable and unexplored.

Why would Sirius ever trust something so elusive and so... odd? He could only trust himself. Maybe another one, too. He never trusted an invisible force, he never would. He had searched for a... salvation of sorts. It was true, he did search for spiritual salvation. He never believed in promises of the afterlife and heaven, however. He didn't believe that praying would do him any good.

He found salvation in death instead.

Maybe this new life was the afterlife a deity had given him. He could never know for sure what it was. Was he the only human to receive such a strange... gift? Or was it a gift at all?

He wouldn't bother to find out. What mattered was there and then. Philosophy, pondering on the meaning of life, existence of God, Sirius wasn't interested in them. He was more focused on the practical aspects of life, for they bore more fruit than mindless thoughts.

He was alive and more or less well, that was what mattered to him. He crawled out of the grave, he got his tongue and the ability to speak, he even made friends with an alien, a different mind. He also won a tournament, he proved his strength. He could survive in the new world.

Luna noticed how deep in thought Sirius was. While he was eating, pretending to be focused on the meal, there was something behind his eyes, something that was far away from that situation he was in. The princess didn't know what it was, but there was interest in her, as well as worry. What could an alien mind think? Was he thinking about his world? Was he planning anything? Luna couldn't know without looking inside, and she was sure Sirius wouldn't let her.

She saw how easy it was for him to perform killing blows. Other contestants were aiming at safe places like armor or legs while he aimed anywhere he saw fit, mostly on the head and neck area. He would murder Luna without a second thought if she tried to enter his mind, she was sure of it.

As much as she wanted to know what plagued him, as much as she wanted to help, she could only rely on others. Especially on Iclyn — Luna felt a connection between the pegasus and the colt. It was a thin string, almost unnoticeable in the sea of different emotions and connections. But it was there, and it was growing, strengthening with each passing moment. It seemed Sirius had subconsciously reinforced the connection by using his own thoughts and desires. Luna could almost see a flow of his inner self. It was a mix of mostly dark, some gray, and a bit of light.

Iclyn was sitting at another table. She was slightly nervous due to the presence of the princesses nearby but held herself well, enjoying the food and drinks that they provided.

She was happy that Sirius won. He was especially restless during the two previous nights, and she hoped that the victory eased his mind. However, there was still help he needed, and the pegasus filly was thinking about how to approach him about it. She decided to wait until they were alone before talking to the colt about it.

Near the evening, the celebration finally ended. Sirius and the rest of Golden Sun Fencing Club embarked on a train to Canterlot. The colt proudly wore the crown he was given, two swords by his side. He decided to return the shortsword since it wasn't particularly his style to use a second weapon.

His longsword was repaired and the edge became as good as new. Sirius carried an envelope with himself — it was a cheque of five thousand bits. He was told he would be able to use it in Equestrian Bank and receive all his money right away. He didn't know what to use it for, however. He decided to wait and think about the possible options.

Sirius had spent most of the ride time resting with his eyes closed. He was in a half-asleep state. If he wanted, he would wake up instantly. He relaxed because it was nothing else do to. Unfortunately, he didn't have the dictionary with him to learn new words, and so he couldn't really do anything but try to get some sleep. He was pretty tired by the end of the day, and the sleep he got during the two previous nights wasn't even that good. All in all, the sense of resting made him feel much better.

When they finally arrived, Sirius went straight to the apartment, and Iclyn followed him. As soon as he got there, he took a cool shower, dried himself off, and went straight to bed.

"Sirius..." Iclyn called him, some uncertainty in her voice. "I want to talk to you."

"Hm?" he replied, turning to her.

"Um, I... Well, I can see that there is something really troubling you." she said nervously. "I'm not forcing you into anything, but... maybe you'll try to talk about it? I promise I'll be a good listener and maybe give you a piece of advice... if you need it, of course."

"..." Sirius thought. It would only be fair if he spoke to her about what was plaguing him. He wanted to get some weight off of his shoulders, and he wanted to... he didn't know, actually. It just felt right to talk to her. "I... I been thinking a lot..." he started slowly. "On that night, I thought about... someone... dear to me." he said. "We were good friends. For some time, at least." his voice was quiet and filled with regret and sadness. "Then, I did something very stupid. I thought it was alright, and then I made else. But all of it was stupid and hurt my... friend. We separated and... I haven't seen for years since then. Almost... four years.

"Not your years. My years are three hundred sixty-five days, sometimes a day longer. We don't control weather or sun or moon." he explained. "So... I thought about that friend and... I miss them." he didn't want to talk about that specific friend who was more than a friend to him.

"What did you do to them?" Iclyn asked.

"I hurt them by what I did but... not actually... um... directly. I would never hurt them." Sirius replied. "I did stupid things, alright? I... don't think I can say more." he hung his head slightly. "The past is past. I can't fix it. I just fear... I fear I might hurt you same or worse." he looked up at his friend. "I already hurt you, and... I just want you know, I... never wanted to do it."

"Sirius, sometimes friends hurt each-other." Iclyn said. "However, we overcome those feelings and our bond becomes stronger. No relationship is perfect, after all. My father told me once that a relationship without a single fight isn't a real relationship."

"I hurt my friend too much." Sirius said. "I... We couldn't get together again." he explained. He hadn't received a single call or email from her ever since they drifted away. However, he remembered he didn't do it either. He hadn't put any effort into reestablishing the relationship. Of what use? It was ruined either way.

At least Sirius thought so. He was just an unneeded person. If she didn't need him, his words and efforts, then he was a bad friend. More importantly, he was a bad lover. Even after confessing his feelings to her, he continued to make mistakes that hurt her. He didn't deserve any relationship. Later, he realized how useless relationships are in the first place, but it was already too late.

He hoped he would become a better person, but the hope was dim. He made mistakes. He wasn't sure he would be able to evade repeating them.

Author's Notes:

So, now you know why Sirius has self-loathing. It's the main reason he has it — he doesn't believe he can be a good friend to anyone. Even the concept of any relationship is rejected by him as evident in his thoughts. Why engage in a relationship if it's going to fail anyway? Better pretend it doesn't matter and he can live without it just fine.

And what do you think, dear readers?

Chapter 39: Means of Defense

Once Sirius returned to the apartment, he remembered his promise to himself. He needed to find something magical to be able to defend himself against powerful users of magic, mainly alicorns. He wanted to be prepared for anything, be it a rise of an ancient enemy, corruption of existing alicorns, or anything else that might happen in the future. He knew combat, but his skills of magic weren't sufficient enough to battle alicorns. He couldn't afford spending years to learn it. In the fantasy world, there certainly were powerful magical artifacts, and Sirius intended to find at least one of them.

He spent the next few days staying late at the school library, going over many books about magic and the like, trying to find at least a mention of an artifact. His mind was so focused on that task he barely got any sleep. The dark circles around his eyes returned, giving him an eerie and scary look.

Iclyn was worried for him but she didn't know what to do. She knew he was searching for something, but he refused to let her know what it was. The filly was afraid of pushing forward since she feared he would react negatively to it. He kept his thoughts hidden and only let out small portions of them when he felt like it. There wasn't anything she could do, unfortunately. She decided to watch over him and help him if he went too far.

On the third day of his research, it finally gave fruit. In a dusty and old book, he found a mention of a powerful artifact that was described as being able to perform high-level spells. It gave the user untold, alicorn-level powers, greatly empowering him or her. Not only that, but the artifact was wearable and couldn't be taken off by anyone but the user themselves.

However, such power came at a price. The artifact, the Alicorn Amulet, corrupted its user the longer it was being used.

Sirius pondered about it. What did it mean — corrupt? Would he become greedy, power-hungry? He didn't believe in it. He had a strong mind, one that could withstand the invasion of an alicorn. Besides, there was nothing to corrupt. Sirius didn't define himself as being good in the first place. He was only himself, not aligned to such foolish concepts based on flawed moral. There was no black or white and he knew it. He had done many things that were considered bad, and he didn't regret most of them.

The former human knew he wasn't a good person. He could already see how uncomfortable Iclyn seemed to be around him. He saw how Luna looked at him during and after the tournament. He was sure neither of them saw him as good.

Ultimately, Sirius decided to find the artifact. He needed to find that amulet and make it his. Buy it, steal it, take it by force, anything could work. He couldn't afford being the weak one. There was nothing that could stop him from gaining leverage over those that might try to hurt him.

Deep in the evening, he went to the oldest part of Canterlot. He had a saddlebag with himself, a letter he earlier received from Luna inside it. The Royal Seal was still present on the letter unbroken, and Sirius gently removed the paper from it. He also made a plan for getting the artifact if it was in someone's collection or shop. Overall, he was prepared.

He had heard about a curio shop that was placed in the old part of the city, in one of the alleyways, hidden from most. It dealt in many mysterious items, magical and not, ancient and fairly new. Sirius decided that it was worth a try. Looking there definitely wouldn't hurt.

He saw clouds gathering above his head as pegasi pushed them. A rain would start very soon, and he hoped he would be able to get back to the apartment by then, with or without the amulet.

Soon, he saw the entrance to the shop. He peeked inside the window and saw a stallion by the counter who seemed to be asleep. Perhaps Sirius wouldn't need to give him anything. However, if need arose, he knew how to act.

He opened the door slightly, and it touched the tubular bells, waking up the shopkeeper. Sirius winced — he was stupid, very stupid not to expect something like this.

"Oh, good evening, sir!" the stallion said, adjusting his glasses and stifling a yawn as he rose from the counter. "How may I be of assistance? It seems... something brought you here, but I don't know it yet. Interesting..." he scratched his chin in confusion. Usually he was able to tell why ponies came to his shop.

Sirius looked around the shop. Frankly, it was a mess, nothing was in any particular order. Wardrobes, chairs, curtains and carpets, plates, all kinds of things were littered around the room, making it quite hard to navigate through. There was an especially interesting chair — old and simple, made of dark wood, it was standing atop a wardrobe, a sign placed above it that read: Don't sit, cursed!

However, it wasn't what Sirius was looking for. He soon noticed the item he needed. The amulet was placed under a glass dome. The colt could feel magic radiating from it, very powerful magic. Certainly, it was it.

"Princess Luna ordered me to collect this item." Sirius gestured at the alicorn amulet, levitating the seal simultaneously and showing it to the shopkeeper. "It will be kept in her private stash for safekeeping purposes."

"Oh, her nightly majesty?" the stallion leaned closer to get a good look at the seal. "Her word is law, and I abide the law. You may take it, but beware — don't put it on."

"I'm aware of the way of handling this dangerous artifact." Sirius said. "This is why her majesty wants it secured."

"Yes, indeed! I'm glad to be of assistance." the shopkeeper nodded.

Sirius levitated the amulet to himself and took a good look at it. It bore the effigy of a red-and-gray alicorn, along with a massive blood-red gem of rhombic shape. The former human could already feel its power and might. Such a force would,surely be reckoned with, and it would certainly help him if he ever fought an alicorn or any other magically powerful being.

Sirius stuffed the amulet into the saddlebag and exited the curio shop. As the door closed behind him, a cloaked figure bumped against him and went past him into the shop. The colt just grunted in displeasure and went his own way.

Unfortunately, the rain had started by then, and it was somewhat heavy. Sirius was soon soaking wet, but it didn't bother him that much in the light of his most recent accomplishment. He got a very powerful artifact, and he was sure he would be able to combat Luna or Celestia or any other alicorn if it ever came to it. He didn't trust them at all and wanted to be sure he was safe from them in any way possible.

He would hide the amulet where his revolver was — right under the mattress of his bed. He might buy a special box for those life-saving items. After all, he had the means to do so. He could maybe buy himself a house. However, he wasn't sure he would be able to pay taxes.

"Wait!" he heard suddenly. He turned around and saw a cloaked pony. Judging by the voice, they were a she. Sirius could clearly see a horn as well, marking her as a unicorn. He remembered bumping into her just a few minutes ago. "You have the Alicorn Amulet, right?"

Sirius nodded warily. What was it to her? He prepared to fight. He was glad he never went anywhere without his sword.

"Can you give it to me, please?" the mare asked. "I'll pay you!" her horn glowed and a bag of bits was levitated from under her cloak.

"No." Sirius replied simply, and then turned away to leave. He baited her, waiting for her to react to his words.

Just as he expected, he heard splashes of water behind him as the mare dashed towards him. He immediately dodged to the side while unsheathing his longsword, preparing to defend himself and the artifact. The mare stumbled, stopping herself. She saw the sword and knew that Sirius wouldn't be easy to take down. However, she tried to grab his sword with her magic.

Without hesitation or doubt, Sirius broke the contact as soon as he saw her magic glow on his sword. He swung his sword at her and cut the edges of her cloak, as well as cutting her foreleg slightly, causing her to drop to the ground in pain. The blood started streaming down her leg, soon mixing with water and painting it red.

Sirius pointed the sword at her, ready to finish her off for good. If she knew what the artifact was, he couldn't allow her to leave. She might try to steal it from him later or worse — use it against him. He couldn't allow either.

"Please, no!" the mare begged, trying to crawl away, only to gasp in pain. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

Sirius thought for a moment. Why take a life? He wasn't a complete monster. She wasn't someone he would kill either. Maybe that mare had a reason for wanting the artifact so badly.

"Why do you need it?" he asked warily, his sword still pointing at her.

"I just need revenge!" the mare replied quickly, holding onto the thin string of hope. She didn't know the pony before her, and she feared he would harm her further.

"What was done to you?"

"T-they humiliated me! Made me laughable, miserable, I can no longer do what I like, what I worked for so hard!" the mare said rapidly, afraid of being not believable.

"...There are other ways extracting revenge." Sirius said. He knew what he was talking about. "And... maybe it is your fault." he turned away from her. The mare looked down. She couldn't convince him to give her the artifact. "You will call guard, they will wrap the cut, and you will be silent of this." he turned his head back to her. "You fell and cut your leg, that's it. Now, I disappear. You call guards when I'm away. Understand?"

"Y-yes." the mare nodded, and then hissed in pain.

Swiftly, Sirius disappeared around the closest corner, getting away from the mare. From then on, it was her problems, not his.

After all, he got what he wanted.

Author's Notes:

This chapter was smaller than usual, but I felt it didn't fit in anywhere else.

Now, Sirius, a mentally unstable person who doesn't fear violence or its use, is in possession of the Alicorn Amulet. If a sword and a gun wasn't enough, he got a powerful magical artifact that brought him on equal grounds with alicorns themselves.

This chapter also shows that he doesn't mind using excessive violence or coercion. He isn't sympathetic to strangers either, especially those who try to attack him.

A note to you all — don't try to attack someone who has a sharp weapon if you don't have the element of surprise or an equal or a better weapon. All those disarming techniques simply don't work if your opponent isn't a complete disabled idiot.

To make things clear — yes, it was Trixie. And yet, it's the second season show-timeline-wise. MLP was always known for a somewhat wonky timeline, but my justification here is that Trixie might've gotten it earlier to test in and plan her revenge. I've also learned that Magic Duel was planned for the second season first.

Chapter 40: Safety

Sirius returned to the apartment deep in the evening. Iclyn wasn't yet sleeping and greeted him as he entered the room.

"Hey, Sirius," she said. "Um, if you don't mind me asking... Where've you been?"

"Just getting something for myself." he replied, setting down his saddlebag near the bed. Iclyn glanced at it, and then looked back at Sirius. Without another word, he went into the bathroom and closed the door behind himself.

Iclyn stood up and walked to his bed. What was so special about the item that Sirius had gotten? He seemed to be obsessed with something for a few recent days. The filly noticed how much time he had spent with the books, going over them swiftly as if he was searching for something very specific. What was it? Iclyn didn't have a clue.

However, she could take a peek at it. She cautiously opened the saddlebag and looked inside. What she saw surprised her. It was the amulet unlike any other she's seen before. It made her feel strange as fear crawled up her spine just by looking at it. Something about the amulet was off, also making her very nervous.

She closed the saddlebag and took a few steps away from it. She didn't like what she saw and she feared it. She couldn't understand the reason behind her sudden spike of emotions. What was so unnerving about the amulet?

Then it hit her — the amulet represented an alicorn! Though, not a specific one. The amulet was made... to store the power that could rival alicorn's.

Iclyn couldn't believe it. Was Sirius interested in Black Magic? She could feel something forbidden inside the strange item he had gotten. There was a certain feel to it when she saw it.

Her eyes widened. What if he planned on killing someone? He was violent, aggressive, and had gone through terrible events that made his previous life a wreck. Those events hardened him and made him cold. She knew little of it, but she suspected Sirius had gotten the item because he needed power. Why he needed power? She didn't know.

She failed to hear the door opening behind her. Sirius stepped out of the bathroom and immediately noticed her staring at his saddlebag. It didn't take half a brain to figure out what was going on.

Sirius frowned. He realized her curiosity led to discovery of the Alicorn Amulet, and she could definitely feel its power and possible curse.

"Iclyn." he called her calmly. She jumped in place and turned around. Her eyes shrunk in fear. "You saw it."

She knew it wasn't a question but a statement. All she could do was nod.

"S-Sirius..." she said nervously. His expression was blank, she couldn't tell what he was thinking. "Why do you need it?"

The former human sighed. He went around her and to the saddlebag. He opened it and fully revealed the amulet.

"So, you know what it is?" he asked the filly, showing her the amulet.

"I... I think it, um, stores the power to be l-like an alicorn." she explained, stuttering. Sirius noticed how much she feared him, and it brought sadness to him. Was he hurting his friend? "There's s-something darker to it... Why do you need it?"

"There were times I was defenseless." Sirius explained, looking at the artifact. "I was... hurt very much. Because of what was done to me, I am here." he turned to Iclyn. She understood his words — he couldn't bear living in that world anymore because someone had pushed him into committing suicide. "Because of my defenselessness, I could do nothing but... do 'the unthinkable', Iclyn." he sighed again. "Now... I won't repeat mistakes. I will not be defenseless." he looked at his longsword. It was placed near the corner of his bed, right next to his pillow.

"I... I don't know what you've been through, but..." Iclyn said, calming down a little. It seemed to her that Sirius wouldn't hurt her. "I don't think you'll need, uh, this here."

"I was attacked." Sirius cut her off. "For an item. You are wrong, I need everything. This..." he levitated the necklace closer to himself. "Can help me. My magic is weak, and this thing gives me magic. I can be equal to alicorn." he clicked the amulet, securing it around his neck. His eyes briefly flashed red as it imbued him with untold power. "I can feel it now. I will not be defenseless." he said, and then breathed in deeply.

He could feel the power cracking inside him, begging to be released. He could be like a god — making a place for himself, stomping everyone in his path, never letting anyone even think about hurting him. It was a feeling unlike any other — the feeling of being completely invulnerable, omnipotent. He could create and destroy, give life or kill, anything was within his grasp at that moment.

He levitated the longsword to himself. A weapon of his choice, it was no match for his new powers. However, he still needed it. It was his display of power and control. Who would disobey someone who had a weapon? No one. Sirius could make anyone do what he wanted, bend their wills to do his own. He could make everyone pay for what they did to him. He could search for a way back to Earth and wreck it until no one remained. Oppressive, uncaring governments, no more. Rapists, murderers, slavers, they would be erased from existence. He could make humans bow to him as if he were a god. He could control them, and nothing would happen without him.

He would be able to do anything to make sure that the humanity wouldn't able to reach the stars and new worlds, he would keep their filthy hands away from the beauty of undiscovered and the unknown. They would no longer taint the universe.

Something made Sirius look at Iclyn. She was in the corner of the room, cowering in fear, her hooves covering her eyes. She was shaking from fear, and the former human could swear he saw tears of terror. A brief look of sadness passed over Sirius' face.

He stopped to think. Was he hurting Iclyn? Why was she afraid of him? Friends shouldn't be afraid of each-other. They were friends, right? He wouldn't hurt her — she had done nothing wrong. He would just make sure that no one worse than him would ever discover Equestria. If there were no more humans, then everything would be safe. He didn't mean to scare his only friend, he just wanted to explain that he simply didn't want to be vulnerable, he didn't want the humanity to reach and taint Equestria or any other beautiful world. Maybe she just couldn't understand it. He didn't blame her — she had never seen his world, its dangers and cruelties, and especially its inhabitants. They were vile monsters, comprised of the worst, made to inflict pain upon others, forcibly reproduce, and then repeat the cycle over and over again.

But... something was wrong with it. Not with it but with him. If they were monsters, so was he. Or was he? He believed he could change. Maybe. Probably. He could at least try.

What he did to Iclyn was like showing an armed nuclear bomb. A device to erase everything from existence, leave nothing but ashes. He had what he thought was its magical counterpart. An artifact so powerful it would be able to bend entire nations, bring them on their knees.

And yet, Sirius hesitated. Was what he was doing right? No one supported him. No one even remotely liked him. He was just like those he hated so much. In the new world, was there a place for him? He was just a hateful beast that wanted to see his birthplace burn and turn into pale ashes.

His ears drooped, he hung his head. He was practically threatening the only one who was close to him. The only one he wanted and could be friends with, someone that might understand him and help him become better. And yet, he pushed her away.

No wonder he didn't have any friends.

He took off the amulet, levitated the mattress and put the artifact near the revolver. Unbeknownst to him, the intense red glow and his angered expression faded into regret and sadness.

"Iclyn..." he stepped towards the filly, making her look at him. "I... I didn't mean to scare. I will use the amulet only when absolutely needed. I promise." seeing no reaction, he sat down and looked at the floor. "I... I just want... safety." he said. Another few words were almost uttered by him, but he held them back. He didn't think he could let her know his deep desires. Though, the unspoken words resonated inside his head: "I want affection, sympathy, understanding, comfort..."

Iclyn lowered her hooves. Instead of someone scary and alien, she saw someone broken, someone who was too damaged to ever think of peace, and yet he wanted it like nothing else. In his eyes, she saw someone longing for friendship and affection, not someone willing to hurt others. The anger, the hatred inside him, it wasn't directed at her. It was all he knew, it was the only way he knew how to survive in any world. Keeping others away was what he knowingly and unknowingly did. He just wanted to be safe but couldn't.

He wasn't a monster, Iclyn realized. As alien as he was, as hard as it was to understand him, in the end he had emotions just like any other being. Regret, sadness, happiness, love, hate, fear, longing, nothing was foreign to him. He was just another being searching for his happiness and place in life. Like anyone else, he didn't want to be harmed. Unlike others, he had to go through what Iclyn probably couldn't even imagine. However, she could understand why he did what he did and why he went to such extreme measures to be safe.

She went up to him and hugged him gently, the sudden contact sending electricity down his spine, making him shudder and almost gasp. Tears started streaming down his face as he gave into the warm comfort of another being.

He might've been filled with hate, but affection wasn't foreign to him. He clung to this feeling, and he felt safe with Iclyn.

Maybe he wouldn't need that artifact.

Author's Notes:

I hope you all understand that it was the amulet that made Sirius think about total domination and absolute destruction. Though, he still holds a lot of resentment and hate towards Earth's most intelligent inhabitants. Some of them are not so intelligent, after all.

And yes, a powerful artifact that can also corrupt and a mentally unstable person isn't the best combination out there. Thankfully, Sirius managed to suppress the newfound desire for destruction and domination.

So, what do you all think about this? Theories, thoughts, anything is welcome.

P.S. New chapters will be bigger. I was working on my other stories, and that's why the two most recent chapters are shorter in comparison to others.
P.P.S. Iclyn could sense the Alicorn Amulet only when she was very close to it. A unicorn would probably sense it at the doorway.

To top it all, I wrote this chapter in one go during a few hours at night. I really should change my sleeping pattern.

Chapter 41: Feelings

Sirius sat all alone during recess, munching on a daisy sandwich in the cafeteria. He was bored, truth be told. The lessons of pretty much anything were turning into routine he didn't like much. Sit in one place, listen, write, go back to the apartment, do some homework, sleep, and then the cycle repeated. He didn't learn anything new for himself aside from history and language lessons. He was good at math, he wasn't too interested in literature or poetry, he was indifferent to art, and music class didn't catch his attention. There were also lessons of Law where he learned about one of the most boring aspects there was — law. He already knew the basics, he didn't need them repeated again.

Though, a few things were interesting to him. First of all, there were few laws regulating weapons in Equestria. The crime had been decreasing ever since the two royal sisters took the throne. Violent crimes disappeared first, robberies and the like second, even petty theft and other small crimes were at their lowest. He gave some respect to the princesses — they managed to do what humans couldn't.

Sirius began to like ponies more and more. While they weren't unlike humans in many ways, they were vastly different. They were peaceful and friendly, at least most of them. Their weaponry wasn't developed as far as humans' was. However, the temp of development was noticeably lower. The most technologically advanced race were the minotaurs. They shared many traits with humans, such as lacking deus ex machina-esque magic. Just like humans, the minotaurs had to rely on machinery to survive and flourish.

However, the former human didn't mind slow progress. Peace, true serenity was much more important than a race to the stars or anything else. While there wasn't internet or TV, he was actually glad to be away from them. It left him time to study and train instead of wasting his life before a screen. He wasn't addictive to games or films, but they certainly made him quite lazy when it came to studying. Though, Sirius had to admit that the internet gave the most of his knowledge he used in his day-to-day existence. If not for what he got from the free source of information, he would most likely be dead, and not by his own hands.

His line of thoughts stopped when he saw Iclyn walking up to him.

"Hey." she said, greeting him after the two were separated by the lesson of Magic. He responded to her greeting by simply nodding. "I... Well, maybe it's not my place to say, but I suppose you should go out more." the filly said slightly nervously. "Um, I just think that you need to meet a few ponies, get to know them. Maybe enjoy some activities together, you know?"

"I don't want socialize." Sirius replied. "I trust very few. You prove to be good friend."

"Well, I don't think it would've happened if we weren't roommates." Iclyn said. "With that being said, I really want you to become friends with more ponies. They, um, might be able to..." she lowered her voice. "Help you."

"Iclyn..." he lowered his voice as well. "My secrets are not for many to know. I... I can trust only you. Trusting more ponies wouldn't be good. Please, understand this. I enjoy... hanging out with your friends. But! There is one thing — I don't trust them my truth." he looked his only friend in the eyes. "But you... You are different. In what way, I don't know. It is a feeling — it is not logical or rational. I just feel." he sighed deeply. "The less others know, the better. I don't want everyone to find out who I am. This truth is... special only to you."

"I... I think I understand what you're saying." Iclyn replied. "I just thought that it could be better for you. Judging by your words, I'm wrong."

"We found understanding." the corners of Sirius' mouth rose slightly. Then, he half-whispered, "Thank you."

It was music class for Sirius. In truth, he wasn't a musician or artist at all. He had a sense of rhythm, but that was it. He could play a simple tune or two on a keyboard, but everyone could do it just as well. He didn't search anything in art, it was just not his interest. He liked some genres of music more than others, disliked some, and hated few, but overall didn't express much interest in knowing the popular bands or their music. It so happened that he never stuck a pair of headphones onto his ears. He always wanted to be aware of his surroundings, and thus used anything at his disposal, including his hearing. Loud sounds were simply not his.

So, during the class, he was mostly playing the audience as his other classmates performed on stage. Such a practice helped them avoid stage fright. Sirius also noticed that Iclyn sang and played the piano. He considered her singing voice somewhat beautiful. It expressed emotions well, it was soft and nice to the ear, and it actually hit the notes right. She wasn't a musician by any means, but the former human couldn't help listening to her the most and wanting her to perform more than others.

The song she was currently singing was about autumn and its transformation into winter. The lyrics were soft and pleasant, telling a sad and yet optimistic story. Iclyn captured the emotions perfectly, singing while playing slowly on the piano. The song was slow, and so was the music. The chords were soft, quiet, all accompanied by a slow tapping on the high notes that resembled both the rain and the snowfall.

Sirius smiled at Iclyn, enjoying the song. It made him feel relaxed and at ease. Her voice carried through his ears, making him close his eyes and remember one particular day in his childhood.

There he was, standing near a lake. It was November, the last leaves were falling, covering the surface of the water with a beautiful assembly of yellow, orange, and red. Sirius was just a young boy, age eleven. It was his birthday, and a small circle of friends were with him. He was actually turning twelve, and his friends celebrated it with him.

He still remembered their names even after all of them separated just about a year after. David, Frank, and Helen. They were his three friends from the neighborhood, living not so far away from himself.

Everyone was happily playing with what the autumn had to give — the leaves. Children built piles of them, and then jumped into them, much to the dismay of their parents, who were watching them close. Then, all of them would go fishing. Sirius even managed to catch one, which was later cooked and given to him wholly.

He hadn't taken up fencing yet. He was just an innocent boy, just like many others across the world. He had his own issues already, but it didn't hurt him much. He was a little shy as well. Underweight for his age, too. He was already full of problems he couldn't solve, but it didn't matter to him at all at that time.

He liked that gathering since only a close group of people was with him, only his trusted friends who understood him and knew him. They were with him despite all his flaws. It was a true friendship indeed.

The birthday celebration wasn't big, just as he liked. He remembered that all of them had cake, he unwrapped the gifts, and then all of them went to the lake with their parents. It was indeed a pleasant day.

As the song ended, Sirius finally opened his eyes. He immediately saw Iclyn, who was looking straight at him and smiling. He smiled back, and then started clapping along with other ponies. His applauds were the loudest and faded only after everyone else finished.

Iclyn was indeed a good friend to him. It was a long time since anyone elicited these emotions from Sirius. He knew trusting Iclyn was a good decision after all. Maybe it wasn't a friend he deserved, but she was nice to him and brought him positive emotions. He would never ask for better, for it was more than enough for him.

He wondered if it was love. No, it couldn't be. He still loved another person, how could he love anyone else? Iclyn was a good friend he enjoyed being around with, nothing more. How a romantic relationship would ever work? The pegasus filly didn't deserve such a wreck as him. She deserved much, much better. Besides, he couldn't love her — she was a pony.

However, doubts crawled inside his head. He feared them greatly — he didn't want another love. He would never be able to confess his feelings if they were true. But even if he did reveal them, he would be rejected, just like he previously was. He knew it was all his fault. He could've avoided it, did something else before it was to late. But alas... He failed to see his own misdeeds. He failed to see how much he had hurt the one he claimed to love so much.

Iclyn would never love such a monster. And a true monster he was indeed.

Author's Notes:

Even in the brightest moments, Sirius returns to his issues and how they destroyed his life. At least that is what he thinks.

And what do you think? I would like to hear what you have to say. Maybe a guess? A theory? Really, I always enjoy you talking about the characters and how they might interact in the future. Every little thing, every word matters in this story. Maybe you caught something interesting.

Before it, however, I must confirm — Helen isn't the one Sirius believes he loves.

Chapter 42: The Royal Wedding, Preparations

About a week has passed since Sirius got the Alicorn Amulet. He had spent the most of his time studying and training, just like he always did ever since coming to Equestria. However, there was one very noticeable difference from his first days — he was willing to talk to Iclyn about his past. He had told her various stories about his preadolescent years. The filly found out that he wasn't actually too different from foals of that age. While ponies did mature faster, Sirius was still very much like them in his earlier years.

So, he exchanged stories with his equine friend. Both of them had interesting moments to talk about and awkward moments to chuckle at. The bond between the two strengthened and grew as time passed and Sirius was willing to let out more of himself — who and what he had been and how he became who he was at the moment.

Sirius had some doubts about releasing the more important things about him, but eventually told Iclyn a few slightly disturbing things. The former human had been having mental problems since his birth. He let Iclyn know that he suffered from anger issues. In truth, those issues were never completely gone, but he learned to control and suppress his violent urges of harm and destruction. Sometimes, he couldn't, and it resulted in bad things.

He broke many things in his rage, as well as hurt some people in the process, a few of them were those he liked in one way or another. His violent tendencies made him distant from most of the other kids in the kindergarten and school. Though, the three friends he had had at that time knew how troubled he was and showed him compassion and support, making him feel more confident and overall better. The four went together through the first years of school and helped each-other out on many occasions, be it classwork, homework, or any other problem they met on their way. They had been doing it until they became distant. Unfortunately, the friendship ceased to exist.

Unbeknownst to Iclyn, Sirius still blamed himself for how quickly they grew apart in the later years, more specifically at the beginning of his adolescence. He became much different than them, not to mention he had to move to another city. Maintaining contact was hard, and he'd never had the chance to visit them again. He had so many things to do on a daily basis he barely had any free time.

The former human still didn't want to speak about his teen years. He told Iclyn that they were especially painful for him and that it would take more time for him to be comfortable to talk about them to anyone. Not so much time had passed since he met Iclyn. She was willing to be his friend and support him, but he simply couldn't see how it would work. For him, knowing a person for barely a month was like not knowing them at all. He was always slow to make friends due to this. He had grown up with a small circle of trustworthy friends that he kept for years, not letting anyone in. Later, he accepted he had trust issues. Along with his anger, distrust made him an isolated, lonely kid in his new school.

Iclyn was both relieved and worried. She had learned many things about Sirius' early childhood and the problems he had to face. However, his refusal to talk about the teen years scared her. If anything, it was the most important part of his life that changed everything for him. He had never mentioned a romantic interest as well. Had he ever had a crush, at least? Iclyn knew it was too much a personal matter to ask at that time, but it worried her nevertheless. Was he ashamed of his love? Had he even loved anyone in the first place? She knew he was capable of affection, but then there were his mental issues. Could he ever get a girlfriend, especially with that mind of his?

The pegasus filly hadn't ever seen anyone like Sirius, not even with similar problems. There were some shy colts, but even they made attempts and showed affection towards those they loved. He, on the other side, was seemingly entirely different.

Iclyn had been watching him for a long time, and he had never looked at anyone in a special way. In a way only the one fallen in love could. The farthest he had ever gone was giving a look of friendly affection towards the pegasus filly when the two talked, but nothing more. Of course, he was an alien and all, but couldn't he see the signs of affection some fillies in the class showed him? It wasn't like he couldn't seem them. Was he ignoring them? He always looked at those fillies with cold disinterest which was particularly visible when they tried to talk to him. Why couldn't he give a chance to any of them?

Iclyn thought about it and came to a conclusion that he still loved someone from his previous life. She didn't want to take into consideration the more horrible option — he might not wanted to love at all. She couldn't think of a reason why anyone would avoid love.

She also noticed that he didn't talk much about his family. She had heard only a few words about his parents, whom he claimed to be very nice people who raised him well. Iclyn could feel the sadness in his voice as he said those words. She didn't want to push the subject matter forward — it was already painful for him, and Iclyn didn't want to make it worse.

Sirius didn't think about what Iclyn was thinking — he had more important matters to attend to. He realized that the wedding he was invited to was arriving in a few days. It was publicly announced, and he received a reminder. He decided to go and see what weddings looked like in Equestria. Besides, he might meet ponies who would recognize him and might be willing to do something for him if he so wanted. While being anti-social, Sirius had always maintained important connections with people he needed. He knew how to earn trust and respect, and he definitely knew how to use them to his advantage. Having the reputation of a fierce warrior and winning the most important tournament in Equestria, Sirius was sure he would find a way to do what he wanted.

In the reminder, it was advised to come to the wedding in a suit or similar attire. Sirius could afford one but he didn't want to be restricted in movement. Instead, he buried his face in the books about modern etiquette. He found what he was looking for — a sword was often adorned by noble stallions to show their status and ability to fight if needed. It was a well-respected accessory that could be used well without a suit because it bore much more meaning than any fabric ever could.

Sirius decided to have the greatsword and the longsword with him. The first one was richly decorated and would surely shine while the longsword was better in terms of practicality. The Canterlot Castle was the place where the wedding would happen, and Sirius knew that the halls of that castle were wide and had enough room for a greatsword fencing. However, he was much more used to slightly shorter blades that could still pack a punch. All in all, the greatsword would act as an eye-candy.

So, he went to the nearest blacksmith and bought needed items for maintaining the swords. He intended on getting them some time ago but forgot it. Gladly, he remembered it in time. He polished both his weapons and put oil on them, making them glisten and reflect in the light. He thoroughly cleaned the silver of the greatsword, making sure it shone perfectly. He spent a good few hours at it, and he was sure the result was worth the effort.

In the reminder he received, he was also informed that he was allowed to bring one person. Sirius didn't know if he would ask Iclyn to go with him. All in all, they weren't in a relationship, and asking her to such an important event would be... odd. What would she think of him? After all, he was an alien. Wouldn't it be weird for him to ask her out?

He shook his head. No relationship, and thus no asking. He would be pretty comfortable without her.

Then, his mind shifted towards other attendants. It was certain all alicorns would be present in one place. Sirius considered taking the amulet, but he realized it would be found out before he would have a chance to use it. Besides, who would attack him during a wedding? It would be a great way to ruin the public image of the princesses.

He understood he might be paranoid by that point, adding to his 'collection' of mental issues. He desperately needed to relax and unwind. However, Sirius didn't know what to do. The trainings he had daily didn't bring him as much relief as he hoped they would, and he didn't really enjoy any other activities like sports and such. He wasn't social, and thus didn't want to interact with others. It would bring him more stress than relief.

Sirius sighed wearily. It seemed like he had to wait until the wedding was over. Without any other big events in sight, he would be able to figure out something. He also had Iclyn by his side, whom he considered a trustworthy friend. She hadn't failed him once and was always supportive of him. It made him feel much better when she was around.

Maybe he should invite her to tag along. He just needed to word it right.

"Iclyn, may I ask you something?" he turned to his friend, who was lying on her bed, reading a history book.

"Yeah, what's it?" she asked, putting aside the book.

"There is wedding in the Canterlot Castle, and I have an invitation." Sirius began. "It was said I can bring someone else. Are you interested?"

"I don't know... It might get boring." Iclyn shrugged. "But, I think it's worth a try. Is there anything I need?"

"It's recommended to come with a dress." Sirius answered.

"Oh... Well, I think my mom can lend me hers." the filly replied. "I suppose I'll get it first. The wedding is in a couple of days, right?"

Sirius nodded.

"Well, then I have enough time." Iclyn nodded. "Better send a letter to mom..."

Author's Notes:

I'm rapid-firing these chapters now. They're still smaller than usual, but the upcoming event in the story might take time to write. It's going to be pretty big, after all.

Since we all know that changelings invade during the wedding, what do you think about Sirius in that event, what would he do? I have my own plans and ideas, but I always like hearing something of your own.

Besides that, I like you making guesses and theories on this particular story. I guess it's a guilty pleasure of mine.

P.S. I know that you enjoy longer chapters, but I can't really add anything important to what I already have without it feeling like unnecessary pool of words. Here in Russia, it is called water, or вода. That is, making an essay or a similar type of text bigger by adding something stupid and unnecessary. I want to avoid writing in quantity instead of quality (pretty ironic, consider there's a chapter almost everyday now).

If you have any advice, I wouldn't mind reading them.

Chapter 43: The Royal Wedding, Suspicions

It was a few hours before the wedding ceremony started. Sirius along with Iclyn were walking towards the Canterlot Castle. They needed to be a bit early — the former human thought it would be better to explore the layout of the castle before the main event began. He knew some of it, but more information would be useful.

The day before, a pink-colored bubble of magic appeared around the whole city. Sirius quickly made a conclusion that something wasn't right. A wedding wouldn't need so much protection in this peaceful country of Equestria. So, he bought a pouch for himself, one he would be able to store his revolver and the box of ammo in. The pouch didn't stand out too much since it was made of fake leather from which his swords' sheathes were also made. It looked more like a fancy accessory.

He made sure Iclyn didn't see him putting the revolver there. He wasn't ready to reveal such a weapon to her. Besides, he hoped he wouldn't have to use it. He saved it for the most dire circumstances where his swords would be useless or if he were unable to fight in his usual style. Only then he would reveal the revolver and use it accordingly.

It was safer to carry the gun around since the Alicorn Amulet could be felt by magic users. Sirius wasn't stupid to let every single unicorn and alicorn know he carried a weapon of such caliber, so to say. Though, he would still need to be careful — he didn't want to expose his revolver. This world didn't need it, and he hoped it would remain this way forever.

On the previous day, Iclyn received the dress she asked her mother for. It was simple and yet elegant, as well as colored accordingly — it was a slightly deeper blue than her fur. The filly also tied her mane behind her head, revealing the sides of her muzzle and neck.

As the two walked, Sirius' mind was blank. He was focused on looking out for possible danger. For all he knew, he could be attacked from around any corner. He didn't trust in the magical shield much, no matter how strong it could be.

Iclyn's mind was buzzing with excitement. It was rare when a common pony was invited to such a grand event like the wedding of a princess. The pegasus filly was looking forward to it — she definitely wouldn't mind seeing the princesses so close, as well as be in their castle for a while. Iclyn didn't strive for becoming famous among the nobles that would surely be at such an event, but visiting the castle would be nice.

Unfortunately, she found her mind being invaded by the thoughts about her companion Sirius. She had to admit that his constant negativity and sadness affected her as well. She became less cheerful around him, she could certainly feel it. She tried to help him become more happy, but only found herself being dragged down. She knew helping someone like him would be difficult, but knowing it didn't make anything easier at all.

In truth, she didn't blame him for it. He had been through bad things she might've not been able to imagine. Though, his refusal to talk about his issues grew weary on her. She didn't want to push him or abandon him, but something needed to be done. Unfortunately, Iclyn didn't know what to do with him, how to make things better.

Though, she had to admit that Sirius became noticeably more open and somewhat better since the two first met. It was a subtle difference, but Iclyn saw that he was relaxed around her, as well as friendlier than around any other pony. While not accepting anyone else and ignoring the signs of deeper affection from the opposite gender, he became a nicer person to be around with. He was way more casual with Iclyn than he was at first. He indeed tried very hard to be a good friend to her.

It didn't pass her that Sirius was still carrying weapons around, a thing anyone rarely did those peaceful days. Iclyn thought he was afraid to be left defenseless, and he wanted to compensate it by intimidation and actual skills. She saw how proficient he was in fencing, and it really impressed her. She would never be able to be as good as him in fighting.

It also scared her. Practice makes perfect... How much of it had Sirius had when he was still in his world? How could it transit so well from his previous form into his equine one? Iclyn could only guess.

"Is something wrong?" Sirius asked. He noticed the strange expression Iclyn had on her face. He could clearly see she was deep in thought. He didn't know the nature of those thoughts, however.

"I don't think so..." Iclyn said. She wasn't certain about her statement, though. "I'm just thinking about things, you know? You do it all the time."

Sirius nodded without adding any words. Indeed, he thought a lot about many things when his mind wasn't occupied with anything else. Mostly, those thoughts were about his life which became existence. He didn't want to think about it at the moment, though. He had more important matters to attend to.

First of all, he wanted the wedding to go without a hitch. He wanted the magical shield to be just an unused precaution and nothing more. He wouldn't mind releasing his emotions in a fight, but he also wanted to avoid it.

Second, he wanted to make sure Iclyn was safe. He didn't want to lose his only friend to any possible danger. If she died, he would follow her without hesitation. He still didn't see purpose in life, and the only thing he truly enjoyed was being close to his only friend. He feared she had become irreplaceable. He wouldn't be able to move on from her loss. He still hadn't moved on since he was once rejected in love by another person. It was almost four years since it happened, and he still found his mind returning to it from time to time. Unrequited feelings still hurt him a lot, as well as the inability to fix anything or return to his world to say his sorries and goodbyes. However, he wasn't sure they would be accepted from someone like him.

Sirius shook his head slightly, shaking off the saddening thoughts. Why was he returning to them all the time? It was time he locked them deep inside his mind to never see the light of thinking again. And so he did, suppressing those thoughts just as he did to many others.

Finally, Sirius and Iclyn reached the Canterlot Castle. After the invitation was checked, they were let inside. The former human noticed that there were more guards than he had previously seen. Some of them even recognized him, judging by their glances. Sirius didn't fear them — he had already defeated their best. There was nothing they could possibly do against him. Maybe use magic, but their fencing skills were inferior to his. They would have to accept it sooner or later.

Sirius wasn't searching for a fight, of course not. He was wary of them. He knew that a wrong step might cost him his freedom, but he wasn't going down without a fight. Never. If anyone were to try to apprehend or even attempt to murder him, he would retaliate in kind. There was nothing holding him back. He had little to lose.

Though, there was Iclyn — the only person Sirius cared about. She was kind to him, and he hoped to return that kindness and be a good friend to her. So far, he wasn't doing that good of a job. However, he knew he could become better and improve.

Soon, the two reached the celebration hall. A few ponies were already there, and one of them was very familiar to Sirius.

"Good day, sir." Fancy Pants approached the colt with a polite smile on his face. "It's good seeing you here, Sirius. May I inquire who that beautiful filly by your side is?"

"Iclyn is a friend of mine." Sirius replied as the pegasus blushed slightly. "She has helped me a lot to adjust to the city."

"Oh, I see now." the noble stallion nodded. "Forgive me, I thought you two were in a more close relationship. In truth, you look good together."

"Thanks, but we're just friends." the former human replied slightly dryly.

"Alright, then." Fancy Pants nodded. "I'd suggest you look around. Her majesty Mi Amore Cadenza and captain Shining Armor did a fantastic job at decorating the castle for this marvelous day."

