“So… what are we going to do about dinner?” Glitter asked as we made our way to the base of the mountain. Watcher was kind enough to turn off the turreted defenses so we didn’t get turned to small piles of glowing embers.

“Don’t know,” Blackjack grunted from Glitter’s back. “Don’t care. Not opening my eyes till we land,” she stated firmly.

“Touchdown! The Glitter has landed!” Glitter Bomb declared boldly. Blackjack cracked open an eye and instantly hopped to the earth. Spike’s mountain was to the east of us. To the west was… lots of wasteland. Pretty much all around was a great unknown. “So, what are we eating?”

“I told you, I don’t know.” Blackjack looked at me as I landed next to my friend. “I’m pretty sure I brought some supplies with me,” she said, rooting around in her saddlebag. “I’ve got plenty of bullets!”

I laid my ears back and gave Blackjack a flat look. “Blackjack, three cans of Cram, a box of snack cakes, and seven Sparkle Colas does not count as ‘supplies.’ Not to mention that Glitter ate all the cram.”

My purple friend grimaced at the mention of the name. “Eww, no more mystery hay, please! It tastes yummy, but my tummy gets tumbly thinking about it.”

“All the more reason to stop and scavenge, then,” I suggested, looking out over the ruined plains as we trotted along. “What about over there?” I asked, pointing out an old Pony Joe’s diner a kilometer or so distant.

Blackjack raised a hoof to shield her eyes from the setting sun. Then she looked back at me. “Well. Lead on,” she said with a smile, sweeping a hoof over towards the Pony Joe’s.

I blinked. “You’re... not going to argue with me?”

“Why? Is it a bad idea?”

I honestly wasn’t sure, if she was agreeing with me. “Well... it might be dangerous.”

“It might.”

“And you’re not going to stop me? Or try to talk me out of it? Or... teleport ahead and take them all out to make it safe for me?” I narrowed an eye, jabbing a wing at her. “You’re going to, aren’t you?”

She stared at me and then walked up and put her hooves on my shoulder. “Threnody. Your choice. We scavenge there. We scavenge somewhere else. Your call. I got your back.”

I stared back at her, my heart pounding in my chest. Wait. My choice? When… since when did I have to make all the decisions. Well, probably since you decided that it was a good idea to go on this trip, dummy. My inner voice was so helpful.

I swallowed. “Well, that looks like the most logical choice. So, I mean, how bad can a Pony Joe’s be?” I asked, hoping Blackjack wouldn’t give me an answer.

“Ghouls. Raiders. Monsters. Mines. Heartbreaking scenes of mass death and destruction. Sharp edges on tin cans. That’s just the standard stuff,” she said she walked next to me. A casual air surrounded her as she talked, but I could feel the edge of alertness as her red eyes scanned the old, weed-choked track we travelled down. Large, gnarled oak trees with sickly yellow-green leaves arched overhead.

“Oh, you really gotta watch those tin cans. It’s a good way to get an… an... oh what is the word? An abacus in your hoof?” Glitter asked, then shrugged. “The thingy where your hoof gets hot and feels like it’s on fire for a few days then you gotta cut out the grossness. Anyways, I remember going scavenging when I was with Caledonia and Dry Clean Only. It was always fun! It should be fun, right Blackjack?” Glitter asked, turning to look down at Blackjack.

“Sure, scavenging is fun!” Blackjack quipped.

“Scavenging is not fun!” I blurted, repeating the line beaten into my head by the ponies in Friendship and Junction City. “Any time we are out here, it could be the last time we go somewhere! You could die at any minute of any day while out in the wastes.”

I was about to continue when Glitter cut me off. “Threnody, I know that.” She said, frowning at me. “I lost friends when I first got forgotted by Unity. When I found out I was good with things that go boom, I killed five ponies. Don’t treat me like a filly!”

I was taken aback, as was Blackjack. I’d never felt anger and regret from Glitter before. Usually she was a happy ball of sunshine. “Glitter, I-”

“You didn’t ask, Threnody! Nopony does really. I feel bad about it now. I didn’t mean to drop the grenade right onto their pile of ammo! But, knowing it was an accident, and that they meant to hurted the townsponies who were nice to us made me feel less bad about it,” She looked back at Blackjack. “But don’t think I don’t think. I know it could be bad. But I am kinda hungry, and Threnody already doesn’t eat enough.” My eyes widened in surprise at her observation, and instantly I felt horrifically guilty for underestimating the awareness of my best friend.

Blackjack, for her part, watched the whole exchange with a somewhat amused smile. “Well, shall we get to it?” she asked, gesturing at the ruined shop that was parked at a crossroads. A half-dozen rusting wagons lay in rest in the parking lot. A yellowed sign read ‘Baker’s dozen with every order.’ Somepony had boarded over most of the windows, so it was impossible to tell what was inside.

