The hookah smoke that filled the bar had an acrid tang that made the eyes water. A group of companions huddled around a crude wooden table covered in carved, vulgar graffiti. In the middle of the table, there was a soot-streaked oil lamp that spit and sizzled. Two of the companions were wearing pith helmets, while the third wore nothing that would cover up her rainbow streaked mane.

“I can’t believe we managed to steal this from Doctor Caballeron.” The flickering lamplight was reflected in Rainbow Dash’s eyes as she spoke, and her eyes darted from side to side as she looked at each of her companions. She clutched a satchel to her barrel as if it were a newborn and her ears remained perked for the sounds of trouble.

Snorting with disgust, Daring Do’s somewhat swollen lip curled back from her teeth and she gave the chocolate brown pony beside her a seething glare. “I can’t believe Tarnish tossed Doctor Caballeron into the old abandoned quarry filled with crocodiles. Really, that was uncouth!”

“Eh, he’ll live somehow.” Tarnish’s dismissive tone did nothing to smooth over Daring Do’s ruffled feathers.

“Professional courtesy, Mister Teapot!”

“Professional courtesy?” Tarnish snapped. “He had one of his diamond dog goons shoot me in the ass! In the ass! Do you know how much that hurts?”

Rolling her eyes, Daring Do tossed her head back and gave it a shake as she threw her hooves up in disgust. Rainbow Dash choked back a laugh, further provoking the ire of her idol, Daring Do. Looking a bit put out, Tarnished Teapot’s eyes narrowed and he shifted in his chair, as sitting down hurt a bit at the moment.

“A shot in the ass is nothing compared to the stain upon your reputation!” Daring Do reached out, grabbed Tarnish’s foreleg in her fetlock, and gave him a firm squeeze to get his attention. “You are developing a certain sense of notoriety, Professor Teapot. As your colleague and your mentor, I am trying to guide you along the path of professional goodness. I want to see you succeed. I want what is best for you, because you are my dear friend.”

Jerking in her seat, Rainbow Dash cast a quick glance at the door and then she prodded Daring Do. “Uh, guys, I think we have company… you two can argue like an old married couple later.”

Tarnish and Daring Do went silent and both turned their heads. A crowd, a pack of diamond dogs were coming in the door, pouring in all at once, and there were some familiar, unwelcomed faces. The trio made no move, but began to size up the situation. There were no obvious escape routes, just the door. A bandaged, bloody figure pushed his way through a wall of hired goons and Tarnish let out a weary sigh of dismay.

“You have something of mine,” Doctor Caballeron said, “and it is my intention to take it back. Return it to me now and I’ll let you live out of a sense of professional courtesy.” The stallion was covered from ear to hoof in bandages and only one eye was visible, peeking out from between thick layers of gauze.

There was a soft, muffled thump as Tarnish’s whip uncoiled and hit the floor. A great many eyes focused upon it, and a fearful murmur filled the room. Tarnish blinked once, his blue eyes glittering with malice, and then he cleared his throat so that he might speak.

“I’m having a bad day,” Tarnish said in a quiet voice. “I got shot in the ass, and that hurt a bit. Then there was a fight with some big jungle cat, and that didn’t go so well. And just before you assholes showed up, I was getting chewed out by my boss. Whatever you do, don’t make my bad day worse, because, trust me, I’m a bad day waiting to happen to you...” His words trailed off and Tarnish pushed the brim of his pith helmet back, revealing his eyes.

Several goons in the crowd excused themselves, realising that they had pressing business elsewhere. Others clutched their weapons, clubs, swords, spears, axes, and maces; and they looked to their leader, hoping for some kind of reassurance.

“You know what, I’m sick of this.” Doctor Caballeron let out an angry snort. “Kill them,” he ordered and then he began his retreat, backing away, and vanishing behind his hired goons. “Kill them and take back what is mine.”

Hooking a foreleg around a diamond dog’s thick, muscular neck, Daring Do launched him forwards, right into Rainbow Dash’s front hoof. There was a wet-sounding squish as the diamond dog’s muzzle collapsed in upon itself and when he teetered backwards from the blow, several teeth clattered to the floor.

Flamingo moved through the room, disarming. Free of her sheath, she chopped, sliced, and hacked her way through spears, clubs, axes, and maces. She even found the time to offer a few hearty spanks with the flat of her blade. Flamingo wasn’t too keen about blood, so she kept the stabbing, slicing, and dicing of flesh to a minimum.

Tarnish moved through the bar, doing what he did best. Improvisational mayhem. He wasn’t a technical wrestler, like Daring Do, or a master of hoof-fu, like Rainbow Dash, but Tarnish was no less menacing, having built quite a reputation for himself. The whip lashed out and caught an unawares diamond dog running for Rainbow Dash right in the groin. There was a keen yelp—it was so loud that it caused several other diamond dogs to stop fighting and clutch their ears—the lashed dog fell to the floor, clutching his bloodied loin cloth and crying out for Collie Ma.

“Dirty pool, Tarnish, dirty pool!” Daring Do shouted as she hefted up a rather shoddy looking wooden chair. Grunting, she smashed the wooden chair over a goon’s face, snatched up a broken off chair leg before it fell to the floor, and then hurled the sharp, makeshift stake at a diamond dog that was rushing her, skewering it in the eye.

Swooping through the air, Rainbow Dash snatched up an oil lamp and hurled it at a group of dogs going after Daring Do. The lamp crashed into a dog’s skull, shattered, and spilled oil all down the dog’s back, which puddled onto the floor around its paws. A second later, the oil ignited and the bar was filled with screaming as several of their attackers caught on fire.

The fire did not come from the lamp, which had been lit, but from Tarnish. The stench of burning hair filled the bar and the sounds of screaming reached a deafening pitch. One of the big dogs, on fire but not too bothered by it, snatched up Tarnish by the neck, choking him, and shook him. After a few seconds, he hurled Tarnish with as much force as he could muster at the kitchen door.

The door was ripped from its hinges by the impact and Tarnish tumbled into the kitchen, crying out in pain when he smacked his head on the hard, unyielding edge of a wooden cupboard. The big diamond dog followed Tarnish into the kitchen with the intent of finishing him off. Daring Do and Rainbow Dash were backed into a corner in the common room of the bar, defending one another, and could not come to Tarnish’s rescue.

The kitchen staff had fled out the back door and for this, Tarnish was thankful. He ignored the stars in his vision and fought to get to his hooves. “Flamingo, I need you!” Tarnish shouted, his words slurred and difficult to make out.

The big dog advanced, smouldering, and he snatched up both a cast iron pan and a cleaver to use as makeshift weapons. Tarnish, who had a hard time seeing, fell back on a trick Vinyl had taught him, using his telekinesis to feel his way around as he backed away, retreating.

Tarnish stopped when he backed into something hot and after feeling his way around for a second, he knew what it was. Sidestepping, moving with surprising speed, he yanked the basket out of the deep frier and slung it at his attacker. A sizzling mess of fried food and boiling oil hit the diamond dog in the face, it screamed and fell to the ground, trying to claw its own face off to make the pain stop.

Angry, staggering, no doubt concussed, Tarnish levitated up quite a number of heavy cast iron pans and made ready to storm the common room to help his companions…

Trying to brush herself off, Daring Do only smeared blood along her foreleg as she looked at the heap of bodies all around her. Rainbow Dash brought a heavy table leg down upon the skull of one that was trying to get up, and then she clubbed him a second time for good measure.

“You okay, ladies?” Tarnish asked as he staggered on his hooves.

“I think we’re fine, but you’re not,” Daring Do replied. “Miss Dash, help me carry Mister Teapot. We need to get out of here. We don’t know if the rotten doctor bribed the local police or not.” Daring Do stepped over a large, bent-like-a-taco cast iron griddle that lay beside a whimpering, prone diamond dog and clucked her tongue. “Come come, we must away to the Endeavour with our prize.”

“I’m fine,” Tarnish insisted as he fought to keep his legs beneath them. “I sure showed them. I told them, I told them I was a bad day waiting to happen.”

“Yes, you sure did.” Daring Do, looking concerned, hurried to Tarnish’s side.

Taking a step away from Daring Do, Tarnish shook his head. “I said I’m fine.” As he spoke, he wobbled, the loss of blood from having been shot earlier and the recent fight had been a bit too much for Tarnish. “I’m fine,” he said again as he toppled to the floor.

“Mister Teapot…” Daring Do said in a somewhat annoyed nasal voice.

“I take it all back, I’m not fine.” With the last of his consciousness, Tarnish remembered to grab both his whip as well as his pith helmet from the floor where they lay and he stuffed them into his saddlebags.

“Hurry, Miss Dash, we must away!”

Author's Notes:

I might be crazy for starting this...