Sirius nodded politely, and then went off to look around with Iclyn. He heard the words the noble stallion said, but he dismissed them. A human and a pony? Such a relationship would never work, no matter how alike the two looked. Sirius was against starting a relationship like that, too. He wouldn't want to hurt his friend. He could never be a good lover to her, he was sure of it.

He took a moment to look around. Indeed, the place looked nice: it was richly decorated with different flowers, as well as stripes of different colors hanging from above. It looked slightly weird for his tastes, but Sirius liked it. It was colorful in moderation and nothing seemed too much off.

He had never been to a wedding before, but he had an idea how it happened in a few countries. He had also seen it on TV or the internet. He had seen various pictures of it. Some weddings were small, some were grand, and a few were completely blown out of proportion. The one he was currently in seemed to be slightly below grand at that point in time. Maybe it would change in just an hour, he didn't know.

Soon, he was able to see the bride herself. She was walking alongside her soon-to-be husband Shining Armor. Something made Sirius squint his eyes at the two and look with more attention, as well as listen closely. He felt the impulse to do so, and who was he to disobey his sense of danger?

"My love has migraines troubling him ever since he raised this shield." the princess explained something to a pony. "I'm afraid all those preparations have taken their toll on him, too."

The pony replied something, but Sirius wasn't really able to hear it.

"Oh, I believe he will be alright once I ease it with my magic." the alicorn replied. "Forgive us, we need some privacy. Don't worry, the wedding will go as planned."

Soon, the two disappeared in the hallway, leaving some thoughts in Sirius' mind. He noticed something very unusual. The groom looked obviously tired, but there was something... wrong about him. His eyes were strange, but Sirius couldn't quite place it. The stallion seemed like he was looking at nothing in particular.

Something was off about him. The posture, the overall look... It wasn't what Sirius had seen once. He remembered seeing the captain a while back. He was proud and strength radiated from him. Something changed, and now the stallion looked weaker and more fragile. If anything, he was fatigued. Was Shining Armor keeping the shield up all the time? It might've been costly, but Sirius felt it wasn't the only part in the equation.

There was definitely something going on. Sirius tensed, his senses at full alert. The shield, the weird behavior, everything had a connection. They wouldn't need the shield if something didn't happen just recently. But what? What could possibly happen in Equestria that would require such defense? Sirius hadn't heard of any wars starting or rebellions rising. It was calm as always.

Maybe it was just his paranoia. He took notice of its development. He didn't like it at all, truth be told. But how could he trust strangers? Better expect them to play a trick on him than to rely on them. He had learned from the past indeed.

Sirius decided to leave it be. However, it didn't mean he would let his guard down. Something suspicious was happening, and he needed to make sure he and Iclyn were safe as much is possible. He didn't want to be hurt or his friend to be harmed. He cared for his roommate, maybe in more ways than he could admit at that time.

"Sirius, are you alright?" the filly asked him with worry, sensing his tension. She became slightly nervous due to this. If he was so tense, then something serious was happening.

"I am, but something isn't. It's not about me." Sirius replied. "Something is wrong. Stay close, alright?"

"Are you sure it's needed?" Iclyn asked, her worry growing. She didn't know whether Sirius was right or wrong, but she somewhat trusted in his sense of danger. Better safe than sorry, she thought.

"Not completely." Sirius admitted. "Though... I better be on my guard. Just in case, that is."

***

They spent some time wandering about the castle and watching the preparations. Overall, everything was going more or less fine. However, something interested happened as they walked.

The two noticed a mare running away through the hallways. Sirius wondered who she was and why she ran away. All he could see about her was her being a unicorn and having lavender fur and dark-blue mane and tail. She quickly disappeared around the corner, and the former human decided not to pursue her. It would be suspicious of him, and he didn't want to cause a scandal.

"Sirius, I really need to use the bathroom." Iclyn complained after a while of doing almost nothing but walking around. They arrived a bit too early, it seemed.

"Alright, I'll just stay by the door." he nodded, and the two went to the restrooms.

Once they reached the restrooms, Iclyn quickly went into the section for mares. Sirius stood by the door, looking out for any danger.

He failed to notice that the door opened behind him and he was struck in the back of his head. He fell to the ground, his vision instantly going black. He didn't have a chance to react.

Author's Notes:

I hate to leave you at a cliffhanger, but I promise to deliver action-packed chapter soon.

Your predictions, ladies and gentlemen? I've read what you had written, but now you're able to make something more detailed and interesting, as well as more accurate. How will everything go?

Chapter 44: The Royal Wedding, Invasion

"...We've been trying this for almost an hour, it's of no use. Pack him in a cocoon — he'll be easier to drain this way."

"But I feel! I feel I'm close!"

"Cocoon him. It is an order."

"Y-yes, sir. Right away!"

Sirius finally regained consciousness. He was experiencing a nasty headache and dizziness. He opened his eyes only to see a blur of colors. However, something stood out from that blur — a black pony-sized spot with a green tint to it.

The former human blinked a couple of times. He needed to recollect the events. His head hurt a lot, but he somehow knew he needed to remember something. As the headache grew, he strained to remember. He and Iclyn were walking down the hallway, she asked him something, and then they went to another place. He stood to guard, and then everything was blank.

Finally, the blur cleared. Before himself, he saw a strange creature. It looked like a pony in some ways, but was completely different in others. The creature was black, there was a barely visible green shine to its insect-like carapace, its eyes were solid sky-blue. It also had insect-like wings and a jagged horn, and its legs were covered in holes.

Suddenly, Sirius felt something warm and comfortable around his hind legs. He looked down and saw a green goo of some sort wrapping around his legs.

He suddenly realized — they took Iclyn! What would they do to her? Kill... or worse? Rape, torture, it was all possible. He wouldn't be alive if they wanted to kill him. He made a conclusion that whatever was going to happen to him and Iclyn would be worse than death.

Rage boiled inside of Sirius. He wouldn't let it happen! His friend was in danger, and he would save her! He must do it!

He lit his horn and wrapped his magic around changeling's neck and lifted him up in the air. Sirius' head almost exploded in pain, but his rage and anger brought it down to bearable levels.

"Release. Me." he said to the creature, looking it straight in the eyes. In them, he saw fear and submission. The changeling was easy to break.

"I will!" he wheezed out, and then Sirius set him down on the ground harshy, still keeping a loosened grip around his neck.

The changeling quickly removed all of the sticky goo, and soon Sirius was standing on all his legs freely. Without hesitation, he bashed the changeling's head against the wall, knocking him out instantly.

Sirius growled angrily. If they did anything to his friend... He would kill them all. He would not hesitate or doubt, he would not stop until they paid for their action with blood.

He touched the back of his head. It was sticky, but not from the goo. It was his own half-dried blood. He understood he was knocked out with something heavy. Maybe his brain was damaged in the process, but he cared little about it.

Pulsating pain went through his head. He hissed in pain, but didn't drop to the ground. He needed to find a weapon, and then find Iclyn. He set his goal and refused to deviate from it. His own pain was nothing compared to what his friend could possibly be experiencing right at that moment.

He found the exit from the room, only to walk into another. There, he saw another changeling. He was near a table, on which Sirius' weapons lied. Fortunately, he was facing the other direction and didn't notice the colt.

"Hm, what can this be?" the changeling muttered, levitating the revolver.

Sirius noticed that he was dressed in some sort of armor. However, he could tell his neck was exposed. The former human silently walked up behind the changeling, and then swiftly levitated the longsword to his neck.

"Where is the filly that was with me?" he growled into the changeling's ear.

"I won't tell you anything, pony!" he hissed back.

"You will." Sirius said, pressing the blade harder, just enough to draw blood. Soon, the red appeared on the blade.

"You don't have the guts to do it." the changeling taunted.

Sirius growled, and then used the other sword, the greatsword, by ramming it through one of the holes in the legs of the changeling, eliciting a loud cry of pain as Sirius tore through carapace, sensitive skin, and flesh. The former human supported his foe, not letting him fall.

"A-argh! She's in the wedding hall!" the changeling quickly replied.

The former human let him fall to the ground. Sirius retrieved his weapons and put them where they belonged, leaving only the longsword out. It wasn't time to use the revolver yet.

"I hope she's drained of her love essence!" the changeling retorted from the ground.

So, changelings raped her? With a loud yell of hatred, Sirius stabbed the changeling through the head. He pulled back, and then stabbed and stabbed again, making sure the changeling would never get up. His head turned into a mix of broken bones, blood, brains, and eyes. It looked like a horrible gruel of tissue served in the bowl made from the changeling's own helmet. It brought satisfaction to Sirius. He spat on the horrid mix in disgust.

They raped her... Tears of fear and pain streamed down Sirius' face. He wasn't able to save her before she was violated. She became broken, would she be able to heal? Would she allow him to be close? He was a failure once again.

Nothing could stop him from killing these changelings. They deserved it. They must die for what they did. He would kill them without hesitation. These beings didn't deserve to live.

Sirius gripped the sword hilt tightly. It was going to get bloody very soon. Drums pounded inside his head as adrenaline coursed through his veins. He would ensure they died before he did.

He bursted through a door and appeared inside a hallway. There, a couple of guards were covered in green goo, preventing them from moving. Many changelings were around, and all of them turned to Sirius. Most of them were unarmed, but a few carried sabres, as well as the weapons from the guards.

Sirius swiftly swung his sword at the closest changeling, biting into its neck and drawing much blood that immediately started streaming down the blade. With a growl, Sirius retracted his weapon and turned to other changelings. Some of them escaped by flying away, but others stayed to fight. Without stopping, Sirius dashed to the first one and thrusted his sword into its body, piercing the heart. As the changeling started falling to the ground, Sirius was already battling another. His hits were blocked by a sabre, but soon the former human overpowered his opponent and sliced off its leg, and then finished it by stabbing through the head.

More changelings fled, only two remained. They tried to attack Sirius simultaneously, but he easily blocked their hits and successfully landed his own. The rage and intense hatred fueled him and he didn't even notice small cuts appearing on his body. He was still slightly weak and his head was aching, but he couldn't allow himself to stop.

Soon, there were no living changelings in the hallway. Sirius breathed heavily. His blade was covered in blood, and some of it was splattered across his body.

He went to the guards and freed them swiftly. They looked at him in fear and shock. Sirius murdered at least five changelings all by himself. The guards saw anger, brutal rage, and searing hatred.

Sirius didn't stop and headed to the hall where the wedding took place. He must find the source of this invasion, he must find Iclyn, and he must kill the changelings. They violated her, and he couldn't allow them to live. Sirius knew rape, knew how it affects, and knew the consequences. He must not allow Iclyn to suffer through it. Maybe it wasn't late yet? He hoped so.

He dashed through the hallway, changelings fled as he galloped. He growled in anger, wishing he could kill them before they got away. However, there were more important things to do. Find Iclyn.

Soon, he came to big double doors. They were closed, and two changelings in armor stood there, each having a halberd they picked up from unconscious guards nearby. The guards were in green cocoons, which were attached to the walls.

Sirius knew that halberds have a long reach. He unsheathed the greatsword while sheathing his longsword. He needed as much reach as possible.

Using the wings, one of the changelings dashed forward, lunging the halberd. Sirius parried the hit and swung the greatsword, successfully biting into the wooden pole. He retracted the weapon, and then swung again at the same spot. The changeling had no time to react as his weapon was broken in half. Its balance gone, the halberd could no longer be used effectively. Sirius quickly stabbed his opponent in the neck, and then retracted his weapon again.

He almost didn't notice the second changeling who swung his own halberd. Sirius almost managed to dodge, but his hind leg was cut. He groaned in pain, and then swung his greatsword at his opponent. He crushed through the defense and hit the helmet, stunning the changeling. With another swift swing, the changeling's life ended.

Sirius hissed as he felt warm blood running down his hind leg. No matter, it was just a wound. He was still alive, he could save Iclyn from danger.

He looked at the first changeling. He hadn't died yet, clutching at his throat, trying to stop the blood. Sirius finished the changeling off by thrusting his sword through the eye, killing him instantly.

He sighed shakily, adrenaline still in his body. It was close, very close. He needed to control his emotions, otherwise he would die. If he wasn't so blinded by his rage, he would've not been hurt.

He walked to the doors, limping and leaving drops of blood along the way. His mind was focused on getting to Iclyn. Nothing else mattered.

He opened the doors, and immediately saw Iclyn sitting by a window. He limped to her as fast as he could, hissing from pain in his injured leg. The filly turned to him, and her eyes widened. Her friend was covered in blood and was noticeably limping.

"Sirius!" she stood up and dashed to him. "I... I thought they took you!"

"Are you alright? Did they do anything to you?" Sirius asked her, placing a hoof on her shoulder. He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself down.

"Besides taking me here, no." the filly sighed. Then, she saw the wound on his leg. "Sirius... your leg!"

"I will be fine." he said. He was happy his friend was alive and unharmed. He sighed in relief silently. He didn't fail, he managed to get there before anything was done to the one he cared about.

"Oh, what a lovely exchange!" an unfamiliar female voice spoke. Sirius turned swiftly and faced a changeling who was the size of Celestia, maybe even taller. She had a long, jagged horn, serpentine green eyes, aqua mane and tail, dark-gray carapace and insect-like wings. Her legs were full of holes just like other changelings', and there were sharp fangs peeking out of her mouth. There was also a small crown atop her head. The former human immediately figured out she was the ruler of those weird creatures he had slain on his way.

Sirius immediately took defensive position in front of Iclyn and raised his blade.

"My... You two would surely give us enough love to sustain for months!" the changeling queen spoke. "Now, I see you want to fight me. I am, if you don't know, Chrysalis, the Changeling Queen! And you will bow down to me just like any other pony in Equestria!" she taunted him.

Sirius didn't lower his weapon. He realized that Chrysalis was behind this invasion, and he intended to stop her before she had a chance to hurt Iclyn. He didn't know what 'love' the queen was talking about, but he was sure it would involve rape. He would be used for breeding, and Iclyn would be as well. He wouldn't, he couldn't allow it to happen. He would rather die than allow his only friend to be hurt. If it was his last battle, so be it.

He looked around to see if anything else could be of use. There were six ponies, one of them that lavender unicorn mare he remembered seeing some time ago. Also, there was the groom and the bride. The latter looked battered and bruised. Was she violated during this as well? Sirius found his anger grow again.

"So brave... And also quite foolish, little pony!" she continued to taunt him. "I have defeated Celestia! Look over there, and you will see this 'mighty ruler'. She is nothing!"

Sirius looked to the right and saw Celestia. She looked battered, her horn was scorched, and her regalia was gone. She looked at Sirius with surprise, as well as shock. Did he make his way there through changelings by... killing them? He was covered in blood, his blade was also painted red. She looked him in the eyes and saw rage and hatred. It wasn't directed at her, however. It was directed at the changelings.

"Do you see now? There is no one more powerful than me!" Chrysalis proclaimed, a triumphant expression on her face as she looked down at Sirius. To her, he was just another little pony. Granted, she knew something about him, including his victory at the tournament. But did he stand a chance against her? However, she was surprised when he continued to refuse to lower the weapon or move. "I see... We shall play, then." the queen levitated a longsword to herself. She found it by a body of an unconscious royal guard. "If you are ready to die, so be it." she showed her sharp teeth and hissed at the colt.

Sirius revealed his own impressive set of fangs, and growled lowly, primal urge of violence waking up inside him. He was going to murder Chrysalis. She would not touch Iclyn, him or anyone else.

He must protect what little he had.

The changeling queen started walking slowly towards him, a challenging grin on her face. She kept the sword low, pointing it at the ground. She was confident in her victory. She had already conquered Canterlot and Equestrian throne. Dealing with exactly one pony wouldn't be a big issue.

https://youtu.be/fuOGAUx8eOI

Sirius started limping towards his opponent, struggling to move and hissing from pain from time to time.

"Look at you! You are barely standing!" Chrysalis laughed, making fun of the injured colt. "And you still h—"

Her words were cut off as Sirius lunged forward, propelling himself by magic. He attempted a thrust, but the changeling queen dodged to the side. She swung her sword at him, but he easily deflected her blow and then tried to hit her. His swing was blocked.

Sirius understood that her skill was below his, but he was injured and the loss of blood, as well as the headache and the overall pain made it harder to concentrate and focus. He was weakened, he wasn't sure he would be able to keep up with his opponent in the long run.

The former human swung the greatsword, trying to get Chrysalis. She blocked his hit, and then tried to land her own. Sirius parried the hit, and then attacked her in a series of hits. His aggression proved to be hard for her to defend against. She had to focus on the defense entirely.

Chrysalis discharged a blast of magic, throwing Sirius away. He landed across the hall and slid on the floor, leaving a wide blood mark.

"You are nothing compared to me!" the queen gloated, watching as he struggled to get up. His wound was disturbed, opening slightly, letting more blood fall on the floor.

Sirius grunted, getting up and gripping his sword. He must fight, he couldn't lose. He wished he had the Alicorn Amulet, but he didn't have it. It was too late. However, he mustn't lose his will to fight. He fought for the one he deeply cared about, maybe even more than he could admit.

He would let himself die if not for her. He couldn't let her suffer because of him. He promised himself he wouldn't let nice people suffer because of him. If needed, he would carry the promise to his grave, be it final or not.

Finally, he got up and pointed his sword at his opponent. He glared at her, baring his fangs. Then, he moved towards her, more limp in his slow steps. He was still determined to fight and win, his physical pain didn't matter. He didn't want Chrysalis to win.

Soon, he clashed swords with her again, investing all his power and might in swings and thrusts while parrying her swings and trying to get to her. He managed to leave a cut on her side, but it only angered her more. He was weakening quickly as less and less blood remained in his body. His vision became slightly blurry as he felt a need to lie down and rest. The pain became numb, almost calling him to sleep it away.

He swung and swung, breathing heavily, focused entirely on the duel. He must win, he knew he had to. No compromises and no surrender. He must defend the one he cared about. He repeated it in his head, and it drove him forward, giving him strength. He needed to make sure Iclyn survived and lived. At that moment, she needed him. Then, he would need her.

As he fought, the thoughts about his friend made him continue the duel and not give up. He valued the friendship too much to die without saving his friend.

He realized that it might be more than friendship that drove him. He had no time to think about it in detail. He had a duel to win.

Suddenly, Chrysalis released a powerful magical explosion, sending Sirius flying across the hall once again. He hit the wall hard and fell, his sword dropping by him, his pouch opening and the item inside dropping to the ground near him.

He was completely destroyed. A couple of ribs were surely broken as he felt sharp pain going through his chest as he breathed. Both right legs were bent in unnatural ways, his hind leg more so, broken in at least three places. He couldn't get up, he couldn't move without feeling acute pain. He was defeated.

"It's time we end this game." Chrysalis spoke, looking at her opponent in triumph. She threw the sword his way, barely missing him. "It seems luck is on your side and you will be able to witness my victory!"

Sirius finally opened his eyes. His vision was unusually sharp. From his position, he could see the changeling queen and the ponies. Iclyn was looking at him with teary eyes, and others bore looks of sadness and disbelief.

He lost.

He refused to give up and tried to stand up. Without half of his legs working, he fell to the ground again and hissed in pain. There was no way he could continue the fight.

However, he noticed something. Slick, silvery, L-shaped thing with a rubber handle. His eyes widened — it was his chance! Using the remains of his magic, he grasped at his revolver and lifted it up.

"What is this? You think throwing a piece of metal at me will make any difference?" Chrysalis cackled. "Oh my... This should be embarrassing for you."

Sirius aimed at her head, his magic shaking as the last of his strength was being poured into the movement. He looked down the sights, taking his time to aim. He couldn't let his opponent live. He must ensure she wouldn't be able to do anything to his friend.

He cocked the hammer. He must make sure nothing could go wrong. Not this time.

He pulled the trigger.

*BLAM!*

Everything went silent for a couple of moments as everyone's ears rang like small bells.

"Ha! Did you think you could scare me with a loud 'bang'?" Chrysalis taunted Sirius. Everyone else was looking at her and him in shock. The changeling queen noticed it. "What are you all looking at?!"

Suddenly, she felt something warm stream down her head. Her eyes widened as she realized it was her blood. She turned her head down at a small piece of glass on the floor. In the reflection, she saw herself. However, a very important thing was missing — her horn.

She dropped to the ground, losing consciousness.

Sirius let out a sigh as he lied in the pool of his own blood. He did it. He won. It was time to sleep. He finally let the warm and welcoming void engulf him completely and send him to the land of peace.

Author's Notes:

I hope you liked the music I made. Some of you might've been already familiar with my music, and this is a new piece. I wondered what Chrysalis' boss theme would sound like, and I created this — a cover of This Day Aria. I imagine the boss theme to be triumphant and yet somewhat dark, also focusing more on Chrysalis moments in the original song. Also, a rhythm was added that I think fits quite nicely. I also decided to add some of the original singing because I thought it would add a nice touch to the composition. What do you think?

The picture I drew for the music represents what negative things drive forward both Chrysalis and Sirius, making them do vile deeds they consider good. The words by her side might be hard to read (youtube messed up, not me), so they are: Domination, Power, Ego, Mania. The two of them have something rather simple — a conflict. It is as simple as the font used for the word itself. The motivations and emotions of the two beings are wastly different and have different origin as well. I would also like to hear what you have to say about the picture.

Now, what do you think about Sirius' fate? How did the battle affect him?

What about Chrysalis, what will her fate be? Since the outcome of the invasion is different (changelings would likely scatter without her iron hoof), how would it affect the changelings and their queen? More importantly, how will she act? Losing a very important part of the body, especially a horn, could potentially damage someone on physical and mental levels.

You must've noticed that Sirius revealed his modern weapon. How well would it be received? Now, a quite big amount of ponies knows about it, after all.

P.S. Writing deep in the night again (3:18 am when I posted the chapter) just for you, dear readers. I was excited to finally present this moment I had in my head for a long time.

Chapter 45: Comatose

Two days have passed since the changeling invasion. After the queen Chrysalis was defeated, Sirius was rushed to the private hospital that the princesses had in their castle. An artery in the hind leg was damaged, and Sirius lost much blood because of it. Thankfully, he was taken in time.

Celestia and Luna personally examined the hallways of the castle. One of them was covered in blood. Pools of half-dried red substance covered the marble floor, pieces of bone floating in them. Though, there were no bodies to be found. The changelings swiftly scattered after their queen was defeated, taking their dead with them.

Two guards confirmed the suspicion — Sirius brutally murdered five changelings on his way to the hall where the wedding was supposed to take place in. The guards were shocked — their training didn't prepare them for what they had to witness. The princesses had to assign a psychologist to each of them to make sure their mind stayed sane.

Then, Luna made a horrible discovery. In one of the rooms, she found a body of a changeling, it's head looked like mush. In the adjacent room, the body of another changeling was found — his head was cracked, and the blood inflow to the brain killed him. Remains of a cocoon were found nearby as well.

The lunar princess had to dispose of the bodies herself after informing her sister of them. Luna had seen dead and dying beings before, she could take it. Though, it still made her feel sick in the stomach. What made Sirius murder those changelings so brutally? Except the first one, that is. It looked more like an accident. So, a conclusion was made — the former human found something out about the changelings that made him go violent on them. Was it the fact that they stole love?

After the battle with Chrysalis, the queen herself was put into an artificial coma and brought to a cell after her wound was treated. It was a possibility that her horn could be restored, but its ability to use magic would be very limited if present at all.

Also, Luna had to tell her sister about the weapon Sirius used. At first, Celestia was furious and demanded that such a weapon must be destroyed. After some reasoning, the solar alicorn had to admit that it was an effective self-defense tool and taking it away from Sirius might make everything worse for him, not to mention the princesses — the relationship between him and the royal sisters was strained as it was. It was also noted that only one bullet was fired, meaning that Sirius didn't use the weapon until there was no other way. Though, the princesses had to make sure that everyone present during its use wouldn't talk about the revolver to anyone at all. Equestria didn't need such a weapon.

As for Sirius, he was in coma ever since the duel. The blast of magic that damaged him during the fight forced the doctors to use technology to support his life. A blood donor had to be found as well — the colt lost too much to be able to regenerate it on his own. Though, even after the transfusion of life liquid, he didn't wake up.

"How is he?" Iclyn asked as the doctors finally let her see him.

Sirius was lying on the hospital bed, wires connected to his chest, monitoring his state. His chest, the upper part of his head, and both right legs were covered in bandages. His broken legs were secured in a special way that restricted their movement. His eyes were closed as he breathed deeply.

"I'm afraid he's still comatose." the doctor replied. "We've made the transfusion, and thanks to you he will live. However, we're not sure when he will wake up. His head was damaged, and there is some brain damage as well. We don't know if he will be the same as before this... He also won't be able to use his right hind leg as much as he used to before. I'm afraid he will limp for the rest of his life. The leg will also be more fragile than others."

Iclyn looked at Sirius, tears in her eyes. If she could notice the changeling in the restroom, none of this would've happened. He would be able to fight better, he would win without being harmed as much. But alas, it was too late. He might not even be able to live at all. With his brain damaged, how would he react to her? Would he even recognize her? Would he even be sapient any longer? He could very well end up a cripple with a broken mind. Not living, only existing, completely dependent on others.

She saw that he did everything for her and her alone. He cared about her, and she returned the feeling. It pained her to see him in such a terrible state. He almost gave his life just to save hers, a truly heroic act that Iclyn was infinitely grateful for. She wished she could express it, show it to him.

While he might be troubled and difficult to be friends with, Iclyn felt he was good at heart. He wanted to be nice to her and wanted nothing more than understanding and care. He even protected her from harm, almost dying in the process. It was unlike anything the filly had ever seen before. Such an act warmed her heart and at the same time made her blood freeze.

What if he died? Iclyn could've grabbed a sword and help him during the duel, but she didn't do it. She didn't know why — she was just frozen in place, unable to do anything but watch. Only if she were able to help him then and there, he wouldn't have to suffer so much.

"Is everything alright, miss?" the doctor asked with worry.

"Please, leave us alone for a minute." Iclyn said, suppressing a sob. "I... I just want to say something to him."

"Alright. Call us if anything's wrong." the doctor nodded and left, leaving Iclyn alone with unconscious Sirius.

The pegasus filly took a few steps closer, stopping only when she was close to him. His face was calm and emotionless, his chest rose and fell as he breathed calmly. Everything looked peaceful, but the beeping of the heart monitor in the background disrupted the picture, showing what it truly was. Iclyn sighed, taking a seat at the edge of the bed. She looked at him with sadness and sorrow in her eyes.

"Sirius..." she began. A shaky sigh escaped her lips as she looked down. "I... I'm sorry I couldn't help. I don't know if you can hear it, but... I truly am. I just wish you could wake up sooner, and I, I would say it to you." she raised her hoof, but then set it down. "T-thank you for doing what you did for me. For all of us! If not you, we would be in really deep trouble."

Iclyn put her hoof on his chest and felt his heart beating.

"Sirius, you are a hero. You... You might be different, hurt, and... I just want to say that I'm thankful for what you did." Iclyn gulped, tears appearing in her eyes. "I wish I could've done something to prevent this. You wouldn't be hurt!"

She sobbed, closed her eyes and pressed her head against his chest. She cried into it, expressing her sadness over his pain. He suffered for her and because of her. She believed she could've done something, changed something, and he would be fine. He would be bandaged up, Iclyn would bring him food as he healed, the two would share stories, and then go to school together. He would be talking with her, maybe even smiling.

Unfortunately, it didn't happen.

As Iclyn calmed down, she looked at him. He was still in the coma, oblivious to everything happening around him.

"Sirius... Oh, Sirius..." Iclyn said, then wiped her tears. "I... I want to be honest with you. I... I think... You're more than a friend to me. You, you risked your own life for me. You might be rough around the edges, but... I can see you care about others. Your world... It did something to you that made you afraid of it. But inside, deep underneath all of that, there is kindness, care, and compassion." Iclyn smiled slightly. "I... I will repeat this once you wake up, but... I want to say something to you right now. Sirius, I... I love you." she inhaled deeply. "All the things you did for me... It warms my heart, makes it flutter." she chuckled softly, pausing for just a moment. "You might be different, but that doesn't mean you're bad. And honestly? I couldn't wish for anypony, anyone better than you. I will show you what there is to life, and I hope you will share the feeling."

Iclyn leaned in, closed her eyes, and kissed his lips softly. Without getting a response, she returned to her place.

"Just... wake up, please..." Iclyn sniffed, and then stood up. Before she left the room, she looked back at Sirius. "Get well."

All Sirius could see was void. It was warm, it was soft, but it was still black. He didn't feel at ease — something was amiss. The warmth, the feeling of comfort, it was just not entirely right. Something was lacking, and lacking severely.

Suddenly, he felt a pull. A place jumped into his vision. It was a fork, from which he could go two ways. He remembered seeing it a while ago in another dream of his. The left one led to a pony figure. Unlike the previous time, Sirius could see distinct colors: a shade of cyan for the fur and white for the mane. It was very familiar, but the former human couldn't quite place it.

To his right, there was a darker passage to a table. From his position, he could see the revolver lying on it, waiting, begging to be picked up and used.

He stepped to the right but hesitated. He heard a voice calling his name from the left corridor. The voice was soft, caring, and yet there was a hint of sadness in it, as well as hope.

Sirius took another step towards the revolver. The same voice he heard before grew quieter but more desperate. Who were they? The former human couldn't make the next step. Someone needed him desperately.

He turned around and returned to the fork, and then took the left passage. The voice grew louder but calmer, and it was still pleasant.

"T-thank you for doing what you did for me." he heard the voice speaking to him. It was very familiar, but he still couldn't figure out who it was.

He continued taking small steps towards the pony figure. It turned to him in a welcoming gesture. Sirius stopped for a moment. Was it safe to go there?

"You might be different, hurt, and... I just want to say that I'm thankful for what you did." the voice said.

Acceptance.

Did someone accept him? Sirius took a few more steps but hesitated to go further. Was it true? Did someone want him? He was nothing. He believed he never truly cared for anyone. Why would anyone want to be with him? He abandoned his friends, failed the one he loved, became an outcast, a failure. No one would like him to be close.

"You're more than a friend to me." the voice continued.

Sirius couldn't believe it. Him, more than a friend? He wasn't that good of a friend in the first place. He didn't care about getting to know people. Why? He didn't want them to know him. He was nothing, a nobody. Just one piece in the ocean of billions just like him. What made him so special? He was more of a broken product than anything else.

"But inside, deep underneath all of that, there is kindness, care, and compassion." the voice didn't cease talking.

Maybe there was something better inside Sirius. The hatred, the aggression, it was there, but it didn't make the most of him. He could hate, but he believed he could care about someone. Maybe. He didn't know. So many things had happened in his life, and he questioned whether he even knew himself. Maybe there was something he refused to see, something he missed, something he hid?

Slowly, he walked up to the figure. He could see more details, and he finally recognized who it was. It was Iclyn, his only friend in the new world. Was it her who spoke to him?

"Sirius, I... I love you."

Suddenly, Sirius felt a warm breath against his lips. Then, it was replaced with something soft and slightly moist.

He was stunned. It couldn't be true — who would ever want to be with him? Iclyn? No way. There was simply no way, it was impossible. No one would ever want him, a broken bag of flesh and bones. All he felt was sadness and anger. Who would ever want someone who was so negative, so lifeless?

Would he ever be able to love back at all? Sirius wasn't sure he could even love in the first place. He used to think he loved someone, but that feeling was nothing more than the urge to reproduce. The former human was disgusted at himself, he felt filthy, covered in stinking, rotting mud. There was no way he could give anyone anything. What there was to give that he had?

But he wanted to love. He wanted to feel what it's like. Is it good? Is it bad? He never received such a feeling from anyone. Love... he had never felt it.

Sirius wasn't sure. He was confused, scared and afraid, and puzzled. It was all foreign to him. Was what he had just experienced real? Did Iclyn really have those emotions for him? Did she care about him that much?

In the first time for many years, Sirius didn't know what to do. He wanted to hide and never show up again, remaining unseen for the rest of his life, no matter how short or long it would be. He was embarrassed of himself, he would never be able to return the love. He didn't know how it was to be loved by someone not a part of his family. And even then, familial love was a different kind of affection, and he craved for something different.

Then, he realized — he was in a coma. He defeated Chrysalis but lost too much blood in the process. What he was hearing and seeing was just his brain hallucinating, producing sounds and vision that were not, would not, and could not be real.

He cried out in pain, believing that his thoughts were true. He was trapped in his own mind, trying to conjure up something to fulfill his wishes and dreams. And yet, there was a looming realization, always there in his mind — no one loved him, no one ever would.

He collapsed on the ground. Even if he was still dreaming, he felt heartbroken. That love wasn't true for him. It could never be.

Sirius sighed. He would be better off dead.

Author's Notes:

Survivor's guilt is strong in Iclyn. Indeed, she worries a lot about Sirius and can't get over how much he got hurt in the process of saving her life. His heroic act of sacrifice made her realise a very important thing — love.

As for Sirius, he has a big and pleasant surprise waiting for him once he wakes up.

Now, what do you think will happen to Chrysalis? One thing I think no one will argue about — she will definitely try to get revenge on Sirius. I would be mad if someone blew off my limbs, too.

P.S. This chapter has nothing to do with the song Comatose by Skillet.
P.P.S. I'm having a blast with this story, I just can't stop writing.

Chapter 46: A Week Later

A week had passed — Sirius was still deeply comatose. The wound on the back of his head healed, leaving a fresh scar; his ribs were back together, and his right front leg had healed. The only issue left was his right hind leg, which was damaged the most.

Despite having no more blood loss, Sirius hadn't woken up yet. He was monitored closely, but nothing wrong was found. His brain structure was different than that of other ponies, so doctors weren't able to find out if Sirius had any real brain damage. They didn't disregard the possibility, however.

Iclyn spent most of her free time with him, sitting at the edge of the hospital bed and softly stroking his chest and neck. Dark circles appeared around her eyes — she hadn't had any good sleep ever since the changeling invasion. Her mind was filled with worries about her beloved, about the one who saved her life. She feared he wouldn't wake up, but she still had hope. He was strong, she believed he would eventually awake. Maybe weeks would pass, months, even years — she would be by his side, comforting him. It was the least she could do for all he had done for her.

"Sirius..." she called him again, her voice quiet and full of sorrow. "Why don't you wake up? What is holding you back? I'm here, Sirius. Please, trust me, wake up and embrace the world. I will show you its wonders, I will show you my... love. Sirius, I love you. Please, wake up."

She repeated the same words every time she came to visit him, but it never worked. He just lied on the hospital bed, looking so peaceful. He breathed deeply and calmly, his heart rate was slow but steady. Nothing disturbed his slumber, not even Iclyn's words.

Iclyn sighed sadly. Everything seemed worse by each day. She felt so sorrowful she couldn't focus on her studies or be with her friends. They gave her support, but there was still a hole in her chest, one she wished Sirius would fill.

She realized she truly loved him. He wasn't perfect, he was troubled in many ways, but she believed she could show him the better, make him better, make sure he would never had to suffer so much again.

Over the course of almost a month, the two created a bond. Iclyn reached out to Sirius, and sometimes he answered. The two made friends. Even while that friendship would seem strange to others, Iclyn thought it was nice to see someone like Sirius talk and express something positive. Sometimes, he was hard to be around with, but in the end it wasn't his fault. He didn't want to trust others because he was afraid of them, afraid of the trust being broken. Iclyn wanted to make sure he wouldn't have to suffer through anything like it. He deserved better, she believed.

Iclyn could swear she saw his eyes slightly opening from time to time, but no matter how hard she tried to get to him, he didn't respond. The filly could do nothing but hope for the best.

Sirius was lying on the hospital bed, his mind in disarray. He could see flickers of light. Sometimes, images flashed before him. They were as clear as if he could see them with his own eyes. He saw a hospital room, himself lying on a hospital bed, wires connected to him. The next image was Iclyn, sitting at the edge of his bed, whispering something to him. He wanted to respond, he wanted to say something, but he couldn't no matter how hard he tried. He wanted to know if she was alright, if Chrysalis was dead or at least locked away, if his weapon weren't taken.

Suddenly, everything went completely black. Sirius was standing in the void, all alone. He turned around and suddenly saw Iclyn. She was mere ten meters way. She was bound in rope, as well as gagged.

Immediately, Sirius galloped to her. Who did this to her? Did they hurt her? How did she get there, was she alright?

Before he could reach her, he was forced to a stop as a figure appeared out of nowhere, blocking his way. It was a tall and gaunt humanoid figure. Its skin was pale, its eyes were dark and sunken, hidden deep in the skull.

Sirius prepared to fight.

"You can't get her." the figure spoke in a morbid tone, stepping closer to Sirius. "Do you know why?"

"Get out of my way!" Sirius retorted, raising his revolver. He was glad it was with him. "Or I will kill you!"

"Just as you killed those who stood in your way?" the figure replied. "Brutally, mercilessly, without remorse. What if she found it out?"

Sirius breathed heavily, his revolver aiming at the figure's head. However, he hesitated to pull the trigger.

"You are a murderer." the figure stepped closer. "You even take pleasure in killing. What if Iclyn saw who you truly are? You murdered people, and not only here. You know it, but she doesn't. She will turn away from you."

"She is my friend." Sirius said, his revolver shaking as tears formed in his eyes.

"It what you think." the figure replied. "She is not your kind, she will never understand you. No one will. You will be alone, and even death will not be your savior."

"S-stand aside. I must help Iclyn!" Sirius said, trying to ignore the hurtful words.

"If you want to get to her, you will have to kill. Again."

Suddenly, the figure morphed. To the sickening sound of breaking bones and tearing flesh, something new appeared. It was a pony like Sirius.

"But you can't kill yourself." it said in his voice.

Sirius shook. What can he do? What must he do? He was confused and scared. Iclyn needed his help, and he?

He was just a monster. A murderer who took pleasure in killing. She would never accept him if she knew the truth. She would abandon him, tell the princesses to lock him away. He would rot away in a cell deep below the ground where light never shines. It was what he deserved for what he did.

He killed, he harmed. He couldn't change his past. If anyone found it out, he would be locked away forever. He didn't deserve a second chance to live.

"You understand now." the figure said.

"I... I..." Sirius tried to say something but couldn't.

Then, he heard the voice of Iclyn. It was everywhere, and it called for him. She said she loved him. She said how much she wanted him to be awake. Soon, her voice started to fade.

Sirius panicked, not knowing what to do. His breath went rapid as he hastily looked around to see if there was a way out. He wanted to be awake, he wanted to tell Iclyn what he did. Maybe... Maybe she would accept him. He just had to pass an obstacle.

Himself.

He aimed at the head of his other self. He realized that even if he was a murderer, it wouldn't hurt to try to get understanding. Sirius never took pleasure in killing random people. He never killed them, too. He only killed those who wanted to harm him or those he cared about.

He pulled the trigger.

The figure fell to the ground and turned to ashes. Dropping the revolver, Sirius dashed to Iclyn. Maybe she would understand him somehow. He would be honest with her, he would tell her about what he did before he fought with Chrysalis. And if she didn't understand him... he would make sure she would never have to see him again.

He felt as if he was trying to run through water. It held him, slowed him down. But he continued to struggle, fighting for his life.

Finally, he awoke. The first thing he saw was the door to the room closing.

"Iclyn..." he whispered weakly, and then tried to get up. "Iclyn!" he tried to say louder, only to cough and fall back onto the bed, his eyes tearing up. "Please..."

"What?" he heard her voice. She wasn't too far away, he could still call her.

"Iclyn!" he said louder, ignoring the pain from the coughing, pouring all his strength into one simple word.

Suddenly, the door bursted open. Iclyn stood there, her eyes wide and hopeful. Sirius looked her in the eyes. He tried to smile, to show her he was awake and fine.

The pegasus filly dashed to him and immediately had the urge to hug and nuzzle him. However, she feared she would hurt him by doing so.

"I... I'll call the doctors!" she said.

"No, I have something to say!" Sirius said quickly. He needed to tell her right there and then. "Please... listen."

Iclyn stopped in her tracks and returned to his bed. She sat at its edge and looked at Sirius. She was full of joy — he finally woke up. To her, the days she had to go without him were bleak. She missed him sitting by her side, learning what she was learning. Helping each-other from time to time, and then train together after the classes. She missed him dearly indeed.

"I... I must say something to you." the former human said. "It is very important that you listen. This... I can't hide."

Sirius told her of what he did to the changelings that stood between him and her. He didn't go into the details of his killing spree, but he told her he indeed murdered them without any remorse.

Silence fell as he finished. He averted his eyes, unable to look at Iclyn. What would she think of him? Would she still stay? And... were the words he had heard in his sleep true? He needed to ask, but only after Iclyn said her own words.

"Sirius..." Iclyn sighed, putting a hoof on his chest. "My father once told me that if my friends are in danger, I may use whatever I have to protect them if I truly care. We pegasi were always warriors, at least more so than other tribes. You did what you did because you feared I was hurt. And I... I see why you murdered them."

She paused for a few moments.

"I won't think any less of you, Sirius." Iclyn continued. "You're not to blame for what happened. Changelings invaded Equestria and tried to conquer it and subdue the ponies. I swear, anypony would do what you did to protect those they... care about.

"Sirius, you are a hero! All of us are praising you for what you did! In fact, princess Luna wants you to speak with her — she said she and her sister want to reward you for what you did not only for me or them, but for the whole country as well."

"I... I don't know." Sirius sighed. "I don't feel I need ceremony."

"Well, I'm sure the princesses will do whatever you ask of them." Iclyn shrugged. "I mean, the ponies already know whom to thank for saving Equestria! And... I want to say something else to you." she leaned closer to him. Sirius was frozen in place — was what he had heard real? "Sirius, you've done a lot for me. You risked your life. I... I love you."

She closed her eyes and kissed him on the lips. Sirius' eyes widened in surprise.

It was all true. Even after what he told her, Iclyn still loved him. But... would he ever be able to love her back? He didn't know. He feared it — if he would die, it would hurt her.

He wanted to push her away just to make sure she wouldn't get attached to him. She would move on and find someone else, someone better. But at the same time, he wanted to return the kiss.

He was greatly confused. He already loved someone, but it didn't work. He wasn't sure Iclyn wanted someone like him. He didn't want to do what he had done to the one he previously loved.

Sirius knew one thing about himself — he was very possessive. No matter the gender, he would always try to demonize those who even as much as wanted to became friends with the one he loved. Later, he realized he wasn't doing good, but would he be able to get rid of his habits? He wasn't sure.

Saddened by his lack of reaction, Iclyn pulled back, breaking the kiss.

"Sirius... You don't love me?" she asked quietly.

He flinched as if a sword went right through him. Those words stung even him. He didn't know how to reply to them. Maybe... maybe honesty could be a way to go.

"Iclyn, I'm scared." he admitted. "I was always... possessive. I don't want to hurt you."

"Don't hold back — tell me about it." the filly replied.

"I... I had one girl I loved." Sirius began. "At first, we were just very good friends. Maybe like you and I. Then, I realized I loved her. But... I only harmed her. I was violent and possessive. I... I once beat up someone who went for her. I sent him to hospital. I also made her lose a friend. I... I don't want to do the same to you."

Silence ensued as Iclyn thought. Maybe she could find a way to make things work? She knew Sirius could change. He already realized his mistakes, after all.

"I believe you won't do it." she said softly. "You saw your mistakes, and you don't want to make them again. What makes you think you will?"

"I... don't know. I already told you I was always violent." Sirius said quietly, his voice trailing off at the end. He was ashamed to talk about it, embarrassed. He always wanted to be calmer. It would make him not so lonely, he thought.

"Sirius, we can work things out. Can you trust me?" Iclyn asked, looking him in the eyes.

"I... I'll try to." Sirius nodded. He felt his throat drying. He was very nervous about the whole thing, and he wasn't sure about the love either.

"Alright." the filly smiled. "First things first, time to call the doctors. Maybe you'll be able to leave the hospital soon."

Sirius nodded and watched her as she exited the room. As the door closed behind her, he sighed. He knew it would be hard for him to deal with love.

He didn't even know if he loved Iclyn at all.

Author's Notes:

How do you think Sirius will deal with romance and his overall relationship with Iclyn?

Chapter 47: Reward

After a medical check, Sirius was told he was good to go. However, there was one small thing that was wrong with his body. His hind leg, while healed, wasn't in the right shape. Unfortunately, after putting it back together, the doctors weren't able to restore to its previous condition completely.

Sirius gritted his teeth slightly as the doctors explained it to him. He would no longer be able to even walk properly — a limp would follow him for the rest of his life. Galloping was out of question for a while, too. His bones needed time to heal, and he would have to use a wheelchair to support his hind legs. While his front legs were fine, he still needed assistance to walk around.

In fact, the former human was furious. He became a cripple. Not a vegetable, but one step closer to it. He didn't want it to happen, he didn't want to become dependent on anyone or anything. Unfortunately, he would never be able a professional sportsman, at least in running. He would have some problems with fencing as well. However, he was sure he would still be able to fight even in his new state. He would never give up on fencing.

