"Life is a journey and it's about growing and changing and coming to terms with who and what you are and loving who and what you are."
- Kelly McGillis

Living alone sucked.

At least, that was Dusk Shine’s initial conclusion when he was three days into doing so, which he treated as a social experiment. It had been a week since Barb had moved out and he had forgotten to eat or drink near-continuously. It got so bad that he started to incorporate such mundane things as eating, drinking and even bathroom visits into his to-do lists. By the middle of the week it got so bad he started setting alarms for himself, not easy when each thing required a separate alarm clock.

He had to admit though, once he’d gotten himself into a routine that normal ponies would consider healthy, that it wasn’t too bad to be alone – or so he kept telling himself. It was perhaps still a bit much in the spacious castle, but it wasn’t too different from the student life that his parents had prepared him for. Sure, he missed Barb, a lot. But she was a mere five-minute trot away and they had agreed to do afternoon tea at least three times a week. Her award-winning scones included.

Trotting through the castle, Dusk whistled an upbeat tune to himself. He was happy. Genuinely happy. He had, over the course of the week, figured out his feelings. His research material floated around him. Ten heavy tomes, or rather ten novels, each looking as unassuming as the next. They all had a dark cover ranging from grey to deep crimson or – probably his favourite – a purple as dark as his mane.

Each of the books had a simple title in either golden or silver lettering. The only thing they really had in common was the cursive script in which the author's name was embroidered on the covers; ‘Love Song’. He had never actually heard of this author before finding the first of the books he carried. It wasn’t a surprise since all the books were of a quite… lewd nature. But after reading some of them, everything made so much more sense to him. ‘That is exactly what it is, a fetish,’ he told himself with an air of finality, head and muzzle high in the air with pride as if that was it: case closed, problem solved.

Silverbolt bit the sheets, his pink-socked hooves gripping at them as well as cotton against the silk sheets could. It did nothing to muffle the screams and wails of pleasure his Master coaxed from him. Each kiss of the whip on his flank stung before it radiated out with pleasure. He’d failed his Master’s orders. He’d not begged in quite the right way and now he was paying dearly for his mis-wordings. Hind legs pulled apart by a spreader bar, showing off his cute little erection, his tail tied into his mane to show his tight little hole all the better to the world.

The punishment eventually slowed to a halt, leaving Silverbolt a panting, mewling mess. The stallion, the real stallion in the room, his Master, was grinning leeringly. It was an ominous grin. He knew that grin all too well – it meant he would have to beg for his Master to take him. “P-please Master, make me a good mare!” he cried out in that sweet little feminine voice of his. The need and lust permeated his voice. The potion his Master had fed him was doing its job now, the heat radiating through his body to a near painful level. He needed to be fucked, hard and fast. “Please, Master! Fuck this useless little mare, take your pleasure from her cock-craving body!”

“You know, I think I might just do that,” the bigger stallion purred, slowly stalking around his wanton sissy pet. He took his sweet time inspecting Silverbolt. He brushed his hooves along that bubbly flank, covered in welts from his whipping. The faint coos and mewls as he brushed them were like music to his ears. “Hmm… yes, I think my mare is ready,” he commented and reared up to mount the smaller stallion. His already prepared cock pressed against the femcolt’s cute little rosebud, and he lurched forward, spearing the slut onto his mighty erection in a single solid thrust! The ensuing scream was delicious, high pitched and feminine like a proper breeding bitch.

Dusk Shine blushed deeply as he reread the scene once more. It was definitely influencing him. And for once, he actually didn’t mind. He was simply standing there in the hallway, staring at the book while his mind’s eye slowly started to replace Silverbolt with himself.

His breathing became a little heavier as he slowly lowered himself down onto the cold crystal floor. His tail pulled up as he imagined himself as the one being rutted by a stronger, larger stallion. His cheeks turned a bright scarlet as he noticed his mind had replaced the Master of the book with Rainbow Blitz of all ponies. Then again, there was a certain kind of logic there. He wasn’t the biggest and strongest stud he knew, but Blitz was his type. It didn’t help his blush any, but it helped his fantasy flourish immensely.

‘This is definitely a fetish!’ he concluded as his hoof slowly ventured down his belly. He was certain of it: Everything that had been bothering him was because he wanted to be made another stallion’s little sex-addled mare in bed.

