“YES, THAT’S THE IDOL! THE DESCRIPTION, IT MATCHES THE LIKENESS OF THE IDOL PERFECTLY!… or at least what I know from our tribe elders.” Mystic Gem shouted after she and her sister heard Palmyria’s description of this… thing.

I, on the other hand, was too busy giving myself an imaginary high five for being right with my assumptions… uh, I mean, being the first to discover this very “obvious” clue, of course. Call me Sherlock Holmes 2.0, because I am smart and everybody is dumb.

Not being self-centered at all.

Either way, Little Steppes stepped up (hehehe) after that. “Well, that is all great and all, but how in the ancestor’s name are we going to get our hooves on the idol when it’s basically deep underground and far from reach?” She questioned, looking at everyone for answers.

Mystic frowned. “Simple…” She began with blind confidence. “We will march right in there and zap that disrespectful bitch in the face, take the Idol and bail like the wind. And, most importantly, finally receive the honor and respect that I deserve.” She boldly declared with an even bolder smirk plastered on her face.

The princess, on the other hand, shook her head. “If that is your grand plan for getting your ancestors’ idol back in your possession then I am afraid to say that this is going to fail long before the two of you could even reach the front gates of the Hive. For one, it’s heavily guarded and fortified, and magically sealed as well if you want to go overkill. And even if you somehow get yourself into the main hive itself, you will still be dealing with a huge band or changeling guards roaming the tunnels, not to mention having to face the feared Obsidian guard as well. So yeah, not liking your chances here at all.” Palmy explained, trying to bring some more sense into the matter.

But she didn’t stop “Oh, and of course there will be my mother as well, and given her…” Palmy shook her head sadly.”…rather critical state and her forced use of the hive mind towards her loyal guards and servants, you will just get yourself chopped to pieces the moment she spots you. So again, a much more tactical and cooperative approach should be more favorable here if you two wish to have your long-lost god back.” Palmy added, which in turn just made the young doe groan in annoyance.

I nodded to that. “My thoughts exactly dear Palmy, using just brawns alone won’t get us anywhere in this fight. In fact…” I raised a finger.” We should just add even more brawn into the mix! Simply overwhelm them with superior muscle and tears. Lots and lots of tears, because this is going to hurt like a bitch if we go with the brawns part.” I declared crazily with a grin before lowering my finger.

“Or we could just use brains instead. Would obviously mean a lot more work, thinking, and planning, but at least it also means that I won’t have to dedicate myself to a lot of post-traumatic cleanup. The trauma of everyone else, I mean.” I also added.

Basically, I haven’t added nil to this conversation. Brilliant, random nonsense is good nonsense. Otherwise it wouldn’t be considered nonsense anymore if it technically made sense.

The secrets of life and its ludicrousness. Why fight it when you can embrace it? Or just go along with it and see what happens, which pretty much sums up my whole life in one sentence.
Either way, back to reality.

“Well, either way.” Bakuss eventually stated before looking up at me.” I would assume that your highness might have something “cooking” up in his head, like how you love to state it. What would be your plan of action?” Bakuss asked.
I stroked my chin and puckered my lips, humming loudly to myself for added effect. “Well, we have the princess with us which means that we…” I was about to say when a bright flash suddenly blinded me.

I didn’t even have enough time to cover my eyes. Instead I just blinked, trying to clear the ghost from my precious apples. Once the mirage in my vision was cleared, I could see a healthy group of changelings standing right there in between the shocked and surprised group, which have long backed off out of pure instinct. Two of which were even dressed with hair on their noggins.

How fancy of them.

“There, I think I managed to accurately pinpoint to the princess’ loca…” One of the newcomers tried to say before he got tackled. Not just him, but the entire anchorage of the newly materialized changelings by my ever-so-vigilant guards.
Which is good, because again, that’s what I am paying them for in the first place.
In fact…

I turned my gaze to a surprised looking Liu next to me. “Hey Liu.” I poked her butt with my feet to get her attention while the chaos was playing on below. “Am I actually paying the guards for their guarding services, or is this just some civil community thing where volunteers go to? Never really got an explanation for the conscription methods that you guys use since I got here.” I openly and casually asked.