Finally, Sirius was allowed to stand up from the hospital bed. Carefully, he stood on all his four legs. He was weakened due to lying in one place without moving for more than a week, but he was determined to restore at least most of his strength and endurance.

Soon, a special wheelchair was strapped to his body, allowing additional support for his hind legs. He could also put them on special plates he could adjust, and then only use his front legs to move around.

However, he wasn't going to do it. Instead, he would use all his four legs. He would probably take off the wheelchair as soon as he could. Limp or no limp, he would never allow himself to be in any sort of wheelchair.

With Iclyn's guidance, he finally exited the hospital. He appeared in the courtyard of the Canterlot Castle. The grass was turning yellow, leaves were falling from the few trees that were in the yard. The sky was filled with clouds, making everything seem so gray and bleak despite many colors surrounding the area. There were some puddles on the ground as well — a rain had come and gone.

Sirius inhaled the autumn air, feeling its coolness spreading through his body. It was a long time since he breathed fresh air. The last thing he remembered was the smell of blood, scent of iron in the air and in his mouth. He liked that he didn't feel it any longer.

Most of his time in coma was spent in either the void or strange, surreal dreams. He didn't remember much of them, but something gripped him from the inside, making him feel uncomfortable.

He realized he didn't have his weapons. No swords nor any guns. He was completely defenseless, stuck in the wheelchair and with his limp for the rest of his life.

He frowned, looking down at the ground. He bared his teeth slightly and growled quietly and lowly. Iclyn heard it, and it sent shivers down her spine.

He despised his new state of body. He outright hated it, the wheelchair, and especially Chrysalis. A nasty sense of satisfaction and pleasure was brought by the fact that he removed her horn, making her less powerful than any unicorn. She would brag or gloat no more. She gave him a limp, and he brought her suffering. It was a fair trade, at least in his book. He would like to see her face, to see her misery — she would never hurt anyone again, especially those he cared about.

"Sirius... Both princesses are waiting for you in the throne room." Iclyn said, breaking his line of thought. "They said you must come alone. I, I'll be waiting for you outside."

The former human nodded and went straight into the castle. He needed to get his weapons back. It was the only reason he found sufficient enough to make him go near the princesses. Sure, he was a hero in the eyes of ponies, but he couldn't care less about it. He did what he did not for them but for his friend.

Either way, he didn't like tyrants. He would at least try to kill the changeling queen anyway. In his eyes, she was no better than a rapist. He didn't know how love could be taken from someone, but he suspected it included violation of that one's being. Not only the body, but the mind would be damaged as well. Sirius would never let a rapist live. No matter how they called it, he was sure any type of violating someone's love was rape, no matter the reason or cause.

He was so happy about the fact that Iclyn wasn't violated. If she were, Sirius would kill anyone involved in it. Torture them for hours, and not let them die until... No, he wouldn't let them die at all. He would make sure the worst would happen to them, and it wouldn't be death.

Those thoughts left a nasty taste in his mouth. He couldn't stand rape, that was it.

He forced his mind to change and push those thoughts further back. Iclyn was alright, he was more or less fine, Chrysalis was punished. Nothing else mattered.

On his way to the throne room, he passed through the hallway where he killed the changelings. An image flashed before him — a slitted throat, blood gushing out of it. The scent of iron was there as well.

He shook his head. It was all just a vision, it was nothing.

A clash of swords. A scream, body hitting the floor.

Nothing, it was nothing. Sirius closed his eyes. It was nothing, absolutely nothing.

Clash. Blood. Screams. Open throat, crushed head. Dying moans. More blood.

Sirius dashed through the hallway, trying to get past it as quickly as he could.

Swords clash. Swords covered in blood. Him covered in blood. Bodies covered in blood.

He couldn't stop. He mustn't stop. He must go, he must pass through it.

The pounding in his head subsided, the screams were gone, the scent of blood disappeared. Sirius breathed heavily. His legs were shaking, his heart was pounding, his eyes were open wide. He was all out of breath or strength.

After Sirius recollected his thoughts and calmed down, he moved forward.

It was nothing.

***

Sirius stopped right in front of big doors that led to the throne room. He didn't notice it, but the pair of guards stationed by them were those he saved from the changelings.

They glanced his way but didn't say anything. Frankly, they didn't know what to think of him. Both of them were trained to protect Equestria and its princesses at all cost, even be ready to kill. Nothing prepared them for Sirius' aggression. The guards would try to immobilize their targets and bring them to justice. Sirius, however... He would kill those targets. The guards didn't know what made him murder them in such a brutal way, they didn't know why he didn't even flinch. In his eyes, they remembered seeing immense anger and hate, something no guards had. It was their duty to protect the country, and they were trained to control their emotions.

For them, Sirius wasn't a murderer but still was a weird case. He didn't hesitate to be offensive in the fight, he never once hesitated to kill. Truth be told, those two guards feared him. What if they were between him and whatever he wanted to do? Neither of them wanted to die by him.

Sirius entered the throne room. The doors closed behind him, leaving him alone with two diarchs. Celestia looked at him with worry and pity, as well as wariness. Luna was somewhat happy to see him, but she still had to be cautious.

"You wanted to see me." Sirius stated. Luna could pick up impatience in his voice. Whatever the princesses were going to tell him had to be short in order to satisfy him.

"Sirius, you are a hero to Equestria." Celestia stood up from her throne and walked down. A medal was lying on a pillow which flew in her magical grasp. "I was informed you wouldn't like a big ceremony, so we will keep it short. However, it doesn't mean your heroism isn't appreciated. This medal is the Crest of Valor." she levitated the medal.

It was cross-shaped, a circle in its center half of which represented the moon and another half represented the sun. A white ribbon was connected to the medal, allowing it to rest on its bearer's chest.

"In the face of danger, you showed courage and bravery. You stood up to the one who was much more powerful than you, and you won, freeing Equestria from Chrysalis' tyrannical grasp." Celestia said.

As she finished her speech, Sirius lowered his head to accept the medal. He felt like old veterans of war — expended, given a medal, and then thrown away as a cripple he was. He was sure he wouldn't be able to get any job at all, medal or not. He was a cripple — he would never be like any other unicorn. His magic wasn't that powerful, his endurance and strength almost came to zero, and he didn't have much knowledge to offer either. He spoke poorly, he lacked any discipline. All he could do was fencing. What, would he be called in the face of danger? Once in a few hundred years at best. He wouldn't be alive to witness it — he would most likely spend the last days of his life out in the streets, 'proudly' displaying his medal and ask for food. He was sure he wouldn't live that long in the first place — he would rather kill himself.

However, there was Iclyn. But how long would she support him, a cripple? No matter what she said about love, Sirius was sure she would abandon him. Who would ever need someone like him? His skills weren't needed, he couldn't do anything else, he didn't like anything else. The school killed his motivation to learn, too. Not Equestria school but the one he had to go through on Earth. He got so many useless kinds of knowledge he would never apply to his life unless he wanted to become someone like a rocket scientist.

"And as a reward for your actions," he heard Celestia saying. "We grant you a piece of land in Canterlot, as per our laws and traditions. That land will now belong to you. It has a mansion, but you are free to change anything in your land according to your desires."

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. A mansion? Celestia couldn't be serious. He would also have to pay taxes for it, he was sure. How would he ever get money for it? How would he ever use it?

"Your land shall be tax-free as long as it doesn't produce anything for sale aside from self-grown food." Celestia finally finished, allowing her sister to talk.

"You proved to be able to hold a weapon, as well as use it correctly." Luna spoke. "And thus, we return your weapons. I hope you will use them as wisely as you did while fighting the changelings."

Sirius nodded, not uttering a single word. Both his blades as well as the pouch with the revolver were returned. He securely strapped them to his body. It felt perfect to him as he felt their weight on his side.

"A chariot is waiting for you outside the castle to show you the way to your land, Sirius." Celestia said. "From me personally... I may not understand you and what you do, but thank you. Queen Chrysalis... you did right. I hate to admit it, but you were right to remove her horn. She no longer poses any threat to Equestria, and her armies are scattered, probably leaving the country for good."

Sirius nodded, and then turned around to leave. There was nothing he could or wanted to say.

A mansion. He still couldn't believe what he had heard. He wasn't thrown away but given something. It was shocking to him. Surely, the princesses could just give him the medal and tell him he could go back to the life he lived.

Did owning land make him a noble as well? Was it even alright to give him land? He was greatly confused. What would he ever do with it? He could probably live there and... that was all.

When he was way younger, he dreamed of owning a castle like he thought real knights had. He dreamed of becoming a well-known knight who would defend his people and rule them fairly and justly. Those were the dreams of his younger, more innocent self.

When he was older, he still dreamed of owning maybe a manor. Sitting by a fireplace, resting while reading a book. He would practice fencing from time to time, maybe go camping somewhere, and then return to his big place and rest.

He knew he would never be able to get anything bigger than a normal house, and thus he didn't expect to ever receive a mansion.

What would he do there? It would certainly be a good home, definitely better than the current apartment, but there was simply not much he could do. He never thought of it, really.

"What did they tell you?" Iclyn asked.

Sirius stopped in his tracks — he didn't even notice leaving the castle.

"They said I now have a mansion." he replied.

"Oh my!" Iclyn covered her mouth with a hoof. "It must be an honor! I... I never would've thought about owning a mansion!"

"I don't know how I feel about this." Sirius admitted. "I just... Nevermind. There is chariot somewhere outside the castle. Mind joining me? I could... use some help." he hated to admit it but going up and down the stairs was difficult with the wheelchair on. Besides, he wouldn't mind a companion.

"Alright, if you want to." the filly said. "Let's see what your mansion looks like."

Some time later, the two arrived at the big gates. They were made of iron and featured decorations such as elaborate ornaments. The whole mansion was surrounded by a rather high brick wall, which was also decorated with different architectural elements.

The two disembarked the chariot. Iclyn helped Sirius get on the ground and adjust his wheelchair. As much as he hated it, it felt nice to be cared about.

Sirius opened the gates, getting himself and his friend inside. The territory was rather large, featuring a small garden of flowers in the front with decorative bushes near the wall, as well as building, the most important part of the territory. There were total of three buildings: a large mansion, a small wooden house, and a shed by the house. There was also a couple of greenhouses further in the back, hidden behind the large mansion.

The mansion itself had two floors and was made of stone. Many ornaments and other decorations were on its walls, which were white in color. There was also a big balcony in the front, supported by wide cylindrical columns. It didn't resemble any particular style but was more of a mix of many different ideas.

Sirius' eyes shifted to the right. There, a small wooden house stood, which had just a few decorations, mainly carvings and flowers. The shed, as expected, had no decorations at all.

Suddenly, the former human was approached by an elderly mare. She was white in fur, her mane was tied in a tail behind her head. The mane was still blond, though there were some gray streaks. Her eyes were of vibrant green and shone with life.

"Greetings, Sir Sirius!" she bowed. Her voice had already lost its young charm but was still youthful in a way. "My name is Flora, and I tend to the garden and the flowers around the mansion."

"Um... you don't need to bow." Sirius said a little bit nervously. In truth, he didn't expect to meet a gardener. Though, he liked her already. He always had a soft spot for elderly, especially those who were still in their minds. Flora's soft and welcoming way of speaking almost instantly warmed up to him. He just couldn't find it it himself to tell her to go away or be aggressive to her in any way.

"If you want so." the mare said. "May I ask who is your lovely companion is?"

"Iclyn is my friend" Sirius replied. "I thought we could look at the mansion."

"Right away! I will show you everything around here, and then you'll be able to rest while I tend to the flowers." Flora said, smiling.

Sirius didn't really know what to think of the place yet. Sure, Flora was nice, just as he would've expected if he knew she was there. The place looked fantastical, especially for him. There wasn't anything to complain about at all. Sirius was used to a simple bunk, maybe a small house, but nothing of this scale and size.

Though, he was still unsure of what to do next. He was Equestrian hero, he owned a mansion, he had a big load of money, and he was loved by someone he considered special. Truly, he had more than he could ever wish for. Respect, status, money, even love, it was all there.

Somehow, it didn't make him feel any better.

Author's Notes:

I guess that it's appropriate for Sirius to receive such a big reward. I don't think that Equestria has that many history in the current day and age, and thus a reward for getting rid of a tyrant is certainly fair.

Sirius had gotten more than he could ever wish for. However, there isn't much he can do with all those things. There are still troubles inside him.

P.S. As some of you might've already guessed, he has signs of PTSD.

Chapter 48: The Mansion

The tour around the mansion didn't take long, contrary to what Sirius expected. On the first floor, there were three rooms. They were big in size, making them like halls. A kitchen, a living room, and a sports room were situated there. The kitchen had a large cooking place, a couple of sinks, a wide variety of knives, other cooking instruments, cutlery, many differently-sized plates, and also an array of different fruits and vegetables packed in a refrigerator; the living room featured a large fireplace made of bricks, a big table suitable for a large family, a sofa near the fireplace, and a grand piano; the sports hall could be used for hoofball, tennis, basketball, volleyball, and other, smaller sports, not to mention martial arts training due to training dummies and weapon replicas made of wood. There was also a small toilet room hidden between the kitchen and the living room.

On the second floor, there were three rooms as well: a large bedroom suitable for a couple and maybe even more, and it also had an access to the balcony; personal study combined with a small library; and the bathroom. The bathroom had a medium-sized pool suitable for a few ponies at the same time, a shower cabin, and two small toilet rooms.

All in all, the mansion was perfect for living. Actually, Sirius found it likeable. He would be able to train by himself if he so wanted, cook his own food, and study. Though, the whole building still felt empty. It wasn't because there were just a few scenery paintings on the wall, it wasn't because of lack of elaborate ornaments, but it was something much more personal and spiritual.

Surprisingly, there was no one else in the mansion, not even the staff. Though, its size didn't require much effort to keep nice and clean. In truth, everything was rather simple. It was why Sirius liked it — he would immediately abandon the mansion if the insides were lined with gold and sparkles. Instead, he found something lively. The walls were lined with dark wood, the windows weren't too big but still provided plenty of light, and there was electricity. It wasn't like anything less than a mansion didn't have it, but Sirius found it particularly well-made in it.

To his surprise, he noticed a TV set in the living room as he passed through it. While it wasn't as thin as what he remembered was on Earth, it was still quite wide and didn't resemble a box. Though, he was never into watching TV anyway. As he found out, it accepted cassettes. He might buy a film or two just to see what Equestrians have to offer.

As he exited the mansion, he noticed that the mail box near the entrance had something in it. He wondered what it could be.

He walked to the box and opened it, revealing a simple letter. He saw that it was from the hospital he was recently released from. He opened the letter.

He frowned. It contained a list of exercises that would help him regain his strength and reinforce his damaged hind leg. He didn't have anything against it, but there was another recommendation — he should stay at home for a few more days. He didn't agree with it but decided to do it nevertheless. He didn't want to become a complete cripple, after all.

"So... I have to go to school." Iclyn said, sighing. "I'll... I'll bring you the homework once it's done, alright?"

"Alright." Sirius nodded. He didn't want her to leave but he didn't want to hold her either. He had to suppress his possessiveness. He didn't want to hurt Iclyn — she loved him, and the least he could do was make sure he didn't hurt her either intentionally or not.

As the gates closed behind Iclyn, Sirius sighed deeply. He still didn't know what to do about her.

"Is something the matter?" Flora asked him.

"It is personal." Sirius replied. "But... if Iclyn shows up, let her in without a question. She's... free to be here as long as she wants."

"Alright. If you require anything, call me, Sir." Flora nodded, and then went to tend to her garden. The winter was coming, and she needed to make sure her flowers would rise again in the spring. As she reached her garden, she noticed something peculiar — a red leaf growing in the far corner, away from other plants. She muttered to herself: "Must've missed it somehow... Though, I've never saw one before. Did it even grow here?"

Sirius looked at Iclyn as she went down the street. Once she disappeared, the former human headed into the mansion. He thought that taking a warm bath would be good for him.

He made his way into the mansion and then upstairs. As soon as he entered the bathroom, he took off the wheelchair and kicked it away. He despised it, he hated it, and yet he would need it later. Then, he took off his weapons and placed them where he would be able to see them. He pulled out the revolver from the pouch and checked the bullets. As espected, one of them was used. He pulled put a metallic box and replaced the casing with a fresh cartridge. All five rounds were loaded and ready to go. He placed the revolver near the edge of the pool.

He felt uncomfortable as he stepped on his damaged hind leg. Deciding to use it carefully, he limped to the pool. He turned a few knobs, allowing water to fill the pool. It happened rather quickly due to many hoses that pumped the water into the pool, and soon the amount of water was perfect.

Sirius slipped into the pool and lied down. He sighed in relief as he felt warm water touching his skin. He allowed himself to relax, finally. He lied on his belly, spreading out his hind legs and folding his front ones in front of himself to support his head. He closed his eyes and began to think.

Iclyn confessed her feelings to him, but he didn't know how to feel about it. It felt nice, but... Why did she fall in love with him? He was violent, aggressive, hateful, suicidal, even obsessive to a certain degree. He was an alien, a different mind. He simply couldn't understand what there was to love about him.

Lust, maybe. There could be lust. Maybe he could be somewhat desirable. He could see how a warrior with scars, the one who won a tournament and managed to beat a powerful alicorn-like being could be sexually desirable, but not romantically. He would never be a good father for a multiple reasons, including those connected with his body. He could be used for sexual pleasure and then thrown away, nothing more.

However, he saw in Iclyn's eyes that it wasn't lust. It was bigger, something he had a hard time understanding. He couldn't figure out why she felt such a way towards him.

Sirius always thought love was nothing but a desire to procreate. Capture a female, rape her, make her carry a child, and that was all. He despised that idea but found it to be true. Why else would there be love? Any male wanted all females, at least to his knowledge. Subconscious desire to rape and dominate was what guided them, nothing more and nothing less. Sometimes, a female was lucky enough to fall in love with her future rapist. That was all.

The former human was disgusted by it. He didn't want it. Iclyn loved him, but he didn't want to violate her body and soul. If he did the unthinkable, he would just tighten the terrible bond, making her think he was right for her.

Sirius felt awful. He didn't want Iclyn to get attached to him. He didn't deserve her, and she deserved better. He wasn't perfect, he was deep down the scale of good. Why would she ever choose him? It didn't make sense at all.

Maybe he should just lock himself up in his mansion and push her away until she moved on. It could work, at least in his mind. However, he understood that he would hurt her by doing so, and he didn't want to hurt her.

He was very confused. No matter where he went, there was a trap waiting for him.

Sirius sighed, his breath disturbing the water around him. He just wished to know what to do.

Though, he did have one very important thing to do. He needed to get the alicorn amulet and transport it to the mansion. It would be safer to store it there. Besides, the mansion was his new home in a way. Might as well make it more ready for defense if anything like changeling invasion ever happened again.

Iclyn couldn't concentrate on her studies, most of her mind was focused on Sirius. She realized he didn't want her to leave. In truth, she felt horrible for leaving him — he wasn't in a state to be alone. He needed support more than ever. Though, Iclyn needed to study — her future relied on her education. She couldn't just leave everything and spend her time with her beloved, but she wished she could. She saw the need in his eyes, the need for company.

However, the filly didn't know what he felt towards her. He certainly saw her as a good friend, but as something more... Iclyn hated to admit it, but Sirius was unlikely to love her back. Something restricted him, held him tightly. He was confused and scared — he didn't know what to do.

As for Iclyn, it wasn't her first love. There was a colt she had a crush on before, but he moved to another city to pursue his special talent. Iclyn moved on and was open for relationships. She wasn't the most popular student in class, but somehow she avoided getting noticed by colts. She wasn't the worst or the best, she was just in the middle. She had friends, even colts, but nothing really sparked her interest in anyone.

There was one shy colt she suspected might've loved her. His name was Wave Rider, and he was a dear friend to Iclyn. However, once she found out the truth, it was clear he felt even more shy around any fillies, not just Iclyn. Besides, he had a love interest of his own, and Iclyn tried to encourage him to take a step. It was yet to happen, but his confidence grew as their friendship continued. Iclyn hoped he'd be able to make the first step and get the one he loved.

As the bell rang, Iclyn packed her stuff and decided to go straight to Sirius. She wanted to know how he was doing.

Finally, the pegasus filly reached his new mansion. She hesitated to enter, however. Was she even allowed to go inside?

"Come in, dear." she heard the voice of Flora sounding from behind the gates. "Sir Sirius said you're free to enter whenever you like."

"Alright..." Iclyn said, and then flew over the gate, landing on the inside. "So, um... Where is he?"

"I believe he must be somewhere inside the house." Flora replied, using shears to cut the bushes. Lacking any magic, she had to use her forelegs, carefully balancing herself by using the hind legs.

"Is he the first owner of the mansion?" Iclyn asked with curiosity.

"No, it used to be owned by Blueblood Senior. Recently, he fell out of princesses' favor." Flora answered. "He wasn't a very good master, and thus I am glad he left."

"What happened to him?"

"It's due to the recent events around the wedding." the mare replied. "I believe he was found with his weapon sheathed. He was near the exit of the castle, and thus his actions were deemed cowardly and dishonorable. He had to give away his armor and weapons, as well as this mansion."

"Sucks to be him, then." Iclyn chuckled.

"Can't agree more." the gardener replied, smiling. "Now, go on. I'm sure Sir Sirius will be happy to see you. He looked troubled, and it seems he certainly wouldn't mind some company."

The pegasus filly nodded, and then strode towards the mansion. She was sure she'll be able to find him soon.

As she entered the main hall, she called his name. However, no one replied. Listening carefully, Iclyn noticed some metallic sounds coming from further inside the building. She stepped carefully, looking at the ground — the lighting was rather dim, making it hard to see. Iclyn didn't want to trip over anything, after all.

As she walked through the mansion, the sounds became more distinct. It was the clashes of steel against steel.

Iclyn rushed to the source of the sounds, fearing the worst. Were they changelings that came for revenge? She didn't have time to think about it.

Soon, she came to slightly opened double doors. She peeked, trying to analyze the situation before jumping into action.

In the hall behind the door, Sirius was fighting a unicorn pony. Iclyn prepared to enter and help her beloved, but something stopped her. The pony Sirius was fighting didn't look natural. It was more like a... projection, an image.

Iclyn watched closely. Sirius was moving quickly, but not as quickly as he used to. He was limping, making his stance not as effective as it was. He was also obviously tired judging by the way his nostrils flared as he breathed. However, he continued to fight despite being weaker and definitely not in his prime form.

Suddenly, Sirius awkwardly stepped on the floor, right hind leg folding under him, causing him to fall. Iclyn almost dashed to him, but he rolled away, avoiding being hit, and then jumped on his four legs and delivered a powerful blow, striking his opponent in the head. The pony disappeared, leaving Sirius alone.

The former human panted heavily, sweat dripping from his chin. He was exhausted, he needed to rest. He turned to the right and started limping towards his wheelchair. As much as he hated it, he needed it.

"Sirius?" Iclyn called him, opening the door slightly. "Are you alright?"

"...Yes." he replied after acknowledging her. "But I hate this thing!" he kicked the wheelchair. He inhaled deeply, forcing himself to calm down. Then, he strapped himself to the device.

"What were you doing?" Iclyn asked, walking up to him.

"Making sure I am not weak." Sirius replied. "I found this... magic projection device that helps training. I can adjust it, and the projection trains with me. It's like... a sparring partner who can learn to be efficient."

"Wow, it sounds complicated." the filly said. "So... how are you?"

"...I don't know." Sirius admitted. "This mansion feels... empty. I feel all alone here. I was thinking... Would you mind joining me?"

"You mean like, just now, or..."

"I would like your company here like... like it used to be." the former human explained. "That is, you may live in here. If you don't mind, that is."

"If you really want it..."

"I do." Sirius nodded without thinking twice. It was lonely, and he knew he needed Iclyn to be there for him. He would probably figure out what to do with love.

"Well, then I'll move my stuff here." Iclyn nodded, smiling. In truth, she was happy he asked. She wanted to be close to him — she loved him, after all. She didn't want to leave him alone, she didn't want him to feel abandoned. "I can do this now. I'll just explain some school stuff, and then I'll move my belongings here, alright?"

Sirius nodded simply. The sooner she did it, the better. He just wished for her to be around.

The mansion was too big for him alone.

Chapter 49: Relief

Sirius was left to his own devices once Iclyn departed to transport her belonging to the mansion. He was happy inside — he wouldn't be so alone in the mansion. While there was Flora, a rather kind mare that is nice to be around with, she was way older than him and thus not a companion he wished for.

In boredom, he decided to check what the TV could show. He unbuckled himself from the wheelchair cart, and then flopped onto the sofa in the living room. Sighing in relief, he used his magic to get the remote. He was surprised to find such an advanced piece of technology in the medieval-looking country. Though, he was glad it was there.

He pressed a button, and the TV turned on. The image was colorful, albeit the quality wasn't as good as he was used to seeing. Though, it was still pretty good.

The first channel displayed news. It wasn't something Sirius was interested in, so he pressed a button to move on to the next channel. It was a music channel, and a music not unlike electronic one he used to hearing on Earth sounded from the speaker. He wasn't interested in it either, and so he switched to yet another channel. This time, it was the channel about nature. A mare was sneaking on a crocodile, trying to take a better picture. The next channel was showing an advertisement, and Sirius immediately switched. He never liked commercials. The next thing to pop up was an animated show. It showed simplified images of ponies, and everything was colorful and cartoonish, certainly not unlike the early cartoons on Earth. It was a show about six pony friends who discovered more about the value of friendship and overcame different challenged and obstacles on his way.

Surprisingly, Sirius found it somewhat enjoyable. The simple, somewhat naïve, and yet so truthful presentation was what caught his eye. He used to watching a lot of cartoons during his childhood, and remembering his earlier years of life made him smile slightly. As in the show, everything was so innocent and so colorful, untainted by the horrors of the real world he had to face later.

So, the former human spent some time enjoying the show. The episode that was playing at that time showed as two ponies competed for the title of the best one, but ultimately found that each had their advantages and disadvantages over the other, making the argument obsolete and pointless. The episode taught how friendship isn't built upon competition but acceptance of others. It also managed to elicit a couple of chuckles from Sirius — he liked a few jokes thrown into the mix.

Overall, his mood was greatly lifted after he watched the episode of that show. He noted the channel, and then turned off the TV. As much as he enjoyed himself during the little watching session, he realized he was tired. His strength and endurance were both lowered by his coma, and he had to make sure he got enough rest to replenish them.

He tiredly stood up from the sofa and buckled himself to the wheelchair cart. Then, he made his way upstairs and entered the bedroom. Unfortunately for him, his stomach decided to voice its concerns over its yet unfulfilled need. Sirius didn't want to deal with it but understood that he needed food.

He felt it would be tiresome to use the wheelchair, and thus he took it off and placed in the corner of the room. He went back, limping along the way.

As he came to the stairs, he made his way down carefully and slowly, making sure he controlled each and every step. He made it without any accident, and then limped to the kitchen.

He looked inside the fridge. There were quite a lot of food to choose from, and he decided to grab a carrot, a few cucumbers, bell pepper, a bottle of apple juice. Outside the fridge, he found a basket full of apples, and grabbed some of them as well. He added a few slices of brown bread as well.

He discovered there was a folding table. He unfolded it, and then found a chair for himself to sit on. He hopped on it and rested his damaged hind leg.

Having no desire or will to prepare any meal, he just washed the items he found in the sink, and then ate them fresh and uncooked. He devoured the food quickly, and then downed the bottle of juice in one go. He let out a small burp, and then sighed.

He had apple cores and a glass bottle to deal with. Not caring for anything, he ate the cores, and then placed the empty bottle inside the fridge. He would figure out what to do with it later.

Sirius stood up from the chair, folded the table, put the chair back where it was, and then limped back to the stairs. Once he made his way to the second floor, he went to the bedroom and flopped onto the bed. He yawned tiredly, and then almost immediately fell asleep.

After Iclyn gathered everything she needed, she told the receptionist she was moving elsewhere.

In truth, the pegasus filly didn't have many personal belongings. A few books, hygiene things, everything she took to the school on a daily basis, and a few photos. It was all that she had and felt the need to move to her new place.

She wondered what she would do in the mansion. It was rather big, it would certainly allow her to stretch her wings even inside, which was a big plus to her. There was also a training program that would help her train outside the school. Overall, the mansion had everything she needed.

As she flew to it, her mind turned to Sirius once again. What would happen between her and him? Obviously, he was confused. There was something else to it, too. After she confessed her feelings, Iclyn saw something in his eyes. Was it fear? It could be so, she thought. Did he fear a closer relationship? He already told her he didn't want to hurt her, and he even told her how he had hurt his previous romantic interest. However, Iclyn felt there was something deeper, something more than the fear to hurt.

Did he fear... love? Could he even understand love? Of course he could — he even told her that he used to love someone else. There was sadness and regret in his voice as he told her how he treated her. True, he was possessive, at least according to his own words.

Iclyn was sure there was something else, something hidden deep inside his mind, something he didn't even want to remember. What was it? Even committing a murder didn't affect him as much, though Iclyn could tell he wasn't right ever since the wedding, even not counting the physical damage he suffered. There was something worse than murder that affected him in a horrible way.

But what was it? Iclyn feared that the discovery would separate her from him. She promised herself she would help him, but even then she wasn't sure if she would be able to stay until the end. The more he revealed himself to her, the more she saw the bad side of him that overshadowed his good side. There was definitely some good left inside him, but it was buried deep underneath all the pain, fear, anger, and hatred.

Iclyn just had to help him rediscover that he wasn't a bad person, just damaged. She believed all damage could be fixed. While some might remain and remind of pain, it could still be dealt with. Every experience that Sirius had passed made him who he was, and Iclyn was sure he could still change. It might take years, but he would eventually change. She saw he wasn't stubborn, he could admit he was wrong, and he definitely could learn from his mistakes. He had those redeeming qualities, and there was still hope for him.

Finally, Iclyn reached the mansion. She landed in front of the main building and headed inside.

This time, everything was silent. As the day came to evening, the lighting became dimmer and dimmer, submerging the surrounding into gentle darkness.

Iclyn decided to unload her belongings first. Most of them would go to the bedroom, but some things would better stay in the bathroom. So, she made her way upstairs and into the needed room. She turned on the light and found the place to put her hygiene care products in. After leaving them there, she went for the only existing bedroom in the mansion.

She opened the door gently and peeked inside. There, Sirius was lying on the bed, sleeping soundly. His eyes were closed, his chest rose and fell as he breathed. Iclyn decided not to disturb him and just join him in his sleep. She put down her saddlebags and went to the bed.

Iclyn stopped and took a look at Sirius. He looked tired. She could even notice that there were gray strands in his mane, making him look older. While his mane was still rather short, almost a month of no shaving made it long enough for the gray to be visible. The filly didn't know if it was there before but it definitely was there at that moment.

She walked around the bed and looked at him from another angle. The back of his head featured a fresh scar. It resembled an upside down V with slightly jagged edges. The fur would eventually grow there since the scar already looked rather well, only its fleshy color distinguished it from the rest of the head.

Iclyn sighed in relief — Sirius wouldn't be left with another scar for the rest of his life. He already had a share of them, and in her opinion, he didn't need any more scars. While they didn't make him ugly, they were reminding him of how he received them in the first place. At least it was what Iclyn thought.

Her eyes trailed to his right hind leg. It looked alright from that angle, though she knew Sirius would limp for the rest of his life — the damage done to it rendered it irreparable.

Iclyn remembered the details of him getting the injury, she remembered what was there after he used the revolver on Chrysalis. Sirius was lying on the ground in his own pool of blood, unconscious. Chunks of bone protruded from his broken hind leg, making even more blood flow out of his body. His eyes were closed, blood plastered across his features. His weapons were lying around: both his blades were covered in blood that wasn't his, and some smoke was coming out from the recently used revolver. Dead silence rang in the hall as everyone stood silently, frozen in shock.

Iclyn remembered the next few hours in haze. First, she was galloping towards Sirius, fearing he was dead. Next, he was carried on a stretcher to the hospital, and Iclyn cried, walking nearby. Then, she was forced to stay away for a while as the doctors brought him back together. They had to reconstruct his hind leg as it was shattered in many places. They had to ask for blood donations, and it was discovered Iclyn had the same type as Sirius. There were minor differences, but it was safe to use her blood. Without hesitation, Iclyn gave the needed amount. The process made her sleepy, and the next thing she was made to do was eat a lot to regenerate the blood. But in the end, it saved Sirius' life. If not for her, the doctors would have to search for another pony with the needed type, and unfortunately the ponies had plenty of blood types, making it a hard task to accomplish. There hadn't been injuries that would require so much attention, and that was why there wasn't readily-available blood on the go.

Iclyn didn't care about it as long as Sirius was alive. She had to wait more than a week to be able to talk to him again. It could've been months if he even survived the loss of blood in the first place.

She could still see fresh scars on his damaged leg. They were still fresh as the scar on his head, but they would heal even sooner, thankfully.

Iclyn got onto the bed and lay next to the one she loved. She hugged him in his sleep and nuzzled him softly, giving him the warmth he so desperately needed, the warmth he lacked for more than a week. The pegasus filly found the comfort enjoyable, and she could see why Sirius needed it as well.

She didn't know if physical closeness made her fall in love with him in the first place. It was a weird thing — love. Sirius was very different from Iclyn, and yet she loved him. Her heart ached as he lay in coma, Iclyn could remember it well. While the two might be different, she hoped the relationship would work out for both of them.

Iclyn would start it by showing how much she actually cared about Sirius. He was damaged and he needed help, something she definitely could provide.

She was sure the road to recovery would take long for Sirius, but it would certainly be worth it, she didn't doubt it.

Iclyn was full of hope and determined to do whatever she could to help Sirius change for the best.

Author's Notes:

As far as I know, horses' blood types are way more complicated than what we humans have.

So, will Iclyn be able to convince Sirius that love isn't a bad thing? Remember, he thought about it in the previous chapter, and how he sees love isn't exactly true or nice in any way.

Chapter 50: Issues

In the morning, Sirius woke up to the sound of light rain. He groggily opened his eyes, and then yawned. Something caught his sense of smell, and he inhaled deeply. It was a scent of fresh vegetables.

He turned his head to the right and saw a tray of food on the chest of drawers. With a sigh, he sat upright on the bed and turned his attention to the morning meal he didn't cook. Near the tray, a piece of paper was tucked. Sirius picked it up and unfolded to read.

It was written by Iclyn as he immediately figured out. She wished him a good day and fast recovery as well as told him she would be back soon. There was also a small heart drawn under the words.

For Sirius, it was a new experience. He had never seen anyone leave such a mark on any of the letters before, at least on those addressed to him. It was a small but important detail. The former human suspected that Iclyn was indeed serious about love and she truly held feelings for him.

It still puzzled him why. While it wasn't unwelcome, it was very unusual. Sirius simply didn't know what to do. What must he do? He was in love only once, and his feelings were more or less rejected. Besides, he didn't believe in true love. It was just a primal need to reproduce.

He didn't want to experience it at all. Affection was fine and all, but a connection such as this? He avoided it. While he couldn't forget his first love, it was more like an obsession as he later realized. An unhealthy obsession at that. So, he decided that he would avoid love from then on. It brought nothing but pain.

He put the note down and flipped it. He didn't want to see it anymore. Then, he ate the food prepared just for him.

It felt strange eating home food that Sirius didn't cook by himself. He was used to doing everything and anything by himself, never relying on others. He would buy products, cook them if needed, and then eat. He went to diners sometimes to have his food cooked by others but that was it.

He chewed the food, his mind absent from reality. He wasn't thinking about anything at all. He was entirely focused on eating and didn't feel like thinking. He didn't have much of an appetite in the first place, and thinking made it even worse.

After he finished eating, he stood up from the bed and started doing simple exercises the doctors advised him to do on a regular basis to strengthen his damaged hind leg. Those exercises weren't tiring at all, just boring and generally unproductive, at least Sirius thought so.

Some time later, he limped into the bathroom to clean his teeth and take a shower. It was a part of his morning routine, and he intended to do it. It was especially important for him since he abandoned the wheelchair cart and walked all by himself. It was uncomfortable, he limped, but it was better than being strapped to a bulky device. Sirius was used to being mobile without having to rely on anything, and he hated the wheelchair and everything associated with it. He couldn't stand it at all, and he intended to trash it as soon as he had the chance. Though, he decided to leave it until he felt it's time to abandon it forever. For some time, he would require it to move around the city. Maybe he would limp less in a few weeks or months, at least he hoped so.

Sirius remembered he was told that he would never walk normally, but he couldn't believe it. He denied it and tried his best to remain as physically active as he was before the duel with Chrysalis. If she ever broke out, she wouldn't find him weak and defenseless.

He also remembered that he needed shooting practice. If not for the missed shot, Chrysalis would be dead and pose no threat any longer. While she was hornless and under heavy guard, Sirius wanted to make sure that she wouldn't get him. He didn't want to repeat the mistake again, too.

Though, he needed to ask one thing. There was only one pony that would answer him.

***

As expected, Sirius found Flora near the gardens. To his suprise, she was tending to a strange plant that consisted of one giant red leaf. He remembered seeing it before, too.

"You poor dear..." Flora whispered to the plant, using her tender hooves to soften the ground around it.

The plant itself looked rather shaken. It was slightly dry near the edges, and a part of it was broken, bending unnaturally. It also looked like it needed more water and better conditions to grow into a beautiful plant.

"Flora, may I ask you something?" Sirius addressed the gardener.

"Oh, of course, Sir." the mare turned to him.

"Um... you don't need to call me Sir." Sirius said. "Just... omit the title. And about the question... Is the house soundproof?"

"I believe it is." Flora nodded. "I've not heard much noise even when large parties were being held there."

"What about very loud noise like... glass shattering? Steel against steel clashing?" Sirius inquired.

"It would be all fine, too." the mare nodded again. "May I be of any more help?"

"There is one thing..." Sirius said with uncertainty. "I need to get solid wood. Um, about... a hoof thick. It also needs to be... three meters tall and wide."

"Well, there is a carpenter's shop nearby, you can visit it. Or do you require me to go there?"

"I will be fine." Sirius stated. "Give me the directions, and I will go there."

Some time later, a few pony workers unloaded a thick wooden wall of what Sirius ordered, as well as a sheet of metal the same hight and widths but far thinner, coming to about two and a half millimeters thick. All of it was placed into the sports hall of the mansion, right near one empty wall that was used for storing the wooden training weapons. The whole ordeal didn't cost him too much, and he was satisfied with the result.

After Sirius paid for the deal and made sure everyone exited the mansion and the surrounding territory, he returned to the sports hall. He carried a few empty bottles he found in the kitchen to the improvised firing range. He put the bottles on a simple wooden tables, and then opened the pouch with the revolver. It was time for target practice.

The distance between him and the targets was long enough to represent a self-defense situation. Sirius knew he must be able to hit targets from this range, especially in their weakest and most vulnerable spots, including the head. A bottle was a small target, and Sirius intended to improve his accuracy.

He aimed the revolver and cocked the hammer, using single-action mode. It would require less force to pull the trigger later, making the shot alignment better.

He pulled the trigger and missed. His ears were firmly pressed against his skull, but the shot was still uncomfortably loud. He didn't have any gear to help himself with this problem, and so he had to use his natural abilities.

He aimed again. He was no sharpshooter, but he needed to become better and more precise with his shots unless he wanted to leave his next opponent alive. He didn't, and thus he wouldn't hesitate to improve his accuracy.

He pulled the trigger, and the bottle shattered immediately by a bullet. Sirius was satisfied with the result, but he knew he needed more practice than just a few shots. Luckily, he had a box of infinite ammo. He just needed to place the casing inside and then get new cartriges. He didn't know how it would ever work, but he was glad it worked.

He furrowed his brows. He decided to test something. He flipped the cylinder of the revolver open, ejected the empty shells and put them into the box. Next, he closed it and reopened to see the shells replaced by cartridges. He closed the box and put it on the floor.

Sirius walked to the wooden wall and looked at the points of impact. Two bullets certainly hit the wood and got stuck in it. However, he didn't see them. He lit his horn and shone inside the small holes. There were no bullets to be found.

A realization came to his mind — he could destroy the evidence of shooting just by reloading. The damage would remain, but it would be impossible to prove that he shot. He was the only owner of a gun, but he was sure he would be able to figure something out if he was ever accused of murder.

He wasn't going to use his weapon on innocents, of course. But it didn't mean he would never use it again for killing those who threatened him or those he cared about.

Sirius trained for another half an hour before he finished it. Then, he opened the windows to let out the scent of gunpowder from the hall. He decided to take a quick shower to get rid of the smell, too.

After limping his way to the bathroom, he locked the door and took off all his weapons and placed them where he would be able to see them. Then, he walked to the shower cabin and entered it. The shower cabin he had consisted of a small space boarded by three walls, one of which was transparent and acted as a sliding door.

As strange as it was, there was a mirror right inside the cabin. Sirius took a look at himself. While he seemed more or less normal, there was a tired look in his eyes. He just didn't want to do anything at all. He despised his weakened state, he despised having to use a wheelchair, and he despised himself for letting someone like Chrysalis live.

Suddenly, the memories of the wedding flooded his mind. Screams, blood, clashes of steel, dying moans, gurgling as someone choked on their own blood. Slash, blood, clash, blood, scream, blood.

Sirius sat down and clutched his head, trying to silence the call of the dead.

Clash, slash, blood.

He slid down the wall, tears in his eyes. He could do nothing. He was nothing but a killing machine. A crazed human hidden in a pony body. A murderer, savage beast.

Blood.

He remembered he did it for Iclyn. She said it was fine. But was it? Did he need to brutally murder those in his way? He remembered wishing to kill more.

Scream.

He was a disappointment of his family. His mother would disown him if she knew what he had become, his father would abandon his son and throw him in jail. He was a failure. He failed both his parents. He became a monster.

Dying moans.

He would never truly be loved. If she knew what he had become, there would be nothing but pain for him. Iclyn didn't love him either — she tried to fool him so he felt better about himself.

Sirius was utter trash, a leech feeding off of others, taking pleasure in murder and wanting more. He enjoyed violence, he enjoyed how he felt when others did what he needed them to do.

He clutched his head, shouting for it to end. He didn't deserve to live, he didn't deserve this mansion, he didn't deserve the fame, he didn't deserve to be loved.

Suddenly, it all stopped. Sirius was shivering as if he was cold, his breath in gasps, his heart beating at an incredible rate.

He was lying there, covered in the sticky sweat. He was helpless, defenseless, broken. Changelings didn't need might to break him. Even after he defeated them, they haunted him.

The murders he committed couldn't let him go. He was the first pony to do it in centuries. He could've disarmed his opponents, knocked them out, not kill. He did the right thing in the end, but was it the best option?

Why didn't Iclyn hate him after it? Why did she love him? She told him what he did was alright, but was it?

Sirius felt his mind returning into its frenzied state. He wanted, he needed to end it. His eyes darted around until he found what he needed.

He got out of the shower cabin. He didn't walk out, he didn't even limp out, but crawled. Then, he opened the pouch and pulled put the revolver. He immediately pressed its muzzle against his temple.

He shed tears as he felt the cold steel press against his head. He wanted to pull the trigger so much, he wanted to bring his misery to an end. He would never be able to heal and live a normal life, a life he dreamed about ever since his life turned into a mess of bad things, most of them made by his wrongdoings.

He hesitated. By committing suicide, he would hurt Iclyn and all other ponies he didn't know. A hero of Equestria, dead by suicide? It would certainly cause a great wave of others committing it.

Sirius wasn't heartless. Far from it, but more than he realized at the time. He didn't want to cause a massive depression. He knew how bad a personal one could be, he was still going through it.

His heart sunk as shivers ran through his body. He wouldn't make anything better by killing himself. He wasn't entirely selfish, and thus he didn't want those he cared about to suffer because of him.

What would Iclyn do? Wouldn't she follow him as soon as she saw him dead? Sirius didn't know how love worked but suspected something like it could happen.

"Sirius!" he heard a sudden call. Iclyn was standing near the entrance, her eyes wide with shock. She realized what the thing in Sirius' grasp was. She was stunned, her mouth opening and closing as she tried to say something else. Sirius was confused — he remembered locking the door. After a few moments of silence, Iclyn said: "Don't do it, please!"

Slowly, Sirius lowered the gun. He would deeply hurt Iclyn otherwise. Love or no love, he cared about her. He wouldn't like her to be sad because of him. Though, he still failed to stop himself from making her feel bad about him.

"Sirius... why?" Iclyn asked, galloping to him. She sat near him and looked him in the eyes. They were tearful and full of sadness and confusion.

"I... I don't know what to do anymore." he confessed, sighing. "I did so many bad things, I... I just..." he paused for a second before continuing as he gathered his thoughts. "Iclyn... Do you really love me? Me, of all ponies?"

"Yes, I do." Iclyn nodded without hesitation.

"Why?"

