Those who had chosen to drive the motorway around the town, were up to seeing quite an interesting sight. A small, rusty-blue Volkswagen darted out of the woods, nearly causing a truck to crash into it, and swerved between the lanes, its tyres screeching like a thousand bats. A few seconds later, several ambulances, accompanied by a red Alfa Romeo followed the Volkswagen at the full speed. Sirens wailed, cars rapidly driving aside to make place for the column of white vans.

Scootaloo’s face was almost glued to the rear window as she watched all the cars chasing them. Her smile widened. “They’re so gonna fuck us…”

“Couldn’t you get something a little faster?” Twilight asked. “When I saw that car, I almost wanted to quote Princess Leia…”

“I know,” Flash muttered.

“No, not this one.” Twilight blushed.

Scootaloo chuckled, poking Flash. “Though seeing you frozen in carbonite would probably appeal to masses, dude. And never ever have kids. Just sayin’.”

Flash sighed. “I meant that I know about the car, but mine is currently out of order.”

“Worry not.” Trixie turned sharply, overtaking a row of cars, including a convertible full of cool kids and a police car. “Trixie wouldn’t be Trixie if she didn’t think of something.” She pushed a button on the dashboard.

“Whoa!” Scootaloo watched as the view behind them got obscured by thick layer of smoke. Soon, one of the ambulances emerged from it, swerving to hit into the barrier and collapse on its side. They heard the siren of the police car and saw it chasing them. The cool kids also decided that being taken over by a car older than their parents also wasn’t cool, and gave chase.

“What now?” Twilight asked. The Alfa Romeo overtook the ambulances, and only a few cars separated the doctor in an Italian car from them. “Do you have rockets?”

“They didn’t fit,” Trixie replied. “I can use a flamethrower or spikes if it gets close.”

“Won’t be necessary,” Flash said, watching the car. “It’s Alfa. They tend to break at the least convenient moment.”

“That’s bad,” Trixie muttered. “If it broke now, it’d be the most convenient moment.”

Suddenly, the smoke started coming from under the Alfa Romeo’s hood. The car slowed down, soon overtaken by the police car and the convertible.

“Seems like a shpadoinkle failure,” Scootaloo muttered.

“That’s not a car part,” Flash said.

“No kidding, dude.” Scootaloo turned to him and smirked. “I know cars. Shpadoinkle gets bamboozled and then you have to change all the valves.”

“You mean a camshaft?” Flash asked.

“I’ve never gotten any shaft on cam, but I should try.” Scootaloo chuckled. She stopped when the car suddenly swerved to the left, barely avoiding crashing into the barrier separating two lanes.

“Can you stop talking when we’re being chased?” Trixie cried, turning the steering wheel to avoid the ambulance ramming into them.

“To the left!” Twilight screamed. Trixie turned left, through the break in the barrier, allowing the cars to turn towards the town. The car drifted, skidding to the side and stopping in the middle of the lane.

“Is everybody okay?” Trixie asked. Suddenly, she heard the horn of some car and turned her head to see the front a giant truck approaching them much faster than she found comfortable. “Oh fu–”

There were two things Rainbow Dash really liked: fast cars and a good fight. No wonder that once she heard about the fish people taking over, she jumped into her cool, pimped-out Honda Civic, and drove around to grab her friends. Unfortunately for her, Applejack was with Apple Bloom, Rarity apparently moved to London, Twilight and Sunset were nowhere to be seen, Pinkie Pie was out with her sisters, and while Fluttershy was already on the beach, it turned out that she was taking part in the demonstration against the discrimination of fish people.

What was worse, as Rainbow Dash was driving to the beach alone, the massive spoiler at the back of her car nearly fell off. It took her a while to reattach it with duct tape thinking that she could’ve just bought an actual sport car for all the money she put into it.

She was just trying to take over a truck, when she saw some idiot in a small blue car trying to turn left just in front of it. What was worse, the truck driver apparently had good reflexes, since he turned straight at Rainbow Dash to avoid the crash.

“Cocksucker…” Rainbow Dash whispered under her breath, pushing the accelerator to overtake the truck before it’d ram into her, changing her into a bloody pancake. The truck missed her by an inch, but then an ambulance grew in front of her. Rainbow Dash cursed, yanking the steering wheel. The Honda spun around between the cars on the other side of the road. Just as it was about to stop, a black Ford rammed into its right side.

