I eventually started feeling more calm, ready to ease back into regular life. I thought so at least. I wanted to stop crying, and start laughing instead. I wasn't sure if I was ready for laughter yet, with how much pain I was in, but that's all I want.

The first thing that comes into my mind while Stitches checks out my I.V. is my family. Pearl said she wrote to them, using the return address on the letter they had sent me so long ago. She felt like it was the right thing to do.

My mother had come with Dale and Picker as soon as they could. Pearl hasn't told me what exactly she told them, but they came. When everypony was in the same room, my family wouldn't converse with my friends. Pearl tried, and my mother would politely respond, but there was a steady tension.

"How do you like my family?" I ask Stitches calmly.

He glances at me, pauses. "They're nice," he responds.

"What's wrong with them?" I insist, certain that he's just being nice.

He shrugs, "I dunno... You never told me much about them, except your dad. They just never seemed like ponies worth my trouble. No offense."

I smile, understanding. "They take some getting used to." I wasn't even sure I wanted them to come back, but I knew they'd be here in the morning. Bolden was at my apartment, after being evicted from the hotel for no longer being employed there. He should be cleaning up, or maybe still unpacking. I have no idea how much stuff he has. He'd be back in the morning, too.

Pearl, Patches, and Stitches had to get to the cafe, business as usual. I wasn't sure I could handle being in the same room as my family and Bolden. He knew even less about them as Stitches. He hasn't been rude to them, preferring to pay more attention to me than them, but there's certainly some awkwardness. Maybe he's just uncomfortable being around them and referring to me as his boyfriend. I was a little uneasy when he said it, too. He saw it on my face, I'm certain. I wonder how he'll react when I tell him I have a serious decision to make.

I wonder what Noh will say. He'll probably be here in the morning as well. Will I be able to handle their expectancies? (Expectations?) Will I be able to live with disappointing the pony I don't choose?

"I know you said you didn't want my opinion," Stitches interrupts my thoughts, "but I have to say something. I don't know Bolden, and I know you only just met him, too. I've seen the way you lean on Noguki, we all have. That looked like love."

I look away. I said I didn't want his opinion because I knew it wouldn't make the choice any easier. "You think I should choose Noh?"

"Well...no. Honestly, I think you should wait." I barely keep myself from glaring at him, confused. I just think I'd better not look into his eyes yet. "I know how long you've gone without, I get that. I just, don't know if you're well enough, mentally, to make this kind of decision. Not mentally, sorry. Emotionally. Just, give it time, get to know them both a little better. Help Noh to forgive himself. More than anything, I don't want you to choose one over the other out of pity."

I'm looking at the floor thoughtfully. He has a good point. I should put more thought into it than who I want more, or who deserves it more. I deserve to be happy, right? So why don't I give it a little time, to know who truly makes me happy?

What if taking time only makes it harder? What if they compete with each other for my affection? How despairingly perfect would that be? A dramatic performance of competition would tie together this saga in a perfect cliche, wouldn't it?

"What if I can't choose?"

I hadn't meant to ask out loud, but I did. "Then we move on, I guess."

What kind of answer is that? "How can we move on? How are we ever going to move on from this? This hell I've put you all through. And now I have the nuisance of a decision based on who I love more?" I'm trying not to raise my voice, but I'm also trying not to cry. My head hurts...

"You don't love anyone more," he explains. I remain silent. Confused, but silent. He continues, "The fact that you're having such a hard time choosing proves that you don't love either one more than the other, and you might never... From what I can tell, you even love me just as much."

"Then how am I supposed to choose?"

He shrugs, "I don't know, trust?"

I'm breathing so hard I don't know if I can speak, even if something comes to mind.

"All I'm saying is, you're desperate. But, that doesn't mean you're misguided."

Wait, what?

"You really want someone you can call your boyfriend, but just think about what everypony's done for you. You've cried in Noh's lap. You probably cried in Bolden's, too, based on how he acts around you, but they're both friendly. They're both the safety you're looking for."

The first thing that comes to my mind is "so are you." I don't say it though. I know he's off the table.

He's silent for a moment, looking at the floor like I was; deep in thought. Then he straightens up. "I just, want you to be happy."

He kisses my forehead then, before turning to leave.

Dammit.