It was met with deaf ears at first before Liu shook her head, looking over her shoulder towards me. her momentary lapse very much clear on her features. Well… features that I can see. Damn helmets.
“Well uhm…” Liu began before a loud bark from one of my guards stopped her.

“State your business for literally appearing in the middle of the Palace, or I won’t hesitate to pierce your chest for trespassing into the Palace alone. Now speak!” One of the guards barked, pointing the tip end of his spear dangerously close at one of the ‘lings beneath him. One of the fancy clothed ones, specifically.

The ‘ling underneath him struggled a bit before looking up at the glaring eyes of a palace guard, noting the seriousness of his tone and the spear pointed at his throat.

He didn’t waste time in answering, especially when a large wave of new guards suddenly came rushing in from the main entrance of the throne room, all heavily armed and armored.

I clapped my hands together in anticipation. “Oh, this is going to be good!” I exclaimed happily before pulling out a bag of Cheetos out of… actually, I don’t know, and frankly? I don’t care either. Knowing that I have Cheetos is good enough for me.

I held the newly materialized bag at the now even more confused Liu in front of me.
“Want some?” I casually asked after stuffing a handful of chips into my maw.

She just looked at the bag in confusion. I just shrugged before offering the bag over to Penelope… who was still peacefully sleeping on her own cushion.

Whelp, more for me then.

The head-ling groaned. “We… we were just teleporting directly where the princess is with the help of the special gemstone she has on her necklace, which also acts as a beacon. I swear that we had no idea that she was actually serious about heading to the surface world all alone.” The ‘ling answered, sounding somewhat old, noble, and boring old.

It was then when Pamly seemed to remember that she had a brain as she stepped up towards one of the guards.

“Hold it, please don’t kill them. They are good changelings, I swear. One of them is even one of my personal friends and uncle figure since I was a nymph.” Palmy announced, her slight panic quite clear in her tone.

Whelp, better step in myself before things do turn ugly. No point in trying to get to the princess’ good side when her fake uncle got stabbed in the heart right in front of her already-abused eyes. No need to add another trauma into her child-like psyche after all.

I clapped my hands as I usually do to get everyone’s attention. “People, people, chill.” I announced, while scattering a whole bag full of Cheetos everywhere because I have forgotten to let go of the open bag before clapping, some of them even hitting poor Liu in the face while others landed on Penelope’s form. Only to, yet again, do nothing to the steadily sleeping drake.

Again, zero fucks given on her part.

Either way, I pointed a finger at the guards after having so wastefully emptied my bag of chips. “You there, release the ‘lings and step off. If the Princess says that they are indeed friendly, then they obviously are. I mean, look at her.“ I pointed at her. ”Is that face going to lie to you with those razor sharp fangs, those deep pupil-less eyes and that jet black…” I stopped, realizing what some may think when seeing them for the first time. Just look at Bakuss, for example.

“Never mind, just stop dominating them with your shafts and all should be good.” I ordered.

It obviously worked. The guards almost immediately stepped off from the scattered and disoriented changelings and allowed them the requested breathing room that I desired. No need to choke a hooker when you… never mind.

They immediately collected themselves after nearly getting shafted up the butt, while the ones almost doing the shafting where keeping a very keen eye on them in case some aftermarket shafting was still required. Unprotected and with no return guarantee, of course.
The princess flashed me a grateful smile in return for my intervention, which I returned of course… only with a casual shrug.

It was then when Mystic suddenly decided to make good of her gem-encrusted skull and rune-covered antlers and basically zapped one of the ‘lings back off its hooves and slamming it right into another one behind it. Basically, doing a double kill, if she actually did that.

Hopefully that was not her intention, especially with the glares that both Bakuss and even her sister were giving her. Even Liu managed to remove herself from the confusion and the Cheeto leftover to throw her own mental daggers at her.