“Shit!” Rainbow Dash heard the sound of torn metal and breaking glass. She hit the door with her arm and bounced off it, just in time to get hit with the airbag. The seatbelt pressed against her clavicle before everything stopped in silence.

Rainbow Dash blinked and looked at the black car. She opened the door and got out, limping towards it. Its right door was open and some grey girl was just trying to get out. Rainbow Dash smirked; the girl’s car looked quite expensive and if she was convincing enough, she could get money for a new ride for her.

“Listen bitch,” Rainbow Dash muttered, dragging the girl out of the car and throwing her on the hood. “You’ve destroyed my car and this is not something I take lightly. You’d better pay me, or–”

Something clicked. Rainbow Dash felt something metallic pressing against her temple. She let go off the girl and looked to her right to see a pink teenager holding a gun almost bigger than her. It suddenly occurred to her that she knew both girls from her school.

“Diamond Tiara?” she asked, backpedalling. She thought that she should’ve taken a gun with her – usually she thought they were for wimps who couldn’t kill anyone with their bare hands, but she did have a little pink revolver Pinkie bought her.

“Yes,” Diamond Tiara replied. “And it seems to me that you wanted something from my friend.”

“Me?” Rainbow Dash asked, smiling sheepishly. “No, never… Why would I?”

“Get in the trunk.”

Rainbow Dash looked around, but none of the other drivers seemed to be interested in the accident. “What if I don’t?”

“Last person I shot had her brain all over the place,” Diamond Tiara replied while Silver Spoon opened the trunk. Rainbow Dash looked inside and stopped in her tracks. This moment of hesitation was enough for Diamond Tiara to smack her in the back of the head with a gun. Rainbow Dash fell into the trunk like a sack of potatoes. Silver closed it and the duo sat in the car.

“You shouldn’t just threaten anyone with a gun like that,” Silver Spoon muttered when they reversed. “Someone may find it a little rude.”

“She threatened you first,” Diamond Tiara replied. “By the way, what is with people trying to beat you up?”

“It may be my outstanding personality,” Silver Spoon deadpanned. “By the way, what are we gonna do with her? And where are we going?”

“Back to the flat,” Diamond Tiara replied. “It’s the last place someone will look for us…”

“How did you even get caught?” one Sunset said to another.

“I asked that orange idiot if she knew the way out, but she just screamed ‘yolo’ and threw a lot of smoke bombs.”

The diminutive nurse paced back and forth in her office, listening to her prisoners and occasionally smacking herself in the butt with a riding crop. Eventually she stopped in front of the fireplace and turned towards the couch.

“Okay,” she muttered, hitting the riding crop against her thigh. “Which of you is our Sunset?”

“Her,” both Sunsets said at once, pointing at each other.

“You’re not helping,” one of the Sunsets muttered to another.

“Well, given that you’re their Sunset, I’d say you’re rather unhelpful,” the other Sunset replied.

The first Sunset smirked. “Prove it.”

“Would someone who was in the hospital for years be able to do this?” The second Sunset pointed at the bruises around the nurse’s neck.

“That could as well be me.”

“We wear different clothes.”

“We could’ve switched.”

“When?” Sunset groaned. “I go to the gym three times a week and the only meat I eat is chicken since they’re also dumb in–”

“Aha!” the other Sunset exclaimed. “You wanted to say ‘in my world’! She’s a pony! Twilight told me everything!”

“So, you’re the one who was living with Twilight, right?” the nurse asked.

“Yes!” Sunset suddenly froze before standing up and going to the nurse. “That is, no! Err… Of course I’m her!”

“We see,” the other Sunset muttered. “Can you tell me any popular song from the last year? I doesn’t seem like you’re to date with modern trends here…”

“That won’t be necessary.” The nurse smirked. “She’s most definitely our patient and you… Let’s say that I’m rather interested in what she’s saying…” She produced a lancet from the pocket of her skirt.

Sunset leaned back, watching as her human counterpart suddenly turns, holding a potted plant in her hands. The nurse spun, but then the pot hit her head, smashing into a million pieces. Sunset stood up and pushed the nurse towards the fireplace. The nurse, however, managed to recover and raised her lancet, aiming it at Sunset.

