So much to endure and live through, and yet the mind can quickly sift through it all if the mind is not too horribly fractured. I pass the last few shops before nearing the edge of Canterlot, the courier still winging their way toward that village far in the distance. Once I get out into open country I can really get in my stride. Too many foals running around in this area of the city for my comfort...though if I were truthful to myself, it is because they remind me of my childhood. A scent of a local bakery wafts by with traces of chocolate. My mouth waters at the thought, yet I push on. A more recent memory drifts into my head as I reach the edge of the city.

While I had started my new training in the medical field under the tutelage of the very best physicians, I was still required to dine with the princesses...and still miss out on the very best of the cakes that were served. In retrospect, I shouldn’t have done it. She had done much in the way to help me, but I was very rebellious and sullen in those first several weeks. One particular evening I spent all night boiling a very special seed pod, one of several I had saved for myself when I originally collected them. You know, ‘just in case.’ This was a ‘just in case’ kind of evening.

The kitchens were always about making sure everything was just right. They worked in shifts, from what I found during my evening wanderings in the castle. The head chef always made sure he stayed up just long enough to find out if Celestia had enjoyed her breakfast, the most important meal of her day he had once told me. Toward the end of this special night I had taken the pod down to the kitchens with me, wrapped in a cloth to protect me from the heat, though by the time I got to the cake, the pod had cooled down. A nice fat chocolate bow bedecked the cake, with chocolate cookie wafers to either side of it. And that entire slice would go down HER gullet. It had just been decorated and was set aside away from everypony else so it would not be damaged in any way. As I pretended to admire its beauty, I took the pod and slipped it right into the side at mid-level, sure to be missed by any knife or magic cutting. A fork, on the other hoof....

The next morning saw a bright and sunny sky, the princesses performing their heavenly dance of exchange on their respective tower balconies. I waited outside the dining hall as Luna approached from her part of the castle. “A long and arduous evening it has been, Our nightly court duties weigheth heavily so.”

I quirked my eyebrow and asked, “Forgive me, Princess. ‘Weigheth?’ ”

In a quite un-princess-like manner, Luna snorted and pushed open the dining hall doors, ushering us both in. “Tis a joke, young one. There is no ‘-eth’ ending on the first person singular verb in my old tongue. Despite weeks of grueling effort, We HAVE managed to convey Our message in a few conversations, no?” We sat down at our normal places. Celestia had not arrived yet. “Really, thou wouldst think thou had lightened up these many weeks. Word has it thou poured valiant effort into your studies...and valiant amounts of honey into Shining Armor’s...mm, armor.” I craned my neck looking away to admire the windows and the bright, almost painful sunbeams coming into the room. The silence was as thick as honey.

“It’s not like I told the ants to go looking for THAT food supply.”

Luna wanted to say more, but Celestia clip-clopped into the hall with a radiant bounce in her step. She was way too happy at sunup for my tastes. Her smaller sister looked on with similar thoughts. “MORNING fellow mares! Can you feel the energy in the air?! Oh would I give up cake for the summer to last forever!”

The hair on my neck stood up as I contemplated what would happen if she did that, today of all days, until Luna muttered darkly, “Not bucking likely...” My head whipped around to stare at her. Remembering she was in the presence of one of her citizens, Luna sat up and smiled forcibly to address her sister, “And a pleasant morning to you, too, Tia. We wish We had such an evening, yet We can only take minor complaints for so long before We lose Our mind.” With that, the servants set out the breakfast as usual. Celestia and Luna discussed the evening court and what repercussions to expect in the coming day court. I phased them out for a while, slowly eating my meal. I had nearly forgotten the cake until it was announced and brought out. While Luna sat back and waited for the usual drama to unfold, I sat up, wondering if I had boiled the pod long enough. I had never seen just one pod and I knew the length of time determined the outcome once the husk was pierced.

As usual, the large slice containing all the special decoration, chocolate of course, floated over to Celestia’s plate. Luna retrieved her own slice and began picking at it. Celestia picked up a fork with her hoof, feeling that if one were to partake in such a delectable event as eating cake, it must be accomplished with a steady hoof and a steady resolve to personally enjoy this greatest moment of each day. She has no idea how great this moment was going to be, I thought ruefully. Luna glanced up at my empty dessert dish and muttered, “No cake today?”

I whispered the words, “The cake is a lie.” Luna frowned slightly and opened her mouth when there was a loud bang. A good portion of chocolate icing slammed into Luna’s mouth as cake was blown all over the hall! The dessert dish that was holding Celestia’s slice simply did not exist anymore, and the fork she was holding not a few seconds ago was still vibrating way up above our heads, stuck in the ceiling. Luna spent the next minute coughing out the food that had violently assaulted her mouth...which was the only pony moving at that moment.

I dared not move an inch of my body, only forcing my head to slowly look at the white alicorn. It was as though she had been in a mud fight, and lost. The only white I could see were her eyes, which were the size of saucers. When Luna finally recovered, she was too stunned for words and merely stared at her older sister, too. As for Celestia...her tongue slowly came out of her muzzle and started to eat the chocolate off her own face.

Luna slammed the table with her hooves and yelled in her royal voice, “THOU ART STILL EATING???” To her credit, Celestia continued scraping the chocolate and bits of cake off her, only to deposit them in her mouth. I didn’t know if it was because she had to have experienced worse or her brain had reverted to its more primal form of basic needs. Luna did not care either way, it seemed. It was when she wheeled around on me that I knew I had screwed up, “.....thy room.................now.......” The look in her eyes was enough to make me move faster than possibly the shaman’s haste potion. I only remember a blur of scenery before I was standing in my room. Several minutes later, a Lunar Guard thestral poked her head in and said quietly, “By order of the princess Luna, you are hereby locked in here...until you can behave yourself. And Slicer, from one thestral to another, stay in here. You bucked up this time.” She had a slight expression of sympathy for me before she shut and locked the door. Only slight. But still, I did take her off my fun list.

For a good while I putzed around with my medical books, some other odds and ends I had run across and bought during my visits into the city. I hated being locked up, which is why Luna made it a frequent punishment for me. I was about to go stir crazy when I heard a soft ‘psst’ from the balcony. When I stepped out, Luna was standing outside, watching me. She must have flown up to it from outside. How I envied wings so. I couldn’t hold her gaze and lowered mine.

“A day of solitude and reflection is in order. That We can hold to today’s dialect is a measure of control We art exerting this very moment.” Then the oddest sound came forth. Soft giggling. I looked up and found Luna was wearing a small smile, guarded as it was. “And to some degree, comedy helps with Our speech as well.” I clenched my jaw and looked down again, not sure what to say or think. Luna tut-tutted me and draped a wing over me, directing us both inside. “Perhaps Our reaction was strong for thine antics. Tis the first time We have tasted chocolate at breakfast in a long time, if the cake were true. This truth We must impress upon thee. NEVER do that again.” I stiffened, but Luna patted me on the head, “At least...to Our sister. We have studied thy dreams, We know where for thou art coming from. Suffice to say, there art ‘more worthy’ adversaries to take down. Agreed?”

I smiled wanly and nodded, “Agreed.”

Luna sighed and glanced at the door. “The punishment must still stand, unfortunately. Thou art Mine to command and obey thou must. Thy next meal tis off limits as well, though small price to pay for such a spectacle.” She chuckled softly again at the thought, then shook out her mane. “Spend thy time wisely in here, it will strengthen thy character.” With that she left me to my own device as she walked out onto the balcony and took flight to her part of the castle where she was to sleep.

While a meal might have been off limits just once, it was several dessert sessions later before the Solar Guard stopped escorting me out of the hall mid-meal. I never found out if it was under Celestia’s orders or just a general consensus with Shining Armor leading the charge, so to speak. He was certainly there during every meal for months after that incident.

The memory floats away as I begin to concentrate in gaining speed on the courier, traveling at breakneck speed down the road and across the countryside while getting closer and closer to the pegasus. Before long, we are upon the village and I circle around on purpose to avoid running into the locals. I spot the barracks and angle toward it.

In my approach I notice the barracks sit on the outskirts of the village...ironically the same village I passed a while back on my suicide mission so long ago, yet it is at most only two years and a few months. How provincial and de ja vu at the same time. I also notice the barracks has guards near the front door and most likely some interspersed throughout the building. I hate lengthy introductions and red tape, so I deviate and make my way to the side of the multi-storied building. The courier just alights at the front door so I beat the delivery by a minute, and I wasn't going to waste it.

Taking my bag off my back I pull out some rope and secure it to a grappling hook. Then I attach the hook to the bag. I also pull out and unravel a medium size poncho made out of the Badlands thistle thread and drape the poncho over my bag. It immediately blends in with the surrounding grass so I slip a rear hoof underneath just to mark where it is. I look around and find a small stone and eye the row of windows on the second level. I deduce that the long building would utilize its length to house the guards along an internal hallway, thus placing its administrative offices to the far end, away from the front entrance. While this gives supervisors a buffer, it made them easier targets to flank and rear attacks...precisely Luna's concern with this human. I look to the last open window and throw the stone through it. Nothing. I threw a handful of stones up through there. Still nothing. Okay.

I eye the next window and throw another stone. "Ouch! Who did that!?!" I lift the edge of my poncho and wrap it over me, getting low against my bag. I hear a pair of hooves scrape against the window sill above me and a very angry voice shouts, "I know you are down there. I'm going to kick your tail when I get down there. When I find you, I'm going to beat you harder and longer than you beat your own..." His voice drifted off as he marched his way back inside and presumably down the hallway to come out and look for me.

Throwing off the poncho I pick up my bag and spin around, heaving it up above me. The bag sails through the window. When I pull on the rope to take in the slack, the hook on the bag snags on the inside of the window sill. I fold up my poncho and begin climbing my way up the side of the building. Glancing over the sill to make sure the room is clear, I pull myself up and over, rolling into the room very quietly. I whip around and pull up the rope hoof over hoof just as I hear the guard clopping around the corner, yelling and swearing. Good, that should keep him busy for a bit. I put everything back in my bag, noting there are four beds in the room, not just one. I had lucked out and not run into more guards.

At this point I must make something clear. From his perspective that was mean, I get that. Naturally one would think the first window was the better option. I felt that actively clearing the room and drawing attention outside was preferable to climbing up into a supposedly empty room and getting caught by a bored off-duty guard dozing in his bed inside. And yes, I got to throw rocks at somepony. Keep in mind that pranks by themselves are mean and repugnant. Pranks with purpose are noble and accomplish many things. And yes that does help me sleep at day.

I am about to poke my head out when a unicorn mare marches by. I stay just inside the doorway and take a quick glance out into the hallway. There is a guard stationed at the far end beside one of three office doors. I recognize Luna's coat of arms on the one door and figure with her back in Canterlot, the guard is there for this human I am supposed to protect. While the guard salutes to the mare unicorn, I use the distraction to quietly move down the hallway, slipping back into the first vacant room I threw rocks into.

I briefly take notice of some of the beds while I wait out the guard's window of attention. One bed has a deeper indentation with slight cuts in the blanket. Must be a pony from the north. Another has corners pleated to keep cave spiders out, a thestral? Another bed was done in the traditional royal guard style. Typical stuck-up guards. I am mindful of a tidy room, so I pick up the rocks and hide them under the nicely made bed mattresses. An old foalhoid story of ‘The Princess Celestia and the Pea’ comes to mind and I smile nostalgically. I sidle up against the doorway again as it sounds like the mare addresses the human inside the office and makes her way inside, holding a scroll by magic. That must be the communique. She could use a trim on her long bangs, I ponder idly. The guard seems to be half watching and half listening. Just a bit longer.

The eavesdropping guard shuffles from a comment made by the mare. Perfect. With his attention fully on them, now was my chance. I toss a cocoa bean off to the side away from his guarded door. The soft tap causes him to glance over, but keeps him complacent. A sharp sound from a rock would have put him on full alert, but subtlety and deft of hoof is key here, like working very close to a patient’s nerve strands. I move by him as the human captain starts reading the scroll, the mare looking over his shoulder.

Sigh. I guess Luna was right. With sentries like these and this human's propensity to tunnel vision, I really did need to watch his back.

The mare makes a comment as I lower my duffel bag. Joint accommodations? I don't think so. She definitely needs that trim. I prop myself up on the desk. Let's see if Nightmare Moon's in-your-face move drives home the point that they need me more than Luna says I need this socialization. She wants me to play nice so I will try to play nice, as long as this human doesn't act like a bully and insult my training. I've come too far and paid too much to be taken for anything less than what I am now. I have been many things, but now I am a sly surgeon...

...I am Slicer Jen.

Author's Notes:

This of course rolls right into bobbybrony’s story Dying Embers - Ch 40 A Place of My Own

I had thought about making it exactly 1000 words just to spite the 1000 min word rule, but I could not in good conscience prank my own story. Even I have limits.

Ultimately this is a transitional chapter, a new beginning for the character, but for everything leading up to this point, I wanted to keep it light, a dessert so to speak. I dare say, icing on the cake? I know, bad slicer, bad slicer.