I nodded, and drew the small disintegration pistol from the holster on my left foreleg. “Might as well get this over with,” I said, my words garbled somewhat by the bit in my mouth.

Glitter cast a shield around herself and trotted forward. She seemed to be focussed on the ground as we made our way toward the rusted front door to the donut shop. I tried to see what she was looking for, but ended up nearly walking into Blackjack, who gave me a look that in one moment said ‘if you shoot me in the ass, so help me…’

“No trippies!” Glitter said, and lightly nudged the door open. “You see anything, Blackjack?”

“No bodies. No artfully arranged heads on spikes. No barbed wire wrapped creatively around the genitals of captive ponies. So no raiders,” she said quietly, then yelled. “Hello?!” Into the diner. Something crashed in the back and she grinned. “Well, something’s in there!” Then she looked at me. “What’s your call?”

I felt my body going to red alert as soon as I heard the crash. Luna dammit. I was hoping to just get some supplies! I holstered my pistol so I could talk. I really, really wished I was a unicorn for about a half second.

“Glitter, do you see any trippies inside?” I asked, trying to look to see if I could see anything.

Glitter shook her head. “No trippies. Should be okay.”

I looked at Blackjack. “Can you be the first one in?” I asked. “If it’s somepony, please don’t shoot first and say hello and I’m sorry later!”

She pursed her lips and levitated the pump action shotgun. “Hello!” she yelled into the diner. “I’m sorry!” she said as she stepped inside. “We’re not here to kill anyone. We’re just after stuff.” She paused and glanced back at me. “Was it just me or was that just a little raiderish?”

I frowned and shook my head. “Yes! That was raider-ish!” I said, stepping forward into the donut shop proper. “If you’re-”

Click.

I froze as the floor shifted just slightly under my hoof. My eyes went wide as I looked at Blackjack, just before the world exploded and… I got covered in pink, sticky bubblegum. Well, when I say I, I meant Blackjack and I, who had the misfortune of being right next to me. Blackjack just turned to look at me, the left half of her face covered in a mask of mottled pink.

“I saw that going differently in my head…” I admitted as I looked at her gum spattered mane.

“Me too,” she admitted. “Keep a look out. The next one might not be sticky.” She said as she stepped further into the decrepit shop. The booths were arranged on three sides, half the tables collapsed or missing. The counter separated the front of the store from the back. A faded, cardboard cutout of a yellowish-brown stallion had the caption, ‘Try our special, donutopia! Just 49 bits!’ as he gestured to an impossibly large mound of stacked donuts.

I went to take a step forward, and realized I could no longer lift my hooves off the floor. “Uh… I… I think I’m stuck.” I said, drawing Blackjack’s attention back to me as Glitter tried to lift me off the floor with her magic.

“Mhmmm,” she said as she walked slowly forward, shotgun levitated, every other step making a wet, sticky ‘schlup’ noise on the filthy checkerboard linoleum. “If you’re listening, that was a cool trap but a terrible waste of gum.”

“I chew a lot of gum,” A soft tenor voice drawled back. “Though, if you don’t mind, I’d prefer you’d just as soon leave my house.” The stallion’s voice said, and I froze as I spotted the barrel of a grenade rifle poke over the counter. “I don’t want to hurt anypony, but this round isn’t made of gum, if you catch my meaning.”

Blackjack glanced at the rifle, then at me, and just looked at me, arching a brow, as if I knew what to do when glued to the floor with a grenade rifle pointed at me and my friends!

“We were just looking for supplies!” I said quickly, hoping I could fast talk my way out of this. “When we heard the crash, we thought you might be a critter, and I’d love to leave, but your gum kinda has me stuck.” Glitter pulled on me again, raising my head above the countertop with her magic for a split second before the gum snapped me back down and got me stuck fast to the ground again, jarring my legs and hooves. “Oww, Glitter!”

The voice started laughing as he heard me hit the ground. “Either you lot are the most incompetent raiders ever, or you’re telling the truth. If your unicorn friend lowers her shotgun, I’ll put Thump Thump away,” He offered, pulling the barrel of the grenade rifle back slightly.

I turned to Blackjack, and nodded to her. “I… think we’ll be okay.”

She cocked her head, and disappeared in a flash of white, appearing behind the counter with the shotgun pointed at his head. Her eyes scanned around the kitchen for a moment, then she relaxed. “Looks like it’s just him.” And with that she teleported back beside me, her shotgun raised. “Not totally incompetent,” she commented lightly with a smile.

The stallion let out a long sigh, then stood up, towering over the counter! He had a long, luxurious pink mane, and his coat was a bright periwinkle, though he looked at Blackjack with some wonderment as he stood. The stallion was nearly as tall as Glitter was! And… actually really cute, too.