Sunset jumped back. At the same time, the other Sunset grabbed the nurse’s arm, trying to tackle her to the floor. Sunset charged forward to help her. She decided it was the time to end with chivalry; she unceremoniously kicked the nurse in the crotch and finished her off with a punch to the solar plexus.

“Grab the keys.” The other Sunset put the nurse on the couch and took her lancet and riding crop with her. “Let’s lock her here and get out.”

Sunset nodded. A few minutes later, they were walking down the empty corridor, filled only with calls of the patients.

“Where’s everybody?” Sunset asked.

“No idea.” The other Sunset shrugged. “I’m more bothered by the fact that you stole her shorts.”

Sunset blushed and instead of replying walked to the elevator. At least it still worked and after a while, they both were on the ground floor. It seemed that everyone left the place in haste; there were pens, slippers, nurse hats, and other equipment scattered around on the floor. The traces of tyres outside looked like at least a few cars had driven off.

“The garage’s empty,” the second Sunset said. She got rid of her torn sleeping gown and was now wearing orange clothes of a paramedic. “So much for driving an ambulance.”

“Don’t worry.” Sunset raised the nurse’s keys. “She has her car keys here too.”

They walked outside and headed to the car park. Sunset pushed the button on the keychain and heard the sound of the alarm switching off. Her smile faltered when she saw what she was about to steal.

“What the fuck is that?” she asked, eyeing the car in front of her. “I always thought all the cars in this country were designed by a dude with some serious issues about size.”

“Small nurse, small car,” the second Sunset replied, opening the door on the passenger’s side. “Those were invented by a guy who was making watches and thought that a car can be a fashion accessory.”

“So it’s expensive as hell?” Sunset asked, sitting behind the wheel and moving her seat as far to the back as she could. It was more or less enough, though she still didn’t feel comfortable. “What if we crash into a truck?”

“The guy in a truck will turn on his windscreen wipers,” the other Sunset replied, shrugging. “Let’s go to my house before someone notices us.”

“You meant my house.” Sunset started the engine and found out that the car had a semi-automatic transmission. Having been used to motorcycles, she theoretically could drive stick, but it was hard to guess when she could barely hear the engine and had to rely on the RPM gauge.

“It was mine first.”

“But it was mine for longer.”

The second Sunset sighed. “We can share. You take the couch.”

“No, you take the couch,” Sunset replied. “Also, there are people who know I’m a pony, but in case anyone asks, you’re my twin sister. We just have to come up with some name for you.”

“Why can’t you be my twin sister?”

“Because I met some people you probably don’t know and it’d be hard to explain.” Sunset turned towards the town. The small car turned out to be funnier and easier to drive than she thought. “Also, we met pony Sunset first, and we call her human counterpart ‘Sci-Twi’, so it’s easier to tell them apart. Any ideas for your name? Psycho-Sunset, maybe?”

“Bite me,” the second Sunset replied. “I’m pretty happy with Sunset or Sunny, myself.”

“Sunny? Sunny Flare will protest, but no one cares about her,” Sunset said. “Also, I’ll still call you Fun-Sun.”

“Don’t do that,” Sunny muttered, glaring daggers at Sunset.

“What if I do?”

“Remember that I was considered mentally unstable,” Sunny replied. “I can draw a pentacle on the floor in your blood and put your entrails on the Christmas tree and I won’t go to prison.”

“Chill out,” Sunset said. “I know you and you’re not that insane.” She looked at the road in front of her. “What is going on in there?”

“Looks like an aftermath of a crash,” Sunny replied. “With fish people chasing the drivers.”

“Damn,” Sunset muttered. “Let’s hope Twilight found a way to stop them.” She smirked. “But meanwhile, we can stop them ourselves…” She pushed the accelerator and drove past the fish people, hitting one of the smaller ones with the side of the car. Two others raised their heads; they were much bigger than the first one and looked like they could crush the car with one punch.

“You pissed off the wrong guys,” Sunny muttered, watching the fish people leaving the drivers and rushing to chase them. “Though given the square-cube law, they should be slower than the smaller ones.”

“The question is, are they slower than this car?” Sunset pushed the pedal to the floor, but the only reaction was a rather pathetic roar of the small engine.

“I wouldn’t bet.” Sunny looked back. “I hope you enjoy being canned food, because that’s what’s gonna happen soon.”