He doubted he could look at Blitz normally ever again after this, if he could even stop his eyes from wandering to his more impressive, athletic features. A small moan escaped his muzzle as he stroked up and down along his erection. His flanks raised up off the ground slightly. Eyes glued to the pages, he imagined the cyan-coated stud mounting him, placing a hoof on his head to push him into the sheets, calling him a slut and whore in that low growling voice of his. Blitz’s strong wings wrapped around him, those large wings enveloping his barrel entirely.

That lovely scent of rain on dry earth that seemed to always hang around the stud filled his nostrils. His imagination was running so wild that he could even see the cyan of his coat and smell that soothing scent of his. He froze when it dawned upon him that he hadn’t locked the doors or windows and he was somewhere in the middle of the hallway. Comprehension hit him like a fully loaded train. He was, in fact, not imagining it – Blitz was actually standing there!

"Uh… Dusk. What are you doing?" Blitz asked, with a cocked eyebrow and curious expression.

Dusk stared at the stud of a stallion for what must have been the longest, most awkward moment in time. The first words his mind was trying to get out were along the lines of ‘shut up and rut me’ – though thankfully they never made it past his lips, instead replaced by the ever-eloquent and well-thought-through reply of “Eh… nothing?” He felt like an idiot. The moment Blitz tried to peek at one of the books he slammed it shut and teleported the entire lot… somewhere; he prayed that it was his bedroom and not the roof. Or worse.

“Doesn’t look like nothing, Dusk,” Rainbow Blitz commented, oddly calm about the entire thing. His cheeks were tinged a cute shade of red and he did respectfully look away from Dusk – who still had yet to actually stop clopping. “You... could at least stop, dude…” Rainbow said.

It sounded forced however. As if Blitz would prefer if he continued with the lewd display… or was he just imagining it?

“R-right!” Dusk said, looking away from Blitz and lying down on his belly to hide away his painfully erect pride. “S-so, eh... what brought you over? A-and you should really learn to use the doorbell.”

“We totally had an appointment, dude,” Blitz commented with a roll of his eyes in his typical Nightmare-may-care voice. “Lunch, remember?”

“R-right, sorry! You're off on tour with the Wonderbolts tomorrow...” Dusk sighed heavily, head now hung low over the guilt of forgetting. “How late am I?”

“Only ten minutes. I kind of thought you were caught up in an experiment like last time,” Blitz recalled, smirking a little. “I was partly right, I guess?”

Dusk felt embarrassed. Very embarrassed. And that cocky grin on Blitz’s muzzle wasn’t helping at all. He’d seen him giving that look before, to both mares and stallions, before suddenly disappearing with the pony in question. It was a trademark smirk for him. ‘Is… is he checking me out!? No... that’s wrong! We’re friends!’ Dusk thought to himself, suddenly feeling a little meeker before his friend.

“R-right, yeah, I for-ehm… caught up in reading,” he excused, which clearly wasn’t a lie, so long as one ruled out omission.

“So I noticed. Shall we? My treat.”

“N-no! I’m paying half as always!” Dusk quickly insisted. He didn’t meet Blitz’s gaze but he could definitely feel the stallion’s eyes roving over his body. “Please, I’d feel bad having you pay when I was late… again.”

“Eh, fine, dude. I’ll give you some time to, eh… cool down,” the stallion said, with that same cocky smirk. Dusk was happy he was lying down – that smirk and the look in those magenta eyes would have made any stallion or mare weak in the knees.

“Y-yeah… see you there in five.”

As it was, it took Dusk a little longer than five minutes to cool down, but in the end a freezing shower solved his issue fast enough. The purple-coated stallion was already on his way to the little cafe where he and Blitz were meant to meet up in the first place. His mane and coat were, for once, neatly brushed… he had to groom himself at least a little after the heat spell he used to quick-dry both mane and coat left it sticking out in all directions.

He still couldn’t shake the feeling that Blitz had been checking him out in the hallway. ‘It couldn’t be, right? We’re friends! That would make things so awkward. Blitz wouldn’t risk our friendship like that… right?’ he reasoned to himself. He was ashamed to admit that a part of his mind had wanted Blitz to be interested. It had most definitely caused Dusk to fantasize about his friend. Dusk still believed he had simply imagined Blitz looking at him – was he really that desperate?

Dusk sighed heavily. Why did feelings have to be so complicated? Why couldn’t they be more like spells? Simple, straightforward, and mathematically constant.