Glitter gasped. “Oh my goodness! You are so pretty!” She squeaked, and in my head I could see little red hearts floating over my head toward him.

He blushed nearly as pink as his mane. “I… Uh… thanks?” he said, looking slightly bemused, then he shook himself. “I mean, it’s always nice to get a compliment from a pretty mare~” He replied, trying to sound smooth. I could feel it was working on Glitter, though I was less than impressed.

“Um, now that that’s handled and we’ve proved that our unicorn is scary when she can teleport to goddess knows where, do you have something to help me get unstuck?” I asked, wishing I had a pin to pop the hearts floating above my head.

“Rude,” Blackjack said with a smile. “I’m Fish. This is Threnody and Glitter.” She said, gesturing to me and my friend in turn. “What’s your name?” she asked with a wide smile, enjoying this immensely! Oh no, not her too!

The stallion inclined his head. “Bubblegum. Or, uh, Bubbles. To ponies who know me well,” He said, though I could feel his suave resolve beginning to falter slightly at having two mares give him attention at once. “Welcome to my humble home, and uh, oh! Sorry about the front door. Most ponies knock, and well, when Fish called out, it startled me and I er… tripped. In a buff manner. Over some cans.” I smirked as his composure wavered.

“I want to call you Bubbles,” Glitter Bomb said in a daze.

Blackjack just laughed and shook her head. “Okay. So now that we know who everyone is, do you have a trick for getting gum out of our coats? Otherwise I’ll need to use plan B, and Thren wouldn’t look good shaved.”

I snorted at Blackjack. She… she wouldn’t shave me! Wait… no, she totally would! I was so doomed…

Bubblegum perked up. “Oh! Yeah, let me get the solvent!” He said, trotting back into the back of the shop. “The thing that makes my sticky bombs sticky isn’t really the gum, but the wonderglue I mix with it,” he explained.

Blackjack snorted. “So what is the gum for? Cause I’ve wonderglued the ass of a pony to the ground before. It does make for a good motivator to stay put and stop fighting. Even if your method isn’t as… humiliating as having your butt suddenly stuck fast to concrete.”

“Ah, but see, humiliation is what the gum is for. Imagine how ridiculous you’d look, even if you were a raider, if you came back and had this mass of gum stuck to your face. Good way to lose any and all cred out here in the wastes,” Bubblegum replied, returning from the back of the shop with a can of turpentine. “Here, this should do the trick to break it down. Just… close your eyes and uh, well, I can see if I can kick the water talisman in the back the right way to make it work so you can wash the turpentine out of your manes,” he said, an apologetic look on his muzzle.

“Just get me off of your floor, please,” I said, trying to not be too grumpy at him. I mean, it could have been worse. He could have used real grenades.

Glitter took the can of turpentine and unceremoniously dumped it on my head.

“Glitter!” I shouted, quickly closing my eyes as the foul smelling liquid flowed over my head and back. Great, now I couldn’t see. But I was almost positive, based on that irritating saccharine wash of infatuation that I was getting from Glitter and Blackjack’s uproarious laughter that she clearly had just taken the can and continued staring at Bubblegum. I tested my hooves, and happily found that I could pull free of the floor.

“Fine, Blackjack? Help me find the shower. And rub your face on me to get the gum out of your mane,” I grumbled, holding out a hoof for her to lead me.

“Shower?” Blackjack snorted, and then broke into laughter. “I’m pretty sure this place doesn’t have running water, and if it does, you get to soak up some rads with it. I doubt you’d like them as much as Glitter.”

“I did say that the water talisman kinda worked…” Bubblegum started. “But I also have rad-away for the rads you’d soak up using it.”

“Bah, told you a shower wouldn’t work! Fortunately, I have a solution!” Blackjack said with a snicker. Based on the rolling wave of barely hidden giggles, I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like the solution. Suddenly I felt myself soaked head to hoof in something sticky, tepid, vaguely fizzy, and only slightly less caustic than turpentine. Reeking of carrots, I cracked an eye and looked at two empty soda bottles hovering over me.

“Okay… well… that… Fish, I’m only slightly less sticky than when I started!” I protested. Bubblegum cracked up laughing at the pair of us. “This was not a good plan!”

“At least you smell nice, Threnody,” Glitter said, trotting over to pat my head. “Sorry I dropped the whole thing on you. I was uh…”

“Ogling the eye candy?” I asked tartly, causing both Glitter and Bubblegum to blush.

Blackjack’s horn glowed and I stared as the magic just slid the pink goo off her, wadding it into a big ball. “That... that’s cheating!” I snapped.

“That’s learning,” Blackjack replied as she tossed it to the side, letting the glob stick to the wall. “Pretty sure you’re going to watch out next time.”

