After lunch I'm excited to find out where Granny has planned to take me next. I'm a little down after thinking about Pearl and my father more, but I shake it off, determined to have a great day.

Granny Lester blows me away when we enter… an apartment building? I'm stunned! She really plans on getting me an apartment, to live in!

Of course, we look at a couple choices. The first is on the third floor, really big. Not my style.

The second is just as big, technically. Same square-footage, but more walls, so more rooms. I tell Granny I don't want a lot of space.

In the end we settle on a studio apartment. Half the size of the previous housings, but just enough; kitchen and living space, big enough bathroom with a showerhead that changes water-pressures with a twist, and a big window. Plus it's on a higher floor, so I get a great view of the city. I can just see Mare Liberty from here; I can't believe we walked that far already!

Granny sets up the contract and arrangement. She says I'll have to move in by the end of the month and I panic. With such a short time, I don't know if I can handle it… I'll have to tell everypony that I'm leaving. Well, everypony I care to tell. My family will be easy, but Churner and Dawnette. Well, I'm sure I can manage, they'll be happy for me, right?

Oh, and I'll write to Minty…

I've been meaning to, I have to ask her what she said in her last letter. Dad didn't give it to me, so I didn't get to read it. Mostly I just want to know why she mentioned Churner again. Suddenly I'm torn.

I don't notice the strange look Granny's giving me until it's too late. She signed on it, and we move along. "Everything all right, pal?"

Did Churner ask me? Why is Churner there? No. No, it's just Granny.

"Can we—" I can't believe I'm about to ask this, "Can we just go to the hotel? I'm not feeling so well." I look at mom and see it in her face, she knows what I'm thinking.

Granny just asks, "Was it the pizza?"

"I don't know," I respond. In a way, the pizza place holds some responsibility for my mood, being that Pearl confused my mind and my penis. Then again, it wasn’t really her fault at all. Just my wandering mind.

Right now, in the hotel, I am really confused. Does dad really think he's casting me out? Am I really going to miss Churner that much, after all I'd done to settle things? Will I ever call Pearl? Do I still want to move to Manehatten?

Granny suggests we go swimming; the hotel has a heated indoor pool. That sounds nice, I'll pick up here when we get back.

Big mistake... I need to calm down. I'm going to take a cold shower.

There was a lifeguard on deck, and we made eye contact. He smiled at me and I blushed. I didn't notice Granny watching me from the diving board until her cannonball splashes me, dowsing my face and nearly knocking off my glasses. I don't usually swim with my glasses on, but my head's all over the place.

Granny swims over and insists I tell her about the lifeguard. Her tone is the same gossip-filly high as when she spoke to Pearl at the pizza place, but her face is stern, if not, a bit scared.

Not her too.

I try to play it off, "Don't you think he's good looking?" I gesture, she looks. Luckily he's watching the other end of the pool, but I still stare too long. His cutie mark is a life-saver ring, but with rainbow colors, which I thought was strange. I still really liked it though. I snap back to Granny when she looks back to me. "What? I can tell a good-looking pony when I see one." I’m avoiding I contact.

Mom swims over then and asks what's up. The two of them have a silent conversation with their eyes, and a few head-jerks toward the lifeguard. Mom's eyes look a little sad, Granny's just look curious.

I drifted away while they "argued," and they didn't notice me leave the pool. I don't know if the lifeguard glanced at me again, but I don't care. I ran back to our room so fast a housekeeping pony yelps when I passed her, almost dropping her towels. I apologize but don't stop, my tears won't let me.

I took my cold shower and they got back calling my name. Looking back, I'm just glad Granny left the room unlocked. When I got out of the shower she hugged me, then mom joined. I didn't appreciate their damp, chlorine bodies rubbing against my clean coat.

"Don't think I don't love you," Granny pleads. She hugs me so tight I squeeze my eyes shut to keep them from popping out.

"Timber I'm so sorry," mom says, holding me not as tightly.

I push them both off and say, "It's fine. I shouldn't have been so obvious."

"What do you mean?" Granny whispers.

I look at the floor. "You weren't supposed to find out," I grumble.

I guess they don't hear me, because they both say "What?"

I force back tears, then barely keep myself from shouting, "Nopony was supposed to know!" I run back into the bathroom and lock the door. I’m being hysterical and I know it, but I can’t stop myself.

A minute or two later, mom knocks, "Timber?"

A few deep breaths and I know what to say, "Why did you come to my room last night?"

She's silent, but I know she heard me. I hear her sigh, then speak softly, "I wanted to know... wanted to know why."

I feel outraged, my tears turn red. "Why?!" I demand, "Why am I gay? Is that what you mean? Because I don't know. Seriously!" I take a deep breath. "When dad read my letter I was terrified. When you two argued about it, I didn't know what to do! I don't know why I don't... know. Why don't I like mares?!"

She doesn't answer, she couldn't possibly know if I didn't.

(Calm down, don't yell at her.)

Shut up. I know I'll never get over this, that I've likely ruined my relationship with her, just like I ruin all my relationships!

"Timber, it's okay," mom says. My head's working so hard I barely hear her.

(You're over thinking it.)

I KNOW!! JUST LIKE I ALWAYS DO!!

Did I say that out loud?

"Always do what?" Dammit. "Timber please come out."

(Come out, Timber.)

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just, open the door."

(Let the world know, you're not afraid of who you are.)

"But I am afraid. You should have said that I shouldn't be afraid, that I should trust myself..." I forget where I am for a moment, who I'm really talking to.

"You're right," my mom again. "I should have been there for you, but I just pretended everything was fine."

(Everything is fine.)

"Everything is fine." I take a deep, wavering breath.

(We just need a little time.)

"…I, just need a little time."

"Timber, please. Granny says she's sorry."

"I'm sorry, Timber. You didn't want to talk to that waitress."

"It's not about the waitress!" I yell at them, then center myself. "It's about me. Pearl is nice, pretty, and basically perfect. She's just not what I want..."

Granny calls back, "Tell us what you want." I hear mom whisper something like "he wants Churner," and Granny shushes her harshly.

I groan, "I want some time alone."

They're quiet for a while. Then they whisper between each other, and finally mom says, "Ok, we'll go get dinner. Just, be here when we get back."

I take a shaky breath, holding back more tears. "I promise."

A few more seconds of silence, then Granny asks, "Is there anything you want?"

I open my eyes and look back, as if I'll see her over my shoulder. I realize I'm holding my breath and relax. Then I respond, "Cheesecake."