As he saw the Moonlight Cafe come into view, he suddenly felt anxious. What was Blitz going to say? What should he even say? Should he act as if the entire incident never happened? Or should he apologise? The questions just kept coming until eventually he was lost in his own mind as it all spiralled out of control.

He had stopped dead in his tracks. Mid-trot actually, nearly toppling over in the process. It was a good minute before he was snapped back to reality by a troop of colts and fillies that passed him by, giving him curious looks for standing in the middle of the street. ‘Well… only one way to find out,’ he thought to himself. Steeling his resolve, Dusk pushed onwards, approaching the cafe as casually as he physically could, nerves still threatening mutiny.

Seeing Blitz casually sitting at a table definitely didn’t help him any. The pegasus was reclined back in his chair, facing away from Dusk. It gave Dusk Shine the time to appreciate Blitz’s athletic physique. He wasn’t Apple Jack, who was the largest and most muscular stallion of their group by far. Blitz, however, was definitely more appealing to him. A sleek, nimble frame that still had powerful, well defined, and lean muscles. Dusk subtly licked his lips. If Blitz wanted to, he could easily overpower the alicorn, push him into the dirt and– He shook his head vigorously to derail the intensely vivid train of thought.

‘Get a grip, Dusk! You don’t even know he feels that way!’ the stallion scolded himself. He had to admit that the thought of Blitz not reciprocating his feeling in some fashion brought forth a pang of sadness in his heart. Heaving another sigh the stallion started the – to him, at least – excruciatingly long trot over to join his friend, the sight of whom in a single moment filled his heart with dread but his mind and loins with lust. 'Why must emotions be so confusing...'

“Hey,” he greeted lamely while taking a seat across from Blitz. He felt awkward seeing his friend’s massive smile. The stallion was up to something; he could see that glint of mischief in his eyes.

“Sup, enjoyed yourself?” he asked with a low, rumbling chuckle.

Dusk couldn’t help but shiver at the chuckle. He loved stallions with a nice deep voice. He had never thought about Blitz in this way. It was horribly distracting and even though he didn’t want to admit it, kind of a turn-on.

“Yeah, no. I took a very cold shower.” The lilac-coated stallion mumbled softly, being careful so only the pegasus could hear him. He could already feel his cheeks turning a lighter shade of crimson. “So… looking forward to the tour then?” he asked, trying to steer the subject as far away from what had happened as possible.

“Kind of, a little less after what happened to me a bit earlier,” he said with a brief dreamy smile. “Kind of saw this cutie… makes me wish I could stay.”

Dusk swallowed hard. ’Was Blitz talking about him? Was he hinting at something here? Was he just being desperate and hoping it was him?’ He cursed his mind for running with the thought. “I see. Well, you could always write to that pony, right?” Dusk offered, trying to remain as neutral on it as possible.

He didn’t like the way the corners of Blitz’s muzzle twitched, as if he was suppressing a smirk. ‘I-is he… playing with me!?’ Dusk questioned himself. He had seen Blitz ‘playing with his food’ as Elusive had described it before. It always amused the stallion greatly… and Dusk had to admit to himself, he enjoyed the idea of ending up Blitz’s food, of being played with.

“Letters don’t warm the bed though,” the pegasus quipped with a sly wink.

Dusk’s heart nearly stopped. A wink? What by Solaris’ Beard did that even mean? Was it one of those cues of interest he had read about? “I guess, although is that really what's important?” He felt silly asking it, especially of a stallion that was so notorious for sleeping around.

“I guess not, dude. It’s just one of the perks of living close together you know? Falling asleep with a soft body in your embrace, waking up to those cute violet eyes, that light lilac coat brushing against yours. There is something enticing about that, wouldn’t you agree, Dusk?” Blitz asked, the smirk now properly cemented on his muzzle.

He had to admit that the pegasus, as much of a nymphomaniac as he was for a lack of a better term, had a point. It did sound divine waking up in a stallion’s strong embrace. Half-lying on his back with that cyan stud on top of him, whispering lewd words into his ear. Another jolt of lightning shot up his spine at the fantasy unfolding in such a public place. “Y-yeah, that does sound good,” he mumbled, his blush intensifying exponentially. Dusk was well aware that Blitz was describing him. There was only one pony with violet eyes and a coat like his in Ponyville.

“Would you gentlecolts perhaps like to order?” the waiter asked. Dusk was startled for just a moment at his sudden appearance. Had he been there all this time? Had he heard anything? Was he a gossip that would tear him down in private away from the professional facade!?

