As I closed in on the forest and therefore Ponyville, I decided to check on Dopple and make sure I hadn’t done any permanent damage to him. Even though I knew his wounds would heal, I wanted to make sure I hadn’t left any mental scars. I considered Dopple a friend, despite the subordinate relationship, and I felt bad about the beating I had given him the night before.

When I arrived at the cabin I walked in and called for Dopple, the same way I had for the last five hundred years, but he didn’t answer. I didn’t find any hint of where he was, Dopple usually left a note when he left the house. Deciding that he was probably in Ponyville, I set off towards the town.

I made my way into Ponyville, not bothering with a disguise. I regretted this decision as soon as I entered the town, it was pure chaos. A number of the locals had still been making their way home after work and had panicked at the sight of me walking down the street. There were cries for mercy and a few even attacked me in an attempt to buy time for the others to escape. I just ignored them and continued walking towards the library, assuming Twilight was behind the disappearance of my enforcer.

The door to the library attempted to slam open as I reached out to knock, cracking loudly against my fist from the force. Looking around the now broken door I found an embarrassed looking Spike being lectured by Twilight for breaking the door.

“Excuse me, have you two seen Best?” I asked, startling both of them.

“Jekyll! What are you doing here? Shiny said Princess Luna pardoned you, but he wouldn’t tell me what happened,” came Twilight’s lack of an answer.

“So this is Jekyll?” Spike asked, “I thought he’d be scarier.”

“Don’t get too big for your britches, boy. I eat dragons,” I replied with a fang-filled grin, before addressing Twilight, “I’m here because I’m looking for Best, have you seen him? And Luna pardoned me because she figured out that Celestia was being a bitch.”

“I haven’t, not since he threw me out of his cabin,” Twilight answered, looking shaken. Now I was getting worried. My fist lashed out and slammed sideways into the wall, “And please stop scaring Spike, you’re going to give him nightmares.”

“Jeff, we need to talk,” I said evenly. The skinless head that Jeffrey preferred to use formed out of the wall next to where my fist still sat.

“Whatcha need, hun?” the leviathan asked. Twilight screamed, Spike fainted, Jeffrey looked embarrassed, and I sighed.

“Where the hell is Dopple? And fix that damn door while you’re at it. There ya go Twilight, never say I never did anything for you,” I said. The leviathan’s demeanor soured at my question.

“He left town a few hours ago, had a bag of some delicious smelling rabbits too. That look he was wearing always makes me so sad, I’ve seen it on too many of my babies’ faces. He’s not coming back, honey,” Jeffrey said sadly.

“Horseshit, don’t fucking lie to me Jeff,” I ordered.

“I’m not, I’ve seen that same look on the face of every friend that had to move away, every husband after a divorce, every parent who left their foal,” Jeffrey replied. I heard Twilight gasp but I was barely paying attention to her, my focus was on the tendril that I had lodged in Jeffrey’s eye and the memories I was viewing through it.

“He abandoned us? Why? How? I need to talk to Tzu,” I stammered before bolting out the door and taking flight, the forgotten tendril having ripped out of Jeffrey’s head and was flopping around behind me. ‘This couldn’t be happening.’

I had no idea what was going on but I’d like to think I was taking it well, I had stopped screaming after all. But now Jekyll, who I still didn’t know anything about, had left and there was still a freaky head thing growing out of my wall. ‘And who the hay is Dopple?’

“Well, aren’t you just the cutest?” the head thing said, sounding sincere. I didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Uh, thank you?” I replied hesitantly, inwardly terrified that this monster was about to eat Spike and I.

“Oh, you’ve got nothing to fear from me dear, I’d never hurt one of my babies,” the thing said, apparently reading my mind. My fear vanished. Telepathy was a very rare spell, and I had never seen any book that described how it was cast. But now I had somepony who could teach me!

“Oh my gosh, you can read minds? Can you teach me? Please? I promise I’ll be the best student you’ve ever had and take lots of notes and study every night and everything,” I asked, making sure not to sound like I was begging.

“I’m sorry sweety, but I can’t teach you how to read minds,” the thing, no, Jekyll had called it Jeff, Jeff said.

“Please, I’ll do anything you want me to, I’ve never found anypony who knew the telepathy spell before,” I pleaded, on the verge of tears. Not even the princess had ever refused me once I had gotten to this point.

“Oh you poor thing, I can’t teach you any spells because I can’t use magic.” My world imploded. “But I can teach you how to read faces, it can be just as useful.”

“Reading faces? I’d never thought of that before,” I thought out loud. Jeff smiled, showing an uncomfortable amount of teeth.

“Oh happy day, it seems I get a pupil,” Jeff celebrated.

“I haven’t agreed yet,” I retorted.

“Yes, you have.”

“Yes, I have. How did you do that?”

“It was written on your face, just like that look of pride you wear every time little Spike looks away from you,” Jeff answered, raising further questions.

“Wait, have you been watching me since I moved in?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

“Actually it would have been when you landed in town, it’s my job to keep all my little ponies safe after all,” Jeff said. It sounded a lot less creepy when Princess Celestia said it, “But don’t worry your pretty little head about it, I know when my babies need their privacy.”

Oh Celestia, it winked at me.

I didn’t slow down as I approached the control room, I was livid and I wanted answers. As I crashed through the window at full speed and caught Tzu in a sliding chokehold, I saw all of the other occupants of the room, enforcers and ponies alike, scrambling away from me.

There were few things globally acknowledged to be scarier than me when I was pissed. A number of unconscious alterations occurred when I got truly angry in my natural form: a number of red bioluminescent lines made themselves known across my arms and torso, my claws formed on their own and grew until each claw was about two feet long, my jaw extended into an almost lupine muzzle, and my teeth lengthened and shifted until they were overlapping and interlaced. By the time I smashed through the window I looked more like a cross between a demon and a werewolf.

“Where is he?” I growled at the paralyzed Tzu.

“W-who?” the normally stoic enforcer replied. I pinned him to the wall and roared in his face, likely waking the whole castle.

“Don’t test me, Tzu, where’s Dopple?” I growled again, partially because that was my only way of communicating without shifting my form in some way.

“I don’t know, I swear.” He was terrified, but I had to be sure. I grabbed his head in my free claw and sent an army of tendrils throughout his body, searching for any indication of where Dopple had gone. I didn’t find any.

I released Tzu and slumped against the wall, my form reverting to its normal state now that my anger was giving way to despair.

“Sir, what happened?” one of the Mikes asked. They were beginning to come closer, their fear transitioning into concern. Luna and the other ponies that had been in the room were still taking shelter behind whatever they could find.

“Dopple turned traitor, as best I can tell,” I replied sadly, this devastated them. They were all brothers in their eyes, one of them betraying the rest was unheard of.

“Find him, alpha priority, notify all squads. Now, GO,” Tzu shouted, his own claws lengthening.

“No,” I called, catching them all off guard. “I don’t want HIM found, I want IT dead. I want to see ITS broken body by the end of the week, am I understood?” I ordered quietly, making them flinch at my words. The enforcers cherished anything that gave them an identity, including their pronoun of choice. Taking that away was the worst thing I could do without killing them.

“Sir? Are you sure?” Tzu asked, shocked that I would order Dopple’s execution. I had never demanded the death of one of my enforcers before.

“Yes, get it done,” I commanded, more at the room than at Tzu. The Mikes and even a few of the Gammas that were in the room flew out to deliver the new orders.

“Why?” Luna asked, stepping forward, “Does running away from home always warrant such extreme action?”

Tzu and I shared a look, “Luna what do you think we are?” I began.

“You are some form of creatures with incredible shapeshifting abilities, not dissimilar to changelings,” Luna answered simply.

“Incorrect ma’am, changelings required magic to change how others perceived their form. They were not true shapeshifters like we are,” Tzu continued.

“We don’t have magic, our shapeshifting is entirely biological. No normal creature would be able to survive such a process, much less possess the ability to begin with. The reality of the situation is that we are not fauna at all, we are giant masses of sentient virus. The most devastating virus this world has ever and will ever see,” I explained. Luna was staring at her hooves in horror, likely wondering if using one of my tendrils as a teddy bear would cost her her life.

“We enforcers are forbidden from making ourselves contagious, and lord Jekyll has never done so himself. Were such a thing to happen, the Redlight that would be released from a single careless breath would destroy this city in a matter of hours,” Tzu finished.

“Redlight is the ‘child’ virus that our bodies naturally produce, the virus we are made of is called Blacklight and it’s much deadlier. While Dopple cannot access this on his own, his blood would be ridiculously easy to weaponize,” I added.

“By the stars, this, this is more than I can process. Jekyll might I have a word in private?” Luna asked, a dazed look on her face. Tzu ushered the few ponies out of the room before I could say anything. Luna tossed a soundproofing spell at the door once it fully closed.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked, awkwardly trying to break the ice.

“You! How could you create so many of these creatures? Just you is bad enough. If this disease is as bad as you claim, we could be facing casualties in the tens of thousands. All from one of your precious enforcers going rogue,” Luna accused.

“That’s the thing, they can’t. They are genetically required to follow all directives to the letter, they don’t have a choice. I don’t understand how Dopple just up and left. Or even disobeyed me the day before, for that matter. Although I must admit that I didn’t even realize what had happened at the time,” I explained.

“And if they disobey a directive?” Luna asked.

“They can’t. It’s like breathing to them, they don’t get any other options. If I order one to die, it will drop dead on the spot. Also, it wouldn’t be tens of thousands, it would be everything unless there were some extreme quarantine actions,” I answered.

“Everything? What do you mean everything?” Luna asked skeptically.

“I mean everything, global extinction. A couple weeks if it’s Redlight, three days if it’s viral Blacklight. Yes, I’m sure, I’ve had the better part of a thousand years of being pissed at your sister to figure out the infection models,” I responded, cutting her off before she could ask her obvious next question.

“By the stars, I pray he is found quickly then. The part that gets to me the most is that I married a disease,” Luna said, a small sad smile appearing on her face. ‘I think she’s picking up on my gallows humor.’

“Just means you’re progressive, not afraid of inter-natural-kingdom relationships, or superlethal viruses,” I said jokingly.

“One final question, if you’ll indulge me. Why did you order him to be executed? From how you spoke of him before, I thought he was your friend,” Luna asked.

“I thought he was too, but trying to bring him in alive isn’t worth the risk to the rest of the populace,” I replied.

“In that, we are in agreement, it just seems rather cold hearted,” Luna said.

“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing about those rules against who you can be friends with. But I suppose you can’t build friends,” I said sadly. Luna removed the soundproofing and allowed the others back in.

“Sir, I believe we should address the gaps in our security,” Tzu said, already back to business. ‘All work and no play makes Tzu a dull boy.’

“The assassins from yesterday? Kill them all, I don’t like the idea of looking over my shoulder all the time. In fact, I want their skulls. I’ll never live down letting them stab me in the back,” I ordered.

“Their skulls?” Luna asked, a disgusted look on her face, “What could you want with their skulls?”

“Nothing, that isn’t the point. Next time they want someone killed, probably you by the way, they’ll find all of their assassins have had their heads cut off. Sends a pretty strong message.”

“That’s barbaric! Killing the entire group for the actions of just a few, and just to make a point no less. Are you sure you’re thinking clearly? This doesn’t sound like the Jekyll I have been conversing with for the past couple days,” Luna exclaimed.

“Ma’am, you are defending a group of state sanctioned serial killers,” Tzu commented, Luna balked at this.

“And that is what you will become, is that what you want?” Luna retorted.

“No, we won’t. Remember, the enforcers are my army. I’m loaning them to the crown but I’m also reserving the right to commandeer portions of them and deploy those portions as I see fit. We do not require our actions to be sanctioned by the crown, and as such any independent actions we perform are not representative of the Equestrian government nor its leaders. Furthermore, I will be sending a squad that has not been contracted to the Equestrian military on this mission. Tzu, contact the Spooks,” I explained, turning to Tzu at the end.

“I don’t remember these enforcers being on your list, what are they?” Luna asked.

“Technically they’re part of Romeo division, they’re my assassins. Each one is better than any other race can produce and further specialized for their position in the unit. They have no equal when it comes to the art of stealth,” I answered, Luna looked disappointed.

“I thought you were better than that, Jekyll. I suppose I don’t really know you at all,” came her melancholy reply.

“I will never be above using the tactics of my enemies, especially when those same methods can turn the tide of a battle. Besides, I’ve never actually used them before, they’ve just been training for the last two hundred years or so. Remember Luna, my people have nearly perfected war, and there wasn’t a notable military on my planet that didn’t have specialty units like this. It’s the mentality of killing one to save a thousand,” I explained.

“Sir, there are footsteps approaching,” Tzu interjected, “By the sound, I suspect a pegasus.”

“We can discuss this later. Let’s see who's coming to say hello, shall we?” I asked rhetorically.

“I don’t believe there is anything left to say, I don’t like this but, as you pointed out, these aren’t my soldiers,” Luna replied coldly just before a familiar guard made his way through the door.

“Sir, Princess Celestia has sent me to request a meeting between the two of you, she said it was urgent,” Lance said.

“Alright I’ll meet with Chelly, if you can answer some questions for me,” I replied.

“Sir?” Lance asked confused.

“Number one, why is it that when you’re in the same room, my memory fails me? Number two, why can’t I ever remember that you exist, when I remember everything? Number three, what are you? You don’t smell like a pony, but whatever is messing with my memory is keeping me from figuring out what you are. Tell me,” I interrogated the, now terrified, guard who was backed up against the wall.

“Jekyll, stop this at once. Threatening your own people is bad enough, but you will not treat the palace guards like this,” Luna demanded, I ignored her and advanced on Lance.

“Answer the questions or I’ll pick them from your memories. Trust me, you don’t want the latter option,” I threatened, all of the enforcers in the room were ready to pounce on my signal.

“Jekyll I’m warning you, don’t make me whaaaaah... Get me down from here!” Luna cried, catching my attention for a moment. She had been pinned to the ceiling with a web of tendrils coming from several different enforcers.

“Luna, it’s usually a bad idea to attack someone who is surrounded by bodyguards. Let her down,” I commanded, turning back to find that my target had escaped, “Damnit. Tzu, you’re on this now. Find me an answer, I don’t care how many enforcers it takes, that guard is a major threat to our security. I don’t want him in this tower either.”

“Understood, sir.”

“Today sucks, I’ll see you all later,” I commented to no one in particular before throwing myself through the broken window and into the night air. Pointedly ignoring Celestia’s request for a meeting, as Lance hadn’t answered any of my questions. With those headaches solved for now, I flew south, finally setting my sights on the leviathan-to-be that was waiting in the Everfree Forest.

As I landed in the forest, I heard the telltale rustle of a Gamma squad falling into place around me. I ignored this, they were my personal guard after all. I found the requested biomatter right where it was supposed to be and got to work. This was going to be difficult, I wouldn’t be able to use the process that resulted in the other leviathans. The others were easy, I dumped biomass in the ground, made it sentient, and gave it its orders. The leviathan itself would do the rest. This one however, would be significantly more complicated. I’d need to figure out everything from its bone structure to its method of getting around to its offensive and defensive capabilities.

I sent a particularly large tendril from my left arm into the pile of biomatter and another from my right arm flopped onto the ground a good distance away, it wasn’t a very scientific process. Now that the setup was completed, all I had to do was figure out how I wanted this leviathan to work and form it accordingly. I intended for this one to be my flagship, for lack of a better term, so it would need to be a siege engine, a siege breaker, and capable of transporting large numbers of troops in relative comfort. I searched through my memories of my time on Earth for any inspiration on how to accomplish this, finding nothing that could accomplish all of these things on the scale that I was looking for. I did however, find a few things that could work if combined. With this in mind, I set to work.

After four days of shaping and revising my newest leviathan, one of the Gammas that had been guarding me walked up with a concerned look. Making leviathans was very hard on my mind and body, so it made me a little loopy. I may have been talking to myself in languages that even I didn’t know.

“Sir, are you okay? Perhaps you should take a break,” the enforcer asked.

“It’s a big ass walking tank, I think those were called titans. That was a thing, right? Yeah, that was totally a thing. This is a titan, can’t nobody tell me different. Anyone tries, I’ll have their supposed not-titan eat them. That’ll show ‘em,” I replied to the mushroom’s question.

The enforcer, who didn’t have a clue what I was talking about or to whom, sprouted wings and took off toward Canterlot. From my perspective however, the odd badger had simply melted into the ground.

“Kay, bye,” I called to the nonexistent puddle. The next day I was forced to stop, as I had run out of biomatter. Once I had regained my faculties, I ordered the Gammas to fetch me two more hydras and inspected the work I had done so far. It was a fearsome sight, looking like a slightly flattened spider without any legs or abdomen. It had sets of eyes and ears all around its ‘thorax’ and its oversized head had a set of four mandibles, contributing to the distinctly alien look that I had settled on. The top of the leviathan was completely flat, allowing it to be used as a landing platform and so that supporting structures could be built directly into its back. There were a number of cavities inside the leviathan, some set aside as living quarters and others for equipment storage, and a number of entrances on the top and bottom of the creature.

The enforcers arrived with the hydras I had requested and I spent the next two days building the leviathan’s legs and armor before giving it its own consciousness and orders to stay put. Declaring it finished, I collapsed. After a short while, one of the enforcers emerged from the edge of the forest with a manticore in his claws. The beast was still alive when he tossed it at me, my tired tendrils greedily consumed the poor creature before it could touch the ground. Feeling better, I thanked the enforcer and took off to check on Tzu and Luna.

Upon arriving at the control room, I noticed that the broken window had been repaired. I let myself in normally this time and found an angry Luna staring me down.

“Where have you been?” she said flatly.

“Building the new leviathan,” I said, thinking this would be obvious.

“And I would know that how? I thought you had abandoned us. On the same day that Dopple abandoned you, no less. I would have thought that you would be more sensitive about these matters, especially having felt them yourself so recently,” Luna lectured.

“I’m sorry I worried you, I just needed some time to think,” I apologized, then added, “And build us a better command center.”

“But you just left your army unsupervised, what kind of commander does that?” Luna asked, still angry.

“Commander? No, that’s Tzu. I’ve delegated this entire war to him,” I replied, gesturing towards the enforcer, who nodded.

“But, but, aargh,” Luna exclaimed, storming away.

“Sir, the Spooks have completed their mission. The skulls you requested are in the usual clearing near the cabin,” Tzu informed.

“That was fast,” I said surprised, “Give them to the new leviathan, it could use the biomass.”

“You have been gone a whole week!” Luna yelled from the other side of the room, where she was furiously kicking the wall. A Mike hopped out a window, presumably to relay my order regarding the skulls.

“Oh, it makes sense now. I get a little out of it when I’m making leviathans, this was the worst one yet,” I explained sheepishly.

“I’m not done being mad at you, I’ve found these,” Luna said, a number of files appearing in her telekinetic grasp.

“What’s that?” I asked, confused.

“You lied to me. Your ‘Spooks’ have been busy,” she accused.

I took the files, opening the first one before laughing and tossing them on the table, “Nope. Tzu, tag team explanation: Spooking.”

“Yes, sir. Ma’am Spooking is a game Romeo division invented some time ago, it involves one enforcer challenging another to prevent their assassination. As we cannot be harmed through normal means, this game poses no threat to us but is rather fun for both parties,” Tzu began dutifully.

“The challenger informs the other of their intentions and if accepted, and it always is, the hunt is on. It lasts for one week, if the challenger cannot inflict what would be a mortal wound in that time they lose,” I continued.

“The ‘prey’ may recruit others to act as guards or trust in their own situational awareness, the ‘hunter’ must act alone. The group known as the Spooks are actually just the Romeos with the highest scores in the game, rather than a dedicated unit. Though they may as well be, they have held their positions for quite some time now,” Tzu finished. Luna was baffled by this.

“You hunt each other? As a game?” Luna confirmed.

“Can you think of anything that would be more difficult?” I countered, already knowing her answer.

“No, I can’t. But why? Doesn’t this cause some sort of resentment between enforcers?”

“Oh no, it’s all in good fun. Even I’ve been challenged a few times, that’s actually how the Spooks got started. One of them got me. You see, we don’t need to hunt your ponies when we can hunt each other constantly,” I answered with a smile, I’d noticed one of the Mikes creeping up behind Tzu.

“So your enforcers are not responsible for these deaths?” Luna asked in confirmation. Tzu spun on the spot and put a claw through the Mike’s head. I laughed at Tzu’s response to the obvious strategy.

“Good show, but no they’re not,” I replied, still laughing. Though now I was laughing at the look on the Mike’s face, which was still attached to Tzu’s claw. Luna was shocked by the actions of the two enforcers.

“I thought you said the Romeos were the ones who played this strange game?” Luna asked.

“No ma’am, the Romeos invented it and they are the best at it, but Spooking is played by all divisions,” Tzu replied, sinking his claw into the stone floor and ignoring the pleas of the Mike for release.

“How long are you going to keep him there?” I asked.

“Her actually, I identify as female,” the Mike corrected.

“That’s unusual, but my question still stands,” I commented. As the enforcers were genderless, they could choose whatever pronouns they wanted. The vast majority chose male pronouns, but it wasn’t unheard of for one to choose female ones.

“Keep who, where, sir?” Tzu asked, indulging in Spook shaming. The act of leaving a beaten hunter in a compromising position to highlight how badly they had failed, usually ignoring their existence while doing so.

“Let her go, Tzu. You know I don’t approve of Spook shaming, even if that was a terrible attempt,” I ordered. Tzu released the Mike immediately, who threw me a grateful smile before returning to her previous position.

“Do things always get more interesting when you enter a room?” Luna asked, “The past week was remarkably quiet.”

“Seems that way, couldn’t tell you why though,” I replied cheerfully, “What’s left on the agenda?”

“Nothing, everything has been accounted for and the enforcers are mobilized. All that’s left is to correct any issues that arise and wait,” Tzu answered.

“In that case, want to check out the new leviathan?” I asked Luna.

“I’ve been wondering about that. Didn’t you say that you didn’t want your enforcers in combat?” Luna inquired.

“And in a perfect world they won’t be, but I have no doubts that we will be relying on them heavily. Both the griffons and the minotaurs could take Equestria on their own. But together, and with the support of their allies, we don’t stand a chance without deploying the enforcers,” I responded.

“Then why am I sending my ponies to die?” Luna demanded.

“For the reasons I told you before. Solely using an army of enforcers would not do you any favors, but having them act primarily in a support role isn’t nearly as bad. Don’t get me wrong, if it’s a choice between allowing civilians to die and taking action, they will always fight,” I countered.

“And my soldiers?”

“Will have the best fortifications possible to fight from, this war will be a series of sieges. Most invasions that failed on Earth failed because it became too expensive to continue, I aim to manufacture the same conditions. The new leviathan is meant to act as our new command center as well as a troop carrying war machine in the event of an emergency,” I explained.

“I suppose I should inspect it then, you also promised to introduce me to the one you call Jeffrey,” Luna responded. We made our way to the balcony and took flight toward Ponyville.

“You’re going to get a kick out of this,” I said as we flew.

“What?” Luna asked.

“You know Twilight Sparkle? Your sister’s prized student?” I asked, a smirk forming.

“Yes, what of her?” Luna inquired, confused.

“That tree she lives in is actually Jeffrey, he literally comes out of the walls when you call him,” I answered.

“That is a terrifying thought, it sounds like something out of a horror novel,” Luna commented as we closed in on the town. We landed in front of the library to find the other residents of the town were gathered nearby, talking amongst themselves about who and what Twilight had been talking to for the past week. I made my way inside the library without knocking to find a crazed looking Twilight trying to interpret the emotions of a familiar skinless head. Luna remained outside to reassure the townsponies that everything was under control.

“Twilight! Go take a shower and go to sleep. Jeffrey, don’t let her do shit like this to herself,” I barked, startling both of them.

“But I still have so much to learn about reading faces! Who could sleep at a time like this?” Twilight raved at a spot somewhere to my right.

“You will take a shower or I will bathe you myself,” I threatened.

“No, I have to be the best student I can be. I promised Jeff, and the princess says you always have to keep your promises,” Twilight responded foolishly. What followed was an embarrassing series of events involving me carrying the screaming unicorn upstairs and forcibly scrubbing the days worth of filth out of her coat.

“What did we learn?” I asked the struggling unicorn as I carried her to her bed.

“You’re a big meany!” Twilight cried as she kicked me in the face repeatedly.

“No, we learned that I don’t make empty threats and that you should listen to me,” I corrected patronizingly.

“Hmph,” Twilight responded, falling limp as she realized that she wasn’t even slowing me down. I placed her on her bed and pulled the blankets over her, tucking her in as I had Freydis so many years ago. She was asleep in seconds. I made my way back downstairs to confront Jeffrey about his irresponsible behavior.

“The fuck Jeff?” I asked once I was in the main room.

“I’m sorry hun, she insisted on continuing. I’ve been trying to get her to sleep for ages,” Jeffrey said apologetically. Luna finally entered the library, muttering about the building being haunted. She took one look at Jeffrey and screamed.

“Quiet, you’ll wake up Twilight,” Jeffrey and I said in unison.

“What?” Luna’s fear was replaced with confusion.

“I just got her to bed, by force I might add,” I said with a glare toward Jeffrey, “Something you are perfectly capable of, by the way.”

“I couldn’t do that to one of my babies,” the leviathan replied, offended.

“Tough. If she goes bat-shit again, that’s exactly what you are going to do,” I ordered, considering the matter closed.

“But what about my other babies? Should I force them to bed too,” Jeffrey asked angrily. I considered the question for a moment, we were living in the open now after all.

“If they are adults and mentally sound, then no. If you are talking about children, ask their parents if they would like some help around the house. Preferably without causing a panic, and then slowly integrate into the family,” I replied, hoping the town wouldn’t be in flames the next time I visited.

“Huh, I actually like those orders hun. I get to be closer to my babies now!” Jeffrey said excitedly. Luna appeared to have mixed feelings on the matter.

“But what about their privacy?” she asked with a hard look towards Jeffrey.

“Jeff,” I said, passing the question to the leviathan.

“Dear, I know when my babies need their privacy. I’m here to protect them, not peep on them,” Jeffrey replied in his usual way.

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Luna commented, I understood completely.

“Jeff isn’t very good with words, but he is sincere about protecting them without being intrusive,” I added before wondering out loud, “Maybe if we introduced him to the town, they’d react better?”

“That’s quite a gambit you’re proposing, Jekyll,” Luna stated.

“I like the idea,” Jeff said, voicing his opinion. Two against one.

Luna followed me outside, fortunately the townsponies were still grouped on the other side of the square. I called them over, claiming there was nothing to be afraid of. They waited for Luna to agree before coming any closer.

“Alright,” I began, “I know you’ve all been wondering what Twilight has been doing for the past couple days.”

“She’s been hanging out with some kind of horrid monster,” Rarity cried.

“Sort of. You see, this town was founded in the ‘shadow’ of my hunting grounds in the Everfree. I just sort of became its protector. To aid in this, I created a creature whose sole purpose was to protect the town and all of you. That creature is what Twilight has been talking to for the past couple days,” I explained.

“And where is this ‘creature’ now?” Rainbow asked, leaning against a nearby tree. I gestured at the whole town in a sweeping motion.

“Mostly underground, but it has slowly replaced some of the buildings and decorative plants with itself. The library was never actually a tree, it’s always been the leviathan,” I continued. They were starting to look nervous. Rainbow jumped away from the tree.

“Why? What’s this varmint been doin’?” AJ called from the rear of the crowd. There were concerned mutterings throughout the ponies.

“Ever noticed a foal just miss a table when dropped, or not be hurt when they hit the ground?” I asked in lieu of an answer. Many faces turned to shock.

“Really? Then why’s it been messing with Twilight?” Spike asked, maneuvering to the front of the crowd.

“It’s the other way around, Twilight has been pestering Jeff. He has a bit of an issue saying ‘no,’” I responded.

“I believe you,” Spike said simply before walking into the library, presumably to go to sleep. Poor little guy looked exhausted.

“So why are you telling us all this?” Rainbow asked, now hovering.

“Well, I’ve ordered Jeff to make Twilight go to bed when she decides to lose her damn mind. And it came up that he could help out around the town if you lot want him to. Jeff, show yourself. And don’t be creepy.” A vaguely pony shaped figure grew out of the side of the library, it actually had skin for once too. The locals took a step away from the new arrival, probably because it was covered in eyes and connected to the outer wall of the library.

“I believe Jekyll told you not to be creepy,” Luna commented.

“Is this creepy? I’m so sorry dearies,” Jeffrey replied, all but two of the eyes disappearing, “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“This don’t look like what Twi was talkin’ to,” AJ said as she walked up to inspect the creature before her. Rainbow approached as well, not wanting to be outdone by her ‘rival.’

“I’m a shapeshifter, sweety,” Jeffrey replied easily.

“Do you like parties?” Pinkie asked, appearing out of nowhere. ‘Pinkie’s gonna Pinkie.’

“I haven’t missed a single one you’ve thrown, dear,” Jeffrey responded happily, “In fact, I’ve been providing the music.”

This put all of them at ease, for some reason, so Luna and I began walking towards the forest. Jeffrey could handle things from here, and I was getting bored. We took flight once we passed the last houses to skip the long walk through the forest itself, arriving at the old castle shortly after. What we found there was not what anyone was expecting.

“The fuck?” I asked the universe.

“Did you know about this?” Luna asked, just as confused.

“Hell no, I don’t even know how to feel about this,” I replied honestly.

“Are we in danger? It does not appear mentally stable.” Luna’s confusion was turning into fear.

“No, a creature like this is defined by its size. It’s too slow to hit anything small and fast, like us, but
it also has nothing to fear from anything that small. Well, except me,” I answered.

“And why is that?” Luna asked, indignant at not being included in the exception.

“Because I put it together, therefore I can take it apart,” I responded before turning my attention to the leviathan, “Yo, why the fuck are you covered in zebra skulls?”

“My mission is to break the enemy, wearing their dead shall break their spirits,” the leviathan thundered.

“Dude, turn it down a notch,” I ordered, picking at one of my ears. I noticed Luna doing the same.

“My apologies, I do not know how to modulate my voice,” the leviathan apologized.

“I meant the crazy, I don’t need you going full ‘Abaddon’ on me,” I corrected.

“Is that my name?” the leviathan asked.

“Trust me bro, you don’t want to be associated with ‘Failbaddon the armless,’” I answered.

“I do not possess arms,” the giant creature pointed out, I was forced to admit that it was right.

“Okay, you’re Abaddon now. Maybe you can make the name mean something,” I replied, choking back a laugh.

“Jay, what just happened?” Luna asked, not having understood what I was talking about.

“Our flagship leviathan has fallen to Chaos,” I said, breaking into a laugh.

“By the stars! We must flee, I need to warn the town,” Luna responded, taking flight in panic.

“Calm down, that was a joke,” I said, grabbing her leg to prevent her from flying away.

“Do not joke of such things, you did not live through Discord’s reign,” Luna chastised.

“What ever happened to him?” I asked, distracted by Luna’s comment.

“The Elements of Harmony turned him to stone, he sits in the palace gardens as a decoration now,” Luna replied. I was horrified.

“Are you serious? Luna, I can overpower the Elements when they try to do the same thing to me. It barely fazes me, Canterlot is in serious danger,” I said, running towards Abaddon.

“Jekyll, he has been in that state for several thousand years. I doubt he would act now, even if he could,” Luna responded, following after me. We took flight to reach the titanic form of Abaddon.

“Even if I’m wrong, Tzu will need to factor Abaddon into his plans and move everything here,” I said as we landed on Abaddon’s back, just behind his head.

“A fair point, what are you thinking?” Luna asked.

“I designed Abaddon for a multitude of actions, most of them are command and control related, however. His back is designed to have additional structures built directly into it,” I explained.

“Won’t that hurt?” Luna asked, showing concern for the city block sized creature.

“No ma’am, I’ll simply move the material around the foundation,” an insectoid head said, making Luna jump and causing me to raise an eyebrow. Abaddon at least opted to add a humanoid torso to go along with the head that had sprouted from the ground, “Oh, it seems I can control the volume of this head.”

“You know what, I like that. Don’t worry about the volume of your main head, it’ll be useful during battles. But for now, head north until you can see a city on the side of a mountain, that’s our destination,” I ordered.

“Understood,” Abaddon replied simply, setting off immediately. The ride was even smoother than I had been anticipating. I decided to give Luna a tour of the internal structures of the leviathan, showing her the various rooms inside the creature and how the ‘doors’ would only open for authorized individuals.

“They’re mouths. I feel like I’m being eaten repeatedly. Jekyll, anypony stationed here will hate this,” Luna pointed out, I hadn’t thought about that.

“Ma’am, I have limited shapeshifting capabilities. If you would like, I can adjust the appearance of the doors to fit your liking,” Abaddon said before I could suggest an answer.

“Not a bad idea Abaddon,” I commented, ”Luna, why don’t you work with him to make this place more friendly?”

“If you could make the doors look like wood, it would be a good start. And the red lights will need to go, white or yellow would be much better. The walls make me feel like I’m in something’s stomach, sharp corners and a white or light gray color will work much better,” Luna listed, each of her recommendations taking form as she said them.

“It looks like a real bunker now,” I commented, inspecting one of the walls, “Abaddon, keep the red lights but only use them as a warning system.”

“Understood, we are nearly at our destination,” Abaddon replied. Luna and I returned to Abaddon’s back to watch our approach. Luna opted to stand just behind Abaddon’s main head and watch the scenery pass by. I walked up to stand next to her.

“Never thought you’d ride a giant home, eh?” I asked.

“Understatement of my life,” Luna replied, “Jay, what are we doing?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I was rescued from the Nightmare less than two weeks ago, since then I have had my first drink, my first kiss, gotten married, apparently lost my virginity, and now I’m riding a titan to continue preparing for war. And on top of that, I can’t remember half of those things!” Luna exclaimed.

“I know what you mean, I was there for all of those too. I’m still kind of confused about that fourth one, I don’t exactly have the equipment,” I said, gesturing to my lack of reproductive organs.

“Shapeshifter,” Luna commented dryly.

“You’re missing the point. Being made of Blacklight, I’m asexual. I don’t have any drive, even while drunk. I don’t get how it could have happened,” I explained.

“I think that means I must have pressured you. You haven’t denied me anything yet, so I think it makes sense,” Luna responded, deep in thought.

“I wonder if I was any good,” I said before being punted off Abaddon’s back. I flew back to my previous position, howling with laughter, “Madness? This. Is. ABADDON!”

“I believe it is both,” Luna said, predictably missing the reference.

“I don’t understand,” Abaddon said, not having any reference for what we were talking about or why Luna had attacked me.

“We got drunk a while back and woke up married, it’s kind of a secret,” I summarized.

“What is drunk?” Abaddon asked.

“It’s when you’ve had too much alcohol and make bad decisions,” Luna answered curtly.

“Why would you do something like that?” Abaddon pressed further.

“Because it feels great at the time, and the results can be hilarious later,” I responded.

“To some,” Luna added.

“How much alcohol would it take to get me drunk?” Abaddon inquired, he was unusually curious for a leviathan.

“All of it, maybe more,” I answered, internally wondering what havoc the leviathan would cause.

“I see, so does that make you my parents?” the leviathan asked, causing both Luna and I to choke on our next words. I recovered first and answered.

“Yes? At least I am,” I said, unsure how to actually answer Abaddon’s question.

“If you got divorced, who would I live with?” Abaddon continued.

“How do you know the word ‘divorced’ but not ‘drunk?’” I countered.

“I don’t know,” Abaddon responded.

“Abaddon, you are the size of a small town. You would obviously live with me,” Luna said, finding her voice and sense of humor.

“Bullshit, step-mom. He’s my flesh and blood, he should live with me,” I rebuked.

“I can get him into a better school,” Luna argued.

“You couldn’t get him into ANY school, I can teach him everything he could want to know,” I shot back.

“Like the best ways to decorate himself with skulls?” Luna said pointedly.

“You’d paint him pink,” I accused.

“I would never, though it would be better than this dreary black color you’ve made him,” Luna replied.

“That’s racist!” I shouted.

“What?” Luna asked, confused.

“Skin color is a big deal on Earth, for some reason,” Abaddon answered.

“How the fuck do you know that?” I asked Abaddon.

“Now you’re swearing at our child,” Luna accused.

“You’re abusive,” I countered.

She slapped me before arguing, “I am not!”

I broke first, collapsing in fits of laughter. Luna wasn’t far behind, landing next to me. Then the screaming started. Luna and I shot to our feet to see what was happening, we had been so wrapped up in our fake argument that we hadn’t noticed Abaddon climbing the mountain. Now his footsteps had woken the citizens, who had taken one look at the giant closing in on their homes and panicked.

“Fear not citizens, I have come to protect you!” Abaddon thundered, any citizens that weren’t awake before definitely were now.

“I shall handle this,” Luna said taking flight. After a moment the screaming quieted a bit, enough for me to hear shouts that ‘the end was nigh.’

“Don’t take it personally, they react like this to loads of stuff. They’ll get over it in a couple hours,” I told Abaddon, noticing a number of dark shapes fly out of the eastern tower and close on my position. Tzu was the first to land.

“Sir, this is more than I was expecting,” Tzu commented, looking around.

“Tzu this is Abaddon, Abaddon this is Tzu. You two are going to be working together for the foreseeable future. Play nice,” I said, introducing the new leviathan.

“Understood,” they chimed and began to discuss how to best utilize Abaddon in the coming war. I, however, took flight in search of Luna.

I found her in our old control room, several Mikes were already taking everything to the new war room that was deep within Abaddon’s body. I was hesitant to call the room I was standing in a war room because it wouldn’t hold up to a minor battle, the tower would be one of the first structures to fall. However, were the same room located under Abaddon’s six inch thick scales and protected by his razor sharp tusks, I would have no problem describing it as a war room.

“You okay?” I asked, she seemed sad for some reason.

“Yeah,” she sighed, “I just feel like everything is moving so fast, all the time.”

“I understand, but it should all calm down now,” I said in an attempt to comfort her.

“You really think so?” Luna asked hopefully.

“Yeah, I do. Tzu’s got this, we can take a backseat for a while and just relax,” I replied.

“Relax. I barely know the word,” Luna spat.

“When was the last time you took a vacation?” I asked, concerned.

“Never! This stupid crown has chained me to these stupid responsibilities ever since Tia and I defeated Discord. Before that, my life revolved around learning to rule and training to beat that damnable creature,” Luna sobbed, seizing her crown in her telekinesis and throwing it across the room. It bent upon striking the wall.

“Okay, let’s get you to bed. I’ll handle everything and tomorrow we can go to the beach, maybe even stay there for a few days,” I said.

“But what about Tia?” Luna asked.

“Fuck Chelly, who gives a shit what she wants,” I replied, leading Luna out of the room and towards her chambers.

“I do,” a familiar voice said. Celestia stepped out of a nearby hallway into our path. I continued leading Luna towards her room, forcing Celestia to walk with us if she wanted to talk.

“Good morning, sister,” Luna said robotically.

“Good morning Lulu, what was that about not caring what I want?” Celestia asked.

“I’m taking Luna on her first vacation, any objections?” I countered darkly.

“But what of her duties? She’s installed herself as the head of our military. Without my approval, I might add,” Celestia shot back.

“Maybe if you hadn’t started this war I wouldn’t have to,” Luna snapped.

“For what, a few empty threats? They’d never kill me, they need me to keep the sun moving,” Celestia replied smugly.

“No, they don’t. They need an alicorn. Luna is perfectly capable of moving the sun, just like how you were able to move the moon while she was gone,” I said, shattering Celestia’s bravado.

“I hadn’t thought of that,” Celestia said simply, true terror on her face as she realized the position she was in.

“That sound you heard earlier was your hubris knocking on the door, I might add,” I spat. Celestia stopped moving altogether. Then without warning, she sprinted away, one wing coming loose and dragging behind her.

“That was a bit harsh,” Luna commented.

“Why the hell are we protecting her again?” I asked.

“Because when considering our options, it is the least undesirable,” Luna answered, as though it was obvious.

“For you perhaps. How the hell did I end up protecting ‘Nice Hitler?’” I asked, realizing what that meant as I said it, “But that means I’m fighting for the Nazis and I don’t like this metaphor anymore.”

“What’s a Nazi?” Luna asked.

“Everything wrong with my original species. They were good people who got swept up in a twisted way of thinking, somewhere around ten million innocent people died before the rest of the planet beat them into oblivion. Hitler was the name of their leader, coward offed himself before he could be brought to justice,” I explained, “And that isn’t counting the casualties of the war against them.”

“That’s horrible! Why would your people do that to each other?” Luna asked, shocked.

“Imagine the gryphons during their most warlike time. Now magnify that a hundred times, now give them weapons that can kill millions in an instant. You are now imagining a group of humans. We have never known world peace, that’s why I fight so hard to maintain it here,” I answered.

“I can see why. After living like that, Equestria must feel like a breath of fresh air,” Luna replied.

“I didn’t live in those kinds of conditions, I was lucky enough to be born in America. Nobody messes with America, everyone who has tried throughout history has gotten stomped. Biggest kid on the playground, you know?” I said, causing Luna to nod in understanding.

“So your criticism is out of sympathy for others, then?” Luna asked, confirming what she already knew.

“Yes, but we should be talking about the here and now. Has Tzu gotten the training program ready?” I asked, shifting the conversation to more important topics.

“They have already been implemented, the enforcers you sent to help have been instrumental in making sure the new soldiers are ready for any opponent. I don’t know how we could have done this without them,” Luna praised, though I thought she was giving the enforcers too much credit, it took a lot of dedication and courage for a pony to stand up against one of the other races.

“You should give your soldiers more credit,” I advised, “How has your training been going?”

“I haven’t started yet,” Luna admitted, her head low.

“Damnit Lu, if you’re going to fight next to your people, you’re going to have to learn how. You aren’t going to win this war by slacking off,” I snapped.

“I know, but I’ve been busy working with Tzu,” Luna countered weakly.

“All I’m hearing are excuses, training to fight is part of preparing for war. And you need to trust your generals to make the right decisions, micromanaging them will only hurt you in the long run. You do know that we’re going to be training on the beach now?” I lectured, if Luna’s head dropped any lower it would be dragging on the floor.

“There goes my vacation,” she said sadly.

“Nah, it’ll only be a couple hours each day. We’ll have the whole rest of the day for you to get a tan,” I joked, we had arrived at Luna’s bedroom. The guards quickly searched the room before following us inside.

“Although, if you agreed not to fight they would probably stop targeting you,” I suggested.

“Out of the question, I will not hide while my ponies are fighting and dying,” Luna declared.

“I expected no less,” I said with pride before turning to one of the disguised enforcers, “Take a message to Tzu. I want a Mike sent to every world leader, make sure they know that any targeted action against Luna outside of battle will result in the extinction of the offending species. Tell them to take a look at the Zebras’ assassins if they think I’m joking. And have a squad of Gammas watch over the statue of Discord in the gardens. If it moves, kill it.”

The enforcer took off through the nearest window, another walked over and closed it behind him. Neither spoke.

“Is it strange that I find that comforting?” Luna asked as she climbed into bed, “Maybe it has something to do with having such a dedicated protector.”

“Great, I’m just a trumped up bodyguard,” I joked as I took my normal seat. Luna tossed and turned for several minutes before looking at me and grumbling about not being able to sleep. I extended a tendril in her direction as a joke, but she accepted it after complaining about the indignity of needing help to get to sleep.

We stayed like this for a couple hours before Luna began to stir, beginning to thrash in her sleep as she was attacked by a nightmare. I sent another tendril to wrap around her shoulders and she calmed back down. A few minutes later, however, her eyes fluttered open.

“Jay?” She asked softly.

“Yes, Luna?”

“Would you lay with me? I’ve been having some truly dreadful nightmares this past week,” She asked even softer than before, catching me off guard.

“Of course,” I said, turning to one of the enforcers, “Reinforce the bed, it won’t do for it to break under my weight and tell Tzu to make it a permanent thing tomorrow.”

I climbed into the bed after the enforcer scurried underneath and had a moment to shape himself to the task of holding up the bed. The bed still sagged toward my side, so I shuffled toward the center and waited for the enforcer to level it out. Meanwhile, Luna had been pulled into my side by a combination of gravity and the pair of tendrils that she was already wrapped up in, though she didn’t complain as I replaced the tendrils with an arm. We remained like that the rest of the day. Luna slept peacefully with her head resting on my chest, my right arm holding her protectively. My eyes never stopped scanning the room. I had decided that Luna was Equestria’s best chance for a lasting peace, one that could span millennia, and I was not going to let anything happen to her.

Luna actually overslept, likely for the first time in her life. I watched the sun fall and the moon rise from my position on the bed. Celestia attempted to barge in shortly after only to be silenced by one of the enforcers, who launched a glob of biomass onto her muzzle. I beckoned her over with my free arm before she could force the biomass off her face.

“I’ll take this off, but I need you to be quiet. Luna hasn’t been sleeping well for a while now, this was the only way she could get to sleep today,” I exaggerated, Celestia’s eyes widened and she nodded her understanding. I removed the biomass allowing her to speak.

“I didn’t realize it was this bad,” Celestia whispered.

“I think it’s just aftershocks left over from Nightmare Moon, but the assassination attempts are probably affecting her as well. She’s been putting on a brave face, but needing me to hold her while she sleeps speaks volumes,” I continued, my voice barely audible.

“I’m not as cold-hearted as you think. If my sister needs you like this, I won’t bother you about it. You also have my blessing for your little vacation, I can manage the army in her absence,” Celestia said, giving me pause.

“I’ve got that covered. If you want to help, talk to Tzu. Any red-eyed guard can direct you to him, he’s my best strategist,” I suggested.

“Alright, I’ll see you both when you get back,” Celestia said as she quietly backed away and left, one of the guards gently closing the door behind her. Luna didn’t wake up until almost dawn, nearly a full day after falling asleep.

“Hey sleepyhead, I was starting to think you’d died,” I joked as Luna blinked the sleep out of her eyes.

“Uhhh, what time is it?” Luna asked groggily.

“Almost dawn, you’ve been asleep for almost a whole day. Seemed like you needed it, and Chelly wasn’t too mad either,” I informed her, she shot awake.

“Tia saw us? Oh, no. What are we going to do?” Luna asked in a mild panic.

“About what, you being plagued by nightmares left over from being the embodiment of said nightmares and a good friend helping you sleep?” I replied.

“You told her that? What did she say?” Luna asked, surprised.

“She said that she understood and wouldn’t bug us. She also endorsed our vacation, not that we needed her approval,” I answered, it occurred to me that Luna was still nestled under my arm and didn’t look like she was about to get up.

“That’s a relief. Have you been laying like that all day?” Luna asked, noticing that I was in the same position as when she had fallen asleep.

“This is nothing. I once went three months without moving, right in the middle of Sombra’s courtroom, just to prove a point. By the end he was using me as a coat rack,” I said, chuckling at the pleasant memory.

“That would have been quite a sight, I imagine you made yourself as inconvenient as possible?” Luna guessed.

“Oh yeah, right in front of his throne. After a few weeks, he got mad and dragged the thing off to the side by himself,” I said, causing Luna to laugh and wedge herself further against my chest.

“Did he ever move it back?” she asked, still smiling.

“No, he never did. Claimed that he liked the view from his new spot more.”

“That does sound like him, always the stubborn type.”

“It’s almost dawn, what do you say we make our way to the beach?” I suggested.

“I suppose, did you get hotel reservations?” Luna asked.

“We don’t need reservations. You’re a princess, I’m terrifying, and we’re both rich. Besides where we’re going, I know the owners of the best hotel around. We’ll be fine,” I said, still waiting for Luna to actually move.

“You, rich? When did this happen?” Luna wondered aloud.

“I’ve been collecting bounties on dangerous predators for centuries without having any expenses, it adds up pretty quickly. I’m a rather savvy investor as well, under a pseudonym of course,” I explained.

“You have all the makings of a terrible villain, you’re just missing the attitude. How do you do it?” Luna asked, clearly stalling to stay in the warm bed.

“I never gave up on the principles that guide me: an appreciation for all life, the value of friends, and the ability to know when someone is stalling,” I said with a knowing smirk.

“Drats, my devious plot has been thwarted. Curse you Jekyll, you haven’t seen the last of me,” Luna said.

“Your ‘devious plot’ should have gotten out of bed a while ago,” I commented, giving the aforementioned plot a squeeze and causing Luna to make a sound akin to a startled chinchilla as she jumped out of the bed.

“That wasn’t funny,” Luna said, shivering at the comparatively cold room.

“I thought it was funny,” one of the guards said.

“Sup Bluff,” I called to the guard, climbing out of the bed myself.

“Not much, Jay,” Bluff replied. Luna huffed and walked into the bathroom, returning after a few minutes.

“Alright, let’s go,” I said, my wings forming.

“Why don’t we take one of my chariots, save the energy of flying there. I’d rather not fight with sore wings,” Luna said, cutting me off before I could reach the balcony.

“We can start training tomorrow, no sense in ruining a perfectly good vacation on the first day,” I conceded.

“I still say we should take a chariot,” Luna pressed, walking out the door.

“Alright, but I’m bringing a squad of guards,” I compromised as I followed her down the hallway.

“Only if they stay out of the way,” Luna declared.

“Of what? It’s a beach, it’s warm, you lounge around. There’s nothing to get in the way of,” I reasoned.

“Sounds boring,” Luna commented.

“You seemed quite content a few minutes ago,” I countered.

“Fair enough, the garage is just up here,” Luna said, turning down a hallway towards where the chariots were stored.

“Luna?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve spent more time in these hallways than you have.”

“Shut up.”

The ponies who worked in the garage were startled to see us enter, as Celestia usually sent a messenger. But they set us up with a chariot and drivers right away. I sent one of Luna’s guards to Tzu with orders to have a squad of Gammas sent to the open beach south of Baltimare, locally known as Lucky’s Place. I was surprised to find that the chariot could take my weight, and even more surprised that the drivers could fly while being as weighed down as they were. Luna informed me as we traveled that the chariots had spells to counteract the weight of the occupants, thus allowing for the drivers to travel longer distances and that this had been a common practice before she was banished. I felt stupid.

Once we arrived at the beach I had directed them to, we thanked the drivers and let them return to Canterlot. We’d be making our own way back. Luna squinted against the bright light for a moment before teleporting a swimsuit and pair of sunglasses directly onto herself, a feat I found rather impressive. Although I hadn’t figured Luna for the lime green bikini sort.

“Planning on going swimming already?” I asked, a devious idea taking form.

“Swimming? Well, I hadn’t thought that far yet, but it seems like a grand idea,” Luna agreed, striding confidently towards the ocean water. I followed her in, disappearing into the shallow water once it had reached my knees. I moved as a mass of tendrils through the water, occasionally brushing against Luna’s legs as I made a looping path towards the deeper ocean. From there I sat and waited until I saw the outline of Luna on the surface, paddling in a circle with her wings. I snaked a tendril up towards the surface and began tapping Luna’s leg. When she didn’t respond I wrapped the tendril around her hoof and gave it a gentle tug, launching myself towards the space next to her.

“Got you,” I said to an unamused Luna.

“You would have scared me if I hadn’t seen you when you passed me in the shallows,” Luna replied, continuing to paddle around.

“Well crap, I thought that was a good one,” I said in defeat.

“Jekyll could you stop touching my leg, please?” Luna requested, but I wasn’t touching her.

“Luna. I’m not,” I said just before she went under. I followed as fast as I could and caught up quickly, finding an odd pony-squid hybrid with a tentacle wrapped around Luna. It had what appeared to be a pony’s head, but the neck split into the creature’s tentacles. I attacked without mercy, not stopping until I had reduced it to biomass and Luna was paddling furiously for the surface.

I sped over and assisted her in her quest for oxygen, latching a tendril over the lower part of her face and forming it into a sort of regulator. I grew a set of gills and began feeding her air. Once she realized that she could breathe, she began pointing further down with one of her forehooves. Getting the message, I wrapped myself across her back and powered her towards the bottom of the ocean. Once there I allowed some of the oxygen I had been trapping to escape, enabling Luna to walk across the ocean floor and inspect the different kinds of life found there. I suspected she may have been the first pony to see such things, if her attempts to swim to the surface had been any indication.

After a few minutes, I heard the sound of something large swimming towards the bloody remnants of the squid-thing. The shark passed us by before circling back for a closer look, I grew several more tendrils and added barbs to all of them. Sticking them out in all directions, I managed to make us seem unappealing enough for the shark to turn away. Luna didn’t seem to care and continued to inspect the different kinds of coral, occasionally stopping to play with a fish or two. After a few more minutes she decided to head back to shore, however she had gotten turned around and began walking parallel to the beach.

After a few unsuccessful attempts to get her to turn, I reinflated the ballasts in my tendrils and slowly elevated us to the surface. I released Luna and opted to swim next to her as we made our way back to shore.

“So, aside from the rough start, what did you think?” I asked.

“It’s incredible, I never knew there were so many kinds of fish. Did you see that big one? I thought it was going to try to eat us,” Luna exclaimed excitedly.

“That was a shark, and it would have loved to eat us. The ocean is a pretty ruthless place when you get to the bigger creatures,” I advised.

“And those rocks with the holes in them, I’ve never heard of anything like that before,” Luna continued.

“You’re probably the first pony to ever see them. We stumbled across a coral reef, those rocks are actually made by thousands of tiny creatures all working together to make homes for the next generation,” I explained.

“Amazing, it’s like a whole other world down there,” Luna said, still ecstatic over going diving for the first time.

“It basically is, but we should get to shore before another rumor starts up that I killed you. Hop on,” I commanded, Luna clambered on top of me awkwardly. I grew even more tendrils and shifted each one into a paddle shape before taking off for the beach at breakneck speed, Luna had her hooves around my neck and was hanging on for dear life. As we closed in on the shore I flattened my body out to act as a buffer between Luna and the sand, hitting it at full speed and grinding to a halt in front of a shocked group of ponies.

“Jekyll?”

“Yes, Luna?”

“We must do that again sometime!”

I burst into laughter, returning to my normal form in the process. Though it wasn’t until I stood up that I realized Luna was still attached to my neck, although now she was draped across my back in a rather suggestive looking position. And the other ponies were still staring at us.

“You can let go now, Luna. We’re out of the water,” I said to the mare wrapped around my neck, before addressing the others, “She’s just a little scared, we had a few run ins with some dangerous creatures while we were out there. Nothing to worry about though, they were really far out to sea.”

They seemed to accept this and returned to what they were doing, mostly lying on the beach or swimming in the shallows. Luna was still attached to my neck as I walked over to one of the longer chairs, the kind you see at pools that are half bed, I never learned what they were called. I extended my arms and set Luna’s rear legs onto the chair before positioning myself directly over it and removing my head for a moment, causing her to fall the couple inches onto the chair. I drug another over and sat down, noticing Luna’s forelegs were still in the same position. I decided to give her time, lying back and relaxing in the warm glow of the afternoon sun.

“Jay, I’m scared,” I heard Luna say. I shot up and searched for a threat, finding none.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, Luna was still in the same position.

“I can’t move,” she cried, fear evident in her voice. Some nearby ponies heard and started shouting for a doctor.

“Fuck, you must have been stung by something. Bear with me, this is going to suck,” I said positioning myself over her.

“What are y-,” she managed before my body erupted into trillions of tendrils and searched through every cell in her blood, muscles, and nervous system, rooting out every trace of the toxin and absorbing it harmlessly. Once my work was completed, my tendrils retracted and I returned to my previous position.

“I feel violated,” Luna managed.

“That toxin may have been lethal, I’m sorry but I couldn’t take the chance,” I apologized.

“Not by you, I understand how you work. As soon as you...invaded me, I knew you were hunting whatever was hurting me. You did the same thing to that sea monster. I feel violated by whatever it was that poisoned me, but your procedure did ‘suck’ by the way,” Luna corrected, leaving me with mixed feelings. How could anyone be okay with having their cells invaded and searched one by one, but be upset about a proverbial bee sting? A crowd was beginning to gather nearby but kept quiet, so I ignored them for the time being.

“Luna, a normal pony would hate me for doing that. They would have insisted that I should have waited for a pony doctor. Why aren’t you angry?” I asked.

“I have known you for less than two weeks, but I feel as if I know enough to believe that you will never allow me to be harmed. Especially by yourself. That is why I sleep better when you are in the room, that is why you’re more than just my self-imposed bodyguard, that is why you’re more than just my friend. Besides, is there anypony alive that knows more about poisons than you?” Luna said, evidently forgetting about all the ponies standing a short ways behind her.

“No,” I admitted, “Same for diseases, I do have a major advantage though. You know it isn’t fair to compare any normal doctor to me.”

“That is why I’m not angry. I forgot to tell you earlier, after I came to grips with what you are I made you my personal physician. You now hold every seat on my cabinet. Well, except for Tzu, but he belongs to you anyway. Close enough. I would have told you earlier, but you were off in the forest building even stronger monstrosities to protect me. I’d ask you why, but I admit I am afraid of the answer,” Luna continued.

“That’s an easy one, you’re my best friend. You gave me my life back when you stood up to your sister and pardoned me. You gave me the chance to live by my own merits, rather than hiding from the law every day for crimes I didn’t commit. I’m here, on this beach, right now, because of you. And I will happily spend the rest of eternity repaying that debt. Ask Lucky how far I’ll go to help my friends, now imagine how far I’ll go, how hard I’ll fight, for my best friend,” I said softly, Luna was almost in tears and an already crying mare was walking up to her.

“Uh, hi princess, I’m Lucky. Jay saved my life a few years ago. See, my husband and I had helped him hide from the princess, sorry, Princess Celestia, a while before. And when this huge storm came out of nowhere and trashed our inn, he was there. Just appeared out of the rain and held the building off of us while the other ones got us out of there. He even gave us the money to start up again out here. Sickness took my Silver last year, but at least he got to see his foals grow up. You should have seen them that night, all these terrifying creatures rescuing ponies left and right. They didn’t care who you were, as long as you were safe. But Jay came for us himself, and my fillies are alive because of him. They call him Uncle Jay, you know. I wouldn’t be surprised if half the fillies and colts in Equestria called him that. You’ve got one hay of a friend in that..whatever he is,” Lucky said, clear as day through her tears. One of the gathered ponies started quietly clapping, the rest followed shortly after.

“I heard about Silver, I’m sorry I wasn’t there,” I said sadly, “He was a good stallion.”

“It’s all right, I know you can’t be there to save us every time,” Lucky replied, her tone made it clear that she considered me free of any blame. I ignored her tone.

“But I should have been there that time. He was only in his thirties, he hadn’t even grown into his name yet. I could have saved him, I just didn’t hear about it in time. I’m so sorry,” I rebuked, dedicated to wallowing in self-loathing. Until a midnight blue hoof punched me out of my chair.

“Jekyll, do you remember what I told you about not being able to save everyone?” Luna asked, still seated.

“Yes I do, but this wasn’t one of those times. I wasn’t busy, I just didn’t know he was sick. I created Mike division the day after I found out, so that I wouldn’t fail any of my friends like that again,” I responded, Luna lifted me up and slammed me into the ground with her telekinesis, “Why are you doing this when you know that it doesn’t hurt me?”

“Would you prefer it if I gored you and started casting fireballs?”

“Fine, lesson learned, I’ll stop hating myself,” I said, shaking the sand off and returning to my chair.

“What was that?” Lucky asked, thoroughly confused.

“I am attempting to get Jekyll to see himself in a more positive light,” Luna answered.

“By beating him up? Doesn’t sound right to me. Princess, I don’t mean any disrespect, but Jay’s family to me and my girls. And anypony who’s going around bullying him isn’t welcome in my hotel. Now, I might be willing to forgive you because you’re doing it for a decent reason, but you can’t be beating on my family anymore. If you don’t want to sleep on the sand tonight, I suggest you apologize and figure out some other way to help Jay,” Lucky declared, one look at her face would tell you that she meant every word.

Luna was shocked, “But he doesn’t feel any pain.”

“Neither does a pillow. If you gotta beat on something to feel better about yourself, do it to something that won’t be humiliated by the treatment,” Lucky countered, her face reddening in anger contrasted sharply against her white coat.

“There’s more to it than that. Luna, I let you hit me. I may be smaller than you but I weigh several times as much as you do and when a pony kicks me, they break their leg. But I know that you’re still angry about everything you’ve been through, so I let you work your aggression out on me. At least until I can work out a better system,” I said seriously, startling Lucky and rattling Luna.

“I’m so sorry Jay, I’ve been such a fool. You’re both right. Jay, I am still angry at myself for allowing the Nightmare to control me. And Lucky, I know Jay isn’t at fault, I won’t attack him ever again,” Luna sobbed, openly crying.

“Alright you lot, get out of here!” Lucky shouted at the crowd, who fled immediately. They obviously respected this mare who had the guts to lecture one of the princesses.

“I’ll-I’ll just go back to Canterlot. Enjoy your vacation, you’ve definitely earned it,” Luna said, charging a spell.

A magic blocking glob of biomass impacted her horn before she could cast it, however. Her head spun towards where I was seated. My response made her gulp audibly, ”Oh no, you’re not getting out of this that easily. We came here for two reasons: to get away from Canterlot, and to teach you how to fight. We aren’t leaving until I decide those conditions are satisfied.”

“I feel sorry for you, princess. Silver tried to learn some self-defense from Jay, came back half dead a couple hours later,” Lucky commented.

“May I have my magic back? I will need to summon Nightbane,” Luna asked hesitantly.

“Not until you’ve mastered fighting without it,” I replied. Luna looked terrified at the prospect of fighting me in earnest.

“That’s not fair! You bound Silver’s wings,” Lucky complained.

“I was going to make that a surprise, thank you Lucky,” I replied dryly.

“I’m beginning to feel more like a prisoner than a vacationer,” Luna commented, her eyes wide.

“There are worse places to be. For example, there was a time when not even demons could survive in Tartarus,” I replied, an evil smirk spreading across my face.

“That makes no sense, how could demons not be able to survive in their own homeland?” Luna asked.

“Ask your sister,” I replied, knowing exactly what Celestia would say. She’d tell Luna to ask me, I was the one who dropped a leviathan on them after all.

“I’ll do that, just as soon as I am capable of doing so. In the meantime, I believe I’ll take your advice and just enjoy the day,” Luna said, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes.

“Care to join us Lucky?” I asked, reaching for another chair with a tendril.

“Sure. Lily has the hotel covered for now, so I can spare a few more minutes,” Lucky responded.

I pulled the chair over and Lucky laid down, uncaring that she had opted to lay on her back and was not wearing a swimsuit. I supposed she wasn’t hurting anything as there weren't any other ponies around, Luna was dead to the world, and I certainly didn’t care. ‘I should probably say something, poor mare’s going to embarrass herself.’

“Hey, Lucky?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re naked.”

“I know.”

“And lying on your back.”

“I know.”

“Just checking,” I said, satisfied that I had done my due diligence.

“I’m almost forty, Jay. How else am I supposed to find myself a nice stallion at my age?” she asked innocently. I burst out laughing, falling out of my chair and landing face down in the sand. I made sure to sprout more eyes to watch the area, even as I choked on the sand I was laughing into.

Luna opened a single eye, looked at me, looked at Lucky, and said, “Stallions, they’re the same all over.”

“Nah, Jay’s different. He only asked because I’ve done weirder things in the past without realizing what I’d done,” Lucky replied. I got control of myself and returned to my seat.

“Yeah. It wouldn’t be the first time you flashed a whole mess of ponies, I remember the time you passed out in a barrel outside The Dead Crabs. Just your ass end hanging out for the world to see,” I jibed, making the accused mare laugh and Luna raise an eyebrow.

“All I remember is your sadistic method of waking me up. Spanking a grown mare in public, have you no shame?” Lucky asked in mock offense.

“You’re one to talk. If you keep this up, your patrons are going to wonder if you’re running a brothel on the side,” I warned, somewhat fearful of her response.

“Now there’s an idea, least I’d finally get some action,” the cougar replied, I couldn’t tell if she was serious or not.

“By the stars, you two were made for each other. But don’t your daughters work in the hotel? Or have I interpreted the situation wrong?” Luna asked, unsure of how to react to our indecent conversation.

“Fuck, you’re right. I’ll just have to fire them. Hey Jay, you got any of them shape-shifty-whatsits you could spare? I bet the stallions would pay a premium for one of them,” Lucky asked, ever the entrepreneur.

“I have effectively unlimited enforcers, but don’t you think they would take away from your ‘action?’” I countered, sure that Lucky wasn’t planning on following through with her musings.

“Not if I could get some from them too, they are shape-shifty-enforcer-whatsits after all,” Lucky answered, outmaneuvering me for the first time in our relationship. This was far from the first of my conversations with the extremely open mare.

“Getting Lucky, I can’t tell if you’re joking anymore,” I declared, using the mare’s full name for emphasis.

“Can I please have one? You don’t know how hard it’s been since Silver passed, none of these young bucks will even look at me,” she pleaded. I was shocked, I hadn’t realized that all of her talk over the years had been more than posturing.

“So you and Silver?”

“Jay, I have eight fillies. They don’t appear out of thin air.”

“Damn, no wonder he couldn’t run two hundred laps around the hotel,” I commented, wondering how the stallion had walked at all.

“Jay, I don’t believe any stallion could run two hundred laps,” Luna added, her face showed just as much disbelief as I felt.

“IF one volunteers, and that’s a big ‘if’, you have to make sure it eats regularly. Fish will work just fine and unless you plan on tying it up somewhere, it’ll take care of itself. No outfits in public and be respectful, they do have feelings. Also, they aren’t the worst for conversation once they get used to you. And the biggest thing to remember is that we’re asexual, so don’t expect it to finish,” I said after thinking for a moment. I wondered when I had lost my mind, probably sometime right after Luna’s return. ‘Maybe I should go look for it.’

“Really? Oh, thank you so much!” Lucky shouted as she jumped over to my chair and wrapped me in a hug. Luna just stared at me with a blank expression. Lucky held on to me for another minute or so before releasing me and saying, “Whatever you guys want, it’s on the house. For life. But I need to get back and make sure Pepper hasn’t set the place on fire.”

“Are you sure that was wise?” Luna asked as the crazy mare sprinted back to her hotel.

“Anything for my friends, remember?” I answered absently, internally wondering the same question.

“It’s beginning to get late, shall we get settled in for the night?” Luna suggested.

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I’ve got a hundred bits that say Lucky went straight to her room, you in?” I wagered, knowing that Peppermint was an excellent cook.

“Alright, you’re on. I don’t know what that mare was thinking, leaving fillies alone to take care of an entire hotel by themselves,” Luna criticized. All of Lucky’s children were old enough to be living on their own, but I didn’t tell Luna that. As we entered the building we were greeted by a very attractive, even to my eyes, light pink mare that was in her early twenties.

“Uncle Jay!” she cried as she bounded over the counter to be swept up in a hug.

“Hey Lily, how have you been?” I asked, holding the young mare. The fact that she wasn’t a model should have been a crime. Luna was speechless.

“I’ve been great, I got engaged a couple months ago!” Lily said excitedly.

“Really? And where’s the lucky stallion now?” I asked, fully intending to scare the life out of the bastard.

“That’s him right there, with the blond mane. He’s waiting for me to get off work so we can go collect seashells.”

I turned and…. “Blueblood?”

“Jekyll! W-what are you doing here? And why are you holding my fiancee?” he stuttered. I set Lily down and approached the ‘prince.’

“Let’s talk, outside,” I said dangerously, leading him through the door, “You’d better have a damn good explanation for why you’re engaged to my niece. Talk.”

“It’s not what you think, she doesn’t know about my title. She likes me for me and I can be myself with her, rather than the unpleasant facade I wear around the castle. I love her, Jekyll, I really do and I believe she loves me,” Blueblood confessed.

“I’d find it easier to believe you if you weren’t such a prick,” I said sharply.

“I know, but you don’t know what it’s like. I was born with a fortune that I never cared about, and that’s the only part of me that anypony sees. None of them care about me, they only care about my money. Once I figured out that a bitter attitude would drive them away, I just kept wearing it. That’s why I’ve been coming out here, it’s remote enough that no one knows who I am. Please believe me Jekyll, I really love Lily,” he admitted. I sighed loudly.

“Okay, you have my blessing. But if you break her heart, I will not let you die. I will force you to endure every horror imaginable, and then I will think up some more. Do we have an understanding?” I threatened. Her father had passed away, someone had to do it.

“Y-yes w-we do,” he stammered, terrified.

“Good, let’s head back inside, son-in-law,” I ordered, causing Blueblood to squeak and follow me obediently.

“What’s going on?” Luna whispered once I had returned to her side.

“Your nephew is marrying my niece,” I explained quietly.

“I have a nephew? I’ll have to ask Tia about that later. And you were right, Lucky went right to her room when she entered the hotel. How did you know?”

“Peppermint is her oldest daughter, and one hell of a cook. She’s probably doing exactly what Lily said she was doing,” I guessed, Luna’s blush proving me correct.

“I’ll get you your bits when we return to Canterlot,” Luna said, admitting defeat.

“I’ve got your room key, the princess said you only needed one bed. Nice,” Lily announced with the subtlety of a wrecking ball.

“Rose Lily, you know I don’t sleep,” I commented loudly in an attempt to save Luna’s dignity.

“That sounds like fun!” the sadistic young mare exclaimed as we left the lobby.

“They seem so innocent until they open their mouths,” Luna said dryly.

“It used to be so much worse, Silver could speak entirely in innuendo,” I mentioned, seeing Lily’s head dip slightly when I said her father’s name, “Sorry, I knew you were close.”

“It’s alright, I should have gotten over it by now,” Lily replied, criticizing herself.

I didn’t like the way she was burying her grief, rather than actually admitting that she missed her father. Without warning, I scooped her up and jumped out the nearest open window. As my wings formed and spread, I began a slow loop around the hotel. Lily quickly calmed and adjusted herself to be more comfortable, as I had taken the earth pony flying since she was six. She turned to look at me when the sound of a piano began to play, but was kept from speaking when I began to sing. By the time my song ended she was sobbing into my shoulder as I held her, I was content to stay there for as long as she needed.

“Uncle Jay, do you think you could play that song you and dad used to try and sing sometimes?” she requested.

“Of course, I can play the original version too if you want,” I replied.

“I think dad would like to hear what it was supposed to sound like, I’ll guide you to him.”

She led me to a small grove of trees north of the hotel, where I set down and followed Lilly to a simple headstone. The name had already worn off. I really wished I could cry in that moment. But since I couldn’t I resolved to fix this injustice. I grabbed the pitiful memorial and threw it as hard as I could out to sea and built a better one out of bone in its place, this one featuring a bust of Silver smiling at whoever had come to visit him. My work done, I stepped back and spread my wings. I took one look at Lily and the new headstone before starting to sing Silver’s favorite song.

“Thank you,” Lily said quietly.

“Please don’t, not saving your father was one of my worst failures. He died because I didn’t think to watch over my friends as well as I should have,” I asserted.

“None of us blame you, these things happen,” Lily reassured.

“Your mother said almost the same thing, but that’s how I keep going. I dwell on my failures and make sure they can never happen again,” I confessed. Lily nodded sadly, her tears flowing once more.

“I understand, but if you carry the world like this you’ll never be happy. Don’t be so concerned about the safety of others that you forget to live your life. You saved us from certain death once, that’s more than anypony would have expected,” Lily said sagely.

“I’m not a pony,” I countered.

“But dad was, and he wasn’t asking when you were going to swoop in and save him. He was asking where you were so he could say goodbye,” Lily said kindly.

Lily's words bit deeper than any blade and I learned something new that day, I learned how to cry. I felt tear ducts force themselves into existence as I dropped to my knees and sobbed at Lily’s words, actual tears running down my face. I clung to Silver’s headstone and apologized to my friend over and over until Lily put her hoof on my shoulder and told me that it was okay.

I followed her back to the hotel where we found a pissed looking Luna surrounded by enforcers, all watching the other patrons of the hotel suspiciously.

“And where-are you okay, Jekyll? I’ve never seen you cry before,” Luna asked, concern written on her features.

“Yeah, no, but I will be,” I said simply, I didn’t want to talk about it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Luna asked, oblivious of my thoughts.

“Not right now, let’s just get to our room,” I remarked, walking past Luna into the hallway we had been in before.

“Jekyll! Your enforcers won’t let me move,” I heard Luna call. I released a growl in response and heard the enforcers depart the hotel, returning to whatever positions they had been hiding in before.

“You’re in room one thirty-two, Uncle Jay,” Lily said quietly from my right. I picked her up and held her against my chest as I walked to the room, her hooves wrapped around my neck. It was easy to forget that she was a grown mare.

“Jay, I’m starting to worry,” Luna commented as she caught up and began walking to my left. Without a word, I split my left arm into several tendrils, picked Luna up, and carried her as well. I had to widen my chest to make room for the two mares to sit comfortably.

“I don’t want to be alone right now,” I declared, finally arriving at Luna and I’s room. I retrieved the key from Lily with a tendril and unlocked the door before walking in and sitting on the room’s sole bed. It didn’t bow at all, and the proportions of everything were wrong for an Equestrian hotel room. This looked more like a hotel room on Earth, everything was scaled to my height, they had built this room for me. I just sat there and cried myself out on the two mares.

Once I had composed myself I noticed the state of Lily and Luna’s coats, they were soaked in my tears. I quickly ran tendrils over them and returned their coats to their prior, pristine, states and released them. Luna was significantly more disturbed by this than Lily, Lily being a veteran of my unorthodox methods of accomplishing simple tasks.

“I need to get back to the desk. Feel better Uncle Jay, you deserve it,” Lily said as she departed.

“Luna, I think I’m going to try to sleep tonight,” I mentioned, shuffling to the head of the bed and shifting my cells through the blanket rather than getting up. To an outside observer it would have looked like I had lifted the blanket with telekinesis while simultaneously phasing through it, Luna climbed into bed normally.

“Then I’ll probably see you on the other side,” she said as she cradled against me, “Now that I’m not hindered by my own nightmares, I can help others sleep soundly as well.”

“Sleep lightly, I don’t know if I’ll shift in my sleep. If I do, you should get out of the bed as fast as you can,” I warned.

“You think you’ll change into something spikey? Like that form you used when you attacked the assassins?” Luna asked.

“If you’re lucky, Demon Hedgehog is pretty tame compared to some of the other forms I’ve come up with,” I said seriously. Luna started laughing, “What?”

“Demon. Hedgehog. That is not what you call that form,” Luna declared.

“It looks like a demon hedgehog, what else would I call it?” I asked.

“Literally anything else, maybe something fearsome. How about ‘The Annihilator?’” Luna proposed.

“Taken. By a much cooler form, by the way,” I replied.

“I’ll think about it later, my faithful hedgehog. Let’s get some sleep,” Luna jibed before falling asleep instantly. Not for very long, however, as Lily kicked the door open shortly after.

“Jay! Did you promise to give my mother an enforcer coltfriend?” she demanded, startling Luna awake.

“No, I promised to ask them if one would like to keep her company,” I replied, hoping she would accept my explanation.

“I’m not a foal, Jay, I know what that means,” Lily remarked angrily.

“What do you want me to say? That I agreed to whore out one of my elite killing machines to your mom because she’s lonely,” I said, throwing my arms up in exasperation. Lily adopted a sheepish look.

“Well, it sounds kinda ridiculous when you say it like that,” she said quietly.

“Isn’t that exactly what you did?” Luna asked. ‘Not. Helping.

“Gaah, I’m not calling it dad!” Lily shouted as she stormed out of the room.

“I don’t expect you to!” I called after her.

“Jekyll, I think this family is having a detrimental effect on my sanity,” Luna commented.

“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll grow to love them, everybody does,” I replied easily.

“That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Author's Notes:

So you know how I said that the last chapter went places that I never intended to go with this story? Yeah screw that, this crazy train has gone off the rails and is currently tearing its way across the countryside.

I designed Abaddon as a combination of a Hierophant (Warhammer 40k), Nirvana (Fairy Tail), a Scarab (Halo series), an ultralisk (Starcraft), and an aircraft carrier. Have fun with that mental image.

Lucky is an almost carbon copy of my last boss, headstrong but SUPER hippie. If she ever finds this I'll probably never be heard from again.

It might be a few weeks until I can get another chapter out. I've got finals coming up and to make matters worse, I accidentally deleted my outline earlier this week. I ended up bullshitting my way through the second half of this chapter. I'll get everything fixed and going again as soon as I can, catch ya'll later.