Sunset looked into the mirror and when she saw the fish people coming closer, she pushed the brake. The car stopped almost immediately; fish people ran past it, trying to slow down. One of them slipped and fell, slamming its head against the ground with a loud crack.

“Square-cube law!” Sunset exclaimed, reversing the car and turning into the side street. “Their own inertia will fuck them.”

“You’re insane.” Sunny shook her head. “Are we at least going in the right direction?”

“Yes,” Sunset replied. “They redecorated a few bits on the way and added a brand new supermarket…” She looked to her right. “That is currently swarmed with fish people stealing raw meat for some reason.” She shrugged. “Let’s get home.”

A few minutes later, the car skidded to a halt by Sunset’s house. There was no trace of the fish people around, but both Sunsets preferred to be careful; they looked around before getting to the door and opening it. Then they slid inside and locked the door, barricading it with a closet.

“Home sweet home,” Sunset said, looking at the orange clothes of her human counterpart. “My clothes should fit, if you want to get something cooler…”

“This is my house,” Sunny replied. “Do you have more leather jackets? Because I don’t feel right without one.”

“Of course,” Sunset said. “I call dibs on the shotgun, though. And the motorcycle.”

“I bought that shotgun when I started seeing you.” Sunny shrugged and grabbed a loose board in the floor. She lifted it easily and reached into the stash under it. “As well as this.” She stood up, holding a kukri. “You were lucky you’ve never came close enough.”

“So, you were, like, stashing knives around the house and you wonder why they put you in the nuthouse?” Sunset shook her head and turned on the TV before walking off to grab the lever shotgun from the top shelf of her closet.

“It’s your fault. Before that I thought tubular magazine was something valley girls read.” Sunny stared at the screen.“Hey, is that Godzilla?”

“I don’t think so,” Sunset replied, watching the creature emerging from the waves. “But it surely doesn’t give a damn about the square-cube law…”

You may think it’s The War of the Worlds again, but what I’m telling is true. An enormous mass of tentacles just emerged from the ocean, followed by an army of fish people much bigger than those previously seen. It immediately smashed half of those fucking jun– I mean, the protesters. So much for tolerance. Only some of them were saved by a brave, unknown woman who pulled them into her car and drove away just before the army called the aerial support and decided to get medieval on–

The radio fell to the floor when Twilight knocked it over. She grabbed the book and looked at it – the pages were glowing sickly green.

“So that’s what they’re looking for…” Trixie grabbed a few needles from her pocket and started stuffing them into a piece of fabric.

“Why don’t we destroy it?” Flash asked. “Or does that require a trip to Iceland and throwing it into a volcano?”

“Destroying it probably wouldn’t help.” Twilight sat on her bed and skimmed the book. “Apparently once they’re invited to this world, they’ll try to take it over.”

“How do you invite them?” Flash asked.

Twilight blushed. “By, umm… sex ritual. With two partners, but at least one of which has to climax in the process.”

Trixie chuckled. “Who could perform it?”

“I honestly have no idea,” Twilight blurted out.

“Does it have some spells to make sushi out of them?” Scootaloo asked. “I haven’t eaten sushi in, like, years.”

“No, but it says that the Mother of All the Fish People is always surrounded by Seven Singers, whose singing cancels all the magic that can threaten her. And there’s a note on the margin…” Twilight blushed.

“What does it say?” Trixie asked.

“‘Fucking EMP’,” Twilight replied.

“Just great,” Flash muttered. “No spells, and we have to deal with a fifty-foot monster fitted with electronic warfare countermeasures.”

“We don’t have to do that,” Trixie said. “They’ve mentioned aerial support. Haven’t you seen King Kong?”

“King Kong couldn’t jam rockets with his singing,” Flash replied. “I depends on the reach, but unless they throw Warthogs at Mother of All the Fish People, it can’t be killed.”

“I see a solution.” Scootaloo chuckled. “We find those singers and shove grenades up their arses.”

“And get killed?” Flash asked.

Scootaloo hugged Flash and winked at him. “We’re gonna be famous, dude.”

Flash shook Scootaloo’s arm off of him and shuddered.

“If we want to do it, we need a plan,” Twilight said. “Does anyone have any?”

Trixie nodded. “My car has almost no electronic stuff in it. We can get close to them–”

“– and blow shit up!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “Then we’ll get out and kill everyone who is still alive.”