Bubblegum continued to snicker, then looked at the glob on the wall. “I kinda like that blob there. It almost matches my cutie mark!” He shook his head. “Anyways, you said you were looking for supplies?” He asked, looking the three of us over. “Uh… got anything to trade? I do have some food stored here if you’ve got caps.”

I glanced at Blackjack. That was something we didn’t have. “Um, we might be able to work out a trade?” I offered as I started to dig through my saddlebags, which weren’t very full to begin with.

I turned to look at Glitter as she began shaking her rump. Odd bits and baubles fell out of her lovely purple tail. Tin cans, a toy carriage, a plastic dinosaur that squeaked as it bounced off the floor. But no caps. “Oh! Mr. Chompers! I wondered where you went!” She said, picking up the dinosaur and putting it in her mane.

Bubblegum pursed his lips at the random things Glitter dropped from Luna knows where. “I… would like to help you out, but… I really need caps more than I need um… toys?”

Blackjack watched all of this with a warm smile, then asked, “What do you need caps for out here? You’re alone.”

The big stallion wilted slightly at the word ‘alone.’ Oh. That was a sore nerve that Blackjack had just struck. “I do sometimes do other things than live here, Fish,” He said quietly. “Usually I work as a mercenary, helping guard caravans that come through here. Or I make bubblegum and sell it in bulk to large towns.” He shrugged. “Caps talk.”

“What a coincidence. We’re on a journey and could use your company. I’m sure that we’ll be able to cover your cost once we get to Junction City... Or Manehattan... Or wherever. And I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunity to sell gum along the way with us,” Blackjack said easily as she smiled at him like he was a tall, periwinkle bottle of Wild Pegasus. Oddly though, the lust coming from her was far less thick than it had been with Slate.

Glitter trotted over to Bubblegum’s side, giving Blackjack the briefest ‘I saw him first!’ glance. “And, I mean, we’re three fillies out here all alone! We really could use some help getting to Junction City! Please?” She asked, giving him a childishly overblown pouty face that looked out of place rendered on her adult features.

Great. Now we were seducing stallions. Not that Blackjack was wrong. We likely could pay him once we got to Junction City and got caught up with the Heartmenders. But the muted lust from Blackjack and the certainly not muted lust from Glitter worried me.

I sighed. “I work for the Followers of the Apocalypse. And… we could use some supplies and, well, I guess an escort to Junction City. I can promise you pay once we get there, but we don’t have anything right this moment,” I said honestly, looking at Blackjack as I gave her a worried look.

Bubblegum looked and felt very anxious as Glitter stood next to him. His cheeks took on a slightly pink hue as she smiled at him, her eyes half lidded. “I… uh. I mean, I do know the Followers. But what’s to say that you’ll actually pay me when I get you there?” he asked, leaning away from the lovestruck alicorn.

“You’ll have to trust us,” Blackjack answered. “After all, if we were raiders, I could have just killed you and taken your stuff. Granted, I can’t say how safe the trip will be, but it can’t be much worse than staying here all alone.”

I physically winced as ‘alone’ yet again hit home with Bubblegum. His pink eyes took on a slightly hollow look as he made eye contact with me. I could tell that he was already thinking about it, but to me, it felt like we were exploiting him. Stabbing guilt and self-reproach began to well inside me.

“Bubblegum, you don’t have to come with us if you don’t want to,” I said, meeting his eyes honestly. “We’re kind of a bunch of misfits, and what we’re up to isn’t like…” I frowned, unsure of how to explain our journey to somepony. “We don’t know how safe it will be. But I do know that we need to get to Junction City. It’s… really important. But if you don’t want to come, you don’t have to.” Damn it, why was Blackjack so amused right now?

I turned and glared at her. “What? What is so funny?” I snapped, giving her my best effort at a glare. It apparently was funny because she started chuckling at me.

“Just reminding me of back when I was starting out. I told Glory the same thing. ‘You don’t have to if you don’t want to.’” and with that her amusement died, her smile hollowing into a mask of amusement. “Just thought it was funny,” she said in a faintly subdued voice.

To my surprise, it was Bubblegum that perked up at ‘Glory.’ “Glory?” he asked. “As in Morning Glory?”

She looked at him and answered in a harder voice. “It’s a common name.”

Bubblegum’s ears drooped at her tone. “I… I guess so. It’s just… I knew a really nice pegasus named Morning Glory when I was a little colt. She brought food once to the place where I was staying to give some of the wastelanders,” he shook his head. “Guess it was just a common name, then.”

“No, that definitely sounds like her,” Blackjack said as she turned away. “Giving away priceless food because ponies need it.” That pit of self hatred was widening, opening like an abscess in her mind.