"Isn't it obvious? You saved my life, for once." the filly replied. "But before it happened, you told me much about yourself. Now, I see that there are many good things in you that you hide, afraid to show them to anyone." she put a hoof on his chest and felt his heart beating. "You are kind inside, but you keep it under the mask of aggression. You are... different, damaged, but still a person. A good person, you just have to realize it."

"If only I believed what you believe..." Sirius sighed sadly. "Thanks for words, but... I was always violent." he looked her in the eyes. "Always."

"It doesn't make you less of a person." Iclyn assured him. She continued talking, fearing that he would raise the gun again and end his life. She just needed to talk, and maybe he would understand. "Everyone has flaws. You have many flaws, but there is one thing about you that helps — you realize the flaws. You just need to work on fixing them."

"My aggression can't be cured. I always hurt people a lot." Sirius replied. "I.... I killed, too."

"But you did so to protect those you care about. And if you were that violent, how do you even care about anyone?" Iclyn asked. The former human started doubting his earlier words and thoughts. "Listen, Sirius... Don't let it into your head, don't let yourself think you're just a bad colt who deserves bad things. No one is inherently bad. As I asked you to do previously, trust me. Trust me, and I'll show you that there is more to the world than you think.

"Sirius, don't stay alone. Make friends, share ideas, and ponies will like you on a personal level. Try it, please. You don't need to isolate yourself and let only one pony determine everything."

"But... I can't do it." Sirius said, his voice filled with doubt. He spoke quietly. "No one would understand me. I'm an alien, remember? Not pony. Never was, never will be."

"I don't know a lot about my friends, but it doesn't make anything worse." Iclyn explained, seeing the ray of hope in Sirius' eyes. She held it tightly, hoping for the best. "We still do fun things together. We share what we're comfortable with sharing. That's what friendship is."

"...Maybe I will try." the former human said after some consideration. He put the revolver back into the pouch. He stood up finally. "I... I just need to rest."

"Sirius..." Iclyn put a hoof on his shoulder. "You still feel bad about killing the changelings, don't you?"

"...They haunt me." he admitted, and then sighed. "I see visions, and they... They drive me insane."

"You didn't kill them because you wanted to kill." Iclyn said, trying to find a way to approach this. "You had to. You believed they were hurting me. What exactly did you think when you were fighting?"

"I... I thought they... I don't know this word in this language yet, but... I thought they used you for sex."

Iclyn's eyes widened and Sirius looked down. She realized the issue. The two sat in silence for a few moments as she repeated his words in her mind.

"I... I didn't know it." Iclyn said in shock. "Then... If something like this was done to my friend, I would do the same as you did. I would leave no mercy. Anyone would be like you, Sirius. Fueled with rage and hatred, did you feel it?"

Sirius nodded simply.

"No one must ever blame you for what you did, Sirius." Iclyn said assuringly. "You went light on them. I've read about rape in history, and... it is horrible. I'm glad it's not happening anymore. Does... does it still happen in your world?"

"Every day." Sirius replied.

"This... This... How did you even survive there?" Iclyn asked, even more shocked. "I... I can't imagine this..."

Suddenly, she hugged him. She nuzzled him, giving him warmth and comfort. No words needed to be shared as the two sat on the floor, hugging. Iclyn finally understood why he was acting the way he did, and why he was still sorry for what he did. She realized that his world was an awful place, and for him it must've been exactly like rape, and he was the victim.

Iclyn realized where his issues were taking root. It was his self-hatred and self-doubt, as well as his other experiences he had to endure before coming to Equestria. He saw himself guilty because others did bad things. He just couldn't let it go, he couldn't distance himself from them. He was a complicated being whom she couldn't understand well and probably never would.

But it didn't hurt to try.

Author's Notes:

Finally, Iclyn realized that Sirius hates himself because of people that surrounded him when he was a human. Since he sees them as monsters, he knows he is a monster himself, and this thinking deepens the issues he has. Basically, Sirius hates himself and makes everything even worse for him. While he is not the source of issues, he unknowingly amplifies them, making himself think bad things about himself just because he had seen or heard about other people doing it.

So, I suppose you can treat this chapter as a special one. After all, it's the fiftieth chapter. Technically, fifty-first, but whatever. So, here is a big realization.

Also, Sirius really needs to treat his developing PTSD before it's too late. Gladly, Iclyn is by his side, and it would definitely make things easier for him.

Chapter 51: Words and Actions

Iclyn was full of shock — she had just witnessed a suicide attempt by the one she loved. Gladly, it didn't go far and she arrived in time to stop it and bring Sirius back to his senses. She didn't want to think about what would happen if she stayed for just five minutes longer. She shuddered from the thought.

At that moment, she gently stroked Sirius' back with her wing as he lay on the bed resting. His eyes were closed but he wasn't asleep. He enjoyed the comfort his friend provided, all the while thinking.

"I'm... I'm sorry." he said, his voice muffled slightly as he pressed his muzzle against a pillow.

Iclyn was silent and didn't cease her ministrations. She wanted to make sure he felt relaxed and comfortable.

"I don't deserve you." Sirius continued.

"Don't you say that!" Iclyn paused for a moment. "Everyone deserves love."

"No, not everyone." the former human argued quietly. "There are many... They don't want comfort. They want violence. Kill, plunder, leave nothing but ashes."

"Nothing like you're saying happened here for centuries."

"I already became the one to kill."

"But you didn't want to do it. You did it because you thought something terrible happened to me. You don't want to rape or torture. Sirius, you shouldn't hate yourself." Iclyn sighed. "You're a nice guy, really. Just... I guess you don't tolerate bullshit, you know? That time when you fought the bullies, they wanted to hurt you. Other than that, you've not hurt anyone but the changelings, and you certainly haven't hurt anyone that didn't deserve it."

"I remember how I choked you. Why do you defend me?" Sirius asked, turning his head to look at Iclyn. He still failed to understand why she wasn't beating him up at that moment. He wished she punched him, made him a bloody mess. Somehow, he thought it would make him feel better.

"You didn't trust me. You thought I was an enemy." Iclyn countered. "Sirius, I forgave you. The past is the past, and we all make mistakes at one point or another. You shouldn't be beating yourself for what was forgiven and forgotten."

"...Maybe you're right." Sirius replied with uncertainty. "I guess... I'm just too sensitive for my own good."

"No, you're not." Iclyn shook her head. "You just bottle up emotions for far too long. However, it's not your fault."

Sirius stayed silent. He realized Iclyn was right about him. He kept all his emotions suppressed, and it was what made him so explosive. He just needed to let it all out.

He began to cry, his body shaking. He began to sob loudly and without restraint. It wasn't the display of weakness, he realized. It was the display of his better side he kept hidden for years. In a sense, he was still a little boy that was afraid of the world around him, afraid of what it could do to him.

A few memories resurfaced in his head. A long time ago, he had his parents to rely on. Then, only his mother. Later, the one he loved. And then, no one. For the last years of his first life, he had no one to rely on, and it left him scarred far deeply than any physical wound could ever do.

"Don't be afraid, let it all out." the pegasus filly encouraged him while still comforting him.

Without anyone to support him and tell him kind words, Sirius slowly turned into an aggressive, hateful version of himself. He became what he hated, and it drove him insane and mad. His aggression led him to problems that deepened his depression and suicidal tendencies. When he broke loose, he went on a rampage. Once it ended, he ended himself.

Sirius didn't even know what other people thought of his last action. They were probably glad he was gone. He didn't want to think about it.

In his second life, he had only himself to rely on at the beginning. Even after he was found and brought to the castle where the princesses watched over him, he was still alone. He wanted to forget what he was, and thus he changed his name. However, nothing else changed. He was still himself, his issues were still there, and they were unsolved.

After he was sent to school, he met Iclyn. An unlikely bond grew and turned into what was happening between them in the mansion. Finally, he had the support he so desperately needed.

Sirius wasn't sure about his relationship with Iclyn, however. He didn't want to admit it but she was more than a friend to him. He was almost sure it was love. But was it? He wanted to do nice things for her. Just lie on the bed and hug, sharing warmth. Maybe make a gift and present it to her. Indeed, he wanted to do something nice for her.

However, he didn't want to hurt her and thus didn't want their relationship to grow further into more physical, intimate contact. What if she didn't like him in bed if it ever happened? And even if they did it, what if she became pregnant? What if something changed between them?

Sirius didn't want to put her through the pain of pregnancy and giving birth. Though, he wouldn't, and not just because he didn't want to.

He sighed deeply. Suddenly, he felt Iclyn's hooves on his back. He flinched as if he was hit.

"What are you doing?" he asked, quickly turning his head to her.

"My great-grandma always had problems with her back. To help her, I learned how to make massages." Iclyn explained. "I'm no earth pony, but I think you'll like it. Relax and let me do everything. Trust me, you'll feel better."

Sirius was silent for a couple of moments and Iclyn wasn't moving, waiting for his response. At first, he wanted to stop it, to tell her that she shouldn't have done it. However, he wanted to put more trust into Iclyn. He hesitated, but nodded. He gave it a chance.

Iclyn started moving slowly, using her hooves to knead his tense muscles. She felt how much he needed rest. It seemed like he was ready to jump into a fight even while seemingly relaxing. The filly wanted to make him feel safe and secure.

As time passed, Sirius began to relax, the tension in his muscles going away. He even smiled slightly, enjoying the sensation.

Iclyn moved down his body, and soon came to his backside. As soon as she touched his flanks, Sirius flinched and opened his eyes wide. Startled, Iclyn jumped away from him.

"What are you doing?" Sirius quietly demanded to know. He slowly craned his neck and looked at Iclyn. Then he repeated the question again: "What are you doing?"

"W-what is wrong?" Iclyn asked. She didn't like his tone, it induced... fear.

The former human stood up from the bed. He didn't feel so relaxed anymore. He needed a shower.

Without saying anything, he limped out of the bedroom, leaving Iclyn scared and confused. What did she do? She couldn't understand why Sirius reacted in such a strange and scary way.

Princess Celestia was heading to Sirius' mansion. She wanted to check on him and see how well he was doing in his new house. She also wanted to talk to him about the invasion he stopped and especially Chrysalis.

The solar alicorn had a chance to visit the changeling queen. She was furious over the loss of her horn, and it was found out that it couldn't be reconstructed. Its core was too damaged, and an ugly stump was left in the place of a once majestic horn. Chrysalis didn't fear to state that she wanted to murder Sirius in the worst possible way there was.

Celestia shuddered from the thought. The venom in Chrysalis' voice was too much for the alicorn to handle. She left the queen in her cell shortly afterwards.

Truly, the daylight princess never liked violence, especially its brutal side. That was why she always tried to peacefully solve any problems there could be in Equestria. Most of the times, it worked well. However, the villains she had previously banished or imprisoned were coming back, and Celestia wasn't sure she would be able to handle them alone or even with her sister. The hope lay on the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony.

Or on brutal ways of murder as Sirius demonstrated. Celestia knew he was one strange being with mind she couldn't quite understand, but it was obvious he didn't hesitate to kill. During his duel with Chrysalis, Celestia could see bloodlust in his hate-filled eyes, and it scared her. He hadn't hurt anyone outside of those who deserved it and this way the princess couldn't do anything about him other than follow the laws and reward him in the hope that he wouldn't turn against her ponies.

Celestia was a powerful alicorn but even she feared what Sirius could do. He was physically below an average unicorn of his age, but mentally and skillfully he surpassed most. He wasn't a great magic user but he had other no less effective ways and methods to harm or protect others.

Soon, the mansion came into view, and Celestia couldn't wait to see Sirius again. She cared about all ponies and she could see he needed support especially after the traumatic events of the invasion. However, she must make sure she wouldn't be too intrusive as not to antagonize him.

The carriage stopped at the gates. Some words were exchanged, and the princess had to wait for a few minutes. Then the gates opened, allowing the carriage to drive inside.

Frankly, Celestia was nervous but didn't show it. To most ponies, Sirius was a hero of Equestria, and the princess didn't want to do anything bad to him. In truth, she was just as thankful for what he did as other ponies were. She just didn't like the methods.

In a few moments, the princess finally disembarked.

"Sir Sirius is waiting for you inside, your majesty." Flora said, bowing.

"Thank you." Celestia smiled at the elderly mare.

The princess went straight to the main building. She ordered her guards to stay outside — it was a private visit, and she believed she wouldn't need additional security. First of all, she didn't come there looking for a fight. Second, Sirius was skillful enough to be able to handle her guards easily if he wanted to. She remembered he had a miniature version of a cannon that packed quite a punch. Very few knew about it besides the royal sisters.

As soon as Celestia entered, she looked around. She didn't know what she expected, but everything looked like when she evicted Blueblood Senior from the mansion. There wasn't an army of servants, and most of rich and excessive decorations were gone, leaving the simplicity and homely feeling the mansion was designed for.

Celestia liked Sirius hadn't changed anything yet.

She went forward right into the living room. The only glowing light came from there, and she suspected him waiting for her right in that room.

And she was right. As soon as she entered the room, she saw Sirius. He was sitting at the head of the table. Most chairs were close to the table, and only one was currently far enough from it to be sat on. The said chair was across Sirius.

"Welcome, your majesty." Sirius said, his voice mostly emotionless. He didn't have anger or fear towards the princess, he just acknowledged her presence. "Take a seat, please. Would you like tea?"

"Good day, Sirius." Celestia nodded, walking to the chair. "If it isn't too much to ask, I would indeed like some tea."

Sirius nodded, and a cup of tea along with a small plate under it was levitated to her end of table. The tea was still hot, steam coming off of it.

Celestia took her place and then sipped the tea. It was regular black tea. Unsurprising — Sirius didn't expect her and she doubted he even knew about different sorts of tea.

She took in his features. In the dim light of the room, even the sun from the outside didn't provide much. Sirius' face was mostly hidden in shadows, leaving his eyes glistening in the soft light. In them, Celestia saw neutrality and indifference. Though, it could be clearly seen that Sirius would like her to leave. The princess also noticed a white strand in his mane — the sign of experiencing too much stress in the short amount of time. Frankly, Celestia had no questions regarding how he got it.

The last thing she noticed were his weapons. Both his blades were placed near his chair, and the pouch was opened slightly, revealing the metal inside.

"You wanted to see me." Sirius more stated than asked. "Why?"

"I just wanted to see how well you're doing, Sirius." Celestia said honestly. "Do you like the mansion?"

"Yes, I do." he nodded slightly, keeping his eyes locked onto hers. His gaze was neutral and yet heavy. "It is nice."

"I'm glad to hear that." the princess smiled slightly. "How have you been?"

"Somewhat." Sirius waved his hoof. "I now have a permanent limp, new scars, but... Everything is going more or less fine." he admitted honestly. "There is one thing I want to know... The invasion, how did it happen?"

"Well..." Celestia cleared her throat. "I... I must admit it was partly my fault."

Sirius frowned slightly, but then his expression returned to neutral. His eyes expressed nothing.

"How?" was his simple question.

"Changelings can take the appearance of another pony." Celestia explained. "The bride was replaced by no other than Chrysalis herself. I noticed that she was acting weirdly but chalked it up to pre-wedding stress. Then, my student told me that Cadance was indeed strange, but I became angry at her — at that time, I still thought the bride was just stressed about the wedding.

"As I found later, I was wrong, I should've listened to my senses and my faithful student. But it was too late. Chrysalis revealed herself. I tried to fight her, but she managed to see my attack coming. She was feeding on the groom's love, and his love was so great it overpowered my magic. From that point, I could do nothing, unfortunately."

Sirius' eye twitched slightly. Was it because of her that he was forced to be a cripple for the rest of his life? He felt his anger rising.

"Your majesty..." he said, some anger seeping into his voice. "I can say one thing — if not your... dismiss, I might have not become this." he stood up and limped towards Celestia, only stopping halfway to glare at her. "This is permanent, princess. It can't be fixed." he inhaled deeply, controlling his urge to hurt the princess. "I don't want to see you in this mansion. You know I have the means to ensure my safety." He returned to his place, and then placed the pouch on the table. "Do not come near me. This mansion, money... It won't heal my leg." he glared at the princess once again. "I ask kindly... Don't come near me. Sit in your castle, rule. You are fine ruler. Better than most if not all that I've seen. But I don't want to see you."

"I understand." Celestia nodded, her smile gone and replaced with the apologetic look. "I'm sorry, truly."

"Words can't heal body." Sirius replied. "Sorry isn't enough to cure. It never is."

Celestia couldn't disagree with him. In truth, she realized it was directly her fault Sirius was hurt so much. If she had just listened to her own students and her senses, everything would be evaded.

Even for a centuries-old and wise ruler, she still made mistakes others had to pay for. Just like with her own sister...

"I hope everything goes well for you, Sirius." she said before leaving.

The former human didn't reply and just glared at her. No words would ever return proper functioning to his leg.

Chapter 52: Endings and Beginnings

Almost a month had passed since Sirius' suicide. On the Earth, in his hometown, it was the middle of August.

The one particular girl, the one that Sirius loved, was sitting on the porch of her parent's house. A photo of herself with Sirius was held in her hands as she stared off into the distance, watching as the sun disappeared below the horizon.

She remembered an extraordinary event that happened in July. Sirius' house was burned to the ground, and a day later police visited her. Since she lived pretty close to him, she was questioned if she knew anything about the destruction of his house. She was away from the town when it happened, so she had nothing to say about the event itself. She wished to know how and why it happened, however.

"...And the last thing, ma'am." the policeman said, and then handed her a photograph. "A body was found under the debris. Most of it is burned, so we can't find out whom it belongs to. Since you claim you knew the owner of the house for many years, maybe a photo of the arm would help."

"I'm not sure..." the girl said, taking the photo. She looked closer at it, trying to see anything of importance. The arm was slightly red but skin was still intact, although there were some nasty cracks along it. The back side of the hand was facing the viewer. "Oh, wait..." she looked at the hand. She remembered Sirius having a scar on the outer side of his right hand. "Is it the right hand?"

"I believe so." the policeman confirmed with a nod.

"It's... definitely not Stas." the girl said. "It must be someone else." she handed the photo back. "Um, he had a scar on the outer side. Maybe... maybe it'll help."

"Thank you, ma'am." the policeman nodded politely. "Have a nice day."

Since that visit, her mind was troubled. If it wasn't Stas, then who was it? She hadn't talked to him in almost two years. In fact, she hadn't even seen him anywhere but at his own house that was passed from his deceased mother. And even then, he was almost never there as if he was hiding from someone.

Stas had abandoned the school when he was slightly older than sixteen. She couldn't understand why he did it. Sure, he had some enemies but it wasn't that bad, at least to her knowledge. He wasn't exactly the friendliest type, but he was still a nice person even despite his issues.

Ever since she rejected him, the two grew apart at an alarming rate. He rarely talked to her after his failed confession, and it reached the peak when he stopped showing up at the school altogether. She tried to call him but he never answered. She also tried to get to him by coming to his house but he seemed to disappear instantaneously as soon as she was nearby.

A week after the fire, she ventured into the remnants of his house to look around for clues of his complete disappearance. The house itself used to consist of one floor and a basement. Since the house was mostly made of wood, its top burned down almost completely, leaving only the basement more or less intact.

She spent a few hours digging to the entrance. She even had to put on a gas mask — she didn't want the dust to get into her lungs. After all, she didn't know what kind of stuff burned in the fire. For all she knew, the dust could be poisonous. The land on which the house stood hadn't been bought yet, and thus the charred remains stood still.

Finally, the girl managed to find the entrance to the basement. Unfortunately, only the main part could be accessible — the door that led further inside was locked. Since it was made of metal, there was no way she could get in without instruments.

In the first room, she found a couple of rusty knives, a box of bullets, and a sword, as well as some miscellaneous things that weren't of importance. The sword's blade was slightly melted, leaving the point flat and unsuitable for thrusting but was still good for cutting and slashing.

The girl remembered he took fencing lessons ever since he moved into this town and attended the school. However, he stored not only practice blunt weapons but sharp swords that were ready for combat. She couldn't quite understand why Stas would ever need one.

In the end, she found nothing else in the house, but the box worried her — Stas never owned a gun, at least to her knowledge. With his anger issues, she saw how it could go wrong. The box wasn't completely full, too.

It was very strange. He was missing, a body that wasn't his own was found under the debris, and... that was it. The girl just couldn't figure out what happened to her friend.

Even after she rejected him, she was still supportive of him and wanted to remain friends with him. Though, he told her a few nasty words about her friends, he hurt them, and all of it caused her to stop talking to him just as he did to her. It might've been a wrong decision, however they were just teenagers. She regretted her decision but there was nothing that could be done at that point. She realized she shouldn't have abandoned him in his time of need, she should've worked things out with him. Alas, it was too late.

A few days after her search, the girlvisited his fencing club and tried to get the answers there. Since Stas kept his training away from school, no one from his club knew he was missing the school.

"You see Anastasia, Stanislav hasn't showed up since last month." the trainer explained to her. "I can only say that he became less talkative just when you say he stopped attending the school. Though, he devoted more time and effort to the training process. However, I don't know where he might've gone. Maybe to another city? I wish I knew — he is a good swordsman, and all of us miss him."

Anastasia could do nothing but leave. There were no answers to be found at the fencing club, even his own house had nothing to give her.

As days passed, she tried to dig up as much information as possible. Stas had a car, and thus him leaving wouldn't be unnoticeable. She checked the surveillance footage she had in her own house. The only road there was from his house to the town and other places of interest went right by Anastasia's house, and thus the cameras could've recorded him leaving in that direction in the car or otherwise.

During the course of July, Stanislav had driven off only a couple of times. The last time he drove was right before the arson, and he was driving back to his house. Unfortunately, car burned along with his house, leaving no evidence behind.

Anastasia came to a conclusion that he must be somewhere around. Since she had many things to do, she couldn't find the time to look for any more clues or just look around the town for him. But finally, it was the weekend when she was completely free, and thus she decided to venture into the nearest forest. If anything, he could be there, otherwise the police wouldn't have to search for him. There were still posters with Stas' face on them, and it meant he wasn't found neither dead or alive.

She put the photo into the pocket and stood up from the porch. It was time to move.

First of all, she decided to visit his house again. She left his sword there, and she figured it might be useful in some way. Something told her she might need it.

In truth, Anastasia wasn't into fencing much, but she admitted there was beauty in swords. While most girls like her weren't interested in weaponry much, she was fascinated by the looks of swords. It was something she couldn't express and she shared this fascination with Stanislav as well.

As soon as she retrieved the sword and attached it to the backpack she brought, she went to the forest. As far as she knew, Stas liked it a lot, and especially a lake in it was what he liked the most.

There wasn't a clear path through the forest since rarely anyone ventured there. It was a dense forest, and getting lost in it was pretty easy. However, Anastasia knew a way through it, one Stas had showed her.

When she came to it, she noticed that the bushes had broken sticks as if someone forced their way through it. She suspected it could be her friend that did it. She decided to follow the path and see if it led where she thought it led.

It was pretty noticeable that someone walked there some time ago. The broken sticks were dry, making it clear that it happened some time ago. Could be a week, could be two or even a month. Anastasia wasn't much of a trapper or hunter, so she didn't know for sure. However, she was certain it was Stas who made that path.

As she made her way through the bushes and over the fallen trees, she realized the path indeed led to the lake Stas liked so much. He told her that he always liked ponds and even back when he lived in another town he was used to spend a lot of his free time near a local lake.

Anastasia didn't know what made him like lakes. There was quiet and serenity near it, and even obnoxious bands of teenagers never visited it to drink alcohol. Indeed, that lake was a quiet place. Stanislav was an easily angered person who didn't hesitate to fight, and him liking such a calm place was a striking contrast. Maybe it was why he liked it.

Soon, she finally came to a lake. It wasn't very large but it had steep shores, making it easy to fall in if not looking where to step.

A very interesting thing immediately caught her eye — there was a strange plant growing at the base of a large boulder. That plant was red in color and featured pretty big leaves. It encompassed one side and the top of the rock. Anastasia wasn't a botanist but she wasn't sure such a plant existed.

With interest, she walked up to the plant and looked at it. It was full of life and energy, and something made it very attractive to a touch.

Suddenly, Anastasia noticed something even more interesting. It seemed like there was some sort of a paper bag underneath the plant. Was it the plant that looked like a bag or was the bag being consumed by the plant?

Something made the girl look at the lake's surface. There was a mirror image, but it didn't match with what was surrounding the lake. It was both interesting and creepy at the same time.

Anastasia heard a crack behind her. She turned around and saw... nothing. However, there was a sound. The sound of soft steps against the grass. Sometimes, another twig broke under the steps, but it didn't stop whoever was walking.

She didn't know what it was but she pulled out the sword. She wasn't much of a fighter but she knew how to use long and sharp things to her advantage. Stas had showed her some tricks that would make her fight better, and thus she took a defensive stance. She was right-handed, and thus she turned her body so that her right arm was in front. She placed her legs about one and a half foot length away from each-other and bent them slightly. She was ready to take whatever was coming to her.

The steps sounded closer and closer but there was nothing to be seen. Frankly, Anastasia was confused. The forest wasn't too dense to hide someone that close to her. She must've been able to see that person at that moment. The steps continued, getting closer. However, they turned to her left, and then she heard the sounds of someone climbing the boulder.

She looked up at its top but still could see nothing. She was puzzled and confused. Was she hearing things? She didn't know if the plant she encountered was intoxicating her and twisting her mind and besides, she wasn't even thinking about the weird red plant.

The steps stopped, some rustling sounded, and then the silence came. Something soft hit the ground, rustled a bit, and then settled.

Anastasia tensed. She had a feeling that it wasn't over. She prepared for the worst yet she didn't know what was coming. She felt as if she was blind. She held the sword out, trying to look as tough as possible. She also had a pepper spray in her pocket, it could probably help her as well.

*BLAM!*

Anastasia let out a yelp as the loud gunshot made her ears ring, and then she lost her balance and fell into the lake. She tried to grab onto something but only managed to catch a red leaf and tear it from the boulder. She was swallowed by the lake, her hand still clutching the leaf she tore out.

A few moments later, the surface of the lake became still again. Its clear water didn't show any sign of Anastasia's body. The bottom was clear, but it was devoid of fish or any plants.

The girl was consumed by the lake, as well as everything with her.

Later that day, a search was conducted to find her. The parents, the police, and many other people that knew Anastasia searched for her around the town and the forest.

Somehow, none of them ever came to the lake.

Author's Notes:

Dun dun DUUUUN!

I must thank one of the readers for giving this amazing idea. They know who they are.

Just to clarify: Sirius' real name is Stas which is short for Stanislav. I can only tell you that this name is of Russian origin and that it's not my name. Anastasia is also of Russian origin (which originated from Greek, but that's not the point).

What do you think about what would happen next?

Chapter 53: Reconnection

Author's Notes:

I forgot to mention one very important things that I should've posted at the beginning of the story.

All sex scenes will be marked with *** at the beginning and end, making them skippable. I'd recommend not skipping them because of their relevance to the story and feels of characters.

I was planning to deliver this chapter twelve hours ago but realized I really needed sleep. So, I finished it in the afternoon.

Anastasia saw nothing. It was complete and utter darkness. No view, no sound, no feel.

Nothing.

Her mind raced. Was she dead? Was it the afterlife? Was it limbo?

She waited.

There was still nothing.

She began to think, but her thoughts were interrupted by an uncomfortable feeling as she felt something pulling on her body.

Feel.

Without pain, there were changes to her body. It was pressed, stretched, hammered, and yet the only thing she felt was pressure and it wasn't painful. She didn't know what was happening. She couldn't breathe but she didn't need to. She couldn't see but she didn't need to. She felt it would be over soon.

Her mind was confused. What was happening to her? The last thing she remembered was a gunshot, and then her body hit the water. Did someone kill her? If so, why could she still feel herself and think? Her mind was completely clear. It was the strangest sensation she had ever felt in her entire life.

Suddenly, her vision began to return. At first, she saw something blue. As her vision focused, she saw that it was the sky, and there were clouds in it. A familiar sight but still different in a way she couldn't describe.

However, there was something else. Anastasia could see something large between her eyes. The eyes themselves felt pretty strange but she couldn't quite tell what was off.

She raised what she thought was her hand only to discover that it became something entirely different. Her eyes widened as she realized it was a hoof. She was confused beyond words. What was happening to her? Was it a hallucination or was it real? If it was the latter, how could it be possible? She always was a human, and she knew that there was no way a human would have a hoof. She saw no reason for her to have a hoof instead of her hand.

Anastasia decided to take it easy. She calmed down, and then touched her face. The big thing between her eyes felt like a muzzle. She realized it felt like a horse's muzzle. Even with decreased sensitivity of a hoof, she could still feel it. She was used to riding horses when she was younger. Even after she abandoned the hobby, the knowledge about horses remained in her mind.

She carefully raised her head. It wasn't hard but her neck felt extremely long, way too long for a human neck. She could also feel her ears swiveling on her head out of her control. She was agitated and nervous, and her body's first reaction was to look out for possible danger.

She looked around. She discovered she was afloat on a large red leaf in the middle of the lake. She let her head fall back where it was, letting out a sigh.

Anastasia didn't know what was happening but she had to adjust to it. So, she took a moment to analyze everything including herself.

The fur on her muzzle was very light-brown, that was what she noticed first. She assumed her whole body had the same color and moved on. She could see her tail by slightly turning her head. It was dark-brown, just like her hair once was.

She wished she could see more but either than knowing she was an equine of some kind she knew nothing. She needed a mirror, at least. However, there was another thing she could check right away.

As she found out, she was still female. She sighed in relief — at least something was somewhat familiar and felt right in her body. It would need some time to get used to but hopefully it wouldn't stay that way for long.

She wished she was on the ground than in the middle of the lake. She wasn't sure if she was able to swim in her new form, and being on top of a leaf didn't ease her worries. What if it tore? She would certainly drown since she didn't know how to swim.

As soon as the thought entered her mind, the leaf started floating towards the shore.

Anastasia sighed again and relaxed. It didn't seem like it would end soon.

Sirius was lying on the sofa in the mansion, resting. Iclyn was upstairs doing homework in the study, and he was just relaxing. He tried to think about something other than princess Celestia's visit. She angered him a lot, and he wanted to destroy things, especially hers. He snorted loudly from time to time, letting some of his anger escape.

He hated Celestia for one main reason — if she didn't mess up, Sirius would still be able to walk normally. For a centuries-old ruler it was unacceptable to fail in such a way, allowing basically rapists flood into not just any city but the capital itself. Most importantly, most of them evaded punishment and could be plotting something else, including Sirius' assassination or torture, neither of which he would like to experience, especially the later.

He became increasingly paranoid, and the pouch with the revolver was lying right beside him, his gun ready to be used. He would take no chances on that one.

Suddenly, he felt something very unusual. He remembered feeling it before, just a few weeks ago. It was when... he got back his revolver. It was the same strange pull that nagged him in the back of his mind. However, it wasn't coming from the Canterlot Castle. It was coming from someplace else, someplace he remembered. He couldn't quite place it, though. It was something very familiar but still elusive and mystical.

He decided to investigate. Whatever it was, it certainly was worth checking out. He might get something else, something that would be just as useful as his revolver. He couldn't miss the chance. Getting there would be difficult with the state of his body but he could try, at the very least.

Sirius stood up from the sofa and strapped all his weapons to himself. After making sure everything was secure, he headed towards the exit. He limped but he didn't want a wheelchair to restrain him. He was sure it would be more of a nuisance than a helpful device.

"Where are you going?" a voice sounded behind him. He turned around and saw Iclyn going downstairs. A curious look was on her face, as well as slight worry.

"I need to visit a place. I will return soon." Sirius replied, and then exited the mansion.

Iclyn was confused — where was he going? Why was he going?

However, she decided to let him go. He was probably going to buy something and return pretty soon. There was no need to bug him with questions.

Instead, Iclyn decided to return upstairs and spend some alone time.

She had been thinking about Sirius a lot, and her mind went into a very particular direction. Iclyn wanted him in bed. She imagined them sharing the pleasure of love. They would kiss, mate, and then rest. It wasn't something unusual for her to think about — in the end, she was still a teenager. Some of her friends had already had sex and they told her it felt good. Iclyn wanted to try it for herself, and what would be better than sharing the experience with someone she loved dearly?

Finally, she reached the bedroom. Closing the door behind her, she went to the bed and lay on top of it. She let her imagination flow.

Iclyn felt the need to be handled by a stallion, and Sirius would be the perfect one for it. Tentatively, she used her hoof to touch her most precious spot. She let out a quiet moan as she rubbed herself.

She imagined she would guide Sirius to bed. He would be nervous about it but would accept her guidance. She would help him lay on the bed, and soon she would join him. She would kiss him, and he would kiss her back.

Slowly, their arousal would grow, making them both more and more daring. Sirius would become less and less nervous as Iclyn would kiss him, trailing her lips down his body.

Iclyn rubbed herself and moaned. However, her hoof wasn't enough — she needed something else.

She imagined she would lick his stallionhood and bring it to erection. Sirius would blush slightly, letting out his more sensitive side. Iclyn would prepare him for the main course by covering his rod in saliva.

Then she would take her place on the bed, backside up. She would tell Sirius to mount her and do as he pleased. Tentatively and slowly, he would rise and take a place behind her. He would still be nervous, and after some encouragement he would penetrate her, bringing the pleasure to the next level.

But something was... off. It wouldn't be how Sirius would act.

Iclyn felt her arousal going down. No, something was wrong. She remembered a very important thing. As she made a massage to Sirius, he flinched as she touched his backside. As he turned to her, she saw fear and rising aggression in his eyes.

The filly came to a realization that Sirius didn't like intimacy. Why? What was the problem?

She had never seen him giving any looks to any filly. Was it because he was an alien? Iclyn felt it wasn't the only thing that bugged him. There was something else she didn't know yet, something Sirius was hiding well and didn't want to reveal.

Sighing, Iclyn sat upright. Until she discovered what it was, she and Sirius wouldn't be as close as she wished to be. He was a nice person once he drops his mask. Nice... and very, very damaged.

Maybe he already loved her but couldn't tell her. Iclyn needed to find out what made him that way. Unfortunately, he had left and thus she needed to wait for him to come back.

Sirius disembarked the train on a station he felt the strongest pull as if someone guided him to the source of the strange feeling he had experienced earlier.

On his way to that station, he was greeted multiple times. Ponies indeed saw him as a hero, and a few of them asked for an autograph. He politely refused since he was in a hurry to discover what was calling to him. He didn't want to be seen as a grump — foals were looking at them, and frankly, he didn't want them to see that heroes aren't always happy. Sirius doubted anyone would have to be heroic in the next couple of years. Maybe they would, and he didn't want Equestria to fall just because everyone feared being heroes. It was a peaceful country with many beautiful sides, and Sirius didn't want to see it in ruins.

He was also offered help with moving since he didn't bother to get into the wheelchair cart. He refused, however — he didn't want to be a burden or be seen as weak. And so, he was limping the entire way to the train station, trying to lessen it and make it seem like he walked normally. It didn't work very well, unfortunately.

As soon as he disembarked the train, he looked around. He didn't bother to look for the station's name since it wasn't his main focus. He needed to find the source of the pull.

He felt the direction he needed to go, and so he entered the nearby forest. He was going to find whatever was pulling him.

After making it to the shore, Anastasia was learning how to walk again. It was hard, she planted her muzzle in sand a couple of times, but she managed to learn how to walk slowly. It was still uncomfortable but she was sure she would be able to gain the ability to move fairly quickly. She also took a look at herself by using the reflection the water gave to her.

As she found out, she became a unicorn. Her eyes still had their hazel color, her mane was colored as her hair was, and she was indeed an equine of sorts. Her facial features were still human-like in some way, but the most of her body was very close to equine. She was very surprised to see a horn on her head. She even giggled — she became a unicorn — a mythical creature from fairy tales. It wasn't so bad. At least she became something she liked.

She sat down and sighed. Frankly, she didn't know what to do. However, there was something very important — along with her body, all her items made it into the new world, arriving on the same leaf as she did. It wasn't much: a small backpack, her clothes and shoes, and Stanislav's sword with a melted point. There were a couple of snack bars inside her backpack along with a bottle of clean water but that was it. She wouldn't be able to survive long on those things.

Anastasia didn't have a plan. Everything around her was familiar and at the same time very different and alien. She simply couldn't come up with a plan. It was completely impossible for her to figure out what to do in the light of the recent events. She was confused just as much as she was scared. The sticky fear encompassed her. What if she never returned to her home? She couldn't imagine how worried her parents would be!

The sun was setting but she had nowhere to go and nobody to turn to for help. But maybe there was something behind the forest? It didn't look too different from what she had near her house. Maybe there was a settlement nearby and she could ask for help.

Sirius was walking through the forest, stepping silently and making sure he was unnoticed. It was hard due to his colors but he stayed low, his gun out and ready just in case he ran into something hostile. So far, everything was silent. However, he felt the pull stronger than before. He recognized the place, too. It was oddly familiar to him as if he was there before. Since it was autumn and leaves were turning into their autumn colors and falling, he couldn't figure out why everything was so familiar.

Even with a limp, he managed to move silently. Whatever he was searching for was very close to him.

"Can anyone hear me?" a voice came from behind the trees.

Sirius immediately ducked. He slowly turned to the source of the voice and saw a unicorn mare of approximately his body age.

Her voice was human, she spoke English. Just like him, she came into the new world. Strangely, her voice seemed very familiar. Sirius shook it off as being the voice of one of the strangers he often met on his way to training or school.

So, it was another human. Sirius felt his anger growing — he was already quite bad, but there were many humans worse than him. They invented weapons to erase the life on Earth if they so wanted. Why? Because of politics. Even more, because of the desire to destroy.

He raised his revolver and aimed it at the unicorn. He wouldn't let any other human live here.

He cocked the hammer, and it took its place with a satisfying click.

Suddenly, Anastasia saw the one who aimed at her. Her eyes widened as she realized a gun was aimed at her and it was ready to shoot. Her eyes connected with Sirius' eyes. In his, she saw aggression, hatred, fear, and... hesitation.

Sirius froze in place. Those hazel eyes... An image flashed before him. A teen girl, hazel eyes, dark-brown long hair. Before him, a filly stood. Hazel eyes, dark-brown mane. She looked at him with fear in her eyes, unable to move or speak.

A realization hit him like a train. It was impossible, and yet there was no denying.

The one standing in front of him was none other than whom he loved.

Her.

Chapter 54: Distance

"P-please, don't shoot me!" Anastasia managed to utter meekly. She was still frozen in place and afraid to move a millimeter.

Sirius blinked. He realized it was indeed her. Her distinct soft voice with some Russian accent still present was very familiar to him. What must he do next? She was a remnant of his past, something he wanted to forget but couldn't. He could kill her and end it all.

Suddenly, a thought appeared in his head. No, killing her would be sick, disgusting, unacceptable. She did nothing wrong to him, it was he who messed up and ended up pushing her away. It was all his fault, not hers. If he killed her, he would become a true murderer. No justification, no excuse would save him.

He was disgusted at himself. He knew not all humans were monsters. Why would he kill the first human to appear in Equestria after him? Maybe they were just as broken as he was and needed help to become whole again? Maybe they were just confused and wanted to go home? Sirius felt sick to the bone. His parents, friends, the special someone, all of them were good people. There were more good people in the world besides them, too.

Would he be any better than those he wanted to kill? No, he wouldn't. He mustn't kill unless it was self-defense. He wasn't a murderer, at least he hoped he wasn't. And then, there were Anastasia. As he was used to call her softly, Nastya.

He loved her, but to him love was disgusting. He didn't know what to do, he was confused beyond words. What must he do with her? He couldn't just leave her. How did she even appear there? Had she committed suicide as well? No, it was impossible. She had a happy life, much happier than his. She would never have a reason to kill herself. She had plenty of friends, some boys liked her in a special way. She must've already got a boyfriend, too. He didn't know it.

Sirius used to stalk her once he stopped going to school. It was sick, it was disgusting, but he just couldn't stop. She hadn't seen him once but he saw her, he followed her anywhere he could. On social media, he monitored her activities, her posts. It was unacceptable and creepy, but he couldn't stop. He was obsessed with her and refused to let go. From something mostly innocent, his attraction grew into addiction and he couldn't get rid of it as if he was still doing drugs.

Anastasia still didn't move. She saw hesitation in Sirius' eyes and hoped he wouldn't press the trigger. She hadn't known it was Stanislav yet. Though, the look in his eyes was oddly familiar.

"How did you get here?" Sirius asked her finally. He made up his mind and decided that he would do anything possible to finally let go and maybe have her as a friend.

Her eyes widened. She knew that voice, that slightly monotonous way of speech. The voice was just like she remembered it albeit slightly lower. It couldn't be...

"Stas?" she asked, and he immediately flinched. It was him. "Is that... you?"

"...Yes." he nodded. "So, how did you get here?"

"I... Well, I was actually searching for you." Anastasia started explaining. "I, um, came to the lake you liked and... I saw a strange red plant on a rock. I walked to it to see what it was since I haven't seen it before, and... There were weird footsteps. Um, I don't remember much, but... there was a shot. It didn't hit me, but I stumbled and fell into the lake. And... I'm here now."

Sirius wasn't skeptical in the slightest. He didn't believe in ghosts or anything supernatural, but he had already discovered there was afterlife and magic. There was nothing impossible, it seemed. He decided to believe in her statement.

He took a closer look at Anastasia. She was wearing clothes, though they were unbuttoned and loose. She also had a backpack and his sword strapped to it.

Sirius walked to her and looked at the sword. It was as he remembered, although the tip was flat. He was surprised it survived in the fire.

It was, in fact, his first longsword. Its cross-guard was straight and simple as was the rest of the sword. It was still a fully-functional sword that could cut very well. He never used it in trainings with others but only for cutting different thing to learn how to align the sword properly.

He took the sword from Anastasia, eliciting a surprised yelp from her. She stared at his horn as she saw it glowing. It was glowing before but she hadn't noticed it until that very moment.

"W-wha... Magic?" she said, eyeing the horn with interest and fascination.

"Yes. This world is... different." Sirius replied. "It has magic which we can use with our horns. Though, it doesn't matter now. I'm afraid there is no way for either of us to go back." he silently added that he didn't want to return anyway.

"...Oh no..." Anastasia sat down as her eyes teared up. She expected it but pushed away the thought until it was confirmed. She had to embrace it. The university, gone. Her friends, gone. Her family, gone. Nothing remained but a distant memory of a person and a couple of items. "No..."

"It is not the time for crying." Sirius averted his eyes. He just couldn't look at her. It was partly his fault that she was there. "Follow me, I will get you to a better place than this forest."

"I... I..." the girl sobbed, realizing that her life was changed forever.

Sirius sighed, and then finally put the revolver back into the pouch, remembering to disengage it first by slowly releasing the hammer. Then, he placed his old sword between the first two. He would certainly make use of it as at least a wall-hanger. It had so many memories associated with it he couldn't just throw it away or reforge. It bore some significance to him even while he was rarely attached to things.

"Nastya, let's go." he repeated, using the softer variant of her name.

She nodded somberly and stood up. Tears were streaming down her face, leaving trails behind. Her eyes were already red as she sniffed. She was entirely engulfed in sadness.

It was painful for Sirius to see her in such a condition. She had lost everything in one moment while searching for someone she hadn't even talked to for two years. She found him, but was it worth it? Sirius definitely doubted it. He also couldn't do anything to help. They became too distant.

"By the way, don't call me Stas." he said, gaining her attention.

"W-why?" she asked him quietly. Why would he want that?

"My name is Sirius now." the former human replied. "Now, listen closely. I had to learn a new language to communicate with others, and they look just like us. Unicorns, regular kind, and pegasi. As strange as it sounds, it is true. This is your new life — you better accept it."

He was slightly harsh towards her but he saw no reason to like their birth world. It was a mess. There was living and artificial trash everywhere, nasty people were in power and didn't do anything they were supposed to, and basically no one cared for anyone or anything. They were all about themselves and no one else. There were good examples of humanity but they were drowned by the overwhelming amount of 'intelligent' trash that Sirius despised so much. He was no better and he realized it but he was still better than most.

That was why he didn't want humans in Equestria. The country had no defenses that could sustain an invasion from Earth. Many third world countries were invaded for resources and political reasons, why would Equestria be different? Ponies would be enslaved, forced in camps to be studied, and humans would try to learn how to use magic. Forests would be gone, resources drained, those opposing to humans would be murdered in cold blood, and the once peaceful country would turn into another pit for trash.

While Sirius understood his methods were extreme and psychopathic, he knew how bad humans could be. Nothing stopped violence but bigger violence, unfortunately.

With the dark thoughts in his mind, Sirius thought about how to help Anastasia blend in.

"Also, you need to take off your clothes." he said. He didn't like his own tone but he couldn't help it.

"What? I'm not going around naked!" the girl protested.

"Everyone else is. No one cares if you're naked. Do you want to get noticed and then questioned about your origins?" Sirius asked, his anger rising slightly.

"But—"

"Are you going to act like a spoiled child or do as told?" Sirius snarled, losing patience.

"Don't talk to me like that!" Anastasia retorted, glaring at him.

"The only reason you're alive right now is because I don't hate you as much as others." he growled out aggressively. "And what, do you think I want you to get naked for my sick pleasure? You must do it if you want to successfully make it, not because of me."

"...This is not how I remember you." Anastasia sighed, making his heart sting. She started taking off her clothes while not looking at the one she thought was her friend.

"Should I care?" Sirius replied angrily but it only made her sigh again. He didn't want her to be close to him any longer. Love was disgusting, he was no better, and he didn't want the reminder of his failures to constantly be with him. "Now, you do what I say you do. Don't talk to anyone, don't act too interested in the surroundings, and follow me."

"Where are we going?" she asked tiredly. She wanted to get over it and be done with it. Her friend had become someone else entirely during the two years she hadn't seen him. She didn't know if she could still be friends with him anymore.

"To my house. To blend in, you will have to learn the language." Sirius explained. "It is easy but it will take time, I still struggle a bit. Then, we'll figure something out."

"...Alright. I guess I don't have a choice." Anastasia nodded, and then proceeded to follow him while looking at the ground.

Sirius decided to be silent. He didn't want to harm her by saying what he did and what he considered being another option. He committed suicide and was stopped from another. Besides, he hoped she wouldn't have to kill herself. In the end, he still cared about her in some way. He tried to cut the ties but he couldn't — they were way too strong.

He didn't know why Nastya was there. Was it a coincidence? Why would she go searching for him after he had been away from her life for two years? It just didn't make sense to him at all.

Something wasn't right but he still had to figure it out by himself.

So, the two continued walking. Soon, Anastasia noticed a limp in her friend's gait.

"What's with your leg?" she asked him.

"Got in a fight because of someone else's mistake." Sirius replied.

"It must've hurt..."

"It didn't." he shook his head. "I did something worse to them. It was a fair trade."

"What happened?" Anastasia asked. She just wanted to keep the conversation going as a way to distract herself from the fact that she would never return to her home. She also wanted to know how he got in such a situation.

"I was thrown across the room, bones broke, my leg couldn't be fixed afterwards." Sirius answered, and then said with great satisfaction: "I shot the horn off."

"This... isn't just a fight. Why was it so... brutal?" she was shocked by how easily and carelessly Sirius was talking about it as if it was nothing. He was definitely not the one she had befriended a long time ago. He had always been violent and looking for a fight with those he didn't like but it never went above bruises. The most he had gone to was knocking his opponent out on exactly one occasion.

"Some... beings just don't deserve to live. I was aiming at the head." Sirius replied.

Anastasia stopped. No, it was all wrong. It wasn't Stanislav she remembered. He became someone entirely different and much more violent and aggressive. What happened to him to make him that way? She just couldn't understand.

"Stas... it's not you..." she said, her voice shaking from shock. "You... you'd never do that! You'd never say that!"

"There was no other way." Sirius replied quietly. "I protected the one I... care for. If I didn't, everything would be much worse."

"W-what happened, then?" Anastasia inquired.

An image flashed before Sirius. Blood, clashes of steel, bones breaking.

"I don't want to talk about it." he stated darkly, and then continued moving. "Let's go. We will talk once we're safe."

Anastasia nodded silently and followed him. As much as she didn't like it, she had to follow him unless she wanted to get lost and die in the forest.

Soon, the two embarked on a train to Canterlot. Anastasia couldn't help but look out of the window as the train went through forests and then up the mountain, allowing for a breathtaking view to be seen. The new world was very beautiful and it was filled with all kinds of colors at that time of the year.

Meanwhile, Sirius was sitting silently. He didn't know what to do next. He couldn't force her to stay with him forever. Someday, he would have to reveal her to the princesses or arrange everything by himself. He had money, and he was sure he could just buy his way. No one must know that there is another alien. Maybe he would let Iclyn know. Yes, he definitely would. He trusted her, and it couldn't be said about the princesses.

"N... Nastya?" he called after stuttering slightly. It felt so strange saying her name again.

"Hm?" she turned to him.

"Wake me up when Canterlot is announced." he said, and then added "Please."

"Can-ter-lot. Got it." Anastasia nodded, and then turned back to the window.

Sirius sighed and relaxed. He wanted a quick nap before he had to deal with Anastasia and everything that came with it.

Author's Notes:

There are more disturbing things inside Sirius. For once, he had used to be a stalker.

Yeah, it turns out he has a lot of negative sides. At least he realizes it and desperately wants to fix it. I guess it is a somewhat redeeming quality that makes him not a total psychopath.

Chapter 55: Learning From the Past

Sirius appeared in an empty and dull hall. Walls, ceiling, floor, everything was made of simple gray stone. He looked around but found nothing of interest. He looked on the floor and saw a very peculiar item lying underneath him — his longsword. He immediately picked it up without a word. He must always be able to defend himself against anything and anyone.

He heard something scraping against the floor behind him. He turned around swiftly and raised his sword. What he saw surprised and shocked him.

Before him, Anastasia stood in her human form, her eyes tearful and red, and she clutched his old sword in her slightly bloodied hands. She looked bruised and beaten up as if someone continuously used her as a punching bag. Her clothes were torn in multiple places, too.

"Nastya?" Sirius managed to only whisper slightly.

"Why did you drag me into this?" she asked him quietly, her voice full of sadness. "Didn't you have enough?"

"I, I haven't done it." the former human said defensively. "Just... this world, Equestria, it's better than what both of us had. I didn't even k-know if you would ever appear here."

"You have always used me just to sate your desires." Anastasia continued, ignoring his words. "I have lost everything because of you. People were afraid to make friends with me because of you. And now? I don't even have a significant other. Why? Because of you."

Sirius took a step back and tried to say something but his mouth just opened and closed. She was right — it was all his fault.

"A violent, isolated weirdo... It was a mistake befriending you." the girl said while stepping forward. "Not to mention all those sick fantasies you imagined about raping me. You are even worse than those you deem unworthy to be in 'your' Equestria."

"I am disgusting! But... but I would never harm you!" Sirius said while stepping further back. Her words stung his heart. However, they were true. He often imagined having sex with her or forcing her to be with him. He imagined the two being alone on an island, locked in a room, locked in a house. It would force her to do whatever he wanted, and it included sex. None of his fantasies ever came to reality, especially since he realized they were sick and disgusting.

He remembered how he punched himself in the face before grabbing a knife and cutting his right arm deeply. He twisted the knife and screamed in pain as it tore his skin and flesh. It left a deep scar with jagged edges.

He did it once his love wasn't returned. He realized how much of a monster he would be to Anastasia if the two ever were together. Another event later in his life solidified his self-hatred.

"You already harmed me in more ways than you can count." Anastasia told him, her voice sounding defeated and yet angry. "You never keep your words, Stanislav. You said sorry so many times and yet you never cease to violate me. You ripped me from my family and friends! All of them are better than you and now I'm stuck with you. You will use me. I am defenseless and confused. I have nothing, you have everything. You will make me do anything so that your perverse urges could be satisfied."

"Nastya, I... No, I won't! I always wanted to say sorry but I felt the words would never be enough!" Sirius pleaded, tears streaming down his eyes. "I'm sorry for everything! Please, I truly am!"

"You never are." Anastasia raised the sword and swung it and him. He dodged backwards and almost fell. "It's time you pay for everything you've done."

"P-please! I... I am a bad person, but I can change!" Sirius cried out in spiritual pain. "I want to be better! I don't want to be a monster, but... No, it's my own fault! I, I should've never been born... I have disappointed you, my friends my family... I became a monster."

"You were always one." the girl swung the sword again, but this time Sirius blocked the hit. He didn't want to fight back.

"I..." he tried to argue but... there was nothing to argue about. He was a monster. He stalked her, he killed others, he injured many. He was nothing more than a hateful beast in the cage of his own making. Those who enter were devoured and deflowered, their defiled corpses thrown aside and left to rot.

He dropped the sword. He wasn't going to fight her. He must get what he deserved — pain.

"Do anything." he said quietly as he hung his head in shame. "I deserve it. I just wish..." he sighed. "I just wish I was different. I wish I could change, I wish I wasn't... disgusting. But... It's too late now."

He awaited the hit. He accepted that he deserved to be killed or tortured. He was always a monster.

The hit never came. After a few moments, he raised his head. Anastasia was standing still, her eyes focused on him. Those hazel eyes of hers were filled with sadness and... compassion.

"I'm sorry." Sirius repeated. "You should've kept me away from yourself. I—"

The girl put a finger on his lips, silencing him.

"Whatever you have to say, say it to the real me." she said, and then Sirius woke up.

He was still on the train to Canterlot. It almost arrived but it was still a few minutes before it. At his side, Anastasia sat as she gazed out of the window.

Sirius sighed quietly. Again, his decisions proved to be bad. He was certain he had already alienated her a lot. He didn't even try to understand her position, he didn't sympathize her at all. Where was his love for her, where was the care? She had helped him get through life, she was there for him when he needed her, and even after he hurt her she kept coming back to show compassion. However, one day it all ended. She was sick of him. She didn't want to see him any longer, and he? He didn't blame her in the slightest. His own misdeeds and wrongdoings caused it to happen in the first place.

He knew she would never love him. However, he hoped she would be a friend, just as she herself once wanted. Maybe it would work, maybe not. All in all, Anastasia had her own life. She could do whatever she pleased and Sirius couldn't tell her otherwise.

Soon, the train arrived at Canterlot. Anastasia turned to Sirius to wake him up but he was already awake. So, the two disembarked the train and went to the mansion.

"This city is beautiful." Anastasia commented as they walked through the streets of Equestrian capital. "Colorful, too!"

"It is." Sirius nodded. He could admit that the city was nice. The streets were always clear of rubbish and no one ever threw it on the ground anyway. All in all, the city was indeed beautiful. "I live in this city now. I... enjoy it." he added. He wasn't sure if he enjoyed living at all but he did like the place, at the very least.

"Where have you been all those years? Were you traveling between worlds?" the girl asked with interest.

"No." Sirius shook his head. "There were... other things to do. I didn't even know there was another world this easy to find."

"How did you find it?"

Sirius' face darkened. He didn't know if he should lie or tell the truth. He didn't want her to feel bad about him, he didn't deserve her kindness and compassion, not after what he did to her.

"I... I will tell you once we're at my place." he said after some consideration. She would certainly hate him afterwards but he believed he deserved it.

The two spent the rest of their journey to Sirius' mansion in silence. He was focused on the road and ponies around him while Anastasia was interested in practically everything. It was all new to her, after all. She was fascinated by the city so much that the depressing thoughts of never being able to return home disappeared for some time.

Sirius didn't know if there was a way back to the Earth. He would let Anastasia return if she found the exit but he wanted her to stay. Many bad things could happen to her back on Earth. With him, she would be safe. Maybe. Unless he did anything to her which he hoped he wouldn't.

Soon, they finally reached the mansion. Sirius opened the gate and the two walked inside the territory.

"Whoa, you live here?" Anastasia asked, surprised to see him living in such a spacious place.

"It was a... reward for what I did." Sirius explained. "It doesn't compensate for my leg, however." he added with a hint of sadness and anger. Before Anastasia could ask anything, the gardener appeared.

"Good day, Sirius!" Flora greeted him. "My, are you starting a herd? This filly with you looks lovely!"

"No. It's my friend from aboard." Sirius explained. "We... don't have that relationship. She can't talk Commonlang yet and I'm going to teach her."

"Oh, alright. Do you two need anything?"

"No, thanks." he shook his head. "I will sort everything out."

"Alright, then. Have a good day!" the elderly mare said and returned to tending to her plants. The new red plant she discovered was still in a bad condition and she needed to fix it.

"Um... Who was she?" Anastasia asked.

"She's a gardener." Sirius replied while leading her into the mansion. "She lives nearby and tends to plants around the place. She's... nice. I can see you two getting along well."

They walked into the mansion. After the doors closed behind them, Sirius stopped. He desperately needed to get something off his chest, no matter what consequences it might bring.

"Nastya... I have to tell you something." he turned to the girl. "I am sorry for many bad things I've done to you. I..."

He proceeded to explain just how much he had hurt her in the past and why he couldn't see it. He told her about stalking her, monitoring her, and he openly admitted to being obsessed with her. He stuttered often, his eyes were averted from her face — he feared her reaction. Nevertheless, he didn't stop until he told her everything.

"...I would understand if you don't want to deal with me anymore." Sirius finished, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. He knew it was all his fault but it didn't make the sadness go away. "I just wanted you to know what I've previously done. I'm sorry."

Anastasia was struck by his honesty. Not many people could openly admit their misdeeds and ask for forgiveness. She already suspected him being obsessed with her but she never knew to which extent. After she found out... Nothing changed. She wasn't going to love him but she didn't want to abandon him either. He had redeemed himself to her by being honest about his feelings towards her. But it didn't mean she felt less weird after this. All in all, she might become comfortable around him if the two stayed friends and nothing more.

"I... I see." she said. "St— Sirius, I accept your apologies. We'll not be lovers but we can be friends. Maybe..." she trailed off.

Truthfully, she didn't know what to do about it. It was just weird and... surreal in a way. She had gone from human to equine, saw her long-gone friend. It made her feel dizzy.

"I... I think I need to rest." Anastasia said after a sigh.

"No problem, there's a comfortable sofa here." Sirius nodded and then led her to the living room. He fumbled with the sofa and discovered that it could be unfolded to become a bed. "Here it is. If you want to bathe, there's a bathroom upstairs. Call me if you need anything."

Without a word spoken, Anastasia got into the bed and turned away from Sirius. She just needed some rest before she would be able to do anything. She also didn't want to talk with him any longer, at least at that moment.

Meanwhile, Sirius decided to check on Iclyn. He knew he needed to tell her about the new pony in the mansion. He sighed wearily — the day was a mess. All he wanted to do was sleeping and resting. He felt very tired after everything that had happened in the past few hours.

So, he limped upstairs and entered the bedroom. Iclyn was reading a book on the bed. She lowered it as soon as he entered the room.

"Hi." she greeted Sirius. "You've been away for long. What happened?"

"I discovered that I'm not the only alien." Sirius explained slightly nervously. "I... met someone from my own world, someone I know. She is now downstairs. Living room, on sofa, resting. She can't speak Commonlang at all and she's tired. She's a nice person, and... She is the one I talked to you about."

"The one you loved?" Iclyn asked with interest.

"...Yes. Though, I don't love her anymore." the former human explained. "Her name is Anastasia. I, um, I guess you may call her Nastya for short. Just... make her feel welcome." he looked down. "I did some bad things to her in the past and I want to make amends."

"Don't worry, Sirius." the pegasus stood up from the bed and walked up to Sirius. "Now, I see you need some rest. There's... something in your eyes that tells me you really need it." she pecked him on the cheek, making his eyes go wide and a barely noticeable blush appear on his face. "Relax. I'll do my own stuff and then I will probably join you."

"...Alright." Sirius nodded after regaining his senses. "I need to take the shower first. I'll return in a minute."

He was indeed very tired. The appearance of Anastasia in his new life stirred up some bad memories he didn't want to be reminded of. But it helped him realize that there was a way to make things right. He just needed to make himself better, to become a nicer person, to try to understand others.

He remembered his time with Anastasia back when both were still humans. She was kind and supportive, and the two would often play and study together even when no one else wanted to even talk with Stas. In fact, she was his best and almost only friend. Later, the affection from the little boy grew, and from a simple friend, Anastasia developed into a love interest. Unfortunately, his love was unrequited and it made them grow distant. It fueled his depression that was going on ever since he had to move to another school. It all led to mistakes he did later, mistakes he deeply regretted.

He realized and intended to fix them in the best way he could. He had never properly thanked Anastasia for everything that she's done for him out of kindness and compassion. He finally understood that she needed to be treated better. He had hurt her a lot in the past and even recently. He would work hard on making amends. He got the chance to fix some of his past and he didn't want to waste it.

However, he couldn't get it out of his mind that her appearance couldn't be a simple coincidence.

Author's Notes:

While still being very misanthropic, Sirius can realize his wrongdoings and learn from his mistakes. He's not a good person but he's not completely bad or evil either. I've read about a lot of peope with mental issues, and some of them were serial killers or other extremely antisocial kinds of people that share some traits with the protagonist.

Their psychological issues that drove them towards comitting crimes came from either bad parenting (most issues) or incidents that happened during the childhood, including teen years. It could be anything from physical to psychological torture, including simple bullying, extreme bullying with rape and torture. It is a piece of information to think about.

While no issues justify murders of innocents or worse crimes, Sirius has never murdered any innocents or committed rape or torture on random people. In fact, he had never raped anyone at all and he despises such an act. Though, he had still fantasized about it without realizing it was bad. Thankfully, he managed to understand it in time.

In the end, he wants to always be able to defend himself but he also wants someone to do nice things to. A soul-mate, that is. Someone who'd be able to understand him and support him.

What do you think about his future relationship with both Iclyn and Anastasia? They are important to his recovery and possibly having a more or less normal life.

Chapter 56: Learning From Mistakes

As the night came, Anastasia couldn't find rest. She was ripped from her world and thrown away from everyone she liked. Friends, family, all disappeared within just a few seconds. With zero chances to return home, she could only lament the loss of everything she had ever had.

While there was Sirius, Anastasia didn't like how much he had changed. He became even more weird than before. Even after he revealed what was inside him all that time, the girl was weirded out by it. Among her friends, there was no one even remotely like Sirius. She finally saw how obsessed he was with her and she didn't know how to respond to that. It was very odd.

She felt like all of it just wasn't real. The new world, the change of body, Stanislav returning with a strange name-change, magic, intelligent equines, everything was so unusual she felt like her brain was going to explode from the surreality of it all.

Sighing, she stood up from the bed. She needed to take a walk to clear her head. It was the least she could do to at least try to feel better. She was way too unhappy about the situation she was thrust in. A new world sounded nice but she had people she liked. What would her parents think? What would her friends think?

Slowly, the girl walked through the mansion to the exit. Once outside, she breathed in deeply, the cool nightly air refreshing her. She decided to stretch her muscles a bit and take a walk around the territory.

The first thing she noticed was the garden. A couple of beautiful and unusual flowers were blooming in the night, glowing a subtle neon-blue color. Anastasia walked to those flowers and sat down, enjoying their pleasing glow.

What would she do in the new world? She didn't have a job, she had only recently graduated the school. She used to be a good sportsperson in riding but it obviously wouldn't work in Equestria. She could also swim quite well but it was clear why she couldn't use it either. All in all, she had absolutely nothing save for a few items that didn't mean much anyway.

Anastasia sighed wearily. She didn't know if she would ever find something to do. Maybe there was a way to return home? But she didn't wan't to leave Sirius behind. Something was obviously wrong with him, something that made him... strange, angry, even hateful.

"...I don't hate you as much as others." his words were. What did they mean?

She couldn't understand it yet. A lot had changed since she separated from Stanislav. He had changed and even adopted a new name. Why? There wasn't anything wrong with the name he had previously had. But... There were things that were wrong with him.

Everything was so strange to Anastasia, so different and unfamiliar. She wasn't sure if she would ever adjust to it.

Sirius had a weird dream that night. As soon as he woke up he almost immediately forgot it. Was it important? He didn't know and didn't care. He felt like a wrung out rag. Even the sleep didn't ease his mind and he woke up just as tired.

He opened his eyes and saw that it was very early in the morning. The sun hadn't risen yet but there was light coming from the outside through the window. He looked to his side and saw Iclyn snuggling close to him.

The former human still didn't know what to think about his relationship with her. She loved him for reasons he couldn't quite understand, she was even willing to be very close to him. She even kissed him.

It felt weird. He had never experienced any kind of kiss before. No one was attracted to him during his school years, and he? He hadn't given any kisses either. He wanted to, he even tried to, but it just didn't work. He lacked courage at the very least. He thought it might change once he confessed his feelings to the one he loved but it didn't turn out well.

He remembered that day as if it had happened just a day ago. It was winter, he was in eighth grade. He was fourteen, and he was finally ready to confess his true feelings for Anastasia that grew during the two years they were friends.

He was dressed as usual: black winter pants, black shirt with a warm dark-blue jacket on top of it, and a pair of winter boots. He held a precious bouquet of flowers with his gloved hands as he made his way to Anastasia's house. His heart was fluttering and there was a spring in his step. He would often breathe on the package the flowers were in to make sure they were perfect.

Soon, he reached his destination. It was a simply one-storeyed house. He stepped on the porch and knocked the door a few times. Soon, it opened, revealing a girl roughly his age. It was Anastasia, his love.

"Oh, hi Stas." she greeted him. "I didn't expect you to be here."

"I have a surprise for you, Nastya." he replied slightly nervously as an uncontrollable blush creeped onto his cheeks. He unwrapped the gift before her eyes. It was a set of three white roses — her favorites. "I... I just wanted to say, um..." he stuttered as he gathered up courage. "Nastya, I, I..." he extended his arm with the flowers. "I love you." he said in one breath.

"..." the girl blushed slightly as she heard the three words. However, she was just surprised. She stepped aside and said: "Come in. I think you need to get warm."

Stanislav nodded happily and yet shyly, and then entered the house. He was slightly sad that she didn't take the flowers but he was sure she just needed a vase or something since she disappeared somewhere further inside the house.

Stanislav took off his jacket and hung it, and then proceeded to take off his winter boots and place them near the exit to dry from the snow that sticked to them during the walk to his beloved.

Then, he waited for her to invite him further, his heart aflame with love. It was it, his moment of confession. He could barely wait for Anastasia to return and talk to him. To his relief, the girl appeared at the doorway pretty soon.

"I prepared some tea, if you don't mind." she said with a slightly awkward smile on her face. He smiled back and followed her with a happy spring in his step.

The two took seats at the table opposite to each-other. Sirius warmed his hands against the cup of tea. The flowers he had brought he placed on the table he and his beloved were sitting at. Everything was peaceful and comforting, just like Sirius wanted it to be. However, a creeping feeling of something being wrong nagged him.

Soon, the two sipped their tea in a strange silence. While Anastasia was nervous, Stanislav was beaming with happiness, often glancing at the girl with love in his eyes. She was his, all his, and there was nothing between them. She hadn't yet said those three words, but Sirius felt the love already. He basked in its warmth, enjoying her presence. Finally, that moment had come, he confessed his feelings to his special person, the one who was by his side, the one who protected him, the one he inevitably had fallen in love with. He was sure she would return the feelings.

After the girl finished her own cup, she looked at Stas and called him. He looked at her, hope in his dark-green eyes. They were wide, taking in as much of the girl as they could as love bloomed inside him.

"I wanted to say to you..." Anastasia said, trying not to look into his loving eyes. "I... I'm sorry, but I don't love you."

Stanislav's heart skipped a beat as his face immediately darkened.

"W-what?" he asked, stuttering. No, he couldn't believe it. The two were pretty close already, why didn't she love him? He wanted to do nice things to her, he wanted to be there for her all the time, and he would do anything for her. What was wrong?

"I'm sorry, but... We better remain friends, Stas." the girl sighed. "You're a really good friend but I, um, can't see us being a couple."

"...I understand." Stanislav replied in a dark voice. So, it was his fault. He hadn't done enough to earn her. He could've been better, nicer, more caring. He immediately remembered all those time he tried to push everyone away from Anastasia — he wanted her to be his and his alone. It wasn't right, he understood. It was time to go. So, he stood up from the table and said quickly: "I, uh, see you at...school." his voice trailed off at the end as he muffled the last word. He found it hard to speak as sadness overcame his mind.

Hastily, he made his way to the hall, forgetting the flowers as tears appeared in his eyes. He quickly put on his jacket and boots and then exited the house without saying anything.

After he returned home, he locked himself in his room and grabbed a knife. As he fought the urge to cry or yell in pain, he cut himself deeply in the hand. That cut stayed for the rest of his life, reminding him of his first big failure.

Sirius looked at his right hoof. As he expected, the scar was still visible even under a layer of fur. After all, all the scars he had gotten in his previous life went with him to his second one. He deserved all those scars, no matter how they appeared on his body.

"Sirius, is everything alright?" Iclyn asked aloud, snapping him out of his memories and dark thoughts. He didn't even notice himself sitting up and staring at the wall blankly.

"...Not everything." Sirius admitted. He sighed deeply. "Sometimes, I wish I was different. I made many mistakes."

"We all do mistakes, Sirius." the filly assured him as she put a wing over his shoulder. "We learn on mistakes. Do you still feel bad about making them?"

"Yes." the former human nodded.

"My mother once told me that mistakes are what make us who we are. Good or bad, normal or strange, it doesn't matter." Iclyn explained. "We can always improve ourselves after making a mistake. We can never be perfect, but that's how we live. Despite all of your negative sides, I love you with all my heart. You can admit your mistakes, and I am sure you can learn from them."

Sirius couldn't deny it. There was truth in her words. He could see his mistakes and maybe he could even fix them by not repeating them and making amends with those he mistreated.

Iclyn was right about him. He made a mistake and he understood it. Maybe it was time to let some of his past go?

Love wasn't disgusting. He forced himself to think that way after he failed at it and after his hatred for others grew immensely. He just didn't want to suffer because of love, he wanted to make himself forget it and throw it away as if it was nothing worth considering ever again. He remembered the awful things he fantasized about his love interest, and he was deeply ashamed of those fantasies and desires that kept him up at night as he did nothing but masturbate to his filthy imagination. Truly, his first love was more of an obsession because he felt it was his last. He saw that people younger and older than him were happy, and it struck him deeply.

He did wrong, he was jealous of others being successful in love and much better at it than him. He had seen many couples that were happy, and he didn't have a special someone to adore and love. He was all alone, all by himself for years and years after he was denied love. He felt abandoned and lost. Depressed, even. That kind of love couldn't be given by parents or friends, unfortunately.

But there was one thing he could try to do. He had a new life, a life full of opportunities. He could either stay and do nothing or he could make his own fate. It was time to act.

Sirius leaned to Iclyn and kissed her on the lips. Her eyes widened in surprise but she gave in and returned the kiss, making him feel appreciated and loved. He wanted to jump in joy as his heart filled with life. Iclyn had done many good things to him, it was no surprise he developed deep feelings of affection and adoration for her. She had been there for him ever since they became friends. However, it took only a few weeks for Sirius to develop feelings towards her. It felt strange, odd, but it was true.

Truthfully, she was a different species than him but he didn't care. No one could dictate him whom to love. He could make such decisions himself, and it was time to stop denying the truth.

He was still confused and depressed but he could try love as his medicine. He must let go of his old obsession and embrace new, better feelings. He knew how not to repeat a mistake and he intended to make his life better by accepting love and care.

Soon, the two separated after the long kiss. Sirius opened his eyes, and in them there was a feeling he had suppressed for quite some time — immense love. He finally understood that he could love and he wasn't going to waste the chance to start a page of his life over.

"I must confess, Iclyn..." he breathed in deeply. "I love you, too."

Author's Notes:

That is how the appearance of one person can change everything. Eye to eye, Sirius met with Anastasia and finally let go. He stopped suppressing his feelings for Iclyn and let them flow freely. It was time to try something new, something that can make him become a better person.

After all, what is better than love?

Chapter 57: Problems

After Sirius' confession of love, he and Iclyn were gazing in each-other's eyes as their hearts burned with love, his more so than hers. It was not an obsession but he felt the need to love and be loved in return. He hadn't experienced even the simplest form of affection in a very long time, and it created an empty space in his heart begging to be filled.

The two kissed again, and Iclyn carefully guided him back to bed. His body tensed and the two pulled away.

"Iclyn, I... I want to take it slow." the former human said nervously. "I just..." he stopped. He understood he was suppressing his love again. No, he didn't want to repeat mistakes. His expression changed and it didn't go unnoticed for Iclyn.

"Sirius?" she called for him.

"Forget I said those words." he replied and kissed her deeply, pushing her slightly into the bed as he wrapped his forelegs around her in a loving embrace.

The two rolled, and Sirius found himself underneath Iclyn. He blushed slightly, and then went in for another kiss — he couldn't get enough of physical affection he was finally experiencing for the first time. It felt nice, it felt good, it felt right. He couldn't compare it to anything else he had ever felt before.

But it made him happy. A genuine smile appeared on his face. Gone was the expressionless mask or the angry snarl. He could trust Iclyn completely.

Finally, they parted and just gazed in each-other's eyes, content with what had happened between them.

However, Sirius didn't know if he wanted to make a step forward in the relationship. What if he hurt her physically? Besides, did she want him to make love to her?

"Sirius..." Iclyn spoke quietly. "I want to make love with you. Do you want it?"

His face immediately darkened as sadness creeped onto it. He had another secret he had kept from others. It pained him to the core, and if not for an unfortunate event he experienced he wouldn't hold back in love.

"Iclyn, I..." he began nervously as he gathered up the courage to tell her. "You and I... We won't ever have foals. I'm... sterile." he admitted. His ears folded as he averted his eyes from her. If something were different, he wouldn't have that permanent problem.

Ringing silence reigned in the bedroom. Sirius couldn't say anything, Iclyn couldn't utter a word. This revelation right after confession left her shocked.

"I also... Don't think I can have sex." Sirius added quietly. "It just... hurts."

"Maybe there is a way to help you?" Iclyn suggested. "I, I think we can ask the princesses. I'm sure they can help you."

"...I don't know." the former human said. He didn't trust the princesses at all. What if they messed something up? "I... don't want to see Celestia nor Luna."

"Then we can visit Mi Amore Cadenza." the pegasus said. "She's the princess of love. From what I've heard, she loves helping ponies with love."

"...Maybe it's right to go to her." Sirius said with uncertainty. Then, after some consideration, his mind came to a conclusion — it must be done not for him but for Iclyn. "I... I think I can try. Just be with me, alright?"

"Don't worry, Sirius." Iclyn pecked him on the lips. "I will be by your side."

Sirius nodded, and then the two stood up from the bed and walked outside.

"Maybe you should strap to the wheelchair." the pegasus added. "I think it would be better if your leg rested."

The former human nodded without arguing. After all, Iclyn was right about it. As much as Sirius hated the wheelchair cart, he still needed it.

After everything was ready, Sirius and Iclyn went downstairs. There they encountered Anastasia as she chewed on an apple. She didn't look particularly happy or even energetic: her mane was a mess, her eyes were slightly bloodshot, and her overall expression showed fatigue.

Without hesitation, Iclyn went to greet the new pony in the mansion. She didn't hold anything against Nastya even knowing that Sirius had loved her.

"Hello, Nastya!" Iclyn said, extending her hoof for a bump. She had a smile on her face as she tried to cheer the newcomer up.

"...Hi." Anastasia said, and then awkwardly put her hoof on Iclyn's.

"Iclyn." the pegasus gestured at herself.

"Uh-huh." the girl nodded and then put her own hoof down. The introduction was very awkward, to say the least. Then she turned to Sirius: "Sta— Sirius... Um, who is she?"

"She's the one who helped me a lot." Sirius replied. "I love her."

Anastasia felt a tinge of jealousy and sadness. While she knew she would never love him in that special way, she saw Iclyn as someone Sirius used to replace her with. Did he even care about her any longer? He expressed that he could be friends with her but was it true? It seemed like Nastya was absolutely alone in the new world.

Sirius noticed the change in her expression. He could feel that she wasn't feeling good at all. Unfortunately, he didn't know what to do.

"Um... We'll return soon." he said. "Feel free to explore the mansion. Once I return, I think it would be right for you if I teach you."

"Uh, sure." the girl nodded. "Have a... good day. I'll just do... something." she sighed deeply.

Sirius really didn't know what to do. He needed to fix his problems but he could clearly see that Anastasia had rising issues that reflected on her mood. He remembered her being much more cheerful and full of energy. He couldn't imagine the transportation to the new world having such an effect on her.

He also noticed something — he forgot to take any weapon with him. Immediately, he turned around.

"What's the problem?" Iclyn asked him.

"I forgot the weapons." Sirius replied as he made his way back to the stairs.

"I don't think you really need them." the filly said.

"Someday, maybe. But I want to be able to defend you and myself." he explained as he went up the stairs. "I need them."

"I... I understand." Iclyn nodded. "But I hope you won't need them someday."

"I hope, too." he said as he disappeared on the second floor. Soon, he returned with his longsword and the pouch strapped to his body. He left his old sword and the greatsword in the bedroom — two weapons would be enough already. "Let's go."

It didn't take them long to arrive at the place the princess of love was at. Contrary to what Sirius expected, she didn't live in the castle but in a mansion like his. It surprised him quite a lot — he didn't expect a princess to live in what one could consider not worthy of royalty. However, it was a pleasant surprise. Remaining modest while being rich and powerful was never something seen often.

Sirius was quite nervous about it, truth be told. What if something went wrong? What if Mi Amore Cadenza decided to be too intrusive as well?

Surprisingly, the gates before him and Iclyn opened after a few moments of them standing there. The filly gently nudged him forward since he was stuck in place. After they entered, the gates behind them closed. There was only one road ahead of them and it led straight to the main building. Its doors opened, and the princess of love stepped out to greet her guests. Unlike the first occasion Sirius saw her at, she wore no regal regalia.

"Good day, young ponies!" she greeted the two as they made their way to the mansion. "I sense that you have a problem I can help you with. Come inside, we'll be able to talk there over a few cups of nice tea and some cookies."

Sirius could do nothing but nod. So far, it was all good. Definitely better than he expected.

As he entered the mansion, he saw that it wasn't filled to the brim with unnecessary elaborate decorations. In fact, everything was simple and yet beautiful in its own way. While there were different shades of pink and purple, they were used in moderation and fitted the overall style.

The princess guided them to the living room where a small table already stood. True to Cadance's words, three cups of steaming hot tea were placed on the table along with a bowl of brown cookies with chocolate chips. It all looked very homely and welcoming.

"Take a seat, please." the alicorn invited them, and soon everyone took their places. "Enjoy the tea and cookies. When you are ready to talk, so will I."

"I think we, um, can talk right now." Sirius said.

"Alright. What is the issue, then?"

"Well, your majesty..."

"There's no need to use the title. You're in my house as a guest. You may call me Cadance." the alicorn smiled warmly at Sirius.

She remembered seeing him at the wedding. She remembered him fighting Chrysalis and almost dying while doing so. She saw that he did it to protect the one he loved — Iclyn. Cadance was happy that the two became lovers. At the wedding, she felt Sirius' love. It was suppressed, hidden, shunned, and ashamed of. But right then, she could feel free love radiating from him.

"Um... T-there is a problem, but..." Sirius stuttered. "It's not about the two of us but, uh, just me. It is... I'm sterile. I can't have foals, and it's painful for me to, um..."

"I see." Cadance nodded. She saw how hard it was for him to speak about his issue even in the presence of the one he loved. "Was it always like that?"

"No, it wasn't." Sirius shook his head slightly. "I just... hit my, uh, stuff really hard. On accident."

Cadance saw that he was lying but she didn't want to press the issue. He didn't came to her to talk about his past and she respected his privacy.

"There is a way to help you." Cadance said. "It would require certain spells, and the whole process would take about an hour."

"Whatever it takes." Sirius nodded. He didn't care how long it would take, he just wanted himself to be sexually functional again. He didn't want to be a cripple that couldn't even please the one he loved or give her foals. While he was sure he didn't want foals since he was certain he'd not be a good father, at the very least the ability to please would be good.

Meanwhile, Anastasia was roaming the mansion. She didn't know what to do so she walked around without a clear goal in mind. She just didn't have anything to do and roaming was the only option. She didn't want to sleep or eat at that time.

Frankly, the only thing she wanted was to return home to her family and friends. However, it was unlikely that it would ever happen. The new world she had appeared in replaced her old one.

She wasn't sure she liked that change. Sure, the world seemed nice and better in a way but it just wasn't right for her. She would better be with those he knew at home than being all alone even in the most perfect world there was.

She sighed deeply and then went into the mansion's bedroom. She didn't know why she wanted to go there but she just did. Inside, she found a couple of swords. The first one was the longsword she had brought with her. The second one was much more interesting since she hadn't seen it before. It even had a beautiful sheath to be stored in.

Other than that, there wasn't anything interesting in the room. However, something made her feel slightly uncomfortable. Something in the very air wasn't right but she couldn't figure out what. It was a heavy feeling, the one that always appears right before something terrible happens.

Anastasia quickly exited the room and closed the door behind her. She dashed downstairs and then went outside the mansion.

She breathed deeply as soon as she appeared near the garden. Everything was way too silent in the mansion. It was far too empty for something so spacious and big. It pressed on her, made her feel threatened.

Once outside, she immediately felt better. The heavy feeling was gone.

She sighed. She thought that spending time outside wouldn't be that bad at all. She just needed some fresh air and flowers to smell. Not to mention sounds of wind, some birds, and distant ponies talking in the streets. In truth, Anastasia was always slightly claustrophobic, especially when alone. She always needed something to replace the silence, to fill in the blank. She couldn't stand hearing nothing.

Anastasia wished she could talk with her parents or friends. She didn't know the local language yet, making her impossible to talk to. Without anyone to chat with, she felt lonely.

She could only hope that Sirius would return soon and provide her some company.

Author's Notes:

How do you feel about the new cover art? It was done by one of the readers — JamesA. I believe that his work is pretty good and reflects the story well.

So, what do you think will happen next with Sirius, Iclyn, and Anastasia?

Chapter 58: Personal Issues

Sirius had to go through a long process of restoring his reproduction capabilities. The sensation the spells gave him was uncomfortable at best as a lot of what was inside him and depended on his ability to procreate needed to be fixed. There was both damage to nervous system as well as tissue. Due to a lot of stress as well as physical harm done to his body, the process of rebuilding and healing was even more uncomfortable than it was expected at first. It had to be longer as well, unnerving Sirius to no end. Gladly, Iclyn was by his side and held his hoof with her own and nuzzled him from time to time, making him feel better.

Fortunately, everything was done successfully. Sirius felt much better than before, especially in his lower, more sensitive region. He was used to feeling pain in his crotch almost all the time and feeling it finally gone was a huge relief he couldn't describe with words. Even his mood improved.

So, he and Iclyn went home after the whole ordeal was over.

"How do you feel?" the pegasus filly asked him.

"Much better." Sirius admitted. "I don't feel pain, I don't feel discomfort. I... I grew accustomed to feeling both, and now... I'm glad it's gone." he looked down. He was still unsure about being very close to Iclyn.

"Sirius..." Iclyn looked at him. She saw that he was hiding something else regarding the situation. "You can tell me anything, you know?"

"...Not here." he replied quietly. "Alright?"

"I understand." she nodded. "Let's go home."

As the two returned to the mansion, Sirius immediately spotted Anastasia as she sat by the garden. Her face was turned away from him but her posture told him she wasn't in the best of moods.

In truth, Sirius was torn. There was his friend that needed help but there was Iclyn that needed love. Anastasia was lost in the new world, completely alone. Her friend had changed a lot since the last time they talked, and nothing else was even remotely familiar.

"Iclyn..." Sirius turned to the pegasus. "I... I need to help Nastya. I am the reason she's here and she can't return home. I must teach her language, at least."

"I understand." Iclyn nodded. She held nothing against the girl since she viewed her as she viewed Sirius: alone and scared. Both needed help in their own ways. "If you need me, I'll be in the bedroom."

Sirius replied with a nod and went to Anastasia. She hadn't moved at all even after the gates closed with an audible click. As Sirius approached, her ears swiveled in his direction. And yet, she didn't move.

"Nastya..." Sirius called her softly. "Are you ready to learn the language? As promised, I'm here." he said. He had made many promises in his life to her, some of which he had broken. He didn't want to repeat it.

For a few seconds, the girl was silent. Then, she stood up and nodded. She thought that keeping herself busy would be good for her.

Sirius led her to the mansion. Inside, the two made their way upstairs and into the study. Sirius searched for a dictionary to help him with teaching the language. He was never a good teacher but he was sure he could at least try to help Nastya learn. Although, there still were many issues with her presence. He thought that she would need to go to school with him and study there as well as socialize. Everything would be better if she befriended someone. He could clearly see she was suffering from loneliness.

So, Sirius grabbed a piece of paper and a pen to write some basic English to Commonlang translations Anastasia needed to learn to be able to communicate. Thankfully, Commonlang was a rather simple language without unnecessary complications. It didn't have gender nouns or too many different tenses to remember. Such simplicity made it very easy to learn and use without any misunderstandings.

The studying session the two were having reminded Sirius of old times. They would stay either at his or her house and study together, helping each-other out if needed. Then, they would play some video games together. It had been a peaceful time that Sirius enjoyed greatly.

After an hour of studying, Sirius and Anastasia decided to grab a bite, and so they went into the kitchen to look for food. As he looked into the fridge, he finally remembered a very important thing — there was no meat. He needed meat for protein according to the prescription he received.

There was a dillema. He didn't want to leave Anastasia all alone again but he still needed meat. After telling his friend about the problem, he decided to ask Flora for help.

So, he went outside and searched for the elderly mare. She was in the back of the mansion tending to plants inside a greenhouse.

"Um, Flora?" Sirius called her.

"Yes, what is it?" the gardener replied as she exited the greenhouse.

"I need to ask you to do something for me." the former human said. "I need something specific from a griffon shop." he was slightly uncomfortable with telling her about his tastes. "Doctors prescribed me meat because of my, uh, body condition."

"There's no problem, don't worry." Flora replied softly. "Some ponies are different in their eating habits or needs. So, what do I need to get?"

"Just say you're from me. They know me and what I need." Sirius replied. "And... thank you."

"Alright, I'll return soon with the food." the mare nodded.

Sirius was relieved. He didn't have to go anywhere by himself and could spend more time with his friend. He wanted to make her feel better about the new world, after all.

So, he returned to her shortly and then the two studied for another hour after a snack break. Anastasia made some progress in learning indeed. As little as it was, she still learned pretty well. Sirius remembered her having excellent grades in almost all subjects back at his second school, and he had no doubts that she would learn the new language just as quickly as he did of not better. After all, she was rather smart, certainly on par with him if not higher.

Once Anastasia voiced her desire to rest, Sirius left her and went to Iclyn. He knew she was waiting for him and he expected her to invite him to bed for certain activities.

In truth, he was anxious about it. What if she didn't like him? What if he did something wrong? There were many 'what if's that went through his head as he limped upstairs. He feared he wouldn't satisfy her but hurt her instead. He didn't even know if his size was sufficient. Overall, he was very nervous and scared of things going wrong because of him.

As he entered the bedroom, he was greeted by a peaceful sight of Iclyn lying on the bed casually and reading a book.

"Um... Here I am." Sirius said nervously as he walked up to the bed.

"Sirius, why are you so nervous?" Iclyn asked as she put the book away. She looked at him with worry.

"I... I can't really explain." he sighed, sitting down at the edge of the bed. "You know why we went to Cadance, so... Do you want me?"

"I do." Iclyn nodded. "You're a handsome colt, really."

"Um... I've never, uh done anything that, um... close." the former human said as he looked down. "I don't think, um, you'll like it."

"Why?" the pegasus asked. "We're both virgins, so? Sirius, your lack of experience doesn't make anything worse."

"But what if I hurt you? What if you're uncomfortable? Wha—" his words were cut off as Iclyn placed a hoof on his lips.

"Then we'll get through it and figure out how to make things better." she said softly.

"I don't know... I'm not ready yet." Sirius nervously shifted in place. "Not today, alright? I... I'll say when I'm, uh, ready."

"Take your time, we shouldn't rush it." Iclyn nodded. "When you're ready, I will be, too."

As the evening came, Princess Luna observed the dreamscape of early sleepers. What she found there surprised her quite a lot.

Among many doors of different ponies, a new one appeared. It was taller than others and looked a lot like another door she remembered. Indeed, it looked a lot like Sirius' but it was way calmer. The door was made of light wood, some unknown ornaments decorated it. Unlike the door to Sirius' dreams, this one was unlocked.

Out of curiosity, Luna peeked inside. There, a strange being was sitting in the middle of a dark room. The princess hadn't seen any beings like that before but she immediately figured out whoever was there had a connection to Sirius' native world.

Luna entered silently and closed the door behind her. As soon as other sounds disappeared, she became able to hear quiet cries and muffled sobs.

"Hello?" Luna said softly, and the being swiftly turned around and faced her. It was Anastasia. Her eyes were red from crying, her hair disheveled, and dark circles surrounded her eyes.

"Who are you?" she asked in confusion.

"I'm princess Luna, the guardian of dreams." the alicorn introduced herself. "And you?"

"I'm Anastasia." the girl replied while looking at the alicorn warily and cautiously. "Are you... real?"

"I am." Luna nodded. "I think I know who you are — you're from a different world."

"I guess I am..." Nastya sighed wearily. "I just... feel so lonely here. I was searching for a friend but ended up here, away from friends and family. Everything is so different here. Talking, um, ponies, magic... Princesses guarding dreams." she chuckled. "I found my friend but... he has become different. We... talked a bit, and now... He's just weird. I mean, he has always been strange in a certain way, but... I guess I just don't know what to do anymore..."

"Is Sirius your friend?" the princess asked. She already knew it but she needed confirmation. Besides, she knew that making assumptions could turn out badly for both sides.

"Um, yes." the girl looked up at her. "You... know him?"

"I doubt I know him as much as you do, Anastasia." Luna replied. "He appeared here some time ago and we aren't on good terms. Unfortunately, I've done a few mistakes at the beginning and now I feel he doesn't like me at all."

"Why? He... used to be nice." Anastasia asked. "Well, at least a few years ago. I've not talked with him for about two years or so."

"Your friend is a very troubled person." the princess explained. "I'm afraid he's been through some traumatic events even before he appeared here."

"I didn't know that." the girl frowned. "Well, he's never been a social person but..."

"The truth is, I want to help him. However, he doesn't let me." Luna said. It was her chance to redeem herself and actually help Sirius. "Maybe the two of us can figure it out and help him together. In turn, I'll search for a way back to your world so you may return there."

"I'd love to!" Anastasia smiled slightly. She would trade everything for her own family and friends. She would be very happy to return to them. "I... I don't know if you're real, your majesty, but I do want to go home! And... Sirius does feel off to me. I'm still his friend and I want to help him."

"Good." Luna nodded and smiled. "As soon as you wake up, you'll find a letter."

"I... can't really read in your language yet. I don't even know how we're talking right now." Anastasia replied.

"Oh... This is unfortunate. However, I'm sure Sirius is already giving you lessons, is he not?"

"Yeah, he's teaching me. I guess I do have to learn the language first." the girl said. "Thank you, princess. If you don't mind... we could talk from time to time. I feel so alone right now and it'll be nice to talk to someone. If I'm not a burden, that is."

Luna noticed how everything around Anastasia became brighter. The girl was looking at the princess with hope and some fear. The princess couldn't refuse her. She indeed wanted to help those who needed it, and Anastasia could use some company.

"Everything's alright, Anastasia." the princess said. "I'll leave a few times to look at others' dreams but I don't see any problem with talking to you."

Maybe Sirius' world wasn't too bad since someone as nice as Anastasia came to Equestria. She and him were friends, and Luna figured out something made Sirius see his world in much darker tones than what Anastasia saw. Maybe his old friend would help him become better and see good in things around him.

Overall, Luna was happy she'd be able to finally help him directly.

Author's Notes:

I want to hear what you have to say about Sirius' issue with sex. Let's see if you guess correctly, ladies and gentlemen.

Chapter 59: Back to School

The rest of the weekend passed peacefully with Anastasia learning the new language, Sirius strengthening his damaged leg, and Iclyn helping him to cope with his stress by being close to him and providing mental and physical comfort. She even did sparring with him to keep his training productive. As she discovered, he hadn't lost his reaction or anything else regarding the ability to successfully fight. The two practiced blocks, parrying, and riposting — three major things in fencing that were the basis for practically everything else.

As Sirius found out, Iclyn learned to fight reasonably well for her level of experience. She was nowhere near him but she was close to being average. He also noted that Iclyn became more fit as well due to all the training. Her steps were light and yet powerful, her stance was right, and she used both her weapons rather efficiently: a spear to keep the opponent at bay and a sword to deflect the hits that came her way. Overall, the daily trainings the two had were beneficial for both of them.

Anastasia tried to learn magic as well but aside from creating some sparks with her horn, there wasn't anything else done at all. However, Sirius was sure she would be able to learn it soon enough. It came naturally just like moving and using hands. Actually, she could grasp things with her front hooves which was unusual and something Sirius had never used due to his early success in simple magic. Of course, the hooves weren't nearly as elegant or as precise as hands could be but having them was better than having nothing at all. Sirius couldn't quite understand how hooves were able to grab anything but he chalked it up to magic and moved on without overthinking it.

Anastasia was still uncomfortable with being nude but since there were no spare clothes to change into, she had to walk around without anything covering a single part of her body. It made her quite nervous but seeing that neither Sirius nor Iclyn minded it or said anything regarding it, Anastasia figured out that being nude wasn't too bad if everyone did it. She knew she would need to get used to it eventually if she planned or had to stay for longer.

As a new week started, Sirius decided it was time to return to the school and study properly. He couldn't concentrate well enough in the mansion. Any physical activity was better for him than sitting in complete silence and writing. He wasn't a procrastinator by any means but he preferred activity over sitting.

But first, he needed to know how comfortable would Anastasia be with joining him as well. He couldn't keep her in the mansion forever and besides, he had no right to do so. Going out and socializing would be better for her and Sirius knew it.

"Well, Princess Luna told me that she can help me with that." the girl replied. "I guess I can, um, look around the school first and see what it's like. It seems I'm staying here for a long time..."

Sirius' face darkened slightly. He understood that Luna was able to enter Nastya's dreams and talk to her. It seemed the princess wasn't interested in him that much anymore, so he decided to let it unfold. His friend needed help and who was he to tell her not to accept anything from Luna? It was her life and he had no control over it. Whatever memories of him Anastasia had mattered little as well. To her, he was just a simple boy with some anger issues and unsocial behavior. Sirius was sure Luna was smart enough to figure it out on her own.

"...Alright." he nodded. "Kids are much friendlier here than in our school, so it should be fine."

"I sure hope so." Anastasia said. "Um... how are you getting along with them?"

"They've not angered me aside from one incident. Other than that, they are... fine." Sirius explained. "Now, take everything you need and we'll be ready to go."

The girl nodded and proceeded to put on her backpack. It contained a few notebooks and a couple of pencils as well as her smartphone. Of course there wasn't any net to connect to but it still worked and was constantly being charged as long as its owner was nearby. It was quite interesting but there weren't many apps to use. All in all, the smartphone turned into a thin camera with little to no other use. It wasn't a big deal for Anastasia since she rarely used it for anything more than calls or taking pictures.

After everything was set and everyone was ready to go, the three ponies exited the mansion and went to school. Sirius carried his longsword just as he usually did, and his body was free of the wheelchair. He deemed himself able to walk without complications even while the limp in his gait was still noticeable. All in all, he hoped to use the wheelchair cart for target practice and then dump it for recycling or anything else — he couldn't care less about where that device would go.

The weather outside the mansion was slightly cold but not uncomfortably so: the sky was clouded and a soft wind was blowing. The autumn had come fully and a lot of fallen leaves could be seen flying through the streets of Canterlot. A few ponies were working by collecting the leaves and putting them into bags that would later be disposed of. Other than those ponies, everyone else was heading to their schools, universities or jobs. Quite a few ponies greeted Sirius as he went, still remembering the one who saved Equestria from an evil tyrant.

All Sirius was doing in response was politely nodding. He didn't want or need any fame for protection the one he loved. He was sure anyone would do the same in his situation unless they were completely self-centered. Sirius was mostly self-centered but retained his ability to care for a selected few. He also saw the bigger problem. If Equestria was conquered, it would bring chaos and unrest which would result in harm and death, maybe even more horrible things would happen. He had no way of knowing but frankly, he didn't want to know. He liked Equestria for what it was — a peaceful country that hadn't known serious crime for centuries. While some ponies weren't nice, there was nothing even remotely extreme. He would very like it to remain that way.

Soon, the three reached the school and entered it. Anastasia was quite nervous about it since she would meet Equestrian foals for the first time. She was also excited about it, too. She understood that being one of the first humans to ever interact with alien so closely was something to be proud of. She even thought about writing a book about it. Humans wouldn't believe it but something that didn't contain invasion or any kind of warfare would certainly be welcome among many readers.

Usually, aliens were portrayed either as monsters or as very human-like creatures. While ponies of Equestria resembled equines from Earth, they were still different in many ways. Anastasia couldn't imagine how many things she would be able to discover and see for herself, how many different sensations to experience. She knew she needed to return home but she would still like to see what other cultures looked like. Maybe there were more sapient beings than just ponies? It would be fantastical to see!

Anastasia was no writer but she was sure she would be able to express her thoughts and experiences on paper pretty clearly. After all, she was experiencing everything firsthand which would make writing fairly easy. As homesick as she was, she was also excited about the possibilities the transportation to the new world allowed.

However, there wasn't enough material for the book, not yet at least. She intended to listen and learn as well as observe the foreign, alien culture. She thought it would be very interesting.

"The first class is Math." Sirius explained to Anastasia. "Their system is a lot like ours. The only thing that is very different are symbols. You'll learn fairly quickly, trust me."

"I'll try." the girl nodded as she followed him to the classroom. "I'm more nervous about, um, meeting new people."

"It shouldn't be a big issue. Someone like you is easy to make friends with." Sirius smiled slightly. He remembered how she was the first one to approach him, a new kid in school. She was friendly and open to him, too. It was no surprised the two formed a bond fairly quickly.

Before the bell rang, Sirius informed the teacher about Anastasia. He said that she came from his country and she was searching for a school. He decided to show her this one. He also mentioned that she couldn't speak Commonlang at all but he would help her learn it. In the end, the teacher had nothing against having an extra filly in class as long as she didn't disrupt the lesson.

Sirius saw nothing wrong with the condition. He returned to his place and made sure Anastasia had something to sit on. So, she, himself, and Iclyn took their places with him being between the two girls and that was how the lesson began.

There wasn't much time before the bell rang and that was why Anastasia didn't get a chance to interact with ponies. Sirius' classmates showed a lot of interest in the newcomer and glanced at her fairly often. Anastasia was by no means an unsocial person but she felt the blush creeping onto her cheeks.

The lesson went without a hitch. Sirius kept his voice low as he explained the basics of Equestrian mathematics to his friend. She figured it out fairly quickly after a few hints from him and could follow up what was being written on the blackboard.

Sirius spotted someone he hadn't seen before, too. There was a new colt in class. He was a unicorn just like many other Canterlot foals. He had a dark-blue fur and green mane and tail. From Sirius perspective, neither the special mark nor the eyes could be seen. Who was that new pony? It wasn't the most interesting thing to discuss or even notice but Sirius never liked the changes of people present around him especially if they remained for a long time. That was why he was never a social type of person.

As the bell rang, Sirius and Anastasia went to unicorn Magic class while Iclyn went to her own.

"You'll soon be able to learn how to use your horn." Sirius said. "It shouldn't be too hard. Basic telekinesis is what all unicorns can do without any problems."

"Using magic would be very interesting." the girl nodded. "Maybe even fun! I've dreamed about the ability to fly... Can magic do that?"

"Yes, but not as well as wings." Sirius explained. "It's very hard to learn more advanced magic, too."

"Hey!" a voice sounded behind the colt. He turned around to see a familiar face making his way to him. It was Wave Rider. "Sirius, I've not seen you in ages!"

"Hello, Wave." Sirius greeted his acquaintance. He noticed that the new colt was close behind him. In comparison, that colt was bigger than Wave Rider.

"I just wanna introduce you to my brother—"

"I can say my name, thanks." the new colt pushed his brother aside, an act that Sirius didn't like much. "Name's Sweetwater." he extended his front hoof for a bump.

Sirius glanced at Wave Rider and noticed that he was slightly sad by what his brother did. Nevertheless, the former human bumped hooves with him while looking him in the eyes. He saw fake carelessness in those green eyes. He knew it was something to take note of.

"You made national headlines. Congrats." Sweetwater said. "You're tough colt." he glanced at the longsword. "Nice. Alright, time to go to class."

With that being said, he walked past Sirius. On his way, he used his tail to slightly slap Anastasia on her flank. It elicited a yelp from her as she jumped away from the sudden contact.

"You're cute." the colt said to her and then went down the hallway.

Sirius felt his anger growing. If anyone ever hurt Anastasia...

"Sirius, I'm sorry for my brother. He's... insensitive sometimes." Wave Rider explained. "He's new here and, um, he's having a hard time."

"Was he kicked from other schools?" Sirius asked, watching as Sweetwater disappeared around a corner.

"Um... yeah..." Wave nodded.

"I wonder why." Sirius replied sarcastically, and then proceeded into the classroom.

He felt like the new addition to the class wouldn't be his new friend.

Chapter 60: Bond

Everyone sat down and prepared for the class of Magic. Anastasia was the most nervous about it since she didn't know if she could do even the simplest things. She hoped she would be able to learn magic and use it but there were some doubts. Would she be able to do anything at all? Her body became much different and she still had some problems controlling it. Magic seemed complicated and difficult to learn. However, she was certain the investment of time and effort into it will pay off very soon.

As the lesson started, Anastasia immediately managed to lift up a whole notebook much to her surprise. She didn't know how she did it but it seemed like an invisible barrier was broken between her and the magic. It flowed into her like living energy, fueling her with something she couldn't describe. It was a sensation unlike any others, an euphoric feeling of having power and the means to control it. She felt empowered and immediately followed what others were doing.

Sirius was training on teleporting a small pebble. He's been developing teleportation skills but he needed much more practice before he would be able to teleport himself anywhere at all. Even a pebble was hard to control, he couldn't imagine how hard it would be to be able to instantaneously transport himself to other locations. He wanted to learn it for everyday and combat purposes. He could imagine the possibilities teleportation would give him in fights.

Unfortunately, his concentration wasn't finely tuned as his thoughts turned to Sweetwater, a new colt he had just recently met. Sirius didn't like how he treated his brother especially since Wave Rider was a rather small and shy colt. Sirius would never tolerate any sort of bullying and he could notice that Wave wasn't exactly too comfortable around his big brother. The former human didn't know much about either of them but suspected that the brothers didn't have a truly brotherly relationship. He didn't want to assume anything but it seemed like Sweetwater was likely to order his little brother around and make him do things he otherwise wouldn't.

Sirius frowned. Would he need to fight another bully? Would Wave Rider need him or ask for help at all? Family relationships were what Sirius didn't understand much. A lot of people were ready to protect their parents no matter how bad those parents were. Alcoholics, neglecters, drug abusers, just abusers, but somehow they still received love. Since the former human had no bad experience with his parents, he couldn't understand how one can love someone who hurts them and doesn't show any love in return. It was a concept Sirius would never understand or accept. He disliked or hated those that hurt him no matter who they used to be to him.

He decided to be watchful and observe Wave Rider and Sweetwater. Sirius suspected that abuse was taking place outside the school and he wanted to prevent it. Wave was no one to him but he knew how it was to be broken by others and he wished no such fate for anyone who didn't deserve it.

He knew that monsters were made, not born. He wanted to make sure no monsters would be made.

There were two classes of Magic total with History following them. Anastasia could do nothing but depend on Sirius to translate what the teacher was talking about. There was still a long way for her to learn the language. That lesson was about culture that existed before Luna's banishment and how said culture was affected by the disappearance of one of the royals. Sirius didn't find it particularly interesting.

As the lessons ended, Sirius, Anastasia, and Iclyn went to the cafeteria to grab a bite. All of them got a big tray of food each and sat down at one of the tables.

"So, how do you like the school so far?" Sirius asked Anastasia.

"A lot, actually." the girl replied as she put a spoonful of mashed potatoes inside her mouth. After swallowing it, she said: "There's not as much stuff to mandatorily learn and the breaks are pretty long." she ate another spoonful of potatoes. "The food's good, too! The classmates seem nice but I'll have to learn the language first before making friends. All in all, going back to school isn't that bad." she levitated a piece of carrot into her mouth. "Mhh... Magic's great! It feels weird but I think I can get used to it."

"You'll need to properly enter the school, then." Sirius said. "It shouldn't be a big issue. I'll help you as much as I can."

"Thanks, Sirius." Nastya smiled slightly. "You know, I begin to feel more comfortable here as time goes on. I will maybe visit this place once in a while if I'm able to do it after I return home."

"Does Princess Luna help you find the way to get back?" the former human asked, frowning slightly. He didn't know if he could trust Luna to help his friend. But still, he knew he couldn't control Nastya's every decision.

"Yes, she's working on it." the girl replied. "I can't wait to tell my friends what I've experienced!"

"Better not spread too much information, Nastya." Sirius advised. "A lot of people wouldn't accept aliens as warmly as you did."

"...I think you're right." Anastasia nodded, agreeing. "However, I'm sure my friends are trustworthy. Who wouldn't like to meet an alien and befriend them? These ponies are friendly and even cute."

Sirius was silent. In truth, ponies did look well. Lack of obesity among the population did well for them. There were many different ponies but the former human couldn't find any of them that he would call ugly. Even the old ponies looked well and certainly not overweight. He didn't know if it was genetics or culture but he was pleased with it.

As the three went back to the mansion, Sirius thought about his relationship with Iclyn. Frankly, he didn't really know what to do for her to show his appreciation for all that she did for him. He wanted to show his love and care but he didn't know how. He didn't feel like giving her expensive gifts would do anything even remotely significant or meaningful. She was with him certainly not because of his possessions. It could be said that Sirius would share anything he had. He wasn't attached to any of his belongings, he just needed some of them; nothing more and nothing less. He valued his relationships way more than anything else.

One can work hard and gain money. Money is to be spent sooner or later. Friendship and love can't be bought or sold. It was always like that for Sirius. He felt much more satisfaction when he knew someone liked him in one way or another. He felt he belonged when he was loved. It had been like that since he was born. At first, his parents showed him care and love. They taught him how to receive and give such feelings. It wasn't enough but it was good for that time. Sirius befriended other kids and showed his care for them. They had been in a number of dangerous situations, and Sirius never abandoned his friends no matter how hard the situation looked. The only time he had to leave them was when he had to move to another town.

It was the town where he met Anastasia. At first, it was her who showed care. He returned it and gave love. He wasn't good enough at it and could only remain friends, however. It still saddened him but he moved on. Anastasia was a great friend, after all.

Ever since he grew apart from her, he gave less and less care or even simple affection to anyone, his depression consuming him as time went on. After his mother died, he locked his feelings inside his mind, afraid to show them.

Everything changed when he met Iclyn. He was glad it happened indeed.

Soon, Sirius, Anastasia, and Iclyn reached the mansion. All of them went inside to relax from school and do something for reliefs. As for Sirius, he didn't know if he wanted to do anything at all. So, he went upstairs and into the bedroom. Once inside, he lay on the bed and relaxed. His damaged leg felt alright but he still felt some tiredness and fatigue in it. He definitely needed more exercises to make his leg better.

Iclyn joined him soon enough. She walked up to him and kissed him on the lips. It greatly surprised him and almost made him flinch. Reluctantly, he returned the kiss. It was rather awkward for him since he wasn't used to it at all.

"Sirius... How do you feel right now?" Iclyn asked him.

"I... Well, I thought about something." he replied nervously. "I, um, thought about our relationship, and... I just don't know what nice things I can do for you." he confessed. "I just don't know what to do in a relationship."

"You don't need to do anything other than show love in a way you can and want, Sirius." the filly replied, putting a hoof on his shoulder.

"But I want to do at least... something." he sighed.

"If you do, we can make love." Iclyn said.

It was plain and simple. However, Sirius was unsure about it. Even after all those words she had said to him a few days ago, his doubts still controlled him. They were rooted deeply inside him, hurting him, eating him alive. He needed to do something but he didn't know what.

"I... I don't know. You're twelve and I'm almost nineteen. Um, eighteen is my, uh, real age." Sirius replied, stuttering from nervousness.

"Do you think I'm a virgin goddess that shouldn't be touched until she's just the right age?" the pegasus filly raised a brow and looked Sirius in the eyes and then stated firmly: "I. Want. You. You're not committing any crime, Sirius. Heck, sometimes fillies younger than me have sex more often. Maybe your... people grow up differently, I don't know, but I'm perfectly fine with you doing sexy stuff with me."

Sirius could do nothing but nod. He couldn't deny her words. He could feel the desire to form a closer, much more intimate bond with the one he loved. A part of him begged him to finally let the love flow. In one act of bonding, he would gain something he always wished for — love and care. If only it wasn't that hard to let the past go and embrace the better and brighter future.

"Sirius," Iclyn called to him. "We can start and do whatever we're comfortable with and then move forward. I've not had sex before but I'm sure both of us will love every second of it no matter how awkward it might end up being. Sirius, please, trust me."

"I..." he still hesitated. Her words resonated inside his head and he indeed wanted to trust her. Iclyn saw how close he was to opening up to her, and so she leaned in and kissed him on the lips one more time.

"I love you, Sirius." she said, encouraging him. Then she lay close to him and kissed him again while wrapping her forelegs around him and putting him closer. She intended to show him a good time and share her emotions and love for him. The desire inside her burned and she wanted Sirius to know and embrace it.

Reluctantly, Sirius responded to it by putting his own forelegs around Iclyn. He did it softly and carefully, making sure she felt good. A blush appeared on his face as the filly didn't hesitate to pull him closer.

She opened her mouth and prodded Sirius' with her broad tongue. He shuddered in response to the strange action but opened his mouth. He forced his teeth to unclench and let Iclyn's tongue in. Immediately after it was done, she started exploring his mouth. Meanwhile, he rubbed his tongue against hers. This saliva exchange was certainly a weird experience for Sirius. He felt as his lover passed over his teeth including his fangs. She moaned into his mouth as Sirius started responding by extending his tongue and exploring her own mouth.

The two parted soon after and opened their eyes. Sirius averted his gaze from hers as he blushed madly. He didn't know if he was good enough, and the whole experience was very strange for him. It wasn't unpleasant, far from it, but it was simply unusual.

"How do you feel?" Iclyn asked him.

"...Good." he said. Then, he nervously fidgeted in place. He felt warmth in his crotch as he was getting erect. "Um... uh... what do we do, uh, now?"

"Just lie on your back and relax." the filly replied. She noticed how tense Sirius was and she felt she should take the lead and show him a good time. She hadn't had sex before but she was much less shy or insecure about it than he was.

The two changed their position and soon Iclyn was sitting on him as he lay on his back. He felt her body against him, he could even feel her pulse because of the closeness of their bodies. He felt the warmth against his skin as their bodies pressed together.

Sirius looked into Iclyn's eyes and saw love, care, and affection. She was smiling slightly, and it made him smile as well.

She leaned in and kissed him, and then ground her lower part of the body against his erection. The stimulation made Sirius moan in pleasure. Iclyn was already pretty aroused and relaxed, she just wished Sirius would be like that as well. He had been through a lot of stress and relaxation would work well for him.

Slowly, the tension in Sirius' body went away. He felt the pleasure, Iclyn was kissing him, and everything was going right. However, he was unsure about how well he would be able to deliver pleasure to his lover. He hadn't even seen his genitalia fully erect. What if it was too small or too big?

His thoughts were cut off as he felt something warm and wet press against his erection. He moaned and exhaled shakily as he felt pleasure down his body. He looked down and saw that he was fully erect, his penis sandwiched between his and Iclyn's bodies. Filly's love juices dropped onto his erect member and were rubbed as Iclyn moved her body against his.

"Sirius, are you ready?" she asked him as she brought herself up.

"I... I am." Sirius nodded and then used his magic to align his rod with Iclyn's wet opening. For a second, he stopped. "Uh, we don't have protection."

"You can get me pregnant only if I'm in heat, silly." Iclyn giggled. "Don't worry about anything, Sirius."

Without any warning, she brought herself down on him and the head of his penis disappeared inside her. Both of them moaned loudly in responce to the stimulation. Sirius felt the warm and wet tightness that encompassed the head of his rod. He didn't know what to do next. Should he push her down or should he wait?

Slowly, Iclyn continued lowering herself until Sirius' penis bumped against something that made her yelp in surprise.

"Is everything alright?" Sirius asked with worry.

"This is the worst part..." Iclyn said. "I'm alright. We'll just go right..." she brought her body down in one motion, and Sirius tore her hymen. "Ah!" Iclyn exclaimed as she felt what she had never felt before. Sirius was worried about it and prepared to pull out but she stopped him. "I'm alright... Just give me a moment to adjust. Gosh, you're rather thick!"

Sirius gulped and nodded. Everything around his shaft was tight. It was physically pleasing but he wanted Iclyn to feel good as well. He even used his magic to support her body to make it easier for her to be in her position.

"Alright, let's do it." Iclyn said and then slowly slid down Sirius' rod.

Both of them moaned as they felt immense pleasure from both psychological and physical sides of sex. Sirius felt free as if his shackles were finally broken. He was desired and loved, and there was a girl who was willing to be so vulnerably close to him.

Soon, Sirius bottomed out in Iclyn. The two kissed lovingly and passionately as they felt their bond strengthening on the spiritual level. Neither of them had ever felt anything even remotely as good as their lovemaking was before their final act in the bedroom. It was much more than simple affection for body, it was something much deeper and more meaningful than simple pleasure or lust.

Iclyn started establishing the rhythm by lifting herself up and then sliding down. Sirius tried to make it easier for her by supporting her with the magic and using his own body to thrust and pull. Their mouthes connected again and the two closed their eyes, enjoying each-other's presence and comfort. They didn't break their connection and continued kissing as they made love to each-other. It was the moment of passion both were longing for.

Sirius felt his edge growing closer with each passing second. Finally, he was able to feel it, to feel the ability to give pleasure to the one he so desperately loved. He was whom Iclyn desired. She wanted him and no one else.

"I'm... I'm..." he tried to tell Iclyn about his incoming orgasm but she silenced him by kissing him yet again. He didn't protest and instead focused his mind on delivering pleasure to his lover.

He thrusted inside her and felt the pressure in his testicles growing higher and higher. He held it as much as possible for Iclyn since he wanted to bring her to orgasm first. The pressure grew and became uncomfortable when finally Iclyn clenched around his shaft and cried out in pleasure as her orgasm finally came. Unable to hold himself any longer, Sirius released his seed inside her with a loud grunt. He hilted inside her and sent spurts after spurts of liquid love into her.

As they rode out their orgasms, Iclyn collapsed on top of Sirius. Both breathed heavily as they recovered from the first sex in their lives.

It was the best moment in Sirius' entire life. He created a long-lasting bond with the one he loved. It didn't matter that she was different, it didn't even matter that she was an alien. She greatly helped him cope with his inner problems by being supportive and caring for him. The bond they created was strong, stronger than any other Sirius had ever had.

He knew it wasn't the end or solution to all his problems but he realized it was a big step in that direction. He had been lost and alone so many times but he finally found someone to love and care for, and that significant other returned his feelings and made him feel accepted.

Finally, he felt like he belonged.

Author's Notes:

Fun fact — there are 69 paragraphs in this chapter.

Finally, Sirius embraced love completely and let himself enjoy it. Isn't it one of the greatest accomplishments?

Chapter 61: Memories and Changes

Anastasia heard everything Sirius and Iclyn were doing in the bedroom. The sound insulation wasn't very good as she found out. At first, there were strange noises that bothered her all the way downstairs. She got to the second floor to investigate and the result surprised her and made her blush. She even peeked inside the bedroom to see if her suspicions were correct. Thankfully, Sirius didn't notice her because Iclyn was entertaining him while being on top of him, also hiding Anastasia from his view. The girl quickly retreated downstairs.

She was surprised Sirius was that comfortable with his new body to do something so explicitly intimate. In fact, she was happy for him that he found a new love. Anastasia didn't love him but she always wished he would get a caring girl. She felt bad after rejecting him but she just didn't feel anything more than friendly affection towards him. She couldn't see how their loving relationship would work in any way. Unfortunately, her decision led to the two growing apart and him becoming sad and then angry. She had no idea what he felt after it but she remembered a sad look on his face as he left her on that day. He grew less and less emotional and caring — he quickly became completely isolated from the rest of the class.

Anastasia tried reaching out to him a few times but received nothing but aggression in return. Eventually, they stopped talking altogether. Stanislav became a shell of his previous self, just a shadow of whom he used to be. He often got into arguments with classmates, especially with those of the worst kind — bullies. He even punched a teacher and almost got himself expelled if not for the fact that many other teachers sympathized with him. Anastasia was shocked by it, she never expected him go do something like that. He disliked a lot of people but he never touched adults. However, it wasn't surprising he let his aggression flow and destroy those that stood in his way.

Fortunately for him, teachers liked him. He rarely caused big troubles or had problems with grades. He studied decently and was quiet most of the time. They didn't know it was due to his time with Anastasia. She supported him and helped him a lot during the two years they were friends. However, there were a few strange moments.

On one day, Anastasia decided to make a joke. It wasn't good or bad but it seemed funny to her. She and Stanislav were playing at his house after finishing homework. They were both fourteen and it happened about three months prior to Stas' confession of love.

As he was finishing a level of a game he was playing, Anastasia lay on his bed. Her head was propped by her arm as she watched him play. An idea crawled inside her head.

"Stas..." she called to him quietly. He turned his head to her. She looked at him slightly seductively and said: "Rape me."

He turned back to the computer and blushed heavily. Anastasia suppressed her giggle — she found the joke funny at that time.

"No." Stas replied shyly as he forced himself to look away.

"Mhh..." the girl moaned and changed her position slightly. "Stas... rape me..."

Slowly, the boy turned his head to her. A bright blush was present on his cheeks. He slowly got up and went to his bed. Anastasia watched him with interest as he kept looking at the floor. His hands were trembling slightly, most of his face was covered by long hair.

Suddenly, he jumped into bed and hugged her close to himself, one of his hands finding itself on her belly as another slid behind her. He inhaled her scent as he placed his head on her shoulder.

"Oh, stop!" Anastasia giggled, pushing him away softly. "Let's not get this too far, shall we?"

Slowly, he backed off and released her from his grasp. There was a look on his face that she couldn't quite describe. At the time, she thought he just went along with the joke.

Later, the girl realized he already loved her by that time but was too shy to tell her about it. She didn't know whether he would indeed have sex with her if she didn't stop him or not. She didn't know much of his sexual fantasies. They did talk about sex a couple of times and Stas admitted he found her beautiful. He even said he would masturbate to her which surprised her.

After his failed confession, the two grew apart. Many of his secrets and desires remained with Anastasia while a lot of hers remained with him. Neither revealed them even after their relationship became worse.

Stanislav disappeared completely soon after he became sixteen. No one knew where he went. Even Anastasia didn't know what made him drop the school. She knew he was still somewhere around him, she even saw him on a few occasions but he simply couldn't be reached. He always found ways to disappear.

Anastasia remembered a few other people disappearing during the last two years. Some of them dropped the school, some disappeared into nothing. Those mysterious cases were investigated by the police but nothing was found, not even the bodies. The last known case was the disappearance of Stanislav. Anastasia found him but where were the others? Were they with him at some point? Were they in Equestria? She didn't know. All she knew was the fact that he appeared in the new world and changed his name. His life also changed quite a lot.

Anastasia's mind returned to Sirius and Iclyn. She was jealous at the fact that Sirius found someone to love. She had never been good with guys and no serious relationship ever came out of anything. She didn't have standards that were too high for her own good but she still couldn't find anyone that could become her significant other. Besides, studying and taking part in many other things left her with very little free time. She simply couldn't find time to actually look for someone she wanted to be close with.

With a heavy sigh, she sat down on the sofa. She understood that Sirius wouldn't come with her if she found a way back to Earth. He had achieved a lot and she doubted he wanted to leave it. She didn't want to leave her friend but she understood that she would have to return to her family. She wanted to return to it, after all.

Sirius was cuddling with Iclyn on the bed. He couldn't feel happier or more relaxed as positive emotions buzzed inside his head. Years of repressing sexual desires and love gave him a lot of stress. Finally relieving it was a feeling Sirius couldn't describe. He felt light and life seemed worth living. He had someone to love and care for, and it was what he always wanted.

He felt alive.

He didn't want to stand up and go anywhere. He just wanted to lie next to Iclyn and feel her warmth, hear her breath, see her. She was like an angel that pierced the darkness surrounding him. He used to feel alone, broken, forsaken and abandoned. With her, he felt complete, he felt he belonged.

A smile spread across his face as he nuzzled Iclyn lovingly. Thanks to her, he changed for the better. He was sure he would become even better with more work. He had motivation and support, he had someone to be better for. He wouldn't let her down.

"We're going to miss the training if we keep lying like that." the pegasus said, chuckling.

"I don't want to go anywhere." Sirius replied quietly. "Can you stay with me, please?"

"I think I can miss a training, yeah." Iclyn nodded and nuzzled him affectionately.

In truth, she was happy as well. Seeing Sirius being so positive reflected on her own mood. She had rarely seen him smiling and it felt good to see him so relaxed and happy after many bad things he had gone through. She knew she has given him a reason to live and enjoy it. She hoped he would become more social and befriend more ponies. He didn't have to be alone all the time and Iclyn was sure she could nudge him in the right direction.

Eventually, the two had to get up to do the homework for the day. Anastasia was invited as well and all three of them did the homework including teaching the language to the girl. It all went in an atmosphere of love and friendship. It made everyone much more productive than they otherwise would be. Sirius helped Nastya learn magic and language, too. It went smoothly and soon the girl was able to understand and create simple sentences. It was a huge step in the direction of learning the language and adapting to the new world.

After all the learning was done, everyone went to the kitchen and prepared food for themselves. Sirius brought the meat he had sent Flora for some time before. He shared it with Anastasia. Iclyn didn't find it disgusting — pegasi liked eating meat, especially fish, and a lot of them did it quite often. Actually, the pegasi were partly carnivores even though their canines were quite small and dull in comparison to a lot of predators' teeth. Iclyn even tried the meat and found it quite tasty. Not something she would eat on a regular basis but it was still very good. She was more accustomed to a traditional herbivore diet.

Soon after finishing their meals, Sirius and Iclyn went to the sports hall of the mansion — they decided to practice fencing. Anastasia went along with them to look at it.

Everything started with a sparring session for a warmup. It was a relatively small duel with a lot of exchanges.

Anastasia looked at how Sirius fought and saw that he had greatly improved since he started fencing. She had attended a few tournaments as a viewer and she could see the development Sirius went through. Even his equine body moved precisely, not a single move of his body was wasted as it conserved energy. He moved quickly and swung his sword quickly and yet precisely. His style was as aggressive as it was back in his earlier days even though his moves were a lot more refined than they used to be.

The girl remembered his first tournament. He was dressed in all black: pants, high boots, gambeson, gloves, and even his protective mask. An image of a skull was painted over the mask, too. He fought fiercely and gained a third place among all other contestance, much to everyone's surprise. He disregarded defense in favor of offense and pressing down on his enemies. Due to this, he managed to reach only the third place.

Anastasia could see how his style improved. It remained very aggressive while still having room for defense. Sirius protected himself quite well against the attacks. He deflected most of them and followed with his own swings. He was turning opponent's efforts against them. Even his limp wasn't much of a hinderance but more of an assist, allowing him to perform dodges as he masked his movements by using limping to fool his opponent.

All in all, a lot of things had changed about Sirius ever since he disappeared from Anastasia's life. She wasn't sure she even knew him anymore. Would he accept her as a friend? It didn't seem like he needed her anymore.

In truth, she was depressed ever since she appeared in Equestria. Even after Princess Luna assured her that a way back would be found, she feared she would be stuck in the new world forever. Sure, everyone seemed very nice and friendly, but they were simply not those she had known for years. The one she used to know as Stanislav had drastically changed. There were substantial and meaningful changes not only to his appearance but to his mind as well.

Anastasia believed she lost all her knowledge about him. He became way too different from whom he used to be with her. He had said that he wanted to remain friends with her but the girl wasn't sure if it would work. It was all too confusing.

A thought appeared in her mind. She turned to Sirius to ask him a question. The training had ended by that time and he was placing the practice weapons back where they belonged, and Iclyn went into the bathroom to clean herself after the tiring workout.

"Sirius, you still haven't told me how you appeared here." Anastasia reminded his friend.

He stopped what he was doing. Slowly, he turned around to face her. His expression was dark and unsettling. He hadn't talked about it with anyone besides Iclyn. However, he felt it would be fair for Anastasia to know the truth.

"Nastya..." he breathed in deeply. "I suddenly disappeared because of one reason. I left nothing behind, I made sure my house would burn down by the time anyone arrived to save it. I went to that lake, and there..." he took another deep breath. It was very hard to talk about it to someone he knew even before coming to Equestria. He feared it would devastate Anastasia. After all, she was one of the reasons that pushed him towards the end.

"Then... what?" the girl asked, fearing the answer.

Sirius knew he had to say it. Gathering the strength he needed, he finally said three simple words. They gave no life or comfort but pain and horror.

"I killed myself."

Author's Notes:

My headache is finally gone and I can continue writing my stories as usual, including this one.

What do you think will happen next?

Chapter 62: Conflicts

Anastasia stared at Sirius, her eyes wide open, her ears flat against her skull and her mouth slightly opened. She couldn't believe what she had heard just a moment ago. Surely it was a crude joke and not something actually serious, right? She just couldn't see the reason. The whole concept of suicide was shocking to her. For her, there was nothing worse than killing oneself. She had never expected one of her friends to even think about it. She knew that people killed themselves for various reasons but they were very distant from her. However, Stanislav used to be very close to her. Finding out that he ended his life was very hard to comprehend and understand.

She had always seen him as a very strong person. He was always standing up to himself and would often get in trouble for his way of thinking and acting. He fought the kids that constantly teased Nastya, he never hesitated to go into a fight if the cause was just for him. Learning that he just gave up on life and did the unthinkable was surprising in a very awful and terrible way.

Sirius just stood there, his eyes staring at the floor. He already regretted telling her this. He saw how shocked she was by his horrifying revelation and he blamed himself for making her feel down. Because of him, she was separated from those she knew and cared for. Because of him, she felt bad. It seemed like he did nothing but brought trouble and worries to her.

She was a nice girl, she didn't deserve to be treated like that. A lot of what he did in the past harmed her and it looked like it came back.

"Why?" Anastasia finally asked as she got back the control over her voice. "Why, St— Sirius?"

"...You don't want to know." he replied and then turned away from her. It was a mistake telling her this. It was a huge mistake, he understood. His words did nothing but scare her. All he could do was leave her so that he wouldn't hurt her again.

"Wait!" the girl rushed to him. She wanted to know one very important thing. "Was it... because of me?"

"I don't blame you." Sirius stated firmly. He wasn't going to make her feel even worse. Besides, she wasn't to blame at all. It was all his wrongdoings. "It wasn't your fault."

"But... I left you when you needed me." Anastasia tried to argue.

"As if it wasn't my fault. I pushed you away, not the other way around, Nastya." Sirius said, looking his friend in the eyes. He inhaled deeply before continuing: "Let's just... not dwell on the past. Alright?" he looked away, not able to look into her caring and warm eyes. "It's not your fault. It never was. It was just... me." he sighed deeply. "We shouldn't talk about it."

"Why, Sirius? I just want to help you!" the girl told him.

"I... don't need your help." the former human replied with slight uncertainty. "I already got it. I have... a life. At least now I do." a lone tear rolled down his cheek. "I understand your... intentions. I simply don't need your help. We may be friends. Talk about... things, do homework together, maybe... do something, um... else. But you need to get back to Earth. Your home is there. Mine is here." he paused for a moment. "That's how it is."

Anastasia opened her mouth but didn't say anything. He was right. There were loving people waiting for her to return. He had no one to return to. She knew his family was no longer there for him, he had no friends left but her. Even then, it would bring him nothing but sadness if he returned. He had nowhere to live at, all his belongings were gone.

In Equestria, Sirius had everything. Reputation, respect, money, a mansion, and a loved one. There was no reason for him to return to his previous life. Anastasia understood it clearly.

"I... I see." she gulped nervously. He didn't reply as he looked down. "But..." the girl tried to say something but she found there was nothing to say. She sighed sadly.

"I don't expect you to understand, Nastya." Sirius said. He turned around and exited the sports hall, leaving Anastasia all alone.

She sat down. She just needed some time to think.

A few hours later, Sirius was lying on the bed reading a book. It was nothing special — just an adventure book about a young colt and his faithful talking dog. The former human just needed to take his mind off of things. The impact his suicide had on him was tremendous and being reminded of it made him feel slightly sick. It obviously wasn't the best experience he had ever had in his life. The death itself, painful transformation, and inability to stay dead. He found much more in his second life but he feared all of it would be taken away from him someday. What would happen when he died again? Would he rest or would he be thrown into another world or back on Earth? He didn't want to leave Iclyn or even leave Equestria.

Speaking of the pegasus filly, she invited Sirius to play with her friends. Reluctantly, he agreed. However, there was an issue.

"Can we bring Nastya along?" he asked.

"Well, I can't see why not." Iclyn shrugged. "I think it'll be good for her, actually. She looks... sad. Maybe playing with somepony will cheer her up."

"I'll go ask her." Sirius said, nodding.

He went downstairs and saw Anastasia sitting on the sofa and staring blankly at the wall. Her eyes were unmoving, even her ears barely flicked to acknowledge Sirius. He flinched — he was the cause of her sadness. He hoped he would be able to redeem himself by helping her. She needed support more than ever and maybe meeting new ponies that were better than Sirius would help her. He never considered himself that great of a friend but he could do something for Nastya to feel better. She would eventually move on and have a better life. Sirius just needed to make sure she would forget him. It seemed the friendship between the two wouldn't work.

"Nastya?" he called her softly. "Um... Iclyn invites you to, um, play with her friends."

"...What?" the girl turned to him. "Um, really?"

"Yes." Sirius nodded assuringly.

"But... I can't even speak right." Anastasia replied. "Um, will they like me?"

"I'm sure they will." Sirius nodded. "You are one of the best girls there can possibly be." he blushed slightly but his face quickly reverted to its previous state. "Just... be yourself."

"...I think I can try." the girl nodded slowly. "So, um... when do we go?"

"In a few minutes. I'll go ask Iclyn."

Some time later, the three ponies were walking through the streets of Canterlot. Sirius decided not to carry his weapon this time. He wanted Anastasia to feel relaxed. Besides, he didn't want to be an eye-sore. He was still quite noticeable because of his limp but he was sure he wouldn't need to walk once they arrive to the place.

Iclyn told him that it was one of her friends' house that was empty for that time. Since there was school the next day, traveling to the treehouse and back would take a lot of time. And thus it was decided to hold a sleepover in Canterlot.

Anastasia didn't know how to feel about the whole event. She was quite nervous and it showed in her eyes and the way she walked. Her gait was stiff, her eyes were looking forward and darted around as if they could find no place for themselves. Her ears were drooped, her head slightly low. She was very uncertain about how ponies would perceive her. Was she good enough for them? Would they share her interests? Would they even accept her?

She had never had big trouble making friends but meeting aliens who might think differently from her was both thrilling and scary at the same time.

Sirius was walking alongside her. His eyes were scanning the surroundings, his body tense. He was nervous because of the lack of weapons and it showed. He knew it was for the better but he felt vulnerable without means of defense. Iclyn was close to him and even encouraged him to be unarmed. He saw that she wanted him to feel more comfortable but it only brought stress. Sirius hoped that he wouldn't need his weapons.

He also worried about Anastasia. He looked at her and saw her stare, saw how she walked. She was tense as he was but for a different reason. Sirius blamed himself for making her feel that way but he hoped new ponies would cheer her up.

Some time later, the three finally arrived to the house the sleepover would take place at. The house had two floors but was much smaller than Sirius' mansion. Nevertheless, it looked like spending time there would turn out to be fun.

"Here we are." Iclyn declared. She walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. Soon enough, the door was opened and the three were greeted by none other than Wind Rider.

"Uh, hi everypony." he greeted them and the opened the door wider. "You're early. Um, there's no one else but I'm sure they'll be here soon."

Sirius, Iclyn, and Anastasia were let inside. The door was quickly closed shut behind them. Sirius glanced at Wind Rider and saw that there was a twitch in his movements and anxiety in his eyes. He even glanced outside and quickly returned. He tried to hide it but the former human could see everything.

Suddenly, Sirius noticed something very unsettling. There was a bruise on small colt's chest. It was barely noticeable since it blended in almost perfectly but it was there. The former human didn't know what to think about it but he suspected it could be pretty serious.

Sirius looked around. The house lacked decorations and everything was on a more practical side of things. No paintings or photos on the walls but there were wooden practice weapons. Everything was arranged to take as less place as possible. The colors were dull and didn't elicit much attention.

"Um, let's go to my room." Wave said and then led the three upstairs. He was obviously nervous, Sirius noted. The way he walked was cautious and stiff. Iclyn could see it as well.

Wave Rider's room wasn't too big but had an extra bed aside from his own. Everything was pretty dull and featureless otherwise. There were small tables with chairs behind the beds, a few bookshelves above the beds with books neatly arranged in alphabetic order, and there were closed drawers under the beds.

"Don't touch my brother's stuff, please." Wave Rider gestured at the right bed. "Um... wanna some coffee or tea?" suddenly, he finally noticed Anastasia. He looked at her and said: "Uh, hi. I remember seeing you at school. I'm Wave Rider." he extended his hoof slightly awkwardly.

"I'm Nastya." the girl introduced herself and bumped hooves with the colt. "I, uh, can't speak language yet."

"Ah... um, alright." Wave said awkwardly nodded. Then he turned to Sirius. "She's from your country, right? The accent is similar to yours."

"She is." Sirius nodded. "Do you mind her being here?"

"No, not at all. The more the better, really." the colt replied. "Alr—"

"What I told you about inviting friends here?" a familiar voice called from the outside. Everyone looked through the window and saw Sweetwater, Wave Rider's brother. "I'm coming in."

