“No fucking toilet paper? This prison is a shit hole, a literal hole let me tell you. I'm going to give it the worst possible rating on Facebook ever once I get out of here.” I grumbled while sitting on the prison bench and glaring at the cell door.

The nerve of these Gryphons and their toilet paperless ways. I swear, it's as if this world has been reverted back to the Medieval ages where tree leaves were used to wipe over your afterburner after eating some unhealthy shrooms or whatever.

It must have been truly disgusting. Which certainly explains why everybody around here runs around naked for the most part. Specifically in the lower regions where all of the testicles are.

It all makes sense now.

“Here.” Someone shouted as a whole pile of palm leaves were shoved through the cell door's bars, landing right next to the shit-stained bucket and the fungus I previously mentioned.

I frowned. “Are you crazy? Do you have any idea how sharp these palm leaves can be? I can’t use that!” I complained.

All I heard was a huff, before the Gryphon casually walked away, leaving me with the most uncomfortable toilet paper ever conceived by mortals minds, right next to sandpaper.

These truly are dark days it seems. First, a lack of coffee, and now no toilet paper.

“Stop complaining. At least be grateful that those feather-brains are even providing you with those and not chucking you directly into the silver mines like they do with most prisoners.” I heard someone criticize. Which seemed to be coming from behind a wall next to me, which was fairly curious.

This confused me at first, before I realized that the left wall of my cell had an arm-sized hole in it.

I felt curious as I made my way to the peep hole and peeked through, only to be greeted by two Zebra occupants.

One of them was actually chained up against the wall, and looking quite rough and messed-up judging by his ruffled fur and many scars. Especially on his right eye and the eyepatch he wore over it. But besides those, he still looked fairly taught despite his vulnerable position. With his long-ass beard and of course his fairly bulky form.

He certainly looked like someone you don’t want to get into a bar fight with.

I should hire him if we get out of here. Just to give Bakuss a worthy rival.

I am a sucker for some good drama.

“Well hello there to you too, neighbor. I see that you seem to share the same neglect of proper personal hygiene just like the Gryphons do. Don’t let me lecture you on how many ways someone could die from their own poop if it's not properly disposed of. None of them are particularly appetizing to hear or nice to know about.” I greeted, trying to look and sound smart at the same time despite only half of my face being visible from the hole.

The Zebra in question turned his head to me in confusion and was about to retort. That is, until he finally seemed to realize who I was, just through half of my face alone.

“Wait… aren’t you… aren’t you the new Monkey King fella'? The one I heard a couple of guards here talk about?” The young Zebra asked out loud, which also woke up the other guy next to him.

The first thing he did was to smack the younger Zebra on his flank with his back leg, which forced him to fall off his bench, causing a rather loud thud when his body impacted the floor. “Be quiet. The last thing you want is these Gryphons to know is that they managed to capture a king. It would not just endanger him, but all of us at the same time.” The big guy chided.

I was intrigued by that. Not because of his comment, but rather at his voice, which perfectly matched his appearance. Deep, course, and very rough, while also holding an air of wisdom behind it. Warrior wisdom to be precise.

In other words, an individual who would make a fine addition to my collection, if I get him out of here. IF I ever get out here.

Either way, he continued to speak before I could.

“So… what is a so-called 'legend' like you doing in such a dark and mold-encrusted place like this? Wouldn’t a high-status person like you be swarmed with guards twenty-four seven? Or have they truly become this incompetent over the years that they allow themselves to be ambushed by a gang of simple sand raiders? Wouldn’t really surprise me if it's the latter though considering how decadent the Zebra guards have become.” The gruff-looking stallion commented.

“Well… that's simple,” I began while raising a finger, even though they couldn't see it. "I simply allowed myself to be captured." I added, short and sweet, which caused the young stallion to look at me with confusion while his older partner in crime just rose an eyebrow at me.

With his good eyebrow to be precise.

“Well… either you are extremely brave, or suicidal. Neither of which matter right now anyway. These cowardly hybrids chained me to this cell because I almost killed three of their guards when they were trying to haul me down into the mines. But still… what's your story then?” He questioned, giving me a sincere but retained curious look about my story.