I trotted over and put a slightly sticky hoof on her shoulder as Bubblegum spoke up. “Oh! Well, if you knew her, then you must be a wonderful pony! I remember when she gave me a skyapple. She sat with me and helped me brush my mane out and said I was very brave for…” He looked down at his hooves. “For making my way alone,” he admitted quietly. I watched as Glitter hesitantly patted his back with a wing.

“So, you want the job or not?” Blackjack asked bluntly.

Bubblegum nodded. “I want the job. I have some food. A few other weapons. We can get moving sooner if one of you unicorn fillies helps me get my barding on.” He said, his voice full of resolve. “Anything to help a friend of Miss Glory.” He slipped out from beneath Glitter’s wing, and headed toward the back of the shop. “Come on back. I’ve got a bunch of stuff back here. If you’ve got saddlebags, we can share the load!”

I took the opportunity to brush my muzzle against Blackjack’s shoulder. “Talking about Glory still hurts really bad,” I said softly. “You wanna talk?”

“Always,” she said in a low voice. “And no,” she added, walking into the back, and forcing a smile on her face. “Sure. I’m all for sharing loads and stuff.”

Glitter and I trotted into what had once been the kitchen area of the Pony Joe’s. Bubblegum had cleared the shelves of the old pots and pans, and had stacked up all sorts of things on them. Apple-shaped silver grenades. 40mm rifle grenades. Boxes that were labelled 25mm grenades. Boxes of instamash and Big Mac and Cheese. Bottles of water and Sparkle Cola. My eyes widened as I looked at a massive battle saddle that was equipped with a gun that was nearly as big as I was.

“Where did you get all this stuff?” I asked, awed by the amount of things this pony had stashed.

“I’ve been saving things for years. I… always was good with explosives,” Bubblegum explained as he tugged a set of leather barding off of a shelf. Glitter’s horn lit up as she helped him into it. “So… I make my own nonlethal sticky rounds. But I also know when to use ones that kill. There’s always times when you have to kill,” He said, his voice taking on that slightly haunted tone. “Go ahead and grab what you can. I can always restock before I head back here from Junction City.”

“Must be an earth pony thing,” Blackjack murmured under her breath. Underneath the surface though, I could feel that churning ball of self-hate and loathing sitting somewhere around Blackjack’s heart. But, she seemed to be trying to keep it bottled up for now. She looked over Bubblegum’s grenade rifle with a wistful expression before asking, “So you know the way then?”

Bubblegum nodded. “Yeah, head west from here, and uh… Keep going west?” He said looking sheepish, pulling on the battlesaddle. He kicked his 40mm grenade rifle with his back hoof, causing it to flip over his back to land neatly in the holster opposite the big gun. “Okay, honestly, I have no real idea. Most of the time, I just follow where the Caravans go.”

Glitter looked down at the big, cannon-like device. “Wow. That is such a big... gun. A really big gun. A really big... shiny... gun...” she muttered.

Blackjack chuckled again, but Bubblegum’s eyes turned to the hulking weapon. “Yeah, she’s a beauty. Shame she doesn’t work though.”

“She... I mean it... doesn’t?” I asked. Glitter swiped a snack cake off the shelf, unwrapped it and tossed the whole thing into her mouth in one gulp.

“Nah. It used to be mom’s, but... it got broke a while back,” he said with another wave of bittersweet memory as he looked to us. “Any of you know anything about fixing guns?”

Glitter shook her head, then looked suddenly sheepish as she was caught with a pilfered snack cake in her mouth. She swallowed, then started loading up boxes of food into her saddlebags. Her muzzle scrunched slightly as she got to a small stack of Cram. “I just am good with things like the glitter apples,” She explained, pointing at his small stack of grenades. “I get kinda lucky when I throw them.”

Bubblegum snickered. “Well, then why don’t you take those. I’ll stick with Thump Thump,” he said, patting his grenade rifle as he slipped on a pair of saddlebags and started pulling ammunition and food into his bags. I watched as his strong hooves moved the sets of 40mm grenades effortlessly. Watched as his toned, pert- Ack! No! Bad Threnody!

I quickly tried to find something else to do as I caught myself starting at the stallion’s cute butt. Argh! Now I was thinking about it! No! No thinking like Blackjack!

I grabbed a few bottles of Sparkle Cola and tried to find something else to look at. And think about. I made eye contact with Blackjack, hoping she hadn’t caught where my gaze had been lingering on Bubblegum. The slight smile I detected in her red eyes told me I’d been found out.

“Admiring the scenery?” She asked, a smirk on her muzzle.

I took in a deep breath and trotted out the door. “I’ll be outside when you all are ready!” I called over my shoulder as I flew out of the old rusty red door. I didn’t want to deal with that right now. Looking at colts was always a bad idea. Looking at fillies was a bad idea. Looking at ponies like that led you down the path to being like Blackjack!

