"Usually it's you who's helping me get dressed," Princess Cadance said to Shining Armor, as she helped him into his royal regalia in front of his mirror.

"I can dress myself," Shining groaned and she helped him with the buttons of his dress shirt.

"I know," Cadance said. "But I want to. Hopefully it will help you relax about the Games Inspector coming. As a prince, you have to look the part."

"I don't feel the part," he said. "What am I even supposed to do? She's going to want to see you and I'm just going to... be there, smiling and waving."

"You're a prince. You'll play your part. Just try to be diplomatic about it."

"I felt like I was doing fine as a Captain of the Royal Guard. I was good at yelling at ponies under my command and getting things done. Being there for when the diplomacy of princesses failed," he said. Cadance paused and walked to the bedroom window, looking at the stadium across the way.

"You know what? You're right!" she said. She unbuttoned his shirt.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Putting you to good use!" she said, pulling the silly prince suit off of her Royal Guard. "You're right. You're not a prince. Not at heart. Maybe that time will come later but for now, let's treat you like the pony you are."

"And that is?" he asked.

"A stallion of action!" she said, pointing to the window. "That's the stadium where I hope to hold the Equestrian Games. But leave that to me. You need to go out there and make sure that our crystal ponies will be the ones that win, regardless of where the games happen. That's what you are! A leader of the ponies in the trenches. A motivator! You were never meant to be some haughty prince sitting in a dining hall sipping tea while discussing foreign relations. It was silly of me to try to force you into a box that you were never going to fit. That's not the stallion I married." She walked over to him and kissed him on the lips. "That's not the pony I fell in love with."

"Okay... Yeah. Yeah, I can do that!" he said. The light returned to his eyes that she hadn't seen in far too long. "What should I wear?" he asked.

"Wear something comfortable. I imagine you'll be out there on the field leading by example," she said. He rummaged through the last box of his civilian effects and pulled out an old hoofball cap and a whistle. He looked back at her.

"Are you sure it will be okay if I'm not there?" he asked.

"I am the princess of the Crystal Empire," she said with emphasis. "I will make it okay."

"But what if-"

"HEY!" Cadance silenced him, and took a deep breath, holding her hoof to her chest. He did the same, taking a deep breath, and holding his own hoof to his chest. Each of them breathed out slowly, and 'pushed their worries away' with their hooves, just as she had taught him. "Keep calm. I'm going to go to the empire spa anyway to have my mane done up with the Ceremonial Headdress, and greeting the welcoming committee there. I'll be fine. We'll be fine."

"Keep calm," he repeated.

"I love you," she said, kissing him again.

"I love you too." He smiled and left to go motivate the athletes in the stadium.

A short while later, Twilight Sparkle and her friends disembarked at the train station and they made their way to the spa. "We're here," Twilight said.

"Oh, there are my girls!" Cadance said, getting up from her massage. She trotted over to Twilight and as if on cue, they both danced together.

Sunshine sunshine
Ladybugs awake!
Clap your hooves
and do a little shake!

Rarity fawned about the spa.

"It's all complimentary for the welcome committee," Cadance said to Rarity and her friends. "Go ahead and try whatever you want." Twilight panicked that Cadance had said that with Pinkie Pie in the room. Pinkie Pie proceeded to try to do a cannonball into the crystal mud bath.

"Pinkie, no!" Twilight yelled at the airborne mare. The pink pony struck the non-Newtonian liquid and it slowly absorbed her, and the impact without so much as a splash. This time, physics defied Pinkie. "I can't take you anywhere!" Cadance put her hoof on Twilight's shoulder, gaining her attention. Then she moved her hoof to her own chest and took a deep breath. Twilight followed suit. Each of them breathed out slowly and 'pushed away their worries'.

Keep Calm

It was the mantra that Celestia had taught Cadance, and then Twilight. And now, along with their memories of Cadance as her foal-sitter, it was one of the things they shared. For a brief moment, Twilight thought about her brother, Shining.

Among many things they shared.

The time and distance since the incident with King Sombra had given Twilight the opportunity to begin to compartmentalize those intrusive thoughts. She had made a silent promise to herself that she would be able to get through this trip without thinking about him. At least, not in that way.

