When I was younger, I used to hate the types that would drive a limo to a party. The one time it had happened to me was back in high school, when some jerk had borrowed his father’s Porsche to try and look like a celebrity. I had told myself that I would never become “that guy” or be friends with anyone who was. Then Spike happened. He never did it on purpose—personally, I don’t think he ever considered it a big deal—but every now and again he’d do something that would make me wish I wasn’t there. Right now, I hadn’t the slightest clue what he had caused, but judging by everyone’s reaction, it was huge.

“He just had to bring her here,” Starshine hissed beside me.

The ‘her’ in question was a white unicorn that had curled up on the back of one of the arriving pegasi, trembling uncontrollably. Looking at her, I couldn’t tell what the fuss was about. Spike had mentioned she was a VIP fresh from Equestria, but so was practically everyone else here. Judging by the amount of levitating cellphones, the others disagreed.

“That’s right! That’s right!” Spike shouted, waking his hand in the air. “Did I liven up the party or what?”

“Some celeb?” I asked Starshine, as the phrase “Sweetie Belle” started circulating among the crowd.

“No.” Starshine snorted. “One of the celebs. She’s a sundamned pop idol. Everypony without nipples is crazy about her!” Even drunk, I could feel the spite in her voice. “Can this week get any worse?”

Since I had no idea what the argument was about, I just nodded. On another corner of the roof, Spike landed and offered a hand to the white unicorn to step down. The moment she did, Sweetie Belle was rushed by half the mares. Apparently the laws of stardom were the same in both worlds.

“She seems nice,” I said, taking another gulp of my drink.

“Oh, she’s very nice,” Starshine said through her teeth. “As long as you don’t mind her being the sender of attention.” She took a deep breath. “Sorry, I’ve just been having a tough day.” Starshine attempted a smile. It was beyond forced. “Sweetie Belle is fine, she’s just not somepony I wanted nearby right now.”

“Hey, don’t worry!” I put my hand on Starshine’s head. Somewhere deep inside my head, a small voice was shouting this was a bad idea. The desire to console the mare quickly drowned it into silence. “She’s got nothing on—”

“Allen, bro!” A firm grasp grabbed me by the shoulder, pulling me away mid-word. “Come here! You just got to meet someone.”

“Spike, geez!” In my mind I stood my ground, refusing to budge from my spot. Reality and alcohol, though, were of a different opinion, making me go along with the dragon as it were my idea. “I was in the middle of a conversation!”

I looked back, trying to find Starshine. The crowd was still there, but the mare had disappeared, probably gone off somewhere to be alone. I felt sort of bad. I could have used a normal conversation for a change. Maybe even an understanding shoulder to cry on.

“Allen—” Spike spun me around until I was facing the white mare; in this light, her mane seemed a weird combination of purplish pink “—meet Sweetie Belle,” the dragon announced, as if I was supposed to know the name. “We go back. Sweets, this is my crazy roommate who taught me everything I know about Earth.”

I raised my vodka in probably the stupidest greeting possible.

“Don’t let the stoic expression fool you.” The dragon nudged me. “He’s a party machine.” He then tapped me on the back. “And just a bit drunk.”

“I’m not!” I protested, waving my hand about. For some reason, it all seemed so funny. “No, seriously, I’m fine.” At least fine enough to remain standing. The unicorn didn’t seem too impressed, but kept smiling politely. “Does Spike treat you the same way he treats me?” I shouted as a new wave of music filled the air. “If so, I sympathize. Don’t feel obliged to—”

“Sweetie will be helping you with your magic test,” the dragon interrupted. “She’s, like, really good, and she isn’t Twilight!”

I felt as if a block of concrete had landed on my brain. Only Spike would be crazy enough to drag someone over from Equestria after I explicitly told him I didn’t want a magic teacher. Not only that, but he had deliberately announced it in the most public fashion possible. There was no way for me to say no now without looking like a jerk.

I’ll get you for this, Spike. I let out a polite laugh.

“Sweetie, say something, will you?” The dragon nudged her with his elbow. “People would say I forced you to be here.”

“Didn’t you?” Sweetie laughed. “But, yes, it’s just flight lag and all that.”

“First time to Earth?” Oh dear. This tended never to end well.

“Yeah, and I really need to get some sleep.” She yawned, covering her mouth with her forehoof. “Thanks for the pickup, Spike. And great to meet you, Allen, I’ll be seeing you later.”

