I took another, short cold shower after hearing the door close. Then I came right out here to document the situation. I wish I could just explain it to them.

They've been gone a little over an hour now and I have to wonder what they're actually doing. Cheesecake shouldn't be that hard to find in a city with everything. Unless they stopped to eat, themselves, and talk about me.

Now I'm imagining what they're talking about:

"What's wrong with Timber?"

"I don't know, he's looney."

"Positively mad, I say."

"We ought to send him to a mad-house."

"Maybe he'll straighten up there."

"Oh but he'll be so lonely."

"We'll send him a filly-friend to play with."

"Yes we'll send him a filly-friend."

I don't know who's saying what in my mind, just two muzzles chatting about how insane I am for not liking mares like I should. It’s stupid of me to think they’d actually say things like that about me, especially after what just happened.

Nothing's wrong with me, and if I'm insane it's not because I'm gay. It would have to be the fact that there's a voice in my head. I don't know where he is now, but talking to him wouldn't help anyway.

I just realized I'm not wearing my glasses. I must have left them in the bathroom when I took them off to shower. They're probably wet, or have those smudges where the chlorine water dried on them. I wonder why I'm not having any trouble writing. I only just noticed when I went back to check on my spelling of "looney" and it dawned on me that I couldn't read. Well, I know how to read, but when I went back and couldn't read it I found out I was pretty much blind. I should go get my glasses.

I got them, they are all smudged with chlorine water. Let me just go clean them.

There, all clean and back on my face. My hair's still wet. I think I'll comb it before it dries.

Nice and straight, but once it dries it won't be. I like how it looks combed back, sleek and shiny. Maybe I should start greasing it back, like some kind of gangster. Nah. It'll mostly hold its slick-back shape once it's dry, but I doubt I could pull off the greaser look, especially with glasses.

Plus I wouldn't want ponies getting the wrong idea about me. Though, I'm not sure what that idea would be in the first place, or even the second place. What do ponies think of me? Not much, I guess. Or maybe, too much?

Ugh, why don't I understand myself? Am I even a real pony? Is my whole life one big joke? Why can't I just explain how I feel?

...I just got an idea.

Sorry I'm cutting this chapter a little short, and the next one might be a little different... whatever, you were warned at the beginning how weird my life would get.

Excuse whatever I write next, their mostly notes. I just needed an extra sheet of paper to get this written down. Stitches just gave me a great idea for a novel.

It’s a prehistoric adventure story of the first pegasus and first unicorn. I just know there’s no written history about the first of these breeds. Or alicorns, come to think of it.

Anyway, I’m thinking of coming up with a pretty serious lore involving an ancient god-figure that probably never actually existed. Maybe I’ll make that character the first alicorn. First two alicorns? Well, these two have their earth ponies and the whole world and everything, but figure they won’t really be around forever. They decide to create more ponies in different forms, or maybe give birth to them? Maybe it’ll be more like Pegasus and Unicorn are just, born. They’re born, suddenly alive, and the already-existing world of earth ponies has no idea how to handle them. Should they be related? Should they even know each other right away? Or any time soon for that matter? I’m thinking they’ll either grow up together, or grow up separate, then meet each other. Should they fall in love? No, I don’t think so. I might add a little romance, maybe. Just to spice things up. I don’t want it getting too serious though because… Well, just because.

Oh, and I’ve named them Pegasus and Unicorn respectively. I’m sure ponies will understand which is which.

So the two get together, or grow up together, when one of them realizes what their extra body part can do. I’m thinking of making Pegasus figure it out first. Yeah.

So, Pegasus discovers he (or she) can fly. Maybe, just watching birds, or maybe I’ll throw Pegasus off a cliff and things will just happen. After that, he meets (or goes back to) Unicorn, but the townsfolk are not pleased that he has this power of the gods, which they know little to nothing about. Pegasus and Unicorn are forced to run away and end up beginning their journey to find these ancient beings to discover what’s so special about them.

Unicorn still has no idea at this point. Well, for most of the book, actually. Unicorn will probably unlock it fighting some kind of magical monster, like a cockatrice. Yeah, that sounds good. Pegasus gets turned to stone by it, and Unicorn’s emotions cause him/her to accidentally use a spell that returns his/her friend/sibling (/lover?) back to normal.

At the end of their journey, they meet the “gods” and discover their true purpose. Which, when they discover it, seems a little underwhelming. Knowing that they were just placed on the planet to replace the gods after their time is over…

Well, I suppose that’s not really underwhelming. Pegasus can control weather, after all. And I don’t know a whole lot about unicorns, but Unicorn learns all kinds of spells and basically becomes superior. Or… maybe not. That sounds a little dramatic. Maybe I’ll write a sequel.

Author's Notes:

In which I shamelessly fill the wordcount with meaningless additives.