“Oh yeah, we’ll each have a serving of hayfries and a hayburger. Oh! And a strawberry shake each,” Blitz said before Dusk could even open his muzzle. Not that Blitz had ordered the wrong thing, in fact he had ordered his favourite for more casual meet ups like this.

“Certainly, it will be out in a moment,” the waiter said promptly before turning to take his leave.

“What? It’s your usual, right?” the stallion asked with a knowing smile. It quite suddenly made Dusk aware of himself gaping at his brash friend. Sitting back in his chair, he heaved as subtle a sigh as he could manage.

“Yeah, I’m just not used to ponies ordering for me.”

“Heh, a shame really. It’s kind of normal on a date,” Blitz said idly with his usual carefree attitude. Dusk had to take slow careful breaths. His heart was pounding wildly in his chest. ‘He sees this as a date!?’ he mentally screamed to himself.

“I… guess that’s true?” he commented timidly. He couldn’t remember if Blitz had ever ordered for him before, he had also never really been on a date either so he couldn’t say if what his friend suggested was actually true. He simply had to assume it was, his heart insisted. “You’re still not paying for me though,” Dusk said, a bit more meekly than he had intended.

“Oh yeah? Want to race me for it?” the pegasus asked with his signature cocky smirk.

“No.”

“Aaaawh, race you for… a kiss then?”

Dusk wanted to say something. The words simply died on his tongue once Blitz’s ‘challenge’ finally sank in. Dusk became aware of the burning sensation on his cheeks. The shock of his friend offering a bet that would end in a kiss no matter the outcome left Dusk stumbling over his own words like a school-age filly. By the time he finally got his thoughts into a semblance of coherency, Blitz had already made his next move.

Dusk could feel the large hind hoof of the other stallion lightly rubbing against his. It was slowly trailing along the inside of his leg and steadily upwards. A part of him wanted to tell the cyan pegasus off, while a more lusty, feminine part was telling him to just give in to the incorrigible pegasus. Blitz was clearly interested, right?

Blitz’s casual smile was nothing but charming. Dusk found himself less and less concerned about proper conduct. Not that anypony could see what was happening under the tablecloth. The principle of the thing wasn’t even important to him anymore. In that moment Dusk was ashamed to admit that lust was winning the battle over reason, especially as he felt Blitz’s surprisingly soft frog pressed against his sheath… or more importantly, the head of his shame that was already poking out. ‘No, no, no, no this can’t happen now! He can’t seriously mean to–’ Dusk’s thoughts were derailed by the low, barely audible groan he gave as that powerful hoof started stroking him so surprisingly gently.

“Sorry-I-forgot-I-left-an-experiment-running-got-tago!” Dusk’s horn lit up in a deep violet aura. The spell was rushed and not accurate enough for his usual standards, but it would be enough to get him out of there. He felt the powerful pull of magic, and with a pop and flash he was gone. The last image burned into his mind was a dazed looking Blitz sitting at the table.

The flash of purple magic deposited him into a dark room. Dusk lay there sprawled out on the cold, hard ground in an abyss of seemingly endless dark. His horn hurt, a slight throbbing and burning pain. ‘I… think I overdid it. Magical burnout would be just perfect right about now...’ Dusk’s snarky side commented as it slipped into control.

“Bucking smooth, Dusk,” he grumbled, standing up and letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. It was then that he realised where his magic had spat him out: the unused supply room down the hall from his bedroom. He was kind of amazed that the spell put him there; he could have sworn that the emergency teleport spell had been keyed to his private chambers. “Great… just one more thing I need to solve,” he continued to gripe as he started towards the door far in the distance.

‘What was that even? Blitz being all… touchy,’ he wondered with agitation, his cheeks burning at the mere thought of Blitz. Thinking about it made him acutely aware of his shame standing at full attention. The sensation of that powerful hoof grinding into his shaft was still fresh in his mind. He tried to push any thoughts of the deviant cyan pegasus from his mind as best he could. Blitz’s charming smile. The sensation of his gentle hoof against his body. That calm, collected look in his friend’s sparkling magenta eyes. ’Oh bucking TARTARUS!’