"Go ahead, have a good time while I get my ceremonial headdress done," Cadance said. Twilight winced with the thoughts of Shining Armor on her mind, and the words 'have a good time' in her ear.

"Ceremonial headdress?" Rarity asked.

"When meeting with important guests, it was tradition for rulers of the Crystal Empire to weave crystals into their mane in a very specific way. The Games Inspector is known for doing her homework. She'll certainly be expecting my look to reflect the importance of her visit." The door to the spa opened.

"Princess," the crystal mail pony greeted with a bow, "if I may have a word, I have two pieces of news for you. First is that your mane stylist has the flu, and won't be able to make it for fear of you catching it, too."

"Oh, well I hope she's better soon. Do any of the other stylists here know how to do the royal ceremonial headdress? " Cadance asked. Murmurs to the negative came from the rest of the staff.

"I suppose I could give it a shot," Rarity said.

"Oh? Is there a lot of overlap between dress making and mane-styling?" Cadance asked.

"Well, uh-"

"Maybe one of the other mane stylists who are already, you know, mane stylists, could 'give it a shot'," Cadance said. "I do have the written instructions."

"Besides, we need you for the dance sequence we rehearsed," Rainbow Dash said. "We can't do a six-pony pyramid with just five ponies."

"You said you had a second bit of news?" Cadance asked the mail pony.

"Yes, quite. The Games Inspector, Ms. Harshwhinny, will be arriving on the next train, fifteen minutes from now." Shocked gasps went through the group.

"Quick, to the train station!" Twilight said. The six of them left, leaving Cadance to get her mane done. "Everypony just be on the lookout for the pony with the flower-print luggage. They arrived there just in time for the train to pull into the station. Twilight scanned over the ponies stepping off of the train, spotting a flower-print bag in the hooves of a casually dressed mare. "There!" Twilight pointed.

"Psh," Rarity scoffed. "Darling, look at that thing. It's simply gaudy and it has a gash in it that had clearly been there for some time! Hardly the bag of a mare of such high stature. Really darling, you must have an eye for fashion for these sort of things."

"Well then I'm glad you're here and not trying to be a mane stylist," Twilight said.

"But I just wanted to touch her mane," Rarity whimpered. Another mare stepped off the train with a much finer flower print bag and business suit. "That's our mare," Rarity said with confidence.

"Alright everypony..." Twilight whispered to the group, "like we practiced."

~

After a well-rehearsed greeting, the welcome committee brought Ms. Harshwhinny back to the castle. Cadance was there to greet her with bells on, and crystals in her mane. Ms. Harshwhinny gave and received cordial platitudes. She looked behind Cadance at... nothing.

"It was my understanding that there was a prince as well?" Harshwhinny asked. She didn't say it out loud, but her tone and expression made it clear. Is he too good to be here?

"He'll be here soon to join us for lunch. He's seeing to the athletes... in the stadium," Cadance said, making hard eye contact with Twilight. "He already has his ceremonial attire from his bedroom," she added.

"I should assume so," Harshwhinny said. "It seems strange that you would say that, unprompted." Twilight got the hint.

"If you would just excuse me a moment," Twilight said, quickly removing herself from the group. She ran upstairs to the royal bedchambers. Shining's outfit was laid out on the bed already. She gathered it up and turned to leave. Her hoof clipped the corner of a box under the bed. The top slid slightly ajar. Twilight knelt down to put it back, catching a glimpse of the contents. A variety of marital aides. "Oh my." Her hoof moved to open the box. "I shouldn't..." She bit her lip. "I shouldn't for very long."

Twilight looked at the many objects, but one thing stuck out most. It was an open 'clone-a-willy' kit box. Twilight picked up the box and a silicon replica of Shining's penis slid out. She hadn't seen many in her life, but Twilight knew that every penis looked unique. And she had seen his close enough to recognize the familiar vein that ran along the underside that looked like a perfect bolt of lightning. She picked it up, feeling the weight of it in her hooves. A shiver ran down her spine that made her tail twitch. As much as she wanted to...

"There's no time," she scolded herself. She put everything back and grabbed Shining's clothes. She made haste through the castle and headed out to the stadium.