“That’s not a plan!” Flash hid his face in his hands. “That’s suicide.”

“It kinda is…” Twilight nodded.

“Didn’t stop us before.” Scootaloo smiled.

Flash opened his mouth to protest, but suddenly they heard the sound of screeching tyres coming from the outside. They rushed to the windows to see a white car turning sharply in the middle of the street to face the group of fish people.

“Suicide, dude?” Scootaloo asked. “Then what is this dude doing, dude?”

The front of the car moved upwards, revealing a large speaker hidden underneath. The floor of the house trembled from the low-pitched sound. The fish people screamed, falling to the ground and covering their ears. The car darted forward, circling around the group and spraying some liquid on the fish people. It stopped by the fence of Twilight’s house and a thin girl jumped out of it.

“Hello, Vinyl!” Trixie exclaimed.

Vinyl waved at her and threw the cigarette butt at fish people. They screamed even louder, catching fire immediately and running around, knocking into each other or attempting to stop, drop, and roll, only to find out it didn’t work at all.

Scootaloo gulped, watching the carnage. “Have you ever thought you’re the baddest of badass motherfuckers and then even badder badass came in a napalm-shitting, infrasound emitting car-thingy and showed you how much you suck?”

“I believe the words are ‘worse’ and ‘the worst’,” Twilight muttered, staring at Vinyl, who stood on the pavement, flames reflecting in the lenses of her glasses.

“Also, isn’t napalm kinda banned or something?” Flash asked.

“Tell it to her, Trixie dares you,” Trixie muttered.

Finally, the bodies of the fish people turned into dark, sorry piles of bones and ashes. Vinyl walked back to her car and let a few more people out before going to Twilight’s house.

“Hello,” Octavia said when Twilight opened the door. She walked inside, followed by Sophisticata, Vinyl, Fluttershy, and Sweet Leaf. The last two girls had torn clothes and messy hair and immediately dropped on the couch, breathing heavily.

“I see that your ruse worked,” Sophisticata said, seeing Flash, Twilight, Scootaloo, and Trixie. “You would never believe what happened to us. For starters, the army is now running away from the Mother of All the Fish People. She destroyed the pier and, hopefully, changed all those nutty, unwashed animal lovers into a fine pulp.”

Behind Sophisticata’s back, Vinyl made a gesture suggesting snapping someone’s neck and jerking off while watching the light disappearing from their eyes.

“Not all of them.” Octavia pointed at Sweet Leaf and Fluttershy.

“Indeed,” Sophisticata said. “But this one with green hair is permanently brain-damaged. Hey, girl smelling of bananas and pipe weed, what’s your opinion on fish people?”

Sweet Leaf groaned. “They’ll surely enrich our culture…”

“She’s not brain-damaged,” Fluttershy muttered, rubbing her wounds. “She was always like that.”

“See?” Sophisticata shrugged. “So, the situation goes like this: there’s a monster destroying the town and we’ll either have to stop it or wait for the army to do that, which is never a wise idea since they’ll probably nuke us sooner or later. This being said, we’d like to propose a cooperation, since you guys are nutty enough and you also possess information which– I see what you’re doing there, you uncultured, navel-fucked catamite!” She turned to Vinyl who immediately stopped making gestures indicating a rather brutal case of corpse desecration.

“She usually does that when someone talks too much.” Octavia smirked. “Though at least she didn’t jam her crotch in your face.”

Trixie cleared her throat. “Okay then. You want to fight fish people and we just happen to know how.” She turned to Twilight. “Tell Trixie, how those Seven Singers look like?”

Twilight showed the book to her. Trixie looked at the illustration depicting a large, hulking fish pony with something that seemed to be an oversized diaphragm and red tips of the fins. Its pale eyes were staring back at her, making her shudder. After a while, she produced a few pieces of fabric from her pockets and turned them in her fingers.

“I know!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “You’re gonna knit them to death!”

“Well, this may be effective, although horribly slow,” Octavia said. “Vinyl has a faster way to do that.” She pointed at her friend, who saluted, holding a lighter in her hand.

“I guess we’ll leave those hippies here.” Sophisticata stood up. “Against magic, fire, and our awesome personalities, those fish people don’t have a chance!”

“Yeah.” Flash nodded. “The question is, do we have a chance…”

Author's Notes:

Somewhere around this chapter, I drew Vinyl watching world burn...