Take a breath.

Wait... who?

I'm sorry it's come to this, truly. I'm also sorry, but I have to ask, who's fault was it?

Whose fault was what? Who are you?

Remember.

I remember.

Take a breath. I want you to tell me who's fault it was.

It was my fault. I wasn't able to handle what I had been told, all the new information, contradicting everything I knew.

It couldn't have been your fault. Take a breath. What happened?

He... his sister came to me.

What did she say?

I don't remember... She told me how he felt.

She told me about him, his feelings. He was having trouble recently...

Take a breath. Remember.

I remember.

Noh... his sister came to me. She told me how important I was to him. She told me that I could have been more important to him than he was to me. He had been through a break-up...

Take a breath. Who did he break up with?

...I don't remember...

There was no name. He broke up with a stallion.

Noh... he's gay?

Remember.

I never even spoke to him about it. How could I have only assumed he was straight?

You're justified. He was cut-off, distant from his feelings.

Kabuki told me that. She said that Noh had been through a break-up, that he feared falling in love again. But he was so strong when he was around me.

He needed you to remind him the comfort of love.

He needed me? I... I'm tired of ponies needing me. I need him, or... who?

Take a breath.

Why do you keep saying that?

Who do you need?

I don't know. Who is there?

There are many. You're lucky to have so many who care for you.
Wait... no... They don't need to care for me. I...

Take a breath. Understand that you do. There are needs to be met, both by you and those you are with. You cannot fulfill all these needs yourself.

I just want to be with one... who do I love?

Love is present within all relationships. Who do you love?

Who...? Well, I don't know. Who is there?

You have good friends. What are their names?

Pearl... Patches... Stitches... Noguki...

Do you love them?
I guess I do.

Take a breath. Who else?

Bolden...

You told him.

I told him I love him. I barely know him.

You're desperate. It's okay because you haven't known true love for some time. But you have to choose.

Between whom...? Who?

There are three, that you know.

Bolden, Noguki... Stitches?

Take a breath. Who was the first?

Was it Stitches? Before that... Was it Loaf? Loaf was the first pony I felt true love toward. Where is he?

He is with me. Would you like to speak with him?

I can't. I want to, but if I do I'll only miss him more when I leave.

Take a breath.

"Timber."

Loaf...? Your voice... You haven't changed at all.

"It's okay to cry, you know. There are more ponies out there than me that you can trust to lean on when you feel lonely."

Take a breath.

I've felt your comfort, in others. I know I can find that comfort. But, who do I choose? Why do I have to?

"Understand that desperation is not misguidance. You seem to know what you're looking for, and these qualities can be found in each of your choices. Stitches is a good friend and has helped you learn a lot, in a similar way to how Churner had in that you know more about what you want. They both love you, but neither is right for you. You have the comfort and empathy of the actor, or the dedication and security of the lifeguard to choose from."

I want... I don't know who I want. I've been friends with Stitches for the longest, I know him well, but I don't know if true love is what he's after. I know Noh feels mostly the same way I do, he has comfort that I know I want, but he rushed into this.

"That leaves Bolden--"

No, his sister... She was the one who told me. Was it her fault?

Take a breath.

"Timber, listen. I love you, and I'm happy that you miss me. I want you to keep me in your heart, but still know that you can let me go. Once you find what I offered on that night you'll know. I won't forget about you because I can't. I didn't get the chance to live my life, but I can live through you. Will you live for me?"

Where are you going?

Take a breath.

"Please, live for me..."

"I will." Where are you going?

Take a breath.

Why do you keep saying that? Where did Loaf go?

If you breathe, you will live. Live for him, who is with me.

Who are you?

Take a breath. Ask again.

...Where are you.

I'm in your head.

I wake up in the hospital. Loaf is... no, Bolden is asleep on a recliner in the corner. It's so dark.

"Timber?" Stitches?

My eyes adjust a little better to the darkness. He's by my side, but it hurts to move my head. He moves from my left to the foot of my bed. He sees my eyes are open and starts crying. It's a silent cry, but he lets out a sob as he reaches my side again. Bolden stirs from his rest. Once he notices my consciousness he jumps up to join Stitches at my side.

"I heard you say something--" Stitches wimpers. "It was like... like you promised something."

I blink slowly. My head hurts... "How long--" I choke, my throat dry.

Bolden's leaning dangerously far onto the bed. My right fore hoof aches. I wince and he backs off. He moves around the bed to be by my other side. I still can't move my head.

"You've been unconscious for six days," Stitches explains. There's a silence that can only be explained by curiosity; they want to ask so many questions but keep silent to spare my feelings. They don't want me to think they're judging me, so best not to ask me why I jumped.

I find the strength to turn my head to the right. I wince the whole way. Stitches is crying, worry in his eyes. I feel a hoof stroke my mane, but it's dull, as if there's a bandage between the hoof and the back of my head. Obviously there is. Stitches is so worried. Has he been working here? He's dressed like he's on duty at this hospital. Was he assigned to my room? Or, did he ask for it? Was it coincidence, or fate? Was he even working?

