“Hey Luna, wake up,” Jay said as his hand shook me out of the nightmare I had been trapped in.

“Oh thank goodness, I had this horrible nightmare where I was a filly again and you had to change my diaper,” I mumbled through my usual morning grogginess.

“Pretty sure we’re past that point, you’ve grown into a lanky as fuck teenager,” Jay replied, shocking me to full wakefulness.

“Oh no, not this again,” I complained as I looked down at my badly proportioned body. I looked like a giant set of legs with a tiny body on top and massive teats that pushed into the sides of my legs. I hated these years.

“It gets worse, you wet the bed about an hour ago when you were still a child,” Jay added, piling even more onto my overburdened teenage mind. Without the faculties to process this properly, I fled with my face red from embarrassment and tears running down my face.

“You remember that bit about how I’m faster than you?” Jay teased as he caught me halfway down the hallway and easily picked me up, “What the hell Lu, didn’t your parents feed you? I think Twilight weighs more than you do.”

Much to Jay’s confusion, this only made me cry harder as my immature mind decided that I’d never be pretty or find anypony who’d love me.

“Luna, I can’t read your mind anymore. Without that bioform in your head I’m gonna need you to use your words and tell me what’s wrong,” Jay ordered softly as he turned me around and hugged me to his chest like a foal, not seeming to care about how my freakish legs stuck out at strange angles or how my uncooperative hooves kept digging into his sides no matter how I tried to position them.

“I-I’m a freak, an ugly freak with no friends,” I confessed tearfully, finding that Jay only tightened his grip when I spoke.

“If you don’t have any friends, then who am I?” Jay asked, confusing me. It wasn’t his question that puzzled me, it was the lack of an answer I had for it. I knew his name was Jekyll and that I called him Jay. I knew he was the only one who got to call me Lu. I knew that my...private areas felt warm when I caught a whiff of his smell. But I didn’t have any context for any of it.

“You’re Jay, but I...I can’t remember anything else about you,” I admitted, cringing on reflex for the strike I was sure was coming. It didn’t. All I got was a sad look from the surprisingly caring creature that was holding me.

“Are you used to being hit?” Jay asked sadly.

“Why didn’t you? Everypony else does,” I asked before I could stop myself.

“Who’s ‘everypony’?” Jay asked as he sat down on the bed I had woken up in and set me in his lap.

“Momma does when I’m in the way or get something wrong. Poppa won’t unless somepony else is expecting him to, his spanks hurt the most. Tia mostly makes fun of me, but she hits me when I do bad stuff too. Why am I telling you this stuff Mister Jay?” I replied before panicking over how much I was giving away. I was in so much trouble.

“Don’t worry Luna, none of them can hurt you here. What do you remember before you woke up today?” Jay continued calmly, though I could see the anger in his eyes that usually meant I was leaving with bruises.

“It’s weird, I think I was an adult. No, I was definitely an adult, and I was lost in the forest but I wasn’t afraid of the animals. I was strong, stronger than Tia, and I knew how to fight. Nopony could spank me then, not even when I missed a spot on one of the dishes....But I’m little now, how do I remember being so big?” I wondered.

“That’s the day before yesterday, you got into a plant called Poison Joke and turned into a thing like me. When we got you cured, there was a complication and you went back to being a filly. That all happened yesterday. You grew to this size overnight and seem to be getting some of your memories back, but they’re coming in pieces,” Jay explained.

“I really was all grown up? So I know you, but not from when I was young?” I confirmed.

“Yeah, you could say that. Tell me, do you know where we are?” Jay asked, as though he was fishing for something.

“Your house?” I guessed.

“THAT MADE ME SAD,” a huge voice rumbled, shaking the room and nearly scaring me out of my skin.

“What was that!?” I screamed in alarm as I tried to hide my awkward body under Jay’s arm.

“That was Abaddon, or Abby as you usually call him, we’re inside him right now. Abby is so big that lots of ponies can live in here and not hurt him at all, he even likes the company,” Jay explained.

“You live here?” I asked fearfully.

“Yes I do, and so do you,” Jay answered. I screwed up my face as I tried to figure out why I would choose to live inside some giant monster.

“I must’ve been really brave when I was big,” I commented.

“You might not see it, but you were brave as a filly too,” Jay asserted.

“Brave? I’m just a screw up, an accident that just causes more problems for everypony else,” I countered, looking away as I felt myself start crying again.

“Lu, look into my eyes and tell me what you see,” Jay instructed. I did as I was told and looked back at the creature holding me. I saw now what Jay had been talking about, he had a killer’s eyes. I couldn’t find any other way to describe the feeling, just the sense that he had killed a lot of ponies and would do so again. I’d seen that look in some of the dogs the master at arms kept. Though the dogs had given me many nightmares, I wasn’t afraid of Jay. I wished I knew why I wasn’t scared.

“You’re a killer,” I stated confidently.

“And?” Jay pressed.

“I’m not scared, but I don’t know why I’m not,” I confessed.

“Do you want to know?” Jay asked.

“Yes,” I replied, now nervous about the answer I was going to get.

“You’re not scared of me because part of you remembers that I’d never hurt you or let you get hurt. On some level you remember that good husbands don’t hit their wives,” Jay explained cryptically.

“Wait, hold on. Are you saying we’re...I actually got...ohmygosh, I got married?!” I stammered before squeeing in joy, “That means I actually grew up to be pretty, I won’t be a freak forever!”

“Someone said freak too many times, now I’m up and wondering what the fuck you idiots have fucked up this time,” another creature demanded as she barged in through a side door. This one made me uncomfortable, it was clearly female but excessively so. Her nakedness seemed to suck in my attention and leave me numb to everything else, everything except my rapidly heating nethers and my growing arousal. The creature froze when she saw me and allowed her jaw to fall against the perfect skin of her neck as she looked up and down my body, “Oh...my...damnation, she is SO CUTE!”

“I feel funny,” I whimpered as I forced myself to look away. If I had stared at the creature for any longer, I might’ve started rubbing my butt on Jay’s leg and embarrassed both of us.

“Cat, it might be wise to put on some clothes when there are puberty levels of hormones running through Luna’s brain,” Jay warned, saving me some public shame as I tried to hide behind my mane.

“Why? It isn’t like I wasn’t the one coaching her through her first lay,” Cat challenged.

“She was an adult then, you can go back to being your usual temptress self when Luna’s back to normal,” Jay allowed, adding more force to his tone. I liked Jay, he just kept defending me in ways I wasn’t used to.

“What’s a lay?” I blurted, catching even myself off guard.

“It’s not important right now. What is important is that you’re too young to be around a nude succubus,” Jay replied quickly, giving me the impression that Cat would’ve given me an answer he didn’t want me to hear. An honest one.

“Cat?” I asked, keeping enough of my mane in the way to block any view of Cat. Jay sighed in exasperation, but he didn’t try to stop me.

“I helped you have sex, the two of you were just sitting there awkwardly until you called me in to get you moving,” Catrix elaborated, nearly making me wet myself in surprise. I might’ve even done it if I hadn’t already emptied my bladder in my sleep.

“I’m not a virgin?” I confirmed, looking down at myself for any changes.

“You probably are now, your body reverted to that of a child remember,” Jay replied.

“I wish I could remember, it was probably a magical night where we celebrated our love after getting married at a big ceremony with all of our friends,” I assumed wistfully.

“It was a drunken one night stand after a party and we got married at some point but neither of us remembered it. Cat’s talking about your first time while sober, which was only a couple of weeks ago,” Jay corrected, shattering my daydream.

“So I’m still a screw up even as an adult, great,” I spat.

“Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, but I don’t regret that night and neither do you. And stop calling yourself a freak, I’m a shapeshifting-warlord-doctor that accidentally conquered Tartarus. I’m the freak around here and I wear that name with pride,” Jay consoled before turning prideful and pointing forcefully at his chest with his thumb.

“Do I love you?” I asked, wishing I could remember.

“You make it very clear that you do,” Jay answered seriously, dropping his over the top attitude now that the conversation had shifted to a more emotionally impacting topic.

“Do you love me?” I continued, thinking this would be the most important question I could ask.

Jay hesitated and Cat began creeping back towards the door she had entered through, “That’s a more difficult one to answer. My biology doesn’t allow me to feel what you would call passionate love. I have those I consider my family, adopted brothers and sisters and their children, and I truly care about them. But members of my species don’t seek mates, we don’t breed and don’t have that drive to seek a partner. I care about you, I want to see you happy and safe, and that was enough for you.”

“Oh,” I replied simply, unsure how to feel about that. Part of me felt content but another part wanted to run away and cry somewhere quiet.

“Wait wait wait, hold the fuck up,” Cat interjected as she rejoined the conversation with newfound resolve, “You’ve never said it like that before, you’re sure it’s just the passion you’re missing?”

“The desire to find a mate, yeah,” Jay repeated, catching my interest.

“Don’t you know that the passion phase is temporary? It fades and romance fills in the gap, making the relationship stronger. Those old bastards aren’t getting much passion but the romantic love between them and their wives is a force of nature, you idiots just need to foster that and let it grow,” Cat admonished, seeming overly harsh.

“That makes a lot of sense and I feel stupid now,” Jay confessed as he brought a hand up to hold his head.

“So I’m loved as a grown up?” I confirmed.

“Not in the way you want; but yeah, it’s there,” Jay allowed.

“That makes this easier, thank you. You seem strong and you’re a king, I must have some really nice flanks to catch your eye; even if it was under the influence of alcohol,” I guessed, starting to feel really good about where my life had headed.

“I’d agree, but based on how you acted yesterday you don’t. Your adult body is solid muscle with next to no fat, you grow into a naturally athletic mare,” Jay corrected.

“Darn, do I at least lose these things?” I asked, gesturing towards my teats.

“They fit you well, you’ve said that they’re perfectly average for your body size,” Jay responded.

“That’s good, I guess. I was really hoping they’d shrink,” I replied somberly. It seemed like nothing about my adult body would be attractive.

“Lu?” Jay asked after I had a moment to think.

“Yes?” I replied politely.

“I’m not a pony, pony standards of beauty don’t apply. I like muscled legs and flat flanks, I see flabby butt cheeks as just being in the way of getting around. And your teats are just the right size for me to grab and squeeze when you won’t get out of bed, they’re perfect,” Jay reassured me, making me feel warm deep inside my chest. I smiled at the compliments and leaned up to kiss the one who had given them to me, though he held my shoulder and kept me from making contact.

“It feels weird with you having regressed like this, how about you hold onto that for when you’re back to normal?” Jay suggested.

“Yeah, I guess it would be creepy for you to kiss a teenager,” I agreed, but that mention of grabbing my teat had brought back a slew of new memories. I remembered Catrix and Abaddon and Veil and all the rest. I remembered our nightly ritual, all the fun times we shared in this room. I was back, all I had to do was let Jay know my mind had returned.

I was on him the instant his hand released my shoulder, obviously not expecting my more innocent teenage self to lie. Jay’s protest became my avenue of attack, slipping my tongue into his mouth before he could close it. Jay froze as he recognized my tongue wrestling technique of constantly slipping around his own to avoid being pinned, though he didn’t participate in the game like he usually did.

“Hey lover, I remembered a few things,” I declared once I felt my lungs start to burn and released my husband’s lips.

“Damnit Lu, I feel like some kind of pedophile now. Not cool,” Jay admonished as he recovered.

“Sorry about the size and age thing, but you have no idea how much I needed that. I thought I was a goner when I started falling apart in that brew Zecora made, just thinking about it still gives me the willies. Did you know my eye fell out before it stopped working? I saw my own face melt off. If that’s not enough stress to warrant some impulsiveness then I don’t know what is,” I argued.

“But that cure stuff was solid green, how could you have seen any of that,” Jay challenged, as though trying to catch me in a lie.

“Those fucking eyes you made me, that’s how. They adapted to the cure well enough to let me see through it before they dissolved. Did I mention that I felt all of it?” I continued.

“You’re stressed out and want sex, I heard you the first time. It still isn’t happening until you grow up,” Jay deadpanned adamantly.

“Full on sex? Like this? No way in Tartarus am I giving that a shot, have you seen how uncoordinated I am?” I laughed, finding the entire thing ridiculous.

“Then what are you asking for?” Jay pressed.

“I want you to hold me and tell me I’m pretty while you brush my mane, these teenage hormones are still messing with my head and I’m constantly on the verge of tears,” I replied as I pushed Jay over and snuggled up against his chest as best I could with my unwieldy legs.

“I find it hard to believe that all of you came back already. How about I ask you a few questions to gauge your memory?” Jay proposed as he ran his fingers along my scalp in a way that made my spine tingle.

“Alright, but don’t forget to call me pretty,” I reminded him.

“The red enforcer, what’s his name?”

“That’s Fang, the crazy one that likes me.”

“Who’s Twilight Sparkle?”

“The eye of the storm, always in the middle of every crisis that seems to pop up in Ponyville. She’s also my student.”

“Good, who did I live with in the Crystal Kingdom?” Jay asked.

“A wendigo named Frost Bite and your daughter Freydis,” I answered.

“Frey and I lived with Wind Chill, not Frost Bite. Wrong sister, but I never told you Frosty’s full name,” Jay corrected, his voice gaining a suspicious edge I didn’t like. I’d need to deflect before he dug too much deeper.

“Two names for the same condition, I was close,” I defended, “Not all of us have a perfect memory, you know.”

“Don’t forget that I raised Frey through her teenage years, I can tell when young ladies are hiding things from me and how to make them talk,” Jay warned.

“Can’t it wait until I’m not emotionally compromised?” I protested, though all that got me was the warm embrace of my husband to transition into a surprisingly uncomfortable experience. Jay pulled away and rolled me onto my belly before I could react, then pinned me with a single finger to the top of my head. No matter how I pulled or twisted, my head refused to rise from where it was pressed into the mattress, “Lemme go!”

“Not until you tell the truth. Did Nightmare kill Frosty?” Jay demanded, though his voice was even and devoid of anger.

“Please,” I whined, already feeling tears running down my face.

“Tell. Me. The. Truth,” Jay growled.

“No, the Nightmare didn’t kill Frosty. I did,” I confessed as I broke into full on sobs.

“Abaddon, have Tzu call back India Five. Let them know the mission was doomed from the start,” Jay ordered, all emotion removed from his voice, “You are going to explain why you killed one of my, incredibly few, best friends’ sisters and why you continued to let me waste my time looking for a mare that’s been dead for over a thousand years.”

“It was an accident, I didn’t mean to do it,” I pleaded, feeling the pressure on my head increase slightly.

“The whole story, now,” Jekyll seethed, his voice telling me that he had become the legate again.

“It was a long time ago, before I ever felt the anger that would create the Nightmare,” I began.

I sighed as I set my first mug of the night down and mentally prepared myself for the eternally dull job of doing Tia’s paperwork. All the notes were already there, I just had to fill in the proper lines and forge my sister’s signature on each page.

All twenty six thousand of them if I had my measurements correct. The stack of forms and decrees was much taller than me so my scale may have been slightly off.

“Hey Lulu,” a friendly voice greeted as I sat down and started on the first of many papers.

“Good evening Frosty, how fare thee tonight?” I replied, happy to have the wendigo to talk to.

“Thine knickers art still tangled, eh? I’m doing alright, heat’s gotten pretty mild so I’m not humping the walls anymore,” Frosty ribbed, making me snort in amusement.

“Thou art always proficient in raising mine mood, I thank thee for thine friendship as always,” I chuckled as Frosty perched on the massive stack of forms to interrupt my efforts.

“You really need to get out more, maybe even drop the old lingo. All jokes aside, you’re starting to worry me. You need friends Lulu,” Frosty pressured.

“We doth have a friend, thou art our friend,” I rebutted as I lifted the weightless creature and retrieved another form.

“One wendigo isn’t enough, I’m still young but I will die eventually. You need to learn how to make real friends or you’ll go mad,” Frosty insisted.

“Perhaps thou art right-you are right-you’re right, this is difficult. Tia can handle the paperwork herself for one day, what should we do?” I asked, reasoning that I deserved at least one day off after working every day for the past five hundred years.

“Woah, who are you and what have you done with my friend?” Frosty demanded jokingly, “I know a few places that are still open and won’t freak at the sight of either of us, let’s go party.”

“What’s a party?” I asked as I allowed the serpentine pony to pull me out of the office.

“You don’t...You’re funny Lulu, acting like you don’t know what a party is,” Frosty laughed. I hadn’t been joking.

“I pray it is not a time consuming activity, the day guards do not know of you and may attack,” I cautioned, ever mindful of Frosty’s status as a forbidden creature. A monster, according to the official listings.

“As long as they use their blunt spears, I might just let them,” Frosty replied in her happy, joking way. Now that I’ve experienced more, I know what she meant. At the time I didn’t have a clue, what guard worth his fur carried a blunt spear?

“Hey guys we’re gonna go party, you coming?” Frosty offered once we reached the gatehouse and the four guards stationed within.

“Sorry Bite, we’re stuck here till morning. Marble’s off duty tonight though, he’s probably at the Hornet already if you want to meet up. Oh, before I forget, one of the day guards spotted you last week, there’s a bounty for your head,” Steam, the sergeant, replied, adding to my worries for Frosty’s safety.

“Frosty, maybe we should wait to perform this party until the guards forget about the bounty or I convince Tia to sanction you,” I suggested nervously.

“Oh no, you aren’t getting out of this that easily,” Frosty responded tersely before coiling around my barrel and dragging me into the air.

“I can fly unassisted you know,” I complained as I was ferried across the canyon that separated the castle from the rest of Everfree City.

“But this way makes it more fun,” Frosty insisted, “Besides, you haven’t been outside since before the town was built, you’d get lost without me.”

“I have to been outside, there exists a courtyard on the west side,” I argued indignantly.

“Where’s the seedy pub in relation to where we are now?” Frosty challenged.

“Uh, that way?” I guessed, pointing in a random direction.

“There’s nothing but houses and crops that way. The bad side of town is the southern edge, that’s where we’re going,” Frosty corrected.

“The bad side of town?” I confirmed, “This does not seem wise.”

“It’s fine, the ponies there may not have much respect for the law but they’re still good ponies. They’ve even been letting me hide out in their homes during the day,” Frosty replied, easing some of my worries.

“If you’re sure,” I permitted.

“Oh relax you nervous nag,” Frosty chided, “We’re nearly there. You see that yellow building with the black door, that’s the Hornet. Best speakeasy in Everfree.”

“A speakeasy? You’re taking me to an illegal bar? Frosty, you know I cannot partake,” I rambled, all of my fears returning and bringing friends.

“Relax, the night guards just about own the pace and it’s empty during the day. We’ll be fine as long as you can lie worth a bit,” Frosty reassured.

“I’ve kept you hidden for the past six months, I’d say I can keep a secret,” I boasted.

“Omission is fine and protects the bar, but we’re gonna be playing Sixes and that takes active lying. If you can’t lie and make it believable, you’ll lose. I’m gonna pass you some bits after I buy us both in, but don’t you lose or you’ll ruin everything. These games go until the players are betting their bodies,” Frosty warned.

“They sell themselves into slavery over a game?” I asked, horrified.

“Only for one act, as dictated by the winner’s choosing. You might end up cleaning somepony’s garage or losing that scarlet ‘V’ you’re so proud of, nopony knows. But you’d lose your regalia before then anyway, so don’t let it come to that,” Frosty cautioned.

“Why would anypony play such a game if the stakes are so high? Also what’s a scarlet ‘V’?” I wondered.

“The high stakes are what make it fun. Don’t worry, the worst you’d get is to dance for the winner,” Frosty soothed.

“Please stop toying with my emotions,” I requested, “First you incite fear, then you assuage it, then you incite more and assuage that too. It is fraying my nerves.”

“You’re just too adorable to not mess with though,” Frosty cooed as she twisted around and tried to mess my mane, getting more than our share of looks when she continued her pointless action while landing gently in front of the clandestine establishment.

“This place looks abandoned,” I noted, getting Frosty to stop picking on my scalp.

“Kinda the point, let’s go inside,” Frosty replied as she grabbed my foreleg and pulled me into the bar.

The only light was a weak candle by the basement stairs, obviously set there to help those who knew find their way without being bright enough to alert anypony outside. Frosty led me around the dusty old boxes that littered the dingy building and down the indicated stairs.

When we reached the bottom Frosty pulled a set of shelves out of the way to reveal a hole in the wall leading into a brightly lit cavern hidden beneath the city, “This is the Hornet, where all manner of freaks and lowlifes reside. The cot up there on that ridge is mine, so I guess I should be welcoming you to my home as well.”

“It is surprisingly...charming,” I lied as I stepped over a patch of moss growing out of the floor and the pony eating it.

“We’ll be playing at the square table over here, just follow my lead,” Frosty instructed.

“I think I can do that,” I agreed apprehensively.

“Wassup buckers, I got a purse fit to bursting and a silver tongue. Wadda ya say we play some odds?” Frosty proposed loudly as she floated over to the table.

“I wore ya as a coat last night, where’d ya get more bits?” a stallion I didn’t know challenged.

“Knicked em from the queen bitch herself,” Frosty bragged, “Call it a perk of being besties with the baby sister.”

Now all eyes in the room focused on me, nearly causing me to crumble under the pressure, “Um, hello.”

“That’s Princess Luna?” the stallion from before confirmed, “Ponyfeathers, slavin’ under the queen has ‘bout broken her.”

“Tia isn’t a queen, she’s a princess like me,” I corrected on reflex.

“Maybe in title, but yer forgotten outside of this here pub. Most of the gits on the surface have started callin’ her queen an’ everythin’, not that she corrects ‘em. We wouldn’t even know ‘bout you if not fer Frosty here,” the stallion explained.

“Oh,” I responded quietly, wondering if I had ever been known beyond the castle walls at all.

“Beh, buck the Day Queen, we’re servants of the night and we like it that way.” the stallion spat loudly, raising a cheer amongst the others.

“Servants of the night?” I repeated.

“Oh yeah, we buck and fight and steal whatever we like while those sunlovin’ gits sleep. We’re the real ponies of Equestria, we know that the best time to be alive is when that moon of yers is high in the sky. Yer the queen fer us, or ya will be once we get ya ta open up. C’mon, I’ll buy ya in fer this game,” the stallion continued, kicking a chair hard enough for it to crash against my chestplate before coming to a stop.

I obediently sat down and scooted up to the table as I regarded the rough talking earth pony and Frosty slid under the table to pop up in the only other empty seat. The earth pony had a coat reminiscent of rust or clay, with no mane to speak of and a long scar that ran over his left eye before curving around his jaw and crossing his neck. The eye the scar passed over was missing, leaving the empty cavity for the world to see. I couldn’t see if the stallion had a tail or what his cutie mark was, if the mark could even have cute in the name with how uncouth this fellow looked.

“Is my eye botherin’ ya? I got a bandage ‘round here somewheres,” the stallion offered.

“No, well yes, it’s actually that odd scar that has my attention,” I confessed as bits were passed around and four cups were set on the table, each with six dice rattling around inside of them.

“Ah, that old tale. Name’s Breacher, by the by, and this scar is a reminder why I won’t trust the law ever again. Used ta be a guard, believe it or not, was until I caught my captain runnin’ slaves fer the dogs down south. Turns out the bastard had set me up as his fall stallion from the start, had evidence and everythin’. I ran, o’couse, till another of my unit caught up to me, friend of mine too. Was a friend anyway, hard to stay friends after yer buddy cuts yer buckin’ wings off at a thousand feet above the ground. I got mine though, ripped his heart out. That peckerhead captain’s too. Scars are from the tree I hit when I crashed, branch opened my throat fore it popped up and took my eye. Crashes are funny like that,” Breacher explained, chilling me with how casually he had confessed to murder.

“That sounds horrible,” I managed after a moment to suppress my urge to vomit.

“Wait a sec, how’d you cut out their hearts?” Frosty asked, clearly more intrigued than I was.

“With this,” Breacher replied before twisting his head behind his back and producing a crude knife.

“I-I think I’m going to be sick,” I warned them as I recognized the material as bone.

“No worries, most folk can’t handle seeing a pegasus wing knife. The rest think me mad fer carryin’ one made outta my own wing.”

“Yep, I’m in that second category,” Frosty agreed as I ducked my head below the edge of the table and vacated my stomach.

“Ey princess, what don’t kill ya makes ya stronger. I made it through that day, ya can make it through my story,” Breacher advised.

“I’m alright, that was just far more than I was expecting,” I replied apologetically.

“No worries, any bits a yer lunch just got added ta the puke and shit already on my legs. I figure it gives my kicks some extra umph, ya know. Leave em with the sickness ta finish the job later, nice an’ slow like,” Breacher replied amicably.

“You are one terrifying stallion, are you aware of that?” I asked.

“Down here ya gotta be one hard motherbucker or have somethin’ else ta keeps the rats offa ya. Yer the queen, ain’t nopony messin’ with you. I gotta be damn scary to keep them louts away and I’m still keeping my knife under my pillow,” Breacher continued, much to my dismay.

“Look, I know the main focus of this game is for chatter like this, but can we chat and play at the same time?” Frosty requested.

“Buck you bitch,” Breacher snapped angrily, though he slid one of the cups her way just the same.

“I was never told the rules,” I pointed out as I mimicked the others in the way they shook their cups before slamming them into the table.

“It’s easy, ya don’t look at yer dice but bet on who’s got the highest and by how much anyway. If I think yer fulla shit, I call ya out and we go head ta head on who has more. Loser gives away their stash and the game continues. Winner gets the pot. Stash is ten bits ya set to the side, pot is the pile in the middle of the table,” Breacher explained.

“Luna by five, betting twenty,” Frosty stated, pushing the small stack of bits into the center and beginning the round.

“I’m next? Frosty by five, betting five,” I guessed, starting to push some bits forward until Breacher stopped me.

“That’s not a legal bet, gotta be more than the guess before you and ya have to bet as much or more than the one before ya too,” Breacher corrected.

“Right, sorry. Frosty by six, betting twenty,” I amended.

“Luna by fifteen, betting twenty,” Breacher called as he added his bits.

The remaining stallion, who hadn’t spoken thus far, rapped his hoof on the table sixteen times before pointing at Breacher and pushing twenty bits up.

“No tongue,” Breacher explained at my confused look.

“Horseapples,” Frosty spat before slapping her cup aside to reveal her dice. The stallion did the same and was revealed to have all sixes, costing Frosty her stash.

“Damn, sixers on the first round. In times like this, ya just change the bettin’ to the next highest,” Breacher noted, prompting me to nod at the reasonable rule.

The game turned out to be quite fun now that I understood the rules and how to play, though I was quite poor at actually playing it. I lost all of my bits to Breacher and the other stallion and was forced to wager pieces of my regalia. I managed to hold them there, winning and losing the pieces constantly for much of the night. I faltered near the end though and lost all of them and the rights to my body to the mute stallion.

I didn’t like the look that stallion gave me when he won that round and all but cheered when Breacher got serious and took him for everything he had over the next two rounds, knocking out Frosty as well and ending the game.

“Ya did good fer a first timer, but I’ve been playing this game in seedy hovels from here ta Manehattan, ta the Badlands, and back. Frosty’s comin’ back ta my cot fer her payment, but I’ll just take something light from ya and give back yer stuff ‘cause I’m nice like that. Don’t ya worry none, I ain’t deflowerin’ no queens. Not my place. Ya could give me a ride ‘round the room, lemme see what it’s like up there,” Breacher hinted as he leaned back in his chair and dropped his hind legs to sit rather similar to the way you do.

“That sounds simple enough,” I replied before standing and walking around the table. I seemed so innocent, just lift the stallion onto my back and prance around, Father had done this with me on his back when I was a filly. I wasn’t expecting them to laugh at me. Sweat ran down my face as all eyes in the room bored into my soul, each drop seeming to ferry away more of my dwindling dignity. It felt like hours, but was more likely just a few minutes before Breacher decided I had done enough and returned my regalia.

“I’ll expect ya back soon Frosty, wouldn’t do for the queen ta go without an escort,” Breacher allowed, permitting his other prize to accompany me back to the castle.

“You alright Lulu?” Frosty asked as we climbed the stairs.

“That last bit was embarrassing, but the game was fun,” I replied, already getting over my defeat and subsequent servitude.

“Do you have any idea what you really did back there? You gained their respect. You lost sure, but that’s expected when you face off against Breacher. The big thing is that you owned up to it with dignity and did what you were told. They all know I’m in heat and lose on purpose, it’d be weird for me to chicken out. We’re the outliers, the ones who get special permissions. I’m expected to have sex when I lose, you were expected to pull some royal bullshit to get out of it. By giving that stallion a ride, you showed that you’re one of them at heart and scored some solid followers,” Frosty explained as we exited the building and took to the skies.

“Really? I didn’t even think of that,” I commented before realizing something very important, it was nearly dawn. We’d have to hurry if we were going to get back before the day shift took over.

At my urging, Frosty hurried along in our effort to race the sun. It became another game, with each of us racing the other as we sped towards my balcony on the eastern tower.

I smiled when we crossed over the gate, turning to look at Frosty as I pulled slightly ahead.

“Oh not this again, I’m not gonna lose to you thi-” Frosty managed before her face twisted in pain and she began to fall.

“Frosty!” I cried as I looped back and caught my friend, finding an arrow lodged between her ribs. By then her eyes had lost their light, leaving them cold and lifeless. Without her natural magic to make her as weightless as the breeze, I struggled to maintain altitude while holding her surprising bulk.

“I got one of the intruders captain,” a guard announced as I descended.

“Excellent work, load another arrow and prepare to fire on my mark,” another guard ordered.

“I’m Princess Luna, stand down!” I screamed through my tears as I held my lost friend to my chest and slowed our fall as best I could.

“Who?” the first guard asked.

“It doesn’t matter, the name’s a lie anyway. Everypony knows Princess Celestia rules Equestria, just shoot this overgrown pegasus,” the captain snapped. I formed a shield a split second too late and cried out as the arrowhead embedded in my side, causing us to fall the few feet remaining between us and the ground.

I kept my shield up as I tried in vain to revive Frosty, dual casting the shield and medical spells despite how much it added to my own pain.

“Frosty-Frosty please, don’t leave me alone. I can’t take being alone anymore,” I sobbed into my friend’s cold coat.

“What is going on here?” a familiar voice demanded, pulling my attention away from my despair and giving me some hope.

“Tia! Tia please, Frosty’s hurt!” I begged, noticing that my shield had been surrounded with spear wielding guards.

“Who in the cosmos is Frosty?” Tia asked cooly as she walked between the parting rows of guards.

“Do you know this freak, your highness?” the captain asked.

“Is that blood? Are you bleeding Luna?” Tia asked now that she was close enough to see.

“Forget about me, Frosty’s dying!” I screamed in anguish. Why couldn’t they see the injured pony in my forelegs.

“She’s already dead, and a wendigo besides. I’m going to ask you again, are you hurt?” Tia repeated more forcefully.

“Yes,” I admitted as I hugged Frosty one more time and set her down, my grief turning to rage.

“Who gave that ord-” The Tyrant managed before I detonated my shield and crushed the guards that had taken my only friend from me.

“Thou hath forgotten thine station and pushed us into obscurity for thine own gain. Our ponies live in the sun and forget the night, forget who guides it, who shapes it. We are thou own sister and thou hath forsaken us, thou scorn our only friend as she dies. We shalt not stand for this any longer, we shall ensure thou art scorned as we have been scorned, forsaken as we have been forsaken, bled as we have bled, cry as we have cried, and fear as we have feared. I shall be your Nightmare, Tyrant. Thou shalt fear the moon!” I declared, taking my first steps to becoming what would later be known as Nightmare Moon.

Celestia didn’t try to stop me as I gathered Frosty’s body and took back to the skies. I only knew one place to go, back to the Hornet. There was no subtlety this time, doors were ripped from their frames as I approached, the shelf that hid the bar was flung across the building and lodged in a wall, and the disgusting moss on the floor burned to ash around me.

“Breacher, thine prize has fallen at the hooves of the Tyrant’s guards while she watched. We offer thou a new one, the tyrant of the day herself!” I roared, making many of the patrons jump in fear as right they should when an unhinged alicorn has them trapped in a confined space.

“I told ya before, I am a servant of the night. May it last forever, my queen,” Breacher replied formally as he bowed.

“May it last forever!” the other ponies chorused as they too bowed before me.

“That will work nicely. For their crimes against us, they shall know our darkness. The night shall last FOREVER!” I cried before feeling my mind fracture and a new personality take over my body, a cruel one that fed on this rage and cackled evilly in the darkness.

“And you know the rest,” I concluded.

“Jesus,” Jay commented as he leaned back to process what I had told him, his hand long removed from pushing on my head.

“She wasn’t the cause, just the tipping point. It’s a painful memory for so many reasons,” I added.

“I understand, I’m sorry for pushing you like that,” Jay apologized, “But what are the odds that our best friends from that era were sisters?”

“It is odd, I’ll give you that,” I agreed, finding the coincidence suspicious myself.

“Makes me wonder if anyone else had a hand in it,” Jay growled, reminding me of that name Dopple had used. Fate.

“That...That seems just a little too creepy to think about right now,” I responded shakily, my body mirroring my voice.

“There’s one part of this story I have a problem with, you didn’t kill Frost Bite,” Jay pointed out.

“I did, by sitting through the whole game instead of backing out and wasting even more time on Breacher’s little stunt. We would’ve made it back before the day guards got there if I hadn’t been so stupid. Or flown back by myself, or just teleported home, or…” I countered before trailing off when I felt a gentle hand on my neck.

“I understand, I have plenty of those thoughts myself. You can’t let them eat you alive like this though, people make mistakes and sometimes people die. I used to operate my legion just like all the others until they were almost wiped out, their deaths were what prompted me to develop my fear based strategies. I’m still haunted by those days and how badly I let them down, but I can’t let it define me. I’m not that person anymore and neither are you,” Jay consoled, “Except forgetting that you can tear holes in space and time at will, that shit’s turning into a pattern.”

I winced at the joke, knowing that it was true, “Maybe you could save the criticism for when I’m emotionally stable?”

“You keep saying that, but I’m not seeing that much of a change. Sure, you’re crying more, but that’s about it. Not a whole lot of difference in your personality,” Jay countered.

“Damn,” I swore before getting a flick to my ear, “What?”

“It isn’t proper for young ladies to swear,” Jay chided.

“You let Freydis swear,” I pointed out.

“Only on certain occasions. Besides, she was dealing with watching her mother die, she needed a way to vent that,” Jay countered.

“I’m still an adult in my mind,” I attempted.

“I thought you were pushing the narrative that you were emotionally compromised by being a teenager again,” Jay rebutted.

“Shoot, uh, wait, even when I was this size I was still older than you,” I stumbled.

“No shit? How slowly do you age?” Jay asked.

“Very slowly. If you compared my normal self to a regular pony, I’d be in my early twenties or very late teens. Somewhere between nineteen and twenty-one, I’d guess. Considering I’m three thousand five hundred and eighty-nine years old, it takes a while for me to show any aging,” I explained.

“Wait, that makes about a hundred and eighty years of real time equal one year’s worth of aging, were you going through puberty for nine fucking centuries?” Jay laughed, finding that figure particularly amusing.

“A little less than that, but yes,” I confessed.

“And how old is Chelly?” Jay continued.

“Tia’s not that much older, she only has ten years on me,” I replied.

“So essentially the same age? Damn, that must make the whole inheritance thing that much worse,” Jay commented, unintentionally opening a very old wound.

“It wasn’t that as much as how differently we were treated. Mother publicly favored Tia and scorned me, even forcing Father to do the same. He tried to treat me well, but that only made it worse when we were caught. Tia...Tia never knew pain,” I choked, breaking into sobs again. I didn’t really know why, that was a long time ago and I’d moved on; even now I had a better life than Tia ever did.

“Hey now, it’s alright. You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to,” Jay cooed as he pulled me into a hug and stroked my mane, making sure he got his fingers all the way to my scalp the way I liked.

I felt a powerful need to find Luna’s parents and break them, I’d done far worse to assholes that hadn’t neglected and abused their children for centuries. The fact that Luna could function at all was amazing.

“Don’t take it out on Tia, it wasn’t really her fault,” Luna managed, her voice cracking.

“No, I was actually thinking about asking Discord if he could send me through time so I could fuck up your folks,” I responded seriously.

“He won’t even if he can, time is too fragile to toy with like that,” Luna replied.

“Damn, guess I’ll just have to find that rock he mentioned,” I reasoned, remembering the draconequus’s tale of how he sealed away the previous pair of alicorns.

“Good luck with that, I don’t even remember where I tossed the thing,” Discord commented.

“Checking in on your handiwork?” I asked warningly.

“In part, I may have helped keep little Lulu here stable during her time as a disease. Maybe even helped you two change her appearance? Or maybe I kept her from melting in that dreadful cure? None of them? All of them? Some? Who’s to say really? What’s important is that it’s so entertaining that I just had to see it with my own eyes,” Discord replied, testing my patience.

“If you did help me, then I thank you,” Luna said quietly, “But now that it’s over, please allow me to recover with all due haste.”

“Aww, don’t you want me around anymore?” Discord whined.

“Of course we do, this is just a bad time. Tell you what, we’ll all hit up the nearest pub as soon as Luna is old enough to drink,” I offered diplomatically.

“Cut it out Jay, that’s mean,” Luna whined, obviously still sore about not being able to swear.

“Then go back to sleep, that seems to be when you grow,” I suggested.

“I’m not tired,” Luna grumbled petulantly.

“Sir, I know it isn’t a good time but Celestia has arrived to check on Mistress Luna,” Tzu announced as he stuck his head into the room.

“And like that, I’m out of here,” the empty space where Discord used to be replied.

“Feeling tired yet?” I asked sarcastically, my somewhat jovial mood ruined by my sister-in-law’s existence.

Luna sighed loudly as she got her lanky legs under her and stood, “I guess we have to go see her. This is going to be horrible.”

“Oh. My. Cosmos. You are too cute!” Celestia cried as she lept the distance between her and her miniaturized sister and nearly crushed the smaller alicorn. Instead of the tackle Celestia had intended, she had landed on my outstretched hand and grunted as the air left her lungs.

“What the personality changing fuck Chelly?” I asked the diarch wheezing in my grip.

“I must ask the same Tia, what was that about?” Luna agreed.

“That was my favorite age, I always thought you were so adorable,” Celestia replied, her smile only widening. It made my nonexistent stomach turn.

“Adorable? Adorable?! You obviously remember those years differently, sister. You made fun of me all the time, you called me a freak when my teats grew in so early, you beat me when I tried to talk, you got your friends to hit my flanks and make fun of how flat and hard they were, you said I was ugly and that I’d never…” Luna ranted furiously as he glared at her older, and much larger, sister.

“Lu, I think you’ve made your point,” I interrupted, seeing the tears running down Luna’s face and feeling an odd pang of rage at the sight.

“Luna, I-I’m sorry. I-” Celestia began.

“Chelly, I think you should leave. Come back when I don’t feel more of a need to kill you than usual,” I snapped.

“Wait,” Luna requested quietly as I pushed Celestia away and let her drop to her hooves, “Are you actually sorry or are you just saying that?”

Celestia proved herself a coward yet again as she teleported away without giving a straight answer.

“What a bitch, I might’ve actually hated her less if she’d confirmed that apology,” I spat, still wondering why I was so enraged with the solar diarch.

“Jay, am I making you angry?” Luna asked, seemingly out of nowhere.

“I’m not angry at you,” I replied as I tossed a glare at the spot where Celestia had stood.

“That’s not what I asked,” Luna pointed out.

I sighed and dropped against the wall, finding that this put me at eye level with Luna’s teenage height. I took a moment to gather my thoughts before responding, “Yes, I think you are. I don’t know if it’s because of some connection between us or leftover paternal instincts kicking in, but when she made you cry…”

“You were compelled to protect me,” Luna finished, “I think we need to settle down and figure ourselves out for a while, you’re still learning what it means to be in a relationship and this regression has brought up a lot of painful memories for me. Maybe some time away from all the insanity out there will do us some good.”

“You think closing our doors will help?” I confirmed.

“I do, and it’s starting to get cold. Fuck the cold,” Luna reaffirmed, getting another ear flick for swearing.

“You’ve got a point there, I get sluggish in winter. Stupid virus trying to hibernate, I’ve got shit to do damnit,” I griped jokingly.

“At least there are some fun things coming up, I saw a flier for some marathon when I was in town the other day,” Luna noted.

“What happened to closing ourselves off from the world?” I pointed out.

“That can wait. I still remember playing in Whitetail Woods as a filly, it was always beautiful around this time of year,” Luna replied.

“You’re talking about the Running of the Leaves then. You thinking about signing up?” I asked.

“Are you?” Luna countered.

“I do every year, but I just walk it so someone else can win. Not really fair for me to race ponies,” I replied.

“I think it’ll be fun. Um, I didn’t see when it was happening,” Luna confessed.

“Abaddon?” I asked.

“Next week. You should know that it is being merged with another competition this year, one specifically between Misses Applejack and Rainbow Dash,” Abaddon answered.

“Oh that’ll be hilarious to watch,” I commented, “Are they sticking to standard sports or should I have some safety equipment made up?”

“Jeffrey reports that all of the trials are considered standard,” Abaddon replied.

“How much do you want to bet they’re throwing punches before this is over?” I asked.

“Must everything around us be so violent all the time?” Luna lamented, “I have to hope they won’t throw away their friendship over something so petty, I’ll wager the bits I made off of you yesterday that they don’t fight.”

“You’re on,” I replied, sure I would win this one.

“Wanna watch them?” Luna suggested after an awkwardly long pause.

“I do, but the responsible thing to do would be checking in on the latest reports from our spies among the Allied Nations,” I chided.

“But that’s sooo booooring,” Luna whined.

“Yep,” I agreed as I lifted the lanky alicorn and held her under my shoulder as I walked towards the office.

“Damnit,” Luna swore. I felt teeth snap at the hand I extended to flick Luna’s ear and chuckled at her ineffectual resistance, she couldn’t bite in all directions.

“I hate this so much,” Luna complained.

“I learned long ago that sometimes the best way to get past something dull is to go through it, just get it done so you can do other things,” I replied calmly.

“Bull. You’re just saying that to justify tying me to this fucking chair,” Luna snapped before quickly adding, “Don’t you fucking dare flick me Jay, I swear on the moon!”

“I’ll untie you when you stop acting like a child and trying to run off,” I shot back.

“Gaaaah! Fuck,” Luna swore as she tried and failed to break free. Luna rested her unbound forelegs on her desk and stared at the floor as she gathered herself, “Let me go.”

“Happily, as soon as you finish that stack,” I allowed.

“Let me go,” Luna repeated, more quietly this time.

“No,” I responded. Luna seemed to break at that, she hung her head and openly cried as she lost hope. I watched as Luna went through the stages of grief over having to read. I ignored her offers of money, sex, and the actual moon in exchange for her freedom. I watched impassively and refused any response until Luna finally picked up the first report and read through it, at which point I allowed myself to crack a smile.

Luna fell asleep halfway through the stack, too exhausted from fighting her restraints both physically and mentally to handle the dull task.

“A little behind schedule, but the end result is the same,” I commented quietly as I picked Luna up and gently carried her to bed. I noticed she was already growing before I even made it out of the room.

Once I had Luna tucked in, and learned that she snored at that age, I established a connection with Abaddon and Tzu to catch up on what my troops were doing and where they needed to be. I remained like that, standing stock still with my hand on the wall and my eyes closed, until I felt a hoof poke me in the chest.

“Feeling more normal?” I asked as I finished the sending assignment orders I was working on.

“Not even close,” Luna griped, though she didn’t sound like her normal self. She sounded like…

“Fucking Nightmare Moon? Really? Poison Joke is fucked up,” I agreed once I opened my eyes and saw Luna’s appearance.

“Drug me if you have to, just make me sleep so I don’t look like this anymore,” Luna requested, almost begging.

“Not a fan?” I joked, stalling for time as I synthesized a general sedative.

“If looking at my fur making me seriously consider suicide fits your definition of ‘not a fan,’ then I suppose so,” Luna snapped.

“Weren’t you in a sort of stasis when you were banished? How long was Nightmare actually in control?” I asked.

“Eight months maybe, it kind of blurs together,” Luna confessed.

“Huh, guess I don’t need this after all,” I commented as I reabsorbed the drugs.

“What? No, put me under!” Luna ordered, looking terrified.

“You’ve said a lot of things I found concerning today, most notably your most recent one about suicide. You’ve come a long way in being comfortable with yourself, but part of that has to include your past. Instead of freaking the fuck out over a slightly different color fur, why don’t you close your eyes and just try to relax,” I instructed as I picked Luna up and set her on her hindquarters, “Also, those eyes are probably going to fall out soonish, so I’d better have a new pair made.”

“Relax in the body of the thing that ruined my life? Sure, I’ll get right on that,” Luna replied sarcastically.

“You seem happy enough to me most days,” I pointed out.

“Don’t go there Jay, the Nightmare was pure evil. We would’ve met sooner if she had never existed, I will not give her credit for how good my life has gotten,” Luna warned.

“Perhaps, or I might’ve killed you. I was a very different person back then, I was angry and bitter towards ponies for a long time, I drove the changelings extinct for killing Sigrid, and I was a professional killer for hire. I don’t think I would’ve seen you as anything other than a contract holder or target, I didn’t even see your sister as anything more than that,” I rebutted.

“You did jobs for Tia? Like what?” Luna asked, eagerly latching onto the new topic.

“Dealing with gangs and pirates mostly, at least when she had an actual job for us to do. Other times she’d cage my entourage with her magic and try to capture me, then I’d kick the shit out of her and go home,” I explained with a shrug.

“Hmmm, I just remembered what Dawn said. If you consider your interactions with Tia through that lens...I think she likes pain. Tia never had so much as a skinned knee when we were young, I think she sees it as something exciting,” Luna theorized.

“That’s disturbing on a whole new level,” I commented, “But I’m the only one I know of that’s actually struck her, aside from when Dopple stabbed her, so there’s that.”

“I think it’s worth a confrontation at least. Think about it, we could settle your feud and live in peace so long as you keep punching my sister whenever she feels the need for it,” Luna proposed.

“Most people take offense when their relatives get hurt,” I pointed out.

“I’m literally wearing the skin of a mass murderer that tried to kill the world, I am as far from ‘most people’ as you can get,” Luna rebutted.

“Fair ‘nuff, but let’s wait until you aren’t wearing the aforementioned skin,” I relented.

“Fair ‘nuff,” Luna agreed before cracking a weak smile, “Say, do I remember you tying me to a chair?”

“Nope, must’ve been a dream. Was it a good one at least?” I lied.

“You lying sack of manure,” Luna teased, though she quickly turned serious as she made connections and realized what had really happened, “But really, don’t do that again. I know how I was acting and how out of it I was, but please don’t manipulate me like that. I-I need to be able to trust you and that hurts me.”

“I’m sorry, it was the best solution I could come up with. I wasn’t comfortable adding any drugs to your system because I couldn’t know how well your body would react, it could’ve put you in a coma or worse,” I reasoned.

“You’re a heartless bastard, you know that?” Luna snapped angrily as she fled from our room, leaving little wet spots on the floor to mark her progress.

“I don’t understand what I did wrong,” I commented to no one, confused as to how I had made Luna cry.

“I don’t know either,” Abaddon responded supportively.

“Well, keep tabs on her and let me know what’s what,” I instructed with a shrug.

“Will do,” Abaddon replied.

After an hour of waiting and wandering the halls aimlessly, I decided to check on Luna myself. Through Abaddon’s many eyes and connection to Jeffrey, I found the alicorn in Ponyville. She seemed to be doing alright and was even laughing at some joke Cheerilee had made, so I stayed put and maintained my silent vigil.

At least I could think and plan without accidentally giving anything away. There were some things that needed to remain private, some orders that had to be given silently, some assassinations and kidnappings that couldn’t be known about, and one target in particular had caught my attention. A certain gryphon general was making waves in the isles for being especially zealous, he’d make a good puppet. General Hans Feder, I know you now. Soon enough, I’ll own you too.

“India Five is available now, let’s give them a mission they can actually accomplish,” I mumbled to myself as I relayed the orders to Tzu. Six enforcers should be overkill for a mission as simple as this, but they’d been out of the game for a long time and I couldn’t risk any mistakes. Take and replace wasn’t the easiest job, kill and replace was far easier, but I had faith in my intelligence corps to get it done quietly.

My attention was drawn back to Ponyville as Luna tried and failed to enter the library.

Nope nope nope noooooppppe,” Spike repeated as he swung his mighty weapon around with practiced ease, the broom proving itself more than a match against me.

Ow! Darnit Spike, cut it out,” I snapped as I tried to protect my head with a foreleg and back away at the same time.

“Twilight! Get the Elements! Quick!” Spike called, heedless of my plight or attempts at diplomacy.

“No, it’s me Spike! I’m me! Shoot, what was that code again? Tomatoes and something?” I stammered as I tried in vain to protect myself without causing an even bigger scene.

“Princess?” Spike asked as he paused.

“Yes Spike, it’s me. The Poison Joke cure has me re-aging to where I was and this was, albeit briefly and shamefully, an appearance I once held. I was a teenager a few hours ago,” I replied, relieved that the situation had diffused.

“Oh, how come Jeff didn’t say anything?” Spike continued with a pointed look at the wall.

“I suspect it’s the same reason they do anything, they think it’s funny,” I guessed.

“I would’ve stepped in if it went too far,” Jeffrey interjected defensively.

“It doesn’t matter, it was wrong,” I stated firmly, “You should’ve told Spike that my appearance was temporary and that I was still the same person, just like you did with everypony else in town.”

“Yeah Jeff, that was kinda mean,” Spike agreed.

“I’ll keep that in mind then,” Jeffrey responded snidely as his avatar sunk into the floor, reminding me that Jay had described the leviathan as potentially being the most powerful creature on the planet. I had just scolded a thing that could crush me with the barest trace of effort.

Shaking my head to clear that thought, I returned to my reason for entering the library at all, “Say Spike, do you have any recommendations for long reads?”

“As in books?” Spike confirmed.

“This is a library,” I pointed out.

“Heh, yeah. You’ll be, like, the third or fourth pony to actually rent a book since Twilight and I moved in, sometimes I forget that these books are more than Twilight’s personal stash,” Spike confessed.

“Understandable, considering the mare in question,” I agreed with a smirk.

“Yeah...Oh right, you were looking for some books. Well, the Daring Do series is pretty popular. And Twilight has a copy of ‘The Trials’ hidden under her mattress, though I don’t know why. I guess those would be a good place to start,” Spike offered.

“They’ll do nicely, thank you,” I replied as Spike gathered the books he had mentioned.

“Any reason for picking these up?” Spike asked conversationally as he stacked the tomes to make them easier to carry.

“Jay and I have decided to take some time to figure ourselves out, we’ll be mostly closed off from the outside world until Winter Wrap Up. I imagine that will get boring very quickly, so I’d like something to help me pass the time,” I explained.

“Not too soon, I hope. You wouldn’t want to miss Nightmare Night,” Spike replied.

“Nightmare what?” I asked, shocked.

“Nightmare Night,” Spike repeated, “It’s mostly for foals, but it’s pretty fun. All the children and most of the adults dress up as all kinds of wacky things and do a bunch of fun stuff. There’s always a lot of candy given out and there are usually games, oh and some ponies play pranks on everypony else. But the best part has to be all the free candy.”

“When is this festival?” I wondered, struck dumb by the thought of something so terrible being twisted into a child’s holiday.

“End of October, about four weeks before the harvest festival,” Spike replied.

“Is it on the calendar? Can I see?” I requested.

“Sure, one second,” Spike allowed, walking over to the far wall to retrieve the calendar hanging there. Once it was in my possession I flipped through the months until I found the described holiday, then compared that to the harvest festival. The connection was there, I just couldn’t believe it.

It was over a minute before I found my tongue and figured out how to form words, “That’s my birthday.”

“Really? Cool,” Spike commented, not seeing the same implications that were occupying my thoughts. My eyes flicked between the calendar and my hoof rapidly as I struggled to understand why Tia would do such a thing. Why would she make sure everypony knew my birthday? Why would she make it a beloved holiday? My vision spun shortly before the room tilted and I knew no more.

I hadn’t known about the connection between this world’s Halloween and Luna’s birthday, but it wasn’t too surprising once I thought about it. Surely nothing to faint over. Nevertheless, I sent a squad to retrieve Luna and her books before severing my connection and rubbing my eyes. That was a bad habit I should’ve broken by now, leaving my eyes open while my attention was focused elsewhere. Without a blinking reflex, they dried out rather quickly. It wasn’t painful, just uncomfortable.

Once I was satisfied with the moistness of my eyeballs, I sighed and turned to walk out towards the deck with the intention of meeting Luna there, “Ehem.”

“How long have you been standing there?” I asked the figure that had gotten my attention.

“Exactly as long as you have been ignoring me, about fifteen minutes,” Celestia snapped.

“I wasn’t paying attention, I was too busy watching over your sister and setting up for your war,” I shot back.

“Whatever,” Celestia responded.

“Why are you here anyway? If you’re looking for me to feed your pain fetish, you could’ve sent a letter,” I asked.

“I’m here because your impostor doesn’t complain about doing paperwork and I needed somewhere to hide. Besides, I was under the impression that I was welcome here so long as our alliance held,” Celestia spat.

“Ever the lazy one,” I commented, “Alright, but Luna’s still recovering from the Poison Joke.”

“Aww, is she still that adorable little filly?” Celestia cooed, seeming to melt at the thought.

“I want to tear your fucking eyes out right now so fucking much, no. Luna’s regained her faculties, but she looks like Nightmare,” I corrected.

“She isn’t though, is she?” Celestia asked, a hint of fear in her voice.

I couldn’t take it anymore, I lashed out and sent the diarch crashing into the wall. I was on her before she could hit the floor, driving punch after punch and kick after kick into her rapidly deteriorating body. I finally let Celestia fall when I hit the very edge of what she could survive, sending a silent command to Abaddon to repair the damage I had wrought as I turned away and growled away the last of my rage.

“Ow,” Celestia managed.

“Everything you’ve done, everything you’ve destroyed, everything you’ve cost both of us, and you’re scared Luna’s gone Nightmare again? What the absolute FUCK is wrong with your brain? Do you need me to pull it open and find out? I can do that, it wouldn’t even hurt. No shit, say the word and I’ll fix whatever chemical shit is making you that fucking delusional,” I ranted venomously, spinning around to glare once more at the broken princess.

“I just don’t want to lose her again,” Celestia wept quietly.

Things began to fit into place, pieces of history that never made sense until that moment. Celestia never considered me an enemy, not really, I was the only one who would punish her for her sins.

“Chelly, did you attack me so I’d hurt you?” I asked bluntly.

Celestia was silent for a long time, so long that her body was completely repaired and she was able to sit upright under her own power before her graced me with a response, “Sometimes.”

“When you go to sleep tonight, I want you to know what you’ve done with that answer. I don’t hate you anymore, I pity you,” I declared quietly, “Abaddon can find you a room if you need to sleep that beating off, and Cat’s door is next to mine if you need someone to talk to. Cat’s a demon, but she’s alright.”

“Jekyll...please don’t tell Luna,” Celestia requested as I turned to leave.

“There are hundreds of thousands of things I don’t tell Luna, why should I add another to that list?” I asked.

“She needs me to be strong, she needs something stable in her life,” Celestia insisted.

“Bullshit. She had an abusive mother, what she needs is a caring sister,” I spat before walking out. I hoped Celestia wasn’t playing any games with me, I hoped she was sincere and would take my advice to heart, but I also knew who I was dealing with. The entire thing was more likely to be a ploy, yet another of Celestia’s manipulations.

I had lied, I still hated Celestia with every cell in my body. And with me and my kind, we meant that literally.