Or rather, my reasoning as to why I would allow myself to be captured in the first place.

“Well, it's simple. I allowed myself to be captured in hopes of meeting up with the culprits who have possibly taken both the son and daughter of Chieftain Solum of the Sand Hunters, and Chieftain Tenojek of the Steppe Riders captive. I'm not sure if I'm at the right address here, but I think I just saw a pair of young-looking adults or teens in two separate cells when I was brought down here. Not sure if it's them but… well, I was actually about to ask if either of you know some of these prisoners? At least then my intended capture wouldn’t have been a complete waste if those two are actually here. At least then it means that my plan has worked and that I am a great detective after all. Though I obviously still need to work on my escaping skills after all. Right now I have no idea on how to get out of this place. Like how I somehow managed to get myself lost in the glass maze on one of those Fanfares backs in Germany. Those glass mazes are a madhouse I tell you. Another piece of my sanity lost on that day. I will never forget, you tiny piece of my sanity. I never will.” I responded, before once again going off onto my usual ramblings. Also derailing the actual conversation for good measure.

This ramble of mine simply caused the other dude to just scratch his head in total confusion while the other, more 'mature' looking guy looked a bit more thoughtful instead. Sadly so, as I would have loved seeing him totally confused too with that tough face of his.

But then again, I guess this guy looks a bit too tough to be confused in the first place. But one can dream.

“Well… if you are looking for Tenojek’s daughter, then you are certainly in the right place. My niece is here, along with a boy. Such a shame.” The big guy explained, with a small sigh at the end.

Now it was my turn to be surprised. Crazy, I know.

“Wait… so you're saying that Tenojek is actually your brother? Then how come he never mentioned you when I talked to him?” I questioned.

The old dude closed his eyes. “Well why should he? I neglected my tribe's old traditions by abandoning my birthright as the first-born and leaving everything behind for my own personal goals. I always wanted to see the world, which I did as a mercenary. My exceptional warrior and animal taming skills were the only two traits that would have gotten me anywhere in the big wide world. So again, he has no reason to ever talk about his big brother if he had dishonored both his tribe and his father's wishes. And to be fair, I don't regret my decision one bit, even in my current situation.” He responded.

What an intriguing backstory. But none of that matters when one thing was quickly proven right. That the two chieftains' kids were actually here and that my gamble in the end was not a waste after all.

I was right, and everybody else was wrong. Score one for the randomly-guessing madman.

“YEEES!” I yelled while doing a fist pump. Maybe a bit too loud.

“By the gods… where did this volume come from?” The poor guy stated as he picked himself up again after I scared him with my sudden scream.

Too bad, because I was far too busy doing my jig to listen to his complaints.

I was right and everybody else was wrong. My ego was satisfied, oh so satisfied.

And speaking of egos, one random and seemingly out of place thought suddenly entered my mind as I was wrapping up my dance.

The fact that I have some weird and strange physical abilities that I've somehow neglected all this time.

Abilities that can easily get me out of here without the use of a single brain cell. With the minor risk of alerting the whole keep, of course.

But hey, “Wer nicht wagt der nicht gewinnt” is the old German slogan.

I decided to save the rest of my jig for a later date before approaching the cell door with one simple goal in mind.

But first, I needed someone's attention.

“Guards, guards quick! I used the palm leaves you provided and now I'm bleeding out! Help! HEEEEELP!” I called out, making myself sound as distressed as humanly possible. Which I am really good at I might add.

“For the love of the sky gods, if this is going to be the norm for you then I'll just-” He was about to threaten me before he suddenly got a face full of door along with its hinges; knocking him out as his body was buried beneath the torn-off cell door.

I felt ecstatic, so much so that I had to stop myself and look down at my flip-flop-wearing foot.

I should really make an effort to keep these strange but highly helpful and amusing new abilities in mind for the future. Who knows how easy life can be when abusing the ever-living shit out of them?

“What the… what was that?” I heard one of the inmates question as I stepped out of the cell as if nothing happened, before quickly snatching the cell keys from the now-downed prison guard.

“Ah… here they are.” I commented as I grabbed the keys from his unconscious form before quickly making my way to the closest cell to my right before fiddling with its lock.