There was a part of him that longed to be in Blitz’s embrace. His mind was already running with the idea, overthinking the scenario like only Dusk could do. The way Blitz would push him down into the dirt right at the cafe, simply using him like a whimpering little slut in public view. A hoof placed on his head, the other spanking his flank while Blitz went all out, rutting him like one of his many sexual conquests… Calling him things like ‘slut’ or ‘whore’ – an entire assortment of sexist swears started filling Dusk’s mind all the while under the gaze of a crowd that saw him given what he wanted so badly.

Just thinking about the scenario his fucked-up mind conjured to life was electrifying. He wanted it, a part of his mind was literally screaming that he needed that. “GET A GRIP! He is your fucking FRIEND!” the stallion shouted as he stomped through the door and out of the room. His voice echoed through the hallway, the word ‘friend’ repeating over and over, driving home his own point. “Y-you don’t think that about friends… r-right!?”

He needed to do something. He needed to clear his mind and compose himself, preferably before he ruined his friendship with Blitz. The last thing he wanted was to lose one of his best friends. One of his only friends that kind of knew him in any measure… there was always a divide between him and his friends, the divide that was only natural between a freak and normal ponies.

Dusk knew they probably wouldn’t understand it. No pony would understand this weird, absurd fetish he had. He accepted that his friends would perhaps never understand but even with that thought he walked to the castle’s library and smiled a little. It was just that. A fetish. Something he got off on in the bedroom by reading shunned forms of literature. And that was fine, that was how ponies handled their fetishes. In the sanctity of their private chambers. He nodded once to his train of thought; it was logical, plus he had read it in a book somewhere.

Pushing open the door to the library, he instantly started collecting some interesting reading material, not really paying much attention to what he grabbed. The spell he wove through the air simply grabbed books that were on his list of material that he still needed to finish.

The stack of tomes gathering on the reading desk looked so very inviting to him, though to school colts and fillies it would have likely looked rather nightmarish. He easily recognised the top book – he had started it at the beginning of the week and still needed to finish it. With a calm, controlled smile, he grabbed the book in his magic and began reading from where he had left off, pulling up a reference guide that he knew would probably be needed later.

He had been right about needing the reference guide. He also had to pull out three more tomes from the stack that he had been intending to go through before finally finishing the heavy-duty reading material. It had been perhaps a bit more than he had needed, but it had kept his mind focused and away from wandering.

The other books were not as distracting as he had hoped they would be – still interesting and captivating in their own right, but Dusk Shine found his mind wandering more and more. As the stack dwindled he found it harder and harder to actually focus on science or magic. Fortunately though, the pain in his horn had entirely subsided by the time he closed the second to last book and they had adequately distracted from that, at least.

Taking the last one from the stack, he paused and stared thoughtfully at the cover for a long moment. It was another Love Song novel. When had he grabbed that one? There had only been academic works on his to-read list. He blushed a little as he cracked open the cover. The book was brand new. Dusk could tell; it had the distinct scent of freshly printed paper. He didn’t even know that ‘The Prince’s Garden’ was in his collection…

Come to think of it, Dusk Shine wasn’t even aware the volume even existed, much less present in his library. He had ordered the other books – under a false name, of course – from his favourite bookstore in Canterlot and had taken them to his room the moment they arrived. So where exactly had this one come from?

His cheeks turned a cute shade of crimson as he turned the first page. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting. Certainly not a graphic piece of art depicting an alicorn prince lying in a sea of pillows, surrounded by mares and stallions in various states of provocative dress. His cheeks burned at the centre most pony, a stallion dressed in mares clothing, quite literally worshipping the alicorn’s immense, throbbing pride. The sight was mouth-watering to Dusk.

‘Maybe one more little fantasy won’t hurt…’

Author's Notes:

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.

I would like to give a huge thanks to Manifest Harmony for creating the Clocktower Society setting and making this story possible.

I would also like to extend a huge thank you to my editors:

*Fuzzy Fabricator

* ScopeEva

* ShadowedEmber

* Troposphere

* sixkiller5

I would also like to give a massive thank you to my patreon supprters:
I would also like to give a massive thank you to my Patreon supporters:
> Fuzzy Fabricator
> Dr_MindQuill
> Richer19
> Psy Key
> Luminescent Aurora
> Darkaito Bruns
> Shanaar
> sixkiller5

If you like what you've read here, then please consider supporting me on Patreon! The support is greatly appreciated!

I would of course also like to thank you lovely people for reading this chapter, see you all in the next one!

With that I will sign off,
Happy Hunting everypony!