Sunday morning came, and I woke bright and early as always. I tugged my sheets up, took a quick shower, and walked out of the bathroom, expecting Dusty to just be walking in. Almost always I met her on my way out, but no Dusty. I shrugged, giving the room a once-over to ensure she would not have much if anything to do.

Stepping out into the corridor, Cortland was waiting for me. “Good morning to ya, Shane.”

I gave him a nod and glanced at the two guards at the door “Thank you, boys. Hope you have a quiet morning,” before looking back to the unicorn apple stallion.

“Morning, Cortland, how are you?”

He smiled some. “Doing better than a rooster in a hen house, Shane. Breakfast time?”

I gave a nod. “Yeah,” turning with him to start down the hallway. Around the next corner, I spotted Dusty. She was cowering back, tears were welling up in her eyes from what I could see. There was a large alabaster white unicorn with a golden mane and tail standing over her.

“You clumsy, stupid mare. Look what you have done to my hoofacure!”

I took note of the tray on the ground, spilled coffee, and a muffin that had been smashed under the unicorn stallions hoof.

“P-Prin—”

I watched as the son of a bitch brought his hoof up and smacked her across the face. Now, I am a lot of things, and I will let a lot of things slide. What I am not is someone who strikes a lady, nor do I tolerate that outside of self defense, and that sure as hell wasn’t. Hearing Dusty cry out, seeing her head rock to the side, something snapped in me.

I let out a bellow and broke into a sprint. “Hey, asshole!”

The white unicorn turned, his eyes went wide just as I brought my right boot up into his ribs with a good chunk of my weight behind it. I heard his breath come out in a loud wheeze, his eyes shutting in pain. I ain’t going to say it was an easy kick, but holy crap did my foot hurt, even with boots on.

Ultimately, it had the desired effect. The stallion lifted a good half foot with the momentum, then crashed down, sliding a few feet on his side down the high polish floor.

I heard Cortland behind me yell. “Shane!”

“See to Dusty, now!” I barked as I stepped over to the unicorn who was trying to get his breath. With a human snarl, I lifted my foot up and brought it down to rest on the stallion's neck.

“Listen up, asshole. You ever smack a lady when I am around to see it, and I will beat you black and blue. You hear me, boy?!"

Yeah, perhaps I was overboard, perhaps I had let my anger get the better of me. Yet in that moment, all the training and calm had neatly tucked itself away in the corner of my mind. This guy was facing one pissed off southern boy now.

Suddenly, there were guards, tons of guards, like they came directly out of the woodwork. Some were attempting to draw me back, some were standing not sure what to do. I heard one tugging my arm, shouting. “Shane, stop! That is Prince Blueblood!”

I let my foot up and allowed them to pull me back. It was clear this guy was scared big time, as a puddle of yellow sat beneath his one leg as he started to be helped up. I backed off a bit more and let guards get in between us.

He was fighting for a breath before he wheezed out. “Arrest... that… monkey!”

I still had my fury on, and I yelled back. “Arrest that whorse’s ass for assault and battery!”

Apparently what I yelled was something of an insult. Everypony there, guards included gasped and took an inhale. Eyes wide, looking from me to royalty prick, back to me again. The blonde moron just stared at me with his jaw wide open, like he was trying to catch flies—the exact opposite of one would expect after his initial outburst on Dusty.

Cortland tugged on my arm. “Come on, let's get you back to your room.”

Ignoring the other guards, and the white stallion I looked around. “Where is Dusty, is she okay?”

He just gave a snort “She is fine, come on, just... Oh, Celestia's left teat, Shane, you screwed up. Come on!”

I paused and lifted my arm up, pointing at the prince, making not a few guards flinch in the process. I suppose I looked quite terrifying in that moment.

“You remember what I said, Blueballs. You touch a lady like that in front of me again, I will break you in half!”

Spinning, I stormed down the hall. It took Cortland a moment to catch up. I guess I had a good head of steam going. Inside, I was seething. Not only was Dusty a good mare, she was kind, and sweet, and my friend.

I could hear the snake yelling at the guards to arrest me as we rounded the corner and down the hall to my room once more. Well, shit, I guess I ain’t getting breakfast today.
Opening the door, I walked in, Cortland spoke.

“Shane, I have to file a report and find out what to do. For now, I am not confining you to your room, but I am asking you—as a friend— stay put, please?”

I turned and looked down at him. “Yea, okay, Cort. I... crap, I am sorry,” running my hand up and through my hair.

He glanced at the two guards who were trying their hardest not to look interested. “Between you and me, Shane, he had it coming, we both saw what he did. Just... he is Celestia’s nephew. This ain’t something I can just tuck away in some report.”

Again, I gave him a nod. “Go, do what you have to. I will face the consequences. Oh, and Cort?”

He turned his head and looked back at me, the door still half open.

“Make sure Dusty is doing fine. Ask Golden to check on her or something, please?”

He gave a nod of his head. “I will send cousin AJ a note about what happened. Before you argue, you know damn well she would kick us both in the plot if I didn’t and hid it from her.”

I breathed out deeply once more. “Yeah, okay,” then closed the door.

Walking over to the bed, I sat down and stared at my hands. I shook my head, because I had been ready to beat that stallion to death, or within an inch of it. I felt the rush, I knew I had focused and my mind had chosen fight rather than flight. I had lost it, I had not lost my temper like that since high school, when some jerkoff grabbed Shawna’s ass just two weeks before we were to get hitched.

Focusing down at my feet, I slid my right foot out of the boot and reached down to peel the sock off. I could see it was already starting to darken along the top. It was going to be a hell of a bruise that is for sure. Letting myself fall back on the bed, I stared up at the ceiling high above me.

“Good going, dumbass, you might have just blown any credit you had with the princess and the rest of the ponies around here,” I muttered above my breath.

I lay like that for a few minutes then sat up. Well, if I was going to be locked up, or, what ever they do here for assaulting royalty, I was going to go with food in my belly. I pulled out some jerky from my pack, leaning on the bed and started to chew a chunk.

---

Two hours, twelve minutes and twenty-one seconds later, there was a knock on the door. I looked up from where I sat on the bed, waiting. I spoke out, not yelling or projecting my voice. “Yes, come in.”

The door swung open and, well, I suppose I should not be surprised. Twilight, flanked by two guards of her own, along with eight more behind her, guards stood waiting. None were armed from what I could make out, but all dead serious by their looks.

“Shane, I am sorry, but, under royal order, I must place you under arrest. Will you please accompany us to the solar court.”

I could see this was really hurting her, so I stood and gave a slight bow. “Without a fight, I will go peacefully, T—Princess Twilight.”

She gave a soft nod and stepped aside. “For what it’s worth, Twilight, I apologize,” as I walked past her, guards fell in around me. I shook my head and quietly walked down the hall. Turning right, a direction I had not gone before, down another few halls.

We walked to a set of large double doors, that swung open with a golden glow.

I could see the stain glass windows, the tapestries hanging down, and the four chairs up upon the diaz. Walking down the carpet to stand before the goddess of the sun, I took a knee slowly, and bowed my head to her.

I proceeded to ignore the guards, as well as the large gallery of others in the room. Twilight came up alongside of me and sat. I heard Celestia speak.

“Rise, Shane McDonald of the humans.”

I rose and looked at her, she continued.

“I would hear your side of things, but Equestrian law states you must have an advocate to stand before the court as you are not a citizen. Will anyone stand for the human?”

To my surprise, Twilight spoke up from next to me. “Princess Celestia, I, Princess Twilight Sparkle. The Element of Magic and Princess of Friendship invoke my right to stand as advocate for the human known as Shane McDonald.”

Not a few gasps were heard from the gallery, and I did spot one guard up near Celestia’s side almost fumble his spear before he caught himself.

She gave a soft nod. “And you understand your place as advocate, that you share his guilt if he is found such?”

Now I opened my mouth. “Now wait j—”

A hoof hit me in the leg and I heard a tone from Twilight I had never heard her use. It was deep, and low, and angry. “Shut up, I am taking care of this.”

My mouth snapped shut. I turned my head and looked down at the purple alicorn. She had her wings out wide, her stance was spread and firm, her eyes glaring up at me before I found myself backing down to her.

“Y-yes, ma'am,” I replied in a much softer, slightly fearful tone.

I saw her turn back and look up at her once teacher, now fellow princess. “I understand fully and by the laws of Equestria, accept in full that weight.”

Celestia dipped her head. “Court is now in Session. I will wave the reading of the charges, and the statement from Prince Blueblood. I would hear from the accused's point of view the event that happened.”

Twilight nudged my leg again with her hoof. Bending down to her, so she could whisper. “Shane, you have two choices here. Tell your side, or, stay silent. If you stay silent, then court will recess for a decision. I am giving you advice, as your counselor, tell your side of things. I know you, Shane, you are a good stallion—man.”

I rose to my feet once more and nodded, looking back up at the taller princess once more.

“Well, Cort and I…”

Twilight once again spoke up. “That would be Sergeant Cortland of Unit One, Solar Guard. Currently assigned to undercover protection and escort duty for Mr. McDonald. I would also like to point out that their friendship is such, the name Cort, has become an accepted nickname between the two friends.”

Celestia, unreadable in her facial features, gave a soft nod of her head. “So noted in the record,” glancing over at a dark blue, almost black unicorn mare with a red mane. “Please note that as exhibit one, if you would, Miss Steno.”

She returned to me. “You may continue. Mr. McDonald.”

“Cort and I were walking down the hall, heading for the breakfast room as I have every morning since I was asked to stay in the castle. We came around a corner to see Dusty.”

Before Twilight could say something, I added. “That is Dusty Shelf, she is a maid here assigned to my room, and a friend.”

A nod told me to continue.

“So we see Dusty cowering down to some guy—er, stallion. White coat, blonde mane, unicorn. I would say about eleven, perhaps eleven and a half hands... oh, wait, you call it, um...”

Twilight leaned over and said in a loud whisper. “Hooves”

I gave her a single nod. “Right, hooves tall at the withers. Well, we observed him with some sort of stain on his leg and standing on what looked to be a kind of pastry. He was quite agitated, and spoke rather aggressively to Mrs. Shelf. Before we could act, we observed the perpetrator lift his right hoof and strike Mrs. Shelf across the face.”

I lifted my fingers and gestured to my own face. “Somewhere between the orbital bone, and the facial crest, with enough force to knock her head aside and send her to the ground.”

A few mutters from the gallery now, Twilight next to me whispered. “You have given statements before... I forgot you were law enforcement. Good job, keep going, Shane.”

Celestia seemed to be focused on what I was saying.

“Observing a felony act, I engaged the perpetrator to defend the victim from another strike. I then warned him to not attempt to hit another like that in front of me.”

A side door opened and a guard trotted in carrying quite a few papers across his back. He bowed to the princess as she lifted them away, then headed back out.

“Give me a moment, Mr. McDonald. I have just been handed the incident reports from the responding guards and Sergeant Cortland. In the meantime, Guards, bring pillows in for the accused and his counsel please.”

“I can stand just fine, Princess Celestia.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “You are favoring your right foot, and even a blind pony could see the limp you so graciously attempted to cover up as you walked down the carpet. I will not have someone in my court in pain when I can spare them that,” then I saw her wink!

Damn it! What had I been telling myself? That mare was ten steps ahead of me. It was like playing chicken with a train when your foot is tied to the track, it just ain’t fair!

As the pillows were carried out, I returned a nod. “Thank you, Princess.”

She tapped her hoof three times on the throne arm. “Court is in recess for one hour,” before turning and walking behind the thrones and into a doorway, before it closed behind her.

I glanced over at Twilight. “I did what I had to, Twilight. I don’t regret it, well, other than perhaps not holding my temper a bit better.”

She shook her head. “It won’t be me you have to justify yourself to, Shane. I received a letter not twenty minutes ago, a particular apple is on her way on the train as we speak. She was to be your advocate but could not get here in time so I agreed to step into her place.”

I exhaled a bit and shook my head. “I... think I would rather face you and Celestia than AJ right now.”

---

One hour later almost to the second, a guard tapped his spear's shaft on the ground twice.

“Rise for her Royal Princess Celestia.”

I stood along with everyone else in the room. Celestia walked in and around her throne, sitting before lifting a hoof. “Sit, my little ponies, court is back in session. That means you may sit, too, my little human.”

I gave a slight smile and sat again.

“I have looked over all of the reports, and there are some discrepancies in the complaint I wish to address before I close statements. “ she looked right at me.

“Mr. McDonald, did you, in fact, strike the prince with your leg, causing two bruised ribs?”

I shook my head “No, Princess, I struck him with the top of my boot. If I had hit with my leg, it would have broken, too,” I figured, why beat around the bush? Honesty was my only real choice here.

Behind us, I heard a door open and somepony walk in. Glancing back, I spotted the pure-orange mare, and she looked pissed. However, she gave me a nod before finding a spot to sit and observe.

Celestia furrowed an eyebrow then continued. “And, did you, in fact, set your boot on Prince Blueblood’s neck, and hold him down, giving him a warning that—” she cleared her throat. “—if you saw him strike a lady again like that, you would beat him black and blue?”

I heard Applejack let out a barely-cut off gasp, and Twilight next to me slapped my leg with her hoof and whispered. “Shane!”

I again nodded my head. “Yes, Princess, I did.”

She exhaled and glanced at the gallery, then back to me once more.

“I also understand you might have used a…” she paused to clear her throat, then continued. “...colorful comment, yelled at him, when he continued to call for your arrest?”

Now Twilight looked straight at me, and everyone was quiet. I guess I was in the thick of it, might as well go for broke.

“Yes, ma’am, begging the pardon of the mares in the room. I called him a whorse’s ass.”

Celestia almost broke. Her eye twitched and I noticed her holding in a laugh.

Twilight next to me blurted out. “You what?!” then started to hit me with her hoof on the thigh over and over again. Not rough, but enough to get my attention. “No! No! Bad Shane, no!”

Behind us in the gallery, many ponies gasped, a few thuds of mares fainting. I glanced back to see AJ with her hat pulled down over her face, but her barrel was hitching and her tail was twitching around.

Celestia finally cleared her throat and tapped her hoof a few times. “Order, please, order. Guards, see to the gallery and be sure everypony is okay.”

Waiting about ten minutes for the guards to help the two mares that had fainted up and out, I rubbed where Twilight had been hoof punching me, whispering to her. “That hurt.”
She snorted. “Good! You deserve it that was horrible what you called Prince Blueblood, no matter how horrible of a pony he is.”

Celestia cleared her throat to get our attention.

“One last thing, Mr. McDonald, before I recess court to deliberate. Why did you do it?”

I glanced at Twilight, then over my shoulder at Applejack. I spotted Cortland and Golden beside her now. I had friends here, well, hell with it, let's keep the honesty thing up. It has worked so far for me.

“Princess Celestia, you know I was a law enforcement officer, but you must understand a few things. Back home, men are raised to never hit a lady unless that lady is trying to do harm or kill him. So, watching that happen, it hit a deep chord in me. I could not stand there and see a lady, especially one I am close with, one who is about the nicest mare I know, get hit by that fella.”

Celestia tapped her chin, then gave a dip of her head. “So, you would say you reacted due to a combination of training, upbringing, and friendship?”

I glanced at Twilight next to me, who gave a nod. I gazed right back up at the solar princess once more. “Yes, Princess, that is exactly what I would say.”

She stood, and we all jumped up to our feet, hooves, whatever, tapping her hoof three times on the floor.

“Court stands in recess. Guards, return the accused to his room along with his advocate,” she paused and later added. “The Element of Honesty and his two personal escorts may go with him,” before turning to walk off.

I glanced at Twilight once more and sighed out. “It is in the law's hands—er, hooves, now.”