I shuddered, and spread my wings. They cracked, strained, and pinched as the dried soda irritated my feathers and stuck them together. Great. Now I probably couldn’t fly until I preened them. Argh! Why was nothing ever easy!? I allowed myself a moment of self-pity, then shook my head. This was how things were when you weren’t pampered at home. I’d survive it. Somehow.

“Wait, you’re how old?!” Glitter squeaked as she and Bubblegum talked around the fire we’d lit at our small campsite. We’d made camp at a little spring an hour or two south of the donut shop. Glitter had said the water didn’t make her feel all tingly, so we assumed it was safe enough to drink and wash all the sticky off me. Glitter and the earth pony stallion were sitting on the opposite side of the flames from Blackjack and I, learning about each other with oddly depressing interest.

Bubblegum blushed. “I’m fifteen. I’m just tall. Kinda.” He said sheepishly, before digging into a pot of baked beans he’d been heating over the fire.

“That means you’re like, only two years older than me!” Glitter replied, giggling happily as she nibbled on an ear of roasted corn.

“Wait, only two years older than you? I thought alicorns lived a long time!” Bubblegum exclaimed, looking thoroughly confused.

“Oh, they do. I just didn’t become an alicorn when I was old like Fishie. I was a little filly. Or so Callie thinks. She says I sorta am a little like a young mare!” She said brightly. “I asked what my birthday was, so she told me a day and guessed an age when we became not Unity-ed and nine years later now I’m thirteen! And you’re just a year older than Threnody!”

I listened thoughtfully as my friend talked. Blackjack piped up, “I guess I didn’t realise that you would have joined Unity as a young filly, Glitter. It does kinda make sense though why you and I always got along better than all the other alicorns!”

Glitter nodded sagely. “Well, yeah, duh! The other alicorns were all old. Or weird. Like Pickled Pallet. She always says she used to be a he, and always whines about ‘where’s my penis, I miss my penis!’ Weird.” She said, shaking her head.

Bubblegum shifted his hind legs closer together. “Well, I mean… you take away a colt’s pride, and he gets a bit upset,” he said quietly.

“Why? Is it magic? Does your penis do special things?” Glitter gasped. “Does it heal things like Threnody does?”

“Only if he’s a batpony,” Blackjack deadpanned.

I snorted at her response, and shook my head. “I think what Bubblegum is trying to say is that he’d be uncomfortable too if he suddenly woke up in the body of a mare,” I said, trying to draw Glitter’s attention away from the poor colt for just a moment. “Though I do think that stallions are lucky in that they don’t have to deal with things like periods or seasons, depending on where you grew up.”

Blackjack looked at me, a queer expression on her face. “What in the hell is a ‘period’?”

I sighed. “Well, because you grew up in a stable, your biology didn’t adapt to the wasteland. Two hundred years of struggling to rebuild the population, and some mares' biologies shifted from a yearly cycle to a monthly cycle. It’s… rather annoying, or so I hear. But it also means that a mare can get pregnant pretty much any time rather than only a select month out of the year.” I explained, getting a disturbed look, a blank look, and a curious look. “There’s... bleeding involved... you know... from your filly bits... every month? Or so I’m told.” Okay, make that three disturbed faces.

“That sounds pretty terrifying, and I’ve seen screaming rooms,” she answered. “Just shove a piece of copper up there and call it good.”

I shrugged. “I mean, Sandalwood has bitched about it before. I know that mares who are from like, the Stables around the Hoof would talk about if they didn’t get pregnant after their season, they’d bleed a bit. But… I don’t know. I just know what the mares taught me in Junction City. I’ve never had one myself. And that apparently freaked out Sandalwood for some reason.”

“Um... why are you talking about this?” Bubblegum asked with a strained smile of failing feigned coolness. “Is there a reason we’re talking about this?”

I snorted, then took a bite of mac and cheese. “Uh… mostly to get off the topic of sex. Cause knowing my luck Bl- Fish will want to play like, Truth or Dare or something horrifyingly sexual that she used to play in 99 and then I’ll feel weird.” I looked around, realizing that I’d managed to gross out my friends. “Do we have ketchup?” I asked with a wicked grin.

“Can we not talk about red things for a little while?” Glitter asked, looking positively green.

“So where are you from, exactly?” Blackjack asked coolly as she gave that sure smile to the young stallion.

Bubblegum shook himself before answering. “I grew up on the road. Mom and Dad were traders, and they tended to trade from Manehattan to the edge of the Hoof. I couldn’t even tell you where I was born.” He explained with a shrug. “So… the wasteland? That’s where I’m from. How about ya’ll?”

“Junction City. Well, recently Elysium but mostly Junction City,” I replied as quickly as I could.

“Unity, till I was deunity-ed. So Maripony?” Glitter offered.

“Nowhere important,” Blackjack answered, her eyes lingering on his defunct grenade launcher. “That’s some firepower for a trader. More like a Steel Ranger weapon.”

Bubblegum looked down at the grenade machinegun. “I… don’t really know where mom got it. I know they weren’t Rangers. At least, I don’t think they were. My dad told me he took over the caravan when his pa was killed. Mom…” he trailed off. “I honestly don’t know. Mom never really said. Just said that she loved Dad and that was that.”

I shivered, and moved closer to both Blackjack and the fire as the cool feelings of sadness, loss, and regret rolled off of Bubblegum. I really wished that Blackjack would stop poking at the poor colt’s obvious heart wound! “Fishie, could you stop like… trying to pick at pony’s emotional scabs?” I asked, frowning at her. “It’s like you want to hang out with the most angsty ponies in the wasteland!”

“I have that effect on people,” she answered with that infuriating little smile.

Bubblegum shot me a look. “I’m not angsty. Just the wasteland ain’t kind sometimes, you know? There’s a reason why I was an orphan when I met Miss Glory. The raiders around the Hoof were a whole new breed of crazy. They weren’t just bandits. They were… I don’t even know.” he said, anger and hate flaring into a small emotional typhoon. “They were sick, sick ponies. The only time I ever saw Mom use this,” He explained, patting the gun. “Was the day she died. The day they both died. It… hasn’t worked since then.”

Glitter Bomb let her ears droop, and lightly lay a big purple wing over Bubblegum’s back. “I’m sorry the scary dumb ponies killed your parents, Bubbles.”

Bubblegum shrugged. “Hey, shit happens, right Bl-” He paused. “Er, Fish.”

My eyes widened at the name Bubblegum had started to say. I looked over at Blackjack. The hell? “What… did you just say?” I asked slowly.

“Fish?” He asked innocently, taking another bite of beans and chewing very, very slowly. Almost like he didn’t want to be asked more questions.

Shit. He was a spy! He was sent to spy on us! Watcher lied!

Conspiracy theories tumbled through my brain as I very quietly panicked. Blackjack, however, reacted neither physically nor emotionally. Had she not noticed, or did she really not care? “Yeah. I’d say shit happens,” she answered calmly as she gazed at him. “Have we met?”

Bubblegum shook his head. “We haven’t. Not… that I know of. I used to run around with the Crusaders before the battle of the Hoof. You just… remind me of a mare that-”

“Died?” Blackjack suggested, her tone even and cool.

Bubblegum looked down at his pot of beans, his muzzle scrunched up. “I… well… everypony said she died. But she’d done that a lot. And she had like, a boat fall on her. Twice, according to Adagio. So I thought maybe-”

“You probably recall she had a cutie mark of playing cards,” Blackjack said before gesturing to her own bare flank. “I don’t,”

He frowned slightly. “But… didn’t she get put in a weird body?” He asked. My eyes narrowed at his line of questioning. I wasn’t sure I liked just how bright this colt appeared to be.

“I like how he doesn’t ask why a mare your age doesn’t have a cutie mark, Fishie.” Glitter snickered.

“I wonder why he’s not staring at my butt. I must be getting old. Or do I look like a mare in my late twenties?”

Bubblegum blushed. “I have been looking at your flank! All of your flanks!” He blurted, then covered his mouth with a hoof. “I mean, er. You look like you’re maybe a few years older than me,” he admitted, obviously trying to regain some composure. His face fell. “Which… I guess.” He shook his head. “Sorry I nearly called you Blackjack, Miss Fish.”

“It’s fine. I get it a lot,” she answered. “Even these two call me Blackjack sometimes. But I’m not her.”

Blackjack’s words sat like a 20 kilo weight in my stomach. I didn’t like lying to Bubblegum. He seemed like a nice, honest colt, and he didn’t deserve to be lied to. Even if the truth…

I looked up to find Blackjack’s red eyes boring into mine. I could almost hear ‘it’s your call’ in her voice in my head, and I knew I had to keep telling the lie. If ponies knew that Blackjack was alive, it would make things even more complicated for us. Even more dangerous for us as we travelled to Junction City. I let my green eyes cool as I stayed silent.

“I call her that because of her mane,” Glitter said helpfully. Her bright innocence appeared to seal the deal for Bubblegum, and he didn’t bring it up the rest of the night.

Blackjack and I volunteered for first watch, so when I was certain that Glitter and Bubbles were asleep, I finally spoke.

“I don’t like lying. You’ve made me tell the truth too much, Blackjack.”

“So don’t lie,” she answered, her eyes locked on the dying fire. “Tell him the truth. He won’t mind either way.”

I sighed softly. “But… the truth is dangerous. I can’t justify in my own head putting him at more risk than he already is by travelling with us by telling him the truth.”

“Then lie,” she stated quietly. “Oh, wait, you don’t like that. Sounds like you’re doomed to misery, either way.”