Mystic, on the other hand, just… looked normal, as she always does. You know, mostly just having a frown on her face and looking like as if she was annoyed with practically everything as if she had a stick shoved up her ass all the freaking time?

That question has still been left unanswered sadly, and I doubt now is the time to ask it anyway.

That, my friends, would just be unethical.

“What the… MYSTIC!” Little Steppes shouted angrily at her sister, to my mild surprise. Not sounding so distinctively “little” anymore, as I have known her so far.
But then again, it's always the quiet ones that have the biggest balls, after all.

“What in the ancestors’ names are you DOING? WHAT the HELL is going on with you all of the sudden?” She demanded, even going so far as to jam her hoof into her sister’s fluffy chest.

The other half just huffed and groaned. “They startled me, that’s all. Just an instinctual reaction.” She replied, looking away from her sister.

To bad that it wasn’t just me who smelled bullshit with her answer. It was quite obvious to see in Steppes’ expression.

“What, startle? That flash happened like… half a minute ago. How could have been startled just now?” She brought up, again jabbing a hoof at her sister.

Mystic, in response, just puffed out her cheeks before looking off to the side. Adorable, but childish nonetheless.

How immature of her, and not really of concern.

What is of my concern, however, is all those scattered Cheetos slouching around on the floor. Not really sure where I got them in the first place, but now it doesn’t matter anymore as they are gone. Certainly not going to attempt in eating any of them anymore, given the fact that everybody here walks around on four feet… hooves… whatever.

A hygiene fanatic’s true nightmare.

Anyway, back on track. Not sure what I missed, but it seems that Liu had gone down and joined the argument.

“… and this is why you I felt that you should never be allowed to be without someone who is shadowing you with some nethicite. If the king hasn’t sent that one guard…” Liu was about to continue before I stopped her.

“What about me?” I casually called out while tapping against the armrest.
She froze before looking over he shoulder. “Well uhm… about the relief you gave to one of the guards, who was also carrying the nethicite with him. He was supposed to keep close to her to prevent issues like THIS…” She pointed at the doe ”… from happening.” She explained before looking back at the doe in question.

She, in turn, just glared back. She seemed to be on the brink of zapping Liu’s ass as well when both Steppes and Bakuss quickly stepped in, acting as the adult of this conversation.

“Liuanda, Mystic Gem. Stop it, you two. You seem to forget that we have foreign guests within our midst, one of which is a princess from another faction. If you two want to strangle yourself to death then do it outside. I will even give you two some weapons to duke it out if that’s want you want.” Bakuss challenged.

This thankfully (for him) did the trick. or at least forcing one of them to calm down. Mystic. on the other hand. just glared a couple of seconds more before she too was convinced by her sister.

Besides that, the changelings on the other end were doing pretty well. The two stragglers that got zapped seemed to be ok, but a little shaken. While the exchange of these four was going on, the collection of changelings was just awkwardly standing there in a group, not really sure what to say or do at the moment… except the two fancy changelings who were eyeing their new surroundings, especially for the ‘ling with the long brown robes who was staring up at me rather than his comrades.
In fact…

“Akadar, is that you with a new paint job, a facial surgery, and… everything else?” I asked out loud.
This pretty much got everyone’s attention in an instant, especially the arguing two pairs on my right who were making the local Palace guards look like professionals. Well, they actually are, but Bakuss? I was seriously expecting more from Leonidas 2.0 than just mindless bickering.

He had made such a great figure back on the big bridge.

Either way, with the new attention target set, the entire room basically focused their gazes on the cloaked brown figure with all sorts of expressions; expectation, curiosity, shock, surprise, but mostly skepticism and disbelief.

The one responsible for all of this emotional chaos was not doing any better either, looking quite intimidated and uncomfortable with all the attention he was given.

See, this is why I always hated to be part of these silly old school performances I had to go through every Carnival season during my elementary days. Usually I am the one who likes to judge people for the flaws and mistakes they do, not the other way around. But alas, that issue quickly passed by me when I eventually learned to not give a fuck anymore.

I was not a troubled, child in case some of you invisible people would like to know. But then again, we all have issues.

“Well, yes.” I heard the black-clad Akadar say with a sigh, which in turn brought me out of my imagination zone. “Yes, it is me. I am Akadar.” He announced before his form got engulfed in a purplish flame which summoned up his real form, or rather, the form that we are all accustomed too.

He removed his hood afterwards, fully revealing his true visage to everyone, which resulted in a few gasps of surprise. Not me of course, as I saw this shit coming from miles away.

Such plot twists have become quite mandatory in the realm of fanfictions. Silly fans and their waifus .

Liu flinched back as she comment. “But… high priest Akadar, a changeling? And all this time?” She questioned, which most likely was silently shared by everyone… minus the changelings of course, and the Gazelles.

Even the collection of guards head mixed expressions hiding beneath their masks. I have good eyes, remember?

Akadar nodded before performing his plastic surgery in front of everyone, reverting back to his racist form. Liu and Bakuss were still shock, processing this new revelation with their old Pentium processor from 1999. Well, that is, until Bakuss stared at the alleged Akadar with a challenging look that he quickly noticed.

“In case you don’t believe me, only those faithful to Zakarh should be able to speak his ancient text whenever conversing with them in prayer. Something that it only known and taught to the members of the order.” Akadar proclaimed before he silently cleared his throat.

“Normally such words should only be spoken within the confines of a shrine. But am sure that Zakarh will see past this, given my current situation.” He exhaled. “Barah, magarmah dasuu re’dessar muunomudarr zuk’mek masgah tessahr kiit. Hamundarr’ himuu ka tessahr kiit’ma duu.” He chanted, causing me to raise a confused eyebrow, but for Bakuss to audibly hum to himself.

Even Liu was somewhat silent afterwards, seeming somewhat relaxed for just a moment before her eyes went wide once more, probably in some realization.

Me, on the other hand? I was completely in the dark with all of this religious chit-chat. Again, I should really start making an effort to try and learn more this unique alphabet and ancient language that these Zebras possess. Instead, I just get distracted with shit like this or simply forget about it later, or I just end up being too lazy to even bother to drag myself to a library.

I mean, asking around is certainly better than going back to bloody school. But still, the fact that I have to eventually try and learn a brand new alphabet is really giving me this whole “back to school” vibe that I always got whenever summer break ended.

I hated it, especially the teachers that were forced to sit in the room with me. At least where was ONE thing that we could agree on.

Anyway, Bakuss eventually hummed to himself after Akadar has done his pagan chant.

“Still don’t know what these words mean, but I can confirm that I have heard then before when I used to visit the Temples. The repeating words and… dialect are quite hard to miss when you heard it a couple of times” Bakuss commented, which seemed to solidify his beliefs that this was in fact the Akadar that we all know and love.

Well, for them at least. I personally don’t know shit about him and also, I am not gay. I haven’t even visited any of those towering ziggurats yet to the south of the city. So overall, all of this content is pretty much void for me.

Akadar just nodded, seeming somewhat relieved afterwards that he was able to prove himself. Though, despite this, a lot of them were still somewhat confused and dumbfounded that a one of their most respected high priests was actually a changeling this entire time, not to mention raising a few questions as well, like when, where, and how, and frankly somewhat unimportant for the moment as I personally had completely different fish to fry besides knowing more about Akadar’s true Assassin’s Creed origin.

One adorable furry quadruped related problem at a time. Fuck… I really have came into a version of bloody Elena of Avalon, haven’t I? Only less cheesy and far less feminine… somewhat.

But before more shit could be spouted that more was or less irrelevant to the current problem that we were facing, I capped my hands to once again aim the attention of the room to me as I got up, picking up the sleeping form of Penelope in the process.

“Anyway, that is all nice and good, but there is obviously a reason as to why these fine new gentlemen over here have just zapped themselves right into this ridiculous waste of space known as the throne room.” I gestured all around me with my free hand before casually making my way down.

I continued on the way down. “Let me guess, it’s somehow linked with this whole crazy bitch queen debacle that your pretty little princess over here as already laid out, Isn’t it?” I announced before standing in front of the crowd.

The new fancy one nodded. His hair and overall look made him seem like someone of status.

“Well yes… uhm... your, highness I presume?” He asked curiously, looking up at my tall form.
I grinned while looking off to the side. “Indeed I am. Alexander Becker the first. King and patron of this fine nation of black and white. The Monkey King, or so that’s what these dedicated and loyal Zebras like to call me.” I responded, standing tall while resting my free arm against my waist.

The newcomer nodded before respectively bowing in front of me, which was repeated by some of his colleagues, probably out of habit.

“Ah, yes, the Monkey King. A titled that I have read about somewhere before in the vast royal archives back in the Hive.” The newcomer responded after he raised himself back up to stop showing his balls to the unfortunate ‘lings behind him.
Not even sure if ‘lings even possess testicles or not. Farries has a dong, but never saw anything past that because I was too busy getting myself rid of it.

Either way, time to get this wrapped up fast before someone gets bored. Like me, and the two siblings off to the side.
Plus, I also needed to piss too.

“Anyway, how about we take this conversation somewhere else for a change and not just sit here all day and bore the potential readers with nothing but talk? How does a stroll through the lavish gardens sound? I haven’t explored much of it since I got here because of couch potato syndrome. But anyway how does that sound?” I just mindlessly rumbled, causing a few curious or confused eyebrows from the racist’s race.

I just patiently waited for one to start asking questions, and to NOT my surprise, they don’t disappoint.

“Wait… what do you mean by ‘potential readers’?” Mister fancy pants asked, which was a question that I could have seen from miles away, which I did, and then some because I am a cliché of my own ideas.

I just shrugged. “Nothing, sometimes I have my head peeking out above clouds that shouldn’t even be peeked at in the first place. And no, I am not talking about porn, in case you are wondering.” I answered, which caused even more confusion.

Mister fancy pants looked over to my most trustworthy guards for advice, which he got in the form of a shrug.

“It’s the king’s unique personality and way of doing things. You will stop asking question after a while… well, mostly.” I heard Bakuss say with a sigh.

“Or maybe he is completely mad.” Najero butted in, which just got him a lot of death stares from the guards for saying that.
Well, I am the king, after all. And, in most cases, insulting and openly disrespecting a king usually meant a slap in the face at best, or the guillotine at worst. But personally, I don’t care about this shit because I am well aware of what I am and what I am not.

I am certainly not ugly. So there is one.

Anyway, back on track.

I poked the head ‘ling that wasn’t the princess with my finger to get his attention. I then pointed towards the exit after he looked back at me. He quickly understood my gesture thankfully, so no needy beady second explanation for me.

“Well… uhm, yes. I think that would suffice. Plus I would get the wonderful opportunity to see more of this architectural marvel.” He replied, moving his eyes around the entire throne hall afterwards.

Again, not sure how I noticed that with the lack of pupils but hey, not complaining here.

I grinned. “Brilliant. But before we do so, I first need to party before we discuss further dignitary stuff and all that jazz. Which is also a more fancy way for “powdering my nose” if you are rather familiar with that phrase instead.” I announced before striding past the group and towards the exit like how I always do.

Long, overreaching steps with my usual mad shit-eating grin plastered on my face and a baby dragon NOT nibbling on my shirt and ruining it.

I shall spare the international talk crap and skip right to the meat and bone of this ark.
Ark, so much survival and evolution, because I will force this nation to survive and evolve into something better to command and conquer.

The term overpowered doesn’t exist in my language.

I would love to just straight-up introduce this Zebras to Star Destroyer and TIE Fighters, but even the SD card on my tablet has its limits. Plus, I left all of my other ones back home. Bloody bogus.

Author's Notes:

Another chapter for you. Sorry if it seems too chatty. Which is a bad excuse because as a writer, I should know better. Making chapters more interesting and such.

Anyway as promised this is Farries:

And Princess Palmyria: