Author's Notes:

For those of you who don't know, I've compiled the suggestions that everyone has proposed through the comments onto a blog which can be found here.

All that said, please enjoy and continue to offer suggestions both for ideas and for improvement.

“Is it wrong that I’m terrified about being decapitated?” Twilight asked, eyeing the guillotine fearfully. She could feel herself starting to weep in abject terror at the prospect of her head being removed from her body.

“No,” said Starlight sympathetically, patting Twilight’s back in what she hoped was a reassuring way. “I’m not even the one being decapitated and I’m scared just looking at this thing.” At this, she failed to suppress a fearful shiver at the sight of the shiny metal blade just waiting to fall.

It was here that Starlight remembered their previous encounter with all manner of metal weapons. She remembered that stabbing or slashing had done nothing to harm Twilight.

Well… Starlight thought wryly as she moved off to the side. At least it’ll be unlikely that Twilight will die via decapitation. She paused, staring up at the contraption. At least by a guillotine. She amended. Even with this newfound reassurance, Starlight still feared for Twilight’s survival at the non-existent hands of this decapitation contraption.

Spike had hidden his face in Starlight’s coat. It was clear that he couldn’t stand to watch his friend lose her head, figuratively or literally. Regardless, Starlight decided that it was probably for the best that Spike didn’t watch and pressed the back of his head further into her coat with her tail.

“Ready when you are!” Discord chimed in, holding the rope taut. Anything less than top speed would only lessen the validity of their results. Twilight stared up at the blade intensely before gulping and looking back to Discord with a nod.

Feeling generous and deciding that the blade should not be the last thing she see when she potentially died, Discord produce a blindfold charmed to show her images of her friends. She’d been so enamored with seeing them again that she hadn’t even noticed when the blade made its rapid descent with her neck as the destination.

She was so absorbed in the fond memories she shared with her friends that she failed to hear the gasps from Starlight and Discord who in retrospect shouldn’t have been surprised at all. It was only when Discord pried the cloth from Twilight’s eyes did she get to see how her decapitation played out.

She looked down.

She saw part of the blade now in the slot below her and the rest still in the front of her neck. She’d also noticed that even though she had metal in her body, it didn’t feel like anything and there was no sign of a wound or any sort of damage of any kind.

“What…” Twilight trailed off, stunned. Her stupefied expression didn’t last much longer as stunned was readily exchanged for relief. Sweet glorious divine relief. She could hear Spike rushing toward her and tackling her into a hug. A small smile flitted across her face as she patted Spike’s head.

“You’re okay, Spike,” she murmured. She looked to Discord and Starlight for an explanation despite having a suspicion on why she’d survived.

“Remember when I tried killing you with all those weapons back when we were first starting out?” Starlight asked. Twilight reminded. She vividly recalled Starlight trying to kill her with all manner of weaponry ranging from swords to knives to axes and everything in between. Curiously enough, while they all certainly went through her, they hadn’t caused even the slightest bit of pain or some form of a wound.

“And then there was that time where I put you in front of the cannon of cutlery,” Discord added. Twilight also vividly remembered that instance. What stood out to her most that time was being able to get one over on Discord who had grumbled when he was certain no one was watching. That was to say nothing of her apprehension of standing in front of a cannon that was not one of Pinkie’s party cannons.

“I also remember we came to the conclusion after all that testing, we were able to conclude that conventional metal wouldn’t be able to put a scratch on you, Twilight,” Spike added helpfully, essentially summing up everything everybody had been thinking.“I suppose you’re right,” Twilight grinned.

“Now that we’ve established that Twilight is apparently immune to conventional metals. Shall we put a spin on this fancy thing?” Discord asked. The two ponies and the lone dragon stared up at him, wondering what he could possibly have in mind.

It was half an hour later and they were all back where they had started: Twilight was laying underneath the guillotine while Discord and Starlight watched with the latter taking notes. Spike, having learned of the outcome of the first run-through, had mustered enough courage to watch the second one.

There was a couple major differences between these next attempts vs the previous ones.

The first being that they’d switched out the blade. Instead of using a metal blade for the guillotine, they decided to go with a stone one. It had at least been able to wound Twilight superficially when Discord shot her with stone tipped arrows. The second had been that they’d altered the height of the guillotine. After all, stone and metal traveled at different speeds when at terminal velocity.

Twilight and Starlight had done the calculations and Discord had been able to modify the guillotine accordingly.

Having been through the experience several times up to this point, Twilight confidently placed her head in the guillotine’s path.

“Ready when you are!” Twilight called to Discord who nodded and let go of the rope once he’d replaced the blindfold over Twilight’s eyes.

Unlike last time when Twilight didn’t feel a thing, she let out a yelp of pain when the blade connected with her neck. She’d also heard a faint crack but paid it little mind. Starlight and Discord checked over the damage while Spike pulled the blindfold from Twilight’s eyes.

“How bad is it?” Twilight couldn’t help but ask fearfully.

“It’s actually not that bad,” Starlight replied. “Just like with the arrows, the guillotine only managed to break your skin. Since the guillotine only had gravity to help with acceleration while the arrows had more from Discord being able to draw the bow back further for more speed, the guillotine actually did less damage than the arrows.”

“On the other hand, you ended up cracking the guillotine when it connected!” said Spike eagerly. “I mean, it makes sense: the stone wasn’t able to go through you so that energy was going to have to go somewhere, right?”

After four more attempts with the same results, they were able to call it definitively. Twilight was definitely not going to die should someone try to decapitate her via guillotine.

“If we’re going to test this, we’re not going to use the Friendship Express or the Crystal Empire’s train,” said Twilight firmly when being run over by a train had been proposed.

“Lucky for us that I happen to own a train of my own then!” said Discord cheerfully. “But we’ll have to go to my place if we’re going to test it.” The silent nods of agreement he received were all the approval he needed as he snapped his fingers and conjured a door. They watched as it slowly creaked open. Discord offered a short bow before hopping through.

Spike, Twilight, and Starlight exchanged wary looks before following Discord’s lead.

Unlike previous visits in which they would have been forced to drift through nothingness until they stumbled onto Discord’s quaint house purely by accident, this time they had the pleasure of meeting solid ground right off the bat. What they saw could only be described as something out of one of Pinkie’s dreams.

Starlight couldn’t quite help herself as she dipped a hoof curiously in brown river. “Is this…”

“Chocolate pudding,” Discord nodded from his place above them. “This proves that you can have your pudding and eat it too.”

Rather than argue about the legitimacy of an adage - she’d lose - Twilight asked about the whereabouts of Discord’s train. He’d pointed vaguely in the direction of where the train was located. As they turned to look in the direction indicated, they could see the beginnings of train tracks starting to form. As the tracks solidified, they could hear the familiar sound of train traveling along the tracks.

“Wow…” Spike marveled as the train drew closer. Indeed, it was quite the impressive sight with it’s sleek design. Each train car was a different color of the rainbow.

“As an homage to you magic of friendship and all that,” said Discord when he spotted Twilight’s eyes burning with unasked questions. “So are you ready to be tied to train tracks while a train runs you over? It’ll be just like those westerns Applejack is so fond of!”

They’d tied Twilight’s limbs, sealed her magic, and tied her to the tracks. Twilight could hear her heart pounding like a drum in her ears as she listened to Discord explain the setup planned. All in all it was quite simple: she, Twilight, would be tied to the tracks, Discord would be operating the train, and Spike and Starlight would be off to the side tracking the train’s speed and running the calculations on how much force would be at work.

When asked why this was necessary, they’d shrugged and said, “For the sake of completeness.”

With that all the loose ends were all tied up. Twilight had nothing meaningful to say and so everyone got into position armed with their communication devices as they watched Discord fire up the engine of his train.

Without any sort of countdown, Discord’s train, like any other train, started moving slowly but unlike any other train, the rate at which it picked up speed was far more impressive than an ordinary train. “I like trains!” He yelled for no reason.

By the time he could see Twilight, he knew that there was little he could do to stop the train barring making it disappear altogether. If he did that though, it would defeat the purpose of this entire operation. While he contemplated this, he heard a loud crunching sound coming from beneath his train. Realizing, that he’d just run Twilight over, he quickly pulled the brake and dove out the window to see what had happened. He could already see Spike and Starlight rushing over to inspect the damage.

“I’m okay!” said a battered and bruised Twilight raising a foreleg weakly as Spike went to work untying her.

“I feel like I shouldn’t be surprised by this anymore,” Starlight remarked as she watched Spike rub the salve all over Twilight. She watched in fascination as all her injuries rapidly healed themselves. “But I still find myself surprised that you survived, Twilight.”

“I know I’m not,” said Spike dryly. After tossing the container of salve aside, he turned to Starlight. “Not including the fact that Twilight survived all manner of blunt force trauma, we already ran the calculations and we both concluded that Twilight would have likely survived this whole thing. That train was traveling at maybe fifty miles per hour before it hit her and that’s not nearly as fast as those boulders we dropped on her were.

“Also,” he continued, pulling out some of Starlight’s notes, “Where Twilight was tied up to the tracks would be more akin to causing paralysis, as nothing vital was in the way of the train.”

With this in mind, Discord had decided to have the train travel a twice the speed as the first test.

Unsurprisingly, the results remained the same. The only difference was that in addition to being battered and bruised, Twilight was almost certain she’d concussed herself during that last test. They had repeated their fifty and one hundred mile per hour tests several times just to be sure and sure enough Twilight had survived each time. Since one hundred miles per hour happened to be the fastest that Discord could go without the train careening off the tracks, they had decided they would call it and put it to rest.

“I think that this one is a pretty simple one, Twilight,” said Spike, pointing to one method: salt. It was just the two of them currently in the throne room. Starlight and Discord were busy conducting some small scale experiments for some of other methods they were going to test later.

“How would you want to go about testing this, Spike?” Twilight asked curiously.

“We could do it the same way that we did bleach or ammonia,” Spike proposed. “Mix the salt with water and then chug it down.”

“It’s a good idea but there’s just one problem,” Twilight pointed out, “how would we know for sure that it was the salt that ends up killing me and not the water. Remember, we’ve proven that if I drink enough water, it can kill me too.”

“Oh yeah…” Spike murmured, dejected. Twilight raised his head up to meet his green eyes while smiling gently at him.

“It was a good idea but we just need to go about it a little differently,” she said kindly.

It had taken a fair bit of brainstorming but with the combined brainpower of the pair of them, they had come up with a very simple solution: simply consume salt by way of simply consuming tablespoons of salt. It helped that there was a precedent for salt in excess being lethal; Twilight had uncovered several reports of other ponies dying simply for consuming too many salty foods too quickly and that led to their demise. Before Twilight could start eating some salt herself, they had to do some math first.

First things first: they needed Twilight’s weight. After gathering that bit of information, Twilight and Spike had done the math and had determined that three quarters of a gram to three grams of salt per kilogram of body mass would be enough to kill. They’d also determined that a tablespoon worth of salt is about fifteen grams. Once they’d done on all the calculations, making sure to triple check along the way, they stared at the boxed number at the bottom.

“...We’re going to need more salt,” said Twilight, stunned. Spike could only nod as he hopped from his seat to acquire said salt.

They stared at the freshly opened bag of salt that stood proudly on the table before them. Much like its ammonia and bleach brethren before, Twilight could feel it taunting her. She knew this to be irrational but had to suppress the urge to blast it with her magic despite herself.

“Whenever you’re ready, Twilight,” said Spike, scooping several tablespoons out for her convenience. He strongly suspected that once they started, Twilight was going to be too focused on swallowing the salt to pay attention to scooping it out. Before she started, she reminded him that the standard procedure still applied: no trying to rescue her.

“To science,” she said, raising the spoon in her grip. Spike, holding an empty spoon of his own tapped it gently against Twilight’s before the mare swallowed her spoonful whole. Spike could tell just by looking at her that it had been far from a friendly experience. Nonetheless, he watched as she picked up the next spoon and pressed on just the same.

]This went on for what felt like hours for the young dragon who’d have to scoop more salt out for her as Twilight finished the first set of five without significant struggle.

It wasn’t until she swallowed the sixth spoonful did she start to protest. He pointedly ignored her protests for water as he forced a seventh spoonful down her throat. It was here that he noticed the swelling in the joints of her wings and her legs. A brief glimpse into her eyes told him that they had started to fog over, not from a vision problem but from a brain fog of sorts.

If that hadn’t been enough to give it away, the slurred speech and senseless mumbling certain had. A quick consultation of the meters and gauges that Spike had installed before the testing started told him her blood pressure was up and that she had already started to develop all manner of stomach ulcers.

As he watched her slump to the ground after the tenth spoonful, he quickly checked her vitals. The lack of a heart rate and pulse had been enough to confirm her death.

In case that hadn’t been enough to prove her death, the angel’s arrival was irrefutable proof as she went about casting the spells needed to revive Twilight.

Offering a gentle nod to Spike, she disappeared.

Once Twilight was back on her legs. Spike said, “I think we can say that excessive salt consumption can kill you, Twilight.”

Twilight could only silently agree after they had repeated their experiment several more times, and punctuated it by drinking almost as much water as previously killed her.

“Well it is that time year so it’s fitting that we’re trying this now,” Twilight observed as they stood in the throne room, the list methods they’ve yet to try held aloft.

“I never really understood the point of tornadoes,” Starlight thought aloud. “I mean from what I’ve seen, they’ve only caused mayhem and destruction to whatever they touch.”

“Here in Ponyville, the pegasi create a tornado to draw water from the lake into the cloud factory in Cloudsdale,” Twilight explained. “Even ignoring that, the ‘rogue’ tornadoes that occasionally form throughout Equestria help maintain biodiversity and can distribute all manner of nutrients via soil and spreading seeds for new plants to sprout that would have otherwise been blocked by mountains or oceans and that’s to say nothing of changing the environment so other plants get a chance to thrive.”

Starlight looked thoughtful as she mulled Twilight’s answer in her head. While she did that, Spike wondered aloud just how they were going to make a tornado without any pegasi to help. Twilight had quickly pointed out that she could fly and create the tornado that they needed.

“Would you even have enough wingpower to pull that off?” Starlight asked incredulously.

“I don’t know,” Twilight admitted. “But we can at least give it a go. Maybe Discord can help by boosting whatever I can create and build a tornado off of that.”

“Sure,” Discord shrugged. “I mean, it’s not even that difficult. All I’d have to do is make up the difference to whatever Twilight can’t do on her own. If we want this to have a high chance of Twilight dying, we’re going to need to make sure this tornado is going as fast possible.”

“Well if we’re going to do that, we should probably have it somewhere deserted,” Starlight suggested. “We don’t want anyone else getting hurt or figuring out what it is that we’re doing out there in the first place.”

“Agreed,” said Discord. “The fewer questions we have to deal with, the better.”

“Didn’t we already have a place set up for stuff like this?” Spike asked. “I think it was somewhere in the desert…”

“Good memory, Spike,” Starlight complimented as they set up their anemometer.

“Thanks!” he beamed. Turning to Twilight, he gestured for her to get into the air after arming her with a pendant that would allow them to watch everything she did in real time. As she did as she was told, Discord gestured for her to fly as quickly as she could. All in all, it went quite well, she’d flown at speeds comparable to that of Rainbow Dash. Yet even still, that still wasn’t enough to create a tornado.

After doing the calculations, Starlight relayed the information to Discord who’d been able to make up the difference that Twilight was unable to produce thus allowing them all to create the large vortex that had quickly tore up the desert of what was left of its resources.

“I am almost feel bad about this!” Starlight screeched over the howling winds as she, Spike, and Discord took cover in their underground bunker while they watched them mayhem unfold. They silently agreed. Even being in the heavily reinforced bunker and safe in the knowledge that it had been tested for these exact conditions, they couldn’t help the shiver of fear that shot up their spines as they watched the tornado ravage anything in its path.

Meanwhile, Twilight stood bravely in the path of the tornado as it hurtled toward her. She could feel her mane and tail fly about in every direction. It was nothing short of a miracle that the two hundred and thirty mile per hour winds hadn’t tossed her aside like a rag doll. It was even more impressive when one considered she had nothing to anchor herself to before the tornado struck.

Instead of the instant death or bone breakages she expected upon contact with the force five winds, Twilight found herself instead riding those winds. Rather than let out a shriek of horror at her situation, Twilight couldn’t help but feel exhilarated. Twilight finally understood the thrill Dash got every time she flew and she couldn’t help but feel the same way as her friend despite the irrationality.

With neither her flying nor Discord’s magic to maintain the powerful tornado, the winds began to slow and eventually settled into a breeze. Twilight had slowly descended to the ground with a faint thud. Nearby, the others rushed out of the bunker to meet her.

Once Twilight had recounted her experience riding in the tornado and explaining why she was skeptical that it would kill her, Discord proposed that they ramp it up.

“Just to see if there’s some sort of upper limit involved. After all, we’ve already warded the desert off to prevent anybody from coming here,” he explained. Seeing no reason to refuse, Twilight agreed and took off yet again.

Much like before, she felt the rush of desert air rush past her face as she flew. It wasn’t anything like the tropical breezes she’d experienced previously but she’d take what she could get. It wasn’t long before Discord’s magic went into effect as the winds Twilight produced swirled faster and faster to produce the powerful tornado they’d seen just half an hour prior. The only difference this time around was that while the previous tornado matched the wind speed of the fastest tornadoes in recorded history, this new had set the new record for highest achieved wind speed.

Twilight silently hoped for an award for this achievement once this was all over. It was this thought that floated through her head as she stood in the way this new tornado. Much like last time, her mane and tail billowed in every direction, perhaps even more wildly, were such a thing possible. Much like last time, she soon found herself caught up in the thick of the winds. Much like last time, she had been able to, albeit with much more effort this time, recover and instead ride the winds before the magic behind them dissipate.

After confirming her version of events with the one that the others had witnessed, they had decided to try multiple tornadoes to see how Twilight would fare against those.

As it turned out, she had managed well against them in much the same way she had with the individual tornadoes.

“Do you think we could turn this into a ride for younger ponies?” Discord wondered as they packed away their equipment after confirming with multiple trials that Twilight wasn’t going to die by way of a tornado. “Twilight seemed to rather enjoy herself after getting over the shock of being caught in a tornado.”

Twilight hummed thoughtfully. “It’d have to be a lot slower than these since we don’t want them getting hurt but outside of that, I can’t see why not.”

That aside, they’d since determined that Twilight wasn’t going to die by way of a tornado.

“Wait…” Spike stopped. “I don’t think that just incredibly heavy winds are anything that can kill.”

“What do you mean?” Starlight asked.

“I think I get it.” Twilight said. “I was the only thing in those tornadoes. Under normal circumstances, they’d be picking up debris, and there’s the sudden stop at the end of the fall for non-pegasi.”

“Well, we already tested both!” Discord pointed out. “What’s next?”

“This one is actually quite common when ponies are looking to commit suicide,” said Twilight grimly. “That’s why I think it’d be wise if we tested this since we have the conditions needed to do so.”

“The setup is pretty simple for a case such as this,” Starlight explained. “In most of the cases we’ve read, it’s usually the victim swallows the full bottle of vitamins.” She raised the container in question before gesturing to the other containers of varying sizes.

“Since the reports indicate a different number of vitamins being consumed before the victim dies, we decided we would take the three most common volumes and vitamin types and match them,” Starlight explained. “We’ve managed to acquire five bottles of each size class to cover our bases.”

“Now it’ll just be a matter for me to try each and see what happens,” Twilight replied, nodding to the numerous bottles on the table.

Before they could do anything, however, they needed to get Twilight’s baseline vitals as a point of comparison to anything else that they might observe during the test. Once they’d gotten all her vitals, Twilight soon found herself hooked up to all manner of gauges as she’d been previously. She didn’t need to ask as she spotted the various monitors hovering around her three friends, two of whom were armed with notepads and quills while Discord had armed himself with a pair of binoculars, ready to dictate anything and everything that happened.

“I’ll start with vitamin A,” said Twilight. “Be sure to keep track of time and whether there is some sort of relationship between how many pills I consume and how quickly I die if I happen to die.”

Without waiting for a response, Twilight raised the first bottle filled with thirty tablets of vitamin A supplements. Once she’d emptied the bottle and swallowed the glass of water next to it, she tossed the now empty bottle unceremoniously into the nearest trash bin.

Twilight quickly found the light far more blinding than it had been previously. To respond, she had taken to squinting or covering her face. At the same time, she could feel her eyes burn and her head aching. She’d only been standing for a few minutes but it had felt like hours and she could already feel fatigue setting in alongside the muscle weakness and joint pain.

Plopping herself unceremoniously on the ground, Twilight grimaced as she paced irritably around the testing space before rushing over to the chamber pot they’d brought in for her needs. Even with her loosened bowels, Twilight still had enough presence of mind to close to curtains as she answered nature’s impatient call.

When she came out, they let out gasps of alarm as Discord dictated what he saw.

“Looks like she’s lost a chunk of her mane and tail since she went in,” he told them, “probably half her coat’s red from her scratching it. Increased urination since this probably the third time Twilight’s used the restroom this hour. I wouldn’t rule out diarrhea or constipation given the frequency. She also seems really irritated… well more than she usually is anyway. I can also see signs of eye irritation given the way she’s constantly rubbing at them and increased light sensitivity.”

Before Discord say anymore, Twilight felt the familiar chill travel up her body. She could feel her heart thumping far more violently and felt a spasm of pain surge through her. As the cold crept ever closer as her vision blurred to black.

The others rushed toward her and checked her vitals.

Twilight was dead. But not for long as they spotted the familiar golden light of the angel descended down to grace them with her presence. They watched as she went about casting her spells and healing all the damage the vitamins had done while shaking her head. Whether it was from amusement or incredulity, it was difficult to say.

In any case, the angel nodded before disappearing before Twilight woke up again and unsteadily clambered to her hooves. She let out a piteous moan when she spotted the remaining forty four bottles waiting for consumption.

“Hopefully it’ll be quick.”

As it turned out, it was quick. Or at least quicker. The smallest bottles had all killed her unsurprisingly. However, those had killed her slowly and painfully if the symptoms had been any indication.They had tested each of the three vitamins of choice: A, D, and E and hadn’t determined any relationship between vitamin type and death. As they proceeded to progressively larger bottles of each vitamin, Twilight’s death occurred more swiftly. Something Twilight had been grateful for if the lack of injury had been any indication.

By the time they’d gotten to their largest bottles, it seemed that Twilight would drop dead within minutes of consuming the vitamin tablets.

“I think we can call it now,” said Twilight weakly after being revived for the forty fifth time during the testing. “Vitamins A, D, and E can most certainly kill an alicorn.” They left the acetaminophen and prescription tranquilizers untouched, though Twilight did surreptitiously take 5 aspirins to use between tests.

“This one is actually quite interesting,” Twilight observed as she read it off the list. The others peered over to read for themselves.

“How is being boiled alive interesting?” Spike asked.

“Well, Spike, it’s interesting because it places two contrasting elements in the same environment,” Twilight lectured. “And they’re both elements we’ve already tested.”

“Fire and water,” Starlight supplied helpfully. Twilight nodded her approval.

“Exactly,” she nodded. “We already know that I don’t sustain injury from being set on fire or being tossed into a pool of lava. On the flip side, I’ve died by way of drowning and drinking too much water.”

“When you put it that way, it does seem interesting,” Starlight admitted.

“So how exactly does one die by being boiled alive?” Spike asked curiously. “I mean, most hot baths I’ve been in are actually really relaxing. I know that the spa has a hot tub as well for much the same thing.”

“There’s a difference between comfortably warm and scalding,” Twilight reminded him. “Remember that time when we first moved into the Golden Oaks library and I drank all that hot sauce by mistake?”

How could he forget? Spike remembered that incident fondly if only because it was one of the few times Twilight mixed such a mistake. He also remembered it fondly because he remembered the steam gushing out of Twilight’s ears and the fire searing out of her mouth afterward. He’d made sure to burn that into his memory forever. He’d noticed Starlight and Discord’s interested expressions and made a mental note to tell them about it later.

“But what does that have to do with anything?”

“With how hot that hot sauce was, I thought I’d scalded my tongue with it,” Twilight explained. “The idea is essentially the same here. Just instead of my tongue, it’ll be all of me.”

“Oh…” Spike uttered as the explanation sunk in.

“So just to sum things up, the idea that we’re going to test is whether the scalding can cause enough damage to my tissues that it would constitute a lethal wound,” said Twilight.

“So what would constitute a lethal wound here?” Starlight asked. “I want to know what to look for.” Twilight had gone on to explain that any third or fourth degree burns sustained would be considered lethal.

“So how do you want to go about setting this up, Twilight?” Starlight asked curiously. “I have a couple ideas in mind if you’d like to hear them…”

Starlight’s proposed setup, much like most every setup they’d had up to this point, was incredibly simple. They would place a large black cauldron on top of a metal grate which was placed over a fire.

“It’ll be like warming a pot of tea over a stove,” Starlight had said while she, Twilight, and Spike built their rig.

Discord had decided to take things a step further by way of including a variety of liquids. The most common ways to die by boiling included water and oil. Figuring this would be good but still not enough for his eccentric tastes, he’d included tar, a black substance derived from coal or wood used to coat the hulls of ships, and tallow, a type of animal fat that would be a liquid when boiled and was often used in soaps.

It would still be interesting to see how Twilight would fair against their assorted liquids of doom.

“Let’s start with our arbitrarily defined control: water,” Starlight suggested. “From what I’ve read when doing research on this, most Equestrian executions that featured being boiled alive were typically done in water.”

“Why’s that?” Spike asked curiously as he and Starlight went about pouring bucket after bucket of water into the large cauldron.

“Well mainly because oil and tar weren’t as readily available back in those days,” Starlight explained grimly. “Plus it wasn’t exactly the quickest way to die so that’s why it was seldom used. That’s also why there are so few cases of it in Equestrian history as there were plenty of dark spells widely available then that could do the job quick and clean but those have since been outlawed by the princesses in favor of more merciful methods.”

“Huh…” Spike mused as he tossed aside the bucket after filling the cauldron up. “Learn something new every day.”

“I’m ready whenever you are!” Twilight called, hovering over the mouth of the cauldron while eyeing it warily. Discord gave a nod as Spike set the wood and coal on fire, prompting Twilight to hop into the cauldron. She’d let out a yelp of surprise at the cold water before sighing in relief as she felt the water warm via the fire.

“This is nice,” she sighed, leaning back against the cauldron and stretching her legs out. “This feels like a spa but without the herbs or sweet scents.”

“If you wanted sweet scents, I can arrange for that,” said Discord, producing an air freshener and spraying it all around the cauldron. Twilight coughed as she accidentally inhaled some of it before waving the rest away.

While Discord continued applying his sweet scents, Starlight and Spike had huddled around a crystal that let them keep track of the temperature without having to get close to the fire. Just as well, the fire was roaring at well over one hundred and twenty degrees cantergrade and the hissing and spitting was a suitable deterrent from their approach.

“I think we’re going to need to turn up the heat if we want to get any sort of result,” Spike suggested, watching as the water temperature climbed higher and higher. Despite this, Twilight did not seem the least bit concerned. In fact, she’d even unfurled her wings and had taken to cleaning them in the boiling water. What’s more was that she sighed in delight with each application.

It was half an hour later that Starlight and Spike approached the cauldron to take a peak. After Starlight dispelled the steam, much to Twilight’s irritation, they were able to get a closer look. As it turned out, once she climbed out of the bath, the only difference about her was that she was incredibly wet thanks to the boiling water.

“It actually felt like something out of the spa,” she replied when Starlight had asked how she’d felt during the test. She looked down at her now pruny hooves. “It was probably best that I got out when I did. I don’t think it would have ended very well if I stayed any longer.”

Starlight, noticing Twilight’s longing glance back at the cauldron, smiled and offered that once this was all send and done, they could all have a spa day and enjoy the nice hot tub there. This seemed to be the right thing to say as Twilight’s demeanor brightened at the mention of the hot tub and gratefully accepted the towel to dry off.

“So what’s next?”

“Oil.”

The disgusted grimace that made its way onto Twilight’s face at the mention made Spike and Starlight laugh as they led her to a new cauldron. Unlike the last cauldron, this one was filled with inky black oil. Discord grinned, nodding as Twilight reluctantly hopped in once they’d lit the fire. Twilight shivered: the oil felt far less pleasant than the water had been. She could already tell that she would be in for a far less pleasant experience.

As it turned out, Twilight’s observation was prophetic: the oil had finally started to feel warm but it hadn’t felt nearly as soothing as the water did. It certainly didn’t help that it smelled awful either. Discord, Spike, and Starlight shared similar sentiments despite having the reprieve of a makeshift bunker to hide inside.

It was another several minutes before the oil had finally started to boil but despite this, Twilight still didn’t enjoy the feeling of warm oil on her body anymore than she enjoyed the cooler oil. Twilight suspected that were it one of those body oils Rarity often used, it might have been marginally more enjoyable but it wasn’t so now she was stuck grumbling about sitting in a cauldron of oil.

Plus the smell was starting to agitate her now.

“Well we’ve consistently at the boiling point for the oil for the past half hour now,” Discord remarked, watching Twilight grumble, forelegs crossed as she sat in the cauldron. “She doesn’t seem any different that she did going in.”

“I wish we could have charmed the cauldron so that we could see what was going on inside the cauldron,” Starlight groaned. “It would be much less work than having Twilight get out and get back in again.

“Obviously Twilight’s not enjoying herself in boiling oil but obviously we can tell that she’s suffering any lasting injuries from her stay in the oil, right?” Spike asked. “We should probably check to make sure that she didn’t get scalded by the oil.

With a consensus in hand, the three ducked out of the bunker equipped with face masks to block out the putrid smell of boiling oil to rescue Twilight. Twilight had been delighted to hear the test was finished and with help from Starlight and Discord, Twilight was pulled out of the cauldron. She grimaced at her normally lavender coat now black because of the oil.

“That’s just disgusting,” she grimaced, producing a bar of soap and began scrubbing frantically at the oil to get it off. Discord took pity on her and magicked the oil away. A quick cursory inspection told them that Twilight hadn’t been injured during their second round of testing. Twilight beamed up at the draconequus in thanks before asking what was left.

“Just tallow and tar,” Spike listed off.

“Let’s do tar first,” said Twilight quickly. “The sooner I get through it, the sooner I’ll never have to look at the stuff again.”

“Sounds good to me,” Discord nodded as he went off to procure the tar they’d needed. This left Twilight, Starlight, and Spike to set up for the next round of experimentation.

They’d already set up the new cauldron over the metal grate and the fire when Discord returned with a large vat of tar walking behind him. It was equal parts entertaining and disturbing as they watched the vat float of its own free will and pour its contents into the cauldron. They heard a faint hiss coming from the cauldron and Twilight silently nodded before climbing into the cauldron.

To her surprise, the smell of the tar was more pleasant than that of the oil. Rather the pungent oil she’d attributed to oil, Twilight was pleasantly surprised to smell a scent of pine trees and soap.

I could definitely get used to this, Twilight thought happily, taking in the scent as leaned back against the cauldron. It smells really nice.

Meanwhile, Discord, Starlight, and Spike watched from a distance as they watched their friend hum a merry tune as she allowed herself to relax in the cauldron of murky brown substance. Even from their distance they could also pick up the faint smell of pine and soap.

“It does smell nicer than the oil did,” Starlight remarked, smiling lightly. “I guess it also helps that the tar itself is not exactly dangerous. By the way,” she turned to Discord, “where did you get the tar?”

Discord shrugged. He’d simply conjured it like he conjured everything else he'd needed. He never really thought about it more than that. After all, what was the point of doing such a thing?

“Well it’s already pretty clear that Twilight’s not suffering injuries lasting or otherwise from the tar,” said Starlight cautiously as they pulled her out of the cauldron half an hour later and checking her over for injuries and sighing in relief when there were none. “Either that or she has an absurdly high pain tolerance.”

“That second option wouldn’t be a stretch given what she gets up to on a regular basis,” Discord added helpfully. “And that’s not even taking into account all the ways we’ve tested to kill her so far.”

“Anyway,” Twilight interrupted, embarrassed. “Let’s just finish with the tallow and be done with it!”

“You got it, Twi!” Spike saluted.

“Hey Starlight, what’s tallow?” Spike couldn’t help but ask as he and Starlight put the finishing touches on their fire.

“I think the best way to describe it,” Starlight began, “is to think of it as an ingredient in some types of soaps and candles. It’s made of fat and helps get oily stuff off your claws.”

That simple answer seemed to be enough to satisfy Spike as he lit the flame to heat the solid tallow into a liquid.

“Whenever you’re ready Twilight,” Spike called. Twilight nodded as she climbed into the cauldron and heaved a sigh.

“It feels kinda weird. It feels like walking around in milk,” Twilight remarked, moving around slowly in the substance. “It does smell like my favorite soap though.”

They allowed her to settle into relax in the cauldron. Much like the previous experiences, half an hour later found them checking Twilight only to see that she’d looked sparkly clean. This led to Discord teasing her about her name. Teasing that Twilight had long since learned to simply take into stride.

While Discord amused himself, Twilight turned to Starlight and Spike and said, “I think that we can safely say that being boiled alive is definitely not going to kill me.”

“How would loud music kill you, Twilight?” Spike couldn’t help but ask when Twilight suggested it to them.

“It’s possible in theory but no one’s been crazy enough to try it until now,” said Twilight defensively. “If the sound is loud enough, it can cause an air embolism in my lungs which could travel to my heart and kill me. Alternative, the high air pressure emitted as a result of loud music could cause my lungs to burst.”

This gave the power of music a whole new, deadly meaning. Spike suspected that he’d be steering clear of Ponyville next time they broke into a town wide musical on the fly. The fact that they were able to break into song at the smallest provocation was more than a little unsettling but Spike had learned to take it into stride. He’d frustrate himself trying to figure it all out otherwise.

Nonetheless, there were still other questions he wanted answered before they went forward.

“So then my next question is what’s an air embolism?”