“I’m not doomed to misery. I’m… conflicted. You told me I should speak up and tell the truth in Junction City. I… I’ve kind of accepted I have to do that. I still don’t know how I will, but I know I have to. I just don’t want to bring a world of hurt down on somepony that’s already had some hard times. That feels extremely cruel.”

“The pony who hurt you. Is she hurting another filly right now? Doing to them what was done to you?” Blackjack asked, her eyes still on the embers.

“I don’t know that, Blackjack. You know I don’t know that. But because I don’t know that, I want to make sure that she never gets the opportunity to hurt another filly again.” I said resolutely.

“So are you going to kill her?”

I recoiled like she’d slapped me. How could she ask such a thing? I didn’t want to kill her! I wanted to make sure she stopped hurting ponies! “Of course not! Why would you ask that?”

“As Rampage would say, it’s always an option, and it’s generally pretty reliable. Mostly. Depends on how much weirdness is in her life.” She said with a tiny smile. “So are you going to try and sic the Followers on her? Let them kill her for you?”

“The Followers don’t kill except in cases of self defense,” I retorted. “So telling the Followers wouldn’t do me any good,” That lead weight sat in my stomach again. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Blackjack. I just don’t want to see her hurting anypony else. If that means making her publicly own up to her deeds to face trial within the NCR? I… I don’t know how they’d react,” I lied, knowing the answer to that question. What little I knew of the NCR’s justice was that rapists and foal molesters tended to be hanged. Which only made me feel more sick. By telling the truth, I was effectively ending somepony’s life.

Blackjack didn’t say anything for almost a minute as I pondered this. “Well, you have some time to make up your mind. One way or another.” Why was she smiling? This wasn’t a conversation for smiling!

I felt utterly sick, and curled up into a ball beside her. “I don’t even know if I’m worth the trouble I’m going through to try to speak about it.”

She gave a little grunt. “If we hadn’t left, what would we be doing right now? Me getting drunk. Screwing Slate. You being grouchy. No matter what you do, you do something. Me... I’m just glad to be moving again.”

I lay my cheek on my hoof and looked up at her. “Well, you’re worth getting moving again.” I said quietly. “And I do mean that personally, not just cause I’m a Heartmender.”

“So... what’s next?” she asked. “Where do we go tomorrow?”

I frowned. If I had my pipbuck, I could have told her. “Well, I figure we keep heading west. Bubbles may not know the way to Junction City, but… maybe if we find our way to Manehattan, then we’ll have an easier time getting down to where we need to be?” I asked, getting up onto my haunches, only to flop over and rest my head on her shoulder.

“Are you in a hurry to get there?” Blackjack asked without looking at me. I shook my head once. “Then maybe we should go south. Or go north and follow the coast. We don’t have to go straight there. That is, unless you’re in a hurry.”

I wasn’t in a hurry. I definitely didn’t need to hurry to get there. In fact, right now, I was right where I wanted to be. With my best friend. With a new friend. With Blackjack. I nuzzled into her shoulder, taking in her soft, sweet scent. “I’m… okay with not hurrying,” I said softly as I smiled up at her. “Hey Blackjack?”

“Hmm?” she finally looked down at me with that small smile.

When she moved to look down at me, it brought her muzzle just a bit closer to mine. I felt my heart start to race, but it was a good racing. Not panic. Just… beating faster because she was close. My emerald eyes locked with hers as I felt myself being drawn closer to her lips. “C-can you?” I asked, moving closer to her muzzle. A part of my brain started scolding me about clients, ethics, and kissing fillies, but I ignored it. “I mean, um… is it okay?”

“You tell me,” she asked, keeping her voice down.

“It’s okay,” I whispered back. Blackjack was safe. She may not be stable. She may not be perfect. But she was safe. And I liked the idea of safe. Safe felt good. And smelled good. So I inched my muzzle a little closer to hers.

“Ask me tomorrow,” she said then rose to her hooves. “Get some sleep. I’ll keep watch,” she said as she stared out at the night with a tiny smile.

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. Had… had I done something wrong? What did I do wrong? I lay down and curled up, my own emotions a whirling swirl of confusion, frustration, love, curiosity, lust, sadness, and dejection. What did I do wrong?

Author's Notes:

So funny thing about this chapter. I posted Chapter 6, snagged Somber, and then 3 hours later, this chapter was done. It's been a bit with editing, and a few days to let things percolate, it's done! Thanks to Bronode and Kenzie and Somber for helping me edit. Especially Kenzie and Bro, who looked away for 3 hours and suddenly had 19 pages of text to edit. Sorry! >///<

Also, the recommended story this week is Fallout Equestria: Wasteland Economics by Doctor Ham. It's a good story, well liked, and definitely worth a read!