I close my eyes and prepare to turn my head the other way, to the stallion petting my head. Bolden's been crying for six days. How could I do that to him? I swallow hard, then wince again. "It wasn't... your fault..." I try to tell him. My mouth is so dry, most of the words are whispered. The rest are not words, only silence.

He sobs drastically, then swallows. He grabs my head with his hoof, which doesn't hurt like I thought it might, and holds me still while he kisses my forehead. He rests his head on mine and whispers, "I'm so sorry..."

Don't be sorry, please. My lip quivers as I start to cry.

I had gotten to the theater a little late, Noh was already on stage and would be for just about the entire time. All the while I was looking forward to the night with Bolden. I wasn't excited, though. I was anxious. I didn't really know Bolden, how could I have already claimed to love him? How could he already love me?

I was stuck in thought when Noguki's sister caught me off-guard. I was unboxing bags of chips for the snack table, lost in thought as usual. She touched my shoulder, made me jump. "Woah, sorry," she backs off.

"I'm sorry," I offer.

"A lot on your mind?"

"I guess," I fool. Obviously there was, she could tell. Anypony could tell.

"I uh, wanted to ask about that bruise, on your cheek." She pointed, I turned away. I had forgotten.

My thoughts began to race again, trying to decide what I should tell her. I quickly decide, "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Ok... As long as it's not anything serious."

I thought about saying something, anything to make it really seem unimportant. Whatever it was would have to be specifically chosen to make that point. Nothing that came to mind could possibly succeed. I just smile gratefully.

"Is there something else you want to talk about?" She asked.

I hardly ever want to talk about anything, but I felt the need to tell her something. Then my attention was drawn away by an overly-exaggerated line shouted from on stage. Noh was getting some notes from the director, I don't know what about.

"He loves you, ya know..."

I feel my pupils shrink in fear. What did she just say? Maybe she didn't mean...

"He just broke up with his boyfriend a few weeks ago. Been a little down ever since. Up until he met you." How could she be telling me this? How could any of it be true? "He and I followed you into the box, and the look he gave me when you laid your head in his lap..." Shut up, please! Just shut up, I don't want to know! "He was afraid, and still might be. He's not sure if he's ready to fall in love again, but I can tell by the way he looks at you..."

I remain silent, for perhaps too long.

"You should talk to him," she suggests.

How could I possibly? "I guess.." I could never! I was with Bolden now, so if anything she said was true there was no way I could get together with Noh! But, was I seriously with Bolden? Of course I was. He cuddled with me. Told me he loves me. Hell, he even went down on me, then stopped at the exact moment I asked. He was where I felt my love. My true love. I felt love for Noh, too, just not in the same way. He's a friend, so I love him in the same way as Pearl or anyone like that.

Besides, I was pretty sure Noh's straight. Every chance he's had to portray a gay vibe has passed. He's actually been afraid of looking gay, leaning away from any kind of scenario...

Didn't she just say what he was really afraid of? Falling in love, right? What if I was really what he wanted all along? Well, I'm sorry. I'm with Bolden now.

Kabuki touched my shoulder again, startling me out of a trance. I looked away from the stage while she asked what was on my mind. I spotted a clock, reading 11:57. Any minute now Curtain Call would call everypony in to break everything down. "I have to go," I insisted. I didn't hear what she said next, I was hurrying to gather my stuff and get home. I was really afraid of talking to anyone else.

...I don't remember climbing the stairs to the roof. I was in such a stupor since I left the theater. There was so much going on all around, being the city that never sleeps. I remember, at last, looking down from the ledge. Fifteen stories down to the busy street.

Your friends will only blame themselves.

...

Or each other. Do you really want that.

"It won't matter if I'm dead."

It will matter when your memory lives on. With me. How could you spend eternity watching your friends and family dread the events leading up to and following your passing?

"It will be an eternity I deserve, after the confusion and torment I've caused to all my friends."

You haven't caused any kind of pain for any of your friends, but you will if you jump. And nobody deserves to endure the pain of loss in their loved ones for eternity.

How do I even know where I'll end up once I'm dead? How do I even know you're real, and not just a figment of my twisted mind?

What will all the city ponies think when they see your dead body? There are innocent foals down there, ponies who don't want to see your dead body. Imagine the paperwork for the police assigned to your suicide case.

...I guess you're right...

I began to turn around. At the thought of inconveniencing the city, I had given up on killing myself. Then I... lost my balance?

No, there was a newspaper. My neighbor, from down the hall. A grumpy old stallion who likes to read the paper on the roof and judge the city ponies as they scurry about below him. He must have left a copy there, on the ledge. I stepped on it. I fell backward.

The sensation of falling miraculously brought me joy. I hate to admit it, but I dare say I loved the feeling. I don't know if it was anything like flying, or even floating on a cloud. Whatever it might compare to, it had to be my favorite thing in the world. I loved the silence of mind that came with the rushing of wind in my ears. I loved the stir of colors passing my eyes, the freedom of my body giving way to gravity, and not having anything below me to stop me.

Too bad I'd only get that feeling once.