"Should we leave?" Iclyn asked with worry.

"N-no, I think I can, uh, discuss it with him." the colt said with great uncertainty while nervously fidgeting in place. His eyes darted from the window to the door and back, their pupils dilated, sweat appeared on his forehead as his breath increased in frequency. The change was subtle but Sirius could see it.

And so, everypony awaited Sweetwater. Sirius' muscles were tense and ready to jump into action — he didn't expect the talk to work. Iclyn was very nervous, too. She didn't know much about Wave's brother at all — the colt hadn't talked about him much. Anastasia just didn't understand what was going on. Wave Rider himself was very scared but he hoped for the best.

Soon, Sweetwater's hoofsteps could be heard. The door to the room opened and finally he entered.

"Oh, Sweetwater, I ju—" Wave started saying but he was interrupted by a punch from his brother. Everyone gasped as the small colt fell on the floor and his eyes widened in fear, his glasses breaking and landing near him. His brother raised his hoof to land another hit but magic encompassed it.

Sweetwater turned his head and saw Sirius' horn glowing. Anger was rising in both. Sirius' pupils were pinpric-small, his nostrils flared and his ears flat against his skull. His body took the familiar fencing position, ready to spring in any direction.

"Get out of here, it's not your business." Sweetwater said.

Sirius' eye twitched.

"So..." he said lowly and calmly as he tried to contain his urge to seriously injure Wave's brother. "You beat your own brother?"

"Unless he listens to what is told to him." Sweetwater replied threateningly. "He needs to be strong. He must endure the pain and listen."

Meanwhile, Wave Rider was lying on the floor, his eyes full of tears. He didn't expect his brother to return until the next day. He hoped he would have some fun with his friends while his family members were away but it was gone.

"It is not the way to treat your own family." Sirius replied, his magic still gripping Sweetwater's hoof tightly.

"B-brother..." Wave Rider tried to say meekly.

"Shut up, I will deal with you later." Sweetwater retorted and returned to Sirius. "I don't care about what you think you are. Get out of here right fucking now."

Sirius looked at Wave Rider. Silent pleading could be seen in colt's tearful eyes. A bruise was appearing on the side of his muzzle as well. The small colt didn't want his friends to leave but was afraid to say anything.

"Make me." Sirius dared as his eyes returned to Wave's brother.

Without any warning, Sweetwater bucked and sent Sirius flying. Everyone gasped as the former human landed outside the room. He quickly returned to his hooves and saw the big colt charging. Sirius dodged to the side and used his magic to grab a book and smash it against Sweetwater's head to disorient him. It didn't work as well as expected — the book wasn't as thick as it needed to be in order to have a punch.

"You fucker!" the big colt growled, and then used his magic to grab a wooden practice staff from the wall. He swung it but Sirius used the same book to block the hit. Gladly, the book was made from a good material and thus wasn't broken from impact.

There was another staff which Sirius quickly took a hold on. The corridor was pretty narrow but he knew how to use a weapon efficiently even with such restrictions. First of all, he thrusted with great force. He hit his opponent's chest, knocking the air out of him. Quickly, Sirius hit the chin and then the side of the head in a rapid succession.

Sweetwater growled and swung his weapon. Sirius parried the hit and struck his opponent's head again. The big colt was disoriented, allowing Sirius to turn around and buck him very hard. Sweetwater hit a wall with his back and dropped the staff. Sirius hit him in the head again, sending him to the floor. Sweetwater moaned in pain as he instinctively covered his head.

"F-fuck..." he groaned as he felt a small stream blood tickling down his forehead.

"You want to make your brother into someone like me?" Sirius asked. "I have anger issues that make me unsocial. Do you want your own brother to suffer for the rest of his life?"

"You're... strong. If not for that, you wouldn't have saved Canterlot from those insect fuckers, would you?" the big colt replied.

"I did it for the one I love." Sirius replied. "No one would come for you." he snorted, and then went around his fallen opponent. He returned to the room where his friends were.

"I... I think, um, we won't party tonight..." Wave Rider sighed sadly.

"We can do it at my place." Sirius replied. "Do you want us to leave you with your brother?"

"...N-no, but... I'll have to return eventually." the colt said with uncertainty as his eyes darted between Sirius and fallen Sweetwater behind him.

"Do you like it here?" the former human asked, looking into Wave's eyes.

"F-father will be very upset if..."

"Do you like it here?" Sirius repeated his question.

"I..." Wave Rider sighed and looked down. "No, I don't. This... military thing just isn't for me."

"You may live with me and Iclyn." the former human assured him. Iclyn nodded — she didn't want to see his friend suffer.

"I... I don't know." the small colt said with uncertainty. He finally stood up from the ground and picked up his now broken glasses. "Ugh, not again..." he complained under his breath.

"Wave, we can help you." Iclyn assured him as she put a hoof on his shoulder.

"But... what about other ponies? They, um, will come here." Wave Rider replied.

"I'll stay and meet them." Sirius said. "Go on with Iclyn and Nastya, I will soon return with other ponies who'll come here."

"...O-okay." the small colt nodded. "I just... gather my stuff."

Sirius didn't like this situation at all. He had known some abusive families but it surprised him in a bad way to see something like this in Equestria. However, he hoped Wave Rider would be free of his brother's influence. Sirius saw that Sweetwater and possible his father were militaristic while Wave Rider wasn't. It created a conflict within the family and thus the small colt was bullied by his own brother because of that. He was forced to go through what he didn't want.

The former human saw why Wave was shy and not very social. He tried his best to have a good time with his friends but his family didn't allow him to do it. Sirius was raised by a good family and it pained him to see less fortunate people.

As for Wave Rider, he didn't know how to feel about the whole situation. At one side, he was going to leave his family and it could turn out very badly for him in the future. On the other side, he was finally leaving his abusive brother and settling down with his friends. He didn't know much about Sirius but still liked him in a very friendly way. Wave Rider didn't have many friends and seeing someone standing up to him was a very pleasant surprise.

He loved his friends more than his family. He never liked the militaristic routine he had to go through with his brother. While Sweetwater liked it, Wave Rider would like to spend more time studying and going out with his friends. He knew he would do everything for his friends.

At least they liked him for who he was.

Author's Notes:

Characters in this story suffer a lot.

Sirius: anger issues, depression, self-hate, PTSD.
Anastasia: developing depression, loneliness.
Wave Rider: depression, shyness, loneliness, lack of self-esteem.

The only one that is normal is Iclyn.

A reminder for you all — abuse in the family isn't right. I've not suffered from it but I know some people who have very strict parents. More often than not, those who were abused either become criminals or simply unsocial. Support from friends help those people a lot.

There will be a lot more for Wave Rider in the future. He will certainly have to deal with the consequences of his decisions.

Chapter 63: Friendship

Sirius stayed near Wind Rider's house and redirected ponies who came to it. He met a familiar face — Coral. Other than that, there wasn't anyone for some time.

"I'm going to get my brother back." Sirius heard a voice behind him. He turned around swiftly and saw Sweetwater. The colt was standing in the doorway, glaring at the former human.

"And then beat him up?" Sirius asked with a growl in his voice.

"That's better for him." Sweetwater snorted but didn't come out of the house. "And you better stay out of my way."

"Are you threatening me?" Sirius' nostrils flared as he lowered his head. His body tensed and prepared to spring into action. No one could threaten him and come out of it unscathed either physically or mentally.

"I'm warning you." the colt replied.

"Here is my warning — hurt my friends, and I will remove your horn." the former human growled. "The changeling queen tried to take my friends away. She has no horn anymore. She was much more powerful than someone like you will ever be." Sirius inhaled deeply. He wished he brought a weapon. "You are nothing compared to those I defeated. I don't fear the likes of you."

Sweetwater's eyes widened in fear. He knew Sirius was aggressive but he didn't expect such a threat. He retreated inside the house and closed the front door.

Sirius just snorted. He liked putting people such as Sweetwater back in place. The former human showed dominance. Not the fake one many people liked to show but the real one, the one that couldn't be challenged without consequences. Sirius wasn't afraid of hurting other people even if it meant crippling them for the rest of their lives. He knew he could get in big trouble or even jail or prison for doing something like this but he didn't like laws anyway. He did what he did based on his own experience and what was happening around him at the time. If crippling someone meant safety, he would do it regardless of what distanced from reality lawmakers say.

During his stay near the house, he redirected another few ponies, both of whom he knew: they were twins, Coffee Mug and Coffee Bean. They were surprised to see Sirius again but understood what he said about party being held at another house.

Just to make sure, Sirius stayed for a few more minutes. Seeing no other pony going to the house, he headed back to his mansion.

He didn't notice a glare coming from one of the windows in the house.

Once Sirius returned, he immediately saw that everything was already starting as everyone assembled. Wave Rider, Iclyn, Coral, Anastasia, and the twins were in the living room.

"...I don't really know." the small colt replied to someone's question, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. "I, uh, didn't really think everything through... Oh, hi Sirius!" he waved awkwardly at the former human. "I, um, trying to figure out what to start with."

Sirius looked at the colt and saw the bruise on the side of his muzzle. He mentally flinched, knowing that Wave didn't have a very good time with his brother. At least the former human managed to help him.

"I remember that we started everything with hide-n-seek." Sirius replied. "I think it would be a good idea to do the same."

"Yeah! None of us knows this place. It'll be fun!" one of the twins commented.

"I guess so..." Wave Rider nodded. "So, um, I'll count to, uh, fifty. Is that okay, everypony?"

Everyone but Anastasia nodded. Once Sirius quickly explained everything to her, she nodded as well. And thus, everyone searched for a place to hide among the wast space of the mansion.

"And don't lock the doors, okay?" Wave yelled, pausing the counting for a second. A collective 'Yes' satisfied him and he returned to counting. "Seven, eight..."

Sirius didn't really know where to hide. As big as his mansion was, there wasn't a place to hide.

Suddenly, an idea hit him. He proceeded into the sports hall. Once inside, he looked at the baskets for basketball. They had wooden shield he could hide behind if he could climb up there. Furtunately, there was a stack of mats near one of the baskets. If he could just hop onto the stack, getting behind the shield wouldn't be a problem.

He walked up to the mats and looked up. He would most likely fall if he tried to climb it up the more obvious way. Instead, he jumped and used his magic to propel himself upwards. He landed on the top mat successfully. Then, he carefully got behind the wooden shield. Thankfully, there was plenty of space to stand on. The shield was pretty big and hid him almost completely, he only had to hide his head.

Anastasia hid underneath the bed of Sirius and Iclyn. It wasn't the best spot but she couldn't find anything better by the time Wave Rider started searching. She could only hope he won't find her first. She didn't know where others went either.

She listened carefully to her surroundings. It seemed like Wave Rider was still on the first floor. She sighed and relaxed. The place underneath the bed was quite comfortable as it didn't have any dust whatsoever. She could rest for a bit and wait to be found.

The girl didn't know what to think of other ponies she'd recently met. She couldn't even talk to them properly. At least their company was nice and she especially liked the younger twins. They were joyful and full of energy like many kids were in their age. Anastasia felt good about being a child again even if just for a few hours. She didn't have to think about education or job, she could be careless as she once used to be.

Her parents were rather strict in that regard and made sure she was getting excellent marks at school. Anastasia wanted to have fun but more often than not she had to study in fear of disappointing her parents and being grounded. She planned on moving somewhere else once she started university but her parents forbade her. They told her that she needed to study first.

Anastasia wanted to return to her family but the time without their almost constant watch felt nice in a strange way. She was all by herself, no one made her do anything. Sirius was rather light on her, ponies she met seemed very nice to be around with. Excluding Sweetwater, but he wasn't the one she was going to meet anyway. He looked like a worse example of strictness than her own parents. Anastasia was never abused by either father or mother and she felt sorry for Wave Rider. She couldn't imagine how it was to live with someone like Sweetwater.

"Found you!"

The girl exclaimed something and jumped in place, hitting her head against the bed.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Wave Rider said with worry. "I, uh, didn't mean to scare you."

Anastasia groaned and rubbed her head. It wasn't that bad but it wasn't that good either, obviously. She would be fine in a few minutes at most.

"Here, let me help you." the colt said and used his magic to bring Anastasia from under the bed. "I, uh, will go to search for others."

With that being said, he disappeared from the room, leaving the girl alone. She didn't understand most of what he had said and thus had no idea where he went. She made a conclusion that he went to search for other ponies. Anastasia decided to go downstairs and grab a snack in the meantime.

There were seven rounds of hide-n-seek, allowing everyone to be the searcher. It was pretty fun since there were many places around the mansion to hide in and no one was left dissatisfied with how the rounds went. After the end of the game, everyone assembled back in the living room and sat on the sofa.

"Uh, everypony, I have an idea." Wave Rider spoke as he stood in front of others. His nervousness showed as he didn't look anyone in the eyes and tried to stay focused on the floor. "Um, there's a game 'Never have I ever'. I guess we can play that."

Everyone agreed with his suggestion and no questions were asked. Even Sirius knew what that game was supposed to be. He was unsocial but it didn't mean he didn't play different games with Anastasia. Mostly, she was the one initiating them but he enjoyed them nevertheless.

"So, uh, I have some chocolate beans." Wave Rider levitated a bag of them to himself. "We need just... seven bowls. Each of us will have, um, twenty beans. If the, uh, statement that is spoke is true, you eat a bean. The one who has the least of them by the end of the game loses."

Sirius got seven plates for the game — unfortunately, he couldn't find bowls of suitable size. And soon, the game began with one of the twins starting it.

"Never have I ever stumbled on a plain surface." Coffee Bean said. His sister and Wave Rider ate the beans.

"Never have I never... Ugh!" Coffee Mug grunted as everyone shared a chuckle. "Never. Have. I. Ever. Spoken this sentence right." Everyone excluding herself and Sirius ate a bean.

"Never have I ever... fought ponies. Uh, physically." Wave Rider said. Sirius was the only one who ate a bean.

"Never have I ever learned just one language." Sirius responded, getting anyone but himself and Anastasia to eat a bean.

"Never have I ever..." Coral paused for a moment. "Had sex."

Once Sirius translated the sentence to Anastasia, the girl frowned.

"Is it even appropriate? The twins look too young for this." she asked Sirius.

"I think it is." he shrugged and ate a bean. Soon after, Iclyn followed. Everyone else 'aww'ed at the two and then the game continued.

In the end, Sirius was the one with the least amount of chocolate beans on his plate. As it turned out, he did a lot of things. However, it wasn't clear if everyone wanted him to lose on purpose.

"So, there is a punishment for losing!" Wave Rider declared as his confidence grew. It looked like his friends were enjoying the party alongside him and it made him feel good. "Let me find this thing..." he looked into his saddlebags that he brought. He didn't have much personal belongings in the first place but his saddlebags were still rather big. A sleeping bag was tightly packed in one of them, too. Soon, he pulled out a bag of real beans and a few plastic straws. "We'll shoot this beans at you, Sirius!"

The former human didn't mind it much. After all, it was just a game for all participants to have fun. He liked the idea of the loser getting a punishment and it so happened that he had lost the game. It didn't mean anything and thus he was still satisfied with the outcome.

He looked at Wave Rider and saw how joyful the colt became. Away from his home and brother, he seemed lively. He liked the attention he was getting and the fun he was having judging by a wide and happy smile on his bright face.

Sirius wouldn't mind such an addition to mansion's population. It was empty and quiet with just only him and Iclyn, and the addition of Anastasia and Wave Rider made everything much more comfortable. The colt could also provide company for the girl and help her learn the language, too. Sirius wanted Anastasia to be happy and thus he had nothing against her getting friends and maybe a special someone. He knew it would be a long way for her to become close to even one pony but he was sure she would be able to find her own happiness in Equestria.

Maybe she would have to leave at some point, Sirius didn't know. He was uncertain about Luna's promise to help Anastasia find a way back home. He wished his friend the best nevertheless.

Wave Rider felt happy inside. He was appreciated and cared for by his friends. They were having fun alongside him, and he was very grateful for what Sirius had done for him even though the two didn't know much about each-other. The colt began to saw him as a better brother he never had. Sirius even looked close to Wave Rider himself, making the two look like real brothers. While the two were different in many ways, Wave was sure he would find more comfort with Sirius than he did with Sweetwater.

However, his father would certainly come for him. Wave Rider didn't know what to do about it but he hoped it would turn for the better. He had the protection of his friends, including Sirius, a person he didn't know much. While Sirius was aggressive, Wave Rider still saw him as a good person and someone to turn to in the times of trouble.

Maybe it was a new page in colt's life. He hoped it would mean something more than just not seeing his brother and living at his friend's spacious mansion.

He felt like he would be a great friend, just like others were to him.

Author's Notes:

Sirius' circle of friends is growing and he helps them out along the way.

Chapter 64: Fears

Sirius was asleep after a tiring day. The party had ended with everyone searching for a place to sleep at, and he chose his own bed he shared with Iclyn. Anastasia had to join the two to allow others more room downstairs. And so, everyone drifted off to sleep in a matter of just a few minutes.

Unfortunately, the former human didn't sleep peacefully. As soon as he was in the world of self-conjured dreams, he saw a barren land littered with ruins of different buildings that were in various states of decay. The wind was blowing dust across the ground, the sky was completely covered by gray lifeless clouds. The roads were broken and lacked maintenance, and not a soul could be seen or heard around the streets. The bushes and the trees were long dead and dried up, their leaves long since had turned to dust. Yellow and fragile grass blotted the ground in some spots but it didn't give any life to the environment.

Sirius stood in the middle of everything in his pony form. He had no weapons and nobody on his side. He was completely alone in the deserted town. He warily looked around and found nothing of interest or any sign of danger. The place was like it seemed — empty and hollow.

He started moving. He was slow and something was creaking behind him. He turned his head and saw that his hind legs were very thin and looked more like a pair of skin-covered sticks than proper and working limbs. A wheelchair cart was welded to his body, its wheels not properly oiled in ages and broken through a lot of use, its frame bent in some places as well as rusty and decaying like the world around its defenseless and fragile owner.

Sirius could do nothing but move as he suppressed the urge to cry out loud. He didn't know what manner of creatures hid among the ruins of the town and was searching for prey. He moved cautiously but the squeaking of his wheels was loud enough to compromise his plan to stay hidden and out of sight. He was exposed for all the world to see.

There was one building in particular he was interested in. It looked like a familiar house. Maybe Sirius could find weapons there? He hoped so at the very least.

Slowly and painfully, he made his way to the ruins. They were empty, nothing but piles of trash and materials. Everything was rusty and untended, the gray bricks were covered in cracks and what remained of the paint. Sirius looked inside the building but found nothing of interest. However, there was a small mirror. It was cracked in one of its corners and was dusty. Sirius looked at his reflection and nearly screamed at what he saw.

His body was unhealthily thin and skinny, the fur was messy and dirty, and his mane was no better, featuring many strands of white, hiding its natural dark-blue almost completely. His eyes were sunken deep into his skull and were almost glowing eerily as they reflected light. His head looked like someone wrapped a skull in skin. The teeth in his mouth had a yellow tint to them, and his fangs were longer.

Suddenly, he heard a voice. It was calling him from somewhere out in the streets. The voice was full of worry and concern, as well as subtle fear. Sirius rushed out of the building as fast as he could. He saw a silhouette at the end of the street. He didn't know who they were but he felt he needed them.

"I'm—" he tried to shout but his throat was dry, forcing him to wheeze and cough. He looked at the ground and saw specks of blood. Was it his own? "I'm coming!" he managed to wheeze out quietly, and then poured all of his strength into his pace. He needed to get to them as quickly as possible.

He grunted and panted as he went. His limbs were shaking, he was entirely covered in sweat. The wheels of the wheelchair cart squeaked under his weight as he almost crawled. He opened his mouth to increase his breath but it didn't help.

The voice called for him again but he couldn't move any faster. Suddenly, the figure at the end of the street disappeared in one of the buildings. Sirius panicked and poured all his power and might into moving, he couldn't stop. His legs were burning from exhaustion, the sweat stung his eyes and made his vision blurry, the heart was pounding in his chest fast as his breath wheezed the air rapidly in and out.

In a few minutes, he finally reached the building. He coughed, and then vomited on the ground, covering it in his blood and chunks of his lungs. He almost collapsed into the pool he made but he managed to stay upright and continue. He couldn't give up.

He entered the building. The inside was dim and dusty, a strong smell of iron in the air. As soon as he stepped further, his hoof splashed against something. He looked down and saw something red. Was it blood?

If so, he needed to get to that person as soon as he could. If not for the liquid on the floor being so sticky.

He heard steps from upstairs. He looked up and saw the dust coming down from the ceiling as it creaked under someone's slow steps. The steps sounded like they belonged to two people or someone with four legs.

Sirius didn't know what to do, his confidence left him. What if they lured him in to kill or worse, torture and rape? He didn't want to go through it, he had no strength to fight. He was defenseless and worst of all, alone. No one would come to rescue him. He needed to get out of there before something terrible happened, before he was forced to do something against his will. He would never go through it, not again.

The steps stopped. A ringing silence replaced all sounds. Sirius held his breath, his mouth slightly open. He felt like his pounding heart could be heard across the whole city. His eyes darted around in fear of ambush.

The ceiling broke, and a body fell from it. It stopped with a nasty cracking noise, suspended by a thick rope above the floor, it tied around its neck. Sirius stood there, stunned and shocked, tears in his wide eyes.

Through the hole in the roof, what sunlight there was shone upon the body.

The body of Iclyn. Her lifeless eyes stared off into the distance, her mane tangled and her face bloodless.

"I-Iclyn..." Sirius took a step back. "W-why?"

A figure jumped from the ceiling and landed on the floor, creating a splash of blood. It was a tall and gaunt humanoid figure, its skin pale, its eyes sunk deep into the skull. In one hand, it held a piece of rope.

"Y-you!" Sirius growled out. "You've done it! I will murder you!"

With a loud cry, the former human dashed at the figure as he bared his teeth and prepared to tore it to pieces. But the creature hit him in the face with a fist, sending him across the room and into the wall. The wheelchair broke, some of its parts going deep into Sirius' body, ripping it. He cried out in pain as he felt the lower part of his body being torn apart and stabbed through by metal, revealing his guts and bladder.

The figure looked at Sirius without as much as a hint of emotion on its plain and almost featureless face. It slowly walked up to Sirius and stood at his body, watching him tremble in agony.

The nightmarish being raised his other hand. It held a bloodied revolver. A hammer was cocked with a deafening click.

Sirius couldn't even look up at his murderer as he cried on the floor, his tears mixing with blood. He couldn't utter a world as he screamed silently, his mouth wide open as he gasped for air.

The figure continued watching him for a few more seconds. Then it finally pressed the trigger.

Nothing happened.

The creature half-cocked the revolver and spun the cylinder. The gun was fully cocked again.

*Click*

As Sirius moaned on the floor, the figure let out a small laugh.

Half-cock, spin, cock.

*Click*

Half-cock, spin, cock.

*Click*

Sirius cried out in pain, wishing for everything to end. The figure laughed at his misery and suffering, displaying a row of bloodied and rotten human teeth.

The whole process was repeated. And again. And again. And yet again.

The former human had no strength to even cry as he wheezed on the floor, his front legs scratching against it as life left him bit by bit, ever so agonizingly slowly.

The creature squatted and flicked open the revolver. It turned the gun around and showed it to Sirius as he looked up at his tormentor.

There were no cartridges in the cylinder.

Sirius whimpered and let his head fall down. The creature guffawed as if it had just made a funny joke. It stood up and raised its hands. The rope it had was securely tied to a wooden beam on the ceiling and made into a noose.

Effortlessly, the being grabbed and lifted Sirius by the neck, letting his guts fall out and drag across the bloodied floor. The former human had no strength to fight. He gave up.

After tying the noose around Sirius' neck, the creature let go. The former human started choking as he wiggled his front legs to try to do at least something. For a few moments, the creature just stood and watched as Sirius struggled without getting any results, his eyes rolling to the back of his head as his mouth opened and closed in an effort to breathe.

The figure raised the revolver and grabbed it by the barrel. It started pounding Sirius' face with the handle, turning it into a mush of blood, broken bones, and eyes. The former human shook violently as his head turned into a bloody mess and opened like a grotesque flower.

Finally, he woke up, his eyes shot open. He could see Iclyn's face in front of him as she looked at him with worry and concern, a hoof raised in the air. Anastasia was behind her, peeking at Sirius from the safety of Iclyn's back.

"Sirius?" Iclyn asked nervously as she lowered her hoof. He was finally awake and stopped trashing on the bed.

Sirius blinked. Suddenly, he lunged forward and hugged his lover tightly, tears rolling down his face as he cried, letting out muffled sobs as he pressed his muzzle against Iclyn's neck. The filly didn't hesitate to hug him in return and whisper comforting things in his ear.

"Shh, it was just a dream. I'm here." she whispered softly. "You're safe."

"I, I, I..." Sirius sobbed, trying to say something.

"No need to speak, Sirius." Iclyn said even more softly as she tried to calm him. "Everything is alright. Let it out."

Anastasia watched it all, her mouth slightly opened. She had never seen that side of him before. He was vulnerable, weak, and scared. His body shook as he cried into Iclyn's shoulder. She caressed him lovingly and with great care.

For a second, the girl almost opened her forelegs to hug him. She stopped — was she even welcome? Was she needed? He had Iclyn, someone he loved and was loved by. He didn't need someone he had certainly almost forgot.

Slowly, she lowered her forelegs with a quiet sigh. Her ears drooped as she looked down at the floor. A small frown appeared on her face, accompanied by a tired look of half-lidded eyes. Her gaze dulled as a lone tear rolled down her cheek.

Stanislav replaced everything. His name, his friends, and his love. He became a pony named Sirius. He was no longer human and didn't want to do anything with humans. He helped Nastya only because he felt like he needed to even after his feelings for her faded away. The girl was sure it was so. He didn't even spare her a glance once he finally woke up from the nightmare. He looked only at Iclyn and cried in her embrace.

Anastasia didn't know what that nightmare was and she was sure Sirius wouldn't tell her anyway. He had Iclyn. He didn't have to care about his old friend from times long gone. The two went their separate ways. One ended up killing himself and appearing in a new world, and the other tried to find him and was transported to the new world as well.

The girl didn't believe in destiny or fate. There was no purpose for her in the new world. What would she do? Where would she work? How would she find friends? Most importantly, would she able to return to those she knew and forget the new world? It could go without her. Sirius could go without her.

As he and Iclyn embraced each-other, Anastasia turned her gaze away and stared at the wall.

She was very, very lonely.

Author's Notes:

The rate of updates have decreased as of late. I'm going through a hard time right now. I also want to work on quality and stop pumping out chapters. I've noticed that it would be easier to polish everything if I take more time.

This chapter is very important to the story and I want to hear what you have to say about it. For example, what do you think the nightmare meant for Sirius? What will happen to Anastasia? The old friend of Stanislav is falling into depression, unfortunately.

At least Sirius has Iclyn for comfort, but what does Nastya have?

Chapter 65: Nightmare

After witnessing Sirius' breakdown, Anastasia managed to fall back asleep only about an hour later. Thankfully, the night was still young and she would have hours of sleep until the next day came. At first, she slept peacefully by dreaming no dreams. Her chest rose and fell slowly and rhythmically, her breath was calm, her body relaxed and spread wide. Her eyes were closed, her expression neutral as her head lay on a soft pillow.

But then, a dream came. Anastasia found herself in the middle of a forest. It was night, the sky was clear and the moon shone brightly upon the trees and what little of the ground it could get to through the foliage. Soft shadows were cast by the moonlight and faint starlight.

However, something was amiss. The girl stood under a tree, her body human. She wore her usual attire and a hoodie to keep herself warm. She frantically looked around, her body tense, a frown forming on her face. She didn't remember getting there in the middle of the night.

Finally, she figured out what was wrong. The forest was deadly silent. No chirping, no wind, nothing. The only thing Anastasia could hear was her hushed breath and ever increasing heartbeat. What was she doing in the forest? She should've been at home asleep and dreaming as she lay in soft and comfortable bed, her head on a pillow and her body covered by a blanket.

Something landed on her nose. It was a speck of something harsh and dry. Anastasia used her finger to remove it and take a look at it. It looked like snow but was grayer and felt different. She pinched the speck and rubbed it against her fingers. It didn't go away or thaw.

A few other gray flakes landed on her. She looked up and immediately regretted it as a flake landed in her eye. She closed it and began rubbing the flake out of it. Her eye watered and eventually she got that thing out of it.

Anastasia remembered the sensation. One day, she and Stanislav were out in a forest all by themselves. It was a cold autumn day, gray clouds hung above them. And yet, everything was dry and looked lifeless as last leaves fell down from the trees. The girl and the boy walked through the forest, leaves crunching under their boots.

Stanislav suggested making a fire. The two found a fallen log, cleared the ground near it and prepared some sticks and dry plants for a fire. The boy carried a rather large knife with him and was able to chop off a few sticks from dead trees with it. He had a matchbox in his pocket as well, and soon the fire was rising. It took some time to get it going but eventually it started to burn hotly, wood cracking in it.

The girl remembered she got a flake of ash in her eyes as she sat too close to the fire.

It was ash falling from the sky. There was no fire, no smoke, no sound, and yet there was ash. Anastasia looked around, disbelief shown on her face. What was happening didn't make sense at all.

Maybe that ash came from a distant fire somehow? Anastasia wasn't sure but it could be possible that she wandered away from her friend on accident. She better return to him soon.

She began to walk in a random direction. She felt like she would find him eventually. Clouds of vapor escaped her mouth as she breathed, her hands in the pockets of her hoodie. Dry leaves and dead ash crunched under her feet as she walked through the forest, having no clear path or destination. She just hoped Stanislav was somewhere nearby.

She pushed away some branches as she came to an open space. She looked around and saw that it was a lake. Along its edges and on a rock close to it, plants of red color grew, their flowers blooming. The water seemed red from all those plants that surrounded it and grew under it, flooding it. The water was still, the moon and stars reflecting on it.

Suddenly, the moon blinked and a peculiar pattern of craters appeared on it. Something rustled right behind Anastasia softly and yet she immediately picked up and reacted to the sound.

She swiftly turned around. Her eyes went wide as she saw who was standing before her.

"P-princess Luna?" she stuttered in surprise and then blinked a few times. "Is it... a dream?"

The alicorn was silent, her gaze was fixed on something behind Anastasia. The girl turned around and saw that something was emerging from the lake. It was a tall, gaunt, and pale figure. It resembled a human but its eyes were sunken deep in the skull, an unnatural purple glow emanating from the eyeholes. The eyes also seemed glazed over as they reflected the light in a strange way. The figure was completely nude and covered in scars, some fresh and some old.

"Look at me." it demanded in a voice Anastasia immediately recognized. "Look at what you have done."

"S-stas?" the girl stuttered as she took a step back in fear and shock. A wave of terror washed over her as the figure blinked slowly.

It was motionless as a mannequin, its sickly glowing eyes glaring at Nastya and at the same time staring at nothing.

"Begone, nightmare!" Princess Luna proclaimed, her horn charging up with energy. A bolt of magic shot at the figure.

It didn't move as magic went right through it without dealing any damage. For a split second, its eyes turned slightly and looked at the attacker. The figure returned its attention to the girl and raised a hand, a revolver held in it.

Anastasia yelled in fear as she heard a click. Something of blue color appeared in front of her immediately after.

Four consecutive shots were fired, all of them absorbed by the magical shield Luna conjured. The air around them rang as the booming gunshots reverberated around the lake.

The girl fell down as shock washed over her body like a way, adrenaline of fear coursing through her bloodstream. She shook violently, the palms of her hands covering her eyes as tears rolled down her cheeks. Incapacitated by overwhelming fear and sadness, Anastasia could do nothing but sob and cry in despair.

The figure pressed the revolver against its chin and fired. Fragments of bones, blood, and brains sputtered from the back of its head as the figure fell into the water, leaving nothing behind, the gurgling of its throat soon silenced as water closed above it. It took no more but a moment but it seemed so slow that Anastasia could still feel the glare on herself.

For a few moments, everything was silent as the water calmed down and became still again.

A gust of cold, harsh wind blew from the lake, making leaves rustle. The ash circled above the lake and landed on its barely moving surface. The water began to boil.

The figure reemerged, the back of its head gone. The cold purple eyes of the creature glared at Anastasia, making her scream as if someone tried to pry open her skull with a crowbar. She fell down on the ground, clutching her head in pain.

The figure had its upper body and arms covered in blood, and in the left hand the creature held a longsword. The water became still again as a crust of reddened ice formed on it, making the surface completely smooth.

The figure assumed a fighting stance by placing its right foot forward while slightly turning the whole body, making it seem thinner. The sword was held in two hands and kept deceivingly low. As another moment passed, the figure started walking towards the girl.

https://youtu.be/c4ZthWTadJ8

Luna stood in front of Anastasia and summoned her own blade. It was a longsword, a shortened version of the greatsword she's given to Sirius as a reward for the victory at the tournament. The crescent-shaped silvery guard reflected the light of the moon, the blade catching spots of moonlight and amplifying them.

"You cannot stand in my way." the figure spoke in a gravely tone, its voice accompanied by gurgling as blood streamed out of its mouth and from under its chin. "She must pay for what she had done to me."

The alicorn of dreams could see that Anastasia believed herself to be guilty of making Sirius commit suicide. Luna figured it out quickly due to what the nightmarish figure spoke and the way it presented itself.

Luna knew she better keep the figure away. She lunged forward and thrusted her sword. Her opponent swiftly dodged to the side and swung its own sword. The alicorn could immediately see it was the fighting style of Sirius. Aggressive, swift, and full of quick movement to dodge or attack. However, he was slower than she expected.

The two exchanged a few hits before the figure tried to grab Luna by the neck. She used magic to push it away, but it only angered the nightmarish figure. Immediately, it lunged forward for a thrust and then quickly followed up with a horizontal swing. The figure dodged backwards to avoid counterattack.

Luna decided to take the lead and swung her longsword, trying to get to the figure. However, it was agile and quick, managing to avoid her hits without blocking. Its movements were fluid but broken at the same time. Unnatural, twitchy movements accompanied its precise and swift strikes. Grunts and groans as well as gurgling sounded from the creature as it attacked.

Anastasia lay on the ground, her head pressed against her knees as she tried not to look at the horrifying fight. Seeing the one who looked like her friend fighting with someone as helpful and friendly as Luna brought tears of confusion and shock to the eyes of the girl. Why would they be fighting? She couldn't understand it. Was it her fault?

The pace of the fight increased as exchanges became longer and more powerful. It seemed like the figure grew in power and strength as time passed. Its movements became even faster, little energy was spent on anything other than being effective in the fight. The figure was gaining the upper hand in the duel.

"Nastya, you must let go!" Luna said as she deflected figure's hits. "We can sort everything out together!"

The girl continued to sob but her breath began to calm down aa her mind rushed to think. She opened her eyes and lowered her hands to look at the field of battle. There, Luna and the nightmarish figure fought to death. Both moved swiftly and tried to hit each-other. It looked like the figure was doing good at it as its attacks became more and more aggressive, its defense lowering as it left no room for Luna to counterattack.

"No matter what you think, do not let it get into your head!" the princess continued trying to break Anastasia out of stupor and freezing fear.

And yet, the girl was unmoving as she stared with her eyes full of tears. It was all her fault. Stanislav became a monster because of her. She shouldn't had left him when he was in such a dire need for a friend. They could try to at least stay friends. He wouldn't had been completely isolated and alone. She had known him, she knew he had issues, she knew he hated being alone. Why did she leave him? They could reason and find the truth.

The duel continued with the nightmarish figure delivering aggressive and powerful strikes, too fast to retaliate. Luna was forced into defense

Anastasia's eyes darted from Luna to the figure. What could she do? What must she do? What was right to do?

Stanislav had become someone very different. He was not her friend, not anymore. He was fighting out of spite and rage, not in defense of himself and others. Maybe Nastya could stop it, bring it to an end?

No, something was very wrong. It wasn't Stanislav, it was just his body. It looked like him but wasn't him in the slightest. The girl knew he would never hurt anyone unless they hurt him first. He didn't avoid fights and never hesitated to bring harm upon those who tried to attack him or those he cared about.

Anastasia stood up. She reached into her pocked and pulled out a knife. She unfolded it with a satisfying click and went to the nightmarish figure with confidence in her steps. She knew it could come to this at any moment, Stanislav warned her many times. She had to defend herself with force.

The figure's back was facing her as she approached it, the knife gripped tightly in her right hand. She had to do it. Stanislav had taught her that there would be times when there was no other choice but to make sure that the one who attacked her was dead. Anastasia feared such a thought but her friend was right in the end. She knew that many different people lived on Earth, some of them good, others — bad. Some of them were ready to hurt others for whatever they needed: emotional satisfaction, belongings or even sick pleasure. Anastasia could meet any of them and she was aware of it.

In the heat of the duel, the figure didn't notice the girl appearing behind it. She raised the knife, holding it in an icepick grip. She put as much force behind stab as she could, thrusting the blade between the ribs of the figure. Anastasia let go of the sword and backed off as the figure stopped. It dropped the sword and then fell to the ground, its body turning to ash and then was scattered by the wind.

Anastasia breathed heavily as he looked at the bloodied knife on the pile of ash. She did it. She protected herself and others. She did the right thing.

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply. It was over. Warm, welcoming light encompassed her as her mind drifted into peaceful, undisturbed dreams. The forest, the lake, the steel, and the ash were gone.

Luna stood in the middle of the dreamscape, panting heavily. It was a very intense fight for her that left her body shaking from the amount of adrenaline distributed into her bloodstream. She dropped her sword and sat on the ground.

Humans dreamed differently, she realized. No magic would help with their nightmares. Either they gather up courage and deal with them or they don't. There was no way around it.

She looked at the door close to the one she had entered a few minutes ago. A chained door that had dried-up blood at its bottom. What hid behind it? What nightmares were there to be fought? Were they worse than what the princess of dreams had witnessed in the nightmare of Anastasia?

Luna woke up, exiting the nightmare. She sat up on her bed and sighed heavily.

*plop*

She looked at the source of a sudden sound. It was a speck of liquid that dropped on the floor. She lit her horn to look at it and saw that it was blood. Suddenly, she felt something itching on her foreleg. She looked at it and her eyes widened in shock.

There was a wound.

Author's Notes:

Dreams exaggerate the experience. But what if dreams can do something they shouldn't?

Chapter 66: Resolving

It was early in the morning. The sun was still in the process of rising, and the streets of Canterlot were mostly empty. Leaves were flying around the city as a soft and yet cold wind blew, gray clouds covering the skies, letting only little sunlight through. Ponies prepared for winter as pegasi pushed the clouds to ensure that everything would go into hibernation and the nature would have its deserved rest.

Sirius was sitting all alone on the balcony, gazing into nothing. His expression was blank, his mind empty as he sat and breathed calmly and rhythmically. After Iclyn helped him calm down after the nightmare, he didn't have much sleep as dark thoughts invaded his mind. He lay in bed, his eyes open and staring at the ceiling. Some time later, he stood up and went to the balcony.

Thoughts appeared in his head with another fresh breath of the chilly autumn air. He thought about his own life but more importantly, about his life with Iclyn. He sighed deeply as saddening thoughts went through his head, shaming and scaring him.

He heard the floor creaking behind himself. His ears swiveled backwards but he didn't turn around. He was sure he knew who it was.

"Sirius?" a familiar female voice asked. A clop of hooves sounded and soon Iclyn was near the former human.

Sirius stared ahead of himself without looking at anything in particular. His ear twitched slightly when he heard Iclyn sigh. He lowered his head slightly and blinked as he came back to reality. He turned his head to the filly and saw worry on her face. He turned away again, unable to look into her caring, gray pink-tinted eyes.

"I was thinking about us." he admitted after a moment of thought. "I think I... don't do enough for you."

"Did the nightmare make you think so?" Iclyn asked.

Silence fell for a few seconds as Sirius struggled to come up with an answer. However, the pegasus had already understood the situation. She moved closer to Sirius and unfolded one of her wings, gently placing it on his back. He shivered under her touch.

"What did you see in it?" she asked softly and quietly.

Sirius remained silent for another moment before inhaling deeply, collecting his thoughts.

"You getting hurt because I wasn't able to do anything." he finally replied slightly elusively, and then swallowed a lump in his throat. He sighed and then continued: "I couldn't do... a thing to the one that hurt you."

Iclyn didn't know what to say to him. Saying that nightmares don't mean anything would be wrong. The filly knew they had meaning, Princess Luna told her so when her own nightmares were happening. Maybe Sirius had something else to say?

"I'm afraid I'll lose you." he admitted with a shaky breath. He suppressed his tears as he inhaled again. He swallowed thickly as he held back the tears. He opened his mouth and then closed it. He felt it would be stupid if he said the next think on his mind.

"I'm not going anywhere, Sirius." Iclyn assured him. "I will be with you."

"It's not that..." he replied but trailed off at the end as his mind went deeper into the issue. "But... yes. It's that and more."

"You think I'll leave you?"

"...I don't know." Sirius replied, afraid to say yes. "There are better... ponies than me." he turned his head to Iclyn. "I am full of... issues, problems." he paused. "Traumas."

Iclyn listened carefully and thoughtfully, letting him speak his mind.

"Dealing with me isn't what anyone would want." the former human continued despite doubts and hesitation trying to hold him back. "I don't know why you like me so much." he turned away. "You're not with me out of pity... are you? You just... feel bad for me."

"Why would I share my thoughts and body with you if I only pitied you?" Iclyn asked with cautious interest.

"In my world, souls and bodies are sold." Sirius explained, his eyes focused on the horizon as he dared not to look at Iclyn. "They have no value. You can get your way by offering your body as payment. You can be used..." he paused as his eye twitched. "Raped. No one values anything other than... money and pleasure, dominance. And to get it they will do anything." he looked at Iclyn again. "Anything."

She looked in his eyes and saw immeasurable pain, suffering, and anxiousness. She saw him hesitating to speak as he locked his gaze with hers. However, he was determined to talk.

"This is what we humans are." he said slowly. "I am one of them." he looked down. "I just can't see what makes me good for you."

"If you are what you believe you are, would you help Wave Rider?" Iclyn asked. "Would you help Anastasia? Would you be nice to me or anyone else? Would you care about how I feel?"

Sirius had nothing to say as he listened to her words. There was nothing he could counter them with.

"Sirius, don't hate yourself for looking like bad people." the filly continued. "You are a nice, kind person. Would you even care about me back when the invasion happened? Would you almost give your life for someone you've known for just a month? Would you confess your feelings to that one?

"Don't hate yourself over mistakes and misdeeds of others. You aren't to blame for what others did. Why do you keep on hating yourself? We all have done something wrong at one point of another, we're not perfect! We accept what we've done, make amends and move on."

Iclyn inhaled deeply, and then exhaled. Sirius was still looking down at the floor, his ears flat against his skull as a deep frown was present on his face.

"You don't know..." he spoke slowly, his voice low and quiet. He opened his mouth again to speak but no words sounded. He inhaled shakily, and then exhaled. "It's just... I was born with issues." he inhaled deeply, trying to control himself. "I hurt my friends a lot. They... didn't leave but I feel like they, um... should have."

"Why do you think so?" Iclyn asked.

"I... I hurt even those I like. I couldn't control my... outbursts of anger. The smallest issue could make me want to... do horrible thing." Sirius replied, stuttering slightly. "I learned to control them over time, um... But..."

"As hard as it is to be with you, I don't regret it." the filly intervened. "Don't think that you don't deserve me. Don't hate yourself for what you're not and will never be." she leaned in and nuzzled Sirius lovingly.

He sighed, this time in relief. He nuzzled her back without thinking and then turned to her, kissing her on the cheek and then the lips. He was glad Iclyn didn't think any less of him for being a human. Maybe his self-hatred would go away someday with someone like her helping him.

Later that morning, everyone was having breakfast in the living room. Sirius, being a good host, provided everyone with plenty of food to refill their energy. He decided not to eat meat in the presence of others and saved it for later. Instead, he enjoyed the fruits and vegetables along with everyone else.

"Sirius, I can't express how grateful I am for, um, you letting me stay." Wave Rider said. "Um... This slumber party went far better than, uh, it would back at my house."

"You were the driving force behind the party, not me." Sirius replied. He had those words prepared to encourage the colt and make him feel more comfortable. "It is I who should thank you for bringing all of us together."

Wave Rider smiled, averting his eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing — not only Sirius was kind enough to let him stay but also refused to be the center of attention. The colt looked around and saw that his friends were smiling at him, and it made him feel warm inside.

As for Sirius, he was just glad he could help someone before they became like him. He thought how Wave Rider could become colder and less social due to his brother's constant bully-like behavior. The former human realized that he could prevent ponies from turning into what he became.

He didn't know Wave Rider enough to care about him as a friend but he saw how bad things were and he didn't turn a blind eye to them. He wasn't searching for worldly justice but helping someone felt nice. It made him remember his earlier childhood, his time of innocence. He had friends he was ready to help at a moment's notice. Returning to that time wouldn't be unwelcome.

Sirius smiled slightly. Things were turning better and better for him and he was glad that Iclyn encouraged him to become better, something he couldn't do before. But for that pegasus filly, he was ready to do anything.

The rest of the breakfast was spent in a comfortable silence as everyone thought about their own things.

The guests Wave Rider initially invited to his house were thinking about Sirius. Just a few weeks ago, he was an enigma, a silent mystery that didn't interact with anyone outside Iclyn and the fencing club he was in. After the invasion, he became known as the hero of Equestria who almost gave his life to save the country.

Later, a more personal side of him was revealed as those ponies saw how readily he helped Wave Rider without asking anything in return. As it turned out, Sirius wasn't a bad person in the slightest, at least according to what Coral, Coffee Mug and Coffee Bean had seen and heard. He was surprisingly nice for someone who carried a sword around and wasn't a guard. While he seemed unemotional and serious just as the guards, he allowed himself to be more talkative in a friendly environment and his secretive behavior was chosen by him.

They didn't know about his issues and mental problems, and so they assumed he was a happy person, the one to cheer others up and help as much as he could. He saved the whole class from bullies, personally helped Wave Rider, and saved Equestria by almost dying for it. Aside from his unsocial behavior, he was a very good person.

They were glad Sirius was opening up to more friendly ponies.

Wave Rider was nervous about going to the school even with his friends by his side. A confrontation with his brother Sweetwater was waiting ahead, maybe even with his own father, and he dreaded those possibilities. His gait was nervous, his eyes darted around as they couldn't find a place to look at. He often looked around, fearing his brother was nearby. His ears were drooped, a frown on his face.

Sirius walked confidently, a longsword at his side. He knew it had become his most recognizable feature and he wanted it to remain that way. He wasn't going to use it in an upcoming confrontation but it would force his opponents not to attack him. He was in control of the situation even without engaging in it first.

Aside from Sirius, there was Iclyn and Anastasia alongside the two colts. Both of them were quite nervous about the unavoidable argument and possibly a fight. Both of them hoped Sirius wouldn't use his sword.

When the four reached the school, they saw two ponies walking their way. They were Sweetwater and a bigger unicorn stallion that had almost the same coloration as Wave Rider but had a darker, almost black mane. He also bore a blade just like Sirius did.

As for the small colt, his pupils dilated as his ears folded against his head. He stopped in his tracks and lowered his head in fear.

"Evading punishment for misbehavior is no way to go for a stallion." the bigger stallion shook his head slightly. A frown was present on his face but he spoke calmly.

Sirius stepped forward, anger in his eyes. He wasn't going to let anything bad happen to Wave Rider. The stallion glanced at the former human, noticing the sword. His memory helped him recognize that the colt he saw before himself was the one that took part in the fight for Canterlot a few weeks ago. While the father hadn't seen him personally before, he heard rumors about him going around, especially among those guards that were stationed near the hall where the wedding took place.

It was rumored that Sirius took on at least ten changelings at once and killed them all without effort. It made the stallion tense, and he saw how the former human noticed it as well. Both were ready to fight if needed, their bodies subconsciously adjusting in stances to prepare for it.

"Does it mean that a brother may beat up his family?" the former human spoke through gritted teeth, making the brothers' father focus on the present. "Is bullying your own brother a punishment, then?"

The father's frown deepened. He didn't know if Sirius was saying the truth but it couldn't appear out of thin air. He turned to his younger son to ask him a question while still having Sirius in his field of view.

"Did Sweetwater... beat you up?" he asked softly.

"Uh..." Wave gulped loudly. "H-he did..."

"It wasn't sparring?" the father inclined.

"I-it wasn't." the colt stuttered. "Dad... I can't do it. I don't l-like military." he said nervously. He felt the support of his friends and so he finally spoke his mind.

"Sweetwater..." the father turned to the older brother. "Did you force him into this? I thought he wanted it just like you did."

Sweetwater could say nothing as he stared at the ground.

"The Royal Guard is a brotherhood. We don't bully those who don't want to be a part of us. We know it's not for everyone." the father explained, his voice still calm. "All these years... And here I thought that you couldn't go wrong. I thought both of you wanted to follow in my steps. I guess I was wrong..." he sighed. "But Wave, why did you hide it from me?"

"I, I didn't want to upset you." the colt replied, looking down.

"...I'm sorry, son. I should have put my family before my job." the father said apologetically. "I wasn't there for you when you needed me and look how it had turned out... I want to right my wrongs."

"I, um, I'll just stay with my friends for a while..." Wave Said quietly. "Please?"

"I understand. Take your time." the stallion nodded, and then turned to the elder brother. "As for you Sweetwater, we're going to have a long, long talk."

Sirius couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was that adult being... reasonable and responsive? The former human expected him to protect the way of his elder son. A lot of parents never admit that their children are not perfect.

This confrontation made Sirius think about his own family. His parents were nice to him, and he had no siblings. But it wasn't all. For the first time in many years, he thought about what a loving relationship could lead to. Maybe he would have his own family someday?

At any rate, he needed to go to school and study first. After Sweetwater and his father left, the group of friends continued their walk to the school. There was a busy day ahead of them.

Author's Notes:

A lot of times parents don't know what happens to their children. Once they find out, however...

The most of this chapter was written in the college. As you might've already guessed, it was extremely boring.

Chapter 67: Through the Eyes of Others

As Sirius limped down the hallway to the classroom he needed, he couldn't help but notice ponies glancing and even staring at him. They tried to pretend like they didn't look but the former human could see the truth quite clearly as his eyes scanned the surroundings.

His longsword bumped against his side as he walked, creating a peculiar noise that was almost silent but could be instantly recognizable. There was a faint rattle as well as irregular gait that made Sirius stand out in terms of making sounds. Because of his limp, the way he walked was different from others' especially in terms of rhythm. There was a slight increase in speed as soon as his injured leg was used. It was a subtle thing but others noticed it without even realizing it.

All the students in the school came to know whom Sirius was. In their eyes he was a warrior, a protector who would stand up against evil no matter how big it would be. He might be silent during the classes but his actions spoke for themselves, making him quite an interesting pony to look at.

He was admired by most, envied by some, and even feared by a certain few, mainly the troublemakers that messed with other students or even teachers. No one approached him due to the ever so subtle fear and uncertainty. However, there were positive sides to being famous. Colts wanted to be like him: brave, strong, and willful. Fillies liked him because of those qualities and more: mystery, looks, and the ability to defend others. No one knew where he came from, a strange pony with a foreign name not seen before, but he managed to win the Grand Tournament of Equestria and save the country from evil changelings and their power-hungry queen. He did it all by himself, going through fire and frost to do what had to be done.

Sirius had become a legendary pony like the famous bearers of the Elements of Harmony, but in a different and much more interesting way. While the bearers were just normal ponies possessing artifacts of immense power, he was self-sufficient warrior from the unknown, having fighting skills to match even those of Nightmare Moon, the darker alter-ego of Princess Luna that was feared to this day.

No one knew who Sirius was or what he felt. The only pony he talked to was Iclyn and no one dared questioning her about him, fearing his wrath. He had proven to be capable of hurting others without any restraint, something most ponies couldn't do even in extreme situations, as rare as they were at the time. He was an enigma, a mystery, someone who could be seen clearly but not through. He wasn't hiding or running away, he was out in the open and didn't fear to do what he deemed necessary to be done.

Sirius stared ahead of himself as he walked through the school. His eyes bore a fake careless and slightly tired look, his pace of walking was slow, his movements seemingly relaxed but still fluid. He moved through the crowd of ponies with ease as most of them stepped aside to let him pass, ignoring anyone and anything, including the stares and even signs of affection from single fillies

To those fillies, he looked quite well indeed even without taking into account his personality traits. While he wasn't exactly muscular, he was slim, something that was rare among stallions of his height. Speaking of his height, he was taller than most ponies of his age, he was even taller than a lot of adults. It made him stand out of the crowd and be quite noticeable among the students.

His very short mane gave him the appearance of a warrior from the past. He had barely noticeable white streaks in his mane, telling those who saw them about how many things he had been through. Sirius intended to keep the mane short so that the white in it wouldn't be too noticeable.

Another permanent damage to his body were the scars. They didn't make him ugly at all, instead making him handsome in an interesting way. While scars can be disfiguring, Sirius didn't have any hideous scars on his face, and so he didn't have to worry about looking ugly. In truth, even in pony culture and society, scars meant masculinity and strength, especially among the pegasi.

His purple eyes had something in themselves as well, making it easy to get lost in them. When he talked to anyone, he tended to look into their eyes as if he wanted to see their very soul. Some found it interesting, others found it scary, but all could agree that his look was hypnotizing. It could also be heavy and unsettling at times but it was rare.

Sometimes, fangs could be seen in his mouth when he spoke or ate, making others guess that he had lunar pegasi heritage, and that kind of ponies was rare to meet outside of the largely unknown Night Guard of Princess Luna.

Despite everything, Sirius walked confidently. His steps told others of his strength and will to continue going no matter what. Even his limp didn't make him look weaker, instead making him look like a battle-hardened veteran who went through inferno and frost and dusted off the ash and snow like it was nothing.

Finally, Sirius, Iclyn, Anastasia, and Wind Rider entered the classroom. Taking their respective places, they prepared for the lessons to start. There was just a few students in the classroom aside from the four. Interestingly, Sweetwater seemed to be absent.

"Sirius, I want to ask you something." Iclyn said quietly, gaining the attention of the former human. "Ever since we made love, you've barely, well, showed any affection to me. Is something wrong?"

"Should we discuss it right now?" Sirius replied just as quietly as he looked around. It looked like no one was listening to their conversation.

"I just want to know." the filly explained. "I, um... I haven't hurt you, have I?"

"No... I just don't want to do anything in public."

"Well, uh, pretty much the whole school assumed we've been a thing since the first week." Iclyn said. "There shouldn't be a problem, really. You can do anything to me if you want. Heck, even bend me over and do it right here if you like."

Sirius glanced at her in surprise, his cheeks bearing a pink tint. He nervously fidgeted in place as he processed what was told to him. The idea of having sex again did come up a few times but he didn't want to bother Iclyn with it. He wasn't sure if he could make the first move.

"Even that? In public?" he asked with great uncertainty after looking around once again. "Won't it get us both in trouble?"

"Well, I have no idea, actually." Iclyn shrugged. "But I heard the rumors that it had happened a few times. I don't know about the consequences, though." she placed her forelegs on the desk and lifted herself up slightly. "I guess you want to do that?"

"...No. I'm just curious." he shook his head, and Iclyn sat down. "I'm... not into that." he added nervously, and then said: "I'm, um, not very... romantic or even, uh... I don't even know anything about relationships."

"It's still okay to show some love, you know?" the filly leaned in and kissed him on the lips. He returned the soft kiss but didn't continue it, opting to part instead.

"I'm... not comfortable. I'm sorry." he said as he averted his eyes.

"It's alright." Iclyn assured him. "Still, it's an option whenever you want to do it."

Meanwhile, Anastasia was blushing as she turned away from the two. That display of love left her flustered as she nervously shifted in place and tried to look at something that wasn't either of two lovers.

She remembered that Stanislav didn't show anything to her at the school or anywhere else. He never tried to kiss her or even touch her without permission. At that time, she dismissed it as just him being awkward and nervous around girls. However, he did care for her in a number of different ways that didn't involve physical contact. He was always there for her when she needed him, always ready to listen to whatever she had to say, and he did it regardless of his own problems.

The girl sighed quietly, her ears folded and her eyes looking down, her posture weak and fragile. She wished those simple days of youth could return. She would study with Stanislav again and have no worries about anything. Maybe she would be able to act differently? She never knew how to respond to his affection that seemed all too sudden for her back then.

He was one of her best friends. While he was never talkative even with her, he was a good listener and was always willing to share his thoughts and give advice if asked for it. Anastasia had no idea he had been harboring deeper feeling for her, and those feelings went beyond friendship.

Maybe she could've handled the situation differently? She didn't know. She never had the natural ability of Stanislav to read people's thoughts. He could always see behind the masks of others and the girl was always fascinated by it. She knew it wasn't mind reading, he could be fooled. However, most people didn't have that ability to wear an impenetrable mask that he wore.

Anastasia remembered how strange he looked when he first entered the school she was studying at. They were both twelve, him being a few months older than her. He wore casual clothes of dark colors that didn't catch the eye. Those clothes were slightly baggy, hiding his almost unhealthily skinny appearance. His dark-brown hair was messy and unwashed, his skin pale, and his dark-green eyes bore a heavy gaze.

"How about you introduce yourself to us?" their teacher said. Stanislav was standing in front of the whole class, his discomfort hidden underneath a neutral and seemingly bored expression as he stared at the shelves at the end of the classroom.

"I'm Stanislav Zima." the boy said quietly but still loud enough to be heard. Anastasia looked at him with interest. It seemed he was from Russia, judging by his name and surname. However, there was absolutely no accent. "I came from another city. You can call me just Stas."

With those few words being said, he went silent as he observed his new classmates, his gaze going from one face to another. He gave equal time to everyone, including his future friend. No one had caught his interest as of yet.

"Well," the teacher said, breaking the silence. "You may take a seat, Stanislav."

The boy nodded and went to the desk where Anastasia was sitting, which was right in front of the blackboard. He sat down to her left and unpacked his things. He put just a few items onto the desk: a notebook, a pencil, a pen, a ruler, and an eraser. He didn't even bother to say hello to the classmate he shared the desk with. He stared at the teacher as she began writing on the blackboard and explain what was being written.

Anastasia wrote down what the teacher dictated to the students. She often glanced at Stanislav only to see him staring at the blackboard, following teacher's hand with his eyes.

The teacher turned around to explain something and immediately noticed that the new student hadn't written a thing.

"Is there a problem, Stanislav?" she asked him warily.

"No, there isn't." he shook his head, seemingly not understanding the issue.

Everyone looked at him, interested in the reason why the teacher asked him about that. He felt uncomfortable under so many stares but he didn't let it show as he looked at the teacher.

"Why aren't you writing, then?" she inclined, a small frown present on her face.

"I'm listening." Stanislav replied. "Trying to understand."

"Understanding comes with learning, and to learn something you need to have it first." she replied. "Be so kind and write everything down, boy."

"Why?" came a genuine question.

"If I check later and not see a single word, you'll get a bad mark." the teacher turned back to the black. "So, students, here we..."

The lesson continued normally from then on. However, Stanislav was scolded at by the end of the lesson since he had very little in his notebook. It was his first warning from a teacher, and the girl was sure he was angered by it judging by the look on his face.

Even back then, he was a very interesting and yet a strange person. He was never afraid to question what he found illogical or unreasonable. He had changed since then, and Anastasia didn't know if Sirius did such things anymore. He surely stood up for himself and those he cared about, that trait of his hadn't changed in the slightest.

It was a simple and good time back then. At least she wasn't stuck in another world for who knows how long.

She felt as lonely as ever. Her mind was clouded by dark thoughts as she thought once again about returning home. Princess Luna promised her to find a way but if there was none? What would she do then? She missed her family and friends very much, would she be able to move on?

She hoped there was an answer to each of those questions.

The classes were uneventful and passed as usual, just as they should. After the final class was over, the four went to the cafeteria to grab a bite before going home. The colt was walking with a smile on his face. It seemed like he would fly up to the ceiling while not being a pegasus judging by the spring in his step. His ears were perked up and his eyes were beaming with happiness ever since he met his father. With the issue resolved, he had nothing else to fear. Most importantly, he was supported by his friends and it seemed he befriended Sirius as well.

Wave glanced at the former human and couldn't help but wonder about why did he help him. Sirius wasn't the most friendliest type of pony there was and he had met Wave Rider just once outside the school, and even then the two didn't talk much, especially about anything that would lead to friendship between the two. The colt had to admit that he was wrong about Sirius — he expected him to stand aside or not do much. Instead, Wave could say his life changed because of him.

As for Sirius, he didn't think about it too much. He expected nothing in return, and he did what he did for his own reasons, not because of obligations or anything meaningful like friendship. He was glad the issue was resolved peacefully, though. In truth, he didn't expect it to go like it did and he was surprised he didn't have to use any force to make things better. He remembered having problems with Anastasia's parents because of their strictness but he never dared to speak against it.

Anastasia was pretty relaxed after the classes ended, her dark thoughts gone. It was a long way for her to learn the language but she was already getting a hang on other things such as geography and math, the lessons that she went through on that day. She didn't graduate on top of her class for nothing, after all.

The only person that just enjoyed the presence of her friends without much thinking was Iclyn. She tried not to thing much about what had recently happened — she was looking forward to the future and living in the present. She just hoped that she would spend a good life with the one she loved — Sirius. She walked near him, her side almost pressing against his. However, she wasn't sure he'd like her to show affection to him in public.

They sat down at one of the tables after they grabbed the food they wanted. They ate in a comfortable silence, each in their own thoughts. Some ponies joined them soon and tried to talk. Anastasia and Sirius were silent for their own reasons, Wave Rider was slightly talkative, and Iclyn was speaking most of the times. There were some questions that weren't too importnat, it was more like a friendly chat than anything else.

"Sirius, how are you so good with swords and yet you don't have a special mark?" one of them asked.

"I learned how to do it." he replied. "It doesn't take talent to learn. Spend years of training and you'll be just as good."

"I... don't really believe you." the questioner said. "I mean, to do something as well as you do sword stuff you just have to have talent."

"Perhaps." Sirius nodded slightly. He didn't think that it was talent that allowed him to get that good. He had a need, and he fulfilled it. Nothing more, nothing less. He wasn't inclined to argue over what he knew was true.

"Hey, Sirius!" a voice came from his side. He turned to its source and saw a filly roughly the age of his classmates. "Wanna bang?"

"I have a fillyfriend." he said, putting a foreleg around Iclyn and moving her closer, a slight frown on his face.

"Not planning on creating a herd yet?" the filly continued.

Sirius shook his head.

"Aw... Alright."

The filly went away, swishing her tail, flashing her private parts at Sirius. He didn't look, however. Instead, he pulled Iclyn and kissed her on the lips, showing others that she belonged to him and he belonged to her. He was certain he wouldn't need anyone else besides her. However, he did it out of his love and not because of the desire to prove anyone anything.

Iclyn was surprised but gave in to the kiss and closed her eyes. The kiss was slightly messy because of the food but it still felt nice for both of them.

"Uh, Sirius, I need to tell you something." Iclyn said after the two parted. "My parents need some help, and I planned to visit them anyway, and so I will have returned by tomorrow's morning. It's really personal between me and them, but I'll introduce you to them in the future if you'd like."

"Alright. Have a good time with your family, Iclyn." Sirius nodded with understanding. He knew how important family is. Unfortunately, he no longer had anyone but he wished the best for Iclyn.

He returned to the mansion without Anastasia. The girl decided to stay at the school and learn Commonlang by herself. Hesitantly, Sirius let her go and went home alone. He understood that she could just be searching for a different place to study at. Maybe she would befriend a few ponies, who knew? As with Iclyn, Sirius wished her the best. After everything that had happened to her because of him, she deserved something good.

As soon as he was back at the mansion, he took a refreshing shower before going to bed to rest. His injured leg felt uncomfortable, it was buzzing, and he needed to rest so that the sensation wouldn't become actually painful. He hated the fact that he couldn't use his legs as much as he used to but at least he didn't have to use a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

He limped to the bedroom and entered it. He put the sheathed sword near the bed and sighed, feeling the tiredness and even loneliness. He already wanted Iclyn to be back.

Sirius noticed something odd. One of her drawers was opened, what looked like a blue piece of paper partly seen in it. He remembered seeing something similar some time ago. He picked it up and brought it closer.

It was a midnight-blue envelope with a broken silvery wax stamp. He immediately recognized whom it was from. He frowned slightly — the stamp he had used once was intact. Another letter?

He looked inside it. There, he found a piece of paper. He pulled it out and took a look at it.

He read it. His pupils dilated, his brows going up, his mouth opened slightly, his ears folded against his head as his breathing and heartbeat increased. Anger appeared in his eyes as the letter began to shake in his magical grasp.

Dear Iclyn,

Sirius is dangerous to enemies and wary with others. Take it easy with him, it might be hard to be his roommate.

Sincerely,

Princess Luna

Author's Notes:

Confrontation with Princess Luna is inevitable now. What so you think about Sirius' next course of action? What will he do? I would like to take a look at your guesses.

Chapter 68: The Deathly Duel

Sirius read and reread the letter a couple of times, unsettling thoughts buzzing in his head. His eyes darted through words, sweat rolled down his forehead as his body shivered slightly. He tried to find something, anything that would disprove his current thoughts, something that would make sense. He turned the letter around to see if there was something else, something that he had missed. Alas, there was nothing. That piece of paper contained the painful truth.

Princess Luna had set this all up, he realized. Iclyn wouldn't talk to him if not for the fear of disappointing the nightly alicorn. She was forced to work with him, to be with him, to listen to his problems and complaints. Sirius was sure she wouldn't be of much help to him otherwise. He was also certain that she had to send letters describing the progress, satisfying the princess of the night. Iclyn might or might not have received instructions on how to act. But one thing was clear — Luna was behind all of this, and the evidence was right in front of Sirius' very eyes.

Unfortunately, the princess managed to bring help even though Sirius didn't ask for it. She tried to get inside his head, and it was something the former human would never forgive and forget, he would never accept help from someone like her. She fooled him by finding a proxy to get the information out of him, and it didn't matter if Iclyn indeed had feelings for him or not.

It all made sense in his head. Maybe Iclyn genuinely loved him, maybe she helped him out of her kindness, but Luna forced her to step in. Otherwise, it would've taken a longer time or Sirius would've committed suicide once again.

And then, there was Anastasia. It couldn't be a simple coincidence that she appeared in the new world. Sirius told Iclyn about his old love interest, and just a few days later the girl appeared out of nowhere. He didn't know how Luna could bring her to Equestria but he was sure it was her who did it and had the means to do so. If Anastasia truly cared for him, she would've appeared there or returned to his life much, much earlier, maybe even before his suicide. Sirius saw how she didn't like being in the new world — she was away from those she knew, and even he realized he was no longer the same. She was stressed almost as much as he had been when he appeared in the new world, and there was nothing the former human could do for her, and all was because of Luna.

Sirius exhaled sharply. It must be put to an end. The nightly princess must no longer mess with him or change his life. He explicitly told her to stop doing it and yet there she was, machinating behind his back, manipulating others, forcing them to comply one way or another. She definitely knew the way out of this world, and she harmed Anastasia by not telling her. It was all done for Sirius to stay under Luna's control.

The former human knew he had to do something about it or he wouldn't be able to forgive himself. Without Luna's control, his life would become peaceful and most importantly honest. Iclyn would no longer fear her, and she would reveal her real feelings, be it love she claimed she had for him or just a mask she had to wear to please him, to ease his mind.

Sirius felt like his very soul was raped and abused, his feelings twisted and manipulated, his mind played with like a chewing toy of a rabid dog. His eye twitched as he realized that he wouldn't achieve what he got if not for intervention. Luna was behind him at every step, using her power to make it seem like his life was finally turning for the better when in truth it wasn't.

He had to confront her about it. He must fight her, prove her that what he meant was true and he wouldn't hesitate to even kill her if she continued doing it.

He didn't care that she had good intentions. He had never asked for it. He told her he didn't need her help. Maybe he could've achieved something by himself but he would never know because of Luna.

This wasn't what he wanted. He would never know if Iclyn loved him genuinely. However, he could find out if her feelings were true by dueling the princess. Without Luna's control, the filly he loved so much would tell him the truth, and he would be very happy if her feelings were indeed loving. If they weren't, however... He realized it would make him a rapist. A proxy used by Luna, but a rapist nonetheless. If Iclyn didn't love him, she couldn't feel good during her sex with him. Even worse, he deflowered her, took her virginity. It was a crime he would never forgive himself for doing. He would rather kill himself than be forced to do it. However, it was out of his control, he could never know it.

If only he found the letter earlier, many thing could've been avoided or changed. Or he would be dead and no one would have to suffer because of him.

Sirius stood up and buckled his sword to his side. He thought about bringing his revolver but decided against it. The duel would be close and personal. If he fell during it, he would accept it and embrace his death. He didn't deserve anything if he couldn't fight for it and most importantly win, come out a victor.

He looked under the bed and saw a black bag. He untied it and pulled out the only thing that would bring him on equal terms with the princess.

The Alicorn Amulet. The most powerful artifact in existence, it would be enough to fight someone as powerful as Luna. It glowed with an eerie red light as he pulled it closer. He thought it couldn't control him, at least not completely. He would be able to take it off once he defeated Luna. He would then forget about it and hide it once again in case her sister or other powerful beings came to claim his body and soul.

He sighed shakily as he locked the amulet around his neck. As soon as it was done, he felt immense, absolute power, his negative emotions amplifying it even further as his hate and anger grew. Every known spell in existence, every counter-spell, it was all his. He knew how to make someone old, young or dead. He felt magic vibrating and resonating around him, its waves entering and exiting him freely. He could feel where different ponies were, he felt their magic: some had weaker, and others had stronger. There were just a few beings as powerful as he was with the amulet. He knew them, he felt them, and he knew who was whom.

A sinister red tint appeared in his irises as his frown deepened, his heartbeat increasing as his body filled with power. His mind became blank, and there was the only goal, the ultimate goal of his life.

He realized he must fight Luna to the death. There was no way around it, no way to find out the truth but erase her from existence, removing the fear associated with her as well.

Become free. Kill Luna.

Princess Luna was tending to her wound by changing the bandage around it. As she had found out earlier, the wound couldn't be healed by magic as it was done by magic and some sort of a spell prevented it from healing. She had to use more traditional methods, and they required more time.

The cut was deep, however it wasn't enough to damage her muscles, nerves or cords, but it was painful and irritating. It kept her from walking without pain and she didn't even know how she could've gotten it in the first place.

She remembered fighting the nightmarish figure in Anastasia's mind. It moved fast, and the way it did so very well represented the fighting style of Sirius. That figure represented him, and Anastasia blamed herself for his apparent suicide, something that was clearly demonstrated in her recent nightmare.

Luna fought the figure, and it managed to hit her once but she didn't notice it at that time. It could've ended badly if the cut was deep enough to damage her more that it already had. She had never known that something like that happening in dreams could result in consequences in reality and thus she needed to remember to be cautious in human dreams.

Luna found herself thinking about those humans. Did all of them have deep mental issues and problems? Or maybe it was just Sirius and those he knew? What were other humans like? Were their dreams dangerous to dream-walkers like herself? She suspected it might've been a defensive mechanism that usually doesn't work without magic.

They were indeed very interesting specie, shaped by a world Luna could see only a glimpse of in Anastasia's dreams and sometimes leaking memories. At the first glance, her world looked like the most modern Equestrian cities but even more advanced. There were giant bird-like machines in the skies, self-propelled metallic carriages, trains without steam powering them, and even small things that represented wireless phones but had many other extra features, something Luna hadn't seen in Equestria or anywhere else. Even minotaurs, the most technologically advanced nation, didn't have those technologies.

But for every positive thing, there were negative sides. Litter, pollution, harsh and cruel people. When progress marches forward, people stay as they were, their nature doesn't change. Ideals are always hard to change or replace. Luna knew that people in the cities tended to be less caring, but it was nothing compared to some humans she saw in Anastasia's dreams and memories.

Suddenly, a piece of paper appeared in front of Luna, startling her slightly. She warily took it in her magic and brought closer. It looked like a letter, the words on it were obviously written in haste.

We have some things to settle, princess. Come here, alone.

Sirius.

As soon as she finished reading the letter, an image flashed before her eyes. It was a lake, and she immediately recognized it. A frown appeared on her face — she knew something wasn't right. The letter was radiating with anger and faint, barely noticeable hatred that was hidden not to well.

The letter she had received raised some obvious red flags. She knew it would be extremely dangerous to come to Sirius alone. She could always summon her sword or use her magic but something wasn't right and she didn't know what. There was something very important that she was unfortunately missing, but what?

Luna knew one thing. For some reason, Sirius was very angry at her. Was it Anastasia's dream that caused it? The nightly alicorn didn't know and there was only one way to find out. But before going there, she wanted to make sure there was a backup plan in case things co wrong.

Luna travelled to the lake Birthwater by flying. She flew high in the skies, making sure no pony would be able to see her. There were gray clouds in the sky, and they helped her move in secret. As she neared the lake, she felt something that almost made her turn around and call for help as immense fear encompassed her, almost cutting off her breath. She stumbled in midair and almost lost her control.

She could feel the hate and anger radiating from the center of the lake. There was also something else... Sadness? She felt something in the back of her mind, something that was suppressed so that she wouldn't able to pick it up.

The alicorn descended and landed on the lake's shore. The lake itself was wrapped in mist, she could barely see mere two meters in it. The surface pf the water was covered in red-tinted ice.

Just like in Anastasia's nightmare.

Luna stopped. She needed to think before entering the mist. Did that figure of nightmares arrived in this world by manifesting inside Sirius? She didn't know if it could happen but she didn't disregard the possibility. She must be very cautious — danger could be waiting for her anywhere.

She could return and call in the Royal Guard and her sister, maybe even the Elements of Harmony. However, something told her, forced her to drop that idea. She must confront whatever was inside the fog all by herself. If it was a fight, it was her fight.

She raised her hoof and prepared to move forward, but froze in place. From inside the thick mist, she could see a pair of hateful eyes. They were purple, but their centers were red. They glared at her before disappearing a few moments later.

Luna released a breath she didn't know she was holding. She had seen many a thing in her long life: hateful beasts, fallen heroes, monsters from the darkest places there were in the world, but she didn't know who was the one who was glaring at her just a moment ago.

Of course she knew it was Sirius. But who was he? What had made him into what he was? And most importantly, why did Luna feel so afraid? Sirius didn't posses great magical skill or strength. He was of no danger to her... was he?

She put her hoof down. She must find out what happened before it's too late. And so, she entered the mist.

https://youtu.be/CjOD9VhQDzE

"Princesssss Luna..." a voice spoke, coming from everywhere, seemingly pressing on her ears. The voice was like a whisper and yet it was booming, causing Luna to look around frantically for its source. "I found out what you've done..."

She could answer nothing as she continued moving forward, readying herself for the obviously inevitable battle. Sirius held a hateful grudge against her, she realized. It would be a fight to the death.

"I found that letter. You made Iclyn get close to me." the same voice continued, the voice of Sirius. "You forced her to be mine. You made me... rape her, you monster!"

The scream deafened Luna, making her stop and fold her ears.

"I've not... done it, Sirius!" she said, gasping for air as if something was choking her. "What... letter?"

"Don't be stupid!" Sirius replied angrily, and a piece of paper appeared in front of Luna. She picked up and read it.

"It's not what you think it is!" she said, looking around. "I didn't make her do anything!"

"You're lying!" Sirius replied, his voice filled with burning hatred. "No one would want to be with me. You made her do what she wouldn't have otherwise!" the voice paused. It spoke again in a few seconds, it became eerily calm: "Do you know... how it feels to be raped?"

Luna didn't know what to reply. She had no idea how to respond to that hateful statement. She sensed something was wrong with Sirius. It wasn't supposed to be like that.

"You won't know... Because it will be done once I murder you!"

Sirius jumped at her, swinging his sword. Luna dodged to the side, avoiding a vertical slash. She summoned her sword and blocked the next hit he threw at her. He pushed, aggressively swinging his weapon, desperately trying to strike Luna.

She looked at him. His eyes were bloodshot, the pupil glowing red. On his chest, an amulet lay. The Alicorn Amulet.

Luna understood what was wrong. She must convince Sirius to take it off... Somehow.

He struck again, breaking her line of thought. He fiercely sent a hit after hit, forcing Luna into defense. He left no room for counterattacking as he pushed onwards, making the alicorn to take steps back.

She pushed him away with magic and tried to teleport herself out.

"You think you can do it so simply?" Sirius asked, growling. Then he immediately thrusted, almost getting Luna as she dodged.

"Take off the amulet, it controls you!" she pleaded.

"No one controls me!" the former human retorted as he tried to hit her again and again. He became closer to her, forcing her blade away.

Luna used her magic to throw him away. With a grunt, he flew off into the mist and landed somewhere with a loud thud and a crack. A cry went through the mist. The alicorn turned around and started galloping, hoping to get out of there.

Sirius lay on the ice, his hind leg broken open, his blood leaking out of it. He groaned and cried in suffering as agonizing pain shot through his whole body as he tried to move. But he knew he must get up, he knew he must fight. Luna couldn't be allowed to escape, she mustn't leave or even live.

He used powerful healing magic, snapping his bones back in place. His flesh and skin regenerated in a few seconds, leaving not a scar. He jumped onto his hooves, charging his horn with magic. He made the mist go away, leaving only some at the lake's borders.

"You can't run!" he bellowed as he saw Luna trying to get out of his magical dome.

She stopped doing it and turned around. She landed on the ice and locked her eyes with Sirius'. She lit her horn while lowering her sword.

"I don't want to do this, Sirius." Luna said, charging up her spell. "We can sort everything out. Take off the amulet, and I will not hurt you. We can solve this misunderstanding, it doesn't have to end like this."

"I understand everything clearly." Sirius said, his voice threateningly calm once again. "Either you or I will die today. No other way, your majesty." he raised his sword and took an offensive stance.

"I'm afraid you leave me no choice, Sirius." Luna finished charging up her spell. "I'm sorry."

She released a powerful ball of magic, hurling it at Sirius with great force. It flew through air quickly and exploded upon impact, cracking the ice along the whole lake, vaporizing it in its center. The deafening explosion left Luna's ears ringing as she turned away from the blast.

It had to be done. Those who can't take off the amulet could only be killed. That was the only way of taking it off not by the bearer.

Out from the vapor, Sirius charged at Luna, unscathed. He let out a roar as he slid on the ice, going for a deadly stab.

Alicorn's eyes widened in shock as she dodged to the side. The former human followed up with a swing, trying to get her by surprise. They began exchanging hits, both of them moving swiftly, their hits fast and precise, but neither managed to wound the other. They fought fiercely, not letting either take the upper hand in the duel, they fought equally.

Nothing but the clashes of their swords sounded. Sirius had years of practice, Luna had decades, but she hadn't been practicing ever since her banishment. Unfortunately, she started to lose as it became increasingly difficult for her to respond to Sirius' actions.

He grabbed his sword by the blade and swung it vertically. Luna tried to block the hit but it went through her defence, hitting her horn with the pommel.

She was forced to drop her sword as she felt immense pain in her head. She let out a pained cry and closed her eyes, tears of suffering appearing in them. She was incapacitated and no longer able to fight.

Sirius dropped his own sword and tackled Luna with a growl of hatred. She fell, hitting her own head, disorienting herself. The former human pinned her to the solid icy surface, and choked her with his magic.

"Do you know what is one of the most terrifying ways to die?" he asked her in a gravely tone, his flaming eyes glaring at her. "Drowning!"

He bashed her head against the ice, making it crack under her. Soon, a part of it was broken off. Sirius removed the ice and threw the chunks way, revealing cold water below.

The two slid closer the hole, and the former human forced Luna's head underwater. She gurgled helplessly as her nose and mouth filled with water, her limbs flailing as she desperately tried to get out. The former human held her tightly, not allowing her anything.

Sirius pulled her out before she could pass out. Luna coughed out the water as she blinked, trying to clear her eyes. Before she could regain her focus, she was forcefully shoved into the hole again. A few seconds later, she was pulled back.

"I will make it last!" Sirius used his hoof to punch her in the face, making her muzzle bleed. "Can you feel it, princess? Can you feel this pain? This is how you make me feel!" he hit her again, and then pushed her head back into the water.

Suddenly, something hit him in the chest, sending him flying. He landed a few dozens of meters away, the landing making him lose coordination and focus. He opened his eyes again and saw a painfully familiar face above him.

"Why, Sirius?" she said, her eyes full of tears. Gurgling sounded from behind, and the face disappeared. "Princess!"

Sirius rolled over and stood up on his shaking legs. It was it. Iclyn, the one he loved, left him to help someone who fooled him and her. The hurtful truth was unveiled. He teleported his sword to himself.

"Sirius, stop!" Iclyn shouted, calling him. He looked at her and saw her trembling, the body of Luna lying by her side. The princess coughed and rolled on her side. "It's the amulet, not you!"

Did it matter? What was done mattered, not an artifact. There was no going back, no return. Luna fooled him, made him suffer. Iclyn left him, left him to suffer. Anastasia didn't care for him, no one did. And all of it was his own fault.

He wasn't good enough. He wasn't nice enough. He was broken, shattered into many pieces, and no one would ever be willing to put them back together, to make him whole again. It just wasn't worth it.

"Sirius, whatever you think about, don't do it! Take that thing off, please!" the filly pleaded as tears rolled down her cheeks. The princess was weak as she lay nearby, trying to gain enough strength to stop this madness.

Sirius raised his sword. It was time to end it all. He always knew it would come to this. He should've known better than trying to find new life, it was simply not what he deserved. The delay was long, and he was finally coming to what he should've done at the beginning, even before he attempted to leave the wretched lake.

There was nothing for him. No desires, no dreams, no hopes. Nothing mattered, after all.

"Sirius, please, listen to me!"

Inhale, exhale. It was hard to do it. He gathered what remained of his strength as his sword shook in his grasp. He knew he must do it, he knew he mustn't hesitate. There were no doubts, only determination to finally end it all.

Such a miserable life wasn't worth this much suffering.

"P-please!"

Nothing remained. Suffering had to end. It had gone on for way too long, making him think something could be changed when it never could.

"I lo—"

Sirius thrusted his sword through his chest. He fell to the ground, letting out a grunt. He felt no pain yet but he knew he soon would. However, he wasn't going to wait for it. He must finish what he started.

"SIRIUS!" a desperate cry sounded but it fell on deaf ears.

He knew that the blackness would wrap him soon. He just needed to make sure it would be complete before anyone forced him to continue living.

He pulled his sword out. It was covered in blood from point to the guard. The red liquid streamed from the hole and dripped onto the ice, painting it crimson. The color of life, and it was leaving him.

He released the sword, and it fell on the ice. The sound of rattling steel was muffled to Sirius as he stared into nothing.

He fell on the ice, his final breath escaping him, turning into vapor. His eyes closed as he felt something cold and harsh pressing against his body. It was the end and it wasn't like he imagined it to be.

No satisfaction, no warmth. He felt the darkness encompassing him as the rays of the sun couldn't get through the eyelids anymore.

The amulet was released, its glow ceasing.

It fell on the ice.

Author's Notes:

Wait for the epilogue.

Also, I would like to hear your opinion on the music I've included in this chapter.

Epilogue: Eigengrau

Iclyn was pacing back and forth near the door to the medical station, her heart racing and her body tense, tear stains visible under her tired eyes. She couldn't find a place for herself ever since Sirius' lifeless body was hastily brought to the hospital. A giant hole in his chest left little hope for his survival.

Princess Luna refused to discuss anything and retired to her chambers. The only thing she had said was that she didn't blame Sirius. She took away the artifact and swore to keep it hidden. The nightly alicorn promised that she would do everything in her power to try to bring Sirius back.

The pegasus filly had a good look on Luna right after the duel. Her muzzle was in bruises, her usually ethereal starlit mane was flat and uninteresting, and blood was coming out of her nostrils. There was a long open wound on her foreleg as well, a bandage hanging loosely around it.

Truth be told, Iclyn was impressed that Sirius was strong enough to defeat Luna. At the same time, she feared he would've killed her there and then, and who knew what he would've done next with the amulet influencing him. How far would he go, thinking that what he was doing was right? Would anyone be able to stop him? Even her words didn't stop him from doing the unthinkable.

She knew that amulet was evil but she didn't expect Sirius to use it. She had hoped he would never have to but something tipped him off. But what? What could've possibly caused him to use it?

With Luna gone, Iclyn could only guess. However, it wasn't on her mind too much, she was more concerned about Sirius' wellbeing. She loved him with all her heart, and it pained her to see him in such great suffering.

She sat down on one of the benches and covered her eyes. She couldn't believe it was happening. Just a few hours ago everything was going so well, he and herself were happy, and life looked like it was turning for the better.

She whispered his name and sobbed. Images of him putting a sword through his chest flashed before her eyes, making her want to hide in a dark and gentle place, curl up into a ball and cry until she fell asleep. It had to be a nightmare, it just had to. Sirius wasn't dead or dying and Iclyn would wake up soon and discover him by her side, sleeping peacefully and hugging her.

Unfortunately, it wasn't the case.

Luna was in her chambers as he treated her wounds. She coughed out the remains of water that got into her lungs and used magic to heal her head and muzzle. It was uncomfortable due to annoying pain in her horn but she had to do it. The fight drained her almost completely but some strength still remained, allowing her to use it for healing.

She thought about Sirius. She didn't blame him for what he had done to her but it puzzled her why would he come fighting her in the first place. Was it indeed that letter? It could very well be.

The princess had seen just how much Iclyn cared for Sirius, and she could immediately see love between the two. Princess Cadance had told her about it before but she wasn't sure until she saw it with her own eyes. Sirius would do anything for Iclyn, she understood it clearly.

Her idea worked but all of it crumbled when a single, smallest brick was removed. She shouldn't have sent that letter. It didn't add much but it made the events of this day happen. She didn't know whether Sirius would heal from that and live happily with Iclyn or let alone survive. His chances were dim. It could be possible that he had died all the way back at the lake. No one can survive without a heart.

Luna wasn't sure about telling Iclyn the reason of Sirius' attack. She didn't know what the reaction to that would be.

She sighed deeply. Maybe if she were more considerate none of this would've happened. She wasn't putting the blame on herself but it was her who had sent the letter in the first place. As she found out, it might've not been necessary at all.

Her frown deepened. It looked like she was trapped, unable to go anywhere without causing something negative. Nothing she could do would be helpful.

An image of Sirius flashed before her, his eyes glowing crimson as the Alicorn Amulet worked its magic, twisting and warping his mind, using his negative emotions to feed on and amplify them. In those eyes, Luna saw unleashed anger and hatred. There was no place for anything else at that moment.

"No one controls me!" his voice boomed inside her head.

He fought fiercely, he fought desperately, he fought... to be free.

Luna's eyes widened as she realized what he had been fighting for. He thought that she was controlling him and his life and also forced Iclyn to become close to him. Seeing all the injustice Sirius had suffered, it was no surprise he assumed the worst. He would've been reasoned with if not the amulet he put on to ensure his victory. It was a battle to death from the very beginning.

Finally, a doctor exited the medical station, and Iclyn immediately sprung from her seat.

"How is he?" she asked warily.

"He will live." the doctor replied, wiping the sweat away from his forehead. "One of his lungs collapsed, there was a lot of internal bleeding, but his heart is intact. He has lost a lot of blood as well."

"Can I be of help?" the filly inclined, nervously tilting from side to side.

"There is nothing else any of us can do. He just needs time to recover."

"Can I see him?"

"I'm afraid not yet, miss." the doctor shook his head. "He needs rest. He is still unconscious, probably in coma. However, I am positive he will wake up in a week at most."

Iclyn sighed shakily and sat down. Her ears were slightly drooped, her wings loose as tension released throughout her body.

He was alive, that was all that mattered to her.

Sirius was all alone in the black void. It was no longer a place he liked. He didn't feel peaceful or at ease. There was no warmth, no comfort, nothing. It was hollow, cold, and empty. Everywhere he looked there was that unwelcoming, unnerving black.

Had he died? He was sure he had. There was neither heaven or hell, no more afterlife. It was the end, complete and utter end. Nothing could be done.

It was all his fault. He wasn't good for anything. His love was fake, his friends were fake, and his whole life was fake. He wished he had never woken up to embrace the new world he almost started to call home. He wished he had never fallen in love with Iclyn. She deserved much more than a wretched, shattered, and useless soul.

She must've felt like she was being raped when Sirius thought he was making love to her. She couldn't possibly enjoy it with him. No one would love him the way he did. He loved desperately, he gave everything he had to love. But was it love others would accept?

There was no home for the wicked. A murderer and rapist didn't deserve a home. He didn't deserve to be loved or cared for. All he knew was misery, all he caused was misery, and all he deserved was misery.

Out from the blackness, a chain appeared. It shot to Sirius and went right through his side, making him yell in pain. It securely lodged itself under his spinal cord, holding his shuddering body in place.

Another chain flew out of the void, and another, and yet another, all of them piercing his body. They secured him and lifted him up in the air, making him scream in agonizing pain as blood streamed along the cold metal and dripped onto the black floor. Tears of pain streamed down his eyes as the chains rubbed against his flesh and bones, tearing bloody chunks out of his weak body.

Finally, the chains stopped. He was dangling above the ground. He gasped for air and sobbed, his legs helplessly and weakly flailing. There was no escape.

He must suffer for what he was.

https://youtu.be/72J4-y2bBZI

Author's Notes:

It is not the end of Sirius' story. The sequel is available by clicking here.