Before I could respond, a flash of light surrounded the unicorn and spirited her away. My jaw dropped. Spike wasn’t joking. I had just witnessed a first rate teleportation spell. There was a lot written about it in textbooks, but having one done so effortlessly and one a whim was something else. The party continued in full force around me, but I barely registered it. My mind was too busy trying to make sense of what it had witnessed, replaying the teleportation in an endless loop.

“What did I tell you?” Spike slammed his hand on my shoulder. “With her there’s no way you’ll fail your exam... again.”

“Well, it’s not a complete disaster.” I tried to keep my cool, but my heart was rushing as if I’d just opened a rare item from a loot box. “I’m still mad at you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Spike took a selfie of us. “I’m marking the event just so I have your madness on file.” I doubted that meant what Spike thought it did. “So how’s the party? Cool, am I right?”

“Jen’s here,” I said, the words draining all the joy accumulated a moment ago. I could tell myself it wasn’t a big deal, that we had broken up already and I was moving on. However, it would be a lie. The realization hit me like a wet towel through the face. “Pretty crazy, right?” I forced a laugh trying to overcompensate.

“Allen, I had no idea...”

“Nah, it’s fine.” I took another swig of my vodka. The bottle was empty, but I pretended it wasn’t. Talk about a rollercoaster of emotions. “You’re cool, buddy. What are the chances that the only other human at a pegasi party would turn out to be my ex?”

“Yeah, well...” Spike took the bottle out of my hand. “You hang out for a few more minutes, okay? I just need to check on something quick and I’ll take you home.”

“No worries,” I said to the empty air.

I stared at my hand for a few seconds, then looked around. Everyone was back to partying, the air thick of gossip and rumors. A mare beside me was busy assuring her friends that she had heard from a reliable source that Sweetie Belle had joined the university as part of a cultural program and would be setting off on a tour of Earth once the legal paperwork was done. I didn’t believe a word she was saying, but I would be the first to go to a live pony concert. The only similar event I’d seen was Equine Karaoke, though that was a whole different ball of wax.

I took out my phone and started browsing. My feed was full of pictures from the party, including the punked shot of me and Frostfoot. It had managed to amass a decent amount of likes and comments. The only reason it hadn’t gone viral was because of the flood of Sweetie Belle hysteria that followed. There was no doubt in my mind that I’d get called by the dean first thing tomorrow to give an explanation about both. Jen was still on my feed, her last post dating a few days back. My parents had also sent me a couple of messages in private. At some point, I was going to have to write back with a plausible explanation of how I hadn’t failed my exam, just postponed it.

Five minutes passed, then ten, and still there was no sign of Spike. He wasn’t the sort of guy just to leave me hanging, but I also knew he could have an attention deficit, especially around alcohol.

“Everything okay?” I heard someone ask from above. Frostfoot was flapping next to a cloud, pitying what appeared to be spheres of light in it. “Not bored, right?”

“All’s cool.” I put on a smile. “Just waiting on Spike.”

“And miss the fireworks display?” She gave me a look. “Totally awesome and slightly illegal. But what’s a party without being on the edge, am I right?”

“You’re right.” I wished I could be as carefree. “Starshine’s not helping?”

“She’s probably in our room.” The pegasus pushed the last of the glowing orbs into the cloud. “Her mother appearing here got her really pissed. Me, I don’t mind. My old lady can show up any time she wants. That won’t stop me from having fun.”

“Right.” I wasn’t even surprised. “Any idea where Spike is?”

“I think I saw him head downstairs.” Frostfoot gently nudged the cloud upwards. A few lights flickered from within.

“Thanks.” I took a step in the direction of the roof entrance. “Thanks for the party crash, in case I don’t see you later.”

“Sure thing. See you around.”

On my way, I grabbed a bottle of beer. The way things were going, I could have grabbed a case and they wouldn’t have noticed. I knew it wasn’t a good idea to drink alone, but after everything, what was one more bottle in the grand scheme of life?

“Spike!” I shouted as I approached the staircase. If you’re doing some party trick again, I’ll—

Every fiber in my body froze. I was staring forward, yet my eyes could not accept what they were seeing; fifty steps away, at the end of the corridor, was Spike. The dragon was just standing there, in his usual kilt, as a girl held him tight, crying on his shoulder. It was Jen.