Because I got to conserve my AMAZING strength in case this prison break turns ugly.

Either way, the reaction I got from the two Zebras on the other side was quite predictable. Looking up at me with both shock and surprise at the same time.

"Your Highness… you… you are free, and so quickly? But… but how?” One of the two Zebras asked when I tried to undo the chains on him that kept him and his partner bound to the wall behind them.

Well, I guess I managed to stumble upon two of my three guards then. Good, because then I can hand them the keys while I can continue to go Rambo on the other doors. Busting down doors is far more fun.

So much for the idea of conserving my strength.

“Ok, now take these.” I said before handing him the warden’s keys. "Go free everyone else while I do the same with my more… brutal methods.” I stated, before rubbing my hands with a malicious smile plastered on my face.

The guard simply nodded, before dashing off to do his deed, along with his partner.

With those two gone I refocused my attention back on my own self-given task of smashing doors and breaking some floors.

Because these doors look heavy as shit.

One massive kick later and the second door of the day was down, along with the expressions of those behind it.

“By the gods above… what the...?” The smaller stallion stuttered, while mister tough-guy simply raised an eye at my brutal entrance. His good eye to be precise.

“Well… this is certainly something I've never seen across my travels. At least… not by someone of your size.” He commented while I was inspecting the thick chains that kept him bound.

I wonder if I am also strong enough to break apart these chains since I'm kicking down reinforced doors.

Only one way to find out.

“Time to test my limits.” I stated boldly before grabbing the chains and getting ready for the pull of my life.

Quite literally in fact, as this was easily the most effort I ever put into a pull. Even when comparing it to me pulling out the weeds from my front lawn. But that is once again a story for another time as I have a huge ass chain to pull out from the wall.

Or rather I tried to, as these chains proved themselves to be quite stern and sturdy in their resistance.

I think I have just found my limit. Which was to be expected, and also quite disappointing. But hey, I at least managed to heavily bend many of the chain's rings while doing so, so not all is lost.

“Fuck… I guess I do have limits. What a sad day… but then again, overpowered characters are known to be boring anyway. No challenge or conflict with them whatsoever.” I commented in between huffs after finally giving up on my attempt to be the Superman of the day.

Well… it was certainly fun while it lasted.

“Well, I'm not sure what you were hoping to accomplish here, but busting down one of these cell doors is certainly a lot easier then breaking these thick steel chains. Believe me, I would have broken free out of my cell a long time ago if these Gryphons didn’t shackle me up like this. Say what you want about them, but they certainly learn quickly.” The big guy stated.

It was really starting to get tiring just calling him “the big guy." If I'm planning to have him under my wing and be a part of my force, then the least I should know about him is his freaking name.

So while waiting for the guard to return with the keys, I should really take this opportunity to ask his name while things are still peaceful enough to do so.

Because I know for a fact that once we leave, shit is going to figuratively hit the freaking fan once the Gryphons up above get wind of this.

And I don’t like getting covered in all of that shit, thank you very much. These are my original Earth-made clothes I'm wearing. I would go and kill a motherfucker if anything ever happened to them. They are like a relic to me. A relic of a life which I am still living, only with a lot more bling and a lot less gardening.

But anyway, back to the topic.

“Say...” I began to get the guy's attention again. “What might be your name if I may ask? I see no reason not to at least know your name before things get heated pretty fast. I doubt that these raiders are going to let us go peacefully once we show ourselves to them.” I stated.

The gruff-looking stallion hummed to himself before replying. “Well… I really see no reason to deny you that knowledge myself. My name is Hector, plain and simple. No in-between middle names or titles.” He answered, making me press my lips together at that knowledge

This was surprising, but in a good way. Which was shown by the smile which was creeping up on my lips at the reference injection I was given. So this whole shit was truly just like Troy after all. Though with far less war and a lot more horse. Way too much horse.

My thought would have continued on with this idea indefinitely if the guy with the key didn’t just suddenly show up.

Good, because we need him. I need him, for my forces, as my Hector, though personally I would have preferred an Achilles for… actually, on second thought, having either Achilles or Hector doesn’t matter. They both die in the end anyway.

“Here, free this stallion as well will ya'?” I more or less ordered while pointing a finger at the now-named Hector.

The naked guard nodded before acting on my requested of freeing this beast of a midget Zebra. Fiddling with the many locks on the fairly large chains and unlocking them one by one. I even helped in moving the chains out of the way once the last lock had been unlocked.

Hector stood up and began stretching himself to get some blood pumping back into his limbs.

“Now, as you said, we have a keep to escape from. But I suggest heading into the armory first to get ourselves some weapons and gear to give us a much better chance of getting out of here. Also, let's free the rest of the prisoners as well. No point in leaving them here after all. We might as well try and leave together if we can.” Hector suggested.

I hummed. “Well sure, certainly sounds a lot better than the idea I came up with just a few seconds ago. Let's just go with that one, shall we?” I responded.

Hector nodded. “Perfect, I actually know where the armory is. I passed by it when I was first led down into the mines under the keep. I imagine that is where they are also keeping the confiscated gear of your guards. They should have no problem recognizing them. Now let's hurry before the Gryphons get wind of this prison break.” Hector announced before moving out.

“Hey, wait for me!” The other stallion shouted as he followed him.

I did the same, along with my guard before being greeted with just how many prisoners there were. Mostly Zebras of course, with a couple of Gazelles and even a Gryphon or two mixed in.

So racism shouldn’t be an issue here as they also seem to imprison and enslave their own kind if need be. They are certainly not picky, that’s for sure. Though they certainly aren’t fond of horns it seems. With the Gazelles all having lost their horns to these Gryphons. But then again, it was also kinda logical in a way.

You certainly don’t want your slaves to hold onto their naturally-gifted weapons for any reason. They are here to mine, not to bonk heads with the local guards whenever they get the chance to do so.

Better to be safe than sorry, am I right?

“Alright, is that all of them?” Hector asked out loud as he looked at the assembly of four-leggers in front of him.

“Yes, these are all the prisoners down here.” One of my guards answered. I somehow recognize them.

Just how I recognize all of these prisoners staring at me. Because you certainly don’t see a hairless ape everyday.

One set of eyes in particular caught my attention somehow. A pair of eyes that belonged to a very young-looking mare who was standing right next to an equally young-looking stallion.

In fact, that actually reminded me.

“Hey Hector, is that possibly your niece you were talking about earlier?” I suddenly interrupted his little speech while pointing a finger at the aforementioned mare within the crowd.

Hector stopped and followed my gaze before nodding. This in turn caused the mare to blink back to reality before she finally noticed her uncle standing next to me. She immediately pushed herself through the crowd of dirty-looking prisoners and gave Hector a big old hug, which certainly took the gruff old guy by surprise.

“Uncle, dear gods above are you alright? Those Gryphons beat you up really bad I heard after they chained you up! I feared the worst at first when I heard that!” She stated. He voice choking up a bit as if she were on the verge of tears.

Well, maybe she was. But I can’t really see her face that well from my angle to be sure.

But whatever, let them have their little family reunion while I just wait for something to happen. Or just keep reviewing the assembly of prisoners in front of me and see what we have here.

Strangely enough though, the Gazelle I saw from earlier was absent from this group, making me think that she was either locked up somewhere else, or already down in the mines doing her duties.

I really want to see these mines though. Everybody keeps talking about them. I would really love to see some authentic silver veins myself before returning home with a cart full of silver.

Always thinking about more riches, even in the most inappropriate of situations.

I quickly blinked myself back to reality before I got too far. Especially when I had this urge to do something random for no real reason.

“I declare a DEUS EX MACHINA!” I openly declared. Which in turn caused everyone to aim their eyes directly at me, both in confusion and with a “what” type expression.

Because my declaration was so loud that it was almost a guaranteed possibility that someone above heard that. Which it did, as I could hear a lot of commotion suddenly happening beyond the stairs which lead back up to the surface.

In fact, it was a lot of commotion. Judging by the panic-filled screams coming from upstairs. Now this certainly made me curious, even more so for all the others as their collective ears started to twitch at the noise happening above.

“What the… are they… it kinda sounds as if… an attack is taking place up there?” One of the Zebras commented as he gazed at the ceiling above him.

Everyone else was doing the same thing, gazing up at the ceiling with a sense of dread and foreboding.

Though Hector did not, as his attention was fixed on the long set of stairs behind us which led back up to the surface.

“You all wait here while I go have a look.” Hector ordered as he marched his big rough-looking body up the stairs to be the first to reach it zenith.

“Be careful, uncle!” His niece called after him.

I on the other hand was beginning to get bored and wanted to have my own personal glimpse as to what my bold declaration had steered up.

If it is what I think it is, then I'll eat my hat. Which is fine either way as I don’t have a hat to eat in the first place.

“Wait Your Highness!” One of my guards tried to call out, but I was too distracted by my own curiosity to respect the sense of worry and duty he has for me.

Not that I ever did thanks to my mind having its own mind which guides me into directions where I would have never guided myself. Because then I would be too busy sitting on my ass and doing absolutely nothing. That, or just spend my days arguing with my neighbor while tending to the garden that my own cousins are too lazy to do themselves.

But since I don’t have either of the last two, I'm more content now in just doing example number one all day while getting myself undressed by an under-aged flamethrower.

I wonder how she is doing though? I hope that she is still in Hittar. I can’t wait to see my little fire-starter again, AFTER I get a glimpse of what my Deus Ex Machina summoned, and if it's friendly to me or not.

“AHHHHHHHH!” someone screamed as a Gryphon suddenly came bursting through the dungeon door above us and before tumbling down the stairs and right into Hector’s hooves, along with a bunch of other shit that was colorful and buzzing down the stairs right after him.

Like… a lot of it. Colorful and plentiful, in fact so plentiful that me and Hector were forced to duck as the onslaught of colorful locust-sounding things were racing down into the dungeon halls.

Or I think they are colorful locusts. They are far too numerous, loud and fast for me to really get a good look at them. Plus, my gaze was aimed at the stairs beneath them, so that could be the main reason.

“AHHH! Parasprites, take cover!” I heard someone shout behind me as the swarm continue to fly past us.

“Ahh… so those things are called 'Parasprites.' Interesting…” I thought to myself as the madness continued.

Yup, certainly way too many it seems for me to start actively patting their backs one by one. Plus I don’t know if these “Parasprites” even like to be patted on their back in the first place.

For a bug, getting patted on the back might be misconceived as someone trying to swat them away or squash them outright.

Makes sense, but one that doesn’t exactly help me regardless as I was still pinned to the steps as this flood of bugs didn’t seem to be ending anytime soon.

This was ridiculous, even by Deus Ex Machina standards.

“Does this swarm ever end?” I asked out loud, trying to make myself heard beside the loud buzzing echoing all around me.

As expected, there was no answer, though I would guess that everybody else had their own issues to deal with rather than listening to my rather pointless questions and ramblings.

Though I don’t think that my previous question was pointless to begin with. But who cares, especially when it seems that the onrush of bugs was finally starting to thin out, degrading from a massive torrent of colorful flies to a simple trickle at the end.

Even my own thoughts started to become louder when the obnoxious buzzing finally died down. I looked behind myself afterwards, only to see the swarm quickly disappearing somewhere deeper down into the dungeon or perhaps out to another exit.

I dusted myself off as I stood up, and watched as the assembly of prisoners did the same, some even peeking their heads out from behind places they had taken shelter in. Like peeking their heads out from behind open cell doors and old crates.

It looked to me that the worst had finally passed on and that the dungeon from this point on was going to stay quiet. Well, as quiet as a place can be that still seems to be swarmed up on the surface and an angry-sounding Hector breaking the neck of an unfortunate Gryphon.

Wait… did he seriously just do that? I had to turn my head to him to confirm my senses, and truth be told, he did. What a killer.

“This was the bastard that tried to take advantage of my niece before his colleagues stopped him.” He stated as he released the now-limp body onto the ground. Watching it slide down the stairs a bit before stopping at the center mark between me and him.

I pressed my lips together in sheer silence as I looked down at the now-dead Gryphon in front of me. I never was a big fan of watching someone get killed right in front of my very eyes… in fact, this was the very first time that this has happened.

Certainly is something different than watching it on TV or anywhere else. But then again, I didn’t really see it, more like heard it before seeing him dead.

I smacked my lips. “Well… anyway, let's see how well that locust swarm is ravaging the rest of the keep, shall we? If I ever find an easy way out of an otherwise complicated situation then I at least want to see it.” I stated loudly before side-stepping around the body and making my way to the now-busted door.

As expected, things were a lot worse up there than they were down below. This may be just in the hallway, but even here shit was just as chaotic as it sounded down below. Uncountable swarms of these colorful skittles with wings were flying everywhere, with Gryphons running, flying or even trying to hide from these flies. Some were even trying to actively swat at them with their swords or spears with very little success, while some were even picked up by these surprisingly-strong critters and tossed around like ragdolls on steroids.

To say that this was chaos would have been an understatement. Heck, these Para-thingies were nagging on pretty much anything that wasn't made of stone. Seemingly having an unending appetite and a stomach made of hardened titanium.

Though thankfully these flying pinballs don’t seem to be devouring those Gryphons, otherwise things would truly become concerning.

I certainly don’t want to end up as bug food today, or rather any day for that matter. If I ever have to go out, then I will go out in style. Not end up as simple bug food. But whatever, these Parasprites seemed to be totally ignoring me even after I fully stepped out from the archway and properly revealed myself to this colorful mass.

Good, because I want to see this chaos first hand, it all looks so wonderfully delightful. It's like being in one of my crazy coffee trips, only with a lot more noise and things getting eaten left and right.

But at least the composition of colors were right.

“Your Highness, what are you doing standing like that in the open? It's too dangerous! Please, come-” My loyal and always concerned guard tried to warn before he realized that I wasn’t really listening.

In fact, I was too busy skipping my way to the exit of the colorful mess. Following the light at the end of the tunnel with these flying skittles parting ways as I casually moved past them.

Chaotic, hungry and well-behaved. Now that is certainly my kind of a locust swarm. I wonder if I can make use of them when I start my conquests. Threats of using them to turn the fertile farmlands of my rivals barren would certainly make “convincing” them to join the empire even easier. Not to mention avoiding having to spill any unnecessary blood in the process.

Those funerals are just too dramatic for my taste. Plus, I'm still quite uneducated when it comes to the Zebra’s belief system and Pantheon. All I know of right now are two of their unknown numbers of gods, and that is it.

But whatever, once I get myself some much-needed sunlight and clear myself from these seizure-inducing swirls then all shall be well. Just need to avoid any of the screaming, running and thrashing Gryphons around me and I should be at the exit.

Because even this was starting to give me a headache.

“Your Highness!” I heard someone scream behind me before my vision was suddenly changed from colorful to simply yellow as I was forced to mimic the Pope at an airport against my will, followed by a huge gust of air rushing past my head and the sound of a thousand Parasprites zipping past me.

I guess that these flying M&M’s aren’t that tame after all if they require the intervention of one of my guards risking their own skin in order to knock me onto the ground to protect me from their onrushing swarm.

I guess my plans of weaponizing these critters has to be put on hold for now. Especially since I'm too busy giving this sand-covered floor a good fat French kiss. That guard is both going to get rewarded and scolded at the same time when I remember to do so.

I shall call it, a reward scolding, where I give him a pat on his back before kicking his ass. Toothpaste is strangely enough also a rarity here, so imagine how displeasing it is to my sense of cleanliness when I was forced to kiss a well-trudged floor with my whole face.

Well, at least my cursed mumbling was being drowned out by the wave of ear-rupturing buzzing as I wanted to save my curse words later when it was time to lecture this hero on top of me about the unethical situation that is being on top of me.

I am not a happy camper anymore. But at least this constant need to overthink things has given me the distraction I needed for this wave to finally pass by and for me to get the chance to get up on my feet again. But not without pushing the midget horse off my back and spitting out the sand in between my lips and teeth.

I am not even going to bother quoting Anakin on that one. Fucking sand.

“Seriously, can you not save me with a little bit more grace? Having sand in your mouth is the worst, only topped by having bubblegum sticking to your shoes. Believe me when I say that this has happened way too much before. Which is why I started to simply wear Flip Flops from that point on, as they are way cheaper to replace.” I casually stated while dusting myself off, spitting out the rest of the sand in my mouth.

The “Hausmeister” of this place seriously must be slacking off if the floors are this sandy.

Though none of that really mattered anymore once I had the decency to lift my gaze once more and see what the outside world had to offer.

It was certainly a lot trippier than it was inside that hallway I was in. Heck, I didn’t even know that so many skittles on wings could even exist in one place. This keep is certainly going through a huge plague of Biblical proportions.

I wonder if this world even has its own version of Moses that these Gryphons somehow must have pissed off. Because this looks both insane and colorful at the same time, and I kinda love it.

Again, going back to my experience I had just a moment ago. Swirling colors give me both a one ticket trip and a huge headache if I stare at them for too long.

Which is exactly what I'm doing right now. But then again, it's also so hard to look away from all the chaos and colors around me.

Ooh, I had no idea that chaos could be this colorful… and loud. I wonder who did this, along with the damn annoying buzzing sounds that are really starting to get on my nerves as well. The one thing that is ruining this rather intriguing sight, as it simply reminds me of those damn flies and mosquitoes back home.

Always flying in front of my face or past my ears. Another aspect of my earlier life which has driven me mad even further. Now, I just want it to stop, or at least hear something else for a change to get my mind off of it.

*Chime

And that little sound pretty much did it, as I turned my head to that rather loud chime, only to suddenly come face-to-face with a certain Pokémon that I had almost forgotten about.

“Oh, Uxie, did you do this?” I questioned while gesturing at the chaos happening all around me.

Uxie on his part just smiled before giving me a hug and nuzzling my right cheek with his.

This was certainly surprising, but in a sweet way. A lot sweeter in fact than I thought this little guy was capable off. Being the so-called 'Pokémon of Knowledge' would normally turn up images of either a nerd talking about his D&D night, or a genius with very little emotions at all because he thinks that he is 'too smart' to have emotions.

But this, this was certainly a lot better than I originally expected from a flying egghead like him. I don’t even know how to play D&D as I found that stuff too much of a hassle thanks to all the costumes you need to buy.

That is at least what I understood from both the Simpsons and South Park depictions of it. I prefer to stick to simple video games; they are a lot easier to understand.

Though, thinking about video games, it was only then that I realized that somebody else was hovering right next to Uxie. It was in fact one of those flying skittles things. Completely yellow in body with lime green eyes and sky blue wings. Not to mention being right here, staring at me curiously and NOT joining his millions of comrades in their mad, chaotic spree.

The fact that it even flew closer to me and curiously inspected me from all sides was intriguing enough. This little yellow fly thing seems to be a lot wiser than the rest of his multicolored team. Or at the very least, at lot more in control of himself than them.

“Say, is that little thing a new friend of yours, Uxie?” I asked, completely forgetting about everything else that was still happening around me and the guard who was staring up at the yellow bubblegum ball over here with a sense of intrigue and confusion.

Not really taking the chaos that is still happening around us too seriously anymore, just like me.

Not even taking note of the fact that one of the keep's few remaining watch towers suddenly collapsed under the combined weight of these flying rainbows.

Trip-inducing and destructive. Who needs drugs and catapults when you have a swarm of hungry, happy-go-lucky M&M's doing all the crushing and tossing for you?

Damn, now I wish that I actually had a large pack of M&M’s with me to enjoy the rest of the ongoing chaos around me with. But generally, I could use something to eat regardless, as these skittles were making me quite hungry with their furious spree of eating everything that wasn't made of stone or flesh.

Talk about a locust plague being out of control. These flying bubblegum balls make the massive locust swarms back in my world look tame.

I still wonder if I could somehow weaponize them with Uxie’s new friend acting as a bridge to that.

Human ingenuity folks. If you can’t eat it, or fuck it, maybe you can weaponize it in some way.

Human nature is truly fascinating, isn’t it?

Author's Notes:

I again just want to note that I have started a pure Pokemon fic on "Archive of our own"

Link can be find here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18528397/chapters/43914391

Its a mystery dungeon-esc type fic.