An introduction.

You stare into your drink, thoroughly miserable and wishing that this night would end. You had been out with your friends in Manehattan hoping to meet some fillies after having a few drinks, but your buddies had long ago paired off with mares they had met in the bar and had disappeared to their final destination, leaving you alone.

Sat at the bar, you wonder why you’re always the one left alone, the one always eventually walking home and crying yourself to sleep at the bitter loneliness of having no mate, no sweet maiden to call your own. Your stool was at the end of the bar, closest to the entrance and you feel a chill of the night air as somepony opens it, who then sits next to you, ordering a whiskey from the bartender.

“Hey buddy, how’s the fishing tonight?” He asks you, your focus still on your half finished drink, leading to you ignoring him. Eventually you realise that he must have been talking to you and you slip him a sideways glance. The stallion addressing you is impeccably well dressed; a sharp suit complimenting his masculine features, his deep black mane gelled intricately and working marvelously well with his light blue coat. Looking at his face, you’re sure that the stranger has had cosmetic work done, but can’t quite place what had been changed, his light blue face contorting as he grins at you.

“I’m guessing it never goes well for you, am I right?” He asks, sipping at the brown liquid on ice in his glass, levitated before him using his horn whilst he leans with his back against the bar. You nod and look back at your own drink, taking a gulp of it.

“When I’m feeling all sad and unable to score, do you know what I do? I stop being sad and unable to score and become awesome instead," Matterhorn says, with a pause for effect, "Then I go and get laid.”

You roll your eyes at the unicorn, asking why would he be here if he was so successful with the ladies.

“Pfft. Please. Real stallions can seal the deal and get straight back in the club before she’s even realised you’re gone. In fact, you know what, I’m going to teach you. Take a knee and tell me your name!”

You tell him your name, staying sat on the stool. He looks dismayed that you’re still sat there and not kneeling, but continues regardless.

“Yeeeah, I’m not going to remember that. My name is Matterhorn and your new name is Architect; I’m gonna call you Archie for short. Now, listen up Archie.”

Matterhorn, somehow still sober following several large whiskies, explains to you the basics of approaching and chatting to mares in the club scene, whilst you still continue to avoid chatting to the seemingly crazy stallion. Eventually he catches on and chooses to drop the biggest bomb you have ever heard;

“That’s right, Ted. The Elements of Harmony. All six of them. Not at the same time, although that would have been legendary, but I banged every one of them. Even got two at the same time.”

You feel your jaw almost hit the bar as you turn to face him; The Elements of Harmony? The six young mares from Ponyville that had somehow defeated an evil that Princess Celestia had barely dealt with the first time around? Whilst the mix of intrigue, respect and confusion raged in your mind, he had turned to you and was adjusting his tie with his hoof, giving the smug look of someone obviously having genuinely pulled off such an amazing feat.

"No way, no bucking way, you're pulling my chain!" you reply with a laugh, after having thought about how such an act could be done. Surely the mares would have discussed between themselves and worked out that he was specifically trying to sleep with them?

"Do you want to know how I did it?" the smug unicorn asks.

"Y...yeah, I guess I do."

"Excellent. Meet me back here, one week today." Matterhorn replies, before trotting off to a group of mares...

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