It was Starlight who answered before Twilight could so much as open her mouth. There was little doubt in her mind that Twilight’s answer would have been unnecessarily long winded. “It’s basically where air bubbles that could be produced through the loud music create blood clots and lead to blockages. In the end, it’s the blood deprivation that leads to death.”

“We might as well test both ways,” said Twilight thoughtfully. “But where are we going to find someone with a loud enough music system?”

Discord cleared his throat and looked at Twilight meaningfully. A snap of his fingers later and the largest stereo system they’d ever seen stood proudly before them. Spike remembered seeing a similar model at Cranky and Matilda’s wedding when all that pandemonium happened. He shook his head. It had been a nice change of pace and at least he didn’t have to fight the bugbear.

They all stared at him in askance. Discord shrugged.

“Just because Fluttershy is my best friend doesn’t mean I don’t hang out with other ponies. Vinyl recommended this model to me,” he explained briskly. “It’s not as portable as Vinyl’s is but it is more powerful.”

The suspicion disappeared and a look of cautious excitement replaced it as the two ponies and lone dragon moved closer to get a better look. It was clear just from a cursory glance, the stereo would fit the bill perfectly.

“Should we play a song or just have a tone of some kind to induce some sort air embolism?” Starlight asked.

“Well given that the list called it loud music, I would think that a song of some sort would be most appropriate,” Twilight replied, surrounding herself with the large speakers.

“Coming up with a song should be easy for you two, right?” Discord asked curiously. “I mean, you ponies seem to break into song at the drop of a hat anyway.”

Starlight and Twilight cast their minds to the songs they’d sung in the time they’d lived in Ponyville. There were a lot of them as it turned out. It was soon decided that the two was simply pick one at random and sing it together. After all, ponies sang at the smallest provocation.

In any case, Spike rigged Twilight up to crystal that allowed them to take note of any abnormalities in her circulatory system.

“If anything happens, we’ll be able to document it for our reference,” Spike explained as he and Discord took cover in an adjacent chamber to where they were going to sing. He silently passed them both microphones rigged to the stereo system before giving one last smile before retreating into the safety of the other room. He didn’t want to be around those speakers.

Starlight teleported out of the room behind a soundproof barrier to prevent the loud music from affecting her before looking to Twilight. Her teacher smiled and nodded as they picked their first song and started singing.

“There’s nothing a friend won’t do,” they sang. It was here that Twilight felt it. She could feel the cold creeping in from her hooves and travel up her legs. At the same time, she could feel her breathing turn shallow just as the vertigo started to set in. The fact that they’d set the music to the maximum volume didn’t help her hearing or nausea when Starlight looked at her worriedly and voiced whether she was alright. Twilight could barely hear her - or anything - as her vision went dark.

Starlight yelped in alarm as she felt Twilight slump against her. Before she could say anything, Spike rushed out of the adjacent chamber.

“She’s dead,” he said simply. “The air bubbles clotted the blood and the heart stopped working before long.”

Starlight knew he was telling the truth. She could feel her teachers cold body draped over her own. That was to say nothing of the various images that had indicated the blood clotting around her heart and her lungs. She’d quickly realized that was what was causing Twilight’s labored breathing before she was knocked out.

No one had any time to comment about this when the familiar golden light shone down upon them. They all looked up and their eyes lit up as the angel drifted down toward Twilight. They couldn’t help but watch in morbid fascination as she cast her spells before kissing Twilight’s cheeks.

They watched as Twilight slowly opened her eyes while the angel drifted back up, nodding approvingly.

“Well…” Discord spoke up once Twilight was back on her hooves. “Shall we try again?”

So they tried again to get the same result. They’d repeated their test several times, making sure to shake things up by trying different songs and different tones. It seemed that it did not matter which song or which tone was used when they sang. Loud music seemed to lead to the air embolisms that killed Twilight.

“As I’m sure you can recall,” said Twilight, lecturing the three of them, “there are two ways by which I could potentially die by way of loud music: we’ve already tested and confirmed that I could die by the air embolism that the loud music causes. The next test is simply to maximize the air pressure that those speakers and see if that will be enough to destroy my lungs.”

They had all learned to take Twilight’s enthusiasm about the prospect of her potential demise into stride. They just needed to make sure no one else got wind of their plans. Things would quickly go downhill if anyone just happened to overhear them.

“Uh Twilight?” Spike asked. “Is there any real point to testing this particular form? I mean, we’ve already proven that you can survive sonic rainboom level blasts and we’ve already proven that you won’t survive if you get crushed.”

“You do have a point,” Twilight conceded. “The only way those speakers are going to have a chance at killing me is if they happen to have more force than a sonic rainboom.”

She looked to Discord. He’d answered before she could even voice the question.

“No, these speakers aren’t designed to output anything more powerful than a sonic rainboom. Unlike alicorns, regular ponies are more susceptible to the air pressure. Besides, no one in their right mind would buy something that could kill them.”

Twilight sighed. It was going to be a lot harder than she expected to test this particular idea. Then it came to her. She grinned as she explained her design to her friends who listened keenly while leaning closely to her.

Twilight grinned at the super-powered speakers that stood proudly before her. It took Twilight and Discord working together to break the cap on the upper limit of the air pressure output. They’d recruited Starlight and Spike to help handle the spells threatening to escape and wreak all sorts of havoc but now they all marveled at their creation.

“Well,” Twilight grinned. “Shall we try it?”

Just as a dry run to make sure the stereo system worked, Spike placed a watermelon on top of a stool and rushed back to the safety of his friends just as Discord pushed the big red button. They all watched in morbid fascination as the stereo put the pressure on the watermelon. It didn’t take long for it to crack and split open.

Twilight silently hoped she wasn’t split in half by those pressure waves. She was then reminded of her previous survivals and allowed her confidence to return. After a delicious snack of watermelon, Twilight took a deep breath and stood, surrounded by the stereo system. At Twilight’s signal, Discord pushed the button and Twilight could feel herself vibrating. She wondered vaguely if this is what Pinkie’s doozies felt like whenever they struck.

In retrospect, Twilight supposed that it could have been much more unpleasant. Vibrating in all directions was certainly not the worst thing to happen to her during testing. That said, it was still relatively uncomfortable. She supposed she would have to take Pinkie out whenever she had one; Twilight suspected her party planner friend would appreciate it.

They’d been at it for close to an hour and Twilight found herself growing bored and weary from vibrating and struggled to signal to her friends to stop. Starlight seemed to catch her drift as she prodded Discord to stop the stereos.

Twilight breathed a sigh of relief as they finally stopped. She could still feel the after effects of the vibrations and felt a strange desire to dance. After giving Twilight a welcome reprieve they continued with renewed vigor by way of trying again. To the surprise of no one, the pressure did little more than force Twilight to vibrate around. It had even gone on to become a form of transportation as they watched her travel laps around the room without actually taking a step.

Former queen of the changelings Chrysalis hissed as she peered through the Castle of Friendship’s large windows. She’d watched as her former prey talked animatedly about nothing in particularly. She was less interested in Princess Twilight and her friends and more interested in her pupil.

Starlight Glimmer.

Ever since she, with help from others, triumphed and Thorax usurped her position as queen, Chrysalis had been plotting her vengeance. She had to suppress a desire to cackle madly. It wouldn’t do to give up her position now. Not when she was so close to claiming that which she desired above all else.

“Oh! There are you are!” she heard a voice behind her. Spinning around, Chrysalis found herself face to face with her greatest adversary. She actually felt a small part of her die just by looking at her. She did a double take, looking from the pony staring up at her and the pony of the same likeness talking to Twilight that promptly disappeared as she stared back at the Starlight staring at her.

An illusion spell… that’s quite advanced magic. Even more impressive considering the distance… Chrysalis mused.

“Starlight Glimmer!” she barked, dropping all discretion as she plunged into her pre-written monologue. “I have come to exact revenge upon you…” Before Chrysalis could say anymore, she found herself trapped in a sky blue ball of magic. Noticing that Starlight’s horn was glowing brightly, Chrysalis banged her hooves against the magic shield, only to be recoiled back into the opposite direction and flung around again. Starlight had amused herself by watching this for several moments before deciding that it was probably a good idea to bring her to Twilight.

Smiling at the praise she was sure to receive from her teacher at having capture the most recent threat to Equestria to have escaped justice, Starlight pushed the doors open and trotted back inside.

“Twilight! You’ll never guess what I found!” Twilight looked up from the table that she’d spent the last minute meticulously cleaning. She beamed at the sight of her student, grinning broadly as she rushed toward her.

She’d only needed to look up to see what her student had found.

It was an unconscious former queen of the changelings trapped inside Starlight’s magic.

Twilight beamed and grabbed Starlight in tight embrace. Starlight grinned, reveling in her teacher’s attention.

At Twilight’s request, Chrysalis was unceremoniously dumped onto the ground.

“Now we can try that method that we’ve been meaning to try!” she cheered, galloping away while requesting Starlight to stand guard over Chrysalis.

Chrysalis groaned as she opened her eyes. She quickly regretted it as she felt the bright light pierce through her mostly closed eyelids and burn her.

“I think we can say she’s awake now Twilight,” she could hear the dragon state carefully as she slowly rose to her impressive height, dwarfing all but the draconequus. At the sight of him, Chrysalis thought better of trying to intimidate the others. She had only heard stories about Discord and knew full well that he was not to be messed with even at the best of times.

“Excellent,” Twilight grinned. “Now, Chrysalis. I am well aware that you that you came here seeking vengeance on my student for what happened in your kingdom. But the fact remains that you brought that upon yourself by kidnapping all the princesses and my friends and replaced them with mere drones.” She looked insulted about this. Starlight expected that Twilight felt that she was worth at least being impersonated by someone of higher rank than just a mere drone.

“Regardless,” she continued briskly. “You will not be permitted to carry out whatever half-baked revenge scheme you’ve come up with.” She peered curiously at her. “What is your plan?”

Chrysalis snorted. “Like I’m going to tell you?”

“You don’t exactly have much of a choice in the matter,” Twilight pointed out. “But regardless, I won’t permit you to exact your revenge on Starlight. I will stand in as her substitute while you drain the love out of me.”

Chrysalis gaped. Then she remembered that Twilight had been partially responsible for her failed invasion during the royal wedding. She scowled when she saw Starlight lean to Twilight to ask whether changelings prior to the reformation were just awful actors or just plain stupid. Twilight’s answer had been too quiet for Chrysalis to here but from the laughter that escaped Starlight’s mouth, Chrysalis knew it wasn’t something she would appreciate hearing.

Then she remembered what Twilight said.

“What do you mean, “stand in as her substitute”?” she asked incredulously.

“Exactly what I said,” said Twilight as though speaking to a foal. “Instead of draining Starlight of her love like I’m sure you’d been planning on doing, you will instead be draining me of my love.”

Starlight wanted to protest but a look from Twilight made her stop and then stare coldly at Chrysalis. As much as she didn’t like the changeling and as much as she doubted that she and Chrysalis would ever be friends, Starlight held her tongue. Now that Chrysalis was here, they could test whether it was possible to die by way of being love drained by a changeling.

Chrysalis heaved a sigh. She felt the weight of magic inhibitor on her horn and the slimy substance around her wings preventing her from flying away. It wasn’t what she hoped for when she’d been caught but it was better than what she was expecting.

“Very well,” she replied neutrally. She was surprised that Twilight decided to stand in for Starlight but now she couldn’t bring herself to care. She would drain every last drop of love from Twilight’s body if it was the last thing she did.

The next thing she knew, she and Twilight found themselves in a sealed tank.

“Can’t have you escaping after all,” Discord said cheerily. “Now, whenever you’re ready.”

Chrysalis could only nod as she opened her mouth and brandished her special love draining fangs. She remembered how she’d drained Thorax of his love and how that had ended up backfiring on her.

She grinned as Twilight’s demeanor slowly turned from defiant to listless as she felt the last drop of love drained from her alicorn body. She reveled in the sweet honey taste as she felt her hunger fade for the first time since her kidnapping attempts ultimately failed. She couldn’t help but feel satisfied as she watched Twilight slump forward, unconscious.

She watched as Spike, Discord, and Starlight rushed toward the unconscious mare, checking her vitals and checking for signs of life.

“She’s okay,” Starlight sighed in relief. “Thank goodness.”

“It won’t take long for her to regain the love that Chrysalis took,” Discord grinned. “All she’d have to do is just spend a few days with all her friends and she’ll be back to normal. Speaking of which…” his eyes narrowed on the changeling. “I’m afraid I can’t allow you to remember anything of what you have seen here today.” With a snap of his fingers, Chrysalis roared in pain as she felt her memories slipping away. In an ultimately vain attempt to stem the pain, Chrysalis had tried clutching her head in her forelegs. However, the pain had become too much for Chrysalis to handle that it had ended up knocking her out.

“That’s that taken care of,” was all Starlight could say.

“Yes, well… we’re going to need some time to build back Twilight’s love again before we can try again,” Discord pointed out grimly. “I trust you haven’t forgotten that.”

Starlight didn’t forget. In light of this, she dragged Spike off to organize an outing for all of them.

As it turned out, love could generate quite quickly if surrounded by friends and family. This was how Twilight decided to spend the following day. It was a nice feeling being surrounded by her friends after such a long time spending methods by which she might end up dead. Her friends had been just as pleased as she had been when she showed up for the outing content to let things handle themselves.

The following several days had confirmed what their first test suggested: being drained by a changeling wouldn’t kill a normal pony much less an alicorn. Nonetheless, it did have the potential to knock them out if too much love is lost.

“How would dying by cuteness even work?” Starlight wondered, looking up from their list. “That just sounds really silly in my opinion.”

“Well, there that phrase: so cute that it just might kill me,” Discord pointed. He clutched his chest in true dramatic fashion before carrying on. “I know I feel that way when I’m with Fluttershy.”

No one doubted this as shown by his over the top displays of affection toward the timid pegasus. They’d vividly remembered the incident in which Discord gave her animals the ability to talk back to her so that they could throw her a thank you party. Discord neglected to mention Fluttershy’s way of saying thank you following the party. His grin widened as he recalled that ever pleasant memory.

“Anyway,” Twilight cut in, “how are we going to test that? We wouldn’t even know what to look for! Or what constitutes cuteness! That’s completely subjective!”

“Several painful pangs in the heart would be a helpful factor to consider,” Discord offered helpfully. When he received incredulous looks from his friends, he just shrugged. “It’s how I feel when I can’t spend time around Fluttershy because she’s busy or when I’m busy with something.”

“Hmm…” Twilight pondered. She cast her mind back to the human Flash Sentry whom she harbored feelings for during her two brief visits to Canterlot High. While she wouldn’t deny that he was a nice boy and very attractive, Twilight didn’t feel any sort of pangs like the ones Discord had described. She’d cast her minds to all her friends: she wouldn’t deny that they were all attractive mares and there were plenty of dresses that they’d worn that Twilight had thought made them look cute but much like the case with Flash, she didn’t feel those pangs for her friends that Discord described.

To me… They’re all good friends but I certainly don’t think they’re cute… at least not anymore than I think anyone else is anyway. Twilight thought as her mind dispelled the image of her friends.

“It doesn’t necessarily have to be another pony, Twilight,” Discord pointed out, spotting her lost expression. “It could be an inanimate object as well. I’ve seen plenty of ponies calling their dolls cute.”

This statement gave Twilight pause just as she was about to consider any number of books Princess Celestia gave her. Her mind cast back to the doll she’d received as a present from Shining Armor back when she was a filly. She remembered how fresh faced the doll looked when Shining had first surprised her with it. The bright red and blue button eyes, the mane done in dreadlocks which had been something of fascination to Twilight, and the white polka-dotted blue pants and that was to say nothing of the shiny gray coat. Still, as time went by and as Smarty Pants was put through more and more abuse via Twilight’s experiments, the doll was still treasured as one of Twilight’s most prized possessions. The days that she had been without the doll had been painful but bearable though she didn’t dare tell her friends about the dilemma.

One day, when she couldn’t take it anymore, she confronted Big Mac who she had last seen with the doll. One polite request was all it took to recover the doll she’d treasured.

Even thinking of it now, Twilight could already feel something of a precursor to those pangs that Discord had described. Twilight already knew what she had to do as she rushed up to her bedroom, leaving a bewildered trio behind.

“Are we missing something?” asked a bewildered Starlight speaking for herself and for Spike as they looked up at Discord who’d been nodding approvingly.

“I think we’ve found it,” he said simply. Spike and Starlight could only exchange bewildered looks as they tried to figure out what Discord meant.

Twilight returned to the throne room five minutes later with the ragged old Smarty Pants doll clutched tightly in her magic. Spike and Starlight stared at her while Discord wore a smug grin on his face.

“What are you looking at?” she asked, uncharacteristically defensive as she held Smarty Pants close to her cheek protectively. “So she’s the cutest thing I could think of!” She snapped when they didn’t stop staring. “I felt the pangs and palpitations just like Discord said but it certainly didn’t hurt enough to kill me, though.”

“Not even if I did… this?” Discord asked, restoring the raggedy doll back to her former glory: brighter coat and all. He grinned as Twilight’s eyes lit up. She’d paused to give Discord a quick hug before clutching Smarty Pants even more tightly.

And it was here when it happened.

Twilight grunted as she felt her heart palpitate again. Unlike last time though, she could feel her body panicking for some reason. She looked down at the doll floating innocently in her magic. Was it because of Smarty Pants?

Twilight felt another pang hit her as she clutched her chest. This one more painful than the last. Unlike the previous pang which had been accompanied with a feeling of panic, this time she felt her vision blur. She could feel her heart pounding even more wildly than Shining’s did when he proposed to Cadance.

However, the heart could not sustain such a high heart rate for as long as it did and eventually, Twilight slumped onto her side on the floor, unmoving.

The three of them stared at Twilight before staring at each other, stunned. They’d all stared when Twilight panted and sweated as she kept her gaze locked on the doll. Their next option had been to check the doll for dangerous spells.

Between Starlight and Discord, they’d tested the doll for every dangerous curse that they could think of and still nothing happened.

“I didn’t think it would actually work!” Discord exclaimed as he took note of Twilight’s unbeating heart.

Before anyone could say anything else, they saw the familiar golden light and knew that help had arrived.

“Of all the ways for you to go,” the angel muttered incredulously as she went about casting her spells. “I still can’t believe that a cute doll managed to kill you.”

“I can’t believe it either,” Twilight admitted.

“So you admit that this idea of dying by way of something cute is by far the most ridiculous thing you’d ever done,” said the angel, deadpan.

“Yes but to be honest, I honestly think that this might be a one off sort of thing,” Twilight remarked. “I honestly doubt that it will happen again.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” the angel shook her head. Twilight could see that the angel was equal parts amused and incredulous about her latest death attempt. “You won’t see me but I’ll be watching. It’ll be a pain to go back up and then come back down if it turns out that you can die by looking at something exceptionally cute.”

With that the last of her spells cast and the the kisses on her cheeks done, Twilight felt herself return to her body.

“We need to try again,” Twilight insisted as she stood up shakily. She pointedly ignored the protests from her pupil and her assistant proclaiming that she needed rest. “We need to be certain that it was my perception of Smarty Pants’ cuteness that killed me.” They’d noticed her searching frantically for the doll when she asked, “Where’s Smarty Pants?”

The silence that answered her only served to grate on her nerves as she rounded on them.

“Where’s. Smarty Pants.” she hissed, her tone noticeably harsher. Starlight and Spike flinched away while Discord shook his head and produced the doll in question from thin air. Twilight breathed a sigh of relief as she snatched the doll greedily from Discord, muttering a word of thanks before snuggling with the pony doll.

However, unlike last time, Twilight did not feel the palpitations or cold sweat that had happened last time she found Smarty Pants.

She’s so cute. Twilight couldn’t help but think fondly as she snuggled tightly with the doll while the others stared in surprise and confusion. Still, they were relieved to see that Twilight hadn’t died because of the doll again.

They’d repeated the doll experiment several more times in an attempt to induce the same circumstances that led to Twilight’s inexplicable death. Twilight had explained that she’d been thinking about her memories with doll and perhaps seeing her in such pristine condition had been enough to kill her.

They’d replicated the circumstances down to the letter but they still didn’t get the results. This left the quartet confused and more than a little frustrated. Eventually, they’d been forced to conclude that Twilight’s death of cuteness had most likely been a one-off sort of thing.

Unbeknownst to the four of them, the angel that had come to see Twilight and something approaching a friend watched equal parts relieved that it had just been a fluke and disappointed by this same fact.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” the angel murmured as she headed back up. “Why would I feel disappointed that she didn’t die…?”