A Zebrica for a Human

/Chapter 1: Need more than just Coffee/

Edited by: Chrome Masquerade

Proofread by: Sergeant Lufthfahrer, Darkwip

“No, no, no. This isn’t it either. 234 scrolls and none of them is the one we are looking for.” A Zebra High Priestess sighed as she discarded the useless scroll on a pile next to her, like all the others.

“Well, we still have around 103,000 scrolls to go through. I am sure one of them has to be the exact text that we are seeking. It shouldn’t take that long.” Another High Priestess commented to the rest of the group.

“You could have easily left that fact out, you know. You are not making this sound any easier.” Another butted in, -this one an old stallion and a High shaman- as he was busy scanning one shelf for anything that stood out. “You there. Servant. Go fetch some more scrolls from the vaults down below. Maybe the texts that we are looking for are locked down there.” He ordered to one of the Zebra servants standing by at the entrance.

“Yes, High Shaman.” The mare, obediently responded with a bow before quickly dashing off to do High Shaman’s Akunezzar’s bidding.

“Are you sure sending ONE servant down there would be enough? The sailed vaults store more ancient texts of our ancestors than the palace archives up here.” The first High Shaman questioned, her colorful robes and jewelry on her ears and neck swinging about as she turned herself around to look at her counterpart.

Akunezzar shook his head as he went back on searching the shelves. “No, no it doesn’t, High Priestess Karkusha, but it at least gives them something useful to do instead of just standing around here.” The old Zebra answered.

“Hey… I think I found something!” The much younger High Priestess shouted with glee.

“Susara, not so loud, show some restraint. You are a high priestess now, after all.” The older mare -known as Karkusha- chided, which made the much younger mare blush a bit from embarrassment after she shushed herself.

“Anyway, you said that you have found something, yes?” Akunezzar asked as he and Karkusha looked at the younger mare questionably.

The mare in question, simply nodded before making her way slowly over to them with an old dusty scroll in her mouth, her own traditional white robes and jewelry swinging about as she moved across the large room.

“The text we have been looking for is most likely this one. I haven’t read all of it yet because this scroll is quite long, but the first-view syllables are quite promising so far.” She explained, after placing the scroll onto her hoof and offering it to the two elders.

Akunezzar took it with his own hoof before trotting over to a nearby table and slowly unraveling the scroll before him. Both Karkusha and Susara quickly joined him as he began reading through the ancient text. Raising his eyebrow slowly as he went further and further down the scroll, before eventually going wide in full realization.

“Yes this is it, these are the ancient prophecies we have been searching for all this time.” Akunezzar commented out loud, completely forgetting modestly and etiquettes for a brief moment.

The high priestess, simply nodded as her own eyes were busy scanning through the ancient writing.

“These texts should hopefully prepare us for the ever closing days of this prophecy, the arrival of the so called Monkey King who will finally bring unity to our own kind and help us to achieve more than we believe we are capable of.” Karkusha commented as she finally reached the end of the scroll herself.

Akunezzar, again, simply nodded as he sealed up the scroll once more before facing her. “Indeed, we must make preparations, then, as the arrival of the Monkey King is coming closer with every passing minute. The time is soon, my dear Karkusha, the divide that has been forced onto our kind will soon have its end and we will soon reclaim our old glory from days long past, thanks to the wisdom of the ever closer, coming of the Monkey King.” The old stallion suggested, which was answered by a nod from both the mares in question.

“I shall discuss this with all the other High priests, then. We have to keep this information a secret from the populace though. we will inform them if the time is right.” Karkusha suggested.

The three quickly parted, leaving the archives behind to do what they needed to do for the coming of their new Emperor. An Emperor they hadn’t had for over 1000 years thanks to a divide their race suffered through, during that time.

………………………………………………………………………………………

*Beep beep beep beep*

“Wha? What… what is this? I don’t have an alarm clock.” I murmured as I slowly regained consciousness from the peaceful sleep I once had.

“Oh. No, wait… that’s the alarm clock of my neighbor next door. Holy shit that thing is ridiculously loud. That bastard even wakes me up with it. Brilliant, Just fucking brilliant.” I groaned as I tried to drown the accursed noise by burying my head into my pillow.

Or I would have, if it wasn’t for the bloody morning sun immediately shining directly onto my neck. Probably because of some stupid cloud continuing its journey above my window.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! Fine, I’m up. I. Am. UP.” I groaned out before eventually forcing myself to get up.

I really don’t like mornings, especially when I remember having a pretty interesting dream before my own neighbor woke me up with his bomb siren.

“Well, another day, another nickel. That’s what I would say if I could actually get one. Why is Spongebob stuck in my mind all of a sudden?” I thought to myself as I sat up on the edge of my bed and scratched my back.

“Today is going to be another formulated and predictable day again. Just the way I like it, to be honest.”

With those thoughts out of my head, I began to make my way over to the bathroom to do what any other person does when just out of bed.

Getting off my pajama pants and putting on some more "proper" leg wear after my morning rituals were taken care of, I casually made my way out of the room and into the corridors to drag myself into the kitchen.

Having the house to yourself for once is actually quite refreshing, considering that I live with some of my cousins under the same roof. They are all off on a trip, a trip that didn’t interest me simply because it would involve sitting inside the car for hours and hours on end just to get there.

I have been to many trips like these before, but over time they just eventually became somewhat stale for me, mostly because of those long LONG drives that are usually associated with them. I just got fed up with the tedious driving hours, so this time I simply decided to stay here instead. To look after the house while they are gone. Well, that was what I told them.

Maybe I will join these family trips again when those planned expressways have finally been built and completed, going throughout home province, but until then I would rather prefer to just stay here instead of having my butt muscles die out.

Living in Southeast Asia does have its drawbacks, after all. Damn, who knew that someone could miss the well planned road and expressway systems back in Europe? Not only that, but if you don’t feel like driving you could just easily take the high speed trains if you want to.

“Ah, well. Living in the tropics is nice too.” I thought out loud, as I began to make myself some coffee.

“Shit… the hot water is out. Got to boil myself some more, then. God, I know that it’s nothing but it’s still annoying somehow.” I muttered.

Grabbing the kettle and filling it with water from the faucet and placing it on the stove before turning it on, I quickly went back to my room to go grab my phone and Tablet to check what is new in Internet Land while playing some tunes on my phone.

I went back into the kitchen with them and sat myself down at the dining table to wait for the water to boil. I basically did this almost every day. Wake up, make myself some coffee, check my emails and see if anything interesting is there to see on sites like YouTube and Deviantart on my tablet. I would usually use my laptop for those, but ever since it died permanently, I am forced to use my tablet until I can get enough cash to buy a new one.

I immediately remembered something while looking at the YouTube front page. “Oh yeah, I wanted to watch that documentary about the Achaemenid empire I stumbled upon yesterday night, but didn’t watch it because I was too tired to… and it was too long. Well I can definitely do so now, early in the morning. I got nothing better to do anyway.” I thought to myself as I began to type up the title on the search bar, but before I could properly click onto the video the kettle suddenly started to whistle.

Grumbling a bit to myself, I got back up from my seat and went back to the kitchen to turn the stove off and remove the kettle from it. I poured the heated water into my waiting mug before dumping the rest of it into the thermos flask for later use.

With my Coffee now done, I went back to the dining table with the mug in my grasp. I was about to sit back down when another thought suddenly hit me. Being the cat lover that I am I was wondering If all three of my cats were at the extended kitchen outside, like they usually are. Sometimes they were there and sometimes they were down below in the backyard doing... whatever. Cat things.

I just have this habit of always going to check every morning to see if they were still sleeping or generally chilling out in the back kitchen. With that desire in my head, I simply picked my phone up while making sure that the headphone cable wasn’t in the way of anything, grabbing my tablet in my free hand before making my way toward the back door.

Pressing the play bottom with my thumb to get the video started, I pushed open the door with my right arm to get myself outside and to the backyard of my home… or that is what I would have liked to do, if the sun outside didn’t suddenly get excruciatingly bright all of a sudden, turning everything around me into a blur and forcing me to close my eyes on instinct.

“What… the… fuck?” I muttered as the normally warm-feeling morning air suddenly turned even warmer -or, dare I say, hotter- in an instant the moment I stepped out of the back door.

I opened my eyes again after the bright glare quickly faded. What I saw around me left me totally speechless and beyond confused.

“Since when do we have a giant sandbox behind the house?” I asked out loud while my eyes started to dart from left to right in.

All I saw in front of me was a huge pile of sand. A pile of sand I could have sworn wasn’t there before. Sure the backyard of our home kind of sucked, but not as bad to warrant a huge pile of sand over it.

Also why would you wanne piled you shity backyard with sand anyway? Probably can't even make a proper sandcastle with the stuff I got here anyway.

Out of strange curiosity, I decided to turn myself around to see if anything else was completely out of place... only to find EVEN MORE sand behind me. In fact, I was surrounded by sand, sand, sand, and... even more sand! And some rocks, just to spice it up.

The house, the trees, and everything else I knew and pretty much see everyday whenever I bother myself to step out of my home in the first place, has now and totally be replace by the world's largest sandbox that i'll probably never use and never will mainly because society likes dictates that I am far too old to partake in such activities.

Screw you Society.

There was only one thought running through my mind as the sun was busy trying to burn a hole through my exposed neck.

“What the actual fuck?!”

Seriously, what the actually fuck, and If this whole sudden change of location wasn’t strange and fucked up enough, I started to hear moaning close by too. Like serious moaning, the type of moaning you would expect when someone is having a good time. That kind of moaning.

“What the fuck is this?” I asked out loud to no one in particular as I traced the source of the sounds to be somewhere behind that massive pile of sand that I was standing in front of.

My brows rising ever so slightly at it.

Momentarily forgetting about my confusing situation and finding myself strangely curious as to who and what was making these out of place noises, I began to slowly climb up the sandy hill with my mug and Tablet still firmly in my grasp.

And let me tell you, climbing this son of a hot sandy bitch with just Flip-Flops on is just as hard and unpleasant as you can likely imagine. Especially when the sand is as loose and floaty as it is now.

“What sane person would even expect to be climbing a sand dune the moment they stepped out into their own backyard while still being dressed for bed? Seriously.” I hissed as the hot sand slid onto and under my feet because of these damn Flip-Flops.

Giving myself a final push with my right leg I finally made it to the top of the dune and was greeted with the same sight as the one I saw before, more bloody sand to see for Miles or Kilometers, or whatever distance measurement I feel like using. But this time with the added bonus of seeing a small Oasis down below me, a few palm trees, ferns and…two lone Zebra fucking in a cowgirl position.

“…Was?” I did a double take.

Seriously, down below, on a flat rock, right next to the Oasis and RIGHT UNDER the shade of said Palm tree were two Zebra, doing it, in a cowgirl position, just like how two humans would do.

You just can’t make this shit up.

You would think that THIS ALONE would raise some serious mental questions about the concept of reality and the fabric of the universe as a whole, but that wasn’t the only strange thing about it. What was also strange was the way these two Zebra looked. They looked smaller than normal Zebra, had larger looking hooves and legs in comparison to their bodies, had freaking rings and other accessories on their ears, tail and mane, - and talking about manes, their heads were much more roundish in shape than they have all right to be, compared to normal Zebra I know of, with much smaller muzzles too. Almost human like in features, now that I think about it.

In fact… they did have human like features on them if their expressions and behaviors were any indications. Animals can NOT mimic an expressions of pure bliss, let alone moan and squirm while doing so. ALSO, animals don’t blush either. How does that even work with fur?

If I wasn’t already confused beyond healthy mental limits, then I definitely have crossed the “point of no return” by then. Wouldn’t be surprising if I would get a brain aneurysm at any moment, or AT THIS point. Probably wouldn’t be that bad of an alternative, to be honest.

The one on top, -most likely female if her moans were anything to go by- suddenly decided to open her green colored eyes at the worst moment possible and immediately spotted me, which in turn caused them to snap open faster than you could close them. Her blush instantly deepening, most likely from both shock and… embarrassment?

The other Zebra (most likely male) below her looked up at the other one in confusion if I had to guess before he turned his head backwards to look at whatever she was looking and immediately had the same reaction as her the moment he saw me.

I, on the other hand, just raised an eyebrow at this before I randomly remembered the coffee that I was still holding onto. Looking down at the mug with indifference, I decided to simply do the next best thing I know at the moment by raising the still steaming cup of Joe up to my lips and taking a long sip from it with wide eyes, the real scope of my situation finally hitting me like a speeding truck strapped to a rocket.

“Well shit. I am definitely going to need more than JUST coffee to get through THIS.”