Shining Armor stood and waited for the Crystal Empire Track and Field team to finish stretching. Everypony was so happy and excited that their crystal fur was in full, translucent luster. One of the more limber athletes leaned back and pulled her hind leg up to nearly behind her head.

Shining gulped. Even their crystal uniforms were see-through. And the way she was positioning herself... If he was a bit closer he'd be able if the mare was still a virgin for pony's sake. Shining felt his loins stir. With all the excitement surrounding the games, he and Cadance had been too busy or tired to see to each other's physical needs. Nor had he seen to his own. Not that he had felt it since Sombra, and the top of the spire with... Twilie.

The married stallion mentally berated himself. He had just gotten done getting over his self-confidence issues with Cadance. He didn't need another bout of temptation feeding his guilt. From the corner of his eye, he spotted temptation trotting down the stadium stairs.

Fuck.

He knew Twilight was going to be in the empire today. He knew that it was extremely probable that he would see her at some point. He had mentally prepared himself earlier for the encounter. But the oh-so-limber crystal ponies stretching out nearby had him caught off balance. He tried to do the calming exercise that Cadance had taught him. Keep calm.

"Twiley!" he called out, trying not to sound like he was greeting the pony with whom he'd had adulterous incest.

"Hello there," Twilight replied, trying not to sound like she'd just had just a replica of her brother's penis in her hooves only minutes earlier. Once she was close enough, her concern came through. "Shining Armor, you've got to help me-" Shining Armor panicked, unsure of what Twilight had come all this way to talk about with him, away from her friends, and his wife. He blew the whistle, starting the track team running.

"Everything okay?" he asked nervously.

"I left the other ponies behind giving the Games Inspector the worst castle tour ever."

"Come on gang!" Shining shouted at the ponies running around the track. "Are we gonna gallop, or are we gonna trot?" He looked back at Twilight and grinned. "The whistle makes me their god," he joked. "So a castle tour huh? I'm pretty sure I can give you a hoof with that," he said. "Let's move! Move! Move!" he shouted.

"Luckily, Cadance was there," Twilight continued, "but Ms. Harshwhinny was expecting to see you, too, for the castle tour," Twilight explained, showing him the clothes that she brought. Shining sighed.

"I figured she might," he said, taking the whistle off from around his neck. He turned to trot away from Twilight.

"Hey, the castle is this way," Twilight said.

"Yes. But I've been running around. I'm a sweaty mess, and the locker room showers are closer." Twilight followed after him with his clothes. In the empty locker room, Twilight looked at the rows of lockers.

"Which one is yours?" she asked, looking for a place to hang his formal wear.

"None of them," he said, walking over to the showers.

"Well I can't just leave these on the floor," she said, standing there impatiently with his clothes in her hooves. He ignored her and turned on the water. He grabbed a bottle of shampoo and quickly washed his fur, taking care to not get his mane or tail wet. He glanced over at Twilight. She was just standing there watching him bathe.

"Can you... not watch me?" he asked.

"Nothing I haven't already seen," she said matter-of-factly.

"It's just-" he tried not to think about it. He remembered being in the barracks at basic training with fifty nine other guards all showering after PT. It wasn't that he was self conscious. He was just afraid that after seeing those crystal ponies stretching... and Twilight right there... "Can you just turn around or something?" he asked. Twilight rolled her eyes and did an about-face. Shining resumed his shower, scrubbing as quickly and efficiently as possible. He glanced over at Twilight again. Her flank was turned to him. Her tail swished from side to side, showing off her-

He felt his loins stirring again. No-no-no! he cursed. Of all the times to get an erection, now was not the time. He tried to ignore it, to will it away. But as soon as the warm water hit it it was game over. His penis slid out of his sheath in a smooth motion and hung under him. He looked to see if Twilight had noticed, only to see her marehood once again looking back at him. His shaft throbbed to full mast. There was one last thing he could try.

He braced himself and turn the shower knob. The ground water of the frozen north blasted through, dousing him with arctic water that was just barely above freezing. He couldn't stifle the yelp as he leaped out from under the water. His hooves slipped out from under him on the slick tile and he ended up on his back. Twilight turned around from the noise to see what was wrong. His problem was obvious. She practically salivated.

"Really!?" Twilight said, trying to mask her own desire with an annoyed tone.

"It was the water!" he said defensively, quickly getting back to his hooves.

"These are form-fitting!" she said of his clothes. "There's no way you can get dressed with that."

"I know!" He forced himself back under the frigid spray. But it didn't matter how cold the water was. With Twilight there, his erection could have fucked a hole into a glacier. There was no time for games or being coy. His horn glowed and he started stroking himself with his magic.

"What are you doing!?" she asked.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm dealing with it!" he said.

"Right in front of me?"

"Nopony is making you watch," he said. Twilight quickly closed and locked the door to the locker room before anypony else came along.

Twilight had a thought. It was am impulsive thought, and she knew it plainly well. But just as stallions were prone to act on impulsive thoughts, so too, could mares. So too, could Twilight. Twilight just had the presence of mind to be aware of the fact that it was an impulsive thought. And that made it okay. Twilight mentally cursed him for putting her in this position. She mentally cursed herself for not being strong enough to resist it. For not being smart enough to think of a better alternative.

"There's a faster way," Twilight said, turning her rump to him and lifting her tail. Her marehood was like the most powerful magnet in the universe. And his eyes were cheap metal. His head twisted so fast it almost snapped his neck.

Which was exactly what Cadance would do if she ever found out.

"Twi, no!" he said. "We can't! I told you-"

"I know, I know! Shine, this doesn't have to mean anything," she said as she bent over lower. "This isn't about you, or me. This is for the sake of the Equestria Games! For the empire! We're out of time! It's an emergency!"

This is crazy, Shining thought

This is crazy, Twilight thought.

"Fuck!" he cursed himself as he walked over to her. She just stayed in the same position, face down, ass up, not looking at him. "This doesn't change anything!" he said sternly, rearing up to mount her. Twilight grunted as she felt him push into her surprisingly-wet entrance. She kept her mind focused as he started to hump her. Her magic grabbed a couple towels. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Multi-tasking," she said as she started to towel his fur dry while he fucked her. "Now hurry up!" Not that he needed any further instruction. He was fucking her just as fast as he could, the white blur of his body could have been mistaken for a very large bunny. There was no intimacy in the act. It was simply a means to dealing with a need. That's what he kept telling himself. It was an emergency, for the games, for the empire. That was why he had to do it. That was why he has to fuck his sister. That was why he had to fuck Twiley... deep inside her hot, wet... pussy.

"Hng," Shining grunted. Twilight felt him flaring inside her. He went to pull out but her magic wrapped the towels tightly across the back of his hips, holding him against her. "F-fuck!" he cursed as he started to cum. It had been so long since the last time he had actually ejaculated. His resistance evaporated as soon his first shot burst inside her and it was too late. He just gripped her hips and pushed himself deeper as he came. "Twiley!" he moaned. As quick as it was, Twilight didn't expect herself to climax, though she had been close. But hearing him moan her name just as he came inside her struck her so unexpectedly that it sent her over the edge. Her pussy quivered and milked him as he continued to cum.

"Fuck. Fuck, you're safe right!?" he asked. Twilight just shuddered at the question's implications in the aftershocks of her orgasm.

"Yeah, of course I am," she lied. "This just saves a mess," she said, letting him finally pull out. Shining staggered back for a moment. Twilight shook the haze of her climax and got back to her serious task. She started dressing his upper half while his erection finished retreating into his sheath. She combed his mane with her magic while he got into the rest of his ceremonial outfit. She looked at the clock. They still had fifteen minutes. They made haste back to the castle.

"I think that was a record for you," she said quietly with a smirk.

"Yeah, well it's been a while," he said absentmindedly. Twilight's smile vanished.

"Oh... Sorry," Twilight said. Shining froze. His words registered in his head after he heard himself say them. He felt ashamed for admitting such a thing as a newlywed.

"I mean- I just mean, we've been so busy and- and..." he trailed off. He wanted to try to explain it to her. He tried to explain it to himself. But the words of his excuses sounded hollow, even to him. "It was nothing. All that... back there was nothing. I'm- I'm still a good pony!"

"I know that!" Twilight said with a worried expression. "Who ever said that you weren't?" He didn't answer. "Shining!?"

"A pony that cheats on his wife... with his own sister..."

"That doesn't make you a bad pony. You're still a good pony. Everything's going to be okay," she said.

"Everything's going to be okay," he repeated. He took a deep breath and put his hoof to his chest. Twilight did the same. Each of them 'pushed away' their worries.

"I'm not worried," Twilight said, finding that she actually felt it in her heart. Cadance's de-stress meditation method worked. "I'm not worried! It worked!" Shining nodded.

"Come on," he said. "We've got a Games Inspector to impress."

The next morning, Princess Celestia sat on the throne. Not the one in the throne room. The porcelain one. Princess Luna stood by the doorway of the royal washroom. On the counter beside Celestia sat the test kit. She watched and waited by the dawn's early light. Time did not pass any more quickly for an immortal being than anypony else. Two minutes was a long time for any mare in her position.

"What about Sunspot?" Celestia said.

"No way. Nebula. Princess Nebula!"

"It's going to be a colt. What about Solar Flare?"

"Any name with 'flare' in it sounds sexual," Luna said. Besides, how do you know it's going to be a colt?" Luna asked. "What about Nyx?

"Ugh! Who would name a pony that!? And it is going to be a colt. I can tell," said with certainty.

The solution in the kit changed color. Celestia read the back of the pregnancy test box again.

"How does that expression go about counting your foals before they hatch?" Luna asked. Celestia just stared at the tile floor and sighed in defeat. It was negative. "So what now?" Luna asked.

Fluttershy answered the knock at her cottage door.

"Oh my! P-Princess Celestia!" she squeaked and bowed quickly. "T-this is such an unexpected honor! W-what can I do for you, Your Majesty?" she asked.

"Hello Fluttershy," Celestia greeted. "Congratulations on helping the Crystal Empire become the host of the Equestrian Games.

"Oh... well, thank you," Fluttershy said.

"Though as for the social call, I was actually just wondering if... he was here."

"Oh, you mean Discord?" she asked. At the mention of his name, Discord appeared with a flash of light.

"You called, Fluttershy?" he asked and then looked at Celestia. "Oh. Is this pony bothering you? Do you need me to rough them up a bit!?" he asked, cracking his knuckles.

"Oh, goodness no!" Fluttershy said. "In fact Princess Celestia was just asking about you."

"Is that so?" Discord asked.

"Indeed," Celestia said. "Discord, is there someplace you and I could speak?"

"Oh, someplace where nopony will hear us? Certainly!" With a snap of his fingers the two of them vanished. An instant later, they reappeared. "Here we are!" Celestia fell to her knees and clutched her throat. She could see the whole world from where they were. It was very far away. "Someplace where nopony can hear us," he announced with pride. "The moon!"

Celestia flailed her hooves.

"I'm sorry princess. I can't here you either. You see, there's no air on the moon. And your spirit isn't magically trapped in the moon, like your sister was. So I imagine your experience must be a little different right now."

Celestia's panicked tears froze into ice at the corners of her eyes.

"If you'd like to return to Equestria, just turn blue with asphyxiation, and I will take that as your sign for your wish to depart." Celestia began to do exactly that. "Oh, all right. You're no fun at all." He snapped his fingers. The two of them reappeared on the top of Canterlot Mountain. The air was thin, but life-giving all the same.

"GAAHUUUUUH!" Celestia inhaled so hard it was like an inward scream.

"I believe what you're trying to say is 'thank you'."

"Thank you!?" she gasped angrily.

"You're welcome!" he cheered. "Now you were saying?"

"I'm going to kill you!" she growled between gasps.

"Such ingratitude! And just after I saved your life."

"I could have died!"

"Yes, that's what I meant by saving your life. And really, I would never do anything to kill you, Celestia. There's nothing more boring than a corpse. Though perhaps a zombie Celestia could be fun..."

"Discord!"

"Fine, fine. What is it that you wanted to talk about?" he asked. Celestia took a second to compose herself.

"I want you -"

"Whoa there!" Discord cut her off. "I'm friends with Fluttershy now. So I'm going to have to ask you to stop flirting with me!"

"I want you to..." Celestia huffed, "Could you do that prank on Luna again?"

"That poor mare. She has such a conniving sister. After being sent to the moon by, isn't being twice-made a stallion enough punishment too?"

"It's... it's not, uh, like that," Celestia said.

"Oh? Then what is it 'uh, like'?"

"She... her marefriend-"

"Ooh! Luna has a marefriend? Saucy!" he said. Celestia took a deep breath and counted to ten. Stay calm.

"Her... marefriend... wants to have a foal. And they tried the last time you... did that to Luna. But it didn't work."

"Hm hmhm..." A low laugh bubbled up from within Discord. It started so low and quiet it almost sounded like indigestion at first. It came out as a chuckle but then quickly boiled over into a fit of full-bellied laughter. "HUAHHAHAHA!" Discord fell over onto the ground. "OH HAHAHA OH MY SIDES! OH! OH this it TOO MUCH! AHHA HAHAHA! Priceless!"

Celestia waited.

"Are you quite finished?"

"OH HAHAAHA! Look how serious you are! So haughty and coy! Like you're so sure that I don't know!" he laughed harder.

Celestia's poker-face cracked.

"Oh, to have been a fly on the wall when she had your face shoved into that pillow!"

Celestia's hoof moved in a flash and gave him an uppercut so hard that his head came clean off of his neck. But that didn't stop it from laughing. She stomped it into the snow until it was a crimson slushy.

"Really, now," the freshly appearing head on his neck said, "Don't you think that's a bit much?"

"NOT A WORD!" Celestia screamed, kicking his legs out from under him. "Not a word to anypony about anything!" she yelled, stomping the rest of his body until her fur was likewise stained. A face formed in the puddle of... Discord.

"Oh I wouldn't dream of it," Discord said, reforming into his normal self, creating a zipper over his mouth. He unzipped it with his paw to speak. "And really, who would believe me? Remember, you're the perfect princess, and I'm the evil draconequus. And besides-" he snapped his fingers, making several books appear in his arms. "... these guys have already done a much better job of it." He showed some of them to her. A Tail of Two Sisters. Princest. Lunestia. Eclipse. And more.

"You really should visit the erotic section of the bookstore more often," he said. "Some of these are just positively inspired! Eclipse, where the moon comes in front of the sun! I mean, you just can't beat wordplay like that!" Celestia's cheeks turned redder than her hooves. Another snap of his fingers and the books vanished again.

"What do you want?" Celestia growled.

"What make you think that I want anything?"

"You're blackmailing me."

"I'm not. And besides I already told you that my word isn't worth much in this realm. And any evidence I could produce would be regarded as fabrications. A downside to being able to do almost anything is a complete loss of credibility like that. And I think the more relevant question here is what you want. Which I find hilarious."

"Fine then," Celestia said. "Laugh it up. But can you still do it?"

"Of course I can. But that's not the point. It's not about what you want me to do, but why," he said.

"The why is none of your concern,"

"Oh, but it is!" he said. "Because Luna can never give you a foal!" The words struck Celestia like a swift slap across her face. Her last shred of poise melted away.

"W- what!?" she asked in sad desperation.

"I can do almost anything, Celestia. But as much as it pains me to admit it, I'm not an omnipotent god. I do have limits. I could give her a penis that would give you cider, or even confetti... But never a foal."

"..."

Celestia felt her throat tighten. She failed to sniff back her tears. He hadn't expected to make her cry.

"I- I'm... sorry," Discord apologized, as the smile ran away from his face. "I guess it's really not that funny after all." He snapped his fingers and cleaned the snow and her fur of stains. He held his fingers up, ready to snap them again. "Can I offer you a ride home?" he asked. She shook her head.

"No. Thank you. I think I'll fly. I... need some time to think." Celestia turned and jumped off the edge of the mountain.

~

Back at the castle, Luna was waiting in Celestia's bedroom. She reared up onto the edge of her bed and idly thrusted her hips while she looked at herself in the mirror until she heard Celestia land on the balcony. She opened the door and walked into her room.

"So...?" Luna asked. Celestia shook her head.

"It's not going to happen," she said. Luna hugged her. It looked like her sister needed it. Celestia hugged her back. She was too tired to cry. "Go on, I know you're tired. I'll see you at sunset," Celestia said and then kissed her farewell. Celestia watched her leave. Her eyes drifted across her room to Starswirl's unfinished spell book on